WCXXI ::Roleplay Thread:: [Archive]

Vilita

19-02-2005, 16:00

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/ttov.gif

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/vilitachampions20.gif

Vilita Crowned World Cup 20 Champions
Tanner Nerni: From Beachfront to Glory

------------------The story begins on the shores of Turori. A young boy, with a mixed set of parents, one from Vilita and one from Turori, was playing with a soccer ball in the sand. Living in a beach house, young Tanner Nerni frequented the beach with his soccer ball and showed off his foot skills to his friends and other beach goers. One of those beach goers, one summer day, happened to be a scout from a new footballing franchise in Turori, the Cednia Beach AFC club. The team was set to join the Vilitan Stellar Division that was starting up shortly with 12 clubs from Vilita, and two from Turori. Cednia Beach was one of the two. Cednia Beach was started up by Turorian National team stars Marlian Hunial and Milauo Slietah, but was also developing an academy system to breed new Turorian Talent to ensure the clubs future. This scout was quick to speak with Tanner's parents, and soon, the boy was spending his afternoons with the Cednia Beach AFC youth academy. Now 14 years old, Tanner was frequently scoring goals from the Right Wing for the Cednia Youth Squad in matches against other academies from the region, including scoring against the world-famous Marine Coast Academy. Tanner's impressive performances with the academy earned him a professional contract with Cednia Beach AFC, and Tanner made his Vilitan Stellar Division debut at 16 years of age against fellow Turorian club FC Almintora.

------------------Just three matches later, Nerni became the youngest goalscorer in the Stellar Division when he knocked home the match winner in the 66th minute for Cednia Beach against Vilitan side Jlinal Cove. In his second season at the club, Nerni got to play in the Vilitan Cup Final against Marine Coast United, but Cednia Beach lost 2-0. However, it was not all in veign for Nerni, who was spotted by Marine Coast Manager and Under-21 head coach Baron O'Toole. O'Toole requested Nerni to come play for the Vilitan Under-21 squad, and after talking it over with his parents, Tanner Nerni was a Vilitan International. Despite being a regular goalscorer for Cednia Beach, including being named player of the year in Season 7 and Season 8, Nerni could not break through to the Vilitan National team. Nerni instead stayed within Atlantian Oceania, and became a regular on the AOCAF squad, netting twice against his own native Turori for his first two goals in a Vilitan uniform. Nerni also netted for the Under 21 team against Raptor Claw, on two seperate occasions, as well as scoring against Liverpool England, Rejistania, The Weegies and Druida.

------------------Nerni got his first chance to prove himself with some of the National Team players by getting the call up to the squad for Eagles Cup III. Nerni scored against a below-par Creedence Clearwater team, but the squad was humiliatingly knocked off by rivals Eystrck in the Quarter Finals, and most of the prospect players, including Nerni and Forward Hluali Mijatos, were cast aside by Vilitan head coach Helmut Vilkaus. There was only one chance left for Tanner Nerni. No longer eligible for the Under-21 squad, and unlikely to feature in the Regional Squad, Tanner Nerni knew he had to be playing in the Vilitan spotlight in order to break into the National Team. Nerni's break came In Season 9, when Vilitan Champions Yeaddin Owls AFC made a Vilitan Record transfer bid for the Winger, which Cednia Beach AFC were quick to accept. Soon, Tanner Nerni would be off to Vilita. The awards and recognitions started piling in, including winning The Tropical Trophy, The Vilitan Stellar Division, the Vilitan Cup and being named Vilitan Midfielder of the Year, Tanner Nerni finally earned his call to the National Team for World Cup 18 Qualifying. Nerni impressed when given a starting role, scoring twice to help Vilita in wins over Kylaai and Maserrat. However, he was still not getting the regular play he had hoped for.

------------------Tanner returned to the regional scene for AOCAF V as captain of the squad at the request of Massimo Corsi. Nerni accepted the role, but only netted once and the teams overall failure seemed to be the nail through Tanner Nerni's national dreams. While the Vilitan National team were going unbeaten through World Cup 19 Qualifiers, Tanner Nerni barely got to take part, only getting the chance to score against lowly puppet Finrods. Mass failures in the finals however, gave a hint of change throughout Vilita. Unfortunately for Nerni, he could not take advantage of this, and was again left off the scoresheet in World Cup 20 Qualifying. But then, Helmut Vilkaus called Tanner Nerni. Helmut admitted that budding young midfielder Jacques Vintila was ahead of Nerni on his depth chart, but Vilkaus wanted something different in his squad. Vilkaus was looking for the desire, and the experience, that would lead his team to the World Cup Final. Nerni was an important player in maintaining team spirit throughout the World Cup 20 finals in Druida, and it was only fitting when the ball hit the back of the net, and Tanner Nerni, the little boy from Cednia Beach, wheeled away towards the billions of frantic Vilitan Supporters, having just scored his first ever World Cup Finals goal. The goal that brought the World Cup to Vilita for the very first time.

South Osettia

19-02-2005, 16:02

Three shots broke the relative peace of the night, and as Emmett fell to the ground, and the blood started to soak his shirt, Moira screamed, attracting the attention of all in the near vicinity that hadn’t already been alerted by the shots. A crowd quickly gathered around what to them was just another fallen man. A woman pushed her way to the front of the crowd.

“Out of my way – I’m a nurse!” She crouched down beside Emmett, who was still conscious, but only just. Moira was frantically trying to stop the bleeding, but not doing the best of jobs.

“Is he going to live? Is he going to live!?!” It was at that point that Emmett blacked out.

***

The perfect crime, Darius thought. He quickly took the gun apart and put it back in the box, which he then handed back to his compatriot.

“Come, let us go. Our job here is done, and Bob will be proud of us.”

***

“Is he dead?” one of the members of the crowd asked. The nurse put two fingers to Emmett’s neck, looked back at the crowd, and then at Moira.

“I have some news for you, ma’am.”

She ripped open Emmett's shirt to reveal a bullet vest with three holes near where the heart was. Out of these holes was pouring a red liquid that looked like blood, but what was, on closer inspection, red food colouring.

"The latest prototype. A guy I knew from college was more than willing to let me borrow it." Moira looked into Emmett's face to see him staring back at her, with what was just about as much a smile as you could get from someone who had just been shot. The tears choked her, and as she flung herself on top of Emmett, she let it all out.

"How did you know? How did you know?" The questions went unanswered, and as they lay there on the pavement outside SOFA Headquarters, they kissed. They never looked back from what could have been a very fateful day.

***

Since the attempted murder of World Cup Chief Emmett Devoll four years ago, things had changed dramatically at SOFA Headquarters. The accidental death of SOFA Chief Cary Mclauglin in a hang-gliding accident had led to him being replaced by Sam Wanabaker just two years before the start of the next World Cup. With him, Wanabaker brought an entourage of staff, with which he intended to replace every element of the Mclauglin regime. Devoll’s prospective replacement was former Maserratian soccer star Qostaze Ubuloy, a national hero and a living legend. To get around his imminent departure, Devoll called for a nationwide vote, an action that had the backing of the SO President, Mikheil Saakashvili. Against all the odds, Devoll won the vote 51-49, and kept his job, along with that of his assistant, Polly Reynolds. Ubuloy remains a prominent figure in the SOFA world, and is even now keeping an eye on Devoll, waiting for him to slip up and enable him to pounce.

Despite his best efforts, Devoll could not save anybody else’s job, and the entire World Cup department was replaced. A solitary figure of suspicion and hatred, Devoll found it hard to adapt to his new colleagues, and was on the verge of resigning when a terrorist cell, the same one that had tried to kill him two-and-a-half years ago, took control of the department and held everybody hostage. Devoll, who had been in the bathroom at the time, was missed, and he, with the help of the police outside the building, managed to eliminate the terrorist threat and save all the hostages (a little like in Die Hard, but as nobody had seen it in SO, the comparison wasn’t made at the time).

With a newfound respect from his colleagues, Devoll started to make progress and prepare for the next World Cup, with the help of his immediate underlings: Danny Liddell, Deputy World Cup Chief (DWCC), Cathy Stewbart, World Cup Press Officer (WCPO), Hugh Daley, World Cup Intelligence Officer (WCIO), and Tom Patterson, World Cup Negotiations Officer (WCNO). Together they successfully steer South Osettia into the World Cup Qualifying Stages, and this is where we pick up the story, four years after the shooting. Who knows what events might unfold over the next couple of weeks…but whatever goes on, remember: something big always happens at the end.

Oh yeah, Moira and Emmett got married too, and are expecting twins in about a month. The walls of the World Cup Department have also been painted a sickly beige colour.

Grozhny

19-02-2005, 16:04

Grozhny(A.K.A The Indominale Wolves) RP :sniper:

Lethislavania

19-02-2005, 16:49

Lethislavania [2] - World Cup Selection Commitee [1] AET

Grueling, strenuous, tense. Those three words quickly summed up the experience that both Lethislavania and Cockbill Street went through. In the first bout of voting, it seemed we were in last place. However, due to some difficulties, a second vote was required. This time around, Lethislavania and Cockbill pulled it off, racing ahead of the pack for the win.

These last few weeks have been trying, as Lethislavania struggles to finish preparing. Crystilakere has still not sent us a copy of their flag for the Alley of Dreams, a commerative walkway with a flag of every nation participating in the cup. On Maine Street, gigantic orange and green cloth strips unfurled from the street lamps, gently gliding down until they barely missed the ground. Unfortunately, they were destroyed in a vicious windstorm the next day, and we are waiting for replacements.

Also, we need Vilita to send us some popcorn. We're out. Anyways, I hope that in two weeks, I'll have some good match scores to bring you, Fighting Green fans. Until then, have a fantastic World Cup!

Audioslavia

20-02-2005, 01:29

Its that time again...

Audioslavia's Football Statistics

World Cup 4
Qualifying
W4-2 Enelando
L1-2 Alhana Catherine
W3-2 Dyelibeybi
L1-2 Lemmitania
W3-1 Divine Llama
L0-1 Lunatic Goofballs

Finals
D3-3 Kingsford
W2-1 Jurrasica
D1-1 Europa Brittania
D1-1 Lemmitania (D1-1AET L2-3PEN)

P W D L F A
10 4 2 4 19 16

World Cup 5
Qualifiers
L0-4 Squornshelous
L0-3 One Red Dot
L0-1 Hendland
W4-0 Halfassedstates
W3-2 Caras Sidh
W2-1 Dark Outcasts
D1-1 Christofi
L1-2 Moyk

P W D L F A
8 3 1 4 11 14

World Cup 6
Qualifying
W2-0 Great White Sharks
D3-3 _AMP
W4-3 Porvoo
W4-1 Jay Cutter
W3-2 Cobra Cult
W6-0 Iuthia
D1-1 Starving Children
W2-1 Great White Sharks
D1-1 _AMP
W1-0 Porvoo
L2-3 Jay Cutter
D1-1 Cobra Cult
W2-0 Iuthia
L2-3 Starving Children

Finals
L0-3 Spaam
D1-1 Lemmitania
W2-1 Cobra Cult

P W D L F A
17 9 5 3 37 24

World Cup VII
Finals
L3-4 Malundar
W3-1 Liverpool England
W1-0 Kingsford
L2-4 Errinundera (AET)

P W D L F A
4 2 0 2 9 9

World Cup VIII
Qualifiers
W4-0 Sycoes
L1-2 Black Eagle Corps.
W2-1 Voyger
W2-0 Demonic Beings
D1-1 Quohog
D1-1 Sycoes
D0-0 Black Eagle Corps
D2-2 Voyger
D0-0 Demonic Beings
D1-1 Quohog

Finals
L1-2 Halfassedstates
L2-3 The Belmore Family
W3-1 Bullonien

P W D L F A
13 4 6 3 20 14

World Cup IX
Qualifiers
W2-0 Clearwater
L0-2 Lanky Dude
D1-1 Sensual Products
L0-1 East Spaam
D0-0 Timway
L0-1 Aquilla
W2-0 Spaam
W3-1 Clearwater
W3-1 Lanky Dude
W1-0 Sensual Products
W2-0 East Spaam
W3-2 Timway
D0-0 Aquilla
L0-1 Spaam

Finals
L1-2 The Belmore Family
D1-1 Oglethorpia
W1-0 Nikea

P W D L F A
17 8 4 5 20 13

World Cup 10
Qualifiers
W2-1 Svecia
W3-0 Dauragons
L1-2 Zinkoland
W3-0 Citta Acqua
L1-2 Dragonian Empire
W2-0 Davii
L0-1 Clearwater
W3-1 Ravenspire
W1-0 Svecia
W3-0 Dauragons
L2-3 Zinkoland
W2-0 Citta Acqua
W2-1 Dragonian Empire
W3-1 Davii
L0-1 Clearwater
D1-1 Ravenspire

Finals
L1-2 Lemmitania
W1-0 Total 'n Utter Insanity
W3-0 Commerce Heights
L0-1 Kingsford

P W D L F A
20 12 1 7 34 17

World Cup 11
Qualifiers
D0-0 Oddslavo
W1-0 Mattigool
W3-0 Lynnwoode
W2-0 Artemsia Absentia
W2-0 Ice Reavers
L0-2 Aquilla
W2-0 Big Butts
D0-0 Oddslavo
W4-1 Mattigool
W2-1 Lynnwoode
W2-0 Artemsia Absentia
W4-0 Ice Reavers
D1-1 Aquilla
D1-1 Big Butts

Finals
W1-0 Total n Utter Insanity
W3-2 Runaway Moose
W1-0 Kerla
L0-1 Europa Brittania

P W D L F A
18 12 4 2 29 9

World Cup XII
Qualifying
W2-1 EL CID THE HERO
D1-1 Iansisle
W4-0 Abysmalistan
L0-1 East Spaam
W4-2 James A Hollar
L1-2 Eaglet
W5-2 Gaddland
D2-2 EL CID THE HERO
W1-0 Iansisle
W2-0 Abysmalistan
L1-2 East Spaam
W1-0 James A Hollar
D0-0 Eaglet
D2-2 Gaddland

Finals
W2-1 NASTIC 2
L0-3 Oglethorpia
W3-1 Gesamkuntswerk
W2-1 Europa Brittania
W5-4 Squornshelous
W4-3 Commerce Heights
L1-1 Rejistania (1-1 AET, 2-3 on penalties)

P W D L F A
21 12 4 5 43 30

World Cup 13
Qualifiers
W2-0 Magnus Valerius
W2-0 Avenging Altos
W1-0 Free Radicals of Mu-Mu
L0-2 NEWI Cefn Druids
W4-0 Fahigland
L1-3 Bedistan
W2-0 Iansisle
W2-0 Dennisov
W3-0 Resistencia
W4-0 Magnus Valerius
W1-0 Avenging Altos
W1-0 Free Radicals of Mu-Mu
W4-1 NEWI Cefn Druids
D0-0 Fahigland
W1-0 Bedistan
D0-0 Iansisle
W1-0 Dennisov
W3-0 Resistencia

Finals
W2-0 Kerla
D1-1 Liverpool England
D0-0 Sliponia
L1-2 Spaam

P W D L F A
22 14 5 3 36 9

World Cup 14
Qualifying
W2-0 New Luca
D1-1 The Eagles Nest
L0-3 Total n Utter Insanity
D2-2 East Spaam
W2-1 Grand Master Mark
W3-1 New Montreal States
W1-0 Presgreif
W1-0 Larkinia
W2-0 Kendelstand
W3-1 New Luca
L0-2 The Eagles Nest
W2-1 Total 'n Utter Insanity
D1-1 East Spaam
W2-1 Grand Master Mark
W2-0 New Montreal States
W4-2 Presgrief
W2-1 Larkinia
W2-1 Kendelstand

Finals
W2-0 Kerla
L0-3 Brazillico
W1-0 Kaze Progressa
L0-1 Eauz

P W D L F A
22 15 3 4 35 22

World Cup 15
Qualifiers
W1-0 Isles of Wohlstand
L0-1 Commerce Heights
L0-1 Jerusalem
W1-0 Creedence Clearwater
W3-0 Raptor Claw
W3-0 Ineptia
W3-0 Kipto Mare
W3-0 Boscioto
W2-0 Sportonia
W1-0 Isles of Wohlstand
D1-1 Commerce Heights
W2-0 Jerusalem
W4-1 Creedence Clearwater
W2-1 Raptor Claw
W3-1 Ineptia
W2-0 Kipto Mare
W1-0 Boscioto
W2-0 Sportonia

Finals
D2-2 Kingsford
L0-2 Lovisa
W2-1 Aquilla

P W D L F A
21 16 2 3 38 11

World Cup 16
Qualifiers
W6-0 Adrasuvare
W3-2 Vilita
W2-1 Raptor Claw
W3-1 Redavic Union
D2-2 Hazlia
W4-1 Adrasuvare
W2-0 Vilita
D3-3 Raptor Claw
W1-0 The Redavic Union
W4-0 Hazlia

Finals
W3-0 Iansisle
D3-3 Oaker
D2-2 Kingsford
L0-2 Rejistania

P W D L F A
14 9 4 1 38 17

World Cup 17
Qualifiers
W3-0 Magnus Valerius
L0-1 Ebon Hawk
W3-2 Isles Of Wohlstand
W3-1 Big Pimento
L1-4 Squornshelous
W5-2 Cockbill Street
D0-0 The Weegies
W2-0 Magnus Valerius
W3-0 Ebon Hawk
W1-0 Isles of Wohlstand
D3-3 Big Pimento
D0-0 Squornshelous
D1-1 Cockbill Street
W3-1 The Weegies
W2-1 Halfassedstates

Finals
W2-1 Starblaydia
W5-4 NEWI Cefn Druids
W3-2 The Lowland Clans
D1-1 Aquiliana (L1-2 AET)

P W D L F A
19 12 4 3 41 25

World Cup 18
Qualifiers
W4-1 Vollmeria
W2-0 Tadjikistan
W3-0 Avenging Altos
L1-2 Druida
W3-0 Cockbill Street
W2-0 Oaker
W5-0 Kipto Mare
W4-0 Vollmeria
W3-0 Tadjikistan
W1-0 Avenging Altos
W4-0 Druida
D1-1 Cockbill Street
W3-1 Oaker
W3-0 Kipto Mare

Finals
W2-1 Tadjikistan
W2-1 Aquilliana
D0-0 Commerce Heights
W1-0 Snub Nose 38
L0-3 Kaze Progressa

P W D L F A
19 15 2 2 45 10

Eagles Cup V
L2-3 Starblaydia
W3-1 Turori
D0-0 Legalese
L0-1 Starblaydia
W3-1 Turori
D1-1 Legalese
W3-1 Liverpool England
W1-0 The Belmore Family
L0-1 Bedistan

P W D L F A
9 4 2 3 13 9

World Cup 19
W1-0 Slaikau
W3-0 Antixillian Fatwah
W3-1 Middle March
W5-0 Zvarinograd
W2-1 The Lowland Clans
D1-1 Sarzonia
W2-1 Lykaia
W4-2 Slaikau
W2-0 Antixillian Fatwah
W4-0 Middle March
W1-0 Zvarinograd
D2-2 The Lowland Clans
W3-2 Sarzonia
D1-1 Lykaia

Finals
W3-0 Cockbill Street
D1-1 Commerce Heights
L0-1 Lovisa
D1-1 Nova Britannicus (1-1 AET, W7-6 on penalties)
W1-0 Turori
D0-0 Dance 2 Revolution (0-0 AET, W4-3 on penalties)
L0-1 Crystilakere

P W D L F A
21 15 4 2 40 14

World Cup 20
Qualifying
W3-1 Spaam
W3-0 Giant Zucchini
W2-0 East Lithuania
W1-0 San Verdi
W1-0 One Red Dot
W2-1 Snub Nose 38
W2-0 Wella
D1-1 Spaam
D1-1 Giant Zucchini
D2-2 East Lithuania
W2-0 San Verdi
L2-3 One Red Dot
D1-1 Snub Nose 38
W4-2 Wella

Finals
L1-2 The Lowland Clans
W3-1 Liverpool England
W2-1 Bedistan
W2-0 One Red Dot
W1-0 Bedistan
W5-3 Squornshelous
L0-1 Vilita

P W D L F A
20 14 4 3 41 20

Jurassic Invitational Cup
D2-2 Cockbill Street
W4-2 Bedistan
W5-1 Haperd
W2-1 South Osettia
W1-0 Turori
L1-2 Bedistan
L1-2 Squornshelous

P W D L F A
7 4 1 2 16 10

World Cup 21
L1-2 Oceaice
W2-0 Funny Looking Islands
W2-0 Sonaron
L1-3 Nova Britannicus
W3-1 Haperd
D1-1 Kylaai
W3-1 Oceaice
W1-0 Funny Looking Islands
L0-3 Sonaron
D1-1 Nova Britannicus
W2-0 Haperd
D2-2 Kylaai
W4-0 Iansisle
W1-0 Iansisle

Finals
W2-0 Nova Britannicus
W2-0 Lethisvania
L1-2 Oaker
W1-0 Turori

P W D L F A
18 11 3 4 30 16

All-time statistics
P W D L F A
321 195 61 65 583 270

Ranks/Achievements in each tournament:
World Cup 1 - N/A, Didn't Participate
World Cup 2 - N/A, Didn't Participate
World Cup 3 - N/A, Didn't Participate
World Cup 4 - 100, Second Round
World Cup 5 - 011, Didn't Qualify
World Cup 6 - 040, First Round
World Cup 7 - 020, Second Round
World Cup 8 - 013, First Round
World Cup 9 - 018, First Round
World Cup 10- 018, Second Round
World Cup 11- 011, Second Round
World Cup 12- 004, Runner-Up
World Cup 13- 002, Second Round
World Cup 14- 006, Second Round
World Cup 15- 005, First Round
World Cup 16- 009, Second Round
World Cup 17- 006, Second Round
World Cup 18- 006, Quarter Final (Eagles Cup 5, Final)
World Cup 19- 006, Runner-Up
World Cup 20- 001, Runner-Up (Jurassic Invitational Cup, Fourth Place)
World Cup 21- 001, First Round

Records:
Biggest Win: 6-0 Vs Iuthia, 6-0 Vs Adrasuvare
Biggest Defeat: 0-4 Vs Squornshelous

Gaian Ascendancy

20-02-2005, 22:35

~ World Cup Schedule Revealed ~

GUNN Sports Desk: ~ The Ascendancy learns it has been placed in Group 10, with a slew of interesting nations, and one already well anticipated rematch (two times no less..)

Gaian Ascendancy Cup Schedule:

~ World Cup 21

Group 10:

MD01
Lovisa v. Gaian Ascendancy

MD02
Gaian Ascendancy v. Vilita

MD03
Big Pimento v. Gaian Ascendancy

MD04
Gaian Ascendancy v. Oaker

MD05
Liamist States v. Gaian Ascendancy

MD06
Evalness v. Gaian Ascendancy

MD08
Gaian Ascendancy v. Lovisa

MD09
Vilita v. Gaian Ascendancy

MD10
Gaian Ascendancy v. Big Pimento

MD11
Oaker v. Gaian Ascendancy

MD12
Gaian Ascendancy v. Liamist States

MD13
Gaian Ascendancy v. Evalness

--

The big suprise is the paring with the Baptism of Fire Cup winner, Liamist States. However the Team is no looking past any of the teams, as it participates in their forst major cup.

The 5th Place finish, 3rd in the South Osettia region however gives the Gaian team hope that the experience will give them enough wins to give their nation honor in this major Tourney.

Coach Katya Kerensky had this to say at Gaian Repubic Stadium in Jurai`alheim today, regarding the matches.

"First off, we're honored to be a part of our first major tournament. We're going to run with this, the same as we did in the BoF Cup. With so many good teams, we can expect a long and hard campaign.

Being paired with Liamist States, twice during the Group rounds is a major suprise to us. Admittedly, we wanted a chance to have a shot at them again, even more now that they won the BoF Cup. To do it twice will be well anticipated.

We have to also remind ourselves we're only 97th in the world. We're a long ways from being a top notch team. It's going to take a long while to become a well respected team, and we expect to have a rough road to become a top tier team.

But we also know that fun will be a major component of the team makeup, even with expectations running high in our nation. All the other nations will be thinking the same as us, and many of them are more experienced, and far more matured than we are.

One major factor we expect to have going for us, is our willingness to play the game in a felxible and unorthidox manner. We hope to bring our team a good number of wins, and hopefully some upsets.

Don't kid us. We are getting hungier with every match we participate in, and we're just going to keep feeding that with every win, loss and tie we encounter."

The Gaian team meanwhile is holding a Republic wide vote for a team nickname, which will be revealed by the start of the tournament.

Anticipation in the Ascendancy is running high yet again.

Sjwitz

20-02-2005, 22:48

Sjwitz WC21Qual Draw:

The Draw for WC21Qualifying proceeded rather smoothly. Sjwitz ended up in group 9 and will play Commerce Heights, Eauz, Slaikau, The Eagle's Nest, Talzeckia and Gibberonia. The Schedule:

Matchday 1: Commerce Heights - Sjwitz
MD 2: Sjwitz - Eauz
MD 3: Slaikau - Sjwitz
MD 4: Sjwitz - The Eagle's Nest
MD 5: Talzeckia - Sjwitz
MD 6: Gibberonia - Sjwitz
MD 7: free
MD 8: Sjwitz - Commerce Heights
MD 9: Eauz - Sjwitz
MD 10: Sjwitz - Slaikau
MD 11: The Eagle's Nest - Sjwitz
MD 12: Sjwitz - Talzeckia
MD 13: Sjwitz - Gibberonia
MD 14: free

Sarzonia

20-02-2005, 23:00

Stars react to draw

A new look to the World Cup qualifying effort has brought the Sarzonian national team to Group 2 after playing in Group 8, Group 9, or Group 10 in previous World Cups.

"I'm not sure what that's going to do," Coach Dave Wilson said. "Group 2? Are you sure there's a mistake there somehow?" Turning serious, Wilson said the draw would be "interesting."

"We have three AO teams, and we've played all of them in World Cup qualifiers or World Cup finals," Wilson said. "The Crystilakere matches should be especially interesting because they're our neighbours to the south and we still remember the drubbing we got in the World Cup 19 Finals."

The Lowland Clans and Legalese are also regional mates for the Stars, with Legalese making their introduction to the Stars a rude one with a victory in World Cup 18 qualifying in the first-ever match. The Stars won five straight meetings after that, but the loss still angers the Stars.

"That may have been the one loss that bothered us more than any other loss," Wilson said. "Winning 100 games against those guys wouldn't be enough to make up the gap."

The Stars announced that goalkeepers Troy Perkins and John Bartlett retired from international competition. Their places in the roster will be taken by former Under 21 national team standouts Horace Sandt and Harvey Cooley. Sandt was named the team's starting goalkeeper. Goalkeeper Mark Tanner has suffered a torn anterior cruciate ligament and will likely miss World Cup qualifying.

"It's going to be strange not having Troy in goal," Wilson said. "That said, we need to start giving other players a chance to shine. Horace led the Under 21s to a finals match. He needs to get the opportunity to do that on this level."

Chicanada

20-02-2005, 23:11

Chicanada Kodiak Football

Chicanada Sees Familiar Faces in World Cup Qualifying

Chicanada was placed in Group 6 for World Cup XXI qualifying with Starblaydia, Melmond, Hiiraan, Nonesuch Street, and fellow BoF participants Allanea and Rittarstan. Betting houses in Cana and Douala have begun predicting a fourth place finish in qualifying behind Starblaydia, Hiiraan and Melmond, which would more than likely keep them out of the finals.

One interesting situation for Chicanada in this tournament could come with re-matches against Allanea and Rittarstan, who the Kodiaks beat in the Baptism of Fire. With 4 games between the two squads, Chicanada could see a development of rivalries for future tournaments.

The team, currently ranked 82nd in the world, has low expectations as they did with the Baptism of Fire. "We didn't expect to win a match, let alone go five wins and one loss," Coach Jesnui Viladetta said at a press conference in Cana held after the team arrived back from Vilita. "We think it best to hope for maybe a couple of wins but even us going null in this grouping will be wonderful as long as we continue to show progress after our second place finish."

As for opening against Starblaydia, Viladetta said "We're more than excited to face an excellent squad like them to open qualifying. Even if we get pounded by them it will be a great game to see how far we've progressed and how much work needs to be done." No word on if the team will be shifting from the 4-4-2 formation used in the Baptism of Fire considering Starblaydia utilizes a similar formation [OOC: Provided I can read their graphic for formation correctly..thanks for confirming!].Any major changes are expected to be announced the day of the match and will be covered by any of the news channels.

Chicanada will return home after the match to prepare for hosting Nonesuch Street at the Southern Cross Fieldhouse in Finnen.

The official schedule for Chicanada Qualifying (Home team is listed on the left side, Game venues for Chicanadan Home Matches listed)

MD01
@ Starblaydia
MD02
v Nonesuch Street (Southern Cross Fieldhouse, Finnen)
MD03
@ Hiiraan
MD04
v Melmond (Township Plaza Grounds, Douala)
MD05
v Allanea (Shoreline Pitch, Livingston)
MD06
off day (will be in Paradiso for training)
MD07
v Rittarstan (Ministry Fieldhouse, Paradiso)
MD08
v Starblaydia (TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD09
@ Nonesuch Street
MD10
v Hiiraan (Easten National Arena, Eastentown)
MD11
@ Melmond
MD12
@ Allanea
MD13
off day (may return to Cana for final training/prep)
MD14
@ Rittarstan

Sjwitz

21-02-2005, 00:01

From the Daily NewSjwitz:

Unsure Schmidt throws out 352!

As soon as the draw for the WC21 was completed, coach Steven Schmidt was asked for a reaction: "Well, at first sight, I'm guessing we should be trying to get into third place, but it will be hard, very hard. I mean, Commerce Heights, Eauz, The Eagle's Nest, those three are unreachable really. Slaikau, Talzeckia and Gibberovia are less known to me personally, but I've already ordered my scouts to check out the squads. So far none of the 6 teams has already given out a squad so we're not sure who we're playing really. But luckily we have to play Commerce Heights and Eauz first and you just know they're good, no matter who they'll be using for the match."

Coach Schmidt has a reputation of frequently using a 352 formation. During the recent Baptism of Fire cup however, the squad has played in various formations, from which 343 and 451 had some success. Has coach Schmidt already got the squad and formation in mind for the match against Commerce Heigths? "Yes, after the good matches in the BoF we've kept training and haven't split the group, the players have an "easy" week where i've let them enjoy the stay in South Osettia with their wives, girlfriends and other lovers but we've kept organising the trainings each day, increasing the trainingsintensity a little each day. We're now a jolly group, the spirit is really great and, most important of all, we've been creating some routine plays. The squad has improved greatly, but also changed in a few places since the BoF. I have a backup plan, but we'll try to minimize the loss against Commerce Heights with an "open 4-5-1" as I like to call it. 451 sounds really defensive on paper but the midfield is organised in such a way that we can really open up the team towards the flanks. I was really pleased with the offensive flanks during the BoF and therefore I've worked out this formation."

So it looks like coach Schmidt has yet again thrown overboard his 352 formation as in the last few matches, here's a graphical version of the formation Sjwitz should be playing in tomorrow, based on Coach Schmidt's explanation:

x

x x x x

x
<-- x x -->
<-- x x -->

x

Ofcourse we wondered if the names that would be filling those positions were already known: "Yup, you can have those also, it's not like hiding them will have an influence on how Commerce Heights will play tomorrow. In the goal, our number one keeper, which is still Frank Blurr. Defenders: Svensson, Hamm, Jolt and Steiger. These players have shown the best form during the last week, but as you can see the defence has changed a little since the BoF, not one of our defenders is a whole lot better than the rest so we could change a lot, then..."

So the times of the all Zalgiris Trinss defence are over?

"yes well they have some routines and know how to play on the field and sence where the other two are, but unfortunately we're playing a 4 or 5 man defence these days, not 3. That's why I broke up that "team" and just used the players who individually showed the best form and/or potential. So to go on with that midfield, in the center we've got Lucky Morrgh, completely healed and he gives the most precise passes so I had to use him. Then in front of him I've chosen for Stomp and DiLuciano, they make decent runs forward while holding the ball, they should be able to dribble their way past one or two guys and then pass it wide to Johnson or Sjwitzer or up front to our attacker..."

Roman Bingk?

"Well yes that would have seemed the logical option, but actually I'm planning on bringing him on during the second half. He's our best forward that's true but he's been flying over to Cockbill Street to conclude his transfer to the Jotneheim Mountains and he's lost a bit of form since. He's working on it though and should be in the starting eleven from Matchday Two. He's motivated for that too by the way, Sjwitz' first ever home match, all players are motivated. It will be difficult to win a point against Eauz, the best team in the group, based on ranking, but we will surely give everything we've got to please the home crowd. A big crowd by the way, all 23k tickets of the home arena of are sold out."

Doesn't the Bayer Skent home ground have 45k places?

"True, but that stadium is being expanded to about 72k so we'll have to play at another stadium, that will be the stadium of FC Rinûll. We're hoping the stadium in Skent will be finished before Matchday 4 so we can play our match there against The Eagle's Nest in front of a 70k+ crowd."

Ok so to get back on the formation, I think we still need the name of that forward?

"Oh yes indeed, I think Diederik Barosj is best up for the task since he's quite tall and I believe we can use his length in this new system. He's not that fast though, so we'll be working with a lot of long passes into the box probably, combined with shots from the edge of the penalty area from our midfielders, we've been training on those long distance shots very hard, especially DiLuciano, man has he got a shot, hopefully it works as good when it counts as when on training."

Ok well, good luck then, hopefully Sjwitz can make it to the finals

"That's our goal, but it'll be damn hard to achieve. We'll give it our 'bestest' shot though! *smiles*"

Ok thanks for the conversation.

To conclude, here is the formation, now with the names.

Blurr

Svensson Hamm Jolt Steiger

Morrgh
Stomp DiLuciano
Johnson Sjwitzer

Barosj

Starblaydia

21-02-2005, 00:01

Starblaydia have Six Appeal for World Cup
Favourites in a Qualification Group for the First Time

It all started twenty-four years ago when Starblaydia first came onto the International scene for World Cup 15; Nikola "Laser" Lazereski scored his first of a then-record fifteen goals for his country as Starblaydia were defeated 2-1 in Vilita. Twenty years after that game, Simeone Di Bradini presented the World Cup Trohpy to the Vilitans in The Hole, Druida. Now, nearly four years on from that glorious World Cup triumph, Starblaydia begin the long slog of Qualification to reach Cockbill Street and Lethislavania. This time, however, Starblaydia are odds-on favourites to go straight through to the Finals from their Qualifying group.

With what should be an obesity crisis in Second-Favourites Melmond from all those Fries and Ketchup they consume, their national team still seem athletic enough to give Starblaydia a real fight for this Group. Starblaydia haven't faced Melmond for, what, Sixteen Years? Even then we've only played them once, revenge is still on the cards as they denied us a Semi-Final in our First Ever(TM) World Cup. Former Melmondian Premier League Midfielder of the Year Winner, Jerome Montefalcon, leads the Starblaydi assault this time out as he comes into his fourth World Cup attempt. The Cali Purples midfielder may just give Starblaydia that cutting edge as he goes up against many of his team-mates and opponents from Melmond's highest league.

Speaking of Players of the Year, Syku Lyku-Agbayani swept all competitors aside in the 13th Vilitan Stellar Division, getting a massive five awards in the annual ceremonies. For more information on the half-Starblaydi, half-Rejistanian, click on his Wiki Article (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Syku_Lyku-Agbayani). Young Syku will line up against slightly-less-young Darius Belizaire, who, with 21 international goals to his name, could be on-course to break Simeone Di Bradini's scoring records, as even the great man had only managed 11 by the time he was Twenty-Four.

Leading the pack for the Play-off Spots is Hiiraan, an up-and-coming (though some wish they were off-and-going) team who have been threatening for a while now. Threatening what, we're not quite sure, but certainly threatening. A Matchday 14 showdown could be on the cards should either of our teams find themselves in a place above or below where they should be.

Threatening Hiiraan for those Play-Off spots are Nonesuch Street and Chicanada. Anyone descended from rivals Cockbill Street deserves a good kicking. Lets hope Starblaydia give them what they deserve. Chicanada, on the other hand, could be a real surprise in this Group and might even snatch a play-off spot from the Nonesuchers. Playing some lovely football on the way to a Second-Place finish in the Baptism of Fire for this Cup, Chicanada are not to be underestimated in their desires for Football Glory.

Finally come Allanea and Rittarstan, neither of whom impressed much in the Baptism of Fire, unlike Chicanada. Allanea come with more-than-a-little non-footballing reputation, while Rittarstan are ripe for a slaughter, having struggled to win their single point from the BoF.

Starblaydia's Schedule
H Chicanada
A Allanea
H Rittarstan
- Bye
H Melmond
A Nonesuch Street
H Hiiraan
A Chicanada
H Allanea
A Rittarstan
- Bye
A Melmond
H Nonesuch Street
A Hiiraan

[OOC: Yes, Chicanada, it's a 'classic' 4-4-2 Midfield-Diamond formation.]

Eauz

21-02-2005, 00:17

World Cup 21 Preview

Despite, the Eauz/Kry bid to host the 21st world cup of Nationstates, Les Bleus are back in form, and hoping to improve on their chances from the last cup. Eauz gets drawn into group 9, where there are few familiar names. Commerce Heights and The Eagles Nest have a long history with Eauz, with one having a winning record against Eauz and the other a losing record. The Evil Capitalizts from Commerce Heights have a 3 – 0 – 0 record against Eauz. Every time a CH citizen meets up with an Eauz citizen, they always have a conversation about pwning Eauz. Alas, coach Joseuf has declared that his team will ensure to win 2 matches against Commerce Heights. As for The Eagles Nest, it appears that Les Bleus still have an unbeaten streak against this team. TEN would love to get a victory against Eauz, and came close during the group stage of the cup, when they tied Eauz 1 – 1.

Les Bleus will be sporting about the same team as last cup, with a few changes to come in the future. This will also be the first cup in a few, since the Rejis/Eauz rivalry will not occur. Fans were disappointed to find out that they could not get tickets. As for the other teams in the group, Eauz has never really heard of these teams, but they have learned from the past that it is better to not exclude them or count them out. With the Curse of Margaret still alive and well, and the curse of “capitalizm”, Eauz will be having a tough time qualifying in this group, but coach Joseuf has declared that they will be back in the cup without a problem.

Group 9
Eauz
Commerce Heights
The Eagles Nest
Slaikau
Talzeckia
Sjwitz
Gibberovia

Match Day 1: Eauz vs. Talzeckia
Match Day 2: Sjwitz vs. Eauz
Match Day 3: Eauz vs. Gibberovia
Match Day 4: Bye Period
Match Day 5: Eauz vs. Commerce Heights
Match Day 6: Slaikau vs. Eauz
Match Day 7: Eauz vs. The Eagles Nest

Match Day 8: Talzeckia vs. Eauz
Match Day 9: Eauz vs. Sjwitz
Match Day 10: Gibberovia vs. Eauz
Match Day 11: Bye Period
Match Day 12: Commerce Heights vs. Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz vs. Slaikau
Match Day 14:The Eagles Nest vs. Eauz

Hiiraan

21-02-2005, 01:42

Qualification Time.
Hiiraan See's The Chance To Get To The World Cup.

Today, in wide Conference, There was a press Conference announcing this years Schedule and the World Cup groups, Likely, Hiiraan has sought the chance and was randomly chosen to be in favorable group. Group 6 is now packed with chicanda and the two favorites to get #1, Melmond and Starblydia. Hiiraan although predicted to be at #3 at the End of the 14 days of matches will try to steal #2 or even go for the top spot and close out the qualification with wide mouths.

The Hiiraanian team is packed with talent, including the recently promoted Mustafa Khallid, a Player who dominated the U21 spot for years. Joining Mustafa will be other players who have become veterans, including team captain Abdiqaadir Umar Ibraahim who recently have been awarded the best Hiiraanian midfielder of the year award, However the real threat to Starblydia, Chicanda, and the Mellies will be The African Player of the year Muuse Ali Bilaal who single handedly became the mast valuable Hiiraanian player in the History of League Sare, he was also sold to the Muduq athletics for a sounding price of 4.6 million shillin for over a period of 3 years. There is only one word to describe the Hiiraanian players this year and that is fit and ready for duty.

Many men have came and went in the Hiiraanian Football scene, however Head Coach Mohamed Luure has stayed in the Hiiraanian fixture for over a period of 10 years, becoming the African player of the year back when he was in the Somalialand player of the year. He is yet to say when he will retire, he also faced challenges and made name for his Associates and players. Mr. Luure, like many Hiiraanians has clearly said his intentions to qualify and go beyond qualifications.

Right after the Groups were released, players were introduced to the WC21 Schedule, a Schedule that Many Hiiraanians looked at with Happiness some even saying "The Schedule is Very, very helpful to our way to at least qualify for the cup." The Schedule will be listed on the Bottom of this paper.

"We have talked a lot, now lets see ourselves and lets see our players do the job" said Mr. Luure as he was doing his daily press conference "we are happy that we have the opportunity to go to the world cup" he added noting that some journalists were not looking for the Hiiraanian players.

The Team is now at Camp Alpha as they wait for the new team 'Rittarstan' to arrive for competition.

Schedule:

MD01: Rittarstan
MD02: No Game
MD03: Chicanda
MD04: Allanea
MD05: Nonsuch Streets
MD06: Melmond
MD07: @Starblaydia
MD08: @Rittarstan
MD09: No Game
MD10: @Chicanda
MD11: Allanea
MD12: @Nonsuch Streets
MD13: @ Melmond
MD14: Starblydia

Praying2God

21-02-2005, 02:55

WORLD CUP XXI PREVIEW

The Praying2God Warriors have reason to be cautiously optimistic after the draw for WC XXI. Each group for WWC XXI will have 7 teams, with the top two automatically going through and the 12 third place teams playing home and home matches against another third place team to determine the other qualifiers. The Warriors could contend for third place in their group, and potentially could surprise some people. Here's who the Warriors will be trying to qualify against.

Turori (ranked 8th): A very good team whose nation is closely allied with the defending WC Champions for Vilita. They are the group favorites, and almost assuredly will qualify for another WC finals appearance. They will be tough for the Warriors to take any points against.

Adam Island (29th): A side that surprised people a few WCs ago. This will likely be a make-or-break WC for them. They will certainly be in contention for the last two qualifying positions, and potentially could make a run at Turori. The Warriors should be able to hang with them pretty well, just don't expect a Jerusalem-like production against this team.

Tadjikistan (30th): A consistently underachieving side, who might struggle in this group more than they should, but they still should be in the battle for a qualifying spot. It would not be surprising if this in Jerusalem for the Warriors in this WC.

Giant Zucchini (62nd): A renowned name in international soccer. Some time off has dropped them to the rank right in front of the Warriors. The matches between these two, beginning in the Warriors' opener, should be some of the best matches in the qualifying round. They could potentially be in contention for a qualifying spot.

Praying2God (63rd): That's right, the 29th and 30th and 62nd and 63rd ranked teams ended up in the same group. This group should certainly be filled with very close matches. The Warriors will likely make a run at qualifying, but in all likelihood come up a little short.

Gilgrado (116th): Who? This must be a newer side, because us in the Praying2God media have never heard of this team. The Warriors should sweep them, but they can't take anything for granted, or they might get upset.

Seton Rebel (150th): A true beginner in the world of international soccer, just like our friends from Everlasting Friendship. They should be the bottom feeders in this group, but they could wreck somebody's chance to qualify if they aren't careful, including the Warriors.

So there you have it...those six other teams are who the Warriors will be doing battle against for two guaranteed positions in the WC XXI finals and potentially a third. Head Coach Paul Johnson is not making any public comments as to how he expects the Warriors to do, which is not surprising for those of us who know him. Diehard Warriors fans will be thrilled to know that the scoundrels from South Osettia stand absolutely no chance of qualifying, as they were drawn into a group with Bedistan, Kaze Progressa, Liverpool England, and The Weegies, along with a couple of other sides.

Everlasting Friendship

21-02-2005, 03:36

Larry the Tomato (LT): Welcome all you Veggies lovers! We're coming to you live from the draw for WC XXI, our beloved Veggies first appearance in the prestigious WC. Our friends from Praying2God made a successful return after a long absence in WC XX, and we figured that we could make a halfway decent showing in WC XXI. Joining me is Bob the Cucumber.

Bob the Cucumber (BC): I also extend a warm welcome to all Veggies lovers watching us today. The draw has just concluded, and our friends from Praying2God will think that our group looks a little familiar, as two of the other six teams in the Veggies' group were in the Warriors' group in WC XX.

LT: Who is in the Veggies' group, Bob?

BC: First off, we have WC XIX Champion, and currently ranked seventh in the world, Crystilakere. They had their way with the Warriors in WC XX, winning both matches convincingly, and they should do the same against us.

LT: That's not good. :(

BC: It doesn't get much better, as this group is going to be very tough for the best teams, never mind us...Next up is The Lowland Clans. They are ranked just outside of the top 20, and should easily qualify, but they will have to fight harder than Crystilakere. However, they should still stew us twice during qualifying.

LT: Ouch.

BC: Then, there's Sarzonia. They played against Praying2God in the WC of Basketball, but they're a pretty good nation in soccer too, as they are currently ranked 26th in the world. They should be in the thick of the qualifying race.

LT: Ewww... :headbang:

BC: Then, there's Legalese. While, only ranked 37th, they should still have their way with us. However, they likely will end up on the outside looking in at the end of qualifying.

LT: That's not so bad...Praying2God beat them in WC XX. :)

BC: After that, there's a big drop off to San Verdi, who are ranked 96th in the world. They are a side that we don't know a whole lot about, but we have heard of them before.

LT: We might be able to earn some points against them.

BC: Lastly, there's Murflonia, who are ranked 116th in the world. We don't really know anything about them, but I think they played in the BoF tournament that concluded not too long ago.

LT: Things don't look good for us... :( How many points do you think we'll earn?

BC: We should be really happy if the Veggies earn five points in qualifying during WC XXI. We'll probably struggle for a while before becoming anything remotely resembling a soccer power. Here's the Veggies' schedule for those who want to see it.

**a graphic appears on the screen with the following information**

at Sarzonia (26)
vs. The Lowland Clans (21)
at Crystilakere (7)
vs. Legalese (37)
Idle
vs. Murflonia (116)
at San Verdi (96)
vs. Sarzonia (26)
at The Lowland Clans (21)
vs. Crystilakere (7)
at Legalese (37)
Idle
at Murflonia (116)
vs. San Verdi (96)

BC: That's all we have time for today. We'll be back throughout the WC to bring you updates on the Veggies' progress.

Melmond

21-02-2005, 04:17

State of Football in Melmond
Bixler Under Fire
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald for the NationStates Football World

It is so hard to believe it was sixteen years ago since Melmond manager David Bixler was the toast of not only the Melmond footballing community, but the entire Melmondian sports world. After four disappointing World Cup tries being managed by the late Melmondian football pioneer Felix Coostatlwak the first three times and by the only ever foreign manager the Fearless Farmers ever had, Gerry Cheevers, for the very disappointing fourth try at qualifying for the World Cup. Cheevers was fire before the Cup of Harmony corresponding with World Cup 16 started. David Bixler, four years removed from actually playing for the national team, now found himself the interim manager. With Bixler’s enthusiastic and aggressive managing style, the Fearless Farmers not only were good, but pretty dominant as shown with three-nil blowouts of Liverpool England and The Weegies. Melmond only missed out in penalty kicks in terms of winning their second Cup of Harmony as they barely lost to The Belmore Family. After that impressive performance, Bixler was quickly named the next manager of the Melmond National Team. However, more impressive things have yet to come. The Fearless Farmers cinched up their first every qualifying spot for the World Cup quite early, and in their first World Cup appearance, World Cup 17 in Kaze Progressa and Vilita. Melmond finished second in their group, which worked in their favor as instead of playing eventual World Cup champions Rejistania in the first round, they took on familiar rivals Svecia in the first round and were victorious in their next matchup against fellow World Cup newcomer Starblaydia in the quarterfinals. However, they finally did meet Rejistania, and lost a heartbreaker 2-1 where the Tim Remans header which beat the goalkeeper to tie the match hit the goalpost. However, Melmond did cement their place in history with a third place finish, a 4-3 victory over Liverpool England.
However, since that high point, the Fearless Farmers haven’t been nearly as impressive. Qualifying has been a breeze for the side, but their play in the World Cup final has been less than desired. In World Cup 18, the Fearless Farmers missed out on the knockout rounds by only scoring fewer goals than host nation Bedistan. Melmond only lost to one team in World Cup 19, unfortunately that team was eventually champion Crystilakere, which beat Melmond twice in one goal affairs, once in group play and once in the Round of 16. World Cup 20 brought renewed optimism and Melmond once again made it to the knockout rounds of the World Cup, but fell 2-1 in another close match against Total n Utter Insanity. The Melmond Football Association has appreciated Bixler’s prior successes, but as you know, the sports world is always “What have you done for me lately?” Bixler needs to show what he can do right now.
What the Melmond Premier League is doing right now is continuing to be quite possibly the strongest domestic league in the world. Sticking to only 16 clubs has proven very beneficial in Melmond as the talent has been packed into these 16 clubs, not to mention the influx of foreign talent Melmond attracts. Two cities, Faasen and Bezrukova, have built football specific stadiums due to the success of their hometown clubs, Faasen Oranges and Bezrukova Turquoises. There are some rumours swirling around about another possible World Cup bid for Melmond, or possibly doing a revised version of the Melmond Club Eliminational Invitational without the eliminational part.
Anyway, back to the subject of the national team, what does David Bixler have to employ this time around? Let us first look at the losses. Three starters and two reserves from the team from the last World Cup have made their international retirements. David Bixler will certainly miss the boisterous and physical play of Veronica Dean, the opportunist midfielder Peeko Noodleschlausen, and the flamboyant natural striker Tim Remans. However, there are a couple of young players who have looked very promising on the attack front. Bob Fillyfoo, who plays for Wzkknfs Hnyd Pinks, has looked very impressive and the 21 year old has earned a starting spot on the team taking Noodleschlausen’s position. Striker continues to be a deep position for the Fearless Farmers. Veteran strikers Lave Serna and Jamie Prior still find themselves on the bench despite their immense skills. First, it was Gene MacDougall taking a starting spot from one of the veterans, and now it is the latest of the Unne progeny, striker Debora Unne. Debora Unne is the daughter of former Melmondian striker Diallo Unne, who was nicknamed “the Dagger” for his penchant for clutch goals. Debora does have her dad’s immense strength and is said to really be a Bixler kind of player, i.e. aggressive. Goalkeeper Alex McCarthy has proven to be a solid international goalkeeper and hopefully he can get up to a level even near comparison to the great Snhp Xtfuinxm. This is what David Bixler has to employ this time around. Melmond better greatly improve their rank and performances or this manager under fire will just be plain fired.

Oliverry

21-02-2005, 04:42

Oliverrian team ready for some soccer action

"The team is not the best one but it looks ok" said coach Francois Renommé. This team will need to play very good soccer to win support, since in Oliverry, soccer isn't very popular compared to hockey and American Football. We have gone in the population to know what they are thinking about the World cup. Everybody knows that there is a World Cup of Soccer but nobody knows that the nation is ranked 120th in the world. Oliverry was today drawn in group 8 for the World Cup XX1 qualifications. Here are the teams that are in the group:
-Bedistan
-Kaze Progressa
-Liverpool England
-The Weegies
-South Osettia
-Oliverry
-Pubiconia

Here's Oliverrian schedule:
MD01: vs Kaze Progressa
MD02: @ Bedistan
MD03: vs The Weegies
MD04: @ Liverpool England
MD05: vs South Ossetia
MD06: vs Pubiconia
MD07: (Bye)
MD08: @ Kaze Progressa
MD09: vs Bedistan
MD10: @ The Weegies
MD11: vs Liverpool England
MD12: @ South Ossetia
MD13: @ Pubiconia
MD14: (Bye)

Melmond

21-02-2005, 05:46

Melmond Draws Group 6: Reaction
By Jay Ununne of the Unne Sun-Times

There are always perks to dropping in ranking. For example, when a side drops in ranking, they are drawn in a lower pot, which means that they will take on stronger and possibly more colorful opponents in the qualifying rounds. In this case, there is no exception as finally the Fearless Farmers look to have fun while on their way to qualify for World Cup 21 in Cockbill Street and Lethislavania. Remember in this World Cup, the teams that finish first and second automatically qualify, and the third place finisher goes in a home and home playoff.

Starblaydia, along with Melmond, are by far the class of this qualifying group. The Starblaydis can’t seem to get past the quarterfinals, and Melmond is one of the sides which kept them from the semifinals way back in that glorious World Cup 17. They will look for revenge from so long ago. Both matches should be very entertaining.

Hiiraan, a side which has been known for its FA leader making statements which alienate the footballing community more than their play, look to finally make their statement that they are ready to stake their claim in a higher echelon. However, this side may be all talk and little talent. We will find out.

There is a more talented side than Nonesuch Street in a lower drawing pot. However, we shouldn’t play this side down too much as they were able to upset our Fearless Farmers in the last World Cup session.

A team that can really surprise is the second place finisher of the Baptism of Fire tournament Chicanada. The Kodiaks, as they call themselves, certainly do seem to have the panache and the talent to possibly make a run at qualifying for the World Cup, probably via the playoff route.

The caliber of play really drops of when we start talking about Allanea. This nation is more known for a journalistic style more Melmondic than Melmond’s than their football capability. They will get some points in this group because of…

Rittarstan! By far this team is a leading candidate for the wooden spoon not only in this group, but for quite possibly the entire World Cup. They only got one point in the Baptism of Fire. All the teams should wipe the floor with this side.

The Prediction
1. Melmond
2. Starblaydia
3. Chicanada
4. Hiiraan
5. Nonesuch Street
6. Allanea
7. Rittarstan

Melmond National Team Schedule

v Allanea (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Rittarstan
BYE
@ Chicanada
@ Starblaydia
@ Hiiraan
v Nonesuch Street (Frankndottir Stadiun, Acosta)
@ Allanea
v Rittarstan (Makinshakes Stadium, O’Connor)
BYE
v Chicanada (Anachronism Park, Cali)
v Starblaydia (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
v Hiiraan (Microcosm Football Colossuseum, Aldi)
@ Nonesuch Street

Next Game
vs. Allanea (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)

Usually in these debut matches against rather easy sides, we try to downplay the fact that the Fearless Farmers may not win if they aren’t careful. However in this case, it’s a foregone conclusion. Even if a runaway moose invasion ridden by Margarets happen, there isn’t any way that the Fearless Farmers will lose to a minnow such as Allanea in one of the most intimidating places for a visitor to play, the revamped again Feliz-Unne Stadiums, where the Fearless Farmer faithful literally breathes on your neck. This is a good match to improve that key goal differential status. Here is Manager David Bixler’s starting lineup, which features three members of local club side Unne Yellows.

GK- Alex McCarthy
D- Notint Hecloset
D- Maxwell Wong
D- Charles Unne
D- Laola Saenu
M- Bob Fillyfoo
M- Martin Goodwin Jr.
M- Pauline Hulme
M- Jake Cormier
F- Gene MacDougall
F- Debora Unne

Feliz-Unne Stadium
Location: Unne, Melmond
Seats: 48,000 (Open Air)

The city of Unne is Melmond’s third largest city and is said to be the most fashionable city in the nation. The city was named after the famous Dr. Unne, in which Melmondian legend claims that he taught the Light Warriors an ancient language which helped rid the world from Chaos (the evil being, not the concept). Descendants of the Unne family make their home in Unne and are a sort of unofficial royalty in Melmond. Five members of the Unne family: Critandi, Gina, Diallo, Charles, and Debora have played for the Fearless Farmers. Feliz-Unne Stadium is one of the first football-specific stadiums in Melmond as it was built due to the success Melmond had in the Cup of Harmony also along with success the Unne Yellows club team had early on in the footballing history of Melmond. They expanded the smaller Feliz Stadium by 30,000 seats. It was funded by the Unne family, hence the name. Seats are almost right on top of the pitch, and in the humid climate of Unne, it can make opponents claustrophobic. This also makes it a large yet intimate venue for world class football. Some of the closer seats to the pitch actually retract in to make room for the track field which is around the stadium. Some of the old section of the stadium was maintained and is an excellent spot to watch the match. Unfortunately, part of the stadium was destroyed not by socialist invaders, but rather one angry giant evil spider named Bob. Fortunately, the stadium was able to be rebuilt to its original form, but it has lost some of its original charm as some of the parts which were from the original Feliz stadium were destroyed by the giant evil spider. Tickets are hopelessly sold out! The first 5,000 kids in the stadium get a stuffed animal version of Bob the Giant Evil Spider who spits out silly string! Fun!

Legalese

21-02-2005, 06:46

LSPN News Wire: Legalese to join Group 2

-Legalese Men's National Team Manager Robbie Heard will have a little more time to finalize his roster for the World Cup XXI Qualifiers, after Legalese is drawn into group 2, which includes three fellow Atlantican Oceanians. The 7-team group, which will send the top two teams to the Finals in Cockbill Street/Lethislavania, as well as the third team to a playoff, consists of World Cup XIX Champions Crystilakere; Cup of Harmony X Champion (and old regional rival) Sarzonia; Bekkside mate The Lowland Clans; as well as three non-AO nations. Legalese will start qualifying in the second slate of matches, having been scheduled to have the first matchday off. More news to come later.

South Osettia

21-02-2005, 11:42

“We’ve got a problem.”

“Haven’t we always?” The corridors of the World Cup department were always a dangerous place to walk, even more so during the World Cup. WCC Emmett Devoll probably should have known that by now, but still somehow managed to end up being pounced on by people with new problems to add to his already insurmountable in-tray. This time it was WCPO Cathy Stewbart. “Well, sock it to me then.”

“I just got told by Steve Price - ”

“Of the SO Times?”

“Of the SO Times, that one of our guys is gonna publicly demand a wage increase for taking part in the World Cup.”

“Isn’t that up to the guy’s club? Alright, who is it?”

“That’s the problem…we don’t know.” Emmett stopped walking.

“We don’t know?”

“No. Price didn’t want to tell me because it would disclose the identity of his source.”

“So why are you coming to me with this? And besides, public demands never get anywhere.”

“Not normally, but Price said that the guy’s gonna pull out if he doesn’t get a raise.”

“Whatever happened to the honour of playing for your country?”

“I think it went out with the trash along with World Cup success.” By this time they had reached Emmett’s office, and he stood in the doorway to bar further progression from Cathy, meaning that the conversation was coming to an abrupt end.

“Okay, get Tom on the case, and don’t come back to me without something solid.”

“You’re the chief, Chief.” Cathy walked away, her stiletto heels tapping on the wood floor. Emmett waited until he couldn’t hear her anymore before turning into his office.

“Right, where’s the coffee?”

***

Tom Patterson was a prickly man at the best of times – and this definitely wasn’t the best of times.

“I don’t care if you have to borrow your clown uncle’s unicycle to get here, just get here!” He slammed down the phone just as Cathy walked through the door.

“What was that about?” He looked up, as if he’d just noticed she was there.

“I was ordering a sandwich.”

“Do you have to shout at the sandwich guy every time you order?”

“You have to show these people who’s in charge, or they’ll…they’ll…”

“Give you extra gherkins?”

“Yes – I hate that. Now, what did you wanna talk about?”

“I just got a tip from Simon Price - ”

“Of the SO Times?”

“Of the SO Times, that one of our guys is gonna publicly demand a wage increase for taking part in the World Cup.”

“Great! Send him a cookie and a pat on the back.”

“I think he’s gonna want a bit more than that.”

“What do they expect? It’s supposed to be an honour to play for your country. You shouldn’t get extra pay for taking up an honour. I wouldn’t ask for extra pay!” Cathy’s left eyebrow raised a couple of millimeters. “Okay, I would, but I wouldn’t expect to get anything. Give me this guy’s name, I’ll sort him out.”

“That’s the problem. Price didn’t want to tell me because it would disclose the identity of his source.”

“What the hell’s that all about?”

“Journalists’ code of conduct, or something like that.”

“Right…so it’s okay to print articles about celebrities’ cellulite, but when it comes to naming sources, that’s a no-no? Where do these jerks get off?”

“Journalists are a phenomenon.”

“They’re a waste of space, is what they are! Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Don’t ever tell me that I don’t appreciate you Thomas.” Cathy began the long walk back to her office, with the words of Tom trailing behind her.

“Don’t call me that!”

***

“So what do you think our chances are?”

“Polly, do you really have nothing important to do like…I don’t know…annoy someone else?” Emmett rarely listened to any of Polly’s questions, and on the even more rare occasion that he answered, it was usually something along the lines of ‘be quiet’, ‘go away’ or ‘do me a favour and get some coffee’.

“No, I scheduled everything for the morning, so I’ve got the whole afternoon free to annoy you.”

“Great, that’s just…great.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I know, I chose not to.”

“What do you think our chances are!?!”

“Of finishing third? Nonexistent. Of finishing last? Unlikely. Of finishing somewhere in between? Near certain. Does that answer your question?”

“Once again, the thoroughness of your answer astounds me.”

“Why thank you, I’ve been practicing.” Polly smiled sarcastically and got back to reading a memo. After a few seconds her face dropped. “Ubuloy wants to meet you.” Emmett looked up from his laptop.

“What? Give me that.” He plucked the memo out of Polly’s hands and read it through slowly. “Six-thirty tomorrow outside the Capitol Building. What the hell does he want?” Just then Hugh walked through the door, interrupting Emmett’s thoughts.

“Hey, the group draw’s just been done.” Emmett turned back to Polly, who had already snatched back the memo and was perusing its contents again.

“See Polly, this is going to be the highlight of my day – finding out what new and exciting teams we’re up against. What new and exciting teams are we up against Hugh?”

“Bedistan, Kaze Progressa, Liverpool England - ”

“See Polly, this is going to be the lowlight of my day - ”

“It gets better! The Weegies, us, Oliverry and Pubiconia.”

“Pubiconia?”

“Yeah, I’m having trouble saying it without laughing too.”

“We’ve got to get that into Cathy’s press report as many times as possible. Get Danny on that.” Danny was Emmett’s deputy, but was usually given the task of writing press reports, due to the fact that he mostly had very little to do in the way of actual work, and often sat in his office throwing wads of paper into his wastepaper basket.

“We should have no trouble in finishing fifth, as both Oliverry and…the aforementioned nation…are ranked 120th whilst we are ranked 56th.”

“That’s a gap of 64 ranks.”

“Exactly, so we should be able to front an assault on the top four whilst not having to worry about our behind.”

“Especially with Pubiconia back there. So who are we playing first?”

“I’m expecting an e-mail with the schedule through any minute now. Obviously I need to get back to my office if I am to retrieve it before one of my assistants steals it and make an airplane out of it.” He saw the funny look that Emmett gave him. “Don’t ask.”

***

“Danny!” Cathy pushed the office door so hard that it slammed into the wall behind it. Danny looked up from his work, knowing what was coming but trying not to laugh.

“Come in.” Cathy threw a piece of paper onto his desk. “Today’s press report?”

“Yeah! The press was in stitches! How could you do that to me? I thought we had a special bond.”

“I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.” Cathy picked up the report and skimmed through it, as if looking for a particular line.

“The nation of Pubiconia is one we have never met before, and whilst we will do our best against Pubiconia, Pubiconia could possibly be a dangerous team for us, and so we will treat the team from Pubiconia with the respect that any team, especially that of Pubiconia, deserves, and we hope that the people of Pubiconia will extend us the same courtesy.”

“Maybe that could have been written a little better.”

“There were twenty-two uses of the word Pubiconia in a forty-five second press report! What the hell were you thinking!?!”

“It was Emmett’s idea!”

“Well I’m making Rice Krispies Treats tomorrow, and guess who isn’t going to get any.”

“Me and Emmett?”

“You can bet your arse on that.” Cathy left, but then a few seconds later reappeared. “And Pubiconia isn’t even that funny!”

***

Hugh stuck his head back round the door.

"I got there just in time. Billy was about to start folding it." He handed the fax to Emmett, who read it through carefully:

MD1: Bedistan (A)
MD2: The Weegies (H)
MD3: Liverpool England (A)
MD4: Kaze Progressa (H)
MD5: Oliverry (H)
MD6: ---------------------
MD7: Pubiconia (H)
MD8: Bedistan (H)
MD9: The Weegies (A)
MD10: Liverpool England (H)
MD11: Kaze Progressa (A)
MD12: Oliverry (A)
MD13: ---------------------
MD14: Pubiconia (A)

"Looks like we got a date at Bedistan. Their place, fine meal, some soft music and a whole lot of beating for us."

"See you there, Chief."

Druida

21-02-2005, 12:53

The Daily Druid

RAINBOWS IN GROUP OF PUPPETS
Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po reports

The Druida rainbows have been drawn in qualifying group 12 in their bid to reach Cockbill Street and Lethislavania. Looking at the group, it seems quite easy to predict, with the Rainbows and top seeds the Insanicians by far and away the best two teams in the group. Indeed, most observers will have noticed that four of the seven teams in the group are indeed run from abroad. Oddslavo has links with Liverpool England, Finrods is associated with Lovisa, Obsessed Muse Groupies sound like they could be some kind of Melmond splinter group, whilst Ravipa are... well, they're definately from somewhere.

Our surprise tip too see off that lot and clinch a play-off berth, though, is the new boys from Naglagrad. After a promising Baptism of Fire tournament, finishing in third place, they look ready enough to take on the world. Or at least, the bits they're going to play against. Remember, kids, Druida didn't even make it out of the group stage in their BoF, and still made it to the finals at their first attempt.

And Naglegrad is where the rainbows will be heading off to first of all. A good test to see just how far both nations might go in the group. The Druida Rainbows' schedule in full is as follows.

MD01: Naglegrad (a)
MD02: Obsessed Muse Groupies (a)
MD03: Day off! Woohoo!!!
MD04: Ratvipa (a)
MD05: Total n Utter Insanity (a)
MD06: Oddslavo (a)
MD07: Finrods (h)
MD08: Naglegrad (h)
MD09: Obsessed Muse Groupies (h)
MD10: The rainbows go on holiday.
MD11: Ratvipa (h)
MD12: Total n Utter Insanity (h)
MD13: Oddslavo (h)
MD14: Finrods (a)

And now: Druidan stat attack!

As Druida

Biggest wins: Big Pimento 0-6 Druida (AOCAF5, Legalese)
Taokoualu 0-5 Druida (WC19 Qual.)
Biggest defeats: Druida 1-5 Sarzonia (AOCAF 5)
Druida 0-4 The Latin Union (PreWC18BoF)
Audioslavia 4-0 Druida (WC18 Qual.)
Krytenia 4-0 Druida (WC19 Qual.)

Most successive… Wins 4 (WC19 Qual.)
Draws 1
Losses 5 (AOCAF5)
Clean sheets 4 (WC19 Qual.)
Scoring games 7 (AOCAF3-Pre WC18 BoF & WC19 Qual.)

Most games without... a Win 5 (AOCAF5)
a Draw 9 (AOCAF3-Pre WC18 BoF)
a Loss 4 (WC18 Qual. & WC19 Qual.)
Scoring 3 (AOCAF6-WC20)
a Clean sheet 9 (AOCAF6-present)

Biggest shock: Druida (109) 2-1 Audioslavia (6) (WC18 Qual.)

Overall record: Pl 73 W 31 D 12 L 30 GF 107 GA 115 Pts 105 GD -8

Combined Druidish lands records

Biggest win: Big Pimento 0-6 Druida (AOCAF5, Legalese)
Biggest defeats: Iansisle 6-1 NEWI Cefn Druids (CoH3, Brazillico)

Most successive… Wins 10 (NCD, WC18 Qual.)
Draws 3
Losses 8 (NCD, WC11 Qual.-CoH3)
Clean sheets 4 (NCD, CoH6 & WC18 Qual.
(Druida, WC19 Qual.)
Scoring games 27 (NCD WC17 Qual.-WC17)

Most games without… a Win 18 (NCD, WC11 Qual.-CoH8)*
a Draw 31 (NCd, TEC4-WC19)
a Loss 13 (WC15 Qual.-WC15)
Scoring 3 (four times overall)
a Clean sheet 9 (four times overall)

Biggest shocks: Druida (109) 2-1 Audioslavia (6) (WC18 Qual.)
NEWI Cefn Druids (93) 1-0 Halfassedstates (13) (Wc12 Qual.)
NEWI Cefn Druids (73) 2-0 Audioslavia (2) (WC13 Qual.)

Overall record (NCD, FCD & Druida):

Pl W D L GF GA Pts GD
346 178 63 105 548 415 597 +133

Druidish teams against Group 12 opponents:

Total n Utter Insanity 1-0 NEWI Cefn Druids (The Eagle's Cup I)
NEWI Cefn Druids 2-1 Total n Utter Insanity (The Eagle's Cup I)

No full Druidish team has ever played any of the other five teams in the group.

* (It is thought that this is still a NationStates record.
Any corrections to this would be more than gratefully listened to.)

Nova Britannicus

21-02-2005, 14:46

Pirates, 'Slaves and Navy-Blues
J-P G-R: "We can go to our third World Cup"

The players, fans and footballing officials of Nova Britannicus seemed pleased today with their nation's draw for the Qualifiers of World Cup 21 in Cockbill Street and Lethislavania. Although the Navy-Blues will be sending a relatively new-look, inexperienced team, expectations are high that Nova Britanncius will make the not-so-long trip down to the Street and the Leth...

"Hey!" The NBFA (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Nova_Britannicus_Football_Association) Guard rustled his newspaper. "Give over reading above me shoulder would ya, Charlie?"

"Sorry, George," Charles 'Charlie' Worsley said, "I didn't catch the Group Draw on the radio."

"Oh," the Guard said, "we got Audioslavia, Kyle Minogue, Half-heard, Icy Ocean, some Funny Looking People and Sonnuvagun."

"Sounds good, George," Charlie said, hurrying off to get the real list of teams from the lobby's newspaper stand. "An NB News," he said, "and a receipt." Nothing beats charging expenses, however small, to the Association.

"Paper's free," the vendor replied, "but the receipt'll cost ya fifty pence."

"Oi, cheeky," Charlie said, pointing to the man and handing over his coins with a smile, "I won't ask for a receipt next time."

"Looks like price of newspapers is about to go up, then," the man chuckled as Charlie walked away to get to his office.

Nova Britannicus' match schedule
H Funny Looking Islands
A Sonaron
- Bye
A Oceaice
A Audioslavia
A Kylaai
H Haperd
A Funny Looking Islands
H Sonaron
- Bye
H Oceaice
H Audioslavia
H Kylaai
A Haperd

Totally Useless Liars

21-02-2005, 15:02

YESTERDAY'S CODSWALLOP
Circulation: 1,337,000,000,000,000,094

HONEST MEN MISSED OUT OF WORLD CUP DRAW
By The Way

There was an outrage last night, as the nation of Totally Useless Liars was quite blatantly missed out completely from the draw for the qualifyers for World Cup 21.

The name Totally Useless Liars is even more obviously not written in Group 11, along with the utterly useless Rejistanians, new team Svecia, top Rpers Wella, the only away team from the recent Jurrasic Invitational Tournament Raptor Claw, Pterodactyl, that isn't linked to Raptor Claw in any way shape or form whatsoever, and Moleland, the only all-human team in the group.

The TUL team, for which there are no players, will not play any home games whatsoever. All away games will be at the all-seater 3-piece-suite in Tiny City.

Funny Looking Islands

21-02-2005, 15:55

Islanders ready to go

The Colony of Funny Looking Islands' team for the World Cup concluded there first training session today before the world cup qualifying stages begin. The Islanders come into the cup on a good wave after the same team finished forth in the Baptism of Fire tornument. The Islanders have a full strenght squad with hitman Johns just revovering from a ankle sprain. Head Coach, John Burgandy, said that "training went very well and all the players are quite optamistic about the teams chances of qualifying for the World Cup proper". When asked about the team experienced enough he claimed that "this is nonsence. We had a great Baptism of Fire tornument and I can guarantee you that Audioslavia, Kylaai or anyone in our group for that matter will not be taking the games against us for granted".

Group 4
Audioslavia
Nova Britannicus
Kylaai
Haperd
Oceaice
Funny Looking Islands
Sonaron

Cockbill Street

21-02-2005, 16:53

Matchday 1 qualifying scores are now up:

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8257469&postcount=2

Home team on left. Any queries, please post them in the discussion thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=293066&goto=lastpost)

With every Streetian matchday, there will be a recap of the greatest Streetian football moments - going from eight (today) to one (play-offs)

Number Eight:

With humble beginnings, a borrowed ball, and a large portion of arrogance, lowly-ranked Cockbill Street pulled off a severe upset in their very first match of World Cup football. 16-year-old Harald Axewielder was only a substitute, and he didn't play such a dominant role as he would later on.

A very good performance away yesterday saw the Cockbill Street side ease past Evisceratomatoes with the single goal by substitute Simon Quier.

Instead, it was Simon Quier, the Streetians' first overseas player (for Noriega Tigers in Giant Zucchini), who clinched the match with a header. The Streeters then lost six matches in succession before changing half the team, coming back with a roar, and nearly qualifying - very similar to another team in that qualifying series, New Montreal States.

# 8 1-0 win over Evisceratomatoes, World Cup 10
# 7 ???
# 6 ???
# 5 ???
# 4 ???
# 3 ???
# 2 ???
# 1 ???

Krytenia

21-02-2005, 16:56

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Lucky Seven

KRYTENIA have been drawn in one of the softer of the twelve groups - Group Seven. Only three sides in the group have ever been all the way to the finals, and they are the easy favourites. Let's have a look at the sides.

DANCE 2 REVOLUTION (Record 0-0-0)
Former KPB No.1 and group favourites, but the weakest of the twelve.

SPAAM (Record 0-1-0)
Did well in the World Cup just gone and a team on the up. Failed to beat the Caledonians though.

SPURLAND (Record 2-2-0)
A six-two win is the best of the four games against the Spurs.

KIPTO-MARE (Record 0-0-0)
ANARQUISTAN (Record 0-0-0)
KRAKATOU (Record 0-0-0)
Fourteen points mimimum.

Druida

21-02-2005, 17:18

The Daily Druid

GRAD'S AWAY TO DO IT!
Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po on Druida 5 Naglegrad 0

The Druida Rainbows have got off to a flier with a record Druidan victory over Naglegrad. Two each for Chilvers and Law, along with a single Dan Nothfleet effort, were enough to see off the plucky young hopefuls.

However, the match was overshadowed by the pre-match confusion suffered by the Druida team. The team had originally boarded the team's Druidan Airways plane to Naglegrad, only for them to be delayed by the plane of the Naglegrad team landing in Cefn. Confused, the two teams decided it was easiest to simply play the game in Cefn instead of going all the way back to Naglegrad, and will play the return game on Matchday 8.

The error has been traced down to President Smith, who has fired someone at the FANCD for his error. I mean, as if our president ever does a thing wrong...

Final score:
Druida 5 [Chilvers 23, 28, Law 34, 58, Northfleet 71]
Naglegrad 0

Games so far...

Matchday 1: Druida 5-0 Naglegrad

...top scorers...

2 - Max Chilvers
2 - Trevor Law
1 - Dan Northfleet

...and still to come.

Matchday 2: Obsessed Muse Groupies (a)
Matchday 3: Day off! Woohoo!!!
Matchday 4: Ratvipa (a)
Matchday 5: Total n Utter Insanity (a)
Matchday 6: Oddslavo (a)
Matchday 7: Finrods (h)
Matchday 8: Naglegrad (a)
Matchday 9: Obsessed Muse Groupies (h)
Matchday 10: The rainbows go on holiday.
Matchday 11: Ratvipa (h)
Matchday 12: Total n Utter Insanity (h)
Matchday 13: Oddslavo (h)
Matchday 14: Finrods (a)

Sonaron

21-02-2005, 18:59

Pride Open With Road Shocker
When the draw was released three days ago, few people circled the opening match at Kylaai for Sonaron's first World Cup victory. Today, the entire nation has come to a screeching halt in celebration of Johann Robertson's GW header in the 88th minute, which catapulted the Pride over the 36th ranked team from Kylaai. Robertson, who received an unexpected starting opportunity in the Baptism of Fire due to the injury to Sandra Carter, pushed a corner kick into the upper left corner of the goal past the outstretched hands of the Kylaai keeper for the go-ahead and winning goal.

In the first half, Sonaron's 4-3-3 opened with a fast and furious attack, seeking to wear down the Kylaai defenders. The strategy seemed to be working, until Engel lost the ball near the box and the Kylaai counter-attack successfully served it down the field. Caught out of position, the Pride back line tried to prevent the two on one break, but was unsuccessful. The Kylaai forward sizzled the ball past Robinson and into the goal, giving Kylaai a 1-0 lead after thirteen minutes. The Sonaron attack quickly equalized, with Sandra Carter coming up from the midfield position to bury a shot from the top of the box. Engel and Bram were credited with assists on the play.

At half time, Coach Raizor chose to pull Saton, who seemed to be a little slow out on the field, in favor of Thomas Carter. Carter, who had not played a minute since his red card in the first match of the Baptism of Fire, looked sluggish at first, but soon joined his twin sister Sandra in dominating the middle of the field. In the eighty-seventh minute, Thomas Carter ripped a shot from the outside corner of the box which was narrowly punched over the bar by the Kylaai keeper. Douglas found Robertson on the corner, however, and Sonaron got the win in its first ever World Cup match.

In a post game press conference, Coach Raizor was asked about his choice to revert to the 4-4-2 for the second half. "I saw the opportunity to guarantee the point. The Kylaai counter-attack had shown several flashes throughout the first half, and I didn't want to lose the road point. Fortunately, Thomas came through for us today and we got the win."

The Pride's next match will be at Rhovani Stadium, where the team looks for its first ever international home win. The Pride will be hosting the Navy-Blues of Nova Britannicus, currently ranked 24th in the world.

Goals:
Kylaai (13')
Sonaron: Carter, S 1 (15'--Engel 1, Bram 1)

Sonaron: Roberston 1 (88'--Douglas 1)

Fouls: Kylaai 4 Sonaron 6
Cards: None
TOP: Kylaai 48% Sonaron 52%

Pride (1-0-0 +1, 3rd place) Schedule:
WC XXI Group 4
MD01: @ Kylaai (W 2-1)
MD02: v Nova Brittanicus
MD03: @ Audioslava
MD04: v Haperd
MD05: --REST DAY--
MD06: v Funny Looking Islands
MD07: @ Oceaice
MD08: v Kylaai
MD09: @ Nova Brittanicus
MD10: v Audioslava
MD11: @ Haperd
MD12: --REST DAY--
MD13: @ Funny Looking Islands
MD14: v Oceaice

Starblaydia

21-02-2005, 19:06

Starblaydia Line-up Vs Chicanada

12
Gonzalez

14 5
13 Watt Gianunzio 3
Caltabiano Azanulbizarn

4
Montefalcon
22 7
Kovac Matranga
16
Naoki

10 9
Belizaire Lyku-Agbayani

Subs: Del Blanco (Naoki 63), Madray (Kovac 63), Tumunzahar (Belizaire 84)

Final Score:
Starblaydia 2 - 1 Chicanada
(Lyku-Agbayani 34, Naoki 76) - (Westington 42)

"...next question," Guylain said, leaning towards the microphone, "you, in the trousers."

"Mister N'Dumbu-Nsungu," the reporter asked, "do you think it was a good idea to start the match with five players making their World Cup Qualification debut?"

"No," he replied flatly, "Chicanada started with eleven players who were doing exactly the same." Guylain sighed. "Next. You, with the ears."

"Sir, with around half of your first-team unable to competently deal with a frankly not-very-good Kodiak team, how do you rate your chances of Auto-Qualifying from this group?"

"Look," Guylain said, beginning to get annoyed, "three teams have got three points from today, and we're one of them. If it has to come down to Goal Difference at the end of it then we haven't done our jobs properly. We're going to qualify from this group, got it?"

Guylain stood up sharply, pushing the chair over behind him; he stormed off the stage to a hail of flashbulbs, leaving his other staff and players sitting at the Press Conference table completely bemused. Jerome Montefalcon, Captain of the side, leaned forward and cleared his throat nervously.

"Any more questions?"

Another flurry of flashbulbs, punctuated by the loud questions of the reporters, assaulted Jerome. This was going to be a long afternoon...

Sjwitz

21-02-2005, 19:10

From the Daily NewSjwitz:

New tactics fail miserably, Sjwitz gets clobbered.

Yet somehow coach Schmidt kept his smile during the whole game. Afterwards he explained that "The new formation worked superbly. The players performed good and tried their best but the Commerce Heights squad was just too good for us. A great support from the crowd they had also! I will be working with the mental coach to make sure the team regains some self-confidence and I'm sure we will perform like never seen before against Eauz in our first ever home match."

The match itself was rather exciting, it took the Commerce Heights 72 minutes to take the victory when they scored the 3-1. But before that Sjwitz had been actively participating in play and the total domination that some pessimist Sjwitz fans had predicted had stayed out. In fact, Sjwitz had a few chances during the first half, the new system proved to work quite brilliantly, especially Morrgh and DiLuciano were directing many succesfull passes up front and to the flanks. After about 25 minutes Sjwitzer fired a cannonball at the goal from about 20 meters but the keeper somehow managed to tip it into a corner. As the game progressed the team got more and more confidence as they saw that there were chances. When most of them had settled for a 0-0 draw at halftime however, a splendid move straight through the middle rendered Commerce Heights their first goal of the match.

"That really put the mood down in the dressing room, but after 15 minutes of peptalk they we're all ready for 45 more minutes of Superb Sjwitz' Soccer Skills.", explained coach Sjwitzer

Unfortunately, it took Commerce Heights only 1 minute and 56 seconds to double the score after a fatal mistake between the Sjwitz central defenders. The crowd went wild, Sjwitz went silent. It took the squad about 15 minutes to recover, in that period CH could have scored at least two more goals but Blurr was in great form. After 67 minutes the Sjwitz fans gained hope as Sjwitzer was fouled in the penalty area and a penalty was given. Barosj shot it straight through the middle at the keeper who had chosen a side but managed to still put his left foot against it. Unfortunatly for him, Jolt was there to tap in the ball and make up for his mistake that caused the 2-0. The crowd went silent but only for a few minutes as Commerce Heights took a deciding lead in the 72nd minute, 3-1 after a freekick headed in from close range, Blurr without a chance. After that Commerce Heights managed to score 2 more times but the game had then already been played.

EL CID THE HERO

21-02-2005, 19:26

the following actions happened between the hours of 8pm and 9pm.

Doomhammer is lying on his sun bed getting a nice tan. S.Sam walks in with a piece of paper in his hand.

SS: Sir, i have important news

DH: Can't this wait? I’m in the middle of something. Can't a man get a decent...

SS: WORLD CUP 21 HAS STARTED!!

DH: ....WHAT!?!

SS: i don't know how, i don't know why, but for some reason we didn't get any info on it. It’s begun without us and now we have to play catch up. Were totally....

DH: ... ok calm down. This is no time to panic. So what if the build up has began we can still get ready in time. how long is it till MD1?

SS: MD1 has already happened.

DH:... excuse me one moment.

Doomhammer enters the next room.

SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doomhammer comes back.

DH: so what’s the plan of action. if we didn't play then we lose 3 point. Not a big loss but...

SS: but we won. 2-0 Vs Antaeus Rising.

DH: How can we win if we didn't know the WC was on?

SS: well, apparently a blogger got the info to Dent who the spread it to the his team-mates.

DH: and they didn't tell us?

SS: apparently not sir.

DH: o.k... so who do we play next?

SS: that would be Danieljoh.

DH: ok until then i got some tanning to do. GO GO

Turori

21-02-2005, 19:57

Zucchini's Electri-Fried

The Turori Eels electrifyingly opened their World Cup 21 qualifying campaign with an intense frying of Zucchini's at the Cednia Beach Center in Cednia, Beach, Turori.

Talzeckia

21-02-2005, 20:02

Tides trip in opener, 1-0

The qualifying campaign for the 21st World Cup finals was supposed to be a different story for the Talzecki national football program. After taking some of the expected lumps new countries who hadn't competed in the Baptism of Fire were supposed to take, a Tides team that surprisingly dealt a few of their own blows saw an opportunity for a possible Cinderfella run to the World Cup Finals.

That may eventually happen, but group frontrunners Eauz brought the team back to reality in its first match, getting a goal from its playmaking midfielder and prevailing 1-0 at home.

"We gave it our best shot, but it just wasn't good enough," Coach Avid Mashoda said. "Nicky can't win too many games when he faces 20 shots and we only fire two on goal." Besides the disparity in shots (31-8), and shots on goal (20-2), Eauz had possession in the Talzecki end of the pitch a full 57 minutes, while Talzeckia only mustered 29 minutes in the Eauzian end of the pitch.

"All things considered, we did the best we could," Reynolds said. "The problem is that we're going to have to start playing better football than we did tonight if we're going to want a chance to even make it to the playoffs. Hell, the way we played today, we'll be lucky to match our win total last time out (four wins out of 14 matches)."

Chicanada

21-02-2005, 20:16

InterCanton Press

Chicanada comes up short in opener

Starblaydia [2] [1] Chicanada
Lyku-Agbayani (1) (34) Westington (1) (42)
Naoki (1) (76)

Somewhere in Starblaydia:

Jude Westington made it a close game for the Kodiaks, but Goalkeep Openzender continued to struggle as Chicanada lost its first match against group favorite Starblaydia 2-1

Coach Jesnui Viladetta, in a press conference to Chicanadan press, said "More than likely there will be a shuffle in goalkeep to give Jersey a break. He's been in goal since our match against Publiconica (in the Baptism Of Fire) and I am very happy with how well our defense did. Yes, we gave up two goals but one was off a corner kick which continues to not be our strong point and the other came off a misread in their motion. Both small errors that can be quickly solved, I think."

Captain Jude Westington, who scored for the Kodiaks in the fourty-second minute, said he and the team were thrilled to play against Starblaydia first and that they did better than they expected. "We're comming off a lousy game (a 3-0 loss to the Liamist States) and to come out and keep a favorite to win the whole damn thing to just two goals and get past their defense and get one goal does a lot for our morale." Defender Hejduk Killnger seconded that belief, saying "losses like this will help us get a hell of a lot better quickly."

And quickly is right, as the Kodiaks play their second match tommorow against Nonesuch Street, who will be playing their first game in the tournament. Westington said "I think we are all looking foreward to playing this great team, especially in Finnen. It will be a great game for the people of Chicanada to see in person."

The Kodiaks will host Nonesuch Street at the 33,000 seat Southern Cross Fieldhouse in Finnen tommorow in their first ever home qualifier. The match is scheduled for 2000 CST and will be carried live by Canal4 and Northern. Most football pitches will be open after CFF matches to show the game live. The Chicanada Colonial Assembly is expected to attend the game (yes, all 500 of them) to cheer on the Kodiaks with the rest of the nation.

The official schedule for Chicanada Qualifying
(Home team is listed on the left side)

MD01 @ Starblaydia (L 1-2)
MD02 v Nonesuch Street (Southern Cross Fieldhouse, Finnen)
MD03 @ Hiiraan
MD04 v Melmond (Township Plaza Grounds, Douala)
MD05 v Allanea (Shoreline Pitch, Livingston)
MD06 -
MD07 v Rittarstan (Ministry Fieldhouse, Paradiso)
MD08 v Starblaydia (TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD09 @ Nonesuch Street
MD10 v Hiiraan (Easten National Arena, Eastentown)
MD11 @ Melmond
MD12 @ Allanea
MD13 -
MD14 @ Rittarstan

Sonaron

21-02-2005, 20:27

Stadium Seating Shortage Leads to Rioting
National Guard deployed to Rhovani
Rhovani Stadium officials have come under intense scrutiny for their decision to allot nearly 20,000 of the stadium's 75,000 seats to visiting teams. As Sonaron is swept by football fever, demand for tickets is far exceeding organizers' estimates. According to reports, the 55,000 tickets available to home fans sold out in less than an hour, and are currently being exchanged between fans at as much as 10x the face price. While police are trying their best to enforce anti-scalping legislation, few arrests have been made.

Stadium officials announced their plans to mitigate the ticket crisis, including slashing the visitor's allocation to 12,000 and introducing a dutch auction for ticket sales. Bidding for the additional 8,000 tickets available for the Nova Britannicus match is scheduled to end tonight, with winners being notified of the price via electronic communication.

Attempts to reach members the Nova Britannicus football organization were unsuccessful. It is unknown whether Nova Britannicus officials received notification of the allocation change before their team left for the match. Pride officials refused to comment on the situation.

Sarzonia

21-02-2005, 20:51

Stars start off right, win 2-0

Nicksia (ASP) -- Coach Dave Wilson was non-committal publically about setting goals for the Sarzonian national team in its sixth appearance in the World Cup after advancing to the finals two consecutive years, but privately is a different matter. He told the team to play "Sarzonian football" and maintain possession and set up quality shots. The team listened, cruising to a 2-0 win over Everlasting Friendship in the World Cup qualifying opener for both sides.

Forward and team captain Brian Wilson made sure to get the crowd involved early by scoring both goals just seven minutes in. He caught the lower seeded visitors in an offside trap and tapped a shot past the goalkeeper for a second minute tally. Five minutes later, after a professional foul against midfielder Darwin Russell, Brian Wilson converted from the spot to give the Stars the 2-0 lead.

"I just wanted to set the tone for the match," Brian Wilson said. "We didn't score in our last three World Cup matches and we struggled in the Jurassic Cup so we wanted to put those memories behind us early."

"Bri did a great job out there," Dave Wilson said. "Horace [Sandt, the team's new starting goalkeeper] was great as well." Sandt made five saves, three of them of the point blank variety, and left many Everlasting Friendship players shaking their heads after the match.

"Troy who," Russell joked after the match about the surprise retirement of goalkeeper Troy Perkins. "No, Troy did a great job getting us to two World Cup finals, but now we have a new chapter to write and hopefully Horace will help us write that chapter."

Dave Wilson refused to specify a goal such as winning the group or finishing second for the record, but sources close to the coach said he told the team "don't give yourselves any extra work," to advance to the World Cup finals. Even though the coach wouldn't say it, his message to the team was clear: Anything less than second place in the group would not be good enough.

"We had a bad experience the last time we played a one-off match for the right to advance to the World Cup finals," Dave Wilson said. "We deserved to go to the finals in each of the first three World Cup campaigns we were in. We want to make sure we don't miss out again because of our own so-called bad luck."

Of greater concern for Wilson if the team should be in favourable position to qualify for the Finals is the team's propensity to slump in the second half of qualifying.

"We have to make sure we can play wire to wire," Wilson said. "Perhaps having a bye will help us, though coming this early doesn't do us a lot of favours."

Hiiraan

21-02-2005, 20:53

Hiiraan Takes out Rittarstan
First Day Lost With Any Suprises

As originally thought, the Hiiraanian men came on top and finished out the Rittarstan team 3-1. The scoring started with Saleebaan Mohamed Xaashi as he scored his first goal of the tournament at the 43rd minute of the game. The game went on and on and as it past the second half with 1-0, the Hiiraanian men took rest and come back with fury. They have been known to come back from the half time with much determination to win, one journalist once said that "Hiiraan were the original comeback team". As the half rolled past the Hiiraanian, Muse Ali Bilaal, the African Player of the year took his first crack at the goal at the 47th minute and scored it in right there in the net. The Rittarstan could not do a thing about that, and as originally thought one of the Rittarstan players came from behind and lobed the ball to his teammate and scored their first goal, making the game 2-1. The Hiiraanian did not take this lightly as Bilala once more took the ball from the midpoint giving a one touch pass to Mustafa Khallid who gave it back right away, the ball was something the Rittarstan did not know, they have been over taken by the Hiiraanian who had great ball passes and touch, with the ball on the hands of Bilal it was surely no doubt that the Hiiraanian had added another goal, Bilal scored at the 86th minute just 5 minutes after the Rittarstan scored their first and only goal in the game.

Hiiraan, which will have a bye tomorrow, will be at camp delat to wait for the BoF geniuses, namely the Chicandan Football Team. Hiiraan has a lot to show the young team and we will not take them to day school for it, our intentions will be tough love and tough love is what they will get from the Hiiraanian football association and Football fans.

Gaian Ascendancy

21-02-2005, 21:00

~ Gaian National Recap - Standings ~
WC21 - Day 1

Group 10
Vilita - Liamist States 4-1
Lovisa - Gaian Ascendancy 2-0
Oaker - Evalness 1-0

Group 10 P W D L GF-GAPts
Vilita 1 1 0 0 4-1 3
Lovisa 1 1 0 0 2-0 3
Oaker 1 1 0 0 1-0 3
Big Pimento 0 0 0 0 0-0 0
Evalness 1 0 0 1 0-1 0
Gaian Ascendancy 1 0 0 1 0-2 0
Liamist States 1 0 0 1 1-4 0

--

GUNN Sports Desk: ~ The long learning curve begins for the Gaian team.

Despite hosting the first game, the Gaians found out what good teams are all about. From the 24th minute on when the Gaians fell behind 1 - 0, the level of competition was shown to be much higher than the BoF Cup series was.

Despite, the Gaians kept to their game plan, despite being beaten to the ball far too many times than was comforting.

They managed to hold on to the 1 - 0 deficit until the 67th minute, when the Lovisans far better conditioning and experience took over. A complex offense kept the Gaian Defenders off balance too long and a vicious strike past Keeper Howe was a foregone conclusion.

Of miracles, the team only lost 2 - 0, as the Lovisa national team demonstrated they could have done far worse damage. It's unknown if the Lovisans were being easy on the newcomers, or another unmentioned vein. Either way, the Gaians finished the game knowing that their BoF expereince meant nothing.

After Coach Kerensky commented on having their butts kicked. "We said that we'd face good teams, and they didn't get to where they are by flights of fancy. They were where we are now, and they've earned their due. We have the long path to take to get to that level, and I must warn my nation that this may be a long and cold tourney for us.

..but all that experience goes somewhere, and one day we'll be the ones on the other side. Until then, we'll take our licks and keep going. We congratulate the Lovisa team for their skill and strong play."

Afterwards, the Gaians revealed their team nickname, chosen by the Gaian populace at large. Forever now the team will be known as The Seraphim, named after one of the many angel monicers the Republic enshrouds itself with.

The team now concentrates on the cream of the crem: Vilita. The Gaian team only hopes they can take it to the Vilitalians with some measure, and make a good game out of it.

Gaian Ascendancy

21-02-2005, 21:16

After the first match however, the Gaian Team Forward ian Andersen, after finding out it was Liamist States that pulled the prank of hand in bowls of water, had only this to say to their Group 10 arch rivals.

"Their psychology, simply childish, has garnered such that we have to retliate.

..however no matter what their response may be, no matter what denials or words exchanged, or responses to outside parties, know only one thing. By the end of this tournament, we'll 'respond' to the Marma-whatta-dukes in our own way.

Before the end of the Cup, we'll make our move on them.

..not if............... when..............."

Funny Looking Islands

21-02-2005, 21:55

What Happened..?

"S**t happened!". Thats all head coach John Burgandy had to say when asked what happened. In case you had not heard the result it was Nova Britannicus 6 to Funny Looking Islands 0. Burgandy said "this was our first chance to really show the world that we had talent. If we fail to qualify foor the championship we will be known only as that team that lost 6-0 to Nova Britannicus. Burgandy is expected to change the team around ahead of the teams next encounter and who knows who will play and what formation will be used after that disgraceful performance.

Nova Britannicus

21-02-2005, 22:01

Six-Shooters!
Navy-Blues fire six past Funny Looking Peoples

"Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya?"

"Six-Nil, to the Navy-Blues, Six-Nil to the Navy-Blues!"

"Powers' Army! Powers' Army! Powers' Army!"

The people of Beverington were dancing in the streets as their team destroyed the Funny Looking Peoples at the home of the Beverington Hawks. The Demolition began early as Darryl Lamphear struck a well-placed shot from outside the box within the first five minutes. Centre-Forward Akira Jones, who was allowed to run riot throughout the game, bagged the first of a Hat-Trick from an un-marked header and Nova Britannicus were Two-Nil up with a quarter of an hour gone.

With barely twenty-five minutes gone, the Navy-Blues had sewn up the match with Jones' second and the Britannican's third, Jones got on the end of a low cross and turned the ball into the top-corner of the net. The first-half shooting gallery didn't end there, and John Pompey made it four by cutting in from the right flank and sneaking the ball inside the post, past the desparing fingertips of John Redman in the FLP net. Four-Nil at half time, and Beverington was going mad.

With Captain Rick Powers turning in an excellent display, it was only Man-of the-Match Akira Jones who outshined him, firing his third with around Twenty minutes to go from a free-kick, after Pompey had also bagged his second from a short corner. Six-Nil, you little beauties!

Nova Britannicus (4-3-3): Cavaletti, Monterrey, Ximbod, Johnson, Gooner, Lamphear, Powers, Cochran (Quick 77), Pompey, Jones (Seaford 82), La Salle (Fletcher 56).
Goals: Lamphear (4), Jones (12, 22, 71), Pompey (34, 55)

Stadium Seating Shortage Leads to Rioting
National Guard deployed to Rhovani
Rhovani Stadium officials have come under intense scrutiny for their decision to allot nearly 20,000 of the stadium's 75,000 seats to visiting teams...
Stadium officials announced their plans to mitigate the ticket crisis, including slashing the visitor's allocation to 12,000 and introducing a dutch auction for ticket sales...
It is unknown whether Nova Britannicus officials received notification of the allocation change before their team left for the match. Pride officials refused to comment on the situation.

"They've done what?" Charlie was aghast

"Slashed our ticket allocation by forty percent, Charlie"

"That'll cause a right pen, won't it?" Charlie scratched his head. "Can we send out any advice to our travellers or anything?

"You want to send out advice to around thirty-thousand lagered-up football hoolig... I mean, fans?"

"Hmm," Charlie said, "good point. It's their own fault, after all, if they don't take into account what can happen at an international football match. This might be a good way of teaching them."

"No official advice, then?"

"No," Charlie replied, "no statements. Let the chips fall where they may."

'Pen' = Pen and Ink = 'Stink'

Everlasting Friendship

21-02-2005, 22:13

**VeggieTales theme song plays**

Larry the Tomato (LT): We're coming to you live from Sarzonia where the Veggies are going to make their WC debut against Sarzonia as WC XXI commences.

Bob the Cucumber (BC): This is a great day for Everlasting Friendship, Larry. Our friends from Praying2God got an extra time to prepare for their opening match against Giant Zucchini, which is sort of like our country in the sense that their entire team is made of vegetables, only our's are a mixture of tomatoes and cucumbers.

LT: Isn't it a little strange that there isn't a tomato or cucumber on the coaching staff though?

BC: Too much green and red would be too boring.

LT: But it might lull the other team to sleep so we could win. ;)

BC: Oh brother. :rolleyes:

LT: It should be interesting to see how the Veggies do in their WC debut, Bob. The teams are on the field, and the ref is about the get this match underway.

**whistle sounds**

BC: And we're under way in the Veggies WC debut.

**2nd minute**

BC: Sarzonia with possession in the Veggies' end...the pass the Brian Wilson...who was offside!!!

LT: However, it goes uncalled, leaving Pickle the Cucumber in a pickle...Winter freezes Pickle and taps the ball past him for a 1-0 Sarzonia lead.

BC: He was offside!!! :mad:

**7th minute**

LT: Sarzonia continues to dominate play here in the opening minutes...they bring the ball into the box again...Darwin Russell with the ball...he suddenly pulls up and falls to the ground...

**whistle blows**

Uh oh...It's a foul on the Veggies. The ref is calling over Cherry the Tomato...and there's a yellow card...Russell is still on the ground in pain...the Sarzonian trainer helps Russell off the field, and we'll return to action.

BC: He was offside!!!

LT: Not that time, Bob. Winter steps up to take the penalty...he freezes Pickle again, and the ball goes into the net for a 2-0 Sarzonia lead.

**22nd minute**

LT: We've just received word that Sarzonian midfielder Darwin Russell has a strained hamstring and will be held out of the rest of this match as a precaution, but he should be fine for the Sarzonians next match...

BC: He was offside!!!

LT: ...Sarzonia continues to dominate this match...they have the ball again near the top of the Veggies' box...the pass to Winter...the flag goes up this time as Winter hammers the ball past Pickle into the net...No goal...Go ahead and say it, Bob.

BC: He was offside!!! :)

LT: Indeed he was that time. :cool:

**90th minute**

LT: Sarzonia is wrapping up an utter domination of the Veggies. The Veggies haven't challenged Sarzonian keeper Horace Sandt all match...

**whisle blows**

That's all she wrote, folks. Sarzonia wins this match by a score of 2-0. The Veggies will make their debut in the Garden Patch in their next match against The Lowland Clans. For Bob the Cucumber, I'm Larry the Tomato. Don't forget to eat your veggies.

BC: HE WAS OFFSIDE!!! :mp5:

**VeggieTales theme song plays**

Sonaron

22-02-2005, 00:57

More Troubles in Rhovani
Stadium Authority hacked, ticket status uncertain

According to a source within the Rhovani Stadium Authority (RSA) that wishes to remain anonymous, the RSA mainframe fell prey to a hacker attack late last night. The source indicates that all information pertaining to the ticket auction was compromised, rendering it useless. Official confirmation is expected some time later this morning, as bidding winners are due notification by 10 am. As of press time, RSA officials refused to comment on the matter or any contingency plans in place in case the auction failed to produce the desired results.
---
"Reporting live from Rhovani, I'm Susan Shelran. Rhovani Stadium Authority officials announced just moments ago that the information for the ticket auction was compromised by an unknown hacker overnight, scuttling plans to auction off 8,000 tickets taken from the Nova Britannicus allocation. According to authority officials, there isn't enough time remaining before the match to hold the auction again, so tickets will be sold on a lottery basis the morning of the match. It remains unclear at this time what qualifications will be necessary to enter the auction, or what the price of the remaining tickets will be.

In related news, the Stadium Authority also announced plans to issue as many as 2,000 standing room only tickets for this match. In addition, they are reportedly persuing options such as temporary bleachers for the duration of the World Cup qualifying.

When asked to comment on the football fervor sweeping Sonaron, Coach Raizor remarked, 'I really can't describe how it feels to have such support from Izlon, Rhovani, and all of Sonaron. We just hope to be able to give the home fans a good showing tomorrow.'

Live from Rhovani, this is SNN"
---
Official Press Release from the Rhovani Stadium Authority
8,000 upper level bleacher seats and 2,000 standing room only tickets for the match between the Nova Britannicus Navy-Blues and the Sonaron Pride will be sold on the morning of the match. The lottery will open at 0600, with the selections being made at 1200--two hours before match time. Any tickets that remain unclaimed as of 1300 will be offered to the lowest outstanding number on the list, in sequence. No person may register for more than one ticket, and current ticket holders are prohibited from entering the lottery. Current ticket holders will be defined as those who were sold the official tickets from the stadium.

(SNN = Sonaron News Network)

Bedistan

22-02-2005, 01:22

The Bedistan Sports Digest

Run-of-the-Mill Start
Modest home win is par for the course

SONOMA CITY -- Bedistan opened World Cup 21 qualifying at home against South Osettia today. The Osettians were expected to be huge underdogs, for reasons this reporter still isn't fully certain of. But the mediocre number fifty-something side successfully managed to hold #9 Bedistan to two-nil.

Some of Bedistan's most vociferous sports critics feel that the match was an "exceedingly weak" performance for the Green-Blues, but nobody really takes any stock in what they have to say. The general consensus is that it was in fact a very average performance for our national team and that it will continue to get better as qualifying progresses. Let's hope so, with nations like Kaze Progressa and Liverpool England in this group.

Final score:
Bedistan 2 (Carpenter 19, Vantrease 69)
South Osettia 0

Squornshelous

22-02-2005, 02:39

Pschychoes placed in Group 5

Group 5
Squornshelous
Iansisle
The Belmore Family
Fmjphoenix
Five Civilized Nations
Bryn Shander
Nifty nick

A win over Five Civilized Nations opens the cup
Squornshelous defeated FCN by a score of 2-0, with goals coming from Trevor Gerrard and Alexander Popov. Manager Sergei Korolev called it "A good start. We'll have to maintain our focus in these first three matchdays, and then use the bye to gear up for Iansisle." The matchdya 5 matchup is the most anticipated for the Pschychoes in this group. In World Cup 18, the Ians defeated us in the third place match.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 2-0 Five Civilized Nations

Scoring Summary:
SQ: Gerrard [34]
SQ: Popov [52]

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Gerrard: 1
Popov: 1

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins draws losses
MD01: Squornshelous 2-0 Five Civilized Nations
MD02: Bryn Shander v Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous v Nifty nick
MD04: Bye
MD05: Squornshelous v Iansisle
MD06: Fmjphoenix v Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous v The Belmore Family
MD08: Five Civilized Nations v Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous v Bryn Shander
MD10: Nifty nick v Squornshelous
MD11: Bye
MD12: Iansisle v Squornshelous
MD13: Squornshelous v Fmjphoenix
MD14: The Belmore Family v Squornshelous

Liamist States

22-02-2005, 04:05

Good Work Marmadukes
NOT!
Ted Wehling, Liamist States Times

Word had just reached me that the Marmadukes had managed to show up in Vilita twenty minutes before their match. After the match, Illario Forster told me that, “I blame whoever’s idea it was to go home, before even playing the game against the country we were first to face. Our alarm clocks were all turned off by an unknown party (he coughs, sounding like “Vilita”). It was a ridiculous mistake and we missed our flight. We had to have the whole team piled into military air transports to make it on time, thanks to Commander Mi Rainford. We landed just outside the stadium with a handful of minutes to spare. Most of the players had started warming up on the choppers. It was hectic, stressful and appalling logistics. I take absolutely no blame and use this as my explanation for our 4-1 walloping and first international loss.”

Yes, you heard right Marmaduketeers, four goals from Vilita to freaking one. My Liam, we have never, literally, been beaten, let alone played this badly. The Marmadukes were all over the place, seemingly disorientated. I think Jackson Eaks may have been suffering the affects of air sickness. He took several moments to run to the sidelines and throw up. He was not a well Liamist.

In fact, the match went so badly, I’m just going to offer some basic statistics and not even write it down. I fear reporting it may cause a national wave of grief, not seen since Carlo, the nation’s first and favourite FMR driver, passed on.

Readers, I’ll be straight with you. It was not pretty. Those Vilitans love their football side and no amount of half-hearted cheering and so forth was going to turn the tide of the crowd or the match against them. It was, to use an over used cliché, one-way traffic. Up until this game, Mi Rainford Jr had conceded but four goals, three of which were from penalties. Three goals were conceded in the first half, only one of which was from a penalty, which came in the twelfth minute.

After being pressed hard, that complete idiot and thuggish wanker, Son Defino lashed out, spikes heading for the calf of Vilitan striker, Callum Banda. One red card later (which also could explain the scoreline: we drew with Naglegrad, now somewhere in the nineties in the rankings, with nine, but playing an all class side like Vilita with ten players is suicide), and a neatly slotted away penalty, Vilita was leading one-zip.

Switching to a 9-0-0 formation, the Marmadukes faired somewhat better, holding out for another fifteen minutes before another Vilitan onslaught was capitalised upon by the reigning premiers. A Riccardo Appolloni shot from within the box, heading faster than most of our aerial forces supersonic jets, landed in the goals. Rainford didn’t even think about responding to the pass that lead to the goal before it was put away. Marmadukes were now down by two.

The final goal came in the thirty-eighth minute when a badly deflected Rainford save went over the crossbar. A simply brilliant set piece later and Vilita's Jan Christiansen had headed home a third goal from the corner. Three goals to Vilita and thankfully for Marmaduke fans and players alike, the halftime whistle was blown shortly after.

Coach Jamus Spring was fairly pissed off at the state of things. The scoreline, the fact that the team had only arrived twenty minutes before kick-off and the fact his media contact and manager didn’t seem to want to take responsibility for what was clearly his fault. Surely he should’ve been watching the news that would’ve reported, as on LSTV, that the Marmadukes should have stayed in Vilita and not gone home. In fact, Spring was so pissed, he could be heard shouting at the Marmadukes from within the dressing rooms and over the noise of a despondent Marmaduke crowd and a revelling Vilitan audience.

Second half and the teams came back onto the pitch, fans ready for another bloodbath. It looked, however, like the Marmadukes had gotten themselves in shape (Jackson Eaks was no longer running for the chuck bucket) and were ready to play more like Baptism of Fire champions, rather than some third grade rugby team told to play soccer. Even in this newfound form, the Marmadukes still conceded a goal. Seventy second minute of play, after going thirty four without conceding, Rainford Jr made a critical error. A Banda strike was launched straight at him. He caught it or so he thought. The ball popped out from his arms and as Rainford dived on it, he propelled it backwards and into the net. Vilita four, Marmadukes nil.

But the Liamist States managed to hold it together for the rest of the match. Another eighteen minutes passed goalless. Besides their world renowned defence, which was devastatingly crap today, the Marmadukes are known for lightning strike attacks. It just so happened in extra time that the Hal Bell, superstar striker for the Marmadukes, strayed upon a loose Vilitan ball and charged up the field with it. The Marmaduketeers finally rose to their feet. He passed three defenders on the way to the penalty box where he launched a deceptive spinning strike that looked like it was going left but went right. The goalkeeper fell for it and the Marmadukes managed to salvage some pride from the affair and blasted into song (chorus from Song 2 is now available through LSMC Records on the new Songs of the Marmaduketeers soundtrack). The ref blew the whistle and the final score was declared: four-one.

Oh sure, we might not have expected to do so well against the current World Cup champions and the team ranked two in the world. We might have even expected a loss but a three goal deficit was definitely not on the cards. This seriously hurts any chances of the Liamist States qualifying on to the next stages, even with the improvement towards the end of the game. Hell, morale might be so low now that we might lose against a team like Gaian Ascendancy, who we’ve already beaten in our seven game winning streak to the top of the newbie football world. This loss is just an embarrassing mistake and a blot on the Liamist States copybook that they will need to work hard to remove. The Marmadukes left immediately for the Liamist States to prepare for Big Pimento.

Liamist States

22-02-2005, 04:58

Mar-Ma-Dukes!
Press Release

In the confusing events leading up to the match against Vilita and timezone differences, the Marmadukes didn’t even get to tell you about us as a team. For individual player information, please visit the Roster thread.

The Marmadukes have a very short history as a football side. It began with a match against n00bs Danieljoh in the Baptism of Fire tournament, which the Marmadukes convincingly won three goals to nil. Since then, the Marmadukes have played a further seven matches, totalling eight, including a three-nil win over Chicanada to secure victory in the Baptism of Fire final. It may prove to be our last for a while. As captain, Rod Manoni, said: “We’re playing in a group with two top fifteen teams, one of which is reining champion, two more teams in the forties, Gaian Ascendancy, who we hope to win against but you never know, and an unseeded Evalness, who had the best loss. I expect to finish fifth and we will ineligible for any method of getting to the finals, unlike some of our other fellow n00bs who got easy groups and will probably get through. If we’re lucky, we may score a draw here and there against Oakers and Big Pimento, but only if we play well. So we're expecting a few more losses.”

Our draw is a little hectic and, well, plain scary. As we proved against Vilita today, it’s also a logistical nightmare. It is as follows:

Group 10 – Draw
Loss (1-4): Vilita (2), Away
MD02: Big Pimento (49), Home
MD03: Oaker (43), Away
MD04: Lovisa (13), Home
MD05: Gaian Ascendancy (92), Home
MD06: DAY OFF
MD07: Evalness (-), Home
MD08: Vilita (2), Home
MD09: Big Pimento (49), Away
MD10: Oaker (43), Home
MD11: Lovisa (13), Away
MD12: Gaian Ascendancy (92), Away
MD13: DAY OFF
MD14: Evalness (-), Away

The team will have six games at home, one for each District of the Liamist States (see NSWiki). Our hosting facilities are as follows:
• Vs Big Pimento: Mayfair Stadium, Greater Liamist States. The home grounds for Liamist States Premier League and Liamist Club Cup champions Mayfair. Is sure to bring home some brilliant memories for captain Rod Manoni. Capacity: 45 000.
• Vs Lovisa: Adali Football Temple, Adali. A huge pyramidal stadium that is entirely enclosed by what was formerly a Liamist temple. Adali Fanatical calls this home and they have the best home record of any team. This could well be due to the mazelike design, massive pillars and dark lighting that the Fanaticals revel in but many teams seem to fear. Capacity: 55 000.
• Vs Gaian Ascendancy: LSMC Fairbank Football Grounds, Fairbank. A relatively new stadium, one built with the latest technology and designed by the chicest of architects. A beautiful piece of civil engineering. Capacity: 75 000.
• Vs Evalness: Trenport Football Fields, Trenport. One of the smaller District stadia, TFF looks like an average suburban football field, which it is. Capacity: 35 000.
• Vs Vilita: Liam Stadium, City de Liam. The biggest stadium in the Capital and the Liamist States. A classic structure, known throughout the lands for its sheer size and adaptability. Capacity: 120 000.
• Vs Oaker: Gradburg Worker’s Stadium, Gradburg. An impressive structure that is one of the few entirely iron structures in the Liamist States. It is sure to intimidate even the hardiest of footballers with its hard, dark lines. Capacity: 60 000.

The team is expecting no particular upsets or results except for four wins (against Gaian Ascendancy and Evalness) and eight losses. It is extremely unlikely we will outdo our ranking. The Marmadukes are expecting to re-learn the art of humility with this tournament.

Some random statistics for the Marmadukes:
Trophies:
*Baptism of Fire (Pre-WC21)

Overall:
P W D L F A GD
8 7 0 1 22 08 14

*Pre WC21 Baptism of Fire
*Qualifying Group 10 - Results
Win (3-0): Danieljoh, South Osettia
Win (2-1): Gaian Ascendancy, South Osettia
Win (5-0): Nify nick, South Osettia
Win (3-0): Krakatou, South Osettia
*Finals
Win (3-1): Anarquistan, South Osettia
Win (2-2): Naglegrad, South Osettia
Win (3-0): Chicanada, Vilita

*World Cup XXI
*Qualifying Group 10 - Draw
Loss (1-4): Vilita (2), Vilita
MD02: Big Pimento (49), GLS
MD03: Oaker (43), Oaker
MD04: Lovisa (13), Adali
MD05: Gaian Ascendancy (92), Fairbank
MD06: DAY OFF
MD07: Evalness (-), Trenport
MD08: Vilita (2), City de Liam
MD09: Big Pimento (49), Big Pimento
MD10: Oaker (43), Gradburg
MD11: Lovisa (13), Lovisa
MD12: Gaian Ascendancy (92), Gaian Ascendancy
MD13: DAY OFF
MD14: Evalness (-), Evalness

Top Scorers:
1. Hal Bell - 8
2. Christian Dressel - 6
3. Armand Iziary - 5
4. Rod Manoni - 2
5. Jackson Eaks - 1

Biggest Win: 5-0 Nifty nick, BoF Group
Biggest Loss: 1-4 Vilita, WC21 Group

Longest Winning Streak: 7
Longest Losing Streal: 1

Current Rank: 75th
Lowest Rank: 75th
Highest Rank: 75th

Eauz

22-02-2005, 05:32

Les Bleus not so impressive, MD1

World Cup 21 qualifying started this week, as group 9 finally got going. Les Bleus were at home, hosting a new team to the cup, from Talzeckia. Les Bleus have no real history of Talzeckia, and thus for coach Joseuf, he wanted to ensure that his team wasn’t caught in any surprise by using a more defensive 5 – 4 – 1 system. This was a rare time that Les Bleus changed their formation, from the usual 3 – 4 – 3 system. Eauz fans were everywhere, as they hoped to see their team improve on its standings from last cup. Some of the fans were wearing Anti-Vilita jerseys, in protest of the current situation between the two nations.

From the start, one could see this would be a defensive match for Eauz, as 8 minutes into the match, Talzeckia tried to cut through the iron curtain, but was brought down before they could get ¾ of the way through. Les Bleus got their first chance, on a break, with Alia getting pas the defenders, all alone. He sent the shot top corner, but it just missed, sailing over the top of the net at the 15th minute of play. Two minutes later, Les Bleus got another chance, as the Talzeckia defence, had trouble clearing the ball. Mendove got away with the ball, and sent a beautiful pass towards the centre, where Rousseau was waiting. Rousseau headed the ball, but the Talzeckia keeper was there to hold onto the ball. At the 30th minute of play, frustration was starting to build, as Les Bleus were finding it tough scoring a goal against Talzeckia, despite having many chances. D'Aubigne went in for a nasty challenge, and was booked with a yellow card. The referee must have been in a good mood, as D’Aubigne said a few choice words, but was not given a red card. Les Bleus finally found the back of the net, as Rousseau received a long pass from Vasser, and took it towards the net. Some how knowing Alia was behind him, he tossed it back, and let Alia rip one, sending it to the back of the net, giving the Talzeckian keeper no chance. Les Bleus went up 1 – 0 at the 38th minute of play. Half time wound down, and Les Bleus, despite the lone goal, were dominating the play, with a 78% possession rate.

The second half whistle blew, and fans were becoming anxious for more goals from their home team. Costé came close to a second goal, as he tried to get his foot out to deflect the ball, but was tied up with the Talzeckia defence, and the ball went out of play. The fat lady had yet to sing for Talzeckia though, as a bit of spirit seemed to show during the 67th minute of play, but the mid-fielder was unable to convert from short range, sailing it far wide. At the 70th minute, Vasser got hit hard with a nasty attack from the Talzeckian defence, and was limping around. Joseuf was worried, but after a few minutes on his feet, he was feeling better. More on that later. At the 84th minute of play, Rousseau received another long pass from Vasser, but was called offside, to the frustration of the team. The two teams would finish off the match, with Eauz having a clear possession rate of 69%.

As for Vasser, the doctors say he is fine, and that he just hit a sore spot. It would be like hitting your let with a hammer. With the time off between matches, Vasser can rest, and should not miss the next match day against Sjwitz. As for Sjwitz, Eauz has no real knowledge of this team. The little that we know, is that they are a very competitive team, and will be looking to sneak into the world cup. Their first match in this cup though, ended badly, as they lost 5 – 1 to Commerce Heights. Les Bleus will hope that they also have a good chance of winning against them, but Les Bleus will have to do it away from Le Stade d’Eauz, and into the screaming fans of Sjwitz stadium.

Group 9 P W D L GF-GAPts
Commerce Heights 1 1 0 0 5-1 3
The Eagles Nest 1 1 0 0 4-1 3
Eauz 1 1 0 0 1-0 3
Slaikau 0 0 0 0 0-0 0
Talzeckia 1 0 0 1 0-1 0
Gibberovia 1 0 0 1 1-4 0
Sjwitz 1 0 0 1 1-5 0

Match Day 1: Eauz vs. Talzeckia W 1 - 0
Match Day 2: Sjwitz vs. Eauz
Match Day 3: Eauz vs. Gibberovia
Match Day 4: Bye Period
Match Day 5: Eauz vs. Commerce Heights
Match Day 6: Slaikau vs. Eauz
Match Day 7: Eauz vs. The Eagles Nest

Match Day 8: Talzeckia vs. Eauz
Match Day 9: Eauz vs. Sjwitz
Match Day 10: Gibberovia vs. Eauz
Match Day 11: Bye Period
Match Day 12: Commerce Heights vs. Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz vs. Slaikau
Match Day 14:The Eagles Nest vs. Eauz

Liamist States

22-02-2005, 05:47

Bad Game!
Rainford Feigns Surprise
Press Conference

Sitting left to right: Illario Forster (Media), Rod Manoni (Captain), Hal Bell, Christian Dressel, Armand Iziary (Forwards), Jackson Eaks (Midfield), Mi Rainford Jr (Goalkeeper).

Wehling: Bad game, today, guys.

Rainford: Really?! I hadn’t noticed. I *swear*ing gave away more goals than ever before.

Bell: And I scored the least since my choking at the first game we played.

Eaks: If I hadn’t been so sick, I would’ve cried my way through.

Iziary: And if a certain fat media manager/contact could get his ass into gear, we wouldn’t have been in this mess (rolls eyes toward Forster).

Forster: I take no responsibility for your loss.

Iziary (mutters): Asshole…

Forster (whips head around): What?!

Iziary: Nothing, asshole.

Forster: OK…

Jardin (sweetly): So how are you now, Jackson?

Eaks (blushes): Fine thanks…I would’ve been ok if we hadn’t come by Pegasus.

Pickles: Are you going to recover as a team?

Rainford: I *swear*ing hope so.

Bell: Yeah, but it’s a little hard. Let’s face it, the BoF talent pool is nothing against top fifty teams. I mean, look at us today.

Manoni: Although Forster and Defino were responsible for a lot of that.

Iziary: Damn straight. Fat asshole.

(Forster seems unfazed)

Becraft: What can we expect from you against Big Pimento?

Dressel: A nice, roaring crowd on our side.

Rainford: A fairly decent defensive effort.

Bell: More attacking.

Manoni: An all round better effort from an organised and well rested team who will not have to rest on a military transport to get to their game.

(Eaks looks sick)

Jardin: You ok, baby?

(Eaks looks sick but with butterflies)

Jardin (smiles): Such a cutie.

Forster: Alright, before you two get it on in front of us, we'll go. Thanks ladies and gentlemen, hopefully well have something better for you tomorrow.

Praying2God

22-02-2005, 07:17

John Carlson (JC): Welcome Warriors fans from Giant Zucchini, where the Warriors will begin their quest to qualify for the WC XXI finals today against Giant Zucchini. GZ opened their qualifying attempt in the opening set of matches by getting routed by group favorite Turori 6-1. Joining me in the booth today, as always, are David Tall and Lisa Simonson.

David Tall (DT): Thanks, John. The Warriors certainly appear to be in a better position to try to qualify for this WC than they were when they made their stunning run at qualifying for the WC XX finals in their return to international soccer competition after a long absence. They came up just short, but they certainly provided the world with a warning that the Warriors can play some soccer. Nobody is going to overlook them in this WC.

Lisa Simonson (LS): That's right, honey. The Warriors took the international soccer world by surprise in the last WC, holding down a qualifying spot for several matches in the middle portion of qualifying, but eventually the big names realized they needed to get serious and outplayed the Warriors down the stretch.

DT: You can't argue, however, that that surprise run gave the Warriors invaluable experience to make a solid run in this WC.

JC: Being ranked 63rd in the world certainly won't hurt.

LS: It won't help too much either though, as most teams that qualify for the WC finals are ranked in (at least) the mid-40s at the start of the WC.

DT: However, you always seem to have one team that sort of seems to come out of nowhere to sneak into the group stage of the WC finals that is ranked lower than that, even though they generally get swept out of the finals in the group stage. One of these two teams is likely to be that team in this WC.

JC: Speaking of these two teams...What do expect to see in today's match?

DT: This should be a great match. GZ is going to come in either determined or demoralized after getting blown out in their opener. Which way they come in may determine how this match will turn out.

LS: I'm sure that GZ is going to come to play today, sweetie. It's their home opener, after all, and they can't afford to lose two straight matches to begin qualifying if they want to have any chance to qualify for the finals.

DT: However, the Warriors are going to come in with a lot of energy after their surprisingly strong performance in WC XX. They struggled in the second half of qualifying, but they've had plenty of time to get over that, and they're going to come out wanting to prove to the world that their WC XX performance was no fluke, and Head Coach Paul Johnson has them ready to do that.

JC: What are the keys to this match?

LS: For GZ, they need to forget what happened in Turori and focus on this match. They got the butterflys out of their system, and now it's time to prove that they have a chance to qualify. They'll probably try to slow this game down early to get some of their confidence back, and then apply the pressure later on. They have to keep the Warriors from getting on the board early to have a chance.

DT: For the Warriors, they're going to come out agressive to try to get an early goal to demoralize GZ. If Thomas Larson and Sarah Walker repeat their WC XX performances and show the improvements they've made since then, the Warriors should be in good shape. If the Warriors don't score early, expect them to fall back into a defensive style of play at some point to try to ensure that they come out of this match with at least one point.

JC: What are your predictions?

LS: GZ recovers from it's ugly opening loss and shuts down Larson and the rest of the Warriors offense. A goal about midway through the match gives GZ a 1-0 win.

DT: Oh, ye of little faith. The Warriors take care of business and score early, which will demoralize GZ. The Warriors will add more goals, as well as give up a meaningless late goal in a 3-1 Warriors victory.

JC: The defenses are certainly going to shine in this match. I expect that we'll see lots of misplays on both sides of the ball as this match ends up in a 0-0 draw. We need to go to commercial now, but we'll be back in time for the opening kick-off.

Gaian Ascendancy

22-02-2005, 07:42

((This is just Rp, not the real thing.. =^^= ))
-----

*Imperial Palace Tree; Excellency Office Chamber*

Aleaic and Tenchi were in Aleaic's working chambers, tending to the matters of the Senatoria. Several bills and such were before them, and they had been at if for a few hours.

..but one of the advantages of being in power, was the ability to have the latest entertainment equipment on demand, hence why the far west wall in the 300 square meter wide chamber, has a 1,307' SuperPlasma, Flat Screen TV. All the best of Home Theater equipment was wired in, in a small area to the right of the behemoth, and speakers were geinuously hidden throughout the chamber, with clear, holo-digital surround sound that could only exist in a Rp thread.

Sure, a holoscreen is all nice, but nothing still beats a hard signal feed upon a standard digital enhanced screen. All the movies and such were uploadable from the Palace Computer Core on a whim. Heck with discs...

..all not bad for the 'smaller' version. It was his working chambers after all. The big one was in the Family bedroom nearby.

2,507' Screen... =^^=

It was thus that the duo was shirking their duties for the moment, and catching up on international events and news.

As guys usually do, they gravitated to the sports channels. (...70 seperate sources of all kinds. Over a million channels each.

..there's a few they like. =^^= )

There they caught up on events from the days World Cup matches. Aleaic blinks. "Even Liamist got creamed? Dang we got troubles."

Tenchi quips over as a recap of the Squornshelousan match against Five Civilized Nations came up. "Sounds like they're taking it well. Wonder how we'll take it tomorrow."

Aleaic regretfully admits. "Like a crash patient taking it through a straw."

The two are watching the Eauz recap, when Washu suddenly walks in. The two see and suddenly FREEZE.

Washu sees this and FUMES. "Would you two stop doing that!" ..with an anime huff of anger. Tenchi replies. "Sorry."

Aleaic though asks. "We already had a check up last week."

Washu just laughs haugtily. "I'm not here about 'your' check up." She then walks past the two and enters through the door leading to the Family Chambers. Aleaic looks as she passes through and. "What the?"

Tenchi only shrugs. "False alarm I guess."

The two then turn back to a report about the Everlasting Friendship team, and continue on like this for awhile.

About ten minutes later, a SHREEK is head from the Family chamber, followed by a TON of female cheering, giggiling and general mayhem. Aleaic looks over.. "What the light is all that?!"

The two stand up and head into the Family Chamber.

They find Washu with Arashi, Tsunami, Misaki, Yurika, Megumi, Sasami, Ryoko, Misao and Isarra waiting. Aleaic just asks. "Did Ryoko spike the sake again?"

Suddenly Arashi rushes Aleaic and flings them both into a spin for a moment. Tenchi just steps out of the way, as Al asks. "Whoa whao whoa Lady. What.."

Arashi suddenly leans into and whispers into Aleaic's ear.

Aleaic turns white.

"Wha.......? You sure?"

Al looks at the others, mainly Tsui and Washu, with both (all in fact) nodding.

Aleaic loses his heartbeat. "Are you.........."

"Uhuh..." Arashi just replies.

Aleaic nods in sinc with Arashi..

..and then promptly faints.

Tenchi looks down with a cockeyed look. "You okay Al?"

Washu just jokes. "Oh, big boy will be fine. It's his second time around."

Tenchi looks up. "Second what time around?"

Arashi then pats her belly. "Just got the green.. or, um.. blue line really."

Tenchi blinks.... then blinks.... then BLINKS!! "You mean!?"

"I'm pregnant."

Tenchi nods and smiles and gives Arashi a hug.

Aleaic just lies on the Family Chamber floor with a drunken-like groan.

Liverpool England

22-02-2005, 07:43

Paul Dussis dies
Terminators to wear black armbands for next three qualifying matches as team win 2-1 on sombre note

The Terminators managed to win their first game 2-1 against Pubiconia but they had received some sombre news at half-time. Right before the game, FALE chief Gareth Dussis was see hurrying away from the stadium in his car. The news was broken at half-time by Dussis himself; his father, World Cup winner and ex FALE chief, Paul Dussis, had failed to come out of a coma after a heat stroke shortly after the WC20 Semi finals.

The score was 0-1 then; they had fallen behind to an early shock Pubiconian goal after a defensive mix-up found the ball in the net courtesy of Doug Freech's foot.

Immediately after the whistle was blown to start the second half, Freech regained his pride by setting up Frank Kushner, who struck home from 15 yards. The news then filtered in that the Pubiconians no longer had a country to return to (OOC: Mods DEAT the nation for offensive name/motto/currency), and the referee called time on play. Liverpool England were awarded a 2-1 win by the referee.

As far as this newspaper knows, the Pubiconians should be given an 80 point penalty. However, we are unsure if they will continue to play their matches, or if the group would have all its results against Pubiconia annulled, or given as a walkover.

South Osettia

22-02-2005, 10:51

There he was, right on time. As Emmett looked across the fountain, he could see Ubuloy standing by the steps of the Capitol Building, hands in pockets, wearing sunglasses so that nobody would recognize him. The man was a national legend through his goals for Maserrat, and now he was after Emmett’s job. He’d already foiled him once, but there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t try again. He was just waiting for Emmett to slip up, and then he’d be in there. Ubuloy spotted him from about ten yards off, and stared at him until he reached the steps.

“I’m glad you came, Emmett. I have something that needs discussing.”

“Can we get this over with please? Some of us have jobs to get back to.” He couldn’t resist getting that line in, and it caused Ubuloy obvious displeasure. But then he started to laugh, and he put his hand over Emmett’s shoulder. They walked into a small café, and took a table by the window. A waitress came over and read off some of the special offers, but Ubuloy stopped her mid-flow and ordered two cappuccinos. He waited until she had gone before speaking.

“I was sorry to hear about yesterday’s defeat.”

“Yeah well, Bedistan are ninth seeds, and I think 2-0 wasn’t too bad, considering they were at home and the difference between our two sides. We never really stood a chance, but at least we didn’t let them run us over.” The waitress returned with the cappuccinos, and both men thanked her.

“That is true – it looks like the extra training is paying off.”

“Shame that one of our guys doesn’t like the pay though.” Ubuloy frowned as he put his coffee cup down.

“You have heard then. Do you know who it is yet?”

“No. Price didn’t want to compromise his source.”

“I can help you there.” Emmett almost spat out his coffee. He put down his cup, also with a frown upon his face.

“It was you!?!” He lowered his voice, for some reason he was unaware of. “You’re the source!?!”

“Well, well, Emmett. It appears I have underestimated your logical ability. I congratulate you. Tell me, how much time have you spent looking for this player, when all the while I have been sitting patiently with the knowledge you so desire? Don’t you think the person in charge should know all of this?” Emmett could see where this was going.

“What’s it going to take for you to tell me?”

“Come on, Emmett. It doesn’t take a genius to work it out. The question is are you prepared to sacrifice your career to save your department from total embarrassment? Think about it: your reputation crushed, the laughing stock of world football. How many years do you think it will take to regain that trust…that respect? Ten years, a little less if you’re lucky. Think how much easier it would be for your friends and colleagues if this wasn’t to happen.” He pulled a document from his jacket pocket, which he opened and placed in front of Emmett.

“I can help you, Emmett. All you have to do is sign on the dotted line.” Emmett looked at the document. It was a letter that, when signed, would give all WCC powers to Ubuloy. It was effectively his letter of resignation.

“You’re crazy if you think I’m going to sign this.”

“Oh, you will sign it. There’ll come a point, when you’re department is on the brink of total collapse, when it’ll all be too much for you. Do you think you’ll be able to cope with that pressure? Do you have that strength?” Emmett leaned over the table and looked Ubuloy straight in the eye (or at least where his eye should have been – he was still wearing his sunglasses).

“You seem to forget, Qostaze – somebody tried to kill me four years ago. Do you really doubt the fact that I have the strength?” He tossed the document in Ubuloy’s face and left. Ubuloy watched him all the way, a smile spread wide across his face.

***

“Tom?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s a nine-letter word for ‘to get revenge’? Begins with ‘v’.”

“Vindicate.”

“Oh yeah…Tom?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s a five-letter word for ‘corresponding’?”

“Equal.”

“Oh yeah…Tom?”

“Polly, do you want me to do that crossword for you, or are you going to continue annoying me until Emmett gets back?” With no one in Emmett’s office to talk to, Polly had decided to move temporarily into Tom’s. To say he was less than pleased with the arrangement was an understatement.

“I just wanted somebody to talk to.”

“Well couldn’t you find someone who…you know…cares? I’m sure there are plenty of slackers in the department who would be more than willing to discuss that lame excuse for a crossword with you. I am not one of them!” Polly put down the crossword and stared at Tom.

“What?”

“I bet you’re really a big teddy bear. You’re just afraid to show your feelings.”

“Believe me, I’m not. See, I’m angry at the moment, can you sense it?”

“Why are you angry?”

“Well, you see, there’s this annoying assistant who, I hasten to add, is not my assistant, who’s decided to take up residence in my office, and is continually trying to force me to throttle her so that she can claim compensation or something. Where the hell did Emmett find you?”

“He didn’t. I found him.”

“That explains a lot of things. Now, can you please go away – I have work to do.” Polly got up and was just about to leave when she spun around.

“Before I go, what’s another word for - ”

“Go!!!” It seemed like only a couple of seconds to Tom between Polly leaving and Cathy turning up outside his door.

“Any luck with the whole wage thing?”

“No, nobody wants to talk. It’s like a conspiracy - all the players are covering each other’s backs.”

“At least it shows that there’s some camaraderie in the camp.” Tom looked up.

“Yes, that’s so very nice to know, isn’t it?”

“I’m sensing a little sarcasm here.”

“You think!?! Some jumped-up little pretty boy is gonna publicly admonish us for not giving him enough money, as if nine hundred thousand kugra a year is too little for anybody to live on. It’ll be bad for us because it makes us look like we can’t control our players, it’ll be bad for the player, because he’ll be laughed out of the building and it’ll be bad for the team, because we’ll have to kick him out of the squad!”

“Well when you put it like that…”

“Exactly! So excuse me if I’m not in the mood for jokes and…and crosswords!”

“Crosswords?”

“Don’t ask.”

***

“Hey Emmett, you’re back!” Danny didn’t want to say that he had been waiting for him to get back since about five o’clock, when he left.

“Hey, Danny. Has everyone been good while I’ve been gone?”

“Well, Tom shouted at Polly and Cathy, something to do with a crossword apparently, and Hugh broke the water cooler – you might want to avoid the canteen for a while – but other than that, everything’s been fine. So what did Ubuloy want?” Emmett snorted.

“You’re not gonna believe this. He actually asked me to resign.”

“He did?”

“Yeah – you know this whole wage thing that’s going on? He was the source, and he said he’d be willing to sort it out if I let him have my job.”

“The guy’s a nutcase.”

“That, my friend, is so very true. What progress have we made in finding the player?”

“None.”

“None…whatsoever?”

“Nope.”

“What have you guys been doing while I was gone?”

“Did I mention the crossword and water cooler?”

“Oh right. Look we’ve gotta find this player before he shoots his mouth off. We need to get someone down there to talk to the coach.”

“I think this is a job for - ”

“So do I. Polly!”

Sjwitz

22-02-2005, 13:00

From the Daily NewSjwitz:

Eauz weakened, Sjwitz powered up.

"Our trainings have been very succesfull, the team is now ready for their first home match at the stadium of FC Rinûll. Unfortunately there are only 23k places and those tickets have all been sold out. The match will be broadcast however and we expect that there will be only a few people not watching the game. The team itself is really motivated, the mental coach has done great some great work after the unfortunate 5-1 loss to Commerce Heights and we've been training real hard to make sure we can keep the points at home. It will be hard, but we'll try. The formation has not changed, except for the fact that ofcourse Roman Bingk is now back. He has recovered from his flight to Cockbill Street. Also, Stomp and DiLuciano will now frequently switch places.", explained a smiling coach Schmidt.

The formation against Eauz should look like this:

Blurr

Svensson Hamm Jolt Steiger

Morrgh
Stomp < - > DiLuciano
Johnson Sjwitzer

Bingk

From Eauz' side, we've only heard that Vasser might be injured, Eauz sources deny this fact and say he will play for sure, but he did get a mighty blow from the Talzeckian defence in their moderate 1-0 victory over Talzeckia and other, neutral sources are saying he'll probably stay on the bench. As for Sjwitz, there are no injuries.

So, forecast is good, the Sjwitz team has never been better, but ofcourse, Eauz is still the best team in the group and should, just based on their rank, still win.

Betting odds:
Sjwitz - Eauz
1: 19/2 --- x: 7/1 --- 2: 3/1

Eauz

22-02-2005, 16:13

Travelling to Sjwitz

Les Bleus will be travelling to Sjwitz, who apparently have existed in the Region of FIFA for a some time. This means, Les Bleus will not have to travel too far, to meet up with them. When they travel to Sjwitz, they will be faced with a vicious number of excited football fans. This nation seems to love its football, but has mainly focused in the past on local football. Being at home, and coming off their first world cup qualifying loss, they will be seeking a chance to pull off a victory against Eauz.

With all the news swarming around Vasser, the long periods off between the qualifying matches, has helped Vasser improve, and he will be in the matches, despite allegations from other papers, that Vasser will not play. Vasser said: “Yeh, I am feeling great right now, and it was just a little injury. I will be there for match day 2 in Sjwitz. This match should be a fairly exciting match, as both teams will be looking to get out of a “slump” per say. Les Bleus only managed 1 goal, and Sjwitz got pounded 5 – 1.

OCC: Hey Sjwitz, I never knew you were from Belgium, I lived there for a year, in the southern half (because I speak french), but it's a nice country.

Jeruselem

22-02-2005, 16:33

Jeruselem Government News

World Cup XXI starts!

It's world cup time again and Jeruselem are as usual it in for the torture. As normal, Jeruselem gets placed in Group 1 but something's wrong. No Crystils or Iansisle? It can't be! Well it is.

Let's review the group!

Leading the way is EL CID THE HERO and One Red Dot, both well known World Cup veterans. We have NEVER played EL CID THE HERO before, but bumped into One Red Dot earlier when they were a struggling young soccer power. These two will be the top dogs and we need to beat them to have any chance of being 3rd in the group.

Lykaia and Antaeus Rising are ranked below us and we have played them before too. We do remember Antaeus Rising in one of our world cup campaigns. Lykaia aren't expected to trouble us too much but you never know. Antaeus Rising weren't the team they used to be but they are here.

Newcomers Danieljoh and Krazie join the group and are expected to act as the Group anchors.

Group 1
EL CID THE HERO
One Red Dot
Jeruselem
Lykaia
Antaeus Rising
Danieljoh
Krazie

Did we tell you, Match day 1 is done? Any upsets? No, just the routine! Jeruselem have a good 3-0 win over Krazie, but we were expected to win or we would look like idiots. One Red Dot scraped a win over Danieljoh 2-1 when El Cid won another battle 2-0 against Antaeus Rising.

Group 1
EL CID THE HERO - Antaeus Rising 2-0
One Red Dot - Danieljoh 2-1
Jeruselem - Krazie 3-0

Sjwitz

22-02-2005, 16:38

From the Daily NewSjwitz:

Last Minute Extra Safety Measures

Not that the Eauz fans are known to be extremely violent, but since the tension in Sjwitz is building up fast and since that the match has to be played in the somewhat smaller arena of FC Rinûll. Police have taken extra safety measures. 500 Policemen have been added to the safety crew. (Voluntarily, since they get to be in the stadium.) Question is if they will be 'working' ofcourse.

Meanwhile the Betting odds have changed a little, since Eauz' Vasser is confirmed to be on the starting lineup. His injury is said to be healed completely.

New Betting Odds:
Sjwitz - Eauz
1: 21/2 --- x: 8/1 --- 2: 5/2

Sonaron

22-02-2005, 17:47

Stadium Riots Lead to Firings
Rhovani Stadium Authority asked to stay on until new group found

Due in large part to their extreme mis-handling of the upcoming World Cup Qualifying match against Nova Britannicus, the Rhovani Stadium Authority (RSA) was fired today. Pride officials note that their severance package, for an undisclosed amount, is contingent upon them assisting in the operation of the stadium until a new group can be found. In addition, team officials stated that they will have absolute control over major decisions such as ticket policy and stadium construction while the search for a new stadium manager proceeds. Pride officials are hopeful that they will be able to replace the RSA shortly, although they refused to comment on any possible candidates for the post.
---

From: Coach Jacques Raizor, Program Manager, Sonaron Pride
To: International Football Community
RE: Stadium Management

We have recently had severe problems with the group orginially charged with building and maintaining our stadium in Rhovani. As this is our only stadium available for international play of any scale, we felt it necessary to immediately remove them from day-to-day decision making. As a result, we are in urgent need of an experienced stadium manager to assist with the balance of World Cup 21 Qualifying. We are willing to discuss a longer-term posting at the conclusion of Qualifying, contingent upon your performance over our remaining postings.

Send inquires and resumes to Jacques Raizor, c/o Sonaron Pride football.

Jacques Raizor
Head Coach and Program Manager
Sonaron Pride Football

Rejistania

22-02-2005, 18:22

(a while before the start of the qualifiers)
We are in the room/cave/hole of Siki Rej, the coach of the Orange-Blues and the programmer of the Hexatux
SR: Hey Teke!
TD: Hello Mr. Rej!
SR: I know why you are here in the hacker's lair! But I need that much coffee, don't try to shorten my ration!
TD: I did not attempt to...
SR: Oh you are interested in this? (hands a paper)
TD: I assumed you'd be ready earlier but okay...
SR: Okay, then tell me what you want!
TD: To tell you the list of groups...
SR: NOW already?
TD: I think you forgot the date...
SR: We have mid-Tasarije-month
TD: Late Hanukije-month...
SR: oops! Time flies when coding.
TD: Yes, at least if one is a socially challenged, computer programming, life lacking nerd.
SR: That is redundant.
TD: But true!
SR: quite, yeah... Jie... tell me in which group the lasane is.
TD: 11 (hands Siki Rej a list)
SR: Ha... Svecia, Wella, Raptor Claw... might have a chance... I mean the Svecians didn't offer us an easy match but the others...
TD: Don't spread confidence, we are Rejistanian
SR: Right would be atypical... maybe playoffs
TD: maybe

Rejistania

22-02-2005, 19:18

When Giant, Flying Animals attack

The Giant Flying not-really-birds of Pterodactyl came to Matix kali, Matix Omeh Stadium for their match against the Orange-Blues. Despite many races in NationStates, the Pterodactyls are really uncommon so you could expect people to stare at them. Since the Pterodactyls were not allowed to fly during the match, they had no tactical advantage due to their strange species.

The Orange-Blues played "rejistanian all out attack" (i.e. System Imdila, for non-Rejistanis know as 4-4-2). The Giant not-really-birds needed some time to adopt to that unexpected tactic, time which Syku Lyku needed to bring the Orange-Blues ahead. Jariakeledema Ky-Inidiviayu was able to increase the lead even further in the 35th minute after a defensive error of the guests. The guests were really surprised that the stadium speaker could pronounce the name of the rejistani. The Orange-Blues concentrated after that on defending their 2:0 lead over the time. An unexpected attack in the second half led to the 3:0 after a header of Lyku'he.

The result:
Rejistania 3 (Lyku 4th 64th, Ky-Inidiviayu 35th)
Pterodactyl 0

Fmjphoenix

22-02-2005, 19:58

Vikings drawn into Group 5, bye first week

With a bye in its first week, the Fmjphoenix Vikings were given eaxtra time to prepare for its fourth venture into the NS World Cup. The Vikings were drawn into Group 5 for its second time, but the competition in this group looks much different from the last Group 5. Here was the draw:

Group 5
Squornshelous
Iansisle
The Belmore Family
Fmjphoenix
Five Civilized Nations
Bryn Shander
Nifty nick

Every team in the group is a new team to face except for Five Civilized Nations, as the Vikings played them in one match in the Cup of Harmony XII, which the Vikings won 2-1. The most immediate threats for Fmjphoenix, is obvioulsy the three teams seeded higher, those being Squornshelous, Iansisle, and The Belmore Family. The three teams seeded below Fmjphoenix could prove to be troublesome, especially FCN, as they have already played the Vikings and could take advantage of any mistakes they make. All in all, qualification is not out of the question, but will be much harder, as if they wish to garuntee it, they must take second in the group, which would be a very tough challenge, but Coach Wash has said that his team is up to it.

"The guys here know this is going to be a hard qualification. We are now ranked the highest we have been since we have entered into the World Cup. Its our fourth entry, and some things are becoming expected of us. Its now up to us to make sure those things happen." Wash reported after a tough practice and scrimage against the Under 21 squad. With the bye week over, the Vikings are prepared to head to Five Civilized Nations for their first match. They hope to do the same thing they did in the Cup of Harmony when they last faced FCN, and that is win.

Fmjphoenix Qualification Run:
MD01: --Bye--
MD02: Fmjphoenix @ Five Civilized Nations
MD03: Fmjphoenix vs Bryn Shander
MD04: Fmjphoenix @ Nifty Nick
MD05: Fmjphoenix @ The Belmore Family
MD06: Fmjphoenix vs Squornshelous
MD07: Fmjphoenix @ Iansisle
MD08: --Bye--
MD09: Fmjphoenix vs Five Civilized Nations
MD10: Fmjphoenix @ Bryn Shander
MD11: Fmjphoenix vs Nifty Nick
MD12: Fmjphoenix vs The Belmore Family
MD13: Fmjphoenix @ Squornshelous
MD14: Fmjphoenix vs Iansisle
Record 0-0-0

After compiling their schedule, Coach Wash and his staff have stressed to his team that they need to build momentum early. Fmjphoenix will have the three teams seeded lower than them for their first three matches. It is here where Wash stressed the most needed teamwork and chemisty. Once they are able to come together and play together with against teams they are being expected to beat, then they can play together against the teams they will have to truely fight to beat. This is the test for Fmjphoenix, as they are hard pressed for some satisfaction, fans and the FAF included.

Lethislavania

22-02-2005, 22:04

Matchday 1 over, scores coming soon.

Starblaydia

22-02-2005, 23:42

"...and there we see two Starblaydi legends, Simone Di Bradini and Nikola Lazerevski, they seem to be enduring this frankly atrocious game better than most Starblaydis I see here tonight. But there it is, the final whistle, and Starblaydia have been felled by one goal to nil by the 'mighty' Allanea. Trefor, let's get the hell out of this..."

The boos rang out from the Starblaydi section of the crowd as the referee blew the final whistle to close out a dire ninety minutes. The men in white-and-purple trudged off the pitch, attempting to applaud their fans for the support, but receiving jeers and general disgust from the few fans who hadn't left the game early.

"Well," Simeone said, getting up from his chair, "Guylain's gonna get slaughtered by the press."

"I may just slaughter him myself," Nikola replied, screwing up his match ticket and dropping it to the floor, "Nil-Nil would have been a fair reflection on this game, but that goal with the last kick in injury time was just... ugh."

As they walked back through the warmth of the VIP section in the Allanean stadium, they passed a group of Starblaydi supporters who appeared equally as disgusted with their team's performance.

"...absolute crap, that's what it was. Hey! Its Di Bradini and Lazerevski!" The man ran over, only separated from the two stars by a barrier. "I wish you two were still playing for us, we'd have creamed them ten-nil!"

"Thanks, guys," Simeone said, signing a few autographs, "let's hope we get a better performance next time."

"Performance?" One supporter was stunned. "Bugger that, we want three points, that's what N'Dizzy was talking about last match, not frickin' namby-pamby performances."

"C'mon guys," Simeone replied, gesturing to himself and 'Laser', "we've got to be diplomatic here, we didn't play well and we didn't get the result, but its still early days yet."

"That sounds like a manager talking," one of the fans muttered, "a bad one."

"Now look here you," Nikola interrupted, glaring at the man, "you just try keeping a team in the Stellar division when your two best kids get bought by other teams. Now shut up and support your country, for crying out loud."

For a moment it seemed as if Nikola was going to assault the fans, so Simeone stepped neatly between them, adding his not-inconsiderable physical presence to the metal barrier between 'Laser' and the fans. He signed his last autograph and pulled Nikola away from the confrontation.

"Never a Dave Bentley to pull you away from a fight when you need one, eh, Nik?" Simeone tried to make light of the situation.

Nikola could only smile. "You know what's coming next," he asked, "don't you?"

"Yes, yes," Simeone acknowledged, "I know the press as well as you do. If Guylain doesn't hammer Rittarstan, he's gone."

Legalese

22-02-2005, 23:50

"Welcome to the Nightly Sports Report, here on the Lancer Sports Network. I'm David Lee. Tonight, we have the results of the smackdown in San Verdi, as Legalese opens up their qualifying efforts with a 7-1 victory over the relative newcomers. Let's go to the highlights."

"We have the fourth incarnation of the Legalese Men's National Team, with a few new faces. Most notably, Mark Dasherson's there in the goal, after the retirement of keeper Tommy Walters. Completing the lineup were Templar, Smith, Gergen, and Donaldson in the back; Manchev, Crail, Dicello, and Cato in the middle, and Jonny Lambert up front with Van Waert, making his debut for the nationals."

"It wouldn't take long for Waert to get his first piece of action, thanks to a well-placed chip by Carlos Manachev. Van gets around the defender, and the shot, for Legalese's first tally. Lambert and Manachev would also both score in the frist 30 minutes."

"Then, with a 3-0 lead, another work of beauty develops, with some total-field play by the Black and Red. Dasherson makes the save, dribbling the ball out of the back, until he hits a crossing Earl Smith. Smith beats a forward, getting the ball up to Icello Dicello, who spins around for a bit, finally crossing to Julius Crail. Crail hits a quick header, and Jonny Lambert's off to the races. He gets to the goal area, but wait! He deals the ball off to the back, Winslow Gergen, who made the unnoticed run for goal number four."

"Manager Robbie heard made some changes after the break, getting both Jack Smythe and Maj Mij some playing time. The move for Mij would pay off for the newcomer, as we see this devastating free kick for the goal, 5-0 Legalese."

"The Black and Red would tack on two more goals, while San Verdi would knock one in late on Tanner Studebaker, resulting in a 7-1 victory for Legalese."

"Here's what Robbie Heard had to say at the end:"

Well, that was a good way to start things here. With the schedule we have, a good start will be imperative. It'll be nice to come home for our second match, and see where we can go from there.

"Let's take a quick look at the standings here:

Group 2 P W D L GF-GAPts
Crystilakere 2 2 0 0 8-0 6
The Lowland Clans 2 1 1 0 4-2 4
Legalese 1 1 0 0 7-1 3
Sarzonia 1 1 0 0 2-0 3
Murflonia 2 0 1 1 2-7 1
Everlasting Friendship 2 0 0 2 0-4 0
San Verdi 2 0 0 2 1-10 0

"We have Legalese in third at the moment, but it's too early to tell what will happen. The qualifying run will continue for the Black and Red here in Legalese, as they take on Murflonia. We'll be back, after a word from our sponsors."

Spurland

23-02-2005, 00:16

Spurland Start With Disappointing Draw
Kipto-Mare 1 v 1 Spurland

Spurland, playing away from home, managed to secure a point in a game in which the deserved all three. With a total of 15 shots on target for the away team, in the first half alone, Spurland were unluckl to be more to go into the half only on goal up. The goal, came from a mistake by the Kipto-Mare keeper, which was his only mistake, in what was a near perfect game from him. Hashish was the Spurland player to score, which the Kipto-Mare keeper let slip through his hands.

Kipto-Mare scored early in the second half, after some brilliant build up play. But this was only one of their total 3 shots on target for the game.

"Bloody lucky is what they were," commented Spurland Manager "We could have won that game a good ten nil if any luck came our way.

"Usually my strikers would have scored those chances in their sleep... blindfolded."

Spurland face Anarguistan at home next in what should be an easy win for the Spurs.

Fixtures/Results:
MD01: -
MD02: Kipto-Mare v Spurland D 1-1
MD03: Spurland v Anarguistan
MD04: Karkatou v Spurland
MD05: Krytenia v Spurland
MD06: Spurland v Dance 2 Revolution
MD07: Spaam v Spurland
MD08: -
MD09: Spurland v Kipto-Mare
MD10: Anarguistan v Spurland
MD11: Spurland v Karkatou
MD12: Spurland v Krytenia
MD13: Dance 2 Revolution v Spurland
MD14: Spurland v Spaam

Nova Britannicus

23-02-2005, 00:32

Two for Two
Navy-Blues lead Group heading into Bye Week

"Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya?"

"Where the fuckin' 'ell's the roof? Where the fu-ckin' 'ell's the roof?"

"Shit Ground, No Fans! Shit Ground, No Fans!"

Despite the obvious lack of a roof over the Rhovani Stadium, providing almost no shelter for the fans, the Twelve-thousand or more Britannicans who actually made it into Sonaron's premier football stadium were generally pleased with their performance as they opened up a three-point gap on the rest of Group Four, after only a second game.

It's the Navy-Blues two clean-sheets in their first two games that has really put a smile on Jean-Paul Georges-Ringeaux's face. Such a great defensive display bu the Britannican back-five has even earned Nick 'the Cat' Cavaletti the interest of the Faasen Oranges of Melmond. They have allegededly offered the thirty-one year-old Goalkeeper a good deal to go to the Oranges, but his club, Iskara Daii, look to be light on 'keepers and will not sell him without a suitable replacement.

Nova Britannicus (4-3-3): Cavaletti, Monterrey, Ximbod, Johnson, Gooner, Lamphear (Quick 71), Powers, Cochran , Pompey (Ferguson 88), Jones (Manney 78), La Salle.
Goal: Cochran 21

"..was that alright, Mister Worsley?"

"Call me Charlie, love," he replied, sitting up in the hospital bed, "you have a lovely speaking voice."

Getting the Nurse to read him the report of the match hadn't been difficult, even though she did stumble over the more technical terms, like 'offside' and 'defence'. He'd managed to lose himself in a series of fights outside the stadium. Charlie had a valid ticket, of course, he just couldn't help being dragged into it. He was handy with his knuckles, after all. At least he'd spend the next week or so recovering in hospital. And the uniforms those nurses wore. Brilliant, just like the Navy-Blues.

Sonaron

23-02-2005, 01:57

Sonaron Still Searching
Come up just short of the home win, but still have their first ever major brawl
Rhovani Stadium was bursting at the seams with fans for the Pride's World Cup Qualifying home opener. When Sandra Carter intercepted a pass at midfield in the fourth minute and laced the ball to Engel streaking up the sidelines, the crowd was ready to burst with excitement. Unfortunately, Engel was flagged offsides, in a disputed call that prompted an outburst of profanity from Coach Raizor and many of the home fans. The Navy-Blues quickly re-asserted control over the game, with Cochran scoring in the twenty-first minute. The Pride tried several times, but never got any truly good chances. A corner kick in the seventy-third minute was easily swallowed by the Navy-Blues' phenomenal keeper, Cavaletti.

Despite the loss, the Pride remain in fourth place in their division based on tie breakers, though there are four teams tied with 3 points. Coach Raizor was unavailable for comment after the game, but a statement released through his spokesperson notes, "You simply can't expect to consistently beat top-50 teams in your first trip to the World Cup. I'm extremely proud of our defense for holding the Navy-Blues to one goal. Shana [Robinson, the goalkeeper] has been playing extremely well. If we can keep our play at this level, we will definately make waves in group 4."

Twenty-seven men, mostly from the suburbs of Rhovani, are being held in custody tonight in connection with a post-game brawl. According to reports, a group of inebriated Sonaronians assaulted some of the Britannicans who were watching the game on screens outside the stadium. Officials refused to release the number of people injured, or even any names or nationalities, although sources claim as many as fifteen to twenty persons had to be taken to local hospitals. Pride officials have stated that security will be increased for the next home match, several weeks away versus Haperd.

Goals:
Nova Britannicus: Cochran (21')
Sonaron: none

Fouls: NB 5 Sonaron 8
Cards: NB None Sonaron Carter, T (Yellow-67')
TOP: NB 57% Sonaron 43%

Pride (1-0-1 E, 4th place) Schedule:
WC XXI Group 4
MD01: @ Kylaai (W 2-1)
MD02: v Nova Britannicus (L 0-1)
MD03: @ Audioslava
MD04: v Haperd
MD05: --REST DAY--
MD06: v Funny Looking Islands
MD07: @ Oceaice
MD08: v Kylaai
MD09: @ Nova Britannicus
MD10: v Audioslava
MD11: @ Haperd
MD12: --REST DAY--
MD13: @ Funny Looking Islands
MD14: v Oceaice

Bedistan

23-02-2005, 02:26

The Bedistan Sports Digest

Scare in Oliverry
Green-Blues pull out three points, just barely

OLIVERRY -- The Bedistani team was expected to create a rather large victory over the new team from Oliverry. They would end up finding this task a great deal more difficult than they'd planned, as they ended up just squeaking by with a 1-0 result over Oliverry.

The Bedistani midfield was the definite weak point in this match, as Carl Chapman and Kelly Bowden just didn't seem to be able to put much pressure on the opposition. Oliverrian striker Living Inamerica was living large as he peppered the Bedistani goal with several shots in the first half. Once again, kudos go to Nick Reagan for doing a fantastic job between the posts, showing why Melmondian club Lee Grays saw fit to buy him from Yuba United. Bedistan's strike force was almost wholly untested in the first half, as the ball almost never left the Green-Blues' half of the pitch. The score at halftime was 0-0.

Realizing that changes needed to be made, new national team member Zack Martínez was brought onto the pitch for a tiring 36-year-old Xavier Parks on the right wing. Coach Mike Davidson also told his wingers to take a slightly more defensive stance, as Bedistan's three-man defense needed some bolstering in order to counter Oliverry's near-suicidal 2-5-3 tactic. Surprisingly, though, for only having two men on the back line, Oliverry's defense held up fairly well to a resurgent Bedistan in the second half. Unfortunately, Pedro Garand would be the first to slip up, failing to make an important tackle on Alejandro Vantrease. Vantrease has been making headlines worldwide with his incredible performance at Turoki Isle last year, silencing naysayers who previously thought of him as rubbish. Indeed, his performance in the Stellar Division immediately resulted in two new high points in his career: a transfer to near-perennial Stellar Division champions Yeaddin Owls AFC and a selection for the Bedistan national team -- not as a substitute, but going directly to the starting eleven! I digress, though. Garand's failed dispossession attempt allowed Vantrease a clear shot on goal, which he duly converted for 1-0 in the 62nd minute. Oliverry tried their damnedest to make a comeback, but Bedistan's now strengthened defense was not going to have any of that. The home team didn't even get a glimpse of the goal in the final half-hour.

While Bedistan has now won both opening matches, many still say they are not performing at the level of a top-10 team. To which I say, this is qualifying. We never do as well as we're expected to do in qualifying. Get over it, and wait for the World Cup proper if you want to see some real Bedistani football.

Final score:
Oliverry 0
Bedistan 1 (Vantrease 62)

Chicanada

23-02-2005, 02:39

InterCanton Press

Chicanada comes up even shorter at home

Chicanada [2] [3] Nonesuch Street
Westington (2) (15) Nonesuch Street (1) (26)
Kozten (1) (47) Nonesuch Street (1) (78)
Nonesuch Street (1) (84)

Finnen, Bishop Canton:

Even with a step forward, penalty kicks continue to kill the Kodiaks.

Having a 2-1 lead with twelve minutes left in the match, Chicanada made too many costly errors and let Nonesuch Street roar back with a 3-2 victory.

"Unacceptable" was what Coach Viladetta said to the press after the match, "Especially considering how matches went in the group (referring to Allanea's upset victory over Starblaydia at home), the result and play by our team is unacceptable."

Things did look good for a while, as Chicanada took a 2-1 with Weston Kozten's kick barely crossing into the goal at the 47th minute of the match. But Kozten's bounce of the ball out of bounds created an excellently played Nonesuch Street goal in the 78th minute to tie the match. Playing far more preventative defense than normal, Loeb Noemi received a yellow card for tripping at the 84th minute giving Nonesuch Street a penalty kick that worked to their advantage.

Coach Viladetta and the team said very little after the match, which dropped them to 6th in the group after two games. No word on how many changes to the lineup will occur on the flight to their next match, but word is many changes will be happening.

The Kodiaks are off to Hiiraan for their third match of qualifying. The match is scheduled for 2000 CST and will be carried live by Canal4 and Northern. Most football pitches will be open after CFF matches to show the game live.

The official schedule for Chicanada Qualifying
(Home team is listed on the left side)

MD01 @ Starblaydia (L 1-2)
MD02 v Nonesuch Street (L 2-3)
MD03 @ Hiiraan (Kilimanjaro Kilp Stadium, somewhere in Hiiraan)
MD04 v Melmond (Township Plaza Grounds, Douala)
MD05 v Allanea (Shoreline Pitch, Livingston)
MD06 -
MD07 v Rittarstan (Ministry Fieldhouse, Paradiso)
MD08 v Starblaydia (TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD09 @ Nonesuch Street
MD10 v Hiiraan (Easten National Arena, Eastentown)
MD11 @ Melmond
MD12 @ Allanea
MD13 -
MD14 @ Rittarstan

Oliverry

23-02-2005, 03:03

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/Oli55/Image3.png

Oliverry lost another game

They lost to Bedistan, one of the favourites of the tournament, 1-0.

"It was a good performance" stated the coach of the team.

Vantrasee scored for Bedistan at the 62th minute of the game and that scelled the end of the game. Richard Glannois was really decepted by the goal he let enter.

The population doesn't love soccer much as, in the big Marshalliston Stadium that can home 100,000 people in it. Only 9,834 people were in the stadium, which led the authorities to say to the people in the stadium to go in the front seats for the home team to understand more what the crowd chanted. But, like we said earlier, it wasn't enought and the Oliverrians lost.

Gaian Ascendancy

23-02-2005, 03:57

~ Rough times continue for Gaian Seraphims. ~

Group 10
Liamist States - Big Pimento 3-3
Gaian Ascendancy - Vilita 0-2
Evalness - Lovisa 0-5

Group 10 P W D L GF-GAPts
Vilita 2 2 0 0 6-1 6
Lovisa 2 2 0 0 7-0 6
Oaker 1 1 0 0 1-0 3
Big Pimento 1 0 1 0 3-3 1
Evalness 2 0 0 2 0-6 0
Gaian Ascendancy 2 0 0 2 0-4 0
Liamist States 2 0 1 1 4-7 1

GUNN Sports Desk: ~ Day two ran into the same as day one did for the Gaian team. The Seraphims got taught another lesson by the second best team in the world, Vitilia.

This time the Vitilians simply drummed the ball past Gaian defenders, and Gaian Strikers were out played to the ball, not even getting off a shot in the game on goal.

25th and 37th minutes were the goal times, as Vitilian Strikers showed their all, and the Gaian team showed their inexperience. The Gaian team reserved comment this day, citing not much new to say verses yesterday.

Simply however, unless the Gaians can pull it together, they may not score a goal, much less a tie or win in this Cup. Their next match against Big Pimento may represent a decent chance at at least the above. However the team still has decent spirits, and move on to their next match.

Krytenia

23-02-2005, 05:13

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Kraks In The Defence

ONE game, four goals, three points. Krytenia have the perfect start in Group Seven with a four-nil thumping of Krakatou at Buryfields in Stanton. Phillip Neasden served up a tasty brace, with Dave Van Staveren and Keith Xousa helping themselves to a goal each.

A rest day for Matchday Two means the Caledonians will be raring to go in their next game against Kipto-Mare. The 'Mares picked up their first point last time out in a one-all draw with a rusty Spurland.

KRYTENIA - 4
Neasden 21, 78
Van Staveren 36
Xousa 66

KRAKATOU - 0

QUALIFYING SCORERS
P. Neasden - 2
D. Van Staveren - 2
K. Xousa - 1

Hiiraan

23-02-2005, 05:31

Hiiraan Looks Forward To An Injured Team To Arrive.
Allenea Surprises Starblydia.

Among 12 nations who had bye today, The Hiiraanian crowd watched as the "Starblydian Superpowers" crumbled in front of the United States of Allanea. The Starblydian Players were among nations who were as believed from the start over-confident of themselves. The Hiiraanian coach new this and that is exactly why he was happy to have his bye at the beginning so he can put the players through a regiment and a test instead of a resting them in the middle of their groove. Chicanda, who plans to come to Hiiraan and take their chance at Hiiraan at the Kilimanjaro Kilp Stadium, one of the 5 new stadiums build in Hiiraan in the last 6 years.

The Chicandan who are at one place above the bottom were playing selfishly, as one SC analyst said, "The Kodiaks, as they call them selves took to many flashes at their BoF debut, that would clearly explain their blindness to see reality in the real world." As the analyst said that, he co-analyst broke his statement by asking him how they could get out of that. He bluntly answered: "Either they must realize reality now or stop taking cameras and flashes to their games and accept their place in the football world, which is truly on the bottom" he said "which is exactly where they belong" he added.

Other Analyst Looked at Chicanda as Gathering threat, "They may lose here and then" one journalist said "but they are truly on top of their game, admired by their people and why not admire them, they are on top of their game." he added, assuring the fans that above Starblydia and Melmond could be the highly unsuspected.

The Coach at his usual Day to day press Conference said "We should get out of our one faced look and see chicanda as full threat and look at their defeat or either their victory over us, this is not a team to be taken lightly" but as many analyst have said that the coach went one step and said "we will let the game do the talking for us, we assure we will not come out the losers, in fact we will try all we can to disrupt the game and win by the highest margin."

Many have said Chicandan are trash, many have added more and said they are bad at the pitch but they are good when it comes to when needed for them and many have went beyond that and said Hiiraan can only win if it play it hardest and many have went on the far left and said if Hiiraan losses it will be another year of over-hyped Hiiraan however, many fans have listened to all sides and have secretly and clearly set their mood of the game as one spectator said "we shall see when the game is over" and this newspaper is taking that side and will wait for the results of the game to see what Chicanda will do and or how the Hiiraanians will respond.

Liamist States

23-02-2005, 06:42

Pimento Put Through Paces
Paskell Loses Team Two Points
Ted Wehling, Liamist States Times

It was indeed a much more favourable atmosphere for the Marmadukes as their crowd warmed up for the match. For the first time, the Liamist States was hosting an international match on their home soil. The Marmadukes and Marmaduketeers were both hoping for the same result: a win. Although Big Pimento are ranked forty-ninth in the world and are some twenty-six places above the Liamist States, this hope may have been a little further away than was possible to achieve. Certainly, on home soil and not having arrived twenty minutes before the match, the Marmadukes were expected to play substantially better then they did against Vilita.

With a capacity Mayfair crowd behind them, the Marmadukes came out onto the pitch, ready to do battle. Big Pimento looked as if this would be a walk over and judging by the expressions of the Marmadukes, they weren’t about to let that happen. Big P began with the kick-off and the match was underway.

The first half of the game was a battle where very little headway was made by either side. Only two goals were forthcoming, one for each side. In the twenty-second minute, Armand Iziary, who’s gone a game or two without scoring, leapt onto the ball during a carefully coordinated Liamist attack and took a surprising shot at goal. Lo and behold, it even surprised the keeper and flew past him and into the back of the net.

Although, Big P was not to be outdone, striking back just eight minutes later with an attack no doubt based on the fact that they should be in front of the Marmadukes, not behind them. The Big P’s attack was fierce and determined and the Liamist States defence, while good, is yet to be able to stand up against a team of Big P’s calibre. The scores were levelled at one apiece and that’s how the half ended.

I’m pretty certain that Jamus Spring would have to be happy with the Marmaduke performance so far and things could only get better, if the Marmadukes stuck to their guns. The teams were back out quickly and ready to play. It was the Marmadukes turn to kick-off to get the second half underway.

It was only two minutes before the Big P side put another on the board. Using an attacking style that the Marmadukes usually use, the team was caught off guard as the Big P swept down the far sideline. Before the Marmadukes knew it, the ball was in the net and the team was down two goals to one.

But the Marmadukes weren’t giving up. A rough tackle in the fiftieth minute gave Rod Manoni an excellent spot to take a free kick at goal. Rather than avoid the wall, he booted it straight at them. The ball rebounded off the wall and to the feet of Christian Dressel, who had a huge opening where the wall was protecting the goal. There was no way the keeper could stop it. Christian’s strike flew, hit the far post and bounced in for an equalising goal. The crowd went nuts, reciting for only the third time since qualifiers began, the Marmadukes theme song for post-goal celebrations.

Woo-hoo!
When we see the ball in the goals.
Woo-hoo!
When we're pins and we're needles.
Woo-hoo!
When we cheer and we're happy,
All of this time we never knew we needed you.
Needed you!
Woo-hoo!

It does an old Marmaduketeer proud that does. It stayed locked at two goals a piece for quite sometime and I think the Marmadukes might have been happy to walk away with a draw. This, of course, did not mean the Liamists were going to stop the attacking. No sir, they were pushing for a win. The magical goal came with just four minutes of regular time left. A corner was produced by the Big P keeper. Jackson Eaks stepped up to the mark. He curved the ball up through the air to Rod Manoni, who was distracted by some hot female type in the stands, who inadvertedly chested the ball into the goals. Talk about lucky and the Marmadukes led the game by one with only a handful of minutes to go. Surely they couldn’t ruin this.

Well, the Marmadukes on the whole didn’t. The other thuggish wanker, Byron Paskell (the first was suspended yesterday against Vilita), had decided now was the time to go in hard. A very aggressive slide tackle brought down the Big P striker with the ball and after awarding the Marmadukes a red card and a team warning after beating the living crap out of Paskell, a penalty was given to Big P, which they successfully converted. The crowd was devastated and some bright spark devised this song:

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way we do
About you now

And all the roads that lead us here were winding
And all the lights that lit the way were blinding
There are many things that we would like to say to you
But we don't know how

We said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves us? And after all
You're an absolute…

The last line was completed with a barrage of swears, insults, hisses and jeers. This idiot had lost the game for the Marmadukes, at three all. No wonder the crowd was pissed, and so was I. The game ended at three all and the Marmadukes had lost out on two very valuable points. Maybe when they fly to Oaker tomorrow, their fortunes will be better.

Liamist States

23-02-2005, 06:48

Paskell, Defino Out
Champion In
Press Conference

Sitting left to right: Illario Forster (Media), Rod Manoni (Captain), Hal Bell, Christian Dressel, Armand Iziary (Forwards), Jackson Eaks (Midfield), Mi Rainford Jr (Goalkeeper).

Wehling: Not a bad performance today, was it?

Manoni: Not at all. The team and I were expecting to lose but to come so close to a win is phenomenal.

Rainford: Liamdamn you, Byron Paskell!

(Bell sighs)

Eaks: So close, so, so close.

Pickles: How do you all feel toward Mr Paskell now?

Rainford: I *swear*ing hate the little mother*swear*er. If comes near me again I’m gonna *swear* up his *swear*ing little *swear*face and kick his *swear*ing ass everywhichway I can.

Bell: Ditto.

Manoni: It is these feelings toward Paskell and the types of players that he and Defino are as to why we will be leaving them in the Liamist States until further notice. They will no longer be members of the Marmadukes. We cannot afford to keep playing at ten men. Instead, two new midfielders will be joining the line-up in their place. Troy Champion, Trenportsmouth, who will be taking over in a centre midfield position, and Marlin Smoots, Trenport City will be rejoining us, but on the midfield bench. The team will be reshuffled to 4-3-3.

Jardin: I was reading the (shuffles around for paper) Hiiraan newspaper and it says that, quote, “Chicanada are trash”.

(Rainford laughs hysterically)

Bell: We got shown our place in the footballing world by Vilita and Chicanada just got shown theirs. Bastards.

Rainford (wiping away a tear): Finally, someone other than us realises.

Eaks: Man, that’s just really funny and sad at the same time.

Dressel: Yeah, as if you’d use your media to intimidate another team.

Rainford: That’s what I’ve been saying all along! Chicanada and everyone else, suck!

Becraft: In other news from that group, Allanea, who didn’t even come through the BoF finals have defeated…who was it? Ah! Starblaydia, wherever that is, the number twelve seeds.

Rainford: What the *swear* is up with that?

Bell: Why can’t we win like that?

Manoni: Bull*swear*.

Renaga: Oaker tomorrow in Oaker. Are you ready?

Manoni: With a new line-up and formation, it may take sometime to settle in but we should be fine. Maybe a draw, although maybe not.

Bell (looking at watch): Speaking of, we should get going. We don’t want Commander Rainford to bail us out again.

Iziary: Yeah, now we have to organise ourselves so the fat asshole over there (indicates Forster) doesn’t leave us like last time.

Forster: Exactly. So see you all tomorrow.

Lineup for game against Oaker:
GK. Mi Rainford Jr
LB. Alvaro Wiggen
LCB. Thomas McQuary
RCB. Hugh Killick
RB. Drew Vallis
LM. Jackson Eaks
CM. Troy Champion
RM. Rod Manoni
LF. Hal Bell
CF. Armand Iziary
RF. Christian Dressel

Fmjphoenix

23-02-2005, 08:57

First match not what Vikings wanted, but they still walk with points

Heading into another nations stadium and winning is never an easy thing to do, and Fmjphoenix heading into Five Civilized Nations proved no different. In a great last minute goal by Zhang Feng, Five Civilized nations denied Fmjphoenix a opening win in WCXXI, as a draw was made with both teams scoring two.

The Vikings first match was not in a very friendly environment, and that may have been part of what caused them to be off target, missing their first 6 shot attempts at the goal before Mike Nolan kicked things off with a shot that hooked in from about 20 feet out to tie it a 1 a piece at the 39th minute. Five Civilized Nations had taken an early lead from a goal by forward Yu Yan at the 13th minute when he beat out Powell Lamar on an early penelty called against Bobby Bash. The teams went into intermission locked up 1 and both teams looked physically tired.

When they came back out, neither team seemed to have much energy into the match, as it was a full 10 minutes before anyone attempted a shot, which was close about 7 feet over the goal. Finally, at the 75th minute, Larry Brown started to get the gears rolling for Fmjphoenix. He had a corner shot that was narrowly deflected by Li Xiang, but the rebound from the shot ended up in front of Jorge Mendel, who promptly put the Vikings up 2-1. The Vikings then dropped into a defensive 3-5-2, sending Nolan and Mendel to the bench to rest up and bringing in both Aaron Chapman and Ryan Fremont to try and keep FCN away from the goal. but it didn't help enough as Feng recieved a marvelous pass from midfielder Sun Yi that caught all of the Vikings defenders of guard, and beat Lamar on a quick one-on-one in the 89th minute to lock it at 2 each. Time stoppage did nothing as neither team could manage anything to score one more goal.

The Vikings next match is against Bryn Shander. They have lost both matches they have played, so the Vikings are hoping to turn around and turn this into a victory in their home opener. The Vikings will be changing into a more ordered out 3-4-3 formation, send Esteban Zeus to the bench for the first time since the Vikings have entered into the World Cup, to be replaced by midfielder Quinten Bell. Coach Wash believes having the extra speed and energy on the field might help lead to better defensive stops for the Vikings. Only time will tell if this switch helps.

Fmjphoenix Qualification Run:
MD01: --Bye--
MD02: Fmjphoenix @ Five Civilized Nations Draw 2-2
MD03: Fmjphoenix vs Bryn Shander
MD04: Fmjphoenix @ Nifty Nick
MD05: Fmjphoenix @ The Belmore Family
MD06: Fmjphoenix vs Squornshelous
MD07: Fmjphoenix @ Iansisle
MD08: --Bye--
MD09: Fmjphoenix vs Five Civilized Nations
MD10: Fmjphoenix @ Bryn Shander
MD11: Fmjphoenix vs Nifty Nick
MD12: Fmjphoenix vs The Belmore Family
MD13: Fmjphoenix @ Squornshelous
MD14: Fmjphoenix vs Iansisle
Record: 0-1-0

Praying2God

23-02-2005, 09:21

John Carlson (JC): We're back for the opening kick-off of this match between the Warriors and Giant Zucchini. The teams are lined-up on their respective sides and are awaiting the referee's whistle to start this match.

**whistle blows**

There it is. Giant Zucchini puts the ball in play and we are under way in the opening match of WC XXI qualifying for the Warriors...

**6th minute**

JC: The Warriors have dominated the play early on...Kelly Carter with the shot...and it's tipped over the bar for a corner kick. The Warriors have certainly looked impressive so far.

David Tall (DT): They certainly have, John. To come into such a hostile environment and to take the crowd out of the match this early is quite an accomplishment for any side, especially in a match of this mangitude.

Lisa Simonson (LS): I agree with you, honey. The Warriors have outplayed Giant Zucchini so far, but you know that GZ are going to get their chances before this match is over.

JC: Kevin Faith takes the corner...the ball is played into the box...and is headed over the bar by Amanda Tracy...

**38th minute**

JC: The Warriors have continued to totally dominate this match. GZ has not managed a shot on net yet against Sarah Walker...however, GZ has possession at the moment...the shot is on net...and goes right into the waiting hands of Walker, who punts the ball right back up field. That was GZ's first shot on net, and it wasn't anything to write home about.

LS: I'd say. We're sure to see a better attempt from them soon.

DT: When? The 76th minute? The Warriors are playing way too well defensively to allow GZ very many good shots today.

**halftime**

JC: We've reached halftime here in Giant Zucchini, and this match is still scoreless. The Warriors have outshot GZ 7-2 in the first half, and the shots on net are 4-1 in the Warriors' favor. Did you expect to see the thorough domination of this match by the Warriors to last the entire first half?

LS: Not at all. I was expecting that GZ would come out with a lot more energy than they did. They're playing like they're expecting to get beat today. I expect to see a better effort from them in the second half.

DT: I'm not totally surprised at the lopsidedness of the first half, but I am surprised that the Warriors don't have anything to show for it. The second half will likely be a lot closer, but the Warriors seem to be almost assured of points in this match with the way that GZ is playing.

**71st minute**

JC: The Warriors have continued to dominate in the second half, but they still have not managed to slip the ball past the GZ keeper...the Warriors have possession...Christa Nelson shoots from the top of the box...and it goes just wide...

DT: I'm surprised that the Warriors haven't gotten Thomas Larson more involved in the offense today.

LS: I think that that could be contributed more so to the job the GZ defense is doing in covering him than a lack of effort on the Warriors part.

**83rd minute**

JC: Giant Zucchini has a rare chance...they're into the box...Walker can't see the shooter...the shot curves just wide...

DT: The Warriors caught a break there, John. Walker was on the opposite side of the net from where the shot went, but it curved just wide.

LS: The Warriors seem to have an uncanny amount of luck with shots curving wide when they should end up in the net.

DT: Maybe there's some divine intervention involved in that.

**90th minute**

JC: One last chance for the Warriors...Faith with the ball on the right sideline...he plays the ball into the middle...Thomas Larson gets free in the box...Larson gets his head on it...

**CLANG**
**whistle blows**

IT GOES IN!!! But will it count??? The referee WAVES IT OFF?! :mad: Even the Giant Zucchini players can't believe that the goal was waved off. If that ref isn't South Osettian, he must be from a close ally of their's who doesn't want to see the Warriors qualify (OOC-not you, LE).

DT: Thomas Larson almost earned sainthood right there by scoring his third last minute goal in WC play, but it was waved off. That's why fans are always saying that the referee needs to get glasses. That was flat out robbery!!!

LS: That brings back memories of the in Iansisle during WC XX qualifying when a South Osettian referee waved off a Thomas Larson goal that would have given the Warriors a much needed draw and kept them in the thick of the qualifying race.

JC: That's all the time we have for today folks. Next time we'll be coming to you from the House of Prayer for the Warriors match against Gilgrado. For David Tall and Lisa Simonson, I'm John Carlson. Good night everybody.

Sjwitz

23-02-2005, 10:32

From the Daily NewSjwitz:

A Loss, yet Again

Coach Schmidt saw his team lose 0-1 to Eauz in a match that could have, no should have gone the other way. Sjwitz controlled the whole match and had numerous chances, Roman Bingk was, as promised, fit again and wanted to show his new employers, the Jotneheim Mountains of Cockbill Street, that they won't be regretting their buy. Somehow however, the team didn't manage to score a goal and after 77 minutes Eauz scored on a stunning counter attack. Morrgh and Jolt both had a chance to equalise after that but again the ball just didn't want to go into the net. Sjwitz will now be hoping that they can take a few points away from home, otherwise qualification will be very difficult.

Coach Schmidt: "Yes we should have won really, but we musn't forget that Eauz is by far the best team in the group, if we 'only' lose 0-1 to them at home we surely must be able to take some points against the other teams? Anyway, the team is really giving it all they've got and we'll be making sure that for the next match against Slaikau our accuracy will be better. Unfortunately Steiger got injured against Eauz so we will probably start with Simms in his place as wingback. Wish us luck, we obviously do need it."

Expected formation against Slaikau:

Blurr

Svensson Hamm Jolt Simms

Morrgh
DiLuciano Stomp
Johnson Sjwitzer

Bingk

Druida

23-02-2005, 12:40

The Daily Druid

DRUIDA FEELING GOOD ABOUT QUALIFICATION
Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po on Obsessed Muse Groupies 0 Druida 3

Another convincing win for the Druida rainbows yesterday, as they eased to a three-goal victory over Obsessed Muse Groupies. Goals from Max Chilver, Trevor Ng and Rhys Owens were enough to see them off within the first half hour in the OMG heat.

The game started off well for the rainbows, with Chilver's goal coming after only three minutes. A Dan Northfleet cross from the right was badly cleared by one of the groupies, hitting the unintended target of Chilvers and bouncing over the goalie's head.

Trevor Ng followed it up with another soon after, this time a free kick deflected off a defender. It created a hullaballoo amongst the away support, with the Druidan fans getting hyper, music playing out on the speaker system (New Born makes surprisingly fantastic goal celebration music) and loud cheering being heard all around.

The Druidan forwards were endlessly pressurising the Groupie defence, and eventually a third goal came. From a Trevor Peev long ball forward, Rhys Owens found himself in space, dementia seemingly getting the better of the home defence as they were stumbling and falling down all over the place. The finish was easy, slotting it into the bottom left corner.

After this, the extreme heat in Obsessed Muse Groupies got the better of everyone. By the end, everyone was knackered, and manager Trevor Belmore was bright red, with his skin peeling. Obviously forgot to pack the sunscreen. What a fool.

Final score:
Obsessed Muse Groupies 0
Druida 3 [Chilver 3, Ng 7, Owens 28]

Games so far...

Matchday 1: Druida 5-0 Naglegrad
Matchday 2: Obsessed Muse Groupies 0-3 Druida

...top scorers...

3 - Max Chilver
2 - Trevor Law
1 - Dan Northfleet
1 - Rhys Owens
1 - Trevor Ng

...and still to come.

Matchday 3: Day off! Woohoo!!!
Matchday 4: Ratvipa (a)
Matchday 5: Total n Utter Insanity (a)
Matchday 6: Oddslavo (a)
Matchday 7: Finrods (h)
Matchday 8: Naglegrad (a)
Matchday 9: Obsessed Muse Groupies (h)
Matchday 10: The rainbows go on holiday.
Matchday 11: Ratvipa (h)
Matchday 12: Total n Utter Insanity (h)
Matchday 13: Oddslavo (h)
Matchday 14: Finrods (a)

Jeruselem

23-02-2005, 13:04

Jeruselem Government News

Crusaders get the bye and the Spanish pounce

Ok, Jeruselem has the bye for Match day of World Cup XXI so no news on that front. There's still results to comment on.

EL CID THE HERO won their second game with a 2-1 win over Danieljoh. This propelled them into 1st in Group 1, but this was not unexpected. The rest of the games were draws, 1 ALL draws. Antaeus Rising and Lykaia fought it out but shared the honours and were unable to get their first win. One Red Dot were held to a draw surprisingly with Krazie who really earned their first points. One Red Dot will be disappointed in not getting a win.

Jeruselem are now third but in Group 1 but that's from the result of game only.

Some good news for our South Osettian fans in Jeruselem. Their team drew 1 ALL with The Weegies in Group 8. A good result considering their opponents and some points to build on.

Group 1
Antaeus Rising - Lykaia 1-1
Danieljoh - EL CID THE HERO 1-2
Krazie - One Red Dot 1-1

Group 1 P W D L GF-GAPts
EL CID THE HERO 2 2 0 0 4-1 6
One Red Dot 2 1 1 0 3-2 4
Jeruselem 1 1 0 0 3-0 3
Lykaia 1 0 1 0 1-1 1
Danieljoh 2 0 0 2 2-4 0
Antaeus Rising 2 0 1 1 1-3 1
Krazie 2 0 1 1 1-4 1

Totally Useless Liars

23-02-2005, 14:00

Totally Useless Liars manager Mr Sheen will now say absolutely nothing at all.

Mr Sheen: "I am so damn proud my team's performance so far. We have won both of our games so far, against Wella, and Svecia, two games we expected to win before the tournament started. Next up are the group whipping boys and World Under-21 Cup holders Rejistania, who should prove to be an absolute walkover. We will win 7-0, as their attacking style of play will allow us to open up their defence easily."

Sjwitz

23-02-2005, 14:18

From the latest edition of the Daily NewSjwitz:

Coach Schmidt Under Fire

Rumours have been spreading through the Sjwitz' supporters community that the National Soccer Federation is thinking of firing Coach Steven Schmidt after the recent run of moderate results. (BoF first round elimination, WC21Qual 2 Losses out of 2) The word on the street varies from:

- "Yeh well it's about time they throw him out, always the same thing, we should have won but... bad luck yackyack."

- "Steven who? I don't care who's the coach boy, the players are real crappy and that's where it ends. And considering the recent lousy results in the U21WC, I suppose we'll be this crappy for a while to come now."

- "Actually I don't mind really, I do believe that we have had some bad luck, it's really unfair to him to throw him out knowing that it's our first participation to all of these tournaments. You can't blame him for not winning the cup from the first try can you?"

A reaction from Sören J. Klinn, minister of sport: "Yes well, it is true that we have negotiated the option of firing him after the BoF. But, that was the least important point on the agenda since only 3% of the votes were in favor of firing him. It's logical really, the people of Sjwitz are known to be sports fanatics so they hope and expect really to see their team perform in a good way. Losses work on the morale of the people and they need someone to blame. Especially now after the unlucky loss at home against Eauz his position amongst the people is in doubt, but in fact, it's not the Soccer Federation that wants to fire him, just a few unhappy people. But, I can honestly say that Steven Schmidt is one of the best men for the job and not many people could have done it better so far, we DO however wish that the team will be getting some points in the near future and will take measures. However, these measures are only slight measures, so far we've only asked Schmidt if he's happy with his current selection and if he's sure that there aren't any better players around. Anyway the conclusion is that for now there are a lot of rumours flying around but most of those are gibberish. I only hope the fans stay loyal and will keep following the team. They musn't forget Sjwitz is new to this and that we've just recently played two of our toughest matches. Easier matches should follow and in theory Sjwitz should end almost dead last in its group. I have faith in the team AND coach however that this won't happen."

Coach Schmidt himself did not want to react properly, he said: "No time, coaching the team"

For the record, here are the Standings and Past and Future matches of Sjwitz in the WC21Qualification Tournament. Best two qualify, third team has to face another third placed team for a WCticket.

Matches:

MD 1: Commerce Heights - Sjwitz 5-1
MD 2: Sjwitz - Eauz 0-1
MD 3: Slaikau - Sjwitz
MD 4: Sjwitz - The Eagle's Nest
MD 5: Talzeckia - Sjwitz
MD 6: Gibberonia - Sjwitz
MD 7: --- bye ---
MD 8: Sjwitz - Commerce Heights
MD 9: Eauz - Sjwitz
MD 10: Sjwitz - Slaikau
MD 11: The Eagle's Nest - Sjwitz
MD 12: Sjwitz - Talzeckia
MD 13: Sjwitz - Gibberonia
MD 14: --- bye ---

Standings:

Group 9 P W D L GF-GAPts
1. Eauz 2 2 0 0 2-0 6
2. Commerce Heights 2 1 1 0 5-1 4
3. The Eagles Nest 1 1 0 0 4-1 3
4. Slaikau 1 1 0 0 4-2 3
5. Gibberovia 2 0 1 1 1-4 1
6. Talzeckia 2 0 0 2 2-5 0
7. Sjwitz 2 0 0 2 1-6 0

Audioslavia

23-02-2005, 15:14

Audio Iced
First Home Defeat In Twenty Years

Audioslavia, ranked number 1 in the world, had a point to prove against lowly Oceaice. They had to prove that they had the right to be ranked number one in the world ahead of teams like Vilita and Rejistania.

And they blew it. Out of their own arse. On their own turf.

While Vilita were busy putting four goals past The Liamist States and Rejistania were beating Pterodactyl 3-0, the 'slaves were getting a first-half roasting from a side exactly fifty points below them in the rankings, and who had never even made it to the finals of a world cup before.

The Audioslavia first eleven of Andersson, Johnstone, Carel, Ceulemans, Oskari, Crevan, Jansen, Marriot, McLlroy, Bull and Stürmläufer had thirteen World Cup Final appearances between them, a number which would have increased to fifteen had McLlroy and Andersson not been injured for the World Cup 20 final. Oceaice didn't have a familiar face between them, but still ran rings around Audioslavia in the first half, scoring two goals in the first half an hour as the 'slaves were over-run.

The second half started in a similar fashion, iwth the 'slaves totally inept and lacking any kind of penetration, allowing two swift counter-attacks which would have lead to two Oceaice goals were it not for the heroics of 35-year-old goalkeeper Peter Andersson.

It seems Audioslavian manager Dave Mill's compulsive selection of now-fit Ally Marriot and out of form Oran Crevan is his downfall, as it was the two central midfielders inability to control the game that led to the 'slaves falling so far behind in the second half. After his long lay-off it seems Marriot is half the player he used to be. Gone is the pace, the touch and the technique, replaced by hurried passes and stumbling flicks which just don't work any more. Fatherham manager Colin Best saw this last month when he relegated Marriot to substitute. Mill doesn't seem to be quite to up to the times.

Unfortunately for Mill, the more he strived for attacking play, the more he hindered the 'slavian team. A grotesquely ill advised substituion lead to the midfield being further stretched as Mill replaced defensive midfielder Oran Crevan with a striker, Jorma Taavi. Audioslavia playing 3-3-4? It looks like a dumb formation and it was. None of the strikers knew what they were doing or how to play round each other and due to the depleted midfield they hardly got the ball anyway.

It seemed that only a miracle or a piece of sublime individual skill would get Audioslavia a goal. It turned out to be the former, although the term 'miracle' has rather positive connotations and so shouldn't really be used. 'Farce' is a lot more fitting. Sub Taurxa Jeroen launched a nothing ball into the penalty area, Oceaice's goalkeeper went to catch it but missed it and allowed the ball to drop over his head and off the inside of the post where it fell to striker Alcander Bull who simply headed the ball into the open goal. 2-1, but it was too little too late for the 'slaves.

FINAL SCORE from the SNA in Audioslavia

AUDIOSLAVIA 1-2 OCEAICE
Bull 90 16 Some Dude
21 Some Dude

Audioslavia

23-02-2005, 15:25

KILL MILL Volume 1
FA Axe Audioslavia's most Successful Coach

The Audioslavian Football Association has terminated the contract of Dave Mill by mutual agreement, both parties citing that it was in the best interests of the nation. Mill himself has spoken out that he wants to move on after two unsuccessful attempts at winning the world cup.

Mill took over the job after Paul Ward's departure after World Cup 18. Mill, who had been Ward's assistant, was only given the job part time while the FA looked for more fitting candidates, but after taking the national side to the final of the Eagles Cup and staying undefeated during World Cup 19 qualifying, Mill was given a proper contract.

Mill's Audioslavia reached the finals of two world cups but, unfortunately, lost both of them. First to Crystilakere and then to Vilita, both games finishing 1-0.

After two straight defeats to Bedistan and Squornshelous in the Jurassic Invitational Cup, and the awful defeat to Oceaice last week, Mill has stepped down as coach of the national team. AFA director of football and ex-Audioslavian goalkeeper Neil Fenwick will take over the side for the next game against Funny Looking Islands.

G'nite bitches.

Audioslavia

23-02-2005, 15:56

Goldie Looking Change
New Coach, New Team, Good Old Result

Wheras Dave Mill's first eleven in the Oceaice team contained the bulk of the players that had appeared in the World Cup 20 final... and the World Cup 19 final... stand-in manager Neil Redbank's team contained virtually none of them. Gone were Andersson, Marriot, Crevan, McLlroy and Dannes, in their place were Walsh, Cairbre, Jeroen, Bull, Sturmlaufer and Rijsbergen. The only survivor of the midfield and attack which played the World Cup 20 final was Arie Jansen, whilst Killian Rijsbergen was the only surviving member of that squad.

The defence saw Aron Ceulemans put at right-back and Anders Burn drafted in alongside captain Johnstone in defence. Arne Carel stayed at right-back whilst James Walsh started the match in goal ahead of Peter Andersson.

-------------------------------
| 12 |
| Walsh |
| |
| 16 5 |
| 6 Burn Johnstone 3 |
|Ceulemans Carel |
| |
| 15 |
| 2 Cairbre 11 |
|Rijsbergen 19 Jansen |
| Jeroen |
| |
| |
| 20 18 |
| Stürmläufer Bull |
-------------------------------

The result was a performance which eclipsed that of the Oceaice game, but still didn't make the 'slaves look like a #1 team.

The goals, coming either side of half-time, were well taken if a little scrappy, Alcander Bull's 42nd minute finish a prime example of this as Audioslavia played on the 'if you get enough crosses in, one of them is bound to result in a goal' motif rather than the 'play it around and create openings' style of the 'slavian teams of recent years. Right-winger Killian Rijsbergen scored goal number two on fifty-nine minutes, re-directing a wayward Sturmlaufer shot into the goal with his shin. Not the most poetic of finishes, but it gave the 'slaves a 2-0 lead, and three extremely welcome and valuable points.

FINAL SCORE
F.L.Islands 0-2 Audioslavia
42 Bull
59 Rijsbergen

South Osettia

23-02-2005, 16:44

The champagne bottles were open, and everybody was enjoying the evening. South Osettia were about to kick-start their World Cup campaign with a well-earned 1-1 draw against The Weegies. One of the assistants got onto a table and raised her glass.

“Here’s to our first point!” Cheers greeted this, and just as everybody was about to knock the alcohol back, Tom burst in through the swinging doors.

“What the hell’s going on here?” He started to snatch glasses from the people nearest him. “We haven’t got it yet – there are still three minutes to go, and we’re not going to be jinxing ourselves by celebrating yet.” As he went around the room, Emmett came in through the same set of doors. He was stunned by the silence.

“Why aren’t we celebrating – we’re about to win our first point.”

“Tom won’t let us. It’d be jinxing the team.”

“Well who’s to say The Weegies won’t score in the next…two minutes? I tell you, if we start celebrating now, they’ll score. It always happens.” As if to demonstrate this, The Weegies hit the post. “Jesus Christ, if that’d gone in, I swear I’d have killed every single one of you.”

One minute left, and The Weegies are still on the offensive…

“Tom, if you’re this tense two games into the thing, I’d hate to see you near the end.”

“Why, it’s my party piece?” For the next sixty seconds, the whole room was in silence, watching the big screen that had been erected especially for the qualifying games. As the ticker counted down to zero, people began counting with it.

“Five…four…three…two…one…”

And there goes the final whistle! The South Osettians pick up their first point of the competition against a lacklustre Weegies team. Let’s hope it’s the first of many.

Tom held up the glasses he had collected and a bottle that he’d found by his side.

“I’m pouring!”

***

“We got a fax through from Jeruselem.”

“We did? What does it say?”

“Congratulations on your first point. The people of Jeruselem wish you well…or at least better than last time.”

“That was nice of them. Give it to the press in a minute – it shows that people like us. That’s always a nice feeling.” Cathy enjoyed press conferences, not only because she got the power to call on people, but also because she liked the ducking and diving that a job such as hers involved.

“Do you know how Tom’s getting on with the thing?”

“Emmett, I don’t, but I’m sure that if you go and talk to him, he’d gladly tell you what progress he’s making.” Emmett smelt a rat, but thought nothing of it. He made his way to Tom’s office.

“Hey Tom, how’s the thing going?” The orange hit him square on the forehead.

“You know, when I found that some joker left this basket of oranges in here, I didn’t quite know what to do with them. Now I know that I can throw them at people that ask me about the thing!” Tom was sitting in his chair next to an overly large basket of oranges. There must have been about a hundred oranges there, but Emmett was in too much pain to really care. He looked in the mirror.

“Great, now there’s a big orange mark on my forehead.” He tried rubbing it, but it didn’t come off.

“Yeah…shame. You know, I’ve got a big basket of oranges on my desk – can I have some pity please?”

“Oranges are good for you – they’re full of vitamin C.”

“There is such a thing as over-efficiency though. Look at this – it’s a brightly coloured eyesore!”

“But they give your office a fresh fruity smell.”

“Next time, I’m getting you in the eye.”

“So I take it you haven’t made any progress then?”

“No. I’m getting some figures this afternoon – what each player gets in wages. That way I might be able to narrow it down. Maybe you could get Ubuloy to…you know…give us a hint.”

“A hint? This isn’t a game, there are no hints. This is business, and if this player gets the word out, we’re screwed.”

“You don’t have to tell me that. I told Cathy that yesterday.”

“Yeah, I heard about that. Crosswords?”

“Get me a restraining order on your assistant. If she comes near me with another crossword, she won’t make it across the threshold of this office. Which reminds me – I haven’t heard her all day. Where is she?”

“I sent her down to the training field to talk to the coach. Maybe we can find something out from him.”

“Aren’t they in Liverpool England yet?”

“No, we got them some speed-train tickets – it takes an hour to get there, so they’ve got plenty of time to practice.”

“Do you think she’ll find anything?”

“It’s Polly, so I’m not holding out much.”

***

It was raining at the training ground, and Polly had been hiding in the shelter for hours now, as she watched the players train. To her, they were all finely tuned athletes, ready to take on the world and win, but the players themselves knew differently. They were only human, but it was nice to pretend that they weren’t, if only for ninety minutes at a time. The coach, Winfred Parat, spotted Polly through the rain, and he jogged over to the shelter. She was surprised to see not the old bespectacled man she’d expected, but a man who looked young enough to be a player himself.

“Hi, I’m Winfred Parat. I’m the coach.” He held out his hand, and she took it. He had a strong grip, and it felt that with every squeeze he was taking her breath away. “I was told to expect you. So, what can I do for you?” Polly had trouble getting the words out, but she took a deep breath and began to tell the story to Parat, who stood there and listened calmly, not interrupting once, like most people did when Polly spoke.

“Now that’s what I call a problem. I don’t know anything about it, but I’m taking the lads inside now to get changed and ready for the speed-train. Your boss got us tickets – he seems like a nice guy. I’ll see you in about five.” He ran back out to the players, and as he got there, the players stopped and listened to him. He looked like a leader; a man that people took notice of; a man that took charge and demanded respect – the sort of man that Polly had craved for all her life. She hadn’t had many men, but those she had dated had all turned out to be pigs. Winfred Parat seemed different. It seemed like seconds before he returned, but when Polly looked at the clock across the park, ten minutes had passed.

“Sorry I was a little late – the lads weren’t that eager to talk. I have got something for you, but it’s not much. Apparently some guy keeps calling the lads, trying to talk them into taking their problems public. Most of ‘em just put the phone down, but obviously somebody’s taking his advise.”

“Did they give a name?”

“It was something strange. Costa Uboya? Something like that.” Polly’s heart leapt into her throat. “Does that mean anything to you?” She thought for a second about how best to answer this question.

“Er…no, I’ve never heard it before. Well…thanks for trying anyway. I guess we’ll just have to keep searching.”

“I’m sure something will turn up. It was nice meeting you Polly.”

“You too, Winfred.” As Parat walked back into the rain to collect the equipment, Polly wondered just how deep this thing was, and how far they’d have to dig before it all came crashing down on top of them.

Nonesuch Street

23-02-2005, 17:30

Nonesuch Kick Off Qualifying
Kodiaks Have Too Little Stamina

A closely-fought encounter between Nonesuch Street and Chicanada in Bishop Canton ended in a 3-2 victory for the lesser-known Streeters, who have started well in their campaign to qualify for Cockbill Street and Lethislavania. They warmed up with a friendly against an all-dwarf side from Cockbill Street, winning 2-1 despite Olaf Heimfoething having an excellent game in midfield for the Street-dwarfs, and they carried it through against Chicanada.

Though it was a lucky break. The Streetians were on the back foot early, Westington scoring his second goal of the campaign with a fine strike from 11 metres, but MacSwell pegged one back eleven minutes later off a free-kick. The first-half was evenly matched both in possession and chances, and 1-1 was a fair result.

The Nonesuch team, having got rid of Kansu Lyku as coach in a referendum a month ago, weren't affected by the Karela-friendly influences in the Street, and thus conceded one more goal early in the second half through Weston Kozten - though that was dubiously allowed, as there were concerns that the ball hadn't crossed the line. However, it didn't matter, as substitute Pohli scored an equaliser off a throw-in and S Chandra Seccah then was fouled in the box by Noemi. He took the penalty himself, setting the ball behind an unlucky Jilin Dumaire.

Nonesuch Street are playing Allanea on the next matchday, a team buoyed by a fine 1-0 victory over Starblaydia. However, Nonesuch Street are sitting in third place in the table despite having played a bye in the previous match, and so the small Streetians should have a good chance of catching Hiiraan in second place.

Eauz

23-02-2005, 17:36

EauH so Weak

Les Bleus were off for their first away match for the 21st World Cup qualifying round, in Sjwitz. Fans were ready for a tough match against Eauz, and they were here to have a chance to see a top team from Eauz. Their papers and news reports were expecting a loss, but that their team would play very well against Eauz.

Despite Eauz being the experienced team, they didn’t seem to be in much control of the match, as Sjwitz were anxious for a victory against a top team. After a few minutes into the match, a Sjwitz forward received a beautiful headed ball, which he sent sailing towards the corner of the net. It would have gone in, had it been a bit lower, as it sailed over the net. Les Bleus became frustrated early, as they found it hard to clear the ball out of their zone, as Costé tripped up a Sjwitz player. Sjwitz received a free kick outside of the penalty zone, which sailed to ther far corner, but Bedeau made a spectacular diving save to keep Sjwitz off the board. Les Bleus got a few chances just before the first half ended, when Alia received a pass from Vasser, which knocked off the crossbar of the net. The ball bounced back into play, where Rousseau was, who tried to head the ball, but the keeper for Sjwitz was able to hold on. The referee blew the whistle, after oddly enough, only 30 seconds of extra time, as many believed he had a blind date to attend.

The second half began, and Les Bleus seemed to be a bit more organized as a team, as their defence came together, and the possession for Sjwitz started to drop. Despite this, Sjwitz still were in command for the match. At the 56th minute of play, the referee must have been blinded by the love of his blind date, as a Sjwitz mid-fielder was completely offside, yet was allowed to continue. Fortunately, Bedeau was there to block the attempt. Despite all the attempts on the Eauz keeper, Bedeau stood strong, and at the 77th minute, it all paid off for Eauz, when Rousseau went into the penalty zone, he was pulled down, resulting in a penalty kick. Alia finished off the kick, putting it top shelf, giving Les Bleus a 1 – 0 lead. The match seemed to slow down pace after that goal, and finished at the 1 – 0 victory for Eauz…

After the match, the coach had a few words to say about his team and the match:
“Well, I don’t know what is the matter right now, we don’t seem to be playing up to par for our team’s capabilities. Usually, the first few matches we do pretty good for our offence, but our team just hasn’t been running well on all cylinders. Give us a few more days, and we should be back in world cup form though.”

Despite the weak showing for Eauz, they received another 3 points, toping the 9th group with 6 points. The next match will come against Gibberovia, who has 1 point, after a tie against Commerce Heights.

Group 9 P W D L GF-GAPts
1. Eauz 2 2 0 0 2-0 6
2. Commerce Heights 2 1 1 0 5-1 4
3. The Eagles Nest 1 1 0 0 4-1 3
4. Slaikau 1 1 0 0 4-2 3
5. Gibberovia 2 0 1 1 1-4 1
6. Talzeckia 2 0 0 2 2-5 0
7. Sjwitz 2 0 0 2 1-6 0

Match Day 1: Eauz vs. Talzeckia W 1 - 0
Match Day 2: Sjwitz vs. Eauz W 0 - 1
Match Day 3: Eauz vs. Gibberovia
Match Day 4: Bye Period
Match Day 5: Eauz vs. Commerce Heights
Match Day 6: Slaikau vs. Eauz
Match Day 7: Eauz vs. The Eagles Nest

Match Day 8: Talzeckia vs. Eauz
Match Day 9: Eauz vs. Sjwitz
Match Day 10: Gibberovia vs. Eauz
Match Day 11: Bye Period
Match Day 12: Commerce Heights vs. Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz vs. Slaikau
Match Day 14:The Eagles Nest vs. Eauz

Rejistania

23-02-2005, 19:54

Match against Moles - And not in the military meaning

Can you imagine a country full of moles? We neither but it was on our schedule: Moleland. Of course people reacted as they'd normally react: Nothing can be what must not be. You can imagine the surprise when the team had to face moles in the size of a human.

The Orange-Blues played again System Imdila. Maybe the Hexatux was completely rewritten, but its tactical preferences seemed to have changed (another reason might be that ASR president Teke Daran again told Siki Rej that 12 scoreless draws are not enough to qualify). The Orange-Blues had some chances in this match, but also the moles were doing well and nearly took the lead. Only the quick reaction of former U21 goalkeeper Jana I Y prevented an early trailing. SyDe (if we did not lose count with the Syku Lyku's) scored the 1:0 in the 20th minute. Moles claimed that we was offside, but the referee did not notice. Sasijilvenku Dikelesinivetisaru had a good chance in a free kick and was able to shoot past the goalkeeping Mole. The match ended before time due to a dramatic incident: Moles digged tunnels below the stadium to 'hear' the match (as you might know: moles are very sensitive to vibrations of the ground). The Molelanders seemed not to care since normally this is in normal limits. The first international home game ever attracted however many more 'listeners' than normal and parts of the pitch sank in due to the sheer number of moles, leaving after seeing that they can not win.

The result:
Moleland 0
Rejistania 3 (Lyku 20th 78th, Dikelesinivetisaru 38th)

Cockbill Street

23-02-2005, 20:16

Matchday 3 qualifying scores are now up:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8278613&postcount=4

Home team on left. Any queries, please post them in the discussion thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=8278620#post8278620)

Streetian Football Moments - Number Seven:

Due to a newspaper's strike, there was next to no coverage of World Cup Fourteen in the Street, and perhaps it was fair enough that that carried through into World Cup 15. However, this was, incredibly, the Streetians' sixteenth consecutive game unbeaten after a fantastic qualifying charge. In Kingsford, the Streetians took the lead on a classic Harald Axewielder raid, Rikki Stone showing glimmers of his future potential that ensured him 16 years and 109 caps for Cockbill Street (including one game as a sub in AOCAF6), when he scored with the blistering shot. Nala Eromleb (who else?) equalised for the Spaamainians, but this just wasn't their day - the 20-year-old Rikki Stone smacked in the second goal ten minutes from time, and Cockbill Street enjoyed qualifying for the second round with a game to spare. Arguably the highest point of Streetian football, but owing to general apathy at the time, it falls far down. Like the Streetian football team did - it drew Europa Brittania in the next match, then got knocked out by Liverpool England's Philosophers in the second round, and then got knocked out of the World Cup itself both for Fifteen and Sixteen, and the golden crop - Curbishley, Stonelover, Axewielder, Ball, Carpenter, Einarsson - all aged very, very quickly and never regained their skills from that time.

# 8 1-0 win over Evisceratomatoes, World Cup 10
# 7 2-1 win over Spaam, World Cup 14
# 6 ???
# 5 ???
# 4 ???
# 3 ???
# 2 ???
# 1 ???

Fmjphoenix

23-02-2005, 20:30

Vikings score early on, hold with outstanding defensive plays

James Wash decided a change was needed in the line up. He took out the third highest goal scorer in Fmjphoenix history and replaced him in the starting eleven with a young and speedy fellow named Quinten Bell. This was his first start even though he had been on the team since their first entry in World Cup XVIII. He didn't dissapoint as he provided a goal early into the match, and then made a great play to take the ball away from Laharl Pucelle in time stoppage to stop Bryn Shander from ruining the Vikings home opener as Fmjphoenix went to defear Bryn Shander 1-0.

The match started off with Hayato Musashi taking the first shot at the goal, but it was deflected over the net by Powell Lamar, and the ensuing corner kick was passed to Pucelle, but Lamar stopped the shot well before it could get past. After a long pass down to Jorge Mendel at midfield, he spotted Bell blazing down the Shander side of the pitch. After juking awy from Ichiro Narusegawa, Mendel lofted a pass to Bell, who neatly hooked a shot into the left corner that barely got over goalkeeper Berlin Castlerock's hands for a 1-0 lead after only 11 minutes. The Vikings continued trying to attack, getting 5 more goals on target, but Castlerock was true to his name and was like a rock and did not allow another goal past for the rest of the first half. Bryn Shander only got off one more attempt, a long shot by Alaron Stormbringer as time stoppage was coming to a close. Fmjphoenix went into intermission with the crowd screaming.

During the half time, there was a performence by Fmjphoenix most popular pop singer, Brianna Jones, and it took several hundred security guards to keep the men from breaking on the field to get a piece of her. When the teams came back, Fmjphoenix looked prepared to pounce on Bryn Shander more.

Look can be decieving, as Coach Wash had his team playing in a defenseive 4-4-2, bringing Zeus in off of the benh, along with Brenden Kapono to take care of the strike. But the Vikings defenders were harrasing the poor Bryn Shander forwards, not even allowing an attempt by them until the 75th minute. But as none of the Vikings had came out for a rest in the second half, they seemed to be getting a little tired as the time stoppage started, and that was when Laharl Pucelle when on an attack. Bell ran nearly the legnth of the pitch to kick the ball out from under the feet of Pucelle out of bounds, and the Bryn Shander side could not get anything out of the corner kick as a weakly kicked shot was easily caught by Lamar to end the match. Quinten Bell was awarded man of the match for scoring the only goal of the match.

With a solid victory, the Vikings are tied for third in Group 5 with Five Civilized Nations and 4 points. It is still early on, but there have been good signs so far. Next up for Fmjphoenix is Nifty Nick, who have lost two and drawn one to have 1 point and sit in sixth place. Coach Wash has already determined that he will continue to use the 3-4-3 formation with Bell in the starting eleven to see how well it will continue to work.

Fmjphoenix: 1
(Bell 11)

Bryn Shander: 0
(None)

Fmjphoenix Qualification Run:
MD01: --Bye--
MD02: Fmjphoenix @ Five Civilized Nations Draw 2-2
MD03: Fmjphoenix vs Bryn Shander Win 1-0
MD04: Fmjphoenix @ Nifty Nick
MD05: Fmjphoenix @ The Belmore Family
MD06: Fmjphoenix vs Squornshelous
MD07: Fmjphoenix @ Iansisle
MD08: --Bye--
MD09: Fmjphoenix vs Five Civilized Nations
MD10: Fmjphoenix @ Bryn Shander
MD11: Fmjphoenix vs Nifty Nick
MD12: Fmjphoenix vs The Belmore Family
MD13: Fmjphoenix @ Squornshelous
MD14: Fmjphoenix vs Iansisle
Record: 1-1-0

Vilita

23-02-2005, 20:31

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/ttov.gif

Ricky Ezis :: Player in Focus
Part One: A Rainy Day that Made a Legend

------------------Ricky Ezis was born and raised just outside of Lonngeylin, Vilita. From a very young age it was clear Ricky would end up, some how, in sports. Ricky was a Lonngeylin junior Hockey Association champion and top defensive player of they year at the ages of six, seven, eight, nine and eleven. Unfortunately, there was no teenaged hockey league in Vilita, and Ezis was left to play on the streets and parking lots. Upon the creation of the Vilitan Domestic Football/Soccer League, Ezis decided to answer a call for ten to fifteen year olds to tryout for a place in the brand new Strike Football academy just minutes from his home.

------------------Ezis easily earned a return call after his first day of tryouts. His physical presence held over from his hockey games was enough alone to make him stand out from the other pre-teens. But Ricky's footballing career almost stopped as quickly as it had started. Ricky, who's other love, in addition to hockey, was auto racing, was scheduled to compete in his weekly racing series at the Coveside Raceway. Ricky had just moved up to the senior division after succesfully achieving championships in all the youth divisions, and had even picked up a sponsor to fund his entry fees for the season. A sluck would have it, rain forced the cancellation of the race that day, and Ricky Ezis shouwed up about fifteen minutes late to The Shultis training ground, where the Strike Academy was holding tryouts. The academy coaches did not say a word to Ezis the entire time, not even to welcome him or tell him what to do. He just fit himself into rotation, and selected sides for himself. At the end of the day, the coaches read off a list of players who would be invited back and Ezis was not one of them.

------------------As he was packing up, just about ready to walk home, Ricky felt an arm on his shoulder. It was one of the acafemy coaches. He told Ricky that he would have been invited back, had he introduced himself so they knew who he was. Ricky then introduced himself. The coach replied, and welcomed him to Strike FC.

Chicanada

23-02-2005, 20:41

InterCanton Press

Chicanada Gets Right, Gets Three

Hiiraan [1] [2] Chicanada
Xaashi (1) (13) Kozten (2) (17)
Kozten (3) (72)

Somewhere, Hiiraan:

It took three games, but Chicanada finally came out on top.

Weston Kozten scored twice to help overcome a stingy Hiiraan defense and take home their first points of qualifying in a 2-1 upset at Kilimanjaro Kilp Stadium in Hiiraan.

Kozten, needless to say, was pleased with his performance, shouting "Finally" for nearly fifteen minutes after the match as the team headed to their press conference and shuttles to return back to Cana.

Coach Jesnui Viladetta praised both sides for a "most excellent" of matches. "I'm extremely proud of our boys, as they showed initiative and nerve to finally finish a match" after tripping at home against and Nonesuch Street and missing an opportunity to knock off Starblaydia on their turf. "This better begin our forward motion towards doing well in the grouping."

Penalty shots continue to be a problem, as Saleebaan Mahamed Xaashi helped give Hiiraan the lead in the thirteenth minute after a tripping penalty was called on Defensive Backup Tony Cherundolo. Kozten brought the game back to even in the seventeenth minute on a pass play from Samuel Kleriton and scored the go ahead goal in the seventy-second minute off a corner kick from Captain Jude Westington.

The Kodiaks host Group Leader Melmond at the 67,000 seat Township Plaza Grounds in the central port city of Douala tommorow before a break on Friday. The match is scheduled for 0800 CST and will be carried live by Canal4 and Northern. Most football pitches will be open to show the game live, as is usual.

The official schedule for Chicanada Qualifying
(Home team is listed on the left side)

MD01 @ Starblaydia (L 1-2)
MD02 v Nonesuch Street (L 2-3)
MD03 @ Hiiraan (W 2-1)
MD04 v Melmond (Township Plaza Grounds, Douala)
MD05 v Allanea (Shoreline Pitch, Livingston)
MD06 -
MD07 v Rittarstan (Ministry Fieldhouse, Paradiso)
MD08 v Starblaydia (TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD09 @ Nonesuch Street
MD10 v Hiiraan (Easten National Arena, Eastentown)
MD11 @ Melmond
MD12 @ Allanea
MD13 -
MD14 @ Rittarstan

Starblaydia

23-02-2005, 20:41

High Five!
Starblaydia get back into gear with Rittarstan Demolition

There's something to be said for playing the First Team. None of these 'tactical' changes last night as Guylain N'Dumbu-Nsungu went with what the nation wanted and picked his eleven best available players.

Though Raphael Delgado had to sit the match out with flu, it only allowed Syku Lyku-Agbayani to go on the rampage, dropping back to take command of Rittarstan's half of the field. With some lovely interplay up front between a new partnership of Belizaire and Tumunzahar, Lyku-Agbayani was allowed to stay deep in his favoured position of an attacking-midfielder role.

After seventy-eight minutes of glory, young Syku came off to a standing ovation at the Bekkside Stadium, being replaced by a man nine years his senior, earning his fifty-first cap for Starblaydia, Tetsuo Naoki. He made the attacking-midfielder role his own for over a decade and three World Cups, defining the key role it plays in Starblaydia's football. The damage to Rittarstan, however, had been done long before thirty-two year-old Naoki had removed his tracksuit.

Lyku-Agbayani had set up the first goal; a lovely defence-splitting pass for Nick Matranga, who had made a perfect run to beat the offside-trap, allowing him to bury it in the back of the net with a left-foot shot. Agbayani continued his good work with a well-struck free-kick that fizzed under the leaping wall and past a despairing 'keeper. A quick second goal before the end of half-time from Lyku-Agbayani sealed the game for Starblaydia, as he lobbed the 'keeper after a poor clearance from an even-worse backpass.

The destruction didn't end at half-time, as the more-physical presence of Martin Watt came on to replace the silky defensive skills of captain Jerome Montefalcon, suffering from heavy bruising after a sereis of heavy tackles. Jamie Majeed took up the armband and Starblaydia scored a fourth, Lyku-Agbyani starting and finishing a glorious attacking move which had pace, finess and deadly-accurate one-touch passing. It left him only with the task of tapping the ball in from three yards past a flailing arm from the Rittarstani 'keeper.

Syku and Darius went off at the same time, replaced by Naoki and Sodek as Starblaydia eased themselves into their first Bye week. Zhorin Tumunzahar, on the other hand, never seems to ease himself into anything. It was from his harrying of the Rittarstan defenders that led to Starblaydia's fifth and final goal for the evening. His pressing of the defence meant a hurried pass found its way to Tetsuo Naoki. Opening his body up for the shot, the Floral FC player struck a sweet shot that cannoned back off the crossbar. Always first to react, Zhorin showed how dangerous Dwarves are over short distances by toe-poking the ball into the net from close range.

Is a five-goal victory over Baptism of Fire no-hopers enough to keep Guylain in his job for the duration of World Cup 21? I can probably give you the answer to that by Matchday Fourteen, when Starblaydia travel to Hiiraan.

Talzeckia

23-02-2005, 21:35

Tides tumble into last, 5-3

In their second World Cup competition, the Talzecki national team has stumbled out of the gate, losing each of its first three matches and doing something the debutant Tides never did in their first foray into World Cup competition: spend a matchday in last place.

The team's 5-3 loss to The Eagles Nest, coupled with a 4-2 loss to Slaikau, has sent Avid Mashoda's squad to the bottom of the table in Group 9. With only three matches played out of nine, the team is by no means out of contention for one of the two automatic berths to the World Cup finals or a bid in the playoff series, but the Tides have only a national record for most goals scored in a match to show for their first three World Cup qualifying matches.

"This is frustrating, more so than the last Cup," Mashoda said. "Last cup we weren't expected to do anything more than tie our boots and play football the best we could. We started out of the gate with three tough matches and we lost all of them. It would have been nice to get at least a draw or maybe a win in one of those three."

Mashoda denied rumors the team was going to bench goalkeeper Nick Reynolds after the loss to The Eagles Nest, saying the losses weren't Reynolds's fault.

"Why would I? Can you find anyone else who'd do a better job in there," Mashoda asked. "Why don't you lace 'em up and get out there if you think you could do better?"

The Tides (0-0-3, zero points) will face Commerce Heights (1-1-0, four points) in their next match at Colonial Park in Constantine. The team is hoping to get as many green-clad supporters into the stadium as possible and team officials are asking fans to arrive at the stadium early.

"We don't want any of the problems Sonaron is having," Mashoda said. "We'd rather solve football problems than deal with logistics."

Sarzonia

23-02-2005, 21:47

Stars wake up, rip San Verdi, 3-1

Portland (ASP) -- Sarzonia is getting used to this.

The team is off to a strong start in World Cup qualifying once again, defeating San Verdi 3-1 in front of 48,239 at the Iron Bowl in Portland, Somerset. However, Coach Dave Wilson is cautioning against overreacting to the team's flying start.

"We've started almost every World Cup qualifying campaign with a strong record in the first half of the season, but then we slump in the second half," Wilson said. "This is not the time to get excited. We're expected to do well now."

The team got its three goals from recent Wild transfer Brian Wilson. The team announced after the match that Wilson agreed to a transfer to a team from Melmond [OOC: I don't remember the full name of the team and I didn't keep the TG. If you let me know, I'll add it in and delete this note] for the equivalent of $3 million USD. Wilson said he would officially change kits during the second bye match for the Stars.

"That's the best way to avoid distraction," Brian Wilson said. "They really seemed to want me over there, and that makes a big difference in my eyes. Not that Woodstock didn't want me, but it's nice to go to a new league."

"We'll miss him with the Wild, but I think it was time for him to play somewhere else," Wild Coach and national team assistant David Bostwick said. "The Wild will continue to soldier on. We always have."

The Stars will face Murflonia in their next match and hope to take the full three points before they face hated rivals Legalese.

"Going into that game, you want to be sure you're at your best," Dave Wilson said. "They backloaded all the tough matches on us, so we'll have to earn any point we can get."

Gaian Ascendancy

23-02-2005, 23:27

~ Gaian Team Achieves first 'Victory' in a Draw ~

Group 10
Vilita - Evalness 4-0
Oaker - Liamist States 3-2
Big Pimento - Gaian Ascendancy 0-0

Group 10 P W D L GF-GAPts
Vilita 3 3 0 0 10-1 9
Lovisa 2 2 0 0 7-0 6
Oaker 2 2 0 0 4-2 6
Big Pimento 2 0 2 0 3-3 2
Liamist States 3 0 1 2 6-10 1
Gaian Ascendancy 3 0 1 2 0-4 1
Evalness 3 0 0 3 0-10 0

GUNN Sports Desk: ~ The Sephiram finally pulled together a good defensive effort, despite their offense still stalling, scoreless in the tournament. The 49th ranked Big Pimento's were yet another great team the Seraphims are getting used to seeing in the World Cup.

The entire match became a defensive series of interceptions, as neither side was able to catch the other off guard. Both Keepers were on their game, the Gaian's stopping 22 shots, and the Pimento's stopping 18.

Howe almost lost a challenge at the 72nd minute when the Gaian Seraphims were growing worn out from reacting too much to the Pimento's strategy. A strike from the Pimento RF however was barely blocked off in time by Keeper Howe, earning him the play of the match.

Neither team walked away with a win, but the Gaian's saw this as their first real 'victory' of the tournament.

After during the press conference, Coach Kerensky and Keeper Howe answered questions.

*Excerpts*

Kerensky: "We held up more today, due to our determination to keep from being swept a third time. Needless to say, the Pimento's attacks showed their style, and kept us from scoring in yet another match.

Personally we'd see goals as much as a victory as ties. Personally wins would be even better."

Howe: "That one block I had to make was pure luck. It's the main reason we're happy with a tie. Still, I can feel for the team and the lack of scoring so far by our side."

Kerensky: "Oaker should see where we are as a team. It's almost like we never played the BoF, and are even more green then previously thought. Still, our team is learning with every match."

Howe: "If our defense holds up for the rest of the tourney like it did today, we might get away with a few wins before we head off to pasture when the playoffs come."

Kerensky: "Oaker is a few positions better than Pimento, which should make for another challenging match. We'll give them our all as well."

Howe: "Hope our nation like our team a bit better today. That's all that's really important to us at the moment.

..that, and beating Liamist." :p

--

Oaker should put even more pressure on the Seraphims. The Gaians seem to be getting used to the pressure of the World Cup, and it's hoped this game is a show of strength, rather than just a draw to the rest of the world.

Nova Britannicus

23-02-2005, 23:43

"Still on top of the Group, eh?"

"Yes, Charlie," Jean-Paul said, "despite not playing today, we're still above Audioslavia."

"Good." Charlie sat down again, picking up a drink with his left hand. His right still had a broken fringer from the particularly-hard jaw of a Sonaronian hooligan. "How're you going to play the Oceaice game, Jay-Pee?"

"I'll rest a few players: Jonesey, Goonerey, Pompeyey, people like that, probably."

"Save all the big guns for the visit to the 'Slaves," Charlie said, "Sound be a top match."

"Correct," Jean-Paul nodded, "we'll see how well Seafordy is holding up."

Charlie flicked through the paper, reading the football results. Nothing major had happened, except perhaps that the Belmorons had drawn to Nifty nick and got hammered by Five Civilized Nations. Oh, and Starblaydia losing 1-0 to Allanea, of course, but that wasn't covered extensively in the Britannican Press, lest it be considered gloating over their bigger and more-powerful brothers.

All in all it had been a top start for the Navy-Blues, two matches, two wins, seven goals for and none conceeded. Does that mean Fourteen wins with fourty-nine goals for and zero against? Unlikely.

Bedistan

24-02-2005, 00:00

In an office building in Griffin...

Man #1: "So how's our football team doing?"

Man #2: "All right, I guess. Three wins, but none of them impressive at all. 2-0 over South Osettia, 1-0 over Oliverry, and...I think 2-0 over Pubiconia."

Man #1: "Hmm...I'll check on that..."

Man #1 enters "http://www.sportsdigest.co.bd/football/" into his Web browser's address bar. After a bit of clicking around, he manages to pull up the match report.

-----

The Bedistan Sports Digest Online
Football > International > World Cup 21 > Qualifying > Group 8 > Matchday 3 > Bedistan 2-0 *****onia
http://www.sportsdigest.co.bd/football/int/wc21/qual/group8/md3/bed-pub.html

SONOMA CITY -- The Bedistan Green-Blues played their second home match of World Cup 21 qualifying today against *****onia. They felt like they had something to prove after a very narrow Matchday 2 win over Oliverry, and a nice rout of unranked *****onia would be just what the doctor ordered.

The team should really start following doctor's orders.

The *****onian players had a rather annoying tendency to wear their kits in a very revealing manner, and they received numerous cautions from the Jeruselemite [ed- is that the right word?] referee during the first half. Indeed, this may well explain why the Bedistani team did not perform as well as expected, as they spent much of their time concentrating on looking just about anywhere except their *****onian opposition. Nevertheless, team captain George Washburn did manage to open the scoring in the 25th minute with a well-placed free kick from twelve yards.

The most interesting event of the match occurred in the 41st minute, when Bedistani striker Vanessa Carpenter kicked a *****onian defender in the jewels. She claimed the defender exposed that area to her a few seconds beforehand, which was (unfortunately) confirmed by the replay. Both players received a red card, and it was ten-on-ten.

The second half did not last long, as the match was called in the 60th minute when *****onia was reduced to eight players due to additional yellow and red cards incurred for further indecent exposure. Alejandro Vantrease had managed to score a second goal for Bedistan shortly beforehand, and the score would stand at 2-0.

Not that it really matters, though. The Cockbill Street Football Association, partially in charge of this World Cup, announced shortly after the end of the match that the results of all matches against *****onia would be expunged, on account of the nation of *****onia no longer being in existence. It is also expected that Vanessa Carpenter's red card will be rescinded.

Final score:
Bedistan 2 (Washburn 25, Vantrease 58)
*****onia 0

Bedistan's next match is at home against Kaze Progressa. Believe it or not, we have never previously met the Progressans in a World Cup match. Tickets are already sold out.

World Cup 21 - Qualifying Results and Fixtures
Bedistan 2-0 South Osettia
Oliverry 0-1 Bedistan
Bedistan v *****onia - result expunged
Bedistan v Kaze Progressa
The Weegies v Bedistan
Bedistan v Liverpool England
South Osettia v Bedistan
Bedistan v Oliverry
*****onia v Bedistan - result expunged
Kaze Progressa v Bedistan
Bedistan v The Weegies
Liverpool England v Bedistan

All home matches to be played at Fillmore National Stadium, Sonoma City. EXCEPTION: Bedistan v Liverpool England will be played at Holmes Stadium, Columbia.

-----

Man #2: "Stupid curse word filter. If there's one thing I hate about using the Internet at work, it's that. Ah well."

Sonaron

24-02-2005, 01:20

Sonaron Enslaved By Number One's Defense
Audioslava avoids a home losing streak
Completing their opening sequence against the top three teams in their group, the Sonaron Pride traveled to Audioslava to take on the 'slaves, currently #1 team in the world. The Audioslavans were coming off of their first home loss in twenty years, to an Oceaice team that was expected by many to be grossly overmatched. Coach Raizor had exhibited some hope to salvage a point from the road tilt, but the 'slaves quickly shut down any semblance of the Pride offense.

During the first half, Audioslava controlled the ball in Pride territory for an amazing thirty-five minutes, dominating all aspects of the game. Pride keeper Shana Robinson looked like a banshee in goal, turning aside eleven chances in the first thirty-seven minutes before failing to get to a corner-kick that put the 'slaves up 1-0. At halftime, Coach Raizor pulled the ineffective Engel and Saton in favor of Thomas Carter and Arzlen, shifting to a defensive 4-5-1 in an attempt to keep the score close enough to leave room for good fortune and a salvaged point. Unfortunately, Carter's loose temper led to his second yellow card in as many matches, this one deep in Pride territory in the seventy-second minute. The 'slaves were able to go up 2-0 on the set play from the free kick. Over the last minutes of the game, the Audioslavan attack continued relentlessly, preventing the Pride from making any effort to close the gap.

Coach Raizor had nothing but praise for Robinson in post-game interviews, noting, "Shana has recorded a 1.33 GAA against three of the world's best teams, including eighteen amazing saves versus the number one team in the world. While we certainly need improvement, it isn't needed in goal." The coach also noted that Carter would serve his mandatory 1-game suspension for two yellows in the match against Haperd, and that Arzlen would fill his normal role. There was speculation that Arzlen would permanently replace Carter in the depth chart, but Coach Raizor refused to comment.

Goals:
Audioslava: (37', 73')
Sonaron: none

Fouls: Audioslava 2 Sonaron 7
Cards: Audioslava None Sonaron Carter, T (Yellow-72')
TOP: Audioslava 81% Sonaron 19%

Pride (1-0-2 -2, 5th place) Schedule:
WC XXI Group 4
MD01: @ Kylaai (W 2-1)
MD02: v Nova Britannicus (L 0-1)
MD03: @ Audioslava (L 0-2)
MD04: v Haperd
MD05: --REST DAY--
MD06: v Funny Looking Islands
MD07: @ Oceaice
MD08: v Kylaai
MD09: @ Nova Britannicus
MD10: v Audioslava
MD11: @ Haperd
MD12: --REST DAY--
MD13: @ Funny Looking Islands
MD14: v Oceaice

---

"Reporting live from Audioslava, I'm Susan Shelran. In the aftermath of the Pride's second consecutive match being shutout, rumors have begun circulating that the Pride have found a new stadium manager for the Rhovani Stadium Authority. Team officials have refused to comment, but several independant sources suggest that the former manager of Commerce Heights' Khillest Chroniton Field has entered negotiations with the Pride to assume control of day-to-day operations for Rhovani Stadium. It remains uncertain when any negotiations will be made final, although team officials have stated that they are willing to run the stadium as long as Matchday 10, if needed.

In other news, team officials have suspended Thomas Carter indefinitely for conduct detrimental to the team. Roger Arzlen will assume Carter's role as the primary substitute when the team is shifting from offensive to balanced/defensive formation.

Live from Audioslava, this is SNN."

Krytenia

24-02-2005, 02:34

OOC: I'm not actually blaming the scorinator. Just making fun of those who do ;)

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Forty-Three

AFTER losing two-one in a shocker of a result in Avidia against Kipto-Mare, Alan Munitis came up with a novel excuse -"Arpees". Munitis claimed:
"We came into this match with a better ranking and two half-decent Arpees, our opponents none? How the hell can we give up all three points after this? And now we're fifth in the group and it's all gone to hell in a shopping trolley."
Answers on a postcard please, to the usual address.

Krytenia - 1
Neasden 50

Kipto-Mare - 2
Kiptonui 22
Marea 74

QUALIFYING SCORERS
P. Neasden - 3
D. Van Staveren - 2
K. Xousa - 1

Kipto-Mare

24-02-2005, 05:58

KM's beat Krytenia 2-1. KM do not know who Kiptonui 22 and Marea 74 players are, but if their first name and position could be given we can add them to our squad. Kipto-Mare will look to win more games to qualify for the World Cup or to get into the Cup of Harmony for the first time.

Liverpool England

24-02-2005, 08:11

SOLE WC22 Bid officially announced in Liverpool England to the public
Comes as two national teams meet on the football pitch

The SOLE [South Osettia and Liverpool England] bid for World Cup 22 was announced to the Liverpool England public yesterday, nearly two weeks after the rest of the NationStates world. The FALE had withheld this info within the nation until now to mark the first-ever match between these two nations on the football field.

The Terminators took to the field wearing black armbands; a reminder that mourning for the late ex-FALE chief Paul Dussis was not over, amid these joyous times.

The Terminators were playing in their first officially-recognised World Cup 21 qualifier; an earlier 2-1 home win over Pubiconia was expunged from the database due to the nation ceasing to exist.

Their goals were grabbed by defender Kevin Hargrove from the penalty spot after 12 minutes after he picked himself up to slot the spot kick home, and the lead was doubled at the opposite end of the match 12 minutes from time when a searching clearance from Hargrove picked up Joseph Carreon for him to tap in the winner.

Praying2God

24-02-2005, 08:39

WARRIORS LACK FIGHT IN HOME OPENER

The Praying2God Warriors lacked any sort of fight in their home opener of WC XXI qualifying, in what could be their final WC qualifying attempt ever. The end result was a disappointing 2-2 draw with Gilgrado. The goal scorers for the Warriors were Kelly Carter in the 29th minute on a pretty pass from Ashley Gore, and Thomas Larson, who knotted the match at 2-2 on a goal in the 63rd minute on a cross from Kevin Faith. Head Coach Paul Johnson was furious after the match and promised a better effort from his team in their next match at Seton Rebel, but he would say no more than that to the media. None of the Warriors players were available for comment.

Sjwitz

24-02-2005, 10:28

From the latest edition of the Daily NewSjwitz:

First Point for Sjwitz

Going in to the match there was Slaikau, home team, after having a bye on MD1 they went on to beat Talzeckia in Talzeckia 4-2 and were looking in great shape. Sjwitz however, had been clobbered 5-1 on the first Matchday in Commerce Heights, then lost at home to Eauz 1-0. Things were looking quite good for Slaikau at that time to take the points. Things were looking even better when Slaikau got a penalty after 27 minutes when Simms, who got a place in the starting eleven due to Steiger's injury, roughly tackled the Slaikau offensive midfielder in the box. The ref didn't wait for a second to point to the spot, the crowd went wilt but... Frank Blurr saved the shot headed for the bottom left corner. Sjwitz were lucky however to see the match end in a 1-1 draw as they played a bad match and were frequently overrun by the Slaikau players. Sjwitz had taken the lead soon in the second half when Morrgh delivered a long pass up front, Sjwitzer headed it on and Bingk sneaked between two Slaikau defenders to get to the ball first and lob it over the keeper, an act of class. Which showed that indeed the team is getting better at Set Pieces and routines, but overall the play was moderate. This showed especially after the goal when the Slaikau team got many chances. It took them a while to score however, mainly due to great work by the central defenders Hamm and Jolt who should have shared the man of the match title, but one had to win so Jolt took it away. Slaikau did score however, after 79 minutes on a corner. The match bled to death and both teams should consider themselves lucky to have been awarded a point for such a disastrous appearance.

Sjwitz will have to pump up for their next game, if only to show the Sjwitz supporters that they really can play soccer. The game will be played in the newly expanded Soccerdome of Bayer Skent, which can now entertain 72k supporters at once, all seats are expected to be filled.

Sjwitz national coach Schmidt explained that: "I expected the Slaikau team to be stronger really. I had told the team to save some juice for the next game, in which we have to play a good match and preferably, get our first ever points at home. We could have won this but I'm just going to forget this last game as fast as possible and just be happy with our first point."

Sjwitz' Matches:

MD 1: Commerce Heights - Sjwitz 5-1
MD 2: Sjwitz - Eauz 0-1
MD 3: Slaikau - Sjwitz 1-1
MD 4: Sjwitz - The Eagle's Nest
MD 5: Talzeckia - Sjwitz
MD 6: Gibberonia - Sjwitz
MD 7: --- bye ---
MD 8: Sjwitz - Commerce Heights
MD 9: Eauz - Sjwitz
MD 10: Sjwitz - Slaikau
MD 11: The Eagle's Nest - Sjwitz
MD 12: Sjwitz - Talzeckia
MD 13: Sjwitz - Gibberonia
MD 14: --- bye ---

On MD 4 the other two matches in Group 9 will be:
Talzeckia vs Commerce Heights
Gibberovia vs Slaikau
Eauz gets a day off.

Standings:

Group 9 P W D L GF-GA Pts
1. Eauz 3 3 0 0 6-0 9
2. The Eagles Nest 2 2 0 0 9-4 6
3. Commerce Heights 2 1 1 0 5-1 4
4. Slaikau 2 1 1 0 5-3 4
5. Sjwitz 3 0 1 2 2-7 1
6. Gibberovia 3 0 1 2 1-8 1
7. Talzeckia 3 0 0 3 5-10 0

Audioslavia

24-02-2005, 11:53

Tons of Fun as 'Slaves beat Son
Second 2-0 win sees 'slaves shift up a gear

After the awful defeat to Oceaice and a scrappy win over Funny Looking Islands, Audioslavia looked a different team against talented newboys Sonaron.

AUDIOSLAVIA, 4-4-2
-------------------------------
| 12 |
| Walsh |
| |
| 16 5 |
| 6 Burn Johnstone 3 |
|Ceulemans Carel |
| |
| 15 |
| 2 Cairbre 11 |
|Rijsbergen 19 Jansen |
| Jeroen |
| |
| |
| 20 18 |
| Stürmläufer Bull |
-------------------------------
| 12 |
| 2 Robertson 3 |
| Engel Saton |
| |
| 7 |
| Salven |
| 4 5 |
| Bram Carter |
| |
| |
| 11 8 10 9 |
|Porter Douglas Reliford Farlen|
| |
| 1 |
| Robinson |
-------------------------------
SONARON, 4-3-3

'Slavian number 15 Brogran Cairbre looked infinitely more comfortable in his new found defensive midfield position, playing a kind of sweeper role behind the midfield and collecting any loose clearances or passes from the Sonaron defence. Jansen and Rijsbergen looked like getting back to the form of yesteryear with good performances, Jansen has lost none of his pace and Rijsbergen none of his resilience as they both contrived to get in cross after cross.

The 'slaves had opportunity after opportunity in the first half, playing on Sonaron's inability to defend high balls. Against a lesser team the score could have hit five before the break, but Sonaron's keeper Shana Robinson was on top form, denying Sturmlaufer and Bull countless times and making a superb double save from a Jeroen header and a Bull follow-up.

It was only a matter of time however before the 'slaves scored, and they finally did so on forty minutes. The Sonaron defence again indecisive at a corner kick which allowed striker Alcander Bull to direct a free header into the bottom corner. Even Robinson was helpless to stop it.

The second half saw changes by both sides. Sturmlaufer was replaced by fallen idol Ally Marriot for the 'slaves as they reverted to a 4-5-1 system. Sonaron themselves did much the same thing, bringing on two midfielders Arzlen and T. Carter for out of sorts Engel and Saton in an attempt to flood the middle of the park and try and grab the game by the jugular.

Sonaron's gamble seemed to work as they took charge of the game for the opening minutes of the second 45. Arzlen and the two Carters were getting the better of Caibre, Marriot and Jeroen which opened up the game for the dangerous Johnson Salven to work. Salven found he could soon trouble the 'slavian full backs and beat Ceulemans twice down the left, but his crosses were wayward.

'Slaves manager Neil Redbank saw the danger and took off the inexperienced (in that position at least) Ceulemans and replaced the number six with Darrien Zackary. Zackary, although half the player, could at least match Salven for pace and block his attempts at getting the ball to the striker, and the Sonaron midfielder's confidence started to wane.

Sonaron's one good scoring oppotunity came just before the 'slaves once again took control of the match. Arzlen lost Caibre in midfield and chipped the ball over to Thomas Carter on the right. A superb through-ball found striker Johann Robertson behind the 'slaves defence, but Sonaron's deadly marksman fired a blank straight at Walsh's legs.

The 'slaves dug themselves in and started taking the game back to Sonaron, however with more difficulty than before. Speedy winger Arie Jansen had tired throughout the game and was replaced by Jan-Arne Ericin, a good player but no good at taking the ball past defenders, and Ericin found himself left wanting against a resilient Robbie Farlen. Bull saw two long-range efforts curl away harmlessly whilst a Sturmlaufer shot was tipped away expertly by Robinson.

When the 'slaves finally scored their second goal it was more because of Sonaron's mistakes than Audioslavia's brilliance. Thomas Carter bundled down Marriot clumsily on the edge of the box, earning the midfielder a yellow card and a suspension. With Marriot recieving treatment on the side of the field after the knock, it was left to Jeroen to take the free-kick. Jeroen seemed to go for the shot, but it seemed underpowered on its way towards the goal, and Bull dove in to redirect it past Robinson for 2-0.

The 'slaves controlled proceedings from there on in to register just their second win in five games.

FINAL SCORE

AUDIOSLAVIA 2-0 SONARON
Bull 40
Bull 77

South Osettia

24-02-2005, 12:46

The next day, and after an encouraging 2-0 defeat to Liverpool England, their prospective co-hosts for the next World Cup, Emmett was in an upbeat mood. The team’s qualifying campaign was running smoothly, and with their next game being against Oliverry, they were on course to pick up their first win of the tournament. The news that Pubiconia had dropped out made it all the more important to keep up the good run of form – it would be a travesty to finish last in the group. Emmett was sure it wouldn’t happen, but there were no guarantees in international football.

As he entered his office, he saw Polly looking glum. His first thought was what could possibly be making her feel glum, whilst his second was why he kept thinking the word ‘glum’.

“What’s up, Polly? You look a little…down. Oh and how did the thing go yesterday?” She seemed not to hear him. “Hello, Polly?” She shook herself out of her trancic state, and looked around as if she didn’t know where she was. Then she saw Emmett.

“Er…what, sorry?”

“I said how did the thing go yesterday?”

“Parat said that he couldn’t get much out of the either.”

“Well, Tom got the wage bill yesterday, and he says that might give us a few clues.”

“Emmett, Parat also said that the players had been getting calls.”

“Calls?”

“Phone calls…from some guy telling them to go public with various things.”

“Really? Did they say what his name was?”

“Yeah…Costa Uboya.” Emmett stopped shuffling his papers.

“Costa Uboya?”

“Sound familiar to you too?”

“Uboya…Ubuloy? What the hell is Ubuloy doing trying to get the players to go public?”

“Maybe he’s setting you up.”

“Maybe? I’ve gotta check this out. Can you arrange a meeting for me?”

“Where?”

“Let’s do the Capitol again. Get him today, at two.”

“I’ll get on it, Emmett.” Emmett got up and was about to leave the room.

“Ubuloy…what the hell is he trying to pull?”

“I think that’s a question you’ll have to ask him.”

“Don’t worry, I intend to.”

***

“These players earn way too much.” Tom was sitting with Danny and Hugh in the canteen. They’d decided to get some pie, and nobody did pie like the canteen lady. The water cooler had been replaced, and Hugh was purposefully avoiding using it, drinking coffee instead. “Merrill Sigona, 900 000 a year; Merlin Hosman, 1 200 000 a year; Lane Volante gets nearly 2 000 000 a year! I’d kill to be his girlfriend.” That got him some surprised looks from Danny and Hugh. “Obviously if I was a girl…I don’t mean right now.” Danny was reading over Tom’s shoulder, and he pointed to one name on the list.

“Look at this guy…Kurtis Schuner. You ever heard of him?”

“Nope – I guess he’s some new kid.”

“He gets 600, 000 a year. That’s lower than anyone else by a considerably margin. Do you think it could be him?”

“Kids are impressionable…I think we need to follow this one up. Hugh?” Hugh, who had at that exact point been drinking his coffee, scalded his throat, leading him to leap up off his chair. “There was no need to salute me, Hugh; I was just making sure you were listening.”

“And I was…I was just scalding myself at the same time.”

“Right…you’re supposed to be good at intelligence; I need you to spy on this guy.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Spying? That’s what you do, isn’t it?”

“No, that’s espionage. I gather information and present it to Emmett.”

“But you only need to do that at the beginning of the tournament!”

“Yeah.”

“So basically apart from at the very beginning, you get paid to do nothing?”

“Yeah, that’s just about the size of it.”

“…Unbelievable! Look, you need to earn your money – go spy on this kid!”

“I think that’s illegal.”

“I don’t care if it means you go to hell, just do it!” Hugh left in a hurry, and Tom turned to Danny.

“You owe me a hundred kugra – I told you I could make him do it.”

***

“What did you want to see me about, Emmett? Have you come to accept my offer?” They were in the same café as last time, and the waitress had taken the same order: two cappuccinos.

“Forget about your damn offer. What in God’s name have you been doing calling up all the players?” Ubuloy frowned behind his sunglasses.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Costa Uboya? Did you think I wouldn’t guess it was you? If you’re gonna use a false name, at least make it believable!”

“Emmett, I promise you, I haven’t been doing this. I never called the players.” Emmett could see he was telling the truth. “I guess the person who did do it was trying to frame me.” Although Emmett knew it wasn’t him, he still argued.

“Oh come on, Qostaze! First you tell me that you were the source that talked to the press, and now this mysterious figure with a name pretty similar to yours pops up, and it turns out he’s been telling players to say what you told Price. Do you not think that’s even a little coincidental?”

“I’ll admit it does seem a little strange - ”

“Only a little?”

“ – but I assure you, it wasn’t me.” The two men sat in silence until the coffees arrived, where they proceeded to sip quietly. Emmett broke the silence first.

“So…do you have any idea who it might have been?”

“Emmett, I honestly don’t have any idea who would try and make it look like I was playing you here. I don’t resort to petty games like this, surely you know that by now. I’m straight down the middle.” Emmett couldn’t deny that. “But when you do catch this guy, send him over to me – I’ll have a few choice words for him.” Both men laughed, but then Ubuloy replaced his poker face and got back to business.

“You know what I would do if I were in your shoes right now? I’d let the player get ready to speak, then I’d pull the plug, take him in and give him a good interrogation. You see what I’m saying?” Emmett nodded. “I’m a nice guy really, Emmett. I’ll help you, and I won’t stab you in the back, but you’ve gotta trust me first. Do we have a deal here?” He held out has hand for Emmett to shake. A few seconds past before Emmett made a decision that would change his life forever. He put his hand in Ubuloy’s and they shook.

“We do.”

Giant Zucchini

24-02-2005, 13:28

NEWSFLASH:

The Zucchinis have regained some momentum after being thumped 6-1 by Turori, gaining their 2nd point in 3 matches, another 0-0 draw against Tadjikistan. Once again, Oshin was in fine form, stopping shot after shot after shot by the Tadjikistanians. Head Coach Tolar, "I think Oshin is keeping our World Cup dreams alive. However, our strikeforce must start performing, and soon, if we are to challenge for qualification."

Jeruselem

24-02-2005, 14:47

Jeruselem Government News

Antaeus failed to rise but doesn't fall either

Jeruselem played old rival Antaeus Rising today and expected win except they didn't. It ended up being a scoreless draw with the attacks a little off target and defense being the pergorative for the day. In the end, one point each but Jeruselem really should have won.

El Cid chopped up Krazie 5-0, a big win and a warning to everyone the Spaniads are here to play. One Red Dot had the bye so Lykaia took advantage and earned a 2-0 win over Danieljoh. The table for Group 1 is predictable but three teams are on 4 points with El Cid leading with 9 points.

It's only early days, but El Cid looks like being the top dog and others must match up to it's standards.

Group 1
EL CID THE HERO - Krazie 5-0
Jeruselem - Antaeus Rising 0-0
Lykaia - Danieljoh 2-0

Group 1 P W D L GF-GAPts
EL CID THE HERO 3 3 0 0 9-1 9
Jeruselem 2 1 1 0 3-0 4
Lykaia 2 1 1 0 3-1 4
One Red Dot 2 1 1 0 3-2 4
Antaeus Rising 3 0 2 1 1-3 2
Krazie 3 0 1 2 1-9 1
Danieljoh 3 0 0 3 2-6 0

Liamist States

24-02-2005, 15:12

Marmadukes Met, Found Wanting
Fail to Equalise
Ted Wehling, Liamist States Times

It was the third match for the Marmadukes and after yesterday’s game against Big P in Mayfair, Liamist States, it’s not surprising that some of the Marmaduketeers were expecting big things from their team. However, on the back of shock announcement that Son Defino and Byron Paskell would be permanently dropped in favour of bringing in Troy Champion to bolster the midfield (although in more of a sweeper role), some other fans were expecting a little bit of a down performance as the team readjusted to its new formation.

So Troy Champion came on for his international debut with the Marmadukes, up against a forty-third ranked Oaker. The Marmadukes did not have any advantages. They were not at home, had a new line-up and with a relative vacuum of experience, the Liamist States only playing their tenth game today.

And so, the match was underway. Neither team went extremely hard at each other. The teams seemed somewhat fatigued, the Marmadukes no doubt looking forward to a day off after Lovisa and Gaian Ascendancy, and disinterested. The Marmadukes seemed to be learning the art of pacing themselves, now starting to realise that twelve games in fourteen days is a hell of a lot harder to deal with than seven games in seven days, where they could have been knocked out after four, especially if both sets of games run on the back of each other. No longer did they throw themselves forward or rest too heavily on their defensive line. And so the match began by progressing at moderate rate, in an effort for teams to avoid outdoing themselves.

Scoring goals, even at this moderate pace, was unavoidable. The forward lines of both teams were of too high a quality. The first strike came from Oaker. Twenty minutes in and Oaker pressed a little harder than the Marmadukes were expecting and soon enough, the Liamists were caught unprepared with Oaker nailing a goal. Four minutes later, almost the same scenario happened but with the teams reversed as Hal Bell slotted home a nice shot from within the penalty box after receiving a brilliant cross from Troy Champion. And the last goal came in the thirty-sixth minute from a Killick-deflected corner which Oaker took gratefully, popping it up in the air and pushing it into the goals with a header. So with forty minutes of fairly flat and calm, moderate football, Oaker was up by a goal, two-one, over the Liamists States. Jamus Spring may not be overly disappointed with their performance, since Oaker are pretty much a better side, but he would probably want some more pressing attacks to brings this game back to the Marmadukes.

Unfortunately, it would not be so for the Liamists. Seventy-sixth minute and Oaker extended their lead. A nasty but unintentional tackle, made outside of the penalty square and resulting in Alvaro Wiggen being yellow carded, was used by Oaker as a cross opportunity to slam home a volley against Rainford’s attempt at a save. Oaker was up by two goals and it was time for the Marmadukes to get back in this.

Fourteen minutes for the Liamists to score two goals and my word, they attacked damn hard to get them. The Marmaduke’s midfield and forward lines were both constantly in their opposing half. Success came with six minutes to go when Rod Manoni slapped home a shot from well outside the box. The Marmadukes were just one goal in six minutes away from a point or two goals in six minutes from three points.

Neither scenario were realised and the Marmadukes had to bear another loss, going down three-two to Oaker. Maybe they were just too tired to fight on. With this loss, it seems it the Liamist States will have some difficulty in qualifying for the World Cup finals, looking at a potential fifth place in group ten. But the Marmadukes continue to play on, if nothing else but experience. The team is looking forward to perhaps a Cup of Harmony (a.k.a. Loser Cup) invitation.

The Marmadukes declined a post-game press conference, citing a lack of sleep.

Nonesuch Street

24-02-2005, 17:36

Nonesuch Survive Allanean Scare
Close Match Ends In Victory

Another close match for the Nonesuch Street team against supposedly weaker opposition, but Nonesuch are still unbeaten and still looking up the table, not down. The match, however, was scarier than many thought, and it wasn't in control of the Nonesuch team until the 70th minute, when Mightner struck a shot from 15 metres in behind a keeper who was hardly up to it at the time. A shame for Allanea, who had been playing great football before that, and had a huge penalty shout turned down when D'Iraq allegedly pushed their attacker in the box during a cross.

After that, the Allaneans couldn't really keep up with the pace, and the well-trained Nonesuch team slotted in another goal six minutes from time, Horking coming on as substitute and knocking in the ball off a corner. Despite the comprehensive 2-0 scoreline, possession was split fifty-fifty, as were goalscoring chances - but Highsenburg had another great day in goal, creating memories back to World Cup 19.

Nonesuch Street now play Rittarstan, supposedly the weakest team in the group, with a world rank of 133 - only 0.14 of a KPB point off the very bottom - and the whole of Nonesuch assumes a victory in this game. The real challenge comes in the next three games, when Nonesuch face Hiiraan - the toughest challengers for third place - Starblaydia, former World Cup quarter-finals and perennial qualifiers - and Melmond, possibly the unluckiest team in the World Cup, but at least they make it on a consistent basis now.

Nonesuch Street 2 (Mightner 70, Horking 84)
Allanea 0

Spurland

24-02-2005, 18:07

Easy Win For Spurland
Spurland 3 v 0 Anarquistan

As expected, Spurland proved to be easy winners at home against Anarquistan. Spurland strikers Martin Wolf, Tokai Hashish, and substitute Robbie Mead scored the goals.

”Finally we get the result we deserve,” said Spurland manager Morzaria, “We play in Karkatou next and hopefully we get a result there aswell.

”Im really happy with the team, and Hashish in particula, think ill buy them a few rounds. They deserve it. So wheres the nearest bar then.”

Spurland 3
Hashish 23’
Wolf 37’
Mead 68’

Anarquistan 0

Group 7 P W D L GF-GAPts
Dance 2 Revolution 3 3 0 0 8-1 9
Spurland 2 1 1 0 4-1 4
Spaam 2 1 1 0 2-1 4
Kipto-Mare 3 1 1 1 3-3 4
Krytenia 2 1 0 1 5-2 3
Anarquistan 3 0 1 2 2-6 1
Krakatou 3 0 0 3 0-10 0

The Weegies

24-02-2005, 21:40

From: David Trettion <sport.editor@weegiestar.co.wg>
To: Sandra McCabe <sandymccabe@mackintoshmail.org>

Sandy, where are you? Why haven't you come back from South Osettia yet? We need the SO game report soon, after all, the Oliverry game's in just a few days, and we at least need that in. Look, I know it's a shame we didn't win there, we were just unlucky that Riordan shook the post in those last minutes, but there's no need to get in a mood about it. It's unprofessional. Come on, deliver the report, or deliver yourself, and start working hard. You're the best sports writer we've got, after all.

Come back soon.

David.

From: Sandra McCabe <sandymccabe@mackintoshmail.org>
To: Gabriel Matteotti <gabe.matteotti@weegianet.co.wg>

It's nice here. Don't tell Dave where I am.

From: Gabriel Matteotti <gabe.matteotti@weegianet.co.wg>
To: Sandra McCabe <sandymccabe@mackintoshmail.org>

I'm not even going to ask. Are you going loopy or something, Sandra? Not been yourself recently.

From: Sandra McCabe <sandymccabe@mackintoshmail.org>
To: Gabriel Matteotti <gabe.matteotti@weegianet.co.wg>

Saner than I've ever been.

From: David Trettion <sport.editor@weegiestar.co.wg>
To: Gabriel Matteotti <gabe.matteotti@weegianet.co.wg>

Gabe, everyone's off. Sandra's gone gallivanting in South Osettia, and the rest have caught that bloody bug going around. Mind giving me a hand in sport, if you're not too busy and all? I mean, there's a lot of stuff to be reporting on in Alcaera at the moment, I know, but I deserately need a hand. Only the techies are left reformatting anything we actually have for the paper's back pages, and they write worse than a Hackneyite on Rian'laich. I'm stuck doing all the waffle on sports I've never even seen. I can't read Johnny Maxton's notes. It's like they gave a child a crayon and then blindfolded him. Help.

Dave.

From: Gabriel Matteotti <gabe.matteotti@weegianet.co.wg>
To: David Trettion <sport.editor@weegiestar.co.wg>

I know very little about sports, Dave. So I'm probably better qualified than most of your lot. I'll help, Gordon's covering Raissa. I've got little do except my column, and that's almost finished. I'll wander down from the chaos that is C&O and see what I can do for you.

Gabe.

From: David Trettion <sport.editor@weegiestar.co.wg>
To: Gabriel Matteotti <gabe.matteotti@weegianet.co.wg>

Remind me to buy you a thousand drinks. I owe you.

From: David Trettion <sport.editor@weegiestar.co.wg>
To: Sandra McCabe <sandy412@EHInetwork.org.wg>

Sandy. This isn't funny. Stop ignoring your messages. The Oliverry game's coming up in a couple of days, and we've got Gabe from Comment & Opinion filling in for what you're supposed to be writing about now - Riordan's knee injury giving him a twinge at SO - because everyone else in sport (7 bloody people!) have caught the East Hackney flu from that eejit in travel, McKay. I'm snowed under with 6 peoples work (it would be yours as well if Gabe wasn't such a good sort and was able to do this whilst writing on the Raissa crisis, Jellon is shouting at me for everyone getting ill, and I've had about seven seconds sleep in the past five days. Five less than usual. I'm going crazy here. COME BACK.

David.

From: David Trettion <sport.editor@weegiestar.co.wg>
To: South Osettian Govt - Sport Dept <sportdeptmail@southosettia.gov.so>

This may be a long shot, but I'm desperate. I work as the sports editor at the Weegie Star, the widest-read paper in the Weegies, and we sent a correspondent to your nation to cover the game (not a bad one, incidentally), a Sandra McCabe. She hasn't come back since then, and we've not heard from her over here for a while. Now, this is probably the wrong department to ask about a missing person, I know, but you lot set up the sports press boxes for the journos, I suppose, and she had a seat in there. Any chance that you know where she's gone, or could at least inform the people that can find missing people over there that she is... missing, that is?

David Trettion,
Sports Editor, Weegie Star.

Eauz

24-02-2005, 21:42

Open the floodgates

Wonderful day in Eauz, with the sun shinning and many fans on hand to watch Les Bleus face off against an unknown team from Gibberovia. Gibberovia though was coming into this match, with 1 point from a tie against Commerce Heights, and Les Bleus were trying to find their whole team, and organize it. Les Bleus seemed to prefer to use counter-attacks throughout the match.

Inexperience must have been on tap for Gibberovia, as 4 minutes into the first half, a defender lost control of the ball, as he fell to the ground. The early mistake, left it open for Vasser to take an open shot, but the Gibberovia keeper blocked the ball. At the 15th minute of play, Eauz had a great chance to put their team on the board, as Rousseau received a volley from Costé, but Rousseau couldn’t control it, and it went outside for a goal kick. A few minutes later though, off of a corner kick by Vasser, Theodoric sailed high above the group, and placed a beautiful header into the left side of the net, putting Eauz up 1 – 0. At the 28th minute of play D'Aubigne dashed down the field, into the left corner, and fired from the acute angle, the ball sailed towards the net, but was tapped away by the keeper. Fortunately though, Vasser was there, and knocked the ball in, putting Eauz up 2 – 0. Thing started to get rough during the 30 minute mark, as Rousseau was on the attack, he received a hard attack, knocking him to the ground. He got up again, and went towards the ball, but a Gibberovia defender was grabbing his sweater. The referee finally had enough, and booked the defender, and gave Rousseau a free kick. Gibberovia team protested the call, but the referee wouldn’t turn his ruling. The free kick was taken, an it was good, giving Eauz a 3 – 0 lead going into recess.

Les Bleus and their offence seemed to be much more organized and playing like the Eauz team of past. The three first half goals surprised many Eauz fans, along with coach Joseuf. The second half showed no major difference from the first. Les Bleus were still in major control over the Gibberovian team, which starts to become frustrated and lose formation. Due to this loss of formation, Eauz capitalised on it. A pass back on the break, from Alia, to Vasser, who let go of a rocket, which completely fooled the keeper. This put Les Bleus up 4 – 0 at the 70th minute of play. After the 4th goal, Les Bleus were told to pull back and finish off the match on defence. The team from Gibberovia was no match for Eauz, as Les Bleus finished off the match by the 4 – 0 score.

Les Bleus will get a short period off, due to the uneven number of teams in groups, which will provide Joseuf some time to get his team ready for the tougher part of the schedule.

Group 9 P W D L GF-GA Pts
Eauz 3 3 0 0 6-0 9
The Eagles Nest 2 2 0 0 9-4 6
Commerce Heights 2 1 1 0 5-1 4
Slaikau 2 1 1 0 5-3 4
Sjwitz 3 0 1 2 2-7 1
Gibberovia 3 0 1 2 1-8 1
Talzeckia 3 0 0 3 5-10 0

Match Day 1: Eauz vs. Talzeckia W 1 - 0
Match Day 2: Sjwitz vs. Eauz W 0 - 1
Match Day 3: Eauz vs. Gibberovia W 4 - 0
Match Day 4: Bye Period
Match Day 5: Eauz vs. Commerce Heights
Match Day 6: Slaikau vs. Eauz
Match Day 7: Eauz vs. The Eagles Nest

Match Day 8: Talzeckia vs. Eauz
Match Day 9: Eauz vs. Sjwitz
Match Day 10: Gibberovia vs. Eauz
Match Day 11: Bye Period
Match Day 12: Commerce Heights vs. Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz vs. Slaikau
Match Day 14:The Eagles Nest vs. Eauz

Melmond

24-02-2005, 22:10

Makinshakes Presents...
The Ketchup Times
Now you can eat your fries and read the latest news around Melmond!

Fearless Farmers Put Up Footballing Clinic Against Allanea
Usually, when a Melmondian paper makes a bold prediction about their own national team, the Fearless Farmers either underperform or completely choke. However, this time against Allanea, the Fearless Farmers performed up to expectations, or perhaps below expectations if you believe that the Fearless Farmers should have done better against Allanea than a 4-nil drubbing. Anyway, it was obvious from the start that the pure talent of the Fearless Farmers and the overbearing presence of the rowdy Fearless Farmer faithful at Feliz-Unne stadium with its superclose seating was too much for Allanea. They made many mistakes which Melmond took many advantages of. For example, the first goal was scored by Melmond midfielder Martin Goodwin Jr. when a bad clear by an Allanean defender went right into the feet of Goodwin Jr, giving him plenty of room to approach the keeper and get the easy shot past him, giving Melmond the 1-nil lead. The Melmond strikers would also have their fun in the first half, as a great string of passes led to Debora Unne earning her first ever international goal giving the Fearless Farmers the 2-nil lead. Gene MacDougall got his first goal of qualifying after collecting a deflection off the hands of the outstretched Allanean goalkeeper after a long and hard shot by Jake Cormier. Melmond would take a commanding 3-nil lead into half time. Melmond manager made some substitutions, putting in some of the younger or backup players in. Veteran striker Jamie Prior usually delivers when she is put in the match, and this match was no exception as a brilliant strike after a quick throw in and touch pass came to her feet to kick past the Allanean goalkeeper. Melmond played stellar defence and the omnipresent Fearless Farmers and their faithful completely sucked out any glimmer of hope and optimism Allanea had. The match could have been a bigger blowout if not for some bad aim. Melmond gets the easy victory against Allanea 4-nil.

Another Lowly Side Pounded by Fearless Farmers
The Fearless Farmers arrived in Rittarstan, a nation more noted for erratic weather and a devotion to the earthly NFL, which is the top league of American football on Earth, the Jacksonville Jaguars. The Fearless Farmers faithful, fans of Earth programming such as Three's Company and even Ritter bombs such as Stay Tuned were disappointed to find that mainly slack jawed yokels rather than devotees to John Ritter populated the nation. Either way, Rittarstan, a nation who did very poorly in the Baptism of Fire tournament, should be a cupcake for Melmond, and they were. They played at the national stadium of Rittarstan, which is usually used for American football. Some confusion happened during the match as the different lines on a football pitch were masked by the hash marks from the American football team that plays there. That confusing configuration cost Melmond many scoring chances. Melmond got off to a slow start in this long four match road trip interrupted by a bye day after this match, however once the match went into the latter part of the first half, the flood gates exploded when midfielder Pauline Hulme headed in midfielder Martin Goodwin Jr.'s corner kick to put the Fearless Farmers up 1-nil. Gene MacDougall would get the second goal at the 44th minute after he dribbled past most of the inept Rittarstan defenders. Melmond would take a 2-nil lead into half time, but it was still clear that Rittarstan had no chance. David Bixler once again brought in some of the bench players. Midfielder Belle Bete made a great pass in which striker Gene MacDougall capitalized on to make the match 3-nil. The final goal was scored on another Goodwin Jr. corner kick, this time striker Lave Serna used hir height to head the ball in. Melmond gets another blowout victory 4-nil and already has a little bit of a cushion going into the bye matchday to prepare for the tough road trip as they head for Chicanada, Starblaydia, and Hiiraan.

Melmond

24-02-2005, 22:21

Since the Fearless Farmers have an off day, we thought that we would present a nice non-sports story from the notorious tabloid rag the Bun, which got its start in Melmond.

THE BUN
"Without Journalistic Integrity, and Proud of It!"

Audioslavian Manager Dave Mill's Mother Has A Penis!
An unreliable source says...

The testimony of one Schismstani psychoanalyst says that the headlines in the Audioslavian papers hints at a startling family secret within Dave Mill's life, the fact that his mother has a penis. Dr. Sickmand Fraud, a Schismstani psychoanalyst points out that this secret is obviously wanting to come out and be resolved, "You can see here in these Audioslavian headlines 'Kill Mill Volume 1' and 'Goldie Looking Change' that he wants this to be out in the open and just get the circus over with!" Dr. Fraud continues, "As you see here, the Kill Mill volume 1 is a take off of the popular film Kill Bill volume 1, and of course a bill is anything that stick out, like his mother's penis." Dr. Fraud continues even more, "Of course Goldie Looking Change is a play on words with the popular rap band who had a hit with 'You're Mother's Got A Penis' so as you see here its all in an attempt to just slowly get the truth out.
In response to the mania behind this revelation, Royal Engrand rap group Pyrite Lookin' Chain has written a song called "You're Father's Got a Vagina," which is a hit in Royal Engrand and absolutely nowhere else.
However, there is a dissenter in terms of Fraud's testimony in Obsessed Muse Groupies physiologist Dr. S. Dementia. "It is possible that these headlines could be a clandestine way to sing for absolution, but reality is different in your world as it is in mine. I feel that it may have been an honest case of mistaking a penis for a plug in baby, after all I have heard that Dave Mill's mother is divorced, uno, single, one person, alone, and she may be endlessly pining for some satisfaction." Dr. Dementia adds, "However, if Mill's mother does have a penis, it will only take some microcuts and we can fix it."

In all reports, we want to report the most scandalous conclusion, so yes Dave Mill's mom has a penis. GOTCHA! Now here is a poll...

Which is the most tasteless?
This Article 14%
Spaam’s Lesbian Scandal 13%
Melmondian Beer 69%
Jimmy Hoffa 10%
Lighten up, it’s a musical reference gone awry! 6%
This doesn’t add up to 100%! .2%

Lethislavania

24-02-2005, 22:25

Matchday 3 is over, scores coming soon!

Crystilakere

24-02-2005, 22:35

Crystils select Tystrup as new goalie

Crystilakere Crystils head coach Hazem Emam has vowed to make changes after watching his team fail in their defense of the World Cup at the hands of Rejistania. Emam has made his first change in the position of goalkeeper where shining young star Alwasi Tystrup will be handed the starting position over Emiliano Addis. Addis has been performing well for his club in Melmond, earning goalkeeper of the year awards. But Emam was unhappy with Addis's performance in the World Cup after Addis gave up 3 goals to Spaam a very poor team, and two goals to Rejistania in the game that eliminated Crystilakere. No other immediate changes have been enforced, but more changes could come throughout the tournament.

Rejistania

25-02-2005, 00:05

Confused in Matix
The Orange-Blues played a team with the name Totally Useless Liars on the third matchday. The match in Matix Kali was sold out and the home fans saw their team win 2:0. Many substitutes were starting in this match against the lowly ranked team. Hitu Myjutes and Sijili Nj were debuting in the national team.

The ASR did admit that they had no idea who would start for the Liars since they did not release a true roster and insisted that SyLy, Urk, Ab Francisco, Alan Belmore and the Cannon Seven would play. This is surprising because SyLy was at the same time in Liverpool England, Urk disappeared with the nation of Giant Zucchini and his corpse was never found, Ab Francisco and Alan Belmore are both old enough to need wigs, thick glasses and hearing aids and the Cannon Seven disappeared with their country. No one was really surprised when a bunch of unknown players appeared.

According to TUL media, the 'totally insignificant team of Rejistania, only reknown for their highly attacking tactics had no chance in this match and the defending world champions won easily 20:0. This low score was only caused because the TUL team concentrated on defense in the second half.' After reading that, the team of the KaMaRi Update spent so m,uch time laughing that their stomachs hurt and there is not enough time to write the real match report. However:

The result:
Rejistania 2 (Makae 30th 76th)
Totally Useless Liars 0

Fmjphoenix

25-02-2005, 01:06

Vikings continue roll, defeat Nifty Nick on the road

When Mike Nolan hooked in his second goal of the match, the Vikings were already on their way to victory. Carlos Santos just made sure of it. Nolan and Santos scored a goal each within five minutes of the end of the match to help lead Fmjphoenix to a 4-1 victory over Nifty Nick, This win give the Vikings a modest two game winning streak and momentum heading into The Belmore Family.

Nolan opened up the match with a quick goal off of a defleted pass. One of the Nifty Nick defenders was trying to pass to their midfielder, but it was deflected off of the foot of Devin McBall right to Nolan, who beat out the Nifty Nick goalkeeper for a 1-0 lead at the 8th minute. Suprisingly, Nifty Nick came back quick with their frst goal of qualification, barely beating out a falling Powell Lamar, who tripped due to a broken off stick on his cleets. It took five minutes for an assisstant to run to the locker rooms to get a replacement pair of cleets because someone had locked the door. Finaly the match got restarted, but there was little action because Nifty Nick had put up a formitable screen, but it only lasted 15 minutes before Fmjphoenix was on the prowl. After a corner kick by Larry Brown, Jorge Mendel powered in the deflection for a second goal at 38 minutes. The last 7 minutes were uneventful, as the Vikings substituted players into a defensive form and the score kept at 2-1 for the end of the half.

The second half took a while to get started up, as neither team seemed to have much energy. Coach Wash was still playing in a defensive 3-5-2 formation, and more concentrating on keeping Nifty Nick away from their goal, and that worked quite well as no player on their team managed a shot on target for 20 full minutes until one of their forwards managed a crackshot that looked high, but was caught by Lamar. Finally around the 75th minute, Coach Wash called off the defensive formation and reverted to his original starting eleven, and the goals clicked. Nolan got a free kick when he was hit hard in the legs by a defender, and easily won over the goalkeeper at the 86th minute. Carlos Santos wanted to join in with the young boys, getting a last minute goal during time stoppage to keep the Vikings up 4-1, and solidify their best start in their short histroy. Mike Nolan was awarded man of the match for his two goals.

Fmjphoenix sits with two wins, a draw, and 7 out of 9 possible points. THey are tied with Iansisle for second place in the group. Next up for Fmjphoenix is The Belmore Family, who picked up their first victory in qualification with a 2-1 victory over Bryn Shander. They are sitting in fifth place with a win, draw, and loss each. Coach Wash is going to continue using the 3-4-3 with Quinten Bell in and Esteban Zeus coming in off of the bench. Look for the Vikings to be attacking hard and as often as possible to get a lot of goals and try and earn three more points on the road.

Fmjphoenix: 4
(Nolan 8, 86: Mendel 38: Santos 90+)

Nifty Nick: 1
(Unknown 15)

Fmjphoenix Qualification Run:
MD01: --Bye--
MD02: Fmjphoenix @ Five Civilized Nations Draw 2-2
MD03: Fmjphoenix vs Bryn Shander Win 1-0
MD04: Fmjphoenix @ Nifty Nick Win 4-1
MD05: Fmjphoenix @ The Belmore Family
MD06: Fmjphoenix vs Squornshelous
MD07: Fmjphoenix @ Iansisle
MD08: --Bye--
MD09: Fmjphoenix vs Five Civilized Nations
MD10: Fmjphoenix @ Bryn Shander
MD11: Fmjphoenix vs Nifty Nick
MD12: Fmjphoenix vs The Belmore Family
MD13: Fmjphoenix @ Squornshelous
MD14: Fmjphoenix vs Iansisle
Record: 2-1-0

Gaian Ascendancy

25-02-2005, 01:22

~ Seraphims pull off upset, First World Cup win. ~

Group 10
Liamist States - Lovisa 1-3
Gaian Ascendancy - Oaker 3-1
Evalness - Big Pimento 1-3

Group 10 P W D L GF-GAPts
Lovisa 3 3 0 0 10-1 9
Vilita 3 3 0 0 10-1 9
Oaker 3 2 0 1 5-5 6
Big Pimento 3 1 2 0 6-4 5
Liamist States 4 0 1 3 7-13 1
Gaian Ascendancy 4 1 1 2 3-5 4
Evalness 4 0 0 4 1-13 0

--

GUNN Sports Desk: ~ After several rough days of play and with a draw against Big Pimento, what happened today against the 43rd world's best team was completely unexpected.

The Ascendancy came in with one tie and two losses, as the Oakers came in with two wins, including with a hard fought win over Liamist States yesterday. The Ascendancy expected nothing less from Oaker as the match began.

Quickly Oaker took the ball and attacked the Seraphim's defense early on. The Gaians however managed to stave off the early assault for the first ten minutes of the match. But a missed tackle to Xan Tsgen by a Oaker Midfielder allowed Oaker to forward the ball, deep inside the Gaian side. Unfortunately Defender Julian Masaki was caught with a retaliatory tackle and was yellow carded, the first for the Gaian team.

While Masaki was berated from the sidelines by Coach Kerensky, and a lame Tsgen was replaced by Defender Sargon Drago, the early penalty shot got past Keeper Howe in the 23rd Minute. Again the Seraphim found themselves behind 1 - 0.

However at the next face off, moments later, Striker Ian Andersen took the ball and a sudden lapse in the Oaker Defense allowed Andersen to slip through and make a long range shot on goal, all the way at the outside goal box. Only a fluke slip-up by the Oaker goalie allowed such long range shot to even get through, also in the 23rd minute.

An enraged Oaker team tried to make up for their fluke mistakes by playing rough on the Seraphims. However the Gaians made two things work for them.

First was the apparent solid defense that Coach Kerensky kept level and strategy minded. Apparently the team was growing very used to the long term tournament style, and was even relishing in the constant stress of World Cup matches. Second was the sudden electricity that the two crows were having, even more since it was the first time since the Baptism of Fire Cup that the Gaian crowd was this electrified. The Seraphims seemed to feed off the song and chant from the crowd..

Gaian souls never let you down!
Our souls keep fighting all day long!
Never forget all we fight!
Their ways become our might!
Gaian souls will never let you down!

However the Oakers had other ideas and kept attacking the Gaian defense for the next eighteen minutes. However at the 42nd minute, the Gaians apparently spotted a gap in the attack and Defender Drago managed to steal the ball and shoot it through to Midfielder Fasha Clark, who then shot it all the way from the left side of the field to the right, where N'Buta Kerensky literally killed a side kick past the Oaker Keeper. Apparently the kick was done so viciously, the Oaker Keeper sprained his left arm in trying to stop the shot.

The Oaker second string Keeper was forced to play the remainder of the match, and the Gaians took advantage of that, as the Oakers looked suprised to be behind the 92nd ranked team. As the second half began, the Oakers ran into a suddenly stoked Gaian defense, one not ready to lose this chance. For the next twenty-five minutes, the Gaian's endured a severe series of attacks, including avoiding several emotion induced slide tackle attempts. here the Seraphims displayed apparent dexterity, even while defending the ball during attacks.

However during this flurry, the Oakers didn't get a clean shot at Howe or the goal, and by the end of this flurry, the wear was telling as the Gaian Midfielders gained more control over the ball.

In a sudden charge directed by Coach Kerensky, the Seraphim suddenly made a shift to a 3-3-4, and then as the Gaians gained momentum, shifted to a 2-3-5 attack, employing at sudden moments, their proven 1-4-5 attack, with it's confusing patterns and direct wearing down of the Oaker Defenders and weary Midfielders. Several times the Oakers Defenders slipped on their home turf and the Gaians would feint an attack to force other Oaker Defenders to crowd to the ball. Where the Strikers would pass the ball away at the last second, forcing even more movement.

This broke for a few moments at the 77th minute as the Oaker Defenders managed to force the ball away, but the attack was intercepted by Gaian Defender Masaki, who struck it deep to the Oaker side. However this became the luck shot of the day, as it landed past a running Ian Andersen on the center left, where he shook off a Oaker Defender, and shot it to Sean Masaki, just outside the Oaker immediate goal box, where Masaki shift kicked the ball, despite being off balance and left-perpendicular of the goal, worse with two defenders charging too hard to keep from bumping him, his kick sealed the match when the Oaker Keeper was also caught off balance, and the shift kick bounded off the Keeper's left leg and trickled into the goal. The Gaian crowd chanted and cheered like thunder as the Seraphim went up 3 - 1

But the Gaian's were far from safe, even two up, the Oakers finally broke out of the Gaian trap by taking it back to the Gaian's defenders for the remainder of the match. They even got four clean shots off during the 82nd to 88th minutes, but Howe again was the wall the Gaian's relied on most.

Even up to the whistle, the Oakers never backed down, but they never managed another clean shot, and the Seraphim could not only celebrate their first goals and 3 winners points for the Cup, but their first legitimate win. The smaller Gaian crowd still echoed like blasting thruster engines, their chants and song even stronger then ever before.

But there was one other chant interlaced after the match. "Liamist, Liamist, Liamist..."

Indeed, the coming match tomorrow against the rivals from the South Osettia BoF Cup region expects to be one of the more heated matches of the entire Cup. Even with only one match between them, the Gaians bristle with expectation.

*Post Match comments* (Coach Kerensky, Strikers N'Buta Kerensky, Sean Masaki, and Ian Andersen)

Coach Kerensky: "We took the Big Pimento match and built upon it. However we sure didn't expect 'this' result today. The fact we beat a team that beat out Liamist States, gives us even more confidence than ever before."

Andersen: *Nodding allot* "It's been tough, the matches in such a long string together, without a break is wearing. However we expected this from the start, and to win this soon even when two days before we wondered if we had a real shot at even scoring, shows how quickly we are learning."

Masaki: "Hi Mom. And yeah, it's a great feeling to win. However we won't put anyone down. What happened out there was as much luck, as was skill. But our defense is solid, and ready to play any match to the end."

N'Buta Kerensky: "I got a chance to take the shot, and even the spot to kick it was perfect. More than anyone could expect. I only hope the Oaker Keeper I accidentally injured with my shot will be well. But you have to admit that was one wicked kick I made." *Big fat smile*

Katya Kerensky: "Liamist... first time I talked about them, I made a slip of the tongue. No such this time. Plus we even don't care anymore about their psychological tactics. When the match begins tomorrow, we're going to play like it 'was' a championship game. We got a major score to settle with them.

What happened the first time around we met, will be like a practice match, compared to what we will bring. And yes, I want to egg them as much as possible, because if they don't bring their best, we'll be ashamed of them.

Even wet behind the ears champions like Liamist needs to be reminded of championship caliber play." *..said with a snicker*

Masaki: "Hi Mom. You know what. We met our first goal. Now we move to the next, beating Liamist. Even if we lose, and you know they'll say it'll happen, we'll know we made them return to champions form. If we win, full circle man."

Andersen: "Four matches and we sound like we can do anything. However with eight more matches at least to go, we're understanding that long term caliber play is the biggest obstacle to learn. The World Cup can't do anything less than but teach new teams that. The more we play, the better we get.

And the better our competition gets. We remind ourselves with that before each match."

--

The Seraphims, celebrating their first win, now looks to the match they have been waiting for. Even though they will meet a third time on MD12, focus is on tomorrow utterly. The team intends to take the momentum of the win today and use it hard on Liamist tomorrow.

But the team actually has a glimmer of hope for the playoffs, having drawn one good team and beaten a even better second, now comes the test to see how far the Seraphim can go in the World Cup.

The Seraphim and their nation are suddenly hungry to win. Very hungry....

--

Starters for Liamist States Match:
----

Keeper: (Home Guard)
GK: Kelse Howe

Defenders: (Shield)
RD: Lincon Dinor
LD: Julian Masaki
CD: Sargon Drago (Replaces Xan Tsgen, out with a left calf strain)

Midfielders: (Armor)
LM: Fasha Clark
RM: Eros Maine
CFM: Russel Issac
CRM: Pryde Tamara

Strikers: (Sword)
LF: Sean Masaki
RF: N`Buta Kerensky
CF: Ian Andersen

Chicanada

25-02-2005, 01:24

InterCanton Press

Chicanada Rallies Yet Again, Ties Melmond

Chicanada [2] [2] Melmond
Westington (2) (67) Unne (-) (17)
Kozten (4) (86) Cormier (-) (34)

Douala:

Chicanada might want to consider trying to win a match early instead of scaring everyone.

Weston Kozten and Jude Westington led a furious comeback in front of

Kozten, needless to say, was pleased with his performance, shouting "Finally" for nearly fifteen minutes after the match as the team headed to their press conference and shuttles to return back to Cana.

"I will gladly take a point," Coach Jesnui Viladetta said, "but we seriously need to stop with these comebacks! I'm impressed we're doing well with them but I'd like to see the team, oh...get a lead and hold it."

It was essentially a tale of two halfs, as Melmond scored very quickly, taking the lead in the seventeenth minute by foreward Debora Unne and going up 2-nil after a penalty call on Defender Eroden Venilill (for tripping) led to a Jake Cormier penalty kick a few minutes before the half.

Without any changes to the lineup, Chicanada came back strong in the second half and avoided their normal pratfalls of penalties that usually come back to bite them later in the game. Playing against younger and less-experienced midfielders from Melmond, Westington got a goal in the sixty-seventh minute off a bad bounce from Melmond defender Enid Clowes while Kozten nabbed his fourth of the tournament off a long-distance kick from Defender Loeb Noemi into a very open net.

Kozten said after the game "We got to quicken our pace early on and keep the pace up. We're extremly lucky to have escaped with a tie in this match and we need to keep the momentum going for our next few matches, since we're home and all."

By chance Chicanada ended up with four straight home matches and four of their next 5 are at fields throughout the nation. This does mean, however, that they will finish their last three qualifying games - including a second match with Melmond - away, putting pressure on the squad to get as many points at home as possible in order to get to the final 32.

The Kodiaks get a break tommorow [OOC: That is what Cockbill said with the schedule, right? I must check on that] before Saturday's Match 5 against Allanea at the 47,000 seat Shoreline Pitch in the northern canton of Livingston. The match is scheduled for 1000 CST and will be carried live by Northern and CanaTV. Most football pitches will be open after CFF play to show the game live.

Group 6 P W D L GF-GAPts
Melmond 3 2 1 0 10-2 7
Nonesuch Street 3 2 1 0 6-3 7
Starblaydia 3 2 0 1 7-2 6
Hiiraan 3 2 0 1 5-3 6
Chicanada 4 1 1 2 7-8 4
Allanea 4 1 0 3 1-7 3
Rittarstan 4 0 1 3 2-13 1

The official schedule for Chicanada Qualifying
(Home team is listed on the left side)

MD01 @ Starblaydia (L 1-2)
MD02 v Nonesuch Street (L 2-3)
MD03 @ Hiiraan (W 2-1)
MD04 v Melmond (T 2-2)
MD05 v Allanea (Shoreline Pitch, Livingston)
MD06 -
MD07 v Rittarstan (Ministry Fieldhouse, Paradiso)
MD08 v Starblaydia (TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD09 @ Nonesuch Street
MD10 v Hiiraan (Easten National Arena, Eastentown)
MD11 @ Melmond (Anachronism Park, Cali, Melmond)
MD12 @ Allanea
MD13 -
MD14 @ Rittarstan

[Edited to add info as provided by Melmond which makes the news more complete!]

Audioslavia

25-02-2005, 01:32

Guns Dont Kill People, Millers Do
Dave Mill hits back at Obsessed Muse Groupian claims

Citing reports from Melmondian psychiatrist Sickmand (sickmaaan sickmaaan sickmaaayaayaaan) Freud and Obsessed Muse Groupian Dr. S. Dementia has lead ex-Audioslavia manager Dave Mill to hold a press conference to deny these allegations.

Mill has denied reports of his mother 'having a penis', or indeed is father having a vagina, just for the record. In the conference he also slated Melmondian publication 'The Bun' for what he describes as "grotesque overuse of musical references, refering to a certain three-piece band called 'Muse'".

Mill says he is long Overdue an apology, and would have asked for one sooner had he been Sober enough. He claims that the Hysteria about using musical references in Melmondian newspapers is unjustified as it makes for bad journalism. When asked if he would like all the musical references removed he said 'Yes Please*'

Mill's assistant, Jimmy Kane* went one further, saying to Melmondian journalists:- 'Change everything you are, everything you were, your number has been called'. It is strongly denied that he was being a bingo-caller at the time.

G'nite bitches.

Rip-off count:
Muse - 7
Goldie Lookin' Chain - 2
Alice in Chains - 1

*B sides, look them up ;) :p

Oliverry

25-02-2005, 02:11

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/Oli55/Image3.png
Oliverry loses again

Marshalliston, Oliverry-A 1-0 loss against Liverpool England, a habituated world cup team. We lost at the 82th minute when Frank Kushner scored a goal by head hitting the ball into the net after a corner, the biggest failure of Richard Glannois.
"I really did allow a very bad goal" Has he declared after the game. I feel that I'm too much demoralized to goaltend the next game so I will let Yohann Dubé goaltend the next game"

The games was played ahead of 52 345 people. 80% of the people in the stadium were Liverpudlian. Oliverry is already in a 3 loss streak and it doesn't look well for their other game as they will play their next game at South Osettia, a very better team than Oliverry. The OSA also declared that they bought 5000 tickets that they will sell 50$ each to the population for that game in South Osettia. Hope this will help win Oliverry.

Krytenia

25-02-2005, 02:16

There now follows a statement from Komi Callali, KFA spokesperson:

We are very proud of our sides 10-1 win over Anarquistan. We are also ecstatic to be in third place in the group. Any reports you hear of us losing the game or being sixth in Group Seven are hogwash and socialist propoganda, put about by Lethislavanian agents of destruction. Krytenian football is rosy, and there is no crisis. We will qualify for the World Cup with ease. As we speak, KFA crack squads are purging this Lethislavanian menace from our cities. There is nothing to fear but Sarzonia. But they're not in our group.

No llamas were harmed during this statement. However, Mr Callali was hit by a loose Arpee.

[OOC: Lethi, you've slanied the tables again...don't forget to change the order from the starting tables. Rookie mistake. :)]

Anarquistan

25-02-2005, 05:20

ANARQUISTAN SPORTS GAZZETTE

FIRST WIN ON WCXXI QUALIFYERS

ANARQUISTAN 1-0 KRYTERIA
Anarquistan finnally won a match,defeating Krytenia,on the Anarchygrado Arena,in Anarchygrado.
The Krytenian team had only played two games and scored 3 points,counting with one defeat and one victory.Anarquistan with only one point in three games were aware that they needded a win to keep the qualifying dream alive.

Anachygrado Arena
65,000 Spectators
Weather:Clear

Anarquistan-1
1-André Ferreira (GoalKeeper) Cap.

23-Mazzioni(Right Back)
4-Jorge Silva (Central Back)
15-Kalapuzov(Central Back)
3-Roberto Leandro(Left Back)

6-Van der Lock(Center Midfielder)
7-Recht(Left Winger)
21-Claudio(Right Winger)
10-Estrela(Playmaker)

18-Maniatovic(Striker)
8-di Gallo(Striker)

Kryteria-0
1-Barcali(Goalkeeper)

2-Moliano(Right Back)
18-Goodley(Central back)
6-Valacci(Central
3-Oundle(Left Back)

11-Zavarov(Right Miedfielder)
4-Makenaar(Central Miedfielder)
7-Van Staveren(Central Miedfielder)
8-Persson(Left Miedfielder)

9-Neasden (Striker)
10-Xousa(Striker)

Anarquistan entered the match trying as usual to control the ball at the miedfielder,trying to brake the opposite defence

12' Counter-attack of the Krazie's,Makenaar wins the ball at Van der Lock,passes to Zavarov who centers for Xousa to head it wide

24' First real chance for Anarquistan,Estrela controls the ball on the atacking miedfield,put's in the right corner of the box to Claudio who shoot's it at the top of the bar,going out for a goal kick

33' Van der Lock lob's it to the area for di Gallo to voley,with an excelent save by Barcali

HALF-TIME

53' 1-0 Juliano in the attacking miedfield passes it into the corner for Recht to run and catch it,passes a defender at the end line,crosses it at the first post to Maniatovic,who scores the only goal

60' Juliano comes out replaced by Alamboeh

72'Freekick shoted just inches wide by Van Staveren

80' Neasden is fouled in the box.Neasden shoot's the Penalty for the save of André

FULL TIME

Flash Interview
André Ferreira
"We had a hard beggining at the qualifying,although is a very even group,and we only know we got to keep winning"

di Gallo
"I would like to dedicate my goal for all the people who came to see the match,for all the supporting and for still beleaving us"

Squornshelous

25-02-2005, 06:14

Pschychoes Poised for a big lead

Perfect through four matchdays
Going into the game against Iansisle, Squornshelous is coming off a bye in Matchday four. However, their performance in the first three matches, while not spectacular, was solid, scoring five goals and allowing zero. Although they seem to be planning a way to win the World Cup, shall we say, efficiently, the Pschychoes 9 points are still 9 points. The Ians will pose the biggest threat to Squornshelous in this qualifying group, and we feel that the bye has really helped to improve our focus. The players had time to work on specific drills to be used against the Ians and has been watching a lot of game film to try to learn some of their tendancies.
A win here would give Squornshelous a commanding lead over the rest of the group, especially if TBF can defeat Fmjphoenix. However, we won't underetimate them, Squornshelous will come out with both respect and confidence. "It sounds like a load of crap, but it really works," says forward Trevor Gerrard. "You have to be respectful of what your opponent can do, but confident that if you're careful and on your game, that you can stop him from doing it."

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Gerrard: 2
Popov: 1
Arnesson: 1
Zikov: 1

Group 5 Standings after matchday 4:

Group 5 P W D L GF-GAPts
Squornshelous 3 3 0 0 5-0 9
Iansisle 3 2 1 0 5-0 7
Fmjphoenix 3 2 1 0 7-3 7
Five Civilized Nations 4 1 2 1 5-4 5
The Belmore Family 3 1 1 1 2-4 4
Nifty nick 4 0 1 3 1-10 1
Bryn Shander 4 0 0 4 1-5 0

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins draws losses byes

MD01: Squornshelous 2-0 Five Civilized Nations
MD02: Bryn Shander 0-1 Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous 2-0 Nifty nick
MD04: Bye
MD05: Squornshelous v Iansisle
MD06: Fmjphoenix v Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous v The Belmore Family
MD08: Five Civilized Nations v Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous v Bryn Shander
MD10: Nifty nick v Squornshelous
MD11: Bye
MD12: Iansisle v Squornshelous
MD13: Squornshelous v Fmjphoenix
MD14: The Belmore Family v Squornshelous

Melmond

25-02-2005, 06:32

Choking The Chicanada
National Team Caught With Proverbial Pants Down in 2nd Half
By Dita Dutch of the Acosta Chronicle

DOUALA, CHICANDA—For a quite a while, it appeared that the Melmond National Team finally found itself a juggernaut of a side. It steamrolled past its first two opponents with the total score being eight goals to nil and came in to Chicanada and steamrolled this up and coming side. However, a wrench was thrown in the Fearless Farmer steamroller in the second half in the match against Chicanada. The machine broke down and the home side was able to tie the match with two goals in the second half, leaving the Fearless Farmers only with a single goal and in repair as their next matchup is probably the most difficult in qualifying, a date in Starblaydia.
Despite Chicanada being relatively new to the international footballing scene, one can see why they finished second in the Baptism of Fire tournament as well as being predicted to finish third in the group and actually having a chance to qualify for the World Cup in their first attempt. This club was a side with natural talent and a good manager, however they just lack experience at the top levels. However, during the first half, the Fearless Farmers took Chicanada and made them look like the chumps that fellow first timers Allanea and Rittarstan were made to look like.
Melmond was clearly control from the beginning of the first half, as they controlled the tempo by slowing down things a bit and slowly plotting their attacks. Whenever a boisterous Chicanada player tried to make a break for the ball, defenders such as Maxwell Wong were there to make them regret taking that chance. Melmond scored their first goal at the 17th minute, as Melmond striker Debora Unne was able to grind down Chicanada defender Loeb Noebi to get in position to head Melmond midfielder Martin Goodwin Jr.’s cross past Chicanada goalkeeper Jilin Dumaire to put the Fearless Farmers up 1-nil.
The Fearless Farmers tried to use a classic strategy that helped them be very successful in prior World Cup, grind down the opposition. The Fearless Farmers were aggressive with their challenges and positioning and seemed to be grinding down the physique and the psyche of the Chicanada side. A second Fearless Farmer goal was scored as after a controversial tackle by Chicanada defender Eroden Venilill. Melmond believed that there should have been a yellow card, but the referee just called it a foul and awarded Melmond a free kick. Midfielder and captain Jake Cormier took the free kick and was able to kick a powerful arc over the wall and past the Chicanada goalkeeper. 2-nil Fearless Farmers at the 34th minute. Melmond would take that lead into halftime.
Surprisingly enough, Chicanada did not make any substitutions for the second half despite the physical play of the Melmond defence. The Fearless Farmers seemed a bit overconfident as the same eleven for Chicanada came out for the second half. They appeared that they wanted to make an example of this side and Melmond played rather strongly until the Fearless Farmers thought they had this match in the bag and Manager David Bixler made some substitutions, putting in some of the younger and less experienced players in the match. Defender Enid Clowes and midfielders Frank Columbia and Jordan Grushka came into the match and out goes defender Laola Saenu and midfielders Martin Goodwin Jr. and Pauline Hulme. The new Melmondian midfielders didn’t seem to have the control of the match the first teamers had and Chicanada took the momentum away after a bad bounce of young Melmond defender Enid Clowes found its way to the feet of Chicanada midfielder Jude Westington, who just put the ball in the virtually empty net as Melmond goalkeeper Alex McCarthy had no chance to stop the shot. Melmond still has a 2-1 lead after that goal at the 67th minute.
Chicanada took the momentum and ran away with it, literally. The team which calls itself the Kodiaks took the ball and ran with it, and the physical Melmond defence had to resort to playing a game of chase the Chicanadans. Everyone was marveled at the fitness of this side, to bounce back after a literal beating in the first half to now tiring out the favored Fearless Farmers. The chase culminated in an 86th minute equaliser where a long kick by Chicanadan defender Loeb Noebi was cleverly deflected by the head of Chicanada striker Weston Kotzen. The match would end at 2-2 draw, a point for each side.

Goals
D. Unne, MEL 17th
Cormier, MEL 34th
Westington, CHI 67th
Kotzen, CHI 86th

Cards
None

Standings

Other Group 6 Results
Allanea 0 – Hiiraan 1
Rittarstan 1 – Nonesuch Street 1

Group 6
GP Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Melmond 3 7 2 1 0 10:2 8
2. Nonesuch Street 3 7 2 1 0 6:3 3
3. Starblaydia 3 6 2 0 1 7:2 5
4. Hiiraan 3 6 2 0 1 5:3 2
5. Chicanada 4 4 1 1 2 7:8 -1
6. Allanea 4 3 1 0 3 1:6 -6
7. Rittarstan 4 1 0 1 3 2:13 -11

Team Stats
Goals: Gene MacDougall (3), Debora Unne (2), Martin Goodwin Jr. (1), Jamie Prior (1), Pauline Hulme (1), Lave Serna (1), Jake Cormier (1)
Cards: None

Melmond National Team Schedule

v Allanea (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne) W 4-0
@ Rittarstan W 4-0
BYE
@ Chicanada T 2-2
@ Starblaydia
@ Hiiraan
v Nonesuch Street (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
@ Allanea
v Rittarstan (Makinshakes Stadium, O’Connor)
BYE
v Chicanada (Anachronism Park, Cali)
v Starblaydia (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
v Hiiraan (Microcosm Football Colossuseum, Aldi)
@ Nonesuch Street

Next Game
@ Starblaydia

A very tough task indeed for the Fearless Farmers as Starblaydia has numerous things to prove. This side is still fuming after the embarrassing 1-nil defeat to lowly Allanea. Despite plastering Rittarstan 5-nil, Starblaydia feels like they have much to prove in this upcoming match, not only for their performance thus far, but also for a performance 16 years earlier, where Melmond and Starblaydia met in the quarterfinals, which ended up a 1-nil Melmond victory as the Fearless Farmers eventually got third place. Starblaydia has never gotten further than the quarters. They would love to take out their frustration and improve their qualifying chances against the Fearless Farmers in front of their countrypeoples. Melmond also has to rebound from a letdown of their own, blowing a two goal lead against Chicanada. Manager David Bixler will keep his original starting lineup.

GK- Alex McCarthy
D- Notint Hecloset
D- Maxwell Wong
D- Charles Unne
D- Laola Saenu
M- Bob Fillyfoo
M- Martin Goodwin Jr.
M- Pauline Hulme
M- Jake Cormier
F- Gene MacDougall
F- Debora Unne

For tickets to Starblaydia, call the Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. Although the people of Starblaydia seem like very nice people, looking at their government description, you are likely to be Starblaydian purple if you don’t know the strict rules there. If you do go to Starblaydia, heed this advice, “Don’t ever badmouth Prince!” Tickets are sold out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news....

Infamous Tabloid "The Bun" Reports Their Rebuttal
You know things look very bad for your research department when a periodical with the slogan "Without journalistic intregity, and proud of it!" criticizes your research department. But that is what internationally published tabloid magazine "The Bun" is doing to former Audioslavian manager Dave Mill's assistance. In a written retort, the Bun, based in Melmond City, wrote that "it is really sad to see the facts of the story get mangled up by a shoddy research team. First of all, Dr. Sickmand Fraud, not Freud, isn't Melmondian, but Schismstani. He and he alone made the claims of Dave Mill's mother having a penis, and we just go along with it as we do with any other unfounded gossip and print it as fact. It wasn't an Obsessed Muse Groupian who made the accusation, but the physiologist from that nation actually believed that Dave Mill's mother never had a penis, supporting Mr. Mill's claim."
A couple of other quick statements about the situation came from Dr. Dementia who said that "They (Mill's assistants) should really look at the small print." Also the JAM (Journalist Association of Melmond) also was offended by being grouped with "the likes of fiction writers and disease spreaders such as The Bun." The JAM demands an apology from Mill's assistants.

Liamist States

25-02-2005, 07:26

Marmadukes Disappointed
Team Beaten Yet Again
Ted Wehling, Liamist States Times

The stunningly dark and dramatic atmosphere for the game was probably a little out of place. The Adali Football Temple is a huge granite structure, designed to impose fear on any who enter. The only light comes from ceremonial candles, except for the massive halogen lights above the field. The air quickly becomes stifling as more people arrive and add body heat to the air in the poorly ventilated building. No one knows what effect this would have on the either the Marmadukes or Lovisa. The Marmadukes were more or less used to moderate to high temperatures with a good deal of humidity. I didn’t know what Lovisan climate was like, but regardless, the Marmadukes were a fair way out of their league against a thirteenth ranked Lovisa and coming off a tiring loss against Oaker, who Gaian Ascendancy kicked today, morale was fairly low.

The team we knew as confident and brash during the BoF, were today depressed and very tired. Rod Manoni said pre-grame, “Some of the team just want to stay here and give up but we won’t. Well keep going because if we quit now, it ain’t gonna come any easy in a following World Cup. Unless we can win hosting rights but I doubt that could happen with such a new nation. We’re a bit pissed at the fact some of the newbs we toppled in the Baptism are actually doing better. Chicanada for instance, seems like they could actually get through to the finals. Wouldn’t that just be a complete *swear*.” Confidence inspiring, indeed.

Inevitably, the team took itself out onto the field and prepared to face what looked like certain defeat. In fact, they weren’t wrong. Half an hour had passed of game time and the Marmadukes were down by three goals. At the fourth minute, Lovisan striker, Georg Lunz, twisted the Liamist backline up and around itself, confusing all four of them and passed through like a knife through hot butter. Just two minutes later, Lovisa were through again, with Baecker pushing a long strike past the defence and into the top left corner. At the ten minute mark, the Liamist States had put in a less than stirring performance, conceding two goals, and still had eighty minutes left to play. Defeat marked the eyes of Hal Bell, Rod Manoni and Mi Rainford Jr, the team’s most important players. After a resurgent defensive effort, the team managed to pull together for another twenty or so minutes, until in the thirty fourth minute, Lunz struck again, pummelling a ball straight at Rainford. He didn’t diffuse the situation well enough and Lunz pounced like a Marmaduke (that’s the animal, not the team) on chocolate. A quick tap in the right direction was all it took for Lovisa to go three-nil up and seemingly, with over a half a game still to play, have it all wrapped up. Lovisa rested on their laurels for the remainder of the half, waiting for the Liamists to test their defence.

Jamus Spring was not impressed. The words “never have I seen such a shameful performance” and “you bunch of sissy Liamtonians” and “what the *swear* do you call that?” could be heard quite audibly over the dull roar of the crowd, with the assistance of the temple’s excellent acoustics. Having received a good yelling and a break, the Marmadukes looked more like their normal selves as they came back out for the second half.

Armand Iziary was responsible, after fourteen minutes of play, for the Marmadukes first and only goal of the game. The Lovisans continued to hold out against the Marmadukes and simply blocked their attacks, waiting for the game to conclude. Eventually, Iziary punched through on the tiniest of breaks and fired off a clean shot. The Lovisan keeper, Sievers, was caught unready, having a chat to a fan in the temple’s crowd. Armand put it past him and the Marmadukes had scored, bringing it to three-one.

The rest of the match was essentially just a back and forth between the two teams. Neither seemed content to sit back and wait but neither could really be bothered pushing through for a goal. Its a shame, many of the Marmaduketeers had payed good money to see today’s, and yesterday’s, match and were thoroughly unsatisfied by the quality of play and spirit of their favourite team, not even bohering with a post-goal song. Their first international season was lagging on the Marmadukes and so far, they had a newbie cup to show for it. Regardless, the remainder of the game was fairly boring with no more goals scored. The game wrapped up three to one, the Marmadukes shook Lovisa’s hands and looked like they couldn’t get out of the stadium fast enough.

The top four have a game in hand over the States and are still behind, sitting in sixth, a place below expectations. This will no doubt hurt the teams psyche before a big clash tomorrow against old foes, and BoF rivals, Gaian Ascendancy. It could well be a long slide down from here.

Group 10 P W D L GF-GAPts
Lovisa 3 3 0 0 10-1 9
Vilita 3 3 0 0 10-1 9
Oaker 3 2 0 1 5-5 6
Big Pimento 3 1 2 0 6-4 5
Gaian Ascendancy 4 1 1 2 3-5 4
Liamist States 4 0 1 3 7-13 1
Evalness 4 0 0 4 1-13 0

The team has again declined a press conference. It seems Jamus Spring has thought facing the media would be too hard on already depressed and disappointed players. Neva Jardin was pretty let down herself.

Praying2God

25-02-2005, 09:03

John Carlson (JC): Welcome to Seton Rebel for today's match between the Warriors and Seton Rebel. Who is Seton Rebel?

David Tall (DT): I have no idea. They're a nation new to the international soccer community...that's all I know.

JC: The Warriors have struggled so far in qualifying, only earning two points in two matches, when they very easily should have the full six points. How can the Warriors insure that they earn the full three points today?

Lisa Simonson (LS): The Warriors are lacking the swagger they had during WC XX qualifying, because this time they are expected to make a run at qualifying for the finals. They seem to be wilting under that pressure right now, John.

DT: The defense played horribly in the match against Gilgrado too. The Warriors definitely need to relax. This is a match they should win, unless they get too nervous and play tight again.

JC: We're ready for the opening kick-off of this suddenly crucial match towards qualifying for the Warriors...the referee blows his whistle, and we are under way in Seton Rebel...

**6th minute**

JC: The Warriors certainly came to play today. They have thoroughly dominated the opening minutes like they were expected to. Here's a ball into the box...Amanda Tracy gets her head on it...and it's OFF THE POST and is knocked out by a desperate Seton Rebel defender. The Warriors have looked strong early.

DT: They certainly have. This match could get ugly if the ball starts finding its way into the net.

LS: I don't think the Warriors would rub Seton Rebel's faces in it if they build a big lead in the first half. If they have a two or three goal lead at halftime, I wouldn't be surprised to see a lot of the subs in the second half.

**11th minute**

JC: The Warriors are playing keep away outside of the box...Kevin Faith passes to Christa Nelson...she fakes a pass...she shoots...SHE SCORES!!! Christa Nelson places a shot just inside the right post for a 1-0 Warriors lead.

LS: I'm impressed by the midfield play by the Warriors. They certainly have a talented starting trio in the middle, and two of them connected for that score.

DT: That was a pretty play by the Warriors. Even the Seton Rebel fans knew that they weren't going to shutout the Warriors, and that's no disgraceful way to lose the shutout.

**18th minute**

JC: The Warriors are back in possession of the ball just outside of the box...Ashley Gore finds Thomas Larson at the edge of the box...he centers the ball...and Kelly Carter gets to it first and heads it INTO THE NET!!! Kelly Carter scores and the Warriors extend their lead to 2-0 and we're still fairly early on in this match.

DT: Seton Rebel is definitely in trouble unless they can find an offense and fast.

LS: The ladies are taking care of business for the Warriors today, with the men doing the dirty work. That's a nice change to see. ;)

**26th minute**

JC: The Warriors are still in control of the ball in the Seton Rebel end...Gore hits Tracy at the edge of the box with a pass...Tracy shoots...and it's tipped wide by the Seton Rebel keeper for a corner. Seton Rebel seems to be simply overmatched by the Warriors today.

LS: Right now they do. I'm curious as to if Warriors Head Coach Paul Johnson will send out the second team for the second half. The starters could use a rest before their matches against the big three in their group, especially with two of those being on the road.

DT: The Seton Rebel keeper is very luck right now. This match very easily could be 4-0 Warriors, but some pipe and his fingertips have kept this match at 2-0.

**31st minute**

JC: Seton Rebel cannot clear the ball...Tracy with it at the edge of the box...she plays it into the middle...that's not a good thing for Seton Rebel, because Larson is in there...needless to say where that ball ended up folks...Larson heads it right past the Seton Rebel keeper and the Warriors lead is now 3-0.

DT: Seton Rebel may as well wave the flag of surrender right now and spare themselves the agony of almost 60 more minutes of this torture.

LS: I expect the Seton Rebel Head Coach will get them to play better in the second half.

DT: Could they play any worse???

**Halftime**

JC: Mercifully, we've reached halftime here in Seton Rebel with the Warriors thoroughly whipping Seton Rebel 3-0. Christa Nelson, Kelly Carter, and Thomas Larson have all scored for the Warriors. The shot totals at the moment are 9-0 in the Warriors' favor, and five of those nine shots have been on net. What can Seton Rebel do to get back in this match?

DT: They can't get back in this match, John. They can just hope to play a little bit more competitively in the second half.

LS: If they don't get too down on themselves, they might be able to try to make some noise in the second half, especially if Warriors Head Coach Paul Johnson brings in the entire second unit to play the second half.

DT: They'd have to get the approval of both the officiating crew and the Seton Rebel Head Coach to do that though, as it would mean that they would have exceeded their allotted number of substitutions.

JC: We've just gotten word that Johnson has done just that. The entire Warriors second-string team is going to play the second half. In the second half, the Warriors will line-up as such:

G: Laurel Thompson
D: Ellen Davis
D: Loren Peterson
D: Jessica Hollins
D: Jenna Sullivan
M: Jessica Stevenson
M: Michael Star
M: Gwen Wall
F: Sarah King
F: Alissa Madison
F: Kendall Hall

Only Sullivan and King will not be making their international debut for the Warriors in the second half, as the Warriors only carry three extra defenders, so Sullivan was chosen to stay in, and King saw time in one match (and scored a goal) in WC XX qualifying.

LS: The second half should be quite interesting now.

JC: We'll be right back after these commercials...

**81st minute**

JC: Seton Rebel has faired a little better against the Warriors back-ups, as the flow has been a lot more back-and-forth than in the first half. However, the Warriors back-ups seem to be a little tired. They aren't used to playing this many minutes...Seton Rebel with the ball in the Warriors box...there's a shot...and a goal. Laurel Thompson gives up the shutout and the Warriors lead has fallen to 3-1.

LS: The fact that the back-ups seem to be tired is not a good sign for the Warriors.

DT: You have to be impressed with the play of the back-ups, though, as they came within 9 minutes of completing a shutout for the Warriors.

**86th minute**

JC: Seton Rebel on the attack again...here's a shot from just outside the box by a midfielder...and it goes right through Thompson's hands and into the net, and the lead has suddenly become a scary-looking 3-2.

LS: And the Warriors can't do anything about it, as they have used up all of their transfers for this match.

DT: The Warriors are still likely going to hang on to this lead and earn their first win of WC XXI qualifying.

**90th minute**

JC: Seton Rebel has managed one last chance...the ball is on the left side...Thompson is playing at the far post...here's the ball played into the middle...Thompson is caught out of position...there's the header...

**whistle blows**

...the ball goes in...but the goal is WAVED OFF!!! :) The ball didn't cross the goal line until after the whistle blew. The Warriors barely escape with a 3-2 triumph over Seton Rebel in a very...interesting match.

DT: This certainly was an interesting match, but the Warriors' starters got a chance to rest during the second half, which may prove to be crucial with the Warriors' next three matches being at Tadjikistan, vs. Turori, and at Adam Island to close the first half of qualifying. Tomorrow's match very possibly could be a battle to determine third place...for one set of qualifying matches anyway.

LS: The normally tight Warriors defense almost had a monumental meltdown in the last ten minutes of this match, and it hasn't been up to its usual standards in either of the last two matches. The Warriors better find it in a hurry, or they'll get embarassed in their next three matches.

JC: That's all the time we have for today. For David Tall and Lisa Simonson, I'm John Carlson. Good night, everybody.

Krytenia

25-02-2005, 11:37

OOC: We now officially suck. Ah well.

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Anarqui In The UPK

TWO defeats in a row. Two defeats in a row against lower ranked opposition. Things are not looking good for the Caledonians as they went down one-nil against an upwardly-mobile Anarquistan.

The Anarqis started well, dominating midfield play, however it was Krytenia who had the first chance, Keith Xousa unable to worry the goalkeeper with a glancing header. The Krytenians continued the pressure, and on nineteen minutes only an excellent tackle from Jorge Silva stopped Neasden from breaking through.

Anarquistan were not set to roll over, though, and they got the better of the first half after settling down. Claudio, Van der Lock, Di Gallo and Recht all had their attempts at the goal. Most were off target, however one Claudio shot did graze the bar, but Melmond-bound goalie James Barcali was called into play on one occasion, producing a fine save to deny di Gallo.

The only goal of the game came eight minutes into the second half, and it came to Anarquistan. Eddie Moliano will not forgive himself in a hurry for letting Recht by, but the low cross was a good one into the near post for Maniatovic to slide the ball bast Barcali and into the net. A deserved lead for Anarquistan.

As the game wound down, Krytenia searched for the equaliser, and had a good chance when Persson was fouled thirty yards out. Dave Van Staveren, normally deadly from this angle and distance, was just off target, and though the shot had the beating of Ferreira, it also had the beating of the far post.

Just when all seemed lost though, a glimmer of light for the Celestials, as Phil Neasden was pulled down by Silva in the area. Despite protestations of a professional foul from the visitors, the referee produced only a yellow card for the Anarqi defender, however the penalty was still given. Neasden took it himself, hit it hard, but it was just too close to Ferreira who was able to push it away.

So much for the "easy" games then - three points from nine, and Spurland, Dance 2 Revolution and Spaam still to play in the first set of matchdays.

Anarquistan - 1
Maniatovic 53

Krytenia - 0

QUALIFYING SCORERS
P. Neasden - 3
D. Van Staveren - 2
K. Xousa - 1

Liverpool England

25-02-2005, 11:48

Forty-Four, says the FALE
Public have no idea what they mean; team beat Oliverry 1-0

The Football Association of Liverpool England have released a statement simply stating '44,' causing people in the naiton to speculate what '44' could mean, as the team beat Oliverry 1-0, not drew 4-4.

"I think it's a conspiracy! The FALE will break down after 44 more weeks," said one man who declined to be named. Another thought it could be the number of points the FALE wants the team to get in qualifying (although 12 * 3 = 36 maximum points). When asked about the 8 extra points, he shrugged and walked away.

"Could it mean that we're 44 games away from winning a major tournament?" When told that 44 games could mean stretching into WC22, the woman replied, "Really? Uh..... or could it mean we're 44 days away from qualifying for this World Cup?" Yeah, like the FALE could read the future...

Druida

25-02-2005, 12:27

Unnamed helper: "You know last world cup when we were looking for a rival?"

President Smith: "Uhuh."

Unnamed helper: "Well, I've been looking through Druid history to see what I could bring up."

President Smith: "Uhuh."

Unnamed helper: "Here's the potential list. Sliponia, for being Sliponia."

Presidnet Smith: "But they hardly play anymore, and when they do, they're so absolutely awful that they couldn't rival a team of... I don't know, moles, maybe? Who else?"

Unnamed helper: "Well, next on the list is Melmond. Even though most of our best players play there, there was a few things when the Cup of Harmony got played there that weren't exactly the nicest of things."

President Smith: "That's all forgotten about now. We all love 'em nowadays. Next."

Unnamed helper: "Turori."

President Smith: "Turori?"

Unnamed helper: Well, it isn't far to go, and they've played teams from the Druidish lands 16 times down the years, and sometimes, that piddly little island wins. 10-1-5 the Druid record is."

President Smith: "Well, it goes without saying that we don't particularly like Turori very much. Who else?"

Unnamed helper: "Anyone who played NEWI Cefn Druids during qualifying for World Cup 11 and 12 ranked lower than 80."

President Smith: "How many of them actually play any more?"

Unnamed helper: "Uh, none."

President Smith: "Well, who have we lost to the most times?"

Unnamed helper: "Eauz, Starblaydia and Turori. But we've beaten them all at some point too."

President Smith: "So apart from places that don't play anymore, who have you found that we don't like much?"

Unnamed helper: "Turori."

President Smith: "That's it? That's pretty damn pathetic, just like our team were at the World Cup in our own frikkin country."

Unnamed helper: "Sir, have you seen how the Druidan team are doing recently?"

President Smith: "No, why?"

Unnamed helper: "They're top of their group, and they won their latest game 5-1 away to Ratvipa."

President Smith: "Really?"

Unnamed helper: "Certainly did. Look."

*Shows him a copy of the Daily Druid.*

President Smith: "'Rat's the way to do it'?"

Unnamed helper: "Yup. Chilver, Law, Northfleet, Montenegro and your personal favourite, Defnyddiwch."

President Smith: "Yeah, but can't they think of a more original headline?"

Unnamed helper: "I don't think it's that they can't, more they can't be bothered."

President Smith: "Oh. So anyway, what were we talking about?"

Unnamed helper: "Rivalries, again, sir."

President Smtih: "I thought we'd forgotten about that?"

Unnamed helper: "Righto, sir. All forgotten about."

President Smith: "So who do the Druida team play next?"

Unnamed helper: "We just got back from there."

President Smith: "The supermarket?"

Unnamed hepler: "No, sir, Total n Utter Insanity."

President Smith: "We got back from there yesterday. We've only just got in from shopping now."

Unnamed helper *shaking his head*: "Jeez..."

Giant Zucchini

25-02-2005, 13:39

Zucchinis Thrash Adam Island For First Win in WCXXI Qualifying

A professional smash-and-grab display gave the Zucchinis a convincing first win at the Giant Zucchini National Stadium.

Although Adam Island enjoyed the lion's share of possession throughout the 90 minutes, Giant Zucchini were by far more effective with their time on the ball as they made their few chances count.

Perles grabbed the opening goal against the run of play in the ninth minute but there could be no complaints that Giant Zucchini deserved to double the lead when Sharleston fired home after 77 minutes.

Three minutes later, the match was over when free-kick specialist Madorna struck a stunning third from a set-piece.

Heeding the advice of former Giant Zucchini striker Poskas, the home side set about ensuring a first leg advantage with an adventurous, attacking start to the game.

But Adam Island’s intentions were signalled as early as the second minute when Giant Zucchini goalkeeper Oshin was beaten to a cross, but the Adam Island striker couldn't direct his header below the crossbar.

Oshin was by far the busier of the two goalkeepers throughout the game and did well to keep Adam Island at bay, beating out efforts from the Adam Island strikers.

But Tolar's tactical prowess was confirmed when his side took the lead in the ninth minute through Perles.

The Mato FC striker was Giant Zucchini's man over at the far post when Yusebo scuffed his shot as Giant Zucchini mounted a successful counter-attack and he slotted home comfortably.

Adam Island had continued success down the right wing, where they were busy creating chance after chance for the strikers in the centre, but neither of them were able to beat Oshin and find the target with a flurry of decent chances.

Meanwhile, Giant Zucchini sat back and invited the pressure upon them while breaking at speed and with the incision that almost led to a second goal shortly before the interval.

Adam Island's goalkeeper vacated his goal unnecessarily to charge down a through ball to Sarnos, but he had mistimed his run awfully and the Zucchini full-back lofted the ball into the centre where the keeper was fortunate enough to see only Adam Island shirts gathered to clear the danger.

The away side rallied as the first half came to an end and looked again the most likely to score as the teams emerged for the second half, but Oshin was proving a bridge too far for Adam Island, stopping one effort with his legs having already dived to his left in anticipation of a shot.

Giant Zucchini continued to look a threat on the break and almost doubled their advantage when Yusebo popped up to head against the inside of the post with little over 20 minutes remaining.

Adam Island was again lucky to see the ball bobble back across the line into the keeper’s arms. The Zucchinis didn't have to wait too long to grab a second goal, however, with Tolar's counter-attacking tactics eventually paying off for a second time as Madorna fed Beter who in turn laid the ball off for Sharleston whose low drive sailed into the corner of the Adam Island goal.

Much has been said of the qualities of Madorna's free-kick potency for Giant Zucchini, but Adam Island had obviously failed to take note as they lined up only a four-man wall to defend the Zucchini's 25-yard set piece with 10 minutes remaining.

They, like many before them, were punished. Madorna aimed the ball centrally enough and the Adam Island keeper would have felt the ball was heading straight into his grasp until it changed its flight path and found the top corner.

Final score:

Giant Zucchini - 3
Perles (9), Sharleston (78), Madorna (81)

Adam Island - 0

Man of the Match: Oshin

Sjwitz

25-02-2005, 13:51

From the latest edition of the Daily NewSjwitz:

The Dream is Over

After MD4's results it looks like the chances of qualifying for Sjwitz, Gibberovia and Talzeckia have faded away. Those three teams have dropped a big gap between them and the leading 4 AND all three of them have already played an extra match. The next three matchdays will see those three teams play against eachother and fight not to become last: "Let that then be our goal, there's nothing more we can do really, our team gave it all they've got against The Eagles Nest, but we still were unable to stand up to them. We were lucky not to lose by a lot more really. Looking at the standings and the matches played and to come, it's impossible for us to qualify, so from now one I'll be experimenting with formations and tactics and let other players than the standard 11 play.'" after which the obviously disappointed Schmidt quickly drove away.

The Sjwitz team was not able to stand up to the team from The Eagles Nest, that about sums it up really. TEN scored after 23, 37 and 57 minutes. Sjwitz managed to save the honour with a late goal from Roman Bingk. The 72k crowd was very unhappy and started booing the players when TEN had just scored the 0-2. It looks unlikely that the next matches will be played in full stadia, the average 'Frits Sjwitz' seems to have little interest in the team anymore.

"From coach Schmidts statements we can conclude that the team is in bad shape, morale has probably hit an all-time low after the series of bad results and thus we've come to the conclusion that the team will probably get somewhere between 3 and 13 points, but never enough to qualify for the WC" explained some sports-psychologists.

Sjwitz' Matches:

MD 1: Commerce Heights - Sjwitz 5-1
MD 2: Sjwitz - Eauz 0-1
MD 3: Slaikau - Sjwitz 1-1
MD 4: Sjwitz - The Eagle's Nest 1-3
MD 5: Talzeckia - Sjwitz
MD 6: Gibberonia - Sjwitz
MD 7: --- bye ---
MD 8: Sjwitz - Commerce Heights
MD 9: Eauz - Sjwitz
MD 10: Sjwitz - Slaikau
MD 11: The Eagle's Nest - Sjwitz
MD 12: Sjwitz - Talzeckia
MD 13: Sjwitz - Gibberonia
MD 14: --- bye ---

On MD 5 the other two matches in Group 9 will be:
Eauz vs Commerce Heights
The Eagles Nest vs Slaikau
Gibberovia gets a day off.

Standings:

Group 9 P W D L GF-GA Pts
1. The Eagles Nest 3 3 0 0 12-5 9
2. Eauz 3 3 0 0 6-0 9
3. Commerce Heights 3 2 1 0 7-1 7
4. Slaikau 3 2 1 0 7-4 7
5. Sjwitz 4 0 1 3 3-10 1
6. Gibberovia 4 0 1 3 2-10 1
7. Talzeckia 4 0 0 4 5-12 0

South Osettia

25-02-2005, 15:48

Hugh was angry. In fact, it was pretty safe to say that he was fuming. As he stormed into Danny’s office, slamming the door into the wall behind it (an event occurring for the second time that week), Danny leant back in his chair, knowing what this was about.

“You know, somebody’s gonna make a hole in my wall soon, and I’m not gonna be the one paying for it.”

“Was that meant to be funny?”

“No, I’m serious. If I didn’t make the hole, I’m not paying for it.”

“You know what I’m talking about. Was that meant to be funny?”

“Well, actually it was a bet, but that’s neither here nor there…for you at least.”

“My field is intelligence – it’s not espionage. I was following him for only ten minutes before he new something was up. He called the police. I spent the night in a jail cell for stalking.”

“Only ten minutes? I thought you’d last for at least twenty.”

“Goddamn it Danny, this isn’t funny.”

“No, you’re right. It wasn’t funny…it was hilarious!” Danny broke down, the tears streaming down his face.

“I’m so going to get you…you and Tom. I swear to you, by the end of this week, you are going to feel my wrath.” Hugh slammed the door on the way out. Danny was confident that nothing Hugh could do would catch him out – he was soon to learn otherwise.

***

“You did what!?!”

“I made a deal with him.”

“Emmett, why…why on earth would you do that?” Polly had been going along the same line of questioning for about ten minutes now. “He’s scum – he’s gonna rip you off the first chance he gets.”

“Polly, if I thought that was the case, do you honestly think I would have made a deal with him? He’s gonna help us find the player, and then he’s going to leave us alone.”

“You think he’s going to leave you alone once this is through? He’s going to keep coming back. He’ll be saying how he cracked the case, and how you cowered in the corner when things got too hard. He’ll say that you don’t deserve your post, and you know what? People are gonna start believing it.”

“Look Polly, I know what I’m doing okay. He’s telling the truth – I know it.”

“People like him are good liars. He’s like a car salesman. He can talk the talk, and he’ll make you buy, but a couple of yards down the road, and the wheels fall off.”

“You’re comparing this problem to a car?”

“…Okay, analogies aren’t my strong point, but you have to listen to me – call off the deal.”

“Sorry Polly, my mind is made up.”

“But you’re making a big mistake!”

“Then let me make it! Let me find it out myself! Let me learn from it, and…and do better in the future.”

“Emmett, if this thing blows up, you’re not going to have a future, and I don’t want to see that happen to you. You’re one of the good guys…you don’t deserve it.” Emmett could see that Polly was getting really worked up about this, so he tried to calm her down.

“Listen…if this things starts to get a bit sticky, I’ll pull out immediately, okay? I know what I’m doing – I’ve dealt with worse than this in my time.” Polly was reluctant, but she could see Emmett was making sense.

“Okay…but don’t think for a second that I think you’re doing the right thing.”

“Would I ever think such a thing?”

“Probably not, no.” Just then Cathy came through the door.

“Okay, I’ve got my latest press conference in a second, so I just want to recap on the details. We drew 2-2 with Kaze Progressa…”

“And that’s it.”

“That’s it? That’s all you want me to say?”

“Yeah – we can’t start talking about players, because it’ll put the focus on the thing, and if the press start spreading rumours, I’d hate to think how much of a wild goose chase we could get caught up in.”

“Right…you know, something tells me this is going to be an incredibly short press conference.”

***

“Okay first, some match details. We drew 2-2 with Kaze Progressa, taking the lead twice on 24 and 58, but then conceding on 43 and 76. This draw maintains our unbeaten home record, and keeps us on course to finish respectably this time. Okay, any questions? Kim.”

“Yes, aren’t you going to talk about the players?”

“No. Harry?”

“Er…why not?”

“Due to current communication problems, we’ve been unable to speak to the players or the manager, so we really haven’t got anything to talk about. Pam.”

“But surely you’ve been able to form some opinions based on the televised coverage?”

“If we have, I haven’t heard it. Any questions that aren’t about the players? No…well, I guess that’s a full lid then. Same time tomorrow then. Yes…”

***

"In case you wondering, yes I did look like a complete idiot."

"Never mind, Cathy...have a cookie." Emmett had bought a box of cookies from the shop across the street, but wasn't feeling very hungry - he'd just wanted to spend some money.

"I don't want a cookie. I'd built up a reputation with these guys, and now that's completely gone to pot. I have to build it all up again, so yeah, next time you want me to do that, I'm just going to say no."

"Well, maybe this'll cheer you up." Emmett handed Cathy a memo, which she snatched out of his hand. Her mood soon changed.

"You're kidding! Really?"

"Oh yeah...maybe you want to quickly go and get the press back. It's like...instant reputation." Cathy was already gone.

Sarzonia

25-02-2005, 15:50

Stars 'fluff' up stats, win 5-0

The last time the Sarzonian senior national team posted a 5-0 win, the stakes were much larger. They were facing a Giant Zucchini side that at the time was ranked 32nd in the world and had beaten them 2-0 in the previous match day in World Cup 17 qualifying. That win seemed to announce to the world that the Stars were a force to be reckoned with on the international scene.

The away win against Murflonia doesn't have nearly the resonance as that historic match against the Zucchinis because Murflonia is a relative newcomer to World Cup football and the Stars are now ranked 26th in the world. But Coach Dave Wilson and his lads will take this result.

"Any time you win a World Cup qualifying match, you learn to appreciate it," Wilson said. "Wins are tough to come by and we need every one of them as we go on."

The Stars made it clear from the first minute of the match that they would not be accused of looking past the hapless Murflonians. Forward Barry Alphonso broke out of a prolonged slump with his first goal of the World Cup qualifying season with a laser shot that caught the Murflonian goalkeeper off guard in the first minute. Just two minutes later, midfielder Bobby Convey snared his first goal with a header after outleaping a taller defender.

From there, it was off to the races. Goalkeeper Horace Sandt only made one save, and it was a desperation bid from outside the Sandt easily corraled. The Stars outshot Murflonia 24-3, with 16 Stars shots on goal to only one for Murflonia.

"We have a huge match against Legalese coming up," Convey said. "We want to make sure we focus and get as many wins as we can because the tough matches are coming right up."

"We need to be able to keep our intensity," forward Brian Wilson said. "This is not the time to relax. The other two teams (Crystilakere and Legalese) are also 3-0 and have better goal differentials. We've got to put our best foot forward against those guys."

GOALS:

Sarzonia: Alphonso (1); Convey (3); Wilson (28, 44); Darwin Russell (87).
Murflonia: NONE

Spurland

25-02-2005, 16:05

Spurland Score 6 Goals, Win 2-4
Manager Happy, Gets Drunk

Spurland continue their unbeaten streak by winning away at Karkatou. The team had an early scare when defender Chris Gardner put the ball behind his own keeper and into the back of his goal while defending a corner, giving Krakatou an early lead in front of their home fans.

Spurland soon got back into the game, and took the lead after striker Tokai Hashish scored two goals in the space of four minutes. Spurland now had the lead and seemed happy to defend it. The score going into the break remained 1-2.

Soon after the restart, the unthinkable happened, Gardener managed to put another ball past his keeper, this time from open play. He appeared to place the ball perfectly into the bottom right of the goal. He was immediately substituted.

But the Spurs took back the lead with a goal from midfielder Hunter Lentworth with twenty minutes left on the clock, he struck the ball from 25 yards out, the Krakatou keeper managed to get a few fingers on the ball, but was not enough to divert it away from the goal.

This time the Spurs weren’t content with the one goal lead and wanted to put the game beyond the reach of Krakatou. The goal finally came just before the whistle when Hashish had the easiest of tap ins after a searching pass from Jon Cream.

”That was some game,” commented Spurland manager Morzaria after the game, “I think I need a drink.”

The manager was seen later in the day at the team hotel in nothing but his underwear and a woman on his arm.

After facing the bottom three seeded teams in the group, the Spurs now must prepare themselves for the top three. The next game is away at Krytenia, who have so far have failed to impress and will be charged up to prove themselves. Spurland have only recorded one win against their next opponents in four games, which came qualifying for World Cup 18. The other previous results include draw and two defeats, including a heavy 6-2 loss.

Krakatou
Gardener (og) 7’
Gardener (og) 49’

Spurland
Hashish 18’
Hashish 22’
Lentworth 70’
Hashish 89’

Group 7 P W D L GF-GAPts
Dance 2 Revolution 3 3 0 0 8-1 9
Spurland 3 2 1 0 8-3 7
Spaam 3 2 1 0 5-3 7
Kipto-Mare 4 1 1 2 5-6 4
Anarquistan 4 1 1 2 3-6 4
Krytenia 3 1 0 2 5-3 3
Krakatou 4 0 0 4 2-14 0

Legalese

25-02-2005, 19:27

"As seen earlier on the Lancer Sports Network, Legalese took home their third victory in qualifying for World Cup XXI, with a 3-0 win over Everlasting Friendship. The win places the Black and Red in a 3-way tie for the group lead, as they are even with fellow Atlantican Oceanian regionmates Crystilakere and Sarzonia. Also in the running at this point are our neighbors, The Lowland Clans."

"With the remaining three sides down for the count at this point, it almost seems like instead of this being Group 2, this is Group AO. Here's soccer analyst Tony Mankell with more."

*Cameras shift to the Soccer Desk, with Mankell at the seat*

"Thank you, David. As we've been saying here, Legalese has come off to their best start in World Cup Qualifying history. This mixed side of newcomers and veterans have proven worthy of the first few test, though the real test starts next month, with the trip to Sarzonia. The history between these two clubs is already fierce, with Legalese winning their first ever matchup, a match the Sarzonians claim kept them out of World Cup XVIII. That 5-1 upset, which shocked the soccer world, would be avenged by Sarzonia a few different times, including the epic "court-pitch battle" in the final of Cup of Harmony XI. With the two sides even on points, this match could decide who gets in the easy way, and who has to playoff for the spot."

"Also tied with Legalese for the top spot are World Cup XIX champions Crystilakere. Legalese has played this side twice, both in qualifying for World Cup XX, and has had some close matches, if not the desired results. The Crystils have been the group favorites, and it would be a surprise to bet against them at this point."

"The final of the AO teams is Legalese's new neighbor, The Lowland Clans. While they had one setback during their first three matches, a draw to Murflonia, the two-point deficit is not about to put them out of it at this point. The first of the new Bekkside Derby should be an an important match for both."

"The bottom line here is that Group 2 really hasn't started yet. The group will be decided during Matchdays 5 thru 7, as well as the final three matches. This is, truly, the AO Group. Back to you, Dave."

Jeruselem

25-02-2005, 19:56

Jeruselem Government News

Faves get a move on!

Match day 4 of World Cup XXI and the top 3 have not lost a game yet. Today, El Cid has the bye and had to watch others doing the plundering for the day.

Jeruselem played Danieljoh and had a stroll in the park. The team won 3-1 to stay in the top 3 and One Red Dot continued the bad run for Antaeus Rising winning 2-1.

Antaeus Rising have failed to live up to their promise. Two losses to "lower" teams and two draws with the top 3 teams leave then 2nd last with only Danieljoh below them. They really need to get going or hanging around the bottom dwellers will be their destiny.

Krazie won their first game! Lykaia lost to them 4-2 and moved to 5th. However their goal difference really needs to be fixed as the top 3 have positive goal differences and the rookies managed -6. Lykaia must be upset at the lost opportunity.

So far, Lykaia and Antaeus Rising have not really challenged the favourites who seem to have matters under control. The rookies have performing better than expected.

Group 1
Antaeus Rising - One Red Dot 1-2
Danieljoh - Jeruselem 1-3
Krazie - Lykaia 4-2

Group 1 P W D L GF-GAPts
EL CID THE HERO 3 3 0 0 9-1 9
Jeruselem 3 2 1 0 6-1 7
One Red Dot 3 2 1 0 5-3 7
Lykaia 3 1 1 1 5-5 4
Krazie 4 1 1 2 5-11 4
Antaeus Rising 4 0 2 2 2-5 2
Danieljoh 4 0 0 4 3-9 0

Oceaice

25-02-2005, 20:02

Pirates steal new uniforms from Vilita

The Oceaice Pirates stormed the eastern shores of Vilita after their historic victory over Atlantian Oceania's Nova Britannicus in World Cup Qualifying and held the Vilitan uniform making shop hostage. At the end of the day, the pirates returned to their ship with a brand new set of uniforms that they planned to use when they faced the Funny Looking Islands on matchday 5. The Pirates started out with a bang, upsetting the top team in the world, Audioslavia in the same way that their homeland Crystilakere did to win World Cup 19. But the Pirates could not keep their momentum and lost to Haperd and Kylaai. The Oceaice Pirates will accept nothing but victory over the Funny Looking Islands, and the new uniforms will certainly help intimidate the World Cup newcomers.

Here is a look at the pirates new uniforms, stolen from Vilita

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/sports/teams/oceaice/oceaice.jpg

Audioslavia - Oceaice 1-2
Oceaice - Haperd 0-2
Kylaai - Oceaice 3-0
Oceaice - Nova Britannicus 1-0

Group 4 P W D L GF-GAPts
Haperd 3 3 0 0 5-0 9
Nova Britannicus 3 2 0 1 7-1 6
Audioslavia 3 2 0 1 5-2 6
Oceaice 4 2 0 2 3-6 6
Kylaai 3 1 1 1 5-3 4
Sonaron 4 1 0 3 2-6 3
Funny Looking Islands 4 0 1 3 1-10 1

Jeruselem

25-02-2005, 20:46

OOC

Hey Oceaice, put the table in

[code.]
...
[/code.]

(removing the extra dot)

Bedistan

25-02-2005, 22:54

The Bedistan Sports Digest

Lewis Found Dead in Cell
Nation mourns as BFA plans to select new president

COLUMBIA, FD -- Johnny Lewis, the president of the Bedistan Football Association, who was recently convicted of espionage and computer crimes after hacking the aSWORD e-mail server two years ago, was found dead in his cell at Henderson Federal Prison in Columbia this afternoon. Lewis was serving a twelve-year sentence for his crimes, and had been incarcerated for about four days when he apparently had a heart attack. Lewis, 84, died before anyone could reach him.

Lewis played for the Bedistan Lions national football team in World Cups 5 through 8, then managed the team in Harmony Cup 3 and World Cups 12 through 14. He was elected president of the BFA shortly afterward and has served ever since.

The BFA will be selecting a new president next month. They have currently declined to comment on any potential candidates.

The Green-Blues, as the national team is now known, will be wearing black armbands in their next match against Kaze Progressa in Lewis' honor.

Sonaron

26-02-2005, 03:54

Flailing Futilely
Only thing Sonaron can be proud of is record scoreless streak
272. That's the number on everyone's mind as the Sonaron Pride enter their first bye period of World Cup 21 Qualifying. In 272 minutes of international play, lasting from the 88th minute of their first match, the Pride have been held without a goal, despite opening in a 4-3-3 formation in each of the matches. People following the team have begun to speculate on the tenure of forwards assistant Joram Tainar, but Coach Raizor has steadfastly refuted any rumors of planned firings or demotions.

In dropping a 2-0 match to the relatively unknown team from Haperd, Sonaron ran their international home record to 0-1-3 (0-0-2 in cup play). The Rhovani Stadium Authority was once again in the news, as a large spill in the North access ramps forced the closure of the gate closest to the VIP parking area. Witnesses reported smells of rotting food and human excrement, although no one was permitted close enough to see the blockage. Team officials have refused all comment, although a newly scheduled press conference during the off period is expected to announce the hiring of a new stadium manager.

Despite the team's poor offensive play and the incident at the stadium, Rhovani Stadium was sold out again. Team officials expect tickets for remaining matches to sell out within hours of each sale date. Future sale dates will be relased for MD 6 and MD 8 next Tuesday.

Goals:
Haperd: (17', 37')
Sonaron: none

Fouls: Haperd 5 Sonaron 4
Cards: Audioslava None Sonaron None
TOP: Haperd 57% Sonaron 43%

Pride (1-0-3 -5, 6th place) Schedule:
WC XXI Group 4
MD01: @ Kylaai (W 2-1)
MD02: v Nova Britannicus (L 0-1)
MD03: @ Audioslava (L 0-2)
MD04: v Haperd (L 0-2)
MD05: --REST DAY--
MD06: v Funny Looking Islands
MD07: @ Oceaice
MD08: v Kylaai
MD09: @ Nova Britannicus
MD10: v Audioslava
MD11: @ Haperd
MD12: --REST DAY--
MD13: @ Funny Looking Islands
MD14: v Oceaice

Liamist States

26-02-2005, 06:39

Marmadukes Are Failures
Hold Press Conference On Trip To GA
Press Conference

Sitting left to right: Illario Forster (Media), Rod Manoni (Captain), Hal Bell, Christian Dressel, Armand Iziary (Forwards), Jackson Eaks (Midfield), Mi Rainford Jr (Goalkeeper).

Wehling: So what’s the deal with the play of late?

Manoni: We’re crap compared to these teams, plain and simple.

Bell: I just get shut down too much.

Rainford: And I get left open too often.

Iziary: Goals are scored against us and we can’t get enough back.

Dressel: These teams we’ve faced are far better nations than we are at football.

Eaks: For the time being anyway…

Jardin: How do you explain your lack of enthusiasm?

Rainford: We’re sick of losing. Coming from an unbeaten seven game run to a 0-1-3 run is not good.

Bell: It also doesn’t help when your fellow newbs do better. Gaian Ascendancy and Chicanada both have good wins down. GA even won against Oaker, a team who kicked us to the curb. So it’s no surprise we’re a little down.

Manoni: We still have two more games in the first half of the qualifiers against teams we should win against but win Allanea can defeat Starblaydia, I’m no longer so sure of our team.

Eaks: So we're depressed, not confident in our play and majorly disappointed.

Pickles: Don’t you think you’re letting down your fans with your attitudes?

Manoni: Yep.

Bell: No question.

Eaks: Its not like we can help being failures.

Renaga: Reckon you can pull out of it?

Manoni: Let’s just say, were thinking we may just qualify for the WC 23 finals.

Bell: If we’re lucky.

Rainford: Or get a hosting gig.

Pickles: Are you maintaining your rivalries with other teams?

Manoni: At the moment, no. We don’t want to look stupid when we make these claims and then lose out.

Iziary: Fat Asshole sent a fax to Chicanada making peace and we’re not even going to respond to Gaian Ascendancys taunts. We know when we’re down.

Bell: I’d say were going to finish sixth and will probably be underdogs for every game, except again Evalness.

Rainford: Hell, the only difference between us and Evalness is six goals in our favour and one point.

Dressel: Sometimes things are just really unfair.

Bell: It sucks.

Jardin: Any plans for post-WC stuff?

Manoni: Rest.

Bell: Training.

Rainford: Back to our families.

Iziary: Back to our club careers.

Eaks: Back to hating each other as the enemy.

Dressel: Looking for a new club in the Premier League when York is relegated this season.

Wehling: How are Champion and Smoots fitting in again? How’s the team dealing with the new formation?

Manoni: It’s a little hard to tell because we’ve been out classed both times against strong opposition.

Rainford: If we lose against GA, either the new formation is not working or we have really slid down.

Bell: Hell at this rate, we could lose ranking slots.

Forster: I think that’ll do for today guys. I don’t want Eaks breaking down in tears. We may see you after GA, hopefully with our first win.

Line-up for game against Gaian Ascendancy:
GK. Mi Rainford Jr
LB. Alvaro Wiggen
LCB. Thomas McQuary
RCB. Hugh Killick
RB. Drew Vallis
LM. Jackson Eaks
CM. Troy Champion
RM. Rod Manoni (C)
LF. Hal Bell
CF. Armand Iziary
RF. Christian Dressel

Group 10 P W D L GF-GAPts
Lovisa 3 3 0 0 10-1 9
Vilita 3 3 0 0 10-1 9
Oaker 3 2 0 1 5-5 6
Big Pimento 3 1 2 0 6-4 5
Gaian Ascendancy 4 1 1 2 3-5 4
Liamist States 4 0 1 3 7-13 1
Evalness 4 0 0 4 1-13 0

Overall Statistics:
P W D L F A GD
11 7 1 3 28 17 11

Top Scorers:
1. Hal Bell - 9
2. Christian Dressel - 7
2. Armand Iziary - 7
4. Rod Manoni - 4
5. Jackson Eaks - 1

DRAW
World Cup XXI
Qualifying (Group 10)
Loss (1-4): Vilita (2), Vilita
Draw (3-3): Big Pimento (49), GLS
Loss (2-3): Oaker (43), Oaker
Loss (1-3): Lovisa (13), Adali
MD05: Gaian Ascendancy (92), Fairbank
MD06: DAY OFF
MD07: Evalness (-), Trenport
MD08: Vilita (2), City de Liam
MD09: Big Pimento (49), Big Pimento
MD10: Oaker (43), Gradburg
MD11: Lovisa (13), Lovisa
MD12: Gaian Ascendancy (92), Gaian Ascendancy
MD13: DAY OFF
MD14: Evalness (-), Evalness

Cockbill Street

26-02-2005, 21:42

Matchday 5 qualifying scores are now up

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8306708&postcount=7:

Streetian Football Moments - Number Six:

However, Stuart had flopped his chance. And badly. He had placed the wall totally wrong for Marriot's free kick, and when Arie Jansen tried for his second goal with a sort-of half-hearted attempt, Stuart managed to fumble it into the goal. He could just bet that Helen was going to say...

The Streeters went into World Cup 19 cocky and optimistic, having beaten Commerce Heights and qualified on the very last matchday, and now facing Audioslavia - the world number six. And then, in nineteen short minutes, the knock-out dream was ruined by a terrible, terrible game by Stuart Underwood. Audioslavia's strikers got a free way to the goal, as described above, scoring three of the first four shots. The 'slaves turned into System Karela (although you won't get them to admit that) for the last 70 minutes, the Streetians rolled the ball, and the match at Kionao Park ended in 3-0. Despite a rally against Commerce Heights, which ended with a 1-1 draw, the Streetians needed a six-goal win against Lovisa to be assured of qualification - instead, the match finished 1-1 again, the Lovisans scoring after only 10 minutes, and the Streetians walked dejectedly home to their own cup, the IRC (which they won, strangely enough. An inquiry was started after that to find out how the Streetians could actually win anything.)

# 8 1-0 win over Evisceratomatoes, World Cup 10
# 7 2-1 win over Spaam, World Cup 14
# 6 Stu Underwood, World Cup 19
# 5 ???
# 4 ???
# 3 ???
# 2 ???
# 1 ???

Chicanada

26-02-2005, 22:42

InterCanton Press

Second Match, Same As The First: Chicanada gets second win against Allanea

Chicanada [2] [1] Allanea
Kozten (5) (16) Allanea (-) (73)
Kozten (6) (49)

Livingston:

Chicanda finally played a match they wanted to. It just took them a few games to do it.

Weston Kozten gained two more goals to help lead Chicanada into a scheduled break with two victories and within reach of the top three in the group.

"Look, we can play an excellent match!," Coach Jesnui Viladetta said, "and now we're back in the hunt for a playoff slot."

With it's win today coupled with Nonesuch Street's 6-0 loss to Hiiran and Starblaydia's 3-0 win over Melmond moves Chicanada into a tie for 3rd place and 4th overall based on goal differential to Melmond.

For a change, Chicanada dominated from the start. Loeb Noemi helped rally the Kodiak defense after it's miserable display against Melmond to prevent the Allanea side from getting any scoring chances until the last few minutes of the game, when yet another tripping call led to a goal off of a penalty kick. Kozten continued to prove why he is the best Foreward to play in the Chicanada Football Federation, scoring off of a fast break in the 16th minute and in the 49th minute after a corner kick from Foreward sub Jorden Pullman. Samuel Kleriton sat the game out due to stomach virus and plans to play against Rittarstan on Monday.

Kozten said after the game "We did what we needed to do. And as long as we play the game we know we can I think everything will work itself out in the end." Asked about reports that the Liamist States has sent a letter for peace between the squads, Kozten was surprised. "They didn't need to do that," he said, "they played better than us in the BoF and we're over it. I did hear they won today and we are cheering for them and all the other sqauds that were in the BoF...even if we have to play them twice."

The Kodiaks is off tommorow (perfect for those who will be watching the Chicanada Film Association Class of 1923) and will host Rittarstan at the 35,000 seat Ministry Fieldhouse in Paradiso. This will be the last match of the first half of qualifying. The match is scheduled for 3000 CST and will be carried live by CanaTV. Most football pitches will be open after CFF play to show the game live.

Group 6 P W D L GF-GA Pts
Hiiraan 4 3 0 1 11-3 9
Starblaydia 4 3 0 1 10-2 9
Melmond 4 2 1 1 10-5 7
Chicanada 5 2 1 2 9-9 7
Nonesuch Street 4 2 1 1 6-9 7
Allanea 5 1 0 4 2-9 3
Rittarstan 4 0 1 3 2-13 1

The official schedule for Chicanada Qualifying
(Venues listed if known)

MD01 @ Starblaydia (L 1-2)
MD02 v Nonesuch Street (L 2-3)
MD03 @ Hiiraan (W 2-1)
MD04 v Melmond (T 2-2)
MD05 v Allanea (W 2-1)
MD06 -
MD07 v Rittarstan (Ministry Fieldhouse, Paradiso)
MD08 v Starblaydia (TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD09 @ Nonesuch Street (Relatively Large Arena, Time Dilation City, Nonesuch Street)
(OOC: Thanks Nonesuch!)
MD10 v Hiiraan (Easten National Arena, Eastentown)
MD11 @ Melmond (Anachronism Park, Cali, Melmond)
MD12 @ Allanea
MD13 -
MD14 @ Rittarstan

Kylaai

26-02-2005, 23:40

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kylaai.jpgThe Reformed Islands of Kylaai

Goalkeeper: Mandoo Nania
Defenders: Lital Tirar, Hito Burrito, Vito Frito, Max
Midfielders: Rising Sun, Macala Moria, Tennence Fleiam, Norada-Fell
Attackers: Mazu Kazu, Vlanti Vimorta

Kylaai - Haperd 2-0

Kylaai have won a very important match this against Haperd. Haperd was the best team in group 4 and Kylaai was afraid to lose against this very good team. Now it is Kylaai with second best number of goals scored. Kylaai scored goals thanks to Mazu Kazu and Rising Sun. Before this game, Haperd did not give up one single goal against them so Kylaai is the first team to score on this very good Haperd. Audioslavia is a very good team but they have lost again they lost to Oceaice and now to Nova Britannicus. Oceaice and Nova Britannicus have the same points as Haperd all for first. Kylaai is two points behind them.

Group 4 P W D L GF-GAPts
Nova Britannicus 4 3 0 1 10-2 9
Haperd 4 3 0 1 5-2 9
Oceaice 5 3 0 2 5-6 9
Kylaai 4 2 1 1 7-3 7
Audioslavia 4 2 0 2 6-5 6
Sonaron 4 1 0 3 2-6 3
Funny Looking Islands 5 0 1 4 1-12 1

Kylaai would like to thank the nation team Legalese. Kylaai are no longer a nudest nation even though they used to be and now wear clothes. Legalese has given Kylaai the clothes they will be wearing for the rest of the world cup, and here is a look at them. The sample is from team captain Norada-Fell.

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2005-2/961520/image001.gif

Nonesuch Street

26-02-2005, 23:57

Hiiraan Having Fun
Nil-Six

Oh dear. The Nonesuch team has gone to new lows over the past couple of weeks, and look to head to a third straight Cup of Harmony following a dismal 1-1 draw with Rittarstan - and, even worse, Hiiraan swamping them 6-0 in the fourth match. How it is possible? Well, Hiiraan played a great game of football, in their moderately creative 4-4-4 formation (the Commerce Heights referee seemed blind to that fact), and the two Mustafa Khallids completely wrecked all hope for Nonesuch. Four goals between them in the first half reduced all confidence of Highsenburg in the Nonesuch goal, and it became all one-way traffic in the second half as well.

Kansu Lyku, still technically in charge of the Nonesuch side, stated after the match that "Nonesuch nothing do~could - 13 players had." A very good analysis, but nevertheless one that lacks an attacking attitude. It must be remembered that this was the important game for Nonesuch Street, and getting a win off either Melmond and Starblaydia seems impossibly difficult - but to qualify, the Nonesuch team needs that, as Hiiraan has gained a massive lead both on points and goal difference. The Melmond Fearless Farmers seems the most likely candidate, having stumbled both against Chicanada (2-2) and Starblaydia (0-3) lately.

Hiiraan 6 (M Khallid sr 11, 34, 68, M Khallid jr 22, 42, Ali Gaal 80)
Nonesuch Street 0

(OOC @ Chicanada and anyone else playing Nonesuch Street: Matches are played at Relatively Large Arena, Time Dilation City)

Squornshelous

27-02-2005, 00:05

One streak continues, the other ends

Squornshelous' defense stays strong but the attack fails this time
The much anticipated Squornshelous v Iansisle game was a bit of a letdown for the fans who attended at the SMV Center in Kakrafoon, Squornshelous. Both teams came out paying in a bit of a "System Karela" mindset. The defenses were flawless. Tackling, trapping and clearing exactly when needed.
Keeper Manuel Batista, who is playing in the cup for the first time, has started out as the most succesful keeper in Squornshelan football history. No Squornshelan keeper has ever logged 4 shutouts in qualifying before, let alone the first four games. However, we don't expect "Miracle Manuel" as he's being called at home, to continue too much longer. Fmjphoenix is a promising team that looks like they may upset their way into the cup. Something will have to be done about the Pschychoes' ailing offense though, for some reason the trio of Gerrard Popov and Arnesson who were so potent in WC 20 have been very quiet. Squornshelous is averaging only 1.25 goals per game, while Fmjphoenix is averaging 2.25. Even with the Phoenixes (or whatever) going up against Batista and the Squornshelan defense, the Pschychoes will probably need at least 2 or 3 goals to win this one.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 0-0 Iansisle

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Gerrard: 2
Popov: 1
Arnesson: 1
Zikov: 1

Group 5 Standings after matchday 5:

Group 5 P W D L GF-GAPts
Squornshelous 4 3 1 0 5-0 10
Iansisle 4 2 2 0 5-0 8
Fmjphoenix 4 2 2 0 9-5 8
Five Civilized Nations 5 1 2 2 7-7 5
The Belmore Family 4 1 2 1 4-6 5
Bryn Shander 5 1 0 4 4-7 3
Nifty nick 4 0 1 3 1-10 1

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins draws losses byes

MD01: Squornshelous 2-0 Five Civilized Nations
MD02: Bryn Shander 0-1 Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous 2-0 Nifty nick
MD04: Bye
MD05: Squornshelous 0-0 Iansisle
MD06: Fmjphoenix v Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous v The Belmore Family
MD08: Five Civilized Nations v Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous v Bryn Shander
MD10: Nifty nick v Squornshelous
MD11: Bye
MD12: Iansisle v Squornshelous
MD13: Squornshelous v Fmjphoenix
MD14: The Belmore Family v Squornshelous

EL CID THE HERO

27-02-2005, 02:12

the following actions happened between the hours of 8pm and 9pm.

Doomhammer at his sunbed as S. Sam walks in. S. Sam has a piece of paper in his hand and is looking contented.

SS: Sir, I have great news. it's... How long have you been on that sunbed?

DH: I would say... about 4 days. I think.

SS: well...err...why arn't you dead or burnt... or mildly tanned in any way?

DH: I know what you mean. 3 grand this bed cost me and it dosn't bloody work!!

SS: Sir did you rember to plug it in?

DH: ..... i see. 4 days of my life wasted. oh well. least i'm not dead. so what have i missed?

SS: ok. on MD2 we won 2-1 vs Danieljoh.

DH: ok, and then?

SS: on MD3 we won 5-0 against Krazie

DH: thats the biggest win the lions have ever had. fab. what happened next?

SS: MD4 was a bye and today...

DH: hang on a sec! a what?

SS: a bye. It means a day off, a rest. therefore no match.

DH: ok then. who comes up with all this terminology?

SS: Idon'tknow.

DH: and today?

SS: it was a one 0 win over One Red Dot.

DH: so to summarize in the last 5 days the lions have played 4 matches won all of them and only let in one goal.

SS: yep.

DH: and all this time i've been in this sunbed running the risk of skin cancer.

SS: yep.

DH: ok then. let hope we continue the good work, and as for the sunbed. i'm going to use a spray on in the futher. now i'm going to get me something to eat.

Liamist States

27-02-2005, 04:26

Finally!
Marmadukes Win Qualifier
Ted Wehling, Liamist States Times

One of the more anticipated of the matches in the WC21 qualifiers, the match against Gaian Ascendancy was to be a rematch of the old BoF foes. Having recently entered a form slump and an abyss of confidence, the Marmadukes were hoping that this match could turn around their fortunes. Playing out of the newly constructed Fairbank Football Stadium in front of a capacity crowd, the Marmadukes were finally up and able to get some confidence back into their veins and get out there and play. Kick-off.

The Ascendancy immediately pushed their attacking advantage, looking to draw first blood. Each time they were repelled (Rainford looked as if he were on fire: rolling around the ground and screaming in pain), the Marmadukes grew a little in confidence and pushed back harder. Soon enough, it developed into a midfield battle, each side managing to push the other over the halfway mark, only to be pushed back again. The Marmadukes were not to be outdone, always pushing back harder still and slowly gaining the ground they needed to take shots at goal.

Relief came in the twenty-eighth minute, after the Marmadukes pushed into the box and Christian Dressel fired off a powerful shot. Off the left foot, curving around an Ascendancy defender and swinging into the right side of the goals. Kelse Howe was powerless to stop it and the Marmadukes took the lead with one goal to Ascendancy’s nil.

The remaining seventeen minutes of the half were played like the previous twenty-eight: simple back and forth that neither team seemed capable of breaking without spending hours trying. Halftime rolled around and both teams looked fairly tired: it had been a tough match so far. Leading in the match, I doubt coach Jamus Spring was displeased. I couldn’t hear any shouting so he mustn’t have been too mad. The crowd’s energy was slowly building over the halftime break, perhaps sensing an oncoming win. The teams came back out and we were ready to rock and/or roll.

The Marmadukes were in a very shaky position, with only one goal in hand. Deciding that this wasn’t enough, Hal Bell found a stray ball in the sixtieth minute and punched a hole in the Ascendancy midfield. He was as surprised as the opposition were and launched a long strike from around thirty meters out. The ball zeroed in on the top corner of the net, just brushing past Howe’s fingertips. The Marmadukes had the lead and Hal Bell had just scored his tenth international goal and the Marmadukes’ thirtieth.

This was the end of their scoring run, as the Marmadukes leant back on their defence, as they did so often in the BoF. It was time to consolidate and not let Ascendancy pull any punches and sneak a goal in. Alas, a goalless Ascendancy was not to be, as Sean Masaki deftly pushed through the Marmadukes backline and nearly punched a hole in the goals when his strike left his foot. The Marmadukes still held the lead, by one goal, with twenty minutes to go.

Fortunately, the Marmadukes managed to hold onto that lead. The defence maintained its tenacity and pulled through the remainder of the game unharmed. Not for a lack of Ascendancy tries at goal but they simply couldn’t penetrate the Liamist midfield, let alone the backline. Troy Champion was instrumental in this, clearing and diffusing situations left, right and centre.

This win leaves the Marmadukes in equal fifth with Ascendancy, but behind on goal difference. If Ascendancy loses against Evalness tomorrow by more than two goals, the Liamist States will take the lead, however, this is unlikely. To get in front the Marmadukes will need to thump Evalness by two more goals than Gaian Ascendancy will almost certainly beat them with. Whether this is possible is up to Rod Manoni and the Marmadukes.

The Marmadukes declined another press conference, promising they would hold one on their match day off. Hal Bell was quoted as saying: “Yay! We won!” How original.

Gaian Ascendancy

27-02-2005, 06:44

~ Gaian News Conference ~

It was not the day to be. And it was a day that Liamist needed apparently more than the Ascendancy did.

The Liamist recap said enough, and the following was indicated at the following news conference.

*Excerpts* (Coach Kerensky, Sean Masaki and Kelse Howe)

Katya: "Nothing brings out the best in a team, like a rivalry. As we expected, Liamist took it to us. We congratulate them on their first Cup win. Limamist seems to have our number at the moment."

Howe: "Not my best day. But then sometimes the dog bites back. After our two previous matches, we got bit. But I don't feel too down. I do feel more ready to reprove myself again though."

Masaki: "I tried to give my team hope with that strike at the 70th minute, but Liamist simply wanted to win more badly than we did. Both teams are still very young, and we still have a learning curve ahead of us."

Kerensky: "No too big of a shake up, even with three losses so far. It's simply not our way to shift everything, with less than a full week of matches. I will say this however, Evalness is on our hit list tomorrow.

Long term wise, we're actually still in this. We only need a couple of wins, and a few other bits to got certain ways, and we 'could' still see third place. Knowing this, Evalness is getting everything tomorrow, that we couldn't get through Liamist today.

We are 'far' from finished. In fact now that Liamist about deadlocked with us, and a proven ability to match what Pimento and Oakers has, either of our two teams has a 'real' shot at third place.

..we will take it to Evalness. Make no mistake."

--

Despite losing, the team is retaining it's high spirits, knowing that every game adds to their experience. Also the full squad will be back for the match tomorrow.

Starters for the Evalness match.
----

Keeper: (Home Guard)
GK: Kelse Howe

Defenders: (Shield)
RD: Lincon Dinor
LD: Julian Masaki
CD: Xan Tsgen

Midfielders: (Armor)
LM: Fasha Clark
RM: Eros Maine
CFM: Russel Issac
CRM: Pryde Tamara

Strikers: (Sword)
LF: Sean Masaki
RF: N`Buta Kerensky
CF: Ian Andersen

Fmjphoenix

27-02-2005, 09:04

Vikings remain undefeated, play to draw against The Belmore Family

When Jason Mitchell realized what happened, he was estatic. His last minute shot as time stoppage expired had been waived off as not going in before the whistle blew, but when it was argued and rechecked, the shot had crossed into the goal before the whistle had blown, therefore giving Fmjphoenix a 2-2 draw with The Belmore Family. This marks the longest point in World Cup qualifiers that the Vikings have been undefeated.

Before we get into that mumbo jumbo, there was a rather exciting match that took place. It was everything that was expected of teams competing for the final qualification spots. There was not scoring in the first half, as the first half comprised of amazing goalkeeping by Powell Lamar and his TBF adversary. The Vikings had 5 shots on target to TBF's 6, but both goalkeepers refused to let anything go by, the most amazing being Lamar's diving catch that saw him dive into the goalpost. Amazingly, he was not seriously hurt and continued playing the match. Both teams looked physically tired from all the running up and down the pitch, but if you looked close into the eyes of each player, there was fire and determination in them, showing no quit in them.

The second half came fast, with TBF striking first with a shot that took a wicked bounce and hook that left Lamar dazed and confused.The ball was kicked one way, headed in the other direction, then hooked back into the original direction of the kick. Noone had ever seen a kick like that before, and it is being played on all of the Fmjphoenix news shows as something unbelievable. But Fmjphoenix came back with a strike from Brended Kapono, geting some garbage time, giving Jorge Mendel some rest. Nothing to fancy, but it was a hard hit ball that TBF's goalkeeper could not get to. Its tied 1-1 with 5 minutes left in the match. A TBF forward got the ball off of a deflected pass by Carlos Santos, and was left alone for a one on one with Lamar that narrowly got by for a goal. TBF dropped into a 0-5-5 formation, utilized none of their forwards, in an attempt to get their best defensive players on the pitch to stop any attempt by Fmjphoenix. It nearly worked as Mitchell recieved a long pass from defender Tra Miranda and kicked it as hard as he could from about 20 feet out. It hooked over the goalkeepers hands as the whistle blew. But the score was put to rest as the referees turned their call of no goal into a goal and both teams walked away earning a point to keep in the race for qualification.

Now the Vikings are in preperation for their toughest opponent yet, Squornshelous. Luckily for Fmjphoenix, they get to play home, in the comfort of Viking Arena. The match has been sould out since the schedules were compiled, as people all across Fmjphoenix anticipated this as the hardest match. Squornshelous is the top ranked team in the group, and also have the best score differencial, scoring only 5 goals, but not allowing a single goal in yet. This will be the biggest test for Fmjphoenix, as they have not played a defense with the "System Karela". This is something the Fmjphoenix Sports Center is going to look up and prepare for the team to anticipate. They have already been going over match film, looking for any loopholes or mistakes in the Pschychoes play, and are expected to be prepared to give a good fight to try and stay undefeated and walk away with at least one point from the match.

Fmjphoenix Qualification Run:
MD01: --Bye--
MD02: Fmjphoenix @ Five Civilized Nations Draw 2-2
MD03: Fmjphoenix vs Bryn Shander Win 1-0
MD04: Fmjphoenix @ Nifty Nick Win 4-1
MD05: Fmjphoenix @ The Belmore Family Draw 2-2
MD06: Fmjphoenix vs Squornshelous
MD07: Fmjphoenix @ Iansisle
MD08: --Bye--
MD09: Fmjphoenix vs Five Civilized Nations
MD10: Fmjphoenix @ Bryn Shander
MD11: Fmjphoenix vs Nifty Nick
MD12: Fmjphoenix vs The Belmore Family
MD13: Fmjphoenix @ Squornshelous
MD14: Fmjphoenix vs Iansisle
Record: 2-2-0

Jeruselem

27-02-2005, 11:10

Jeruselem Government News

Lykaia strike GOLD

Today in Group 1 of the World Cup XXI, Lykaia beat Jersuselem 4-1 to move to 2nd spot. Jeruselem, known to be a little shaky early, usually lose one of their first few games to lower ranked teams. It was Lykaia who did this and they not only won but won well. The scoreline was a shock to pundits but the result was not a shock to veterans who are used to Jeruselem's early shakes.

EL CID THE HERO beat rival One Red Dot 1-0 in the clash of the titans. This helped Jeruselem as El Cid has kept the dot 4th. Antaeus Rising finally rose to the challenge beating the easy-beat Danieljoh 3-1. Krazie had the bye.

The coach for Jeruselem, James Stuart said "This was not a good game, but you cannot win all your games. You have these shockers once on a while. We will be stronger for this as we learn from losing and apply it to winning".

Group 1
EL CID THE HERO - One Red Dot 1-0
Jeruselem - Lykaia 1-4
Antaeus Rising - Danieljoh 3-1

Group 1 P W D L GF-GAPts
EL CID THE HERO 4 4 0 0 10-1 12
Lykaia 4 2 1 1 9-6 7
Jeruselem 4 2 1 1 7-5 7
One Red Dot 4 2 1 1 5-4 7
Antaeus Rising 5 1 2 2 5-6 5
Krazie 4 1 1 2 5-11 4
Danieljoh 5 0 0 5 4-12 0

Sjwitz

27-02-2005, 12:17

From the latest edition of the Daily NewSjwitz:

Points Doubled, Confidence Returns

A whole new team was put on the pitch by coach Schmidt against Talzeckia. The odd but so far not too bad formation the team had been playing in was abandoned to a more 'normal' 343 and a lot of benchwarmers were on the field this time. People that thought this would weaken the team were wrong. The 343 formation proved to be quite a surprise to the Talzeckians who were expecting the ordinary 'reverse arrow' as they called it. Also, the new players all wanted to show what they were able to do since they finally got a chance to play. The fighting, winning spirit was very much present amongst the Sjwitz players and it took the Sjwitz squad only 13 minutes to score a goal, Hanz Peters cannonballed it in from close range after he got an assist from DiLuciano. Talzeckian Nick Reynolds had no chance there. The Talzeckians weren't giving up though and they managed to draw level after 28 minutes, or so they thought. Offside was called and Forsythe's goal was disallowed, after which the referee gave Wanadoo a yellow card for complaining. The Talzeckians kept trying however and after 39 minutes they did score. One of the forwards dribbled between Peeters and Reitsma and placed the ball neatly past Frank Blurr. After the break it was again Sjwitz who were creating chances and it didn't take them long to take the lead again, 52nd minute, Ünterberger heads it in on a corner. At that time it looked like Sjwitz was about to take over the match and take a decisive lead with both Peters and Stomp getting chances to score but it was Talzeckia who equalised again after 71 minutes. After that both teams started to play a bit more defensively and both were afraid to lose, the match bled to death.

Used formation against Talzeckia:

Blurr

Reitsma Peeters Svensson

DiLuciano Ünterberger Stomp Sjwitzer

Bingk Barosj Peters

Coach Schmidt: "Damn, why can't we play like this every match. Knowing we did good today, we're going for the victory against Gibberovia! I can just sence the first victory is just around the corner."

Sjwitz' Matches:

MD 1: Commerce Heights - Sjwitz 5-1
MD 2: Sjwitz - Eauz 0-1
MD 3: Slaikau - Sjwitz 1-1
MD 4: Sjwitz - The Eagle's Nest 1-3
MD 5: Talzeckia - Sjwitz 2-2
MD 6: Gibberovia - Sjwitz
MD 7: --- bye ---
MD 8: Sjwitz - Commerce Heights
MD 9: Eauz - Sjwitz
MD 10: Sjwitz - Slaikau
MD 11: The Eagle's Nest - Sjwitz
MD 12: Sjwitz - Talzeckia
MD 13: Sjwitz - Gibberovia
MD 14: --- bye ---

On MD 6 the other two matches in Group 9 will be:
Slaikau vs Eauz
The Eagles Nest vs Commerce Heights
Talzeckia gets a day off.

Standings:

Group 9 P W D L GF-GA Pts
1. The Eagles Nest 4 4 0 0 15-7 12
2. Eauz 4 4 0 0 9-2 12
3. Commerce Heights 4 2 1 1 9-4 7
4. Slaikau 4 2 1 1 9-7 7
5. Sjwitz 5 0 2 3 5-12 2
6. Talzeckia 5 0 1 4 7-14 1
7. Gibberovia 4 0 1 3 2-10 1

Giant Zucchini

27-02-2005, 15:06

Oshin keeps 4th Clean Sheet In Qualifying

Substitutes Seforo and Beter pounced in the second half to settle a dismal spectacle in Giant Zucchini's favour at The Giant Zucchini National Stadium while Oshin kept his 4th consecutive international clean sheet.

The Zucchinis' appalling record in World Cup Qualifying looked set to continue until Tolar brought on the strike duo.

Seforo fired a 78th-minute free-kick past the Gilgrado keeper and Beter guaranteed the three points with an injury-time strike as the visitors' defence crumbled late on.

Tolar had named both players on the bench after choosing to start with Perles and Yusebo and while his first choice forwards did little wrong, it was their replacements who provided the spark the match so desperately needed.

Selvas FC forward Yusebo impressed occasionally as his powerful frame provided the Zucchinis with a useful physical presence up front which caused Gilgrado's defence plenty of problems.

But his side's lack of creativity meant he was reduced to trying his luck from half chances while Gilgrado were guilty of failing to threaten their opponents' goal on one single occasion.

There was a bright opening, however, as the Zucchinis created an early half-chance when Madorna threaded a pass through to Sarnos but the Mato FC right-back was tackled while in the process of hitting his shot.

Yusebo dragged a weak shot wide of the right post after a slick counter from the home side and another promising move involving Perles and Gominsha was completed when Yusebo smashed the ball into the stands while trying his luck from an impossible angle.

Sarnos and Gominsha combined in the 14th minute but the latter's cross was cleared by the Gilgrado keeper for a corner which he then punched to safety after scrambling off his line.

Kryff sprinted down the right wing to collect a long pass played from the defence but he was unable to control the ball with Gilgrado in close attendance and a heartbeat later Madorna went desperately close with a header.

After a lethargic opening 20 minutes the Zucchinis were beginning to put Gilgrado's goal under sustained pressure, although the visitors' defence was proving hard to unlock.

Kryff forced a fine save from the Gilgrado keeper in the 28th minute after pulling the trigger with the outside of his boot from the edge of the area but the keeper palmed the ball - destined for the top left corner - to safety.

The Zucchinis continued to crank up the pressure with skipper Badenfauer heading wide from a corner, while in contrast there was very little happening at the other end.

Gilgrado enjoyed a brief flurry at the end of the first half trying to force their way through a packed defence in injury time but they was easily bundled off the ball.

Perles fired wide moments after the interval and Yusebo nodded off target for a goal kick, although the ball appeared to have struck a Gilgrado defender before slipping out of danger.

Mave headed over the crossbar from a corner as The Zucchinis' bright opening to the second half continued, giving Gilgrado's defence little chance to catch their breath.

In a bid to breathe some life into his side, the Gilgrado boss made a substitution in the 60th minute - a decision which did not sit well with the substituted striker who stormed down the tunnel.

But the move made little noticeable difference as the game once again deteriorated into a shocking spectacle with both sides losing possession with ease and displaying a chronic lack of invention.

Kryff squandered a glorious chance in the 73rd minute after being set up by Gominsha but he directed his header wide, although the effort took a deflection before bouncing out of play.

Seforo and Beter were brought on - Perles and Yusebo made way - and their appearance finally gave the Giant Zucchini fans something to cheer.

The Gilgrado skipper clattered into Kryff and Seforo steered the resulting 25-yard free-kick into the net with an indecisive Gilgrado keeper rooted to the spot.

Seforo and Beter combined but the Anagon United player was guilty of a glaring miss as he failed to place the ball into what was virtually an empty net.

But Beter made amends in injury time by picking up a long ball from Sharleston, shaking off a tackle and rounding the keeper before steering home to seal the result.

Final score:

Giant Zucchini - 2
Seforo (78), Beter (90)

Gilgrado - 0

Man of the Match: Seforo

Rejistania

27-02-2005, 16:37

Scoreless, absolutly scoreless

The Orange-Blues played a perfect Sistenha Karela against Svecia. The lightning had no chance to score against the Rejistania defense (or team, it was the same in that match). The problem was that the chances to score are not really present if you do not leave your half. The fans of System Karela liked the way the Orange-Blues destroyed any chance of the svecians, the other fans, especially those from Svecia, booed. Siki Rej could not understand the problems they had with the tactics. "We did not concede a goal against our highest ranked opponent. I think that is most important in top games - and Hexatux does too." Hetaki fans from all over Rejistania feared the worst. A rejistani who called himself a fan of Hades Lavamje said: "I cannot believe that the Karelatux is again in action. This tactic was a disgrace for every one, who thinks 12 draws are not enough! The Orange-Blues are third now - On goals FOR, not against!!"

The result:
Rejistania 0
Svecia 0

Starblaydia

27-02-2005, 19:18

Take That!
Starblaydia Party as they Chase Group-Toppers... Hiiraan?

"Belizaire! Delgado! Tumunzahar!"

Three names for the future, all of whom under 25, who bagged lovely goals for Starblaydia as they demolished the Flapping Farmers of Melmond. Fresh from a rest-match after thrashing a poor Rittarstan team, Starblaydia inflicted a crushing defeat on Melmond, who never really looked like getting into the match.

In the centre of the park, Jerome Montefalcon proved why he was named Melmond's Midfielder of the Year a while back as he almost single-handedly broke up anything Melmond tried through the centre. With ferocious tackles, challenges and a lovely vision and positional sense he dominated the match from start to finish.

For all Starblaydia's domination, it took them a while to effect counter-attack the Farmers' defence, although once Raphael Delgado had sent Belizaire clean-through out wide, it didn't take a psychic to realise young Darius was going to fire it through the keeper's legs and give Starblaydia a well-deserved lead after around half an hour.

The second goal came from a lovely piece of play by Nick Matranga as he was left with acres of space on the right-hand side after a good interception by Montefalcon. Matranga crossed and Delgado met the header at the edge of the penalty-area, powerfully driving the ball into the top-corner of the net. Two-Nil up and Starblaydia were beginning to look like they might run away with it.

Some quick substitutions by the Farmers' Manager broke up Starblaydia's rythmn, however, but it wasn't long before the introduction of Zhorin Tumunzahar shook things up once more, as he usually does, blasting a third and final goal from inside the penalty area, past the hand of the despairing Melmondian 'keeper. This win puts Starblaydia back up towards where they belong, as they chase Hiiraan, of all teams, for the top spot, which they hold by virtue of having scored a single goal more than Starblaydia, though both have +8 goal differences.

Obsessed Muse Groupies

27-02-2005, 19:23

The Overdue Times
We get the news later than anyone else in Showbiz province!

Obsessed Muse Groupies Draw Group 12

It doesn't matter where I have gone. I just can't afford to pay for all the mistakes that you have made. It's about time I was paid. These are probably the thoughts going through the Musevangelists of Obsessed Muse Groupies after they were denied a chance to hone their skill against other international newcomers in the Baptism of Fire tournament. Where other teams who have improved their rank and gotten valuable experience will have easier draws, Obsessed Muse Groupies is faced with a task that I dare say can very well end up being an execution commentary. Anyway here are the teams in this top heavy group.

Total n Utter Insanity is the most experience and talented side. The definite muscle museum in this group.

Another team that should be feeling good is Druida, as they are leaps and bounds ahead of the next team closest to them..

Oddslavo whose time is running out in terms of a chance to make anything of themselves in international play.

Finrods is a team which seems eternally in a coma, and certainly will not be eternally missed when they bow out of international competition.

Ratvipa seems to be competing at the minimum and shouldn't make such a hullabaloo here.

Naglegrad is another new one. They have looked promising and may turn some heads.

Prediction
1. Druida
2. Total n Utter Insanity
3. Oddslavo
4. Obsessed Muse Groupies
5. Naglegrad
6. Finrods
7. Ratvipa

Obsessed Muse Groupies Schedule
@ Oddslavo
v Druida (Hold Your Stage, Citizen Erased)
@ Total n Utter Insanity
v Finrods (An Unburied Stadium, Time Is Running Out)
BYE
v Naglegrad (An Unabandoned Stadium, Stockholm Syndrome)
@ Ratvipa
v Oddslavo (Escaped World, Muscle Museum)
@ Druida
v Total n Utter Insanity (Unpaid Priests Arena, The Small Print)
@ Finrods
BYE
@ Naglegrad
v Ratvipa (A Hopeless Pitch to Roam, New Born)

Next Game
@ Oddslavo

We may be the Overdue times, but we aren't that late. The Musevangelists will lose 4-nil away from home. Here is their starting lineup.

GK- Mrs. Beth Bellamy
D- Mrs. Vicki Wolstenholme
D- Mrs. Cammy Howard
D- Mr. Doug Bellamy
D- Mrs. Sarah Wolstenholme
M- Mrs. Sophie Howard
M- Mrs. Marissa Buckley
M- Mrs. Tanya Wolstenholme
M- Mrs. Paula Howard
F- Mrs. Mip-Mop-Mip-Moop Bellamy
F- Mrs. Jaymes Wolstenholme

Oddslavo is obviously and odd place with slaves. Don't know much other than that.

Eauz

27-02-2005, 21:11

Chock one up for the Commies!

Les Bleus were ready for their match against Commerce Heights, after having a few weeks off. A few of the fans from the corporate country were in Eauz, to support their team, and many of them had signs which mocked Les Bleus and their 0 – 0 – 3 record against CH. Les Bleus though were coming into this match, feeling much stronger, and prepared for the match. Commerce Heights fans were also trying to convince throughout the match that their country should change to capitalism, but many of them argued and made amazing arguments to stay with communism, which frustrated the capitalizts, just like in real life.

The Politics continued on the field, as a few people said they saw a Commerce Heights trying to bribe the referee’s. This is yet another form, which capitalizt try to turn a country from a socially progressive, to a Pro-Capitalizt country. Nonetheless, the match finally got going, but it didn’t look good, early for Les Bleus, as during the 9th minute of play, a Commerce Heights mid-fielder, broke through the Eauz defence, and let go of a shot, which hit off the top bar. It bounced back into play, where another mid-fielder picked it up, and sent it to the back of the net. Bedeau had no chance, as all he could do was watch from the ground, when he dived for it. Eauz fans became worried that the capitalizt curse would continue. During the 20th minute of play, Vasser was brining the ball up, and then tripped himself up, losing the ball to the opponent. Vasser laid on the field for a few minutes, but got up, looking fine. Les Bleus were not catching much of a break. During the 37th minute of play though, as Les Bleus were in the CH zone, and Rousseau was brought down by an strong attack. The referee rewarded Les Bleus a free kick outside the penalty zone. The wall was built, and Alia was ready to take the kick. Alia kicked it, but it hit part of the wall, and bounced back. Just before recess, CH was on the attack. A pass towards the centre of the net, found its way to a mid-fielder, who saw the open top shelf, and stuffed it in, putting CH up 2 – 0. This was the half-time score, as CH appeared to be ready to add another victory to the table against Les Bleus.

The Second half arrived, and Eauz fans were becming frustrated with the performance of Les Bleus, as one could see toilet paper all over the field. Joseuf had talked to his team, and tried to get them prepared for the second half. He couldn’t believe though that his team fell apart so quickly in the first half. Les Bleus had a change 3 minutes into the second half, as Lacavailler sent a shot from close distance, but the CH keeper blocked it, as he had been like a spider, catching everything up to this point. Though, during the 60th minute of play, Vasser let go of a rocket from long distance, which sailed over the reaching CH keeper, and into the net, putting Les Bleus on the board. After 72 minutes of play Alia equalised for Eauz after an elegant attack from the right, just nudging it in the crack. Les Bleus had tied the match, and seen the CH team completely implode in the second half. Ending, the match became tighter, as both squads were looking to prevent anything from the other one. The referee, quite possibly due to the bribing, missed a few possible calls, but nonetheless, they didn’t lead to much. Though, during extra time, Les Bleus were hoping to get payback to what CH had done to them in the first half. A brilliant attack, down the left side of the field by Theodoric, which he sent a pass towards the net, where Vasser, headed it in, putting Les Bleus up 3 – 2. Eauz fans were ecstatic, as they saw for the first time, a possible victory against CH. Oddly enough though, the referee had extended the match to 8 minutes of extra play, to the disagreement of Eauz fans and Joseuf. Despite the long extra time, Les Bleus went on to their first victory against CH ever in the history between these two teams.

Group 9 P W D L GF-GA Pts
1. The Eagles Nest 4 4 0 0 15-7 12
2. Eauz 4 4 0 0 9-2 12
3. Commerce Heights 4 2 1 1 9-4 7
4. Slaikau 4 2 1 1 9-7 7
5. Sjwitz 5 0 2 3 5-12 2
6. Talzeckia 5 0 1 4 7-14 1
7. Gibberovia 4 0 1 3 2-10 1

Match Day 1: Eauz vs. Talzeckia W 1 - 0
Match Day 2: Sjwitz vs. Eauz W 0 - 1
Match Day 3: Eauz vs. Gibberovia W 4 - 0
Match Day 4: Bye Period
Match Day 5: Eauz vs. Commerce Heights W 3 - 2
Match Day 6: Slaikau vs. Eauz
Match Day 7: Eauz vs. The Eagles Nest

Match Day 8: Talzeckia vs. Eauz
Match Day 9: Eauz vs. Sjwitz
Match Day 10: Gibberovia vs. Eauz
Match Day 11: Bye Period
Match Day 12: Commerce Heights vs. Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz vs. Slaikau
Match Day 14:The Eagles Nest vs. Eauz

Cockbill Street

27-02-2005, 21:20

Matchday 5 is over, matchday 6 scores will be up soon.

Melmond

27-02-2005, 21:31

Smacking of Cheekiness
Blaydes Use The Evil Umpiresque Tactics to Destroy Fearless Farmers
By Dita Dutch of the Acosta Chronicle

STARBLAYDIA—Just as this article was gone about to print, the Starblaydi account of the debacle which was the Starblaydia-Melmond matchup was posted for the world to see. Let me say that their version is a literally sanitized version of what really went on in this match. Do you really think that the Fearless Farmers would lose to Starblaydia, as good of a team as they are, 3-nil, without some embarrassing soul destroying moments, this Starblaydia team which lost to lowly Allanea! Of course not! The Starblaydi press only hinted at the carnage which went on in the stadium with the seemingly innocent headline of “Take That!”
“Take That!” is a common expression used when someone is doing a counterattack of some sort, as the Blaydes probably felt they were doing after trying to prove themselves after the embarrassing loss to Allanea. However, as many music aficionados know, “Take That” is also the name of a famed boy band on Earth, from their nation of Great Britain. As we all know so well, a tactic used by such dark-hearted nation as The Evil Umpire was to play the crappiest music over the PA. Starblaydia had a special theme night in order to bring back those horrible memories, a special “Tribute to Take That and Robbie Williams” night. They focused on the song “Back for Good” and Robbie Williams’ solo career because that is what most Melmondians know of their career since the Melmondian goddess herself is an earthly American.
The match started out rather comically, with the referee falling flat on his face, not once, but twice. The first time was innocent enough; he had tripped over his shoelaces. He picked himself up sporting quite the shiner on his right eye. Despite his fellow officials and some players wanting him to retire for the match with his injury, the resilient referee decided to continue refereeing the match. However, his face would look a lot more symmetrical after while running backwards to catch up with the play, he trips over the foot of Melmond midfielder and captain Jake Cormier. They both fall to the pitch, Cormier able to break his fall with his butt and hand, and the referee falling flat on his face again. Cormier was okay, but the referee got himself another swollen eye. He could hardly see, but he still insisted that he had everything under control. The welts above his eyes were a purple, a Starblaydi purple, a good omen for the Blaydes.
Starblaydi midfielder Jerome Montefalcon, a very good midfielder in his own right, dominated the middle of the pitch; however he did take some liberties in his attacks and tackles which may have been carded if the referee could actually see straight. With ferocious tackles, challenges and a lovely vision that the referee certainly didn’t have and positional sense he dominated the match from start to finish. Chalk that up to taking advantage of the situation. The chants of the chorus of “Back for Good” got increasingly louder, frenzied, and amazingly even more on key considering the thousands of people chanting it. It started really to break the concentration of the Fearless Farmers defence and especially the goalkeeper Alex McCarthy, who is use to the dance-rock sounds of Melmondian bands such as Clavius (named after one of Melmond’s first leaders, murdered after vampire rumours) rather than the pop-schlock of Take That. The Starblaydis made a clever play splicing the Fearless Farmers defence where Starblaydia midfielder Raphael Delgado found striker Darius Belizare. Belizare was in position to score a goal, but it wasn’t a shot in which McCarthy wouldn’t be expected to stop. However, with the Back For Good chorus in the background, McCarthy was clearly off his rhythm as Belizare easily kicked the ball in between McCarthy’s legs to put Starblaydia up 1-nil at the 31st minute. They would take that lead to half time.
At the second half, the Starblaydis transitioned from Take That to Robbie Williams’ solo career. Their next attempt to focus on the song “Millennium,” especially the looping violin sample the Starblaydi fans replicated with a high pitched “la-lala-la-LA-la” which was supremely annoying. The Melmondians just made rash mistakes at each opportunity trying to fight through the background noise. One major mistake cost Melmond another goal as Melmond midfielder Bob Fillyfoo, feeling he had a wide open pass to fellow midfielder Pauline Hulme, didn’t see a charging Starblaydia midfielder Jerome Montefalcon stepping up to intercept the pass and getting plenty of room to fellow midfielder Nick Matranga. He used his room to make a skillful cross to Raphael Delgado who made a solid header past Melmond goalkeeper Alex McCarthy to put Starblaydia up 2-nil at the 62nd minute. After that goal, in celebration, a Starblaydi fan did the most disgusting thing. In a Robbie Williams costume, he mimicked Robbie Williams’ dance moves in the video “Rock DJ,” stripped to his fake naked self, and then ripped off his costume skin and throwing fake guts and muscles at some of the Melmondian players until he revealed himself as a guy wearing a skeleton costume where he just danced the whirling dervish. At least security had eyes on him and escorted him out of the stadium, but the Fearless Farmers spirit was already broken.
However, despite such disgusting displays of celebrating the less than stellar talent of Take That and its cheeky and more sarcastic offspring Robbie Williams, the Starblaydi fans continued to sing while they were winning. They were put off-rhythm for a short while as Manager David Bixler made some substitutions to put in some more veteran and physical players to replace some of the struggling players. Defender Greg Gurewitz came in for Laola Saenu, midfielder Belle Bete came in for Bob Fillyfoo, and striker Jamie Prior came in for Debora Unne. Gurewitz and Bete played rather well, but the Melmondian striking force couldn’t by themselves a goal due to the great defensive play by Starblaydia and the strong goalkeeping of Markus Cragg. Starblaydia regrouped its attack when they brought in future superstar striker Zhorin Tumunzahar, only on the bench due to the amazing depth the Starblaydis have at that position. A great string of passes by the Starblaydi side along with a missed off-side call gave Tumunzahar and clear shot to blast a goal past Melmond’s mentally-battered goalkeeper Alex McCarthy to give Starblaydia the 3-nil lead at the 75th minute.
The Starblaydis went from singing to swinging while they were winning, with some of the fans enjoying Martinis not only in homage of Robbie’s homage to the rat pack, but also in a mock to the Melmondian capitalist, who really enjoys their martinis. The scoreboard may have said 3-nil, but psychologically it could have been something comparable to Rejistania-Ravea. Manager David Bixler, already on the hot seat already, really has a chance to prove himself to be a worthy manager to bring these Fearless Farmers back around for the next match against Hiiraan.

Goals
Belizare, STB 31st
Delgado, STB 62nd
Tumunzahar, STB 75th

Cards
None

Standings

Other Group 6 Results
Hiiraan 6 – Nonesuch Street 0
Chicanada 2 – Allanea 1

Group 6
GP Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Hiiraan 4 9 3 0 1 11:3 8
2. Starblaydia 4 9 3 0 1 10:2 8
3. Melmond 4 7 2 1 1 10:5 5
4. Chicanada 5 7 2 1 2 9:9 0
5. Nonesuch Street 4 7 2 1 1 6:9 -3
6. Allanea 5 3 1 0 4 2:9 -7
7. Rittarstan 4 1 0 1 3 2:13 -11

Team Stats
Goals: Gene MacDougall (3), Debora Unne (2), Martin Goodwin Jr. (1), Jamie Prior (1), Pauline Hulme (1), Lave Serna (1), Jake Cormier (1)
Cards: None

Melmond National Team Schedule

v Allanea (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne) W 4-0
@ Rittarstan W 4-0
BYE
@ Chicanada T 2-2
@ Starblaydia L 3-0
@ Hiiraan
v Nonesuch Street (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
@ Allanea
v Rittarstan (Makinshakes Stadium, O’Connor)
BYE
v Chicanada (Anachronism Park, Cali)
v Starblaydia (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
v Hiiraan (Microcosm Football Colossuseum, Aldi)
@ Nonesuch Street

Next Match
@ Hiiraan

Talk about how things just seem to go around, this is match the Fearless Farmers need to win to prove that they are “Back For Good.” Melmond has been on a slide ever since entering the toughest part of their schedule, three road matches against their main competitors for a qualifying position. Two disappointing matches, a tie against Chicanada and a bad loss to Starblaydia has put the Fearless Farmers in quite a predicament. Next is surprise group leader Hiiraan, who is flying high after a 6-nil thrashing of Nonesuch Street, a team Melmond fell to four years ago. Manager David Bixler wants to go back to playing his style of football, so you may not necessarily see the best players in the Melmond starting lineup, but those who fit his successful system the best. The stronger veteran Greg Gurewitz replaces Laola Saenu on that backline and the more experienced and tenacious Belle Bete replaces offensive sparkplug Bob Fillyfoo in the midfield.

GK- Alex McCarthy
D- Notint Hecloset
D- Maxwell Wong
D- Charles Unne
D- Greg Gurewitz
M- Belle Bete
M- Martin Goodwin Jr.
M- Pauline Hulme
M- Jake Cormier
F- Gene MacDougall
F- Debora Unne

For tickets to Hiiraan, all the Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. The former Somalialand doesn’t really have much to offer in terms of attractions and has a populace which is known for not being very diplomatic, but all in all, they are good hearted people who make great food! Plenty of tickets available.

Gaian Ascendancy

27-02-2005, 23:34

~ Seraphim finish first match week on high note ~

Group 10
Oaker - Lovisa 1-2
Big Pimento - Vilita 2-2
Evalness - Gaian Ascendancy 0-2

Group 10 P W D L GF-GAPts
Lovisa 5 4 1 0 15-5 13
Vilita 5 3 2 0 15-6 11
Big Pimento 5 2 3 0 9-6 9
Gaian Ascendancy 6 2 1 3 6-7 7
Oaker 5 2 0 3 6-8 6
Liamist States 5 1 1 3 9-14 4
Evalness 5 0 0 5 1-15 0

Goals: (Sean Masaki - 16th, Ian Andersen - 40th)

GANN Sports Desk: ~ After experiencing their last loss against Liamist States, there was 'no' margin for error as they faced Evalness, the worst team in the Cup, and smelled blood from the moment they entered Evalness Stadium.
The first half saw the Gaian crowd throw their passion in the midst of the semi-filled stadium. Apparently the Evalness supporters were few and far inbetween the much more supportive Gaian block. They also had much to celebrate the first half, as the match was decided even before the 40th minute.
The match started the with Gaians taking dominating control of the ball. They swiftly stung at the Evalness Centers and constantly maneuvered the ball around them, making Evalness react to everything the Gaians threw at them. The inital 3-4-3 shifted quickly, becoming a controlling 2-5-3, as the patented wear down offense attacked the Evalness at ever opritunity.
Evalness unfortunately demonstrated a lack of desire in playing the match, as one of the Seraphim's attacks by Striker N'Buta Kerensky, as he passed it to Ian Andersen on the far side, caused a Evalness Defender to slip and then stand with even less passion than before.
This led to a around the arc passing scheme that started at the 15th minute, as Ian Andersen started a passing run that arced through the Gaian Midfield, and shifted the whole Evalness defense out of position, as Sean Masaki slipped in. Midfielder Eros Maine saw this and alertly hard kicked it through the box and right at a in position Masaki, as he slid kicked it past a slow Evalness Keeper at the 16th minute, causing the crowd to erupt, and the Seraphim to celebrate with gusto.
The next face off, saw a bare attempt by Evalness to push the ball, but the Gaian Defender Corps flat out outplayed the ball away, as Defender Xan Tsgen took the ball and setup the next Gaian 2-5-3 attack scheme. It even became a 1-5-4 for a few moments at times, as Evalness was totally outclassed.
This continued right up to the 40th minute, as Gaian Midfielder, and forming Playmaker Pryde Tamara intercepted an errant ball pass between the Evalness Midfielders and shot it hard to the outer line, where a high pass to Ian Andersen led to a hard header at the Evalness Keeper, knocking it through his hands into the goal. The 2- 0 lead became insurmountable, and the Seraphim supporters 'knew' it.

For the second half, it became a series of Evalness reactions to everything the Gaians threw at them. It also became a chance to bring in the Gaian second stringers for much of the second half, allowing the starters to rest. Even up to the 65th minute, Keeper Howe was replaced by backup #02 Bryant McThige from Ithillii Goddessa.
By the 65th minute in fact, no Gaian starters were playing, as Evalness couldn't even get the ball through 'them'. The remainder of the game was almost a practice match to the Gaians, as Evalness couldn't find the fire to come back from two down. The Evalness crowd by this point was down to either faimily members, or hardcore fans. It seemed the Gaian crowd outmatched them by 3:1 in ration by this point. The end game whistle came as a relief for Evalness, as it couldn't finish the game quickly enough.
As for the Seraphim, week one ends with a 2-1-3 record, being bested by Liamist, Vitilia and Lovisa, but holding it's own against Pimento, and besting Oaker and now Evalness. They stand after all this in fourth place overall, with a serious chance at the third place slot and therefore it's first playoff opritunity.

However the oppritunity is 'far' from certain, first they have to somehow better it's performance against the three teams that beat them, as well as match at least the same against Oaker and Pimento. Nothing is certain for anyone just yet, and the second week looks to be a major furball for positioning. Even so, Gaian spirits remain high. All their losses have been managable, and no game has been a rout. The Gaian defense has proved itself enough, and being bloodied only adds to their hunger.
At the conference earlier today after their dominating win, Coach Kerensky had this to say..

*Excerpts* (Coach Kerensky alone)

Kerensky: "I decided to let my team get a good rest after the match. No questions for them, as I wanted them to take a break from it all.

Spirits are very high, and experience is growing. As for Evalness today, we tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, but we had to take it to them after our loss to Liamist. As a result of their performance though, I have to say that we met our first truly bad team, and if they don't do something, look to lose even more respect.

As for us, we feel even more ready that before. We, admittedly are ready for a break. We're pooped out the can point. Two major plaers, a rival and two other great teams means a lot has been taken out of everyone so far. But we don't have the advantage just yet of the stamina that these other teams have, save possibly Liamist, and we haven't beaten 'them' yet.

As for tomorrow, I intend to spend it with my love, and just forget about football for a few hours. But do kid, we will be ready for Lovisa when we come back. For one, it's on 'our' ground this time, and more, we've seen them play now. Don't be suprised it we bring a few tricks at them.

To the World Cup though, we thank them for the oppritunity so far given, and more to come. And if we manage to make it to Third place trials, we will be ready there too."

--

The Gaians have much to be thankful for, despite a less than stellar week, as what other teams would compare. However the team is on the learning curve, and still has much to look forward to for their second week.

More, with the second team players getting some play time, experience now has some depth as well, which can say alot before the end.

Svecia

27-02-2005, 23:48

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

REJISTANIA HOLDS OFF SVECIA
Impressive Lighting offense held to just 7 shots

Rejistania 0-0 Svecia

- This was one of the most anticipated meetings of the qualifying matchday. The question was how would the Rejistani defense, which has yet to give up a qualifying goal, hold up against the attack-heavy Svecians, who had scored 12 already coming into the game? The answer was a goalless draw.

The Svecikan combination of Fabian Mertesacker and Joël Simão up front, supported by five talented midfielders has produced a very exciting attack show for the fans in their qualifying games so far. The Lightning were averaging 27 shots a game going into the Rejistania match.

And new goalkeeper, Mattias Prika had only let in one goal, that coming on a penalty kick against Pterodactyl. But the Rejistania match was a bore for him, with only 4 Rejistania shots and only 1 on goal. But on the other side of the field, it didnt get much better. The Lightning possession attack was shut down by narrow passing lanes and tough challenges, leading to only 7 Svecikan shots, 3 on the target.

Svecia followed their Rejistani draw by knocking down Wella in their next match, 4-1, bringing an aerial show, with goals from Mertesacker, Tomas Kristiansand, and Niclas Helveg off of headers. The fouth was a sweetly struck volley from Druijf de Vlieger.

Sjwitz

28-02-2005, 00:02

From the latest edition of the Daily NewSjwitz:

Another Opportunity Wasted

After the unexpected draw away to Talzeckia, most Sjwitz supporters were hoping for their team to pick up their first victory in this tournament. Coach Schmidt used the exact lineup as the match against Talzeckia so the prospects and confidence were there. Unfortunately, the Sjwitz players performed terribly and managed to lose 2-0 to the lowest ranked team in the group, a team that had so far not won a match and had only scored 2 goals in 4 matches. Coach Schmidt has been reassured that his position as coach is safe, after the qualifying tournament is over there will be a meeting with him and the minister of sport. For now however, he is asked to try different formations and combinations of players and try to get Sjwitz 10 points or more. A very difficult task, knowing that Sjwitz has so far only won 2 points halfway through the tournament.

Sjwitz' Matches:

MD 1: Commerce Heights - Sjwitz 5-1
MD 2: Sjwitz - Eauz 0-1
MD 3: Slaikau - Sjwitz 1-1
MD 4: Sjwitz - The Eagle's Nest 1-3
MD 5: Talzeckia - Sjwitz 2-2
MD 6: Gibberovia - Sjwitz 2-0
MD 7: --- bye ---
MD 8: Sjwitz - Commerce Heights
MD 9: Eauz - Sjwitz
MD 10: Sjwitz - Slaikau
MD 11: The Eagle's Nest - Sjwitz
MD 12: Sjwitz - Talzeckia
MD 13: Sjwitz - Gibberovia
MD 14: --- bye ---

On MD 7 the matches in Group 9 will be:
Eauz vs The Eagles Nest
Commerce Heights vs Slaikau
Talzeckia vs Gibberovia
Sjwitz gets a day off.

Standings:

Group 9 P W D L GF-GA Pts
1. The Eagles Nest 5 5 0 0 17-7 15
2. Eauz 5 5 0 0 11-3 15
3. Commerce Heights 5 2 1 2 9-6 7
4. Slaikau 5 2 1 2 10-9 7
5. Gibberovia 5 1 1 3 4-10 4
6. Sjwitz 6 0 2 4 5-14 2
7. Talzeckia 5 0 1 4 7-14 1

Chicanada

28-02-2005, 01:03

InterCanton Press

Day off prep for the Kodiaks

Chicanada [-] [-] Rittarstan

Paradiso, Cerealian Canton:

Chicanada arrived in Paradiso today to begin preparation for their match against a Rittarstan team riding a one game winning streak tommorow at the Ministry Fieldhouse.

Surprisingly, the team decided to not hold a press conference after their light practice today, as the team headed back to Cana for final prep before the match. It is expected that the team will hold a press conference at TroutCo Field after their matchup tommorow as they prep for their second match against Starblaydia.

The Kodiaks hosts Rittarstan at the 35,000 seat Ministry Fieldhouse in Paradiso. This will be the last match of the first half of qualifying. The match is scheduled for 3000 CST and will be carried live by CanaTV. Most football pitches will be open after CFF play to show the game live.

Group 6 P W D L GF-GA Pts
Starblaydia 5 4 0 1 14-3 12
Hiiraan 5 3 1 1 12-4 10
Melmond 5 2 2 1 11-6 8
Chicanada 5 2 1 2 9-9 7
Nonesuch Street 5 2 1 2 7-13 7
Rittarstan 5 1 1 3 4-13 4
Allanea 6 1 0 5 2-11 3

The official schedule for Chicanada Qualifying
(Venues listed if known)

MD01 @ Starblaydia (L 1-2)
MD02 v Nonesuch Street (L 2-3)
MD03 @ Hiiraan (W 2-1)
MD04 v Melmond (T 2-2)
MD05 v Allanea (W 2-1)
MD06 -
MD07 v Rittarstan (Ministry Fieldhouse, Paradiso)
MD08 v Starblaydia (TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD09 @ Nonesuch Street (Relatively Large Arena, Time Dilation City, Nonesuch St.)
MD10 v Hiiraan (Easten National Arena, Eastentown)
MD11 @ Melmond (Anachronism Park, Cali, Melmond)
MD12 @ Allanea
MD13 -
MD14 @ Rittarstan

Sarzonia

28-02-2005, 01:20

Draws leave Stars fit to be tied

In the first three matches of World Cup XXI qualifying, the Sarzonian national team's defense has looked stout and goalkeeper Horace Sandt has played well enough with two clean sheets in three matches to help supporters all but forget about retired goalkeeper Troy Perkins. But a 3-3 draw home to Legalese and a 2-2 draw home to The Lowland Clans has the Stars in a position they would prefer not to be in.

"We've played shaky defensively the last two matches, there's no other way to put it," Coach Dave Wilson said. "Sure there were some shots I'd have liked Horace to have done better with, but he's not entirely at fault here. We have to play better defensively, especially now that we've got a huge match against Crystilakere coming up."

The Stars (3-2-0, 11 points) sit in second place behind the Crystils, who are unbeaten at 5-0-0 and look to be closing in on clinching a World Cup berth. Sarzonia is still fighting to earn one of the two automatic berths in the World Cup finals, but they are saying that their focus is on the match against their southern neighbors.

"They're a very good team and we have the last World Cup match still fresh in our minds," midfielder Darwin Russell said. The Stars lost 4-1 to the Crystils in the second match of the group stage of World Cup XIX, a loss that all but eliminated the Stars from the World Cup finals. The Stars are hoping for any edge they can get, including using revenge as a motivator, but they also say the here and now is more important.

"We can use that match as fire, sure," forward and team captain Brian Wilson said, "but we also have to think about what's going on now. Right now, we need to make sure we qualify for the World Cup finals and the Crystils are standing in the way of that. That's all we should really need."

Total n Utter Insanity

28-02-2005, 01:43

Apathy at all time high

Ask the average Insanician on the street and they wouldn't know/care that World Cup Qualifying was going on. Hell even I don't care. If you want to know how they are doing switch over the vixen sport net.

Vilita

28-02-2005, 01:48

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif
Vilita 3-3 Lovisa
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
Vilita Goalscorers::
46' Callum Banda
58' Santo Kecker
74' Riccardo Appolloni

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

-------------------

Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Jaloey Afrikka
Worst Player: Inaki Soler
Shots on Target: 11
Corner Kicks: 14

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif
Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [D] Sibusiso Azaïez, [D] Andrea Lamberti, [DMC] Jürgen Ramzi, [ML] Antonis Siazzu, [MC] Maurizio Sala, [MC] Santo Kecker, [MR] Inaki Soler, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni, [FC] Callum Banda,
BENCH::
[FC] Serge DuPont, [FC] Tika Massa, [M] Teariki Mané, [M] Jacques Vintila, [U] Sublé Tonic, [D] Ricky Ezis, [GK] Delain Falcón,

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Maurizio Sala >>> Tika Massa

Squornshelous

28-02-2005, 06:39

Pschychoes too much for Vikings

A win over Fmjphoenix keeps the Pschychoes ahead
Squornshelous retained their lead in group 5 thanks to a 3-1 defeat of Fmjphoenix. Although the defense suffered a letdown in allowing its first goal of the tournament, the attack finally found itsself and notched over two goals for the first time.
Scoring started early for the Pschychoes, when Jako Arnesson found his path blocked near midfield by Devin McBall and Jason Mitchell. He turned to shield the ball, and passed it outside to a wide open Scott Neese. Neese dribbled down the line, and then faked out Tra Miranda to open up a passing ane inside to Popov. Popov found an open path to the top corner and made it 1-0 in the 23rd minute. It took only 13 more minutes for the Pschychoes to put in what would eventually be the game winner. A long, low ball from Sven Erikson sailed past the Vikings' offside trap and Trevor Gerrard beat everyone to the ball. He dribbled into the box on a clean breakaway and put the ball into the net so fast all Powel Lamar could do was watch.
in the second half, the Vikings came out fighting, they saw a chance to move into an even better position in their group and caught the Pschychoes off guard. In the 50th minute, Jason Mitchel sent a clearance back into the attacking zone and Jorge Mendell trapped it. He quickly passed the ball to Esteban Zeus, who passed to Mike Nolan. Nolan made a quick turn to beat a sliding challenge by Peter Orlov and put the ball away. However, Squornshelous was not knocked onto their heels. Just four minutes later, they scored an a corner kick. Instead of sending the ball into the penalty area, Neese passed it back down the line to Gregori Petchukov, who had come forward just for this play. Petchukov then crossed the ball over the box to Yanni Zikov, who had remained at the backdoor position while the defense went after the ball. The Vikings forgot about him for one crucial moment and that was all it took to crush their momentum swing.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 3-1 Fmjphoenix

Scoring Summary:
SQ: Popov [23]
SQ: Gerrard [36]
FMJ: Nolan [50]
SQ: Zikov [54]

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Gerrard: 3
Popov: 2
Zikov: 2
Arnesson: 1

Group 5 Standings after matchday 6:

Group 5 P W D L GF-GAPts
Squornshelous 5 4 1 0 8-1 13
Iansisle 5 3 2 0 8-1 11
Fmjphoenix 5 2 2 1 10-8 8
Bryn Shander 6 2 0 4 6-7 6
Five Civilized Nations 5 1 2 2 7-7 5
The Belmore Family 5 1 2 2 5-9 5
Nifty nick 5 0 1 4 1-12 1

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins draws losses byes

MD01: Squornshelous 2-0 Five Civilized Nations
MD02: Bryn Shander 0-1 Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous 2-0 Nifty nick
MD04: Bye
MD05: Squornshelous 0-0 Iansisle
MD06: Fmjphoenix v Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous v The Belmore Family
MD08: Five Civilized Nations v Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous v Bryn Shander
MD10: Nifty nick v Squornshelous
MD11: Bye
MD12: Iansisle v Squornshelous
MD13: Squornshelous v Fmjphoenix
MD14: The Belmore Family v Squornshelous [/QUOTE]

Praying2God

28-02-2005, 07:05

WARRIORS DON'T HAVE ENOUGH FIREPOWER IN BATTLE WITH TADJIKISTAN

The Praying2God Warriors put up a great effort against Tadjikistan, but came up just short, losing by a final score of 3-4. The match was the biggest offense slugfest the Warriors have been involved in, as it matched the highest single-game goals total by the Warriors set against Seton Rebel earlier in qualifying. The Warriors fell behind early 1-3, but rallied to tie the match at 3-3 before the defense faltered and let in what proved to be the deciding goal. Scoring for the Warriors on the day was: Kelly Carter in the 36th minute on a cross from Thomas Larson, Kevin Faith in the 65th minute off a pass from his girlfriend, Christa Nelson, and Thomas Larson in the 78th minute on a cross from Kelly Carter. Tadjikistan, spoiled the momentum that the Warriors had built by scoring in the 87th minute. Sarah Walker has had a disappointing WC in net for the Warriors, only having recorded one shutout so far.

Praying2God

28-02-2005, 07:23

John Carlson (JC): Welcome to the House of Prayer where the Warriors are ready to take on undefeated group leaders, Turori. The Warriors come into this match as heavy underdogs having struggled so far in qualifying. Can the Warriors get it the ship righted and make a run at qualifying?

David Tall (DT): Definitely. It certainly won't be easy, though. They still have all four meetings against the teams predicted to finish first and second in the group, Turori and Adam Island. In addition, they will need to take care of business against the bottom three teams in the group, GZ, Seton Rebel, and Gilgrado. Two draws and a win isn't going to cut it.

Lisa Simonson (LS): It's highly unlikely. They have too many things to fix to qualify. They'll likely finish fourth or fifth in the group.

JC: Both teams are on the pitch, and we're ready for the opening kick-off...

**whistle blows**

The referee blows his whistle and we are underway...

**9th minute**

JC: Turori has dominated play early on...they're in the Warriors' box...there's a cross...it finds the head of a Turorian striker...and all of a sudden, it's 1-0 Turori.

LS: That's bad news for the Warriors, John. You can't afford to fall behind this early against a team as good as Turori.

DT: The Warriors don't seem to be having the same sort of luck that they were having in the first half of WC XX qualifying.

**38th minute**

JC: Turori continues to dominate this match. They are outshooting the Warriors 7-1 at the moment, and are in possession of the ball just outside of the Warriors' box...the cross into the box...a Turorian striker gets his head on the ball...and redirects it into the goal...BUT WAIT!!! The ref has waved off the goal and indicated a push-off on the Turorian striker.

DT: That's some of the luck that the Warriors have been lacking so far during qualifying. Hopefully there's more where that came from.

LS: The Warriors certainly caught a break there. They need to do something soon, or Turori is going to runaway with this match.

**Halftime**

JC: We've reached halftime at the House of Prayer, where the Warriors still trail Turori 0-1. Turori has outshot the Warriors 9-2 so far in the match, but most of those shots have been off-target for both teams. What do the Warriors have to do to get back in this match?

DT: Be patient. They can score on the counter-attack if they get the right opportunity. They can help themselves by keeping Turori from getting close enough to get good looks at the net.

LS: The Warriors need to show more heart, John. They don't have any energy right now, and they're playing one of the top teams in the world. There's something wrong if you can't get up for a match like this.

JC: How important is coming up with a point in this match for the Warriors?

LS: If they have any dreams of qualifying, they need to pick up points against Turori and Adam Island due to their lack of early success against the teams they were supposed to beat.

DT: I agree with you, sweetie. It is very important for the Warriors to come out of this match with at least one point, and ideally all three, especially at home. However, unless they can come up with a much better effort than they produced in the first half, we could be looking at a devastating loss.

JC: What do you expect to see from the Warriors in the second half?

DT: A much better effort, but it's going to be hard to come from behind against the eighth ranked team in the world, even if it is at home. They'll at least make a decent showing and keep the match close.

LS: I'd expect more of the same, except that we're likely to see more shots of Sarah Walker picking the ball up from the back of the net than we saw in the first half.

JC: We'll be right back after these commercial messages...

**72nd minute**

JC: The Warriors are continuing to struggle against Turori, but they do have the ball in the Turorian end at the moment...Thomas Larson takes the pass from Ashley Gore...he makes a quick cross into the box...Amanda Tracy heads the ball past the keeper and INTO THE NET!!! The Warriors have tied this match at 1-1 on a header by Tracy after a cross from Larson.

LS: The Warriors aren't out of trouble by any stretch of the imagination, John. There's still 18 minutes left in this match for Turori to retake the lead.

DT: Oh ye of little faith. The Warriors have been playing better in the second half, and Walker is one of the best in the world in these situations.

**81st minute**

JC: Turori is trying to retake the lead...they have the ball on the left side...here comes the cross...it's headed towards the net...and Walker smothers the ball. Nice save by Walker keeps this match at 1-1 in the closing minutes.

**87th minute**

JC: Turori threatening again...here's the pass into the box...intercepted by Christine Holly...she hits Gore on a long pass on the right side...Gore slices through the Turori defense...she shoots from well outside the box...

**CLANG!!!**

IT'S IN!!! The ball bounced in off the inside of the right post! Ashley Gore has given the Warriors a 2-1 lead!!! Could a Warrior other than Thomas Larson have finally come up with a match-winning goal?

DT: It's very possible, John. Turori looks like they just had the wind taken out of their sails.

LS: What a shot by Ashley Gore! She knew she had her forwards charging the net to pick up the rebound if there was one, so she took her chance, and it found the net.

**90th minute**

**whistle blows**

JC: It's over!!! The Warriors have upset Turori 2-1 and picked up three critical qualifying points. This has to be a confidence builder for the Warriors, as they proved that they can find the blend of luck and skill that they showed throughout most of the first half of qualifying for WC XX.

LS: However, they have to head to Adam Island next, which isn't going to be an easy win. However, AI have been struggling, and now sit two points behind the Warriors in the table. A win over AI would be huge, as it would pretty much make it a four team battle for three spots, as long as the Warriors and Giant Zucchini take care of business in the second half of qualifying.

DT: As bad as the Warriors have looked in the first half of qualifying, so far, I'm stunned to see that they currently sit third in the group. Of course, things are far from decided, but the Warriors proved today that they can beat anybody in this group, especially at home. If I'm Adam Island, Tadjikistan, or Giant Zucchini, I'm not looking forward to coming to the House of Prayer in the second half of qualifying.

LS: David, I need to tell you something...I'm pregnant...

Druida

28-02-2005, 10:56

The Daily Druid

DRUIDANS LOVE TnUI
By Trevor Sandwich

A survey amongst Druidans found that, amongst those that gave an answer, 100% of Druidans thought that Total n Utter Insanity was currently their favourite other nation, not only because it was the location of Druida's Under-21 World Cup win, but also for how their team seemed to surrender so easily against the Rainbows a few weeks back. However, of all those asked, only 2% cared enough to give an answer.

ODD GOAL GIVES RAINBOWS DRAW
Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po on Oddslavo 2 Druida 2

Druida escaped with a lucky draw from Oddslavo last night after the Oddslavoran goalkeeper made one of the biggest cock-ups you are ever likely to see.

With the game drawing to a close, a sorry rainbows side were being dominated by Oddslavo. Despite taking an early lead through Trevor Walker, Oddslavo had fought their way back into a two-one lead, and were looking comfortable.

But then an unusual thing happened. As the game was drawing to a close, and with nothing much happening in a scrappy midfield battle, the home fans started chanting "Keeper, what's the score?" at their own goalkeeper. As he turned around to show them it was two-one, seemingly from nowhere, but in fact from the boot of the ever-alert Max Chilver, the ball sialed over his head into the net. To which we can only ask him what the score is now, sucker!

Final score:
Oddslavo 2 [Oddslavorans 46, 54]
Druida 2 [Walker 18, Chilver 88]

Games so far...

Matchday 1: Druida 5-0 Naglegrad
Matchday 2: Obsessed Muse Groupies 0-3 Druida
Matchday 4: Ratvipa 1-5 Druida
Matchday 5: Total n Utter Insanity 1-2 Druida
Matchday 6: Oddslavo 2-2 Druida

...top scorers...

6 - Max Chilver
3 - Trevor Law
2 - Dan Northfleet
2 - Rhys Owens
1 - Trevor Ng
1 - Trefor Montenegro
1 - Trefor Defnyddiwch
1- Trevor Walker

...and still to come.

Matchday 7: Finrods (h)
Matchday 8: Naglegrad (a)
Matchday 9: Obsessed Muse Groupies (h)
Matchday 10: The rainbows go on holiday.
Matchday 11: Ratvipa (h)
Matchday 12: Total n Utter Insanity (h)
Matchday 13: Oddslavo (h)
Matchday 14: Finrods (a)

Jeruselem

28-02-2005, 13:18

Jeruselem Government News

Join the dots!

Today Jeruselem played One Red Dot (yes, it is a nation) in the World Cup XXI. The dots are highly regarded and experienced World Cup veterans, which meant this Match Day 5 game was important. Would Jeruselem get the case of the dots or would the Jeruselem triumph?

A lone goal settled the game in the favour of the red and white crosses not the red dots. Reserve defender Maka Mi Daye scored the winning goal after coming on for Sheik Disco Dencir who was taken off after a suspected injury. This means Jeruselem move back to 2nd.

EL CID THE HERO stopped an unlucky Lykaia 1-0 to roll on and make it 5 wins in a row. This makes Jeruselem's 3 wins look average. Krazie won again but it was against Danieljoh who faltered 3-1. Antaeus Rising had the bye.

You can guess who Jeruselem play next and it's not going to be easy. The battle of Crusaders, the Holy Land vs the Spanish will be big game. With 3 teams with 7 points waiting to pounce, we must get a draw or win to keep up with the Jones or El Cids.

Group 1
Jeruselem - One Red Dot 1-0
Lykaia - EL CID THE HERO 0-1
Krazie - Danieljoh 3-1

Group 1 P W D L GF-GAPts
EL CID THE HERO 5 5 0 0 11-1 15
Jeruselem 5 3 1 1 8-5 10
Lykaia 5 2 1 2 9-7 7
One Red Dot 5 2 1 2 5-5 7
Krazie 5 2 1 2 8-12 7
Antaeus Rising 5 1 2 2 5-6 5
Danieljoh 6 0 0 6 5-15 0

Audioslavia

28-02-2005, 15:50

Nova Shitonus
Nova Britannicus Run Riot As 'Slaves Fall To FIFTH
Audioslavia, 4-4-2
-------------------------------
| 12 |
| Walsh |
| |
| 16 5 |
| 6 Burn Johnstone 3 |
|Ceulemans Carel |
| |
| 15 |
| 2 Cairbre 11 |
|Rijsbergen 19 Jansen |
| Jeroen |
| |
| |
| 20 18 |
| Stürmläufer Bull |
-------------------------------
| 9 |
| Jones |
| 11 10 |
| La Salle Pompey |
| |
| 8 7 |
| Cochran Lamphear |
| |
| 4 |
| Powers |
| 3 2 |
| Gooner 5 6 Monterrey| |
| Zimbod Johnson |
| 1 |
| Cavaletti |
-------------------------------
Nova Britannicus, 4-3-3

In a stormy game at the Soundgardia National Arena, the 'slaves pulled off arguably their worst performance in recent history.

This was Audioslavia's largest home defeat for... wait for it... SIXTY FOUR years when they lost that famous match to Squornshelous. The team thoroughly deserved it too. The eleven players that played the 90 minutes just looked a long way away from being as good as the last few Audioslavian sides.

Britannicus were two ahead by the time the 'slaves got their first shot on target, Alcander Bull having to wait through a Pompey finish and a Jones header before finally getting his own shot on goal, a shot which was handled easily by Caveletti

Nova Britannicus waved g'nite to the 'slaves just before the hour mark La Salle and Cochran combining to let Jones through for his second and Nova's third. It couldn't have been any easier as the 'slaves defence turned slower than an Abysmali turtle, Jones getting all the time in the world to finish past Walsh.

Jeroen scored a consolation goal on seventy-six minutes but it was way too little, way too late.

FINAL SCORE
AUDIOSLAVIA 1 (Jeroen 76)
NOVA BRITANNICUS 3 (Pompey 23 - Jones 29, 55)

Nova Britannicus 4 3 0 1 10-2 9
Haperd 4 3 0 1 5-2 9
Oceaice 5 3 0 2 5-6 9
Kylaai 4 2 1 1 7-3 7
Audioslavia 4 2 0 2 6-5 6
Sonaron 4 1 0 3 2-6 3
Funny Looking Islands 5 0 1 4 1-12 1

The table evokes images of Audioslavia's World Cup 9 qualification group, where after six matchdays they were joint bottom. Of course, after that they fought back over the next eight games to qualify in second place. Can they do it this time? They play second-placed Haperd away in a weeks time, a win could feasibly put them in second or third place before the Kylaai game. In any other season, the money would be on the 'slaves scoring anywhere between six and ten goals in these two fixtures, but for now, Audioslavia's real power in the competition remains uncertain.

G'nite bitches.

Rejistania

28-02-2005, 15:53

"Ximdi, how was the match?"

"Don't ask, Veren, 0:3"

"Slani! 0:3 against Raptor Claw?"

"Yes"

"C'mon, you're kidding!"

"I was! it's the other way around!"

"So, the Orange-Blues won, great!"

"I thought you had other things to worry about after being in coma for a few days."

Audioslavia

28-02-2005, 16:05

Romanov To Reign Over Slaves

Ex Cornellby City, Melmond City Blues and Audioslavia full-back Didi Romanov has been chosen to take the reigns at what at the moment must be football's biggest hot-seat: The rapidly spiralling Audioslavia side.

Romanov will take control of a team who's fortunes hang in the balance. Understrengthed? Underpowered? Underprepared? The 'slaves side have lost two of their last three home games against what has to be seen as sub-standard opposition. Mill quit, Redbank couldn't hack it, can the ex captain do it for us?

Romanov has hinted about the formation he wants to play. Dannes and McLlroy were shunned by Redbank, but under his reign could possibly restart their partnership up front, with the exciting Bull just behind them.

Romanov has said that the star players will need to start performing to get a place in their side, possibly giving the nation a hint that the 'old guard' of Marriot, Crevan, Jansen and Johnstone will have to play to their full potential for club and country if they want to retain a place in the team.

Here's our perception of the line-up Romanov will choose against Kylaai:

-------------------------------
| 1 |
| Andersson |
| |
| 16 5 15 |
| Burn Johnstone Cairbre |
| |
| 4 |
| Crevan |
| |
| 19 10 11 |
| Jeroen Marriot Jansen |
| |
| 18 |
| Bull |
| 9 17 |
| McLlroy Dannes |
-------------------------------

Romanov will most likely use a lot of the players bequeathed to him by Mill, but with the newer talents like Bull, Burn, Caibre and Jeroen playing their familiar roles. Under Romanov there will be no places for hotly tipped Arne Carel or Aron Ceulemans in an attacking line-up which sees five strikers on the field, albiet with two of them in the middle of the park.

Heres wishing Didi luck, he'll need it.

G'nite bitches.

Audioslavia

28-02-2005, 16:16

Haperd Hazard Overcome
Ricketty Away Performance Sees Slaves Pull Through

The 3-1 scoreline possibly flatters a 'slave side who were jittery and inconsistant away to Haperd.

This writer has to pause before giving the team the prefix 'lowly', as the Haperd side occupied second place going into the game, three places and points above the 'lowly' slaves.

Romanov's men weren't pretty to watch by a long shot. The 3-4-3 formation getting twisted around by Haperd's strong midfield, meaning Bull, Jeroen and Jansen were doing more defending than attacking, leaving Dannes and McLlroy alone up front.

The 'slaves would however get a slice of luck and a breakthrough. Ally Marriot was seemingly tripped on the edge of the area as he tried to flick the ball past a Haperd defender. Television replays proved inconclusive but the referee pointed straight to the spot. McLlroy converted the penalty and the 'slaves took the lead.

It was a lead that lasted just three minutes as Haperd pulled level going into half-time, Caibre failed to deal with a free-kick by letting the ball drop over his head, Andersson failed to deal with the resulting shot by Haperd's number nine, letting the ball slip under his body.

The second half saw Haperd again pin the 'slaves back into their own half, but their attacks were more often than not fruitless, and allowed for swift counter-attacks by the 'slaves who started to utilise Jansen's pace. This came to fruition in the eightieth minute as Jansen carried the ball up field and put Dannes through for 2-1.

Romanov threw on Aron Ceulemans for an again dissapointing Ally Marriot in a bid to protect the 'slaves lead. Ceulemans would go one better and scored a header off of a late corner for the 'slaves.

Altogether not a wholly brilliant performance, but the 'slaves have three much-needed points and move up to second in the table.

G'nite bitches.

Krytenia

28-02-2005, 17:03

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Curiouser And Curiouser

IT isn't over until the fat Vilitan sings. Though a two-one loss at the hands of Spurland caused much panic, the Caledonians are back on track and only one point off a qualification spot after a two-one victory over the much-fancied Spaamanian side.

The results leave the table like this:

GROUP 7 P W D L GF-GAPts
Spurland 5 4 1 0 13-5 13
Dance 2 Revolution 5 4 0 1 13-7 12
Kipto-Mare 5 2 1 2 7-6 7
Spaam 5 2 1 2 9-9 7
Krytenia 5 2 0 3 8-6 6
Anarquistan 6 1 2 3 5-10 5
Krakatou 5 0 1 4 4-16 1

Second-placed D2R are the Krytenian side's next opponents, and victory would mean them making a creditable shot at the automatic qualifying spots.

Krytenia - 1
Xousa 39

Spurland - 2
Manali 22
Wolf 82

Krytenia - 2
Neasden 4
Goodley 52

Spaam - 1
Smith 53

QUALIFYING SCORERS
P. Neasden - 4
D. Van Staveren - 2
K. Xousa - 2
T. Goodley - 1

South Osettia

28-02-2005, 18:25

The reporters were already beginning to leave as Cathy ran into the conference hall.

"Wait, come back! I've just got some really exciting news in!" There were hushed murmurs as the reporters got back into the seats, wondering what could possibly be so exciting as to reopen the lid. Cathy was out of breath after her run. "Just give me a few seconds, will you?" A few moments later, she stood up at her podium, and spoke in the calm but commanding voice she reserved for the press.

"We've just had word that we have beaten Oliverry 3-1 at home, meaning that we are still unbeaten at home after three matches. Also, as other results have gone our way, we are third in the group ahead of both The Weegies and Kaze Progressa, our highest position to date in any previous World Cup group." There were cheers and whoops from the crowd, and Cathy let them finish before going on. "Calculations by our top men have suggested that there is the slightest possibility that we may have a chance of reaching the finals." Now the hushed murmurs had increased in volume. One reporter put up his hand.

"Ray."

"So what're you saying? Are you saying that we can qualify for the World Cup Finals?"

"Ray, that is exactly what I am saying. If we continue on our current form, and if other results continue to go our way, there is a chance, albeit a small one, that we could still be in this competition in a week's time." Just then a courier entered the press briefing room and handed a Post-it note to Cathy. She read it and then looked back up to the crowd in front of her. "Already that chance seems to be fading away. Kaze Progressa has now gone above us after drawing 2-2 with Liverpool England. Sorry guys - guess I spoke too soon." There were disappointed groans, and people started to get up out of their chairs. "Remember guys, the next game's a friendly!"

***

The next day, and Emmett was meeting with Ubuloy. Polly was not happy, and was patrolling outside Emmett's office like a guard dog. Ubuloy noticed the glares she kept giving him.

"Your assistant doesn't like me much, does she?"

"Polly? Are you kidding? She loves you! Everyday she says 'I wish I had Qostaze Ubuloy as my boss'…it makes me…kind of…jealous." The conversation broke down as Emmett could see Polly holding up a piece of paper. On it she had written 'Kill him - kill him now!'. Ubuloy went to turn around to see what Emmett was looking at, but Emmett had closed the blinds before he could see the message. "Shall we get down to business?"

"What did you have in mind, Emmett?"

"Okay, we tell the players that there'll be a press conference tomorrow, and that anybody who wants to speak can do so. That way we can hopefully draw the player out into the open, upon which instance we pounce."

"It is a good idea, Emmett…but what happens then?"

"Then we find out who Costa Uboya is…Tom is a very good interrogator. I remember when somebody stole a piece of his pie once - it was like the Salem Witch Trials, only bloodier."

"Remind me not to get on the wrong side of Tom."

"So can you help us out with the plan?"

"Certainly - you can use one my halls for the conference. That way nobody will suspect a thing. I can organize some fake press…"

"Great, that's perfect! When can we do it?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow it is then."

***

Hugh had been trying to think up a master plan all day. Tom and Danny's cruel joke was playing over and over in his mind. He couldn't believe that he had fallen for something as idiotically simplistic as this. What had done it? The sternness in Tom's voice? The want to finally get something right? He didn't know, but he did know that he had to get both of them back. As it was he had been sitting in his office thinking. A number of staff assistants had walked past, and were commenting on how weird he looked just sitting there doing nothing. Bets were placed on what time he would finally stir, ranging from ten minutes time to five hours time. Eventually everybody got bored of waiting, and walked away. It was such that nobody saw him get up and leave five minutes later, and so it was decided that the money would go to buy another big basket of oranges for Tom, the first having been used up as missiles.

Hugh wondered around, seemingly aimlessly. In reality he was looking for the caretaker's room. He eventually found it directly opposite his own office, which was rather annoying for him, as a person who liked to think he had excellent orienteering skills. He picked the lock and silently snuck inside, so as nobody would notice. He searched the shelves and finally found what he was looking for - the opaque plastic bottle of bleach. Hugh was glad that he had finally found a reason for studying Chemistry.

An hour or so later he entered Tom's office, where Tom was busily writing something on a scrap of paper. Perfect, Hugh thought.

"What're you doing Tom?" Tom looked up, plainly annoyed at the intrusion.

"I'm writing an ode to marshmallows, Hugh, what does it look like I'm doing?" Hugh sat down on the end of the desk, forcing Tom to discontinue his work for a second time. "Can I help you?"

"Oh…no." Hugh counted to three and then flung himself across the desk, knocking everything off in the process.

"What the hell did you do that for!!!"

"I thought I saw a fly…" Tom wasn't listening - he had already gone to pick his papers up off the floor, dropping his pen as he did so. Hugh nonchalantly picked it up and replaced it with another. At that point Tom got up off the floor, a bundle of papers in his arms.

"I think it's time for you to go." He practically pushed Hugh out the door, slamming it in his face as he did so. Hugh chuckled to himself, confident that his plan was complete. He'd have to wait until tomorrow for results, but it would be well worth it to get back some of his male pride…what little there had been to begin with.

Kipto-Mare

28-02-2005, 19:27

Kipto-Mare play no game, but still move up thanks to the team Spaam who lost. Kipto-Mare beat Anarquistan 2-0 and were in 4th place but it was the day off that moved Kipto-Mare into 3rd and the possibility of the world cup finals after Spaam lost and Kipto-Mare have now a better goal difference.

Fmjphoenix

28-02-2005, 20:08

Squornshelous finds their attack as Fmjphoenix loses theirs

In a match that was the most important to date, the Vikings came out flat. They looked lost and confused in front of a very warm home crown that tried hard to give their team something to work for, but they could not get anything generated as the Pschychoes defense was overwhelming the Vikings forwards as Sqournshelous went on to defeat Fmjphoenix 3-1.

The Pschychoes started out first with the scoring. Jako Arnesson found his path blocked near midfield by Devin McBall and Jason Mitchell. He turned to shield the ball, and passed it outside to a wide open Scott Neese. Neese dribbled down the line, and then faked out Tra Miranda to open up a passing lane inside to Popov. Popov found an open path to the top corner and made it 1-0 in the 23rd minute. 13 minutes later Sven Erikson put up a long low ball that passed the Vikings trap. Pschychoes forward Trevor Gerrard beat out everyone to the free ball and headed to the box with a one on one with Powell Lamar and caught him wanting. Gerrard fired in a shot that stunned Lamar that he did not even react. The remainder of the first half saw the Vikings front four trying to get through the walls that the Pschycoes set up, and the Vikings failed miserably. The teams broke the first half with Squornshelous taking a comanding lead over Fmjphoenix 2-0.

Fmjphoenix came out with guns blazing in the second half though. 5 minutes into the secon half, Jason Mitchell passed up to Jorge Mendel who trapped it and passed of quick to Esteban Zeus, who started today instead of Quinten Bell, who passed off to Mike Nolan. Nolan made a quick turn to beat a sliding challenge by Peter Orlov and fired a put a shot past Manuel Batista to bring the Vikings within a goal. Sadly, 4 minutes later the Vikings defenders had a lapse, as they forgot about Yanni Zikov becuase they went after a pass to Gregori Petchukov who came up and just crossed the ball over to Zikov, who made a corner kick and killed the Vikings momentum build. The Pschycoes quited the Vikings comeback attemp when Mendel launched a shot that looked like a sure goal when Batista came from concevably nowhere to deflect the shot to Petchukov and thus ended any hope for Fmjphoenix making a comeback.

Despite the loss, Fmjphoenix still remains in third place in the gorup with 8 points. The Belmore Family lost to Iansisle, and that combined with a Bryn Shander victory and bye by Five Civilized Nations sees Fmjphoenix still with a good grip on third place. Now Fmjphoenix has to prepare to head to Iansisle, for another tough match and one that is equally important because they have to beat teams at this level in order to have any chance of qualifying. Coach Wash has decided that he will remain with his original starting eleven, opting for the scoring expertiese of Esteban Zeus instead of the speed and youth of Quinten Bell for the upcoming match.

Fmjphoenix: 1
(Nolan 50)

Squornshelous: 3
(Popov 23, Gerrard 36, Zikov)

Fmjphoenix Qualification Run:
MD01: --Bye--
MD02: Fmjphoenix @ Five Civilized Nations Draw 2-2
MD03: Fmjphoenix vs Bryn Shander Win 1-0
MD04: Fmjphoenix @ Nifty Nick Win 4-1
MD05: Fmjphoenix @ The Belmore Family Draw 2-2
MD06: Fmjphoenix vs Squornshelous Lose 1-3
MD07: Fmjphoenix @ Iansisle
MD08: --Bye--
MD09: Fmjphoenix vs Five Civilized Nations
MD10: Fmjphoenix @ Bryn Shander
MD11: Fmjphoenix vs Nifty Nick
MD12: Fmjphoenix vs The Belmore Family
MD13: Fmjphoenix @ Squornshelous
MD14: Fmjphoenix vs Iansisle
Record: 2-2-1

Cockbill Street

28-02-2005, 20:57

Matchday 7 qualifying scores are now up:

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8321628&postcount=9

Home team on left. Any queries, please post them in the discussion thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=8278620#post8278620)

Streetian Football Moments - Number Five:

It was one of the closest qualifying fights in known history - known Streetian history, anyway. Three teams - Lovisa, The Belmore Family and Cockbill Street - were tied on 30 points, all playing relatively easy opposition on the last matchday. The Belmore Family had a positive goal difference of 12, Cockbill Street 11 and Lovisa 10. With the Streetians taking an early 1-0 lead, that meant Lovisa had to win by two goals against Shang-ti - and guess what - that's exactly what happened. A strike from Georg Lunz in the 91st minute sent the Streetians right out of the World Cup - or so everyone thought. An official from the Eagles' Nest, clearly confused about the qualifying rules, announced that the Streetians were through after all - on the away goals' rule. But after intervention from the Progressan president of the WCC, the Streetians were knocked out, and Harald Axewielder denied the opportunity to play in his third successive World Cup. In the words of Olaf Iskalt:

"G'agh'khani'agh'ghan krehk roh'thi'ghi'nahk, WCC arkh'agh'ikh at'hitwa'nhi Yugag'hagi Ne'stah'iha g'ohg Eauz'iha".

# 8 1-0 win over Evisceratomatoes, World Cup 10
# 7 2-1 win over Spaam, World Cup 14
# 6 Stu Underwood, World Cup 19
# 5 Lovisa debacle, World Cup 15
# 4 ???
# 3 ???
# 2 ???
# 1 ???

Fmjphoenix

28-02-2005, 21:21

Vikings draw Iansisle, remain third through first half of qualification

In a great effort, Fmjphoenix managed to hold off an Iansisle attempt in the closing minutes and time stoppage to hold on to a 1 all draw against the second place team in the group.

The match was quite boring, to say the least. At least for the first half. The first half saw neither side doing much. Iansisle had the most possesion, but could not get anything past Powell Lamar, who was looking to returnt o form after a bad outing against Squornshelous. Iansisle had 5 attempts on target, but Lamar was a rock today, not allowing any of them past in the first half. The Iansislian goalkeeper was equally as stong as he held on to all six of the Vikings attempts on target. The most exciting part of the half was when Mike Nolan did a front flip over a slide challege from a defender.

The second half start off as slow as the match began, but Fmjphoenix was the one controlling the ball. At the 64th minute, an attack with the trio of Jason Mitchell, Nolan, and Jorge Mendel went forth on one of the top stoppers and it was a strike by Mendel that went through and gave Fmjphoenix the lead 1-0. That did not last as 5 minutes later when Lamar was tripped up by the goalpost from diving to deflect a previous shot. After the brief show of scoring, the match was slowed down. But as time stoppage approached, Iansisle looked poised to strike, but it was shut down when Lamar cleared a hard hit shot that ended the match.

With this match, the first half of the qualification is over. Fmjphoenix is doing well this time out, as they sit in third place with 9 points. Now, its time to revisit all the teams again with the first stop at Five Civilized Nations after their last bye. Last time around saw a 2-2 draw, but the Vikings are known as second half players. All trends from the previous cups show Fmjphoenix making their run here and now. Watch for them to jump up a bit more and challenge Iansisle for the 2nd spot in the group

Fmjphoenix: 1
(Mendel 64)

Iansisle: 1
(Unknown 69)

Fmjphoenix Qualification Run:
MD01: --Bye--
MD02: Fmjphoenix @ Five Civilized Nations Draw 2-2
MD03: Fmjphoenix vs Bryn Shander Win 1-0
MD04: Fmjphoenix @ Nifty Nick Win 4-1
MD05: Fmjphoenix @ The Belmore Family Draw 2-2
MD06: Fmjphoenix vs Squornshelous Lose 1-3
MD07: Fmjphoenix @ Iansisle Draw 1-1
MD08: --Bye--
MD09: Fmjphoenix vs Five Civilized Nations
MD10: Fmjphoenix @ Bryn Shander
MD11: Fmjphoenix vs Nifty Nick
MD12: Fmjphoenix vs The Belmore Family
MD13: Fmjphoenix @ Squornshelous
MD14: Fmjphoenix vs Iansisle
Record: 2-3-1

Sarzonia

28-02-2005, 23:49

Stars earn measure of revenge, 4-3

With the Sarzonian national team still smarting from the 4-1 shellacking at the hands of southern neighbours Crystilakere, the Stars made the short trip to Crystilakere for a key World Cup qualifying match. Even though Coach Dave Wilson still left the match shaking his head about the team's defence, the team could walk away having knocked the first chink into the Crystils' armour by dealing them their first loss of World Cup XXI qualifying.

"I know coach speak usually dictates one match at a time, don't get too excited, yadda yadda yadda," Wilson said in a jubilant press conference after the match. "But this was one of those crucial football matches that our supporters could end up remembering in the years to come."

Wilson could be excused for being a bit overexuberant. The teams played a close, often bitter series against each other with acrimony spilling over at times to postmatch confrontations that belied the two nations' sometimes harmonious relationship. The rivalry saw its first seeds planted when the Stars beat the Crystils 3-2 in their first-ever match during the first AOCAF tournament.

"It's no secret our sides don't like each other," midfielder Bobby Convey said. Convey proved the point by drawing an uncharacteristic yellow card for a shove to his counterpart on the Crystils. Forward Brian Wilson, who scored or assisted on all four goals, drew a red card in the 89th minute and will sit out the next match. Midfielder Darwin Russell will serve as team captain while the team shifts to a 4-5-1 formation.

"We put ourselves in a bat situation with Bri out," assistant coach Barry Owens said. "But we're going to have to step things up and play our brand of football. Darwin's got to show he can lead the team."

Chicanada

01-03-2005, 01:18

InterCanton Press

Kodiaks Win, Slide Into Upper Half

Chicanada [2] [1] Rittarstan
Westington () (25) Rittarstan (-) (32)
Klerington (1) (30)

Paradiso, Cerealian Canton:

What a way to close out the first half of qualifying.

Playing a similar style against an outmanned Rittarstan team Chicanda moved into third place in Group 6 play with a 2-1 win at the Ministry Fieldhouse. Surprisingly this game was done in the first half, as the stingy Chicanada defense prevented plenty of scoring opportunities for Rittarstan while Chicanada Forewards tended to loose the ball on the damp field. Play had been suspended for a half hour before the end of halftime due to a passing rainstorm and the field never completly dried out even under very warm coastal skies.

In the first half Jude Westington continued to prove his worth as captain by leading the scoring blitz by both teams. He scored in the 25th minute off a penalty call due to a lovely tripping play by Rittarstan. Five minutes later Weston Kozten scored off a pass from Samuel Klerington. Klerington let the following kick-off get away from him, allowing Rittarstan's forewards to score a quick goal two minutes later.

Going into the second half, Hiiran holds only a Goal Differential lead (5-1) for second place even with the Kodiaks 2-1 victory in Hiiran. Chicanada holds a Goal Differential lead over Nonesuch Street (1- -4) for third place (with NS's victory in Douala counted in the GD) and the slot into the home-and-home playoffs. Most Chicanadans are hoping to see the team ecke it out into the top two and avoid the playoff, and even while riding a very good points streak, Coach Jesnui Viladetta cautioned against getting too optimistic, "We're on the road more this time so we have to be more cautous about getting ahead of ourselves and play the game we're very capable of playing."

The Kodiaks do play their last three matches on the road but get two of their toughest matches at home - tommorow against Starblaydia and Thursday against Hiiran. There is a revenge-match trip to Nonesuch Street on Wednesday. After that, they get one more major make-or-break game against Melmond (whom the Kodiaks tied) before playing Allanea and Rittarstan again. Should the team be in a position to qualify at that point (which is very possible with how well the team has played) both games could be more spoiler than what was expected when qualifying began.

Many experts have the Kodiaks as a one-goal underdog for the match as Starblaydia is comming of very strong matches and is poised to run the table for the rest of qualifying. Viladetta said he'd love to see a tie or a win for the Kodiak side but even a loss would work for them as long as they can play well against their agressive opponents, especially if they can limit penalties and better manage ball control.

The Kodiaks head to the capital city for their second match against Starblaydia. It will be held at the brand new 106,000 seat TroutCo Field. The match is scheduled for 7000 CST and will be carried live by CanaTV. Most football pitches will be open after CFF play to show the game live.

Group 6 P W D L GF-GA Pts
Starblaydia 6 5 0 1 17-3 15
Hiiraan 6 3 1 2 12-7 10
Chicanada 6 3 1 2 11-10 10
Nonesuch Street 6 3 1 2 9-13 10
Melmond 6 2 2 2 11-8 8
Rittarstan 6 1 1 4 5-15 4
Allanea 6 1 0 5 2-11 3

The official schedule for Chicanada Qualifying
(Venues listed if known)

MD01 @ Starblaydia (L 1-2)
MD02 v Nonesuch Street (L 2-3)
MD03 @ Hiiraan (W 2-1)
MD04 v Melmond (T 2-2)
MD05 v Allanea (W 2-1)
MD06 -
MD07 v Rittarstan (W 2-1)
MD08 v Starblaydia (TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD09 @ Nonesuch Street (Relatively Large Arena, Time Dilation City, Nonesuch St.)
MD10 v Hiiraan (Easten National Arena, Eastentown)
MD11 @ Melmond (Anachronism Park, Cali, Melmond)
MD12 @ Allanea
MD13 -
MD14 @ Rittarstan

Legalese

01-03-2005, 01:22

The door swung open with a burst, as Robbie Heard stormed into his office. He sat down at the desk, fuming. Three games in the region, and one point to show for it! He reached for the bottle, pouring himself a very stiff drink. He knew that many more of them would be fixed that night, as he racked his brain for a solution.

His side had jumped off to a wonderful start, easily handling the lower teams in the group, and at a better pace than Sarzonia. They then went to Sarzonia, where they played their rivals to a 3-3 draw. True, that put them two back of crystilakere for second, but so what? The Legalese Soccer House had been rocking for the first few summer months.

Then the crash started. Crystilakere took a victory home, rather unsurprisingly, dropping Legalese to third overall, after a win by the Sarzonians. The Lowland Clans also posed a difficult challenge, but an achievable one for his guys. Yet, dropping the Bekkside Derby to the underachieving Blue and Whites dropped them out of the qualifying zone. With 6 matches to play over the next year, he needed to make up at least one point on The Lowland Clans. The only way to do it, however, is in the regional battles. This group will be decided by the Atlantican Oceanians, Robbie was sure. Which ones would it be, however?

His thoughts were cut off by an interruption at the doorway. "Hey," said Arthur Schram, "can I come in?"

Robbie looked at his boss, the Confederation's Executive Director. "Sure. Want a drink?"

Arthur passed. "I have to go home at some point, though I can see why you need it tonight."

"Aye. We get a chance to stick close for the last half of qualifying, and can get nearly nothing out of it. One point, one blasted point, Arthur, in three games! We need to do something different here."

"Well, you do have a lot of time before the next one, with that break in between. It's your team, do what you have to do to qualify."

Robbie thought carefully, trying to determine the next step. "Arthur, call the u21s in. I may have some work for them..."

Bedistan

01-03-2005, 01:23

The Bedistan Sports Digest
Terminate THIS!
or: The Fall of Liverpool, Part Two

COLUMBIA -- Before we begin this article, allow us to rewind the clock a bit. Fifty years ago to the day, in the year 2018 Bedistani reckoning, the final match of World Cup VIII was taking place. Bedistan and Oglethorpia were hosting that year, and Holmes Stadium in Columbia, at the time the largest sporting venue in the nation, had received the honor of hosting the World Cup final. That same year, Bedistan became the very first host nation to have a team advance to the final, though this was not totally unexpected -- after all, they were ranked #5 in the world. What was unexpected was their opponent. Somehow, Liverpool England had come completely out of nowhere to face the hosts in the final. It was a football fan's dream come true, as either the heavy underdogs of LE would go home with the Cup, or the Bedistani team would have the delight of winning the Cup on their own soil. Either way, somebody was going to be very happy. But it wasn't us.

In Audioslavian style, we now give you a transcript of BSTV's coverage of that historic match.

Sam: The moment we've all been waiting for has arrived at last! After months of exciting matches leading up to this climax, here we are -- the championship match of World Cup 8! And I couldn't be prouder to be bringing it to you live from Holmes Stadium right here in Columbia.

Joey: And on top of that, the Bedistan national team is participating in it as well. I don't think anybody ever dreamed we'd reach this point.

Sam: Indeed not. Hello everybody, I'm Sam Murphy here with Joey Stanton live in the BSTV broadcast booth up above the action here. That stadium is, understandably, packed to the gills today. It normally holds up to 82,814 fans, but an extra 20,000 temporary seats have been constructed for this Cup. But what's more, an additional 15,000 standing-room-only tickets have been sold as well -- and even those are going for over þ600. Close to 118,000 screaming fans will be seeing the action here today.

Joey: At any rate, we're playing Liverpool England here today, ranked twenty-eighth in the world. This should be a match to remember.

Sam: You bet your ass it will be. Especially as it is the final match for some of our team's greatest players, including goalkeeper Olivia Bream and forwards Lewis and Whitehurst. Coach Jim Parker is also retiring afterward. They're planning to go out in style.

Joey: Hopefully they'll go out holding the World Cup in their very hands. Kickoff is in about twenty minutes. Now of course, a huge event like this costs many millions of bakrani.

Sam: Yes, it does. I'm assuming that's a hint of some sort.

Joey: Yeah, we have to go to commercials.

Sam: Oh, right. We'll be back in a few.

.....

Sam: Okay, Joey, let's take look at the rosters for this historic matchup.

Joey: I'd be glad to.

Defense
18 - Richard Weiss***
19 - Laura Johnson***
22 - Mike Thomas***
27 - Mary Nelson*

Midfield
1 - Ken Sierra***
15 - Sally Myers***
26 - Phil Rivera*
32 - Claire Briscoe

Forwards
8 - Johnny Lewis***
16 - Jeff Whitehurst***

Goalkeeper
23 - Olivia Bream***

Players for 5th qualifyer
^Denotes Captain
Mark Hearne#
Phillipousis Hert#
Abel Davhere#
Port Jomas#
Lough Langley#
Hern Locklin#
D.D. Hamark#
Flip Dog#
Caddy Cannon#^ (captain)
Andrew Winter#
Lucas van Germ #
Paul Oliver Dussis #
Howard Christopher

Sam: Which of those Liverpool players are starting today, Joey?

Joey: Don't know. That's all I've got.

Sam: Well, it'll do, I guess. Anyway, keep in mind that eight of our eleven starters today will be retiring after this match. That gives them an additional incentive to play at their best, because they won't have another chance.

Joey: And...I believe that's the Liverpool England national anthem starting.

[silence for a few minutes as the Liverpool England anthem plays, followed by Bedistan's]

Sam: There's the toss....Bedistan wins! Time to separate the winners from the wannabes, Joey!

[7th minute]

Sam: Cannon on the attack...he sends it right, but Bream knows what she's doing out there. She deflects it out of play, and it's a corner for Liverpool.

Joey: As I expected, the attacks are starting early. This will likely be a fast and furious game.

[12th minute]

Sam: And Langley passes to Dussis...he tries it now, and GOOOOOOAL!

Joey: Nice shot by Paul Dussis there, and Liverpool England is up 1-0 in the 12th.

Sam: Bream looks angry with herself, but I can't deny that that was an excellent shot.

[29th minute]

Sam: Lions attacking now...Myers sends it up to Whitehurst. He hesitates for a second, now he kicks it...but the keeper easily takes control.

Joey: Jeff should've made that shot. I really think his age is catching up with him. I note that he hasn't scored a single goal this Cup -- maybe Parker's kept him on for too long?

Sam: It would seem that way...

[33rd minute]

Sam: And the ball goes to Cannon...he goes left, Bream with him...now he zips right and SLAMS IT IN!!

Joey: I don't believe it! How did she fall for that?!

Sam: Liverpool England up 2-0, and we're only a third of the way through. I don't like the way this is looking...

[Halftime]

Sam: And it's Bedistan 0 - 2 Liverpool England at the half. Surprising lack of defense out there today.

Joey: I would think with over a hundred thousand fans out there wearing the blue and silver, that there would be a significant morale boost. But either it's not happening, or our players are just really freakin' nervous.

Sam: Speaking of which, our producer Helen is looking really freakin' nervous. Must be time for another commercial.

Joey: She's nodding...so we will return after these messages.

.....

[56th minute]

Sam: Briscoe with the ball....she passes over to Myers, who in turn sends it to Rivera. He makes a shot from midfield, and the keeper misses by an inch! Goal by Rivera!

Joey: Down 2-1 now...we might still have a chance, though I think we'd have to hope for extra time.

[79th minute]

Sam: And that's a foul by Liverpool England in the box. Bedistan captain Johnny Lewis will take the kick, hoping for the equalizer here. He's waiting...concentrating...he kicks, and it's...off to the right.

Joey: That was not good. If we have ever needed a goal in the history of our team, this was the time, and Lewis couldn't deliver. I hope he can redeem himself soon...

[83rd minute]

Sam: He takes a shot, and -- oh no...it's in. Olivia Bream gives up her third goal of the match.

Joey: And the stadium now is unusually quiet, save for that contingent of Liverpool England fans in the northwest quadrant. Bream looks shocked, and for good reason -- it is very rare for her to give up three goals in one match.

Sam: I really don't know if we can come back now, Joey...

[92nd minute]

Sam: And...time. There's the whistle. And most of the stadium is as silent as a tomb.

Joey: Incredible. Just incredible. Coming in, it looked like we had it in the bag. Instead, we leave with the ultimate humiliation. The Cup suddenly snatched from our hands right at the end.

Sam: Olivia Bream has seated herself on the pitch and appears to be crying. She can't believe it either.

Joey: It's even worse for her because she knows she's the one that let those three goals in. Some of the team members are trying to console her, but I don't think she'll have any of that.

Sam: The managers are shaking hands now, but the disappointment on Jim Parker's face is obvious. So very close he was to retiring with the World Cup...but it was not to be.

Joey: Once again, that final score: Bedistan 1 - 3 Liverpool England. Liverpool England takes the World Cup. Congratulations to them.

Sam: For Bedistan Sports Television, the Bedistan News Network, and the PariMedia News Corporation, I'm Sam Murphy for Joey Stanton saying so long, and see you again next time.

-----------------------------------------

Final score:
Bedistan 1 (Rivera 56)
Liverpool England 3

And as a result of that match, Bedistan and Liverpool England have remained rivals ever since. The Green-Blues just defeated LE for the first time in our history in the group stage of World Cup 20 in Starblaydia. Now it was time to see if we could do the same at home and finally avenge that original loss. And for that special reason, the BFA chose to schedule the home qualifier against LE for Holmes Stadium, site of the WC8 final, rather than the national team's usual Fillmore National.

Sadly, today's match did not show anywhere near the level of excitement of the WC8 final. Bedistan altered its usual starting formation a bit, dropping back to a 5-1-2-2, which is a great deal more defensive than our standard 3-4-3. Then again, we'd only managed to score seven goals in four matches with the 3-4-3, so perhaps the three-person strike force wasn't as great as we thought. It was a very scrappy match, with the ball rarely leaving midfield. Bedistan had seven shots on goal to LE's six, though all shots were on target. Only one would find the net, though, and lucky for us, Vanessa Carpenter was the one who put her foot to the ball to open and close the scoring with a short-range free kick in the 37th minute. The single goal was enough, and there was a wild fan celebration at the end of the match. Now that we had beaten them at home, surely the Curse of Liverpool was finally over. But I guess we'll know for sure when we face them again on Matchday 14 in LE.

Final score:
Bedistan 1 (Carpenter 37)
Liverpool England 0

The Eagles Nest

01-03-2005, 03:27

The End Of The World Is Nigh

TEN FINALLY Defeats Eauz 2-1

A small history lesson shall we?

WCXIII: Round of 16 Eauz 2 - TEN 1
WCXV: 3rd Place Game Eauz 2 - TEN 1
WCXVI: Semi-Final Eauz 3 - TEN 0
WCXX: Group Play Eauz 1 - TEN 1

As you can see, Eauz has been TEN's daddy for the last oh...32 years.

NOT ANYMORE

The Strike Birds gained a win over the Eauzians with a 2-1 win in Stade d'Eauz today. the winning goal was a last minute attempt to get a score, and Horace blasted a shot from the top of the box that took out a defender and the goalie to get the game winner.

With the win, the Nest moves to 6-0-0, and is the only 6 win team left in the cup. We're not sure HOW that has happened, since the last three cups the Nest has stuck up the field like a herd of cows who just drank from e.Coli infested water.

Pretty picture huh?

Anyway, the Nest will prepare for the second side of the matches, and they have noticed that three wins will clinch them a spot in the Cup group play.

(dang it, I wasn't going to RP this cup, but I HAD TO SAY SOMETHING. This has been a long time coming.)

Gaian Ascendancy

01-03-2005, 03:43

~ Day off for rest, planning for Lovisan rematch. ~

Group 10
Vilita - Oaker 1-0
Lovisa - Big Pimento 3-1
Liamist States - Evalness 2-2

Group 10 P W D L GF-GAPts
Lovisa 6 5 1 0 18-6 16
Vilita 6 4 2 0 16-6 14
--------------------------------------------
Big Pimento 6 2 3 1 10-9 9
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Gaian Ascendancy 6 2 1 3 6-7 7
Oaker 6 2 0 4 6-9 6
Liamist States 6 1 2 3 11-16 5
Evalness 6 0 1 5 3-17 1

GANN Sports Desk: ~ The Seraphims spent the day lightly practicing, but also apparently psyching up for the rematch with Lovisa.

In fact the word is the entire second week is being geared for a hard push to try for the third place spot. This begins with the Lovisan match, one that despite the Lovisans impressive record and ability, still is a team that the Gaian's think 'can' be beaten, or at least drawn.

Starting Line-up for Lovisan Match:
-----

Keeper: (Home Guard)
GK: Kelse Howe

Defenders: (Shield)
RD: Lincon Dinor
LD: Julian Masaki
CD: Xan Tsgen

Midfielders: (Armor)
LM: Fasha Clark
RM: Eros Maine
CFM: Russel Issac
CRM: Pryde Tamara

Strikers: (Sword)
LF: Sean Masaki
RF: N`Buta Kerensky
CF: Ian Andersen

--

To have a real shot at third place, the team has to bring the game hard at the rest of the field in the next six match days. The fact that they've seen them all in action, as well as no match being more than two goals away from them, and a proven defense, gives the team serious hope.

However the next two days alone expect to be the real determiner. If at least one game can be drawn, and the other matches fall at least in favor of the Seraphim for the bulk of the week, along with outside matches here and there...

..all which means the Gaians need the help of their Goddess to get third place.

But the fun will be the race for that coveted position, currently held by Pimento. Where everything ends up is anyone's guess.

Melmond

01-03-2005, 05:50

Melmond - Nonesuch Street 0-2

Let's lynch the scorinator
Let's lynch the scorinator
Let's lynch the scorinator man!

Praying2God

01-03-2005, 07:50

Let's lynch the scorinator
Let's lynch the scorinator
Let's lynch the scorinator man!

OOC- Is that 44 I hear? :p

IC-

WARRIORS LACK FIGHT ON ADAM ISLAND

The Praying2God Warriors were defeated 0-2 by Adam Island in the last match of the first half of qualifying for WC XXI. The Warriors have been one of the greatest disappointments so far in this WC. The Warriors have their work cut out for them if they're going to try to qualify for the WC finals. Fortunately, they have some time off to regroup and refocus on the task at hand. Their next match will be at the House of Prayer against Giant Zucchini, whom the Warriors played to a very disappointing draw in their opener.

OOC- Has anybody in my group other than GZ and me RPed yet??? :mad:

Liamist States

01-03-2005, 08:01

WTF?
A Draw?
Ted Wehling, Liamist States Times

I will dispense with pleasantries and an introduction. The Liamist States drew 2-2 with Evalness. This pretty much ends any chance the Marmadukes have of qualifying in the World Cup. Sure, we still have six games to go but hell, things could get worse. They do have mostly away games.

This is indeed disappointing for the Marmadukes who, after winning the BoF, seemed confident of perhaps getting a playoff position. At the very least, most Marmaduketeers thought we could topple Gaian Ascendancy but they are off, winning games, and on behalf of the Liamist States, we wish them all the best. Chicanada, the defeated finalists of the BoF, has an even better chance still, currently occupying, third in their group, who also receive some Liamist kudos. If it’s any consolation, the top team in the world is now ranked fifth in their group, after some bad results. I know its not.

Anyway, the Marmadukes finished two-two against Evalness, giving them their first point. Armand Iziary scored both goals for the Marmadukes in a lack lustre performance that saw the Marmaukes booed as they left the pitch. Ratings are sure to nosedive now.

Needless to say, the Marmadukes did not face the media music. This is especially poor form after breaking a promise to hold a press conference on the last match day.

After their thirteenth international match, the Liamist States are sixth in their group.

Liverpool England

01-03-2005, 10:45

I guess it's over.... NOT!
Gareth Dussis plays down loss to Bedistan citing 'low morale'

Liverpool England suffered their first defeat of the qualifying campaign on MD7 against arch-rivals Bedistan at the site of their World Cup 8 triumph over the same team, Holmes Stadium.

The humbling 1-0 defeat (Vanessa Carpenter, 37th) left the Terminator fans with a sour taste in their mouth, however FALE chief played down the loss after the game, and ignored questions whether the popularity of the national game in the country was declining.

"That is absolute hogwash! We played well, and lost to a very well-taken goal. I'm proud of the lads, but I have to point out their relatively low morale after what happened in the first few moments [of the match, when Kevin Hargrove intentionally handled the ball in the penalty area, causing him to be sent off, although the resulting penalty was screwed wide]... going down [to ten men] did not help our cause against our archrivals; we'll just have to bounce back and win our next few matches."

The Terminators, who do not play on Matchday 8 or Matchday 9 due to the ceasing of Pubiconia and their bye date, will make use of the extra time to regain form and morale. The team, according to Dussis, have been "offered holiday time in Bedistan, where they'll stay up till Matchday 9." He also added that the team would be closely looking at Bedistan's matches and collecting information.

Druida

01-03-2005, 12:25

Speaker: "Hello, I'm Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po, former NEWI Cefn Druids striker and now writer for The Daily Druid."

Speaker 2: "And I'm Liam's former team-mate Bill Posters, and welcome to our mid-way report on World Cup qualifying here on DruidSport. You know, the one who got arrested for no reason way back when."

LGP: "How come they've got you to do this with me this time, Bill?"

BP: "Because I'm the only other former Druids player most of our audience will remember that isn't either dead, in a mental hospital or still affiliated with the team."

LGP: "So what are you doing with yourself nowadays, Bill?"

BP: "I work in advertising."

LGP: "That's lovely. Anyway, good to see you again. D'you want to get us started?"

Group 1 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
EL CID THE HERO 6 5 0 1 13 4 15 +9
Jeruselem 6 4 1 1 11 7 13 +4
-------------------------------------------------
Lykaia 6 2 2 2 10 8 8 +2
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Antaeus Rising 6 2 2 2 9 8 8 +1
One Red Dot 6 2 2 2 6 6 8 0
Krazie 6 2 1 3 10 16 7 -6
Danieljoh 6 0 0 6 5 15 0 -10

BP: "OK then, Group One, and our first surprise is the disappointing performance of the team from One Red Dot. Fifth place, and just a single point above the footballing superpower that is Krazie, surely the Wolves should have been expecting better."

LGP: "Don't worry, though, they're level on points with third place, so a play of berth could be easily in reach. Just as long as Lykaia don't get it, eh?"

BP: "Heh. Indeed. Group Two, Liam."

Group 2 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Crystilakere 6 5 0 1 20 7 15 +13
Sarzonia 6 4 2 0 19 9 14 +10
-------------------------------------------------
The Lowland Clans 6 3 2 1 11 8 11 +3
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Legalese 6 3 1 2 17 8 10 +9
San Verdi 6 1 1 4 7 18 4 -11
Murflonia 6 1 1 4 6 19 4 -13
Everlasting Friendship 6 0 1 5 5 16 1 -11

LGP: "Group Two is dominated by the top four. One of our regional Atlantian Oceania is definately staying at home next summer, and only two will make it through. I fancy Sarzonia and The Lowland Clans to beat Crystilakere into third, with Legalese just missing out yet again. Bill?"

BP: "Surely their time has come now? Legalese to beat TLC to the playoffs, and hopefully beat whoever they come up against. The top two can fight over who wins the group by themselves."

Group 3 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Tadjikistan 6 4 2 0 12 7 14 +5
Turori 6 4 1 1 16 4 13 +12
-------------------------------------------------
Giant Zucchini 6 3 2 1 9 7 11 +2
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Adam Island 6 3 0 3 6 9 9 -3
Praying2God 6 2 2 2 10 11 8 -1
Gilgrado 6 0 2 4 5 12 2 -7
Seton Rebel 6 0 1 5 7 15 1 -8

BP: "The same can be said for Group Three, where Turori and Tadjikistan look like good bets to make it through. Third place - anyone's guess, I'd say Adam Island."

LGP: "Praying2God look good to me, they still haven't really got going, if they hit full pelt, they'll ease into third place and, surprisingly for a nation who've been in and out of the game as long as Druid nations have, if they made it, it would be their first finals appearance."

BP: "You can't knock Giant Zucchini, though. They've had to come back from having a great footballing dynasty left in tatters to where they are now. They've got a good chance of maintaining a strong challenge, but I still think they'll miss out again this time."

LGP: "Well, here's a funny looking group..."

Group 4 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Oceaice 6 4 0 2 8 6 12 +2
Nova Britannicus 6 3 2 1 11 3 11 +8
-------------------------------------------------
Audioslavia 6 3 1 2 10 7 10 +3
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Haperd 6 3 1 2 6 5 10 +1
Kylaai 6 2 3 1 9 5 9 +4
Funny Looking Islands 6 1 1 4 3 12 4 -9
Sonaron 6 1 0 5 2 11 3 -9

LGP: "...no, not because it has Funny Looking Islands in it, but because of the leaders. Yes, that's right folks, it does say Oceaice at the top of that table."

BP: "This is one of those groups where it stays close until about now, when the class and experience of the better teams usually starts to show. There's usually a couple of these. Everyone's still in the race for a place, but you still have to fancy Audioslavia and Nova Brittanicus. As for the play-off place? Give me a five sided coin and I'll toss it. All of the sides seem equally incapable of putting a run together. I'll say Kylaai to edge it, but I wouldn't put money on it."

LGP: "I'm just going to agree with you completely on that one."

BP: "Time for another shock alert!"

Group 5 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Squornshelous 6 5 1 0 13 3 16 +10
Iansisle 6 3 3 0 9 2 12 +7
-------------------------------------------------
Fmjphoenix 6 2 3 1 11 9 9 +2
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Five Civilized Nations 6 2 2 2 8 7 8 +1
Bryn Shander 6 2 0 4 6 7 6 -1
The Belmore Family 6 1 2 3 7 14 5 -7
Nifty nick 6 0 1 5 1 13 1 -12

BP: "TBF are... well... embarrasingly poor so far. And, Liam, this is worse than the ORD situation."

LGP: "It certainly is, Bill. Negative seven goal difference as by all means atrocious. And they're four points off Fmjphoenix in third, and seven off automatic qualifying. Plus the teams ahead of them are no pushovers either. I just can't see how they can make it."

BP: "Pschychoes and Ians through yet?"

LGP: "Just about..."

Group 6 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Starblaydia 6 5 0 1 17 3 15 +14
Hiiraan 6 3 1 2 12 7 10 +5
-------------------------------------------------
Chicanada 6 3 1 2 11 10 10 +1
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Nonesuch Street 6 3 1 2 9 13 10 -4
Melmond 6 2 2 2 11 8 8 +3
Rittarstan 6 1 1 4 5 15 4 -10
Allanea 6 1 0 5 2 11 3 -9

LGP: "...and the same goes for Starblaydia. It's definately theirs to throw away. The rest's a bit of a mess right now."

BP: "And a mess I wouldn't want to judge. Melmond for second, definately. For the play-offs? Hiiraan, as ever, are improving, newcomers Chicanada are lighting up all before them, and Nonesuch Street have the hosts on their side. I think Chicanada will get the spot."

LGP: "I, on the other hand, will go for a surprise here. Hiiraan to hold on to second place, with an unlucky Melmond third, and thrashing anyone but Legalese in the play-offs."

Group 7 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Spurland 6 4 1 1 14 8 13 +6
Dance 2 Revolution 6 4 0 2 14 10 12 +4
-------------------------------------------------
Spaam 6 3 1 2 12 10 10 +2
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Krytenia 6 3 0 3 11 7 9 +4
Kipto-Mare 6 2 2 2 7 6 8 +1
Anarquistan 6 1 2 3 5 10 5 -5
Krakatou 6 0 2 4 4 16 2 -12

BP: "Now, forgive me if I'm wrong, Liam, but that does say "Spurland" at the top of Group Seven?"

LGP: "It certainly does. And that is indeed Krytenia in fourth place. Five points seperating the top five, I'd go for the Caledonians to ease into second behind D2R, with maybe Kipto-Mare edging third."

BP: "I'm just not gonna guess. I'll sit on the fence over this one."

LGP: "And if there's barbed wire?"

BP: "Sorry?"

LGP: "I mean, if you had to make a decision, as your life depends on it."

BP: "But... it doesn't."

LGP: "Fair point. Group Eight..."

Group 8 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Bedistan 5 5 0 0 8 1 15 +7
Liverpool England 5 3 1 1 9 4 10 +5
-------------------------------------------------
Kaze Progressa 5 1 3 1 8 7 6 +1
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Weegies 5 1 2 2 7 8 5 -1
South Osettia 5 1 2 2 6 8 5 -2
Oliverry 5 0 0 5 1 11 0 -10

LGP: "...Bedistan are 100% so far, so well done to them. Liverpool England are almost there too. Third place... you're gonna sit on the fece again, aren't you Bill?"

BP: "Yup."

LGP: "And that's why you work in advertising. South Osettia to spring a surprise over the highly fancied Progressans and The Weegies, who've been going to the Cup of Harmony longer than... well, I can't quite remember. Probably since before it even existed."

BP: "They never get the luck of the draw, do they? Speaking of luck..."

Group 9 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
The Eagles Nest 6 6 0 0 19 8 18 +11
Eauz 6 5 0 1 12 5 15 +7
-------------------------------------------------
Commerce Heights 6 2 2 2 9 6 8 +3
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Slaikau 6 2 2 2 10 9 8 +1
Talzeckia 6 1 1 4 12 14 4 -2
Gibberovia 6 1 1 4 4 15 4 -11
Sjwitz 6 0 2 4 5 14 2 -9

BP: "The Eagles Nest's has finally turned, after two poor efforts at qualifying in a row, as well as a deeply disappointing World Cup 20 here in Druida, they now have the best qualifying record out of everyone. So very well done to them!"

LGP: "I like TEN. Here's hoping that they can go all the way to the final this time. Where they'll lose to Druida. Obviously."

BP: "Well they, as well as Eauz, look to have qualification pretty much sewn up. Commerce Heights look like needing the play-offs to make it."

Group 10 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Lovisa 6 5 1 0 18 6 16 +12
Vilita 6 4 2 0 16 6 14 +10
-------------------------------------------------
Big Pimento 6 2 3 1 10 9 9 +1
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Gaian Ascendancy 6 2 1 3 6 7 7 -1
Oaker 6 2 0 4 6 9 6 -3
Liamist States 6 1 2 3 11 16 5 -5
Evalness 6 0 1 5 3 17 1 -14

LGP: "Who'll be in the play-off draw from Group 10 is still anyone's guess, though. My guess right now would be the Seraphims to overtake the excessively tall Big Pimentos."

BP: "Class has told here. Lovisa and reigning champs Vilita are virtually there..."

Group 11 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Svecia 6 5 1 0 20 4 16 +16
Rejistania 6 5 1 0 12 0 16 +12
-------------------------------------------------
Wella 6 4 0 2 11 8 12 +3
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Moleland 6 1 2 3 8 14 5 -6
Pterodactyl 6 1 2 3 9 16 5 -7
Totally Useless Liars 6 1 0 5 4 15 3 -11
Raptor Claw 6 0 2 4 7 14 2 -7

BP: "..as have Svecia and Rejistania, though Wella are still lurking in the background."

LGP: "I know you may laugh at me here, but I think the biggest disappointment in all of qualifying is here in Group Eleven. Raptor Claw are bottom of the group, behind both their own colony-type place Pterodactyl and Totally Useless Liars, who are reported to be close to our own Druidan government. Whether you should believe that or not is open for question."

BP: "No surprise in the Orange-Blues' performance. Yes, that's right, no goals conceded! How Rejistanian can you get!?!?!"

LGP: "And, indeed, how Druidan can you get?"

BP: "What are you on about? Druidans aren't famous for defending."

LGP: "No, not that. This."

Group 12 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Total n Utter Insanity 6 5 0 1 17 5 15 +12
Druida 6 4 1 1 17 5 13 +12
-------------------------------------------------
Oddslavo 6 3 2 1 16 11 11 +5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Finrods 6 2 1 3 7 12 7 -5
Ratvipa 6 2 0 4 8 13 6 -5
Naglegrad 6 1 1 4 8 17 4 -9
Obsessed Muse Groupies 6 1 1 4 5 15 4 -10

BP: "Second place? That's not bad. Not great, but not bad."

LGP: "But we lost to Finrods! How Druidan is that!?!?!"

BP: "Beat the also rans, beat the best teams, then when it comes to the mid-ranked potential cannon fodder, the Druid team goes and bottles it. Typical."

LGP: "Still, the rest of our group sucks. We'll still make it."

BP: "I dunno. We suck too."

LGP: "Yeah, but not as much as TnUI."

BP: "I wouldn't be so sure about that."

LGP: "And Oddslavo? What the hell's that all about, eh? *sniggers*"

BP: "Indeed. Well, I think that's everyone covered, now. Liam it's been a pleasure to join you today."

LGP: "Finrods, don't make me laugh! *giggles*"

BP: "I'm... er not really trying to. It's been good seeing you again."

LGP: "Ratvipa! Naglegrad!!! *Breaks into uncontrolable laughter*"

BP: "Indeed, well, I've been Bill Posters, he's been Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po, and we're saying goodnight to you all."

LGP: "Ob... Obsessed Mu... *THUD*" *Gessemschmitthaagen-Po falls off his chair in hysterics.*

BP: "Er... good... night..."

Jeruselem

01-03-2005, 13:56

Jeruselem Government News

When Crusaders clash

World Cup XXI, Jeruselem meet El Cid in the Group 1 qualification game. Jeruselem were 2nd and El Cid undefeated in top spot. There are 3 chasers on 7 points behind Jeruselem, and a loss would help the chasing pack. It was an important game.

The clash of the Crusaders of the Holy Land and the undefeated Spanish Crusaders. Two medieval armies of armour clad knights of Christian faith clashed in the field of soccer in a game that did not disappoint. While in the world cup, you aren't allowed to kill people it would have happened 600 years ago on the field of battle.

In the end, the Knights of Jeruselem won after a battle where lasting to the last minute. El Cid scored first after a close range header in the 20 minute, but Jeruselem responded to equalise in the 34th minute. The second half was more exciting with failed raids on the both goals frustrating the combatants. The Spanish broke through in the 60th minute after a deflected shot on goal from a Jeruselem defender confused Adrian Moel. Jeruselem fought back to equalise again in the 87th minute when a Jeruselem header was sent into the bottom corner.

Two all, and time was running out. Captain Louis de Levant stole the ball from a tired El Cid defender and fired a pot shot at the goal. It eluded the keeper and bounced under the goal top bar into the net.

One Red Dot tied their game with hopefuls Lykaia but really should have won. Antaeus Rising fired with a great 4-2 win over Krazie who weren't all bad. Danieljoh had the bye but it's better than losing.

EL CID have 15 points and Jeruselem creep up with 13. We have three teams on 8 points and one on 7 points. This is the group of death.

Group 1
EL CID THE HERO - Jeruselem 2-3
One Red Dot - Lykaia 1-1
Antaeus Rising - Krazie 4-2

Group 1 P W D L GF-GAPts
EL CID THE HERO 6 5 0 1 13-4 15
Jeruselem 6 4 1 1 11-7 13
--------------------------------------------
Lykaia 6 2 2 2 10-8 8
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Antaeus Rising 6 2 2 2 9-8 8
One Red Dot 6 2 2 2 6-6 8
Krazie 6 2 1 3 10-16 7
Danieljoh 6 0 0 6 5-15 0

Totally Useless Liars

01-03-2005, 14:52

YESTERDAY'S CODSWALLOP
Circulation: 6.35 chickens

HONEST MEN IN QUALIFYING BERTH
By No-one

After only losing one game so far in qualifying, Totally Useless Liars are sitting comfortably in second place in qualifying Group 11 behind Raptor Claw. A 3-0 win over Pterodactyl in their last game meant that they went into the half-wat stage only dropping three points along the way. Rejistania nad Svecia have disappointed as expected, joint bottom of the group with just two points each. Indeed, Rejistania, who are also known as the purple-whites, haven't even scored yet, while Svecia have let in a whopping 20 goals.

The Honestmen's next game is not Wella at home, and that is one that they should again win. Any other result would also be a win.

Eauz

01-03-2005, 15:18

Back in Red

When a news report slips through the cracks, Lewis Red is there to catch it, in a segment called “Back in Red”.

Lewis Red: Well, what a week it has been, and what better way to start off this segment, then to know that the Eauz/TEN curse has been broken. Ms. Margaret must be really having some fun with teams, as the same time Eauz breaks the CH curse TEN breaks the Eauz curse. Nonetheless, during the match between Eauz and TEN, television stations in TEN were running some pretty crazy advertisements, such as… “By Buying [alcoholic beverage name] you can ensure that TEN will have a better chance of beating Eauz and the curse.” Wait! HOW THE SLANI HELL, DOES THIS HELP THEM? Do they get extra money for playing the match? I guess they could use the money to bribe the referees? Wait no! Our officials aren't that bad, right???Nonetheless, it appeared that many of the TEN fans were slaves to this advertisement, as you could definitely tell they had consumed more than the recommended amount for a person.

Anyways, in Melmond, fans are crying foul, as their team lost 2 – 0 to Nonesuch Street. The Capitalist are complaining to the WCC & hosts, but I doubt they will have any sympathy. Let this be a lesson to you children, capitalism only works, if it is in your favour. First they want to control an industry (ie: Monopoly) and then if you do better than them, they cry foul, and demand that they should be in control of the means of production!

For those religious people in the world, I think I’ve seen a sign that the end of the world is in sight. In Hippion, Starblaydia, the folks have decided to create a miniature village inside this city, where the national animal, The Lion can live a bit of the life that Humans do. In this little village, there is a few houses (reminds me of my college days) a public toilet, and to ensure that no religious lion is left out there is a SLANI Church! A CHURCH!!! Maybe it’s because I’m an atheist, but the last time I checked, I doubt any animal will care to be dressed up as a priest, he doesn’t even know a “super being” EXISTS OR NOT!

And finally, to finish this off, we will stay at home, in Zuka in fact, as the leader of Eauz met up with the leader of Rejistania. As our fearless leader chatted it up about some stupid political speech (probably about how horrible capitalizm is), the Rejistanian leader looked as if he were staring into space, not really paying attention. And get this! When Eauz’s fearless leader said something to the Rejistanian leader, the Rejis leader didn’t move for about 10 second, before realizing it was their turn to speak. NOTE TO REJISTANIAN LEADER: This is not college anymore! Maybe you should use some of that special Rejis coffee blend, or even that alcoholic beverage from The Eagle’s Nest!!!

Audioslavia

01-03-2005, 15:30

She's a Kylaai... Queeeeen
'Slaves Mess It Up At Home Pt. 3

Another swapped-around 'slavian team, another couple of points gone begging, another notch off of the 'slaves morale.

Audioslavia, 4-4-2
-------------------------------
| 23 |
| Dracon |
| |
| 15 5 |
| 21 Cairbre Johnstone 13 |
|Zackary Ericin |
| 22 |
| Voshond |
| |
| 19 11 |
| Jeroen Jansen |
| 10 |
| Marriot |
| |
| 9 7 |
| McLlroy Taavi |
-------------------------------
| 9 10 |
| Kazu Vimorta |
| |
| |
| |
| 11 7 |
| Sun 4 8 Norada-Fell|
| Moria Fleiam |
| |
| |
| 3 2 |
| Tirar 5 6 Max |
| Burrito Frito |
| |
| 1 |
| Nania |
-------------------------------
Kylaai, 4-4-2

For some reason, Romanov changed three quarters of Audioslavia's defence and attack. Gone were Bull, Dannes, Ceulemans, Carel, Burn and Crevan, in were three players who were making their debut and two more (Dracon and Taavi) who hadn't played a game for the 'slaves for years.

It was a match which needed a fully professional performance from the 'slaves, but with their best players out of the team, they just couldn't give it. Arie Voshond was woefully exposed in midfield with Marriot playing more like a headless chicken than a central midfielder, and Jeroen and Jansen too often getting sucked into attacking positions and not making up the ground when the 'slaves lost the ball.

It wasn't suprising when Kylaai took the lead. Kazu and Sun combined to flick the ball round Zackary, puttuing Kazu through on the left. Caibre was way too slow in intercepting him, and the Kylaai striker finished with ease past Auden Dracon.

Audioslavia's attacks just weren't as lethal as one would expect from a 'slave team. Ally Marriot's lack of form was shocking for a player voted 'best in Audioslavia' every other year since first bursting onto the scene as a plucky seventeen year old. His touch is shocking and he just doesn't have the skill, or the confidence, to compete at international level.

His replacement at half time was almost-forgotten number fourteen Karayan Araxie, a player who played in the World Cup 20 final but was conspicuously left out of recent qualifiers. Araxie fared better, but in all the midfield was woefully inept at keeping or getting the ball, leaving the strikers Taavi and McLlroy frustrated. This frustration was released by McLlroy in a violent tackle on Rising Sun which got him sent from the field and forced the Kylaai winger to leave the field for five minutes to recieve treatment. Those five minutes would prove costly for the Kylaaish team.

Taurxa Jeroen found space down that vacant right hand side and cut the ball back for Araxie. A clever flick found Jorma Taavi behind the defence, and all it needed was a tap from the striker to put the ball past the goalkeeper and the 'slaves on level terms. A well-taken goal, but one can't help feeling that Kylaai could have prevented it had they had eleven men on the field.

With McLlroy off and the 'slaves down to ten men, Romanov played his best card by taking off the ineffectual full backs Darrien Zackary and Jan-Aage Ericin, and throwing on centre-half Aron Ceulemans and midfielder Oran Crevan, bolstering Audioslavia in the positions that they were struggling in. The extra man in midfield invited Jeroen and Jansen to venture forward to support Taavi, and all of a sudden the 'slaves were looking good. Taavi almost got the winner on eighty-one minutes with a downwards header which was well kept out by Nania, before Jansen scythed his way through the Kylaai defence beautifully, but his pass accross to Araxie was wayward and Kylaai were allowed to clear. In the end, time ran out for the 'slaves to get the winner, and the side were left with a rather dissappointing 1-1 draw which still leaves them one defeat away from fifth place, but at least Romanov might have just found his most potent formation.

FINAL SCORE
AUDIOSLAVIA 1 (Taavi 67)
KYLAAI 1 (Kazu 19)

Sonaron

01-03-2005, 16:19

Pride Futility Continues
452 minutes and counting. Futility record drawing near.
Coach Raizor cancelled his news conference after the Sonaron Pride failed to score in their fifth consecutive World Cup Qualifier, dropping their record to 1-0-5. Team officials indicated that the coach would be changing to a 4-5-1 format, benching two of his underperforming forwards in an effort to improve the team's defense and try to generate some counter attack chances. Robertson will remain starting in the forward position, while Roger Arzlen and Samantha James will be starting in the midfield.

In other team news, several sources have confirmed that Jorgen Stamm, retired stadium manager from Commerce Heights best known for operating Khillest Chroniton Field over a period of 17 years, will come out of retirement to run Rhovani Stadium. Pride fans sincerely hope he will be in place by the Kylaai game, so that no further disasters occur. After the RSA was fired but forced to stay on to manage day-to-day operations during the search for a new manager, several serious problems have occured at the stadium, including a sewage line rupture that left a large mess in the VIP access ramp for the Haperd game and a water outage that caused all bathrooms to be closed for the FLI game. This reporter hopes that the new stadium manager will change the team's fortunes at Rhovani.

In a related announcement, team officials have indicated that the retractable roof will be finished before the Audioslava game, bringing relief to many fans who were concerned about games in an uncovered stadium during Sonaron's winter season.

Pride (1-0-5 -9, 7th place) Schedule:
WC XXI Group 4
MD01: @ Kylaai (W 2-1)
MD02: v Nova Britannicus (L 0-1)
MD03: @ Audioslava (L 0-2)
MD04: v Haperd (L 0-2)
MD05: --REST DAY--
MD06: v Funny Looking Islands (L 0-2)
MD07: @ Oceaice (L 0-3)
MD08: v Kylaai
MD09: @ Nova Britannicus
MD10: v Audioslava
MD11: @ Haperd
MD12: --REST DAY--
MD13: @ Funny Looking Islands
MD14: v Oceaice

Rejistania

01-03-2005, 17:11

Wella done

The Wellan team, was defeated by a strong Rejistanian side by a clear 1:0. The Orange-Blues continued their 'Karelian 100%' record: The did not concede a goal in the entire qualifiers. At halfway point, they are behind Svecia on Goal Difference in the table, maybe because the Svecians prefers an a slight bit more attacking style. Needless to say that Karelans prefer another method to sort the tables, where a lower number of losses and a low GA are criterias if the points are equal.

The Orange-Blues dominated this match but did little with their dominance after the quick goal of Syku Lyku in the 5th minute. Sasijilvenku Dikelesinivetisaru shot a corner kick and SyDe headed the ball past the Wellan unnamed goalie. The second big chance for the Orange-Blues was in the 79th minute. Maybe this fact describes the match better than all talk about tactical Systems does.

The result:
Rejistania 1 (Lyku 5th)
Wella 0

OOC: My PC crashed and I lost my previous RP.

Nonesuch Street

01-03-2005, 17:12

They Don't Rate Us - We Don't Care
Nonesuch Make Ketchup of Farmers

Nonesuch Street came back from a rather remarkable streak yesterday, having lost 0-6 and 1-4 in two games to have their worst two-game run ever. Melmond fans were furious after the game, which had been close but lucky for the Nonesuch team - who had five chances and scored two goals.
The worst thing is that nobody really know how it happened. The Ketchup Times kept moaning about something called a scorinator, which we're not entirely sure what is (though we have a feeling that someone in Cockbill Street is hiding one), so they haven't printed a report, our newspaper man was drunk, the stadium was filled with crazy Melmands who refused to say anything about it, and the referee was Hiiraanian, hence it would be impossible for us to get anything sensible out of him. The match is, in fact, in a kind of superposition.

However, what we do know is who scored the goals and when. W.E. Pohli made a goal in the nineteenth minute, sending a penalty in behind Alex McCarthy, and an own goal from Charles Unne settled the matter. A 0-2 loss sends Melmond down into fifth place - a disaster for them - while Nonesuch is in fourth, tied on points with Hiiraan and Chicanada, though hampered by the goal difference. They have three relatively easy matches, and need to cash in before the real tests start - trying to regain some confidence against Hiiraan, as it surely can't go worse than the last time around.

Melmond 0
Nonesuch Street 2 (Pohli 19, Unne 81 og)

Spurland

01-03-2005, 18:53

Surprise As Spurland Sit Top Of Group 7

Spurland could have harldly asked for a better first half to their qualifying campaign. With a total of four wins, one draw and one loss, they can be proud of their achievements on the pitch. In particular, strikers Tokai Hashish and Martin Wolf have been superb, with each scoring an impressive number of goals.

For a team who has never qualified for a World Cup in its history, its recent performances have been impressive.

Krytenia 1 - 2 Spurland
The match was a closely contested affair, with both teams never really excelling. Manali gave the Spurs the lead, which was soon cancelled out by Xousa. The game looked like it was heading for a draw when Wolf sealed the win for Spurland with a little less than 10 minutes to go.

Spurland 3 - 1 Dance 2 Revolution
This was expected to be an easy win for D2R, but the top seeds of the group failed to impress at Spurland. The Spurs went up 3-0 before half time, goals coming from Hashish, Wolf, and Lentworth. Maeda scored for D2R in the second half. No other chances were seen for either side for the rest of the game.

Spaam 3 – 1 Spurland
Sitting on top of the group at this poit, the players looked confidant. This proved to be their downfall, they seemed to rest on what they had already acomplished in the previous days and never really seemed to get into the game. Their only goal they scored came from a penalty after a defender bought down Hashish in the box.

Group 7 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Spurland 6 4 1 1 14 8 13 +6
Dance 2 Revolution 6 4 0 2 14 10 12 +4
-------------------------------------------------
Spaam 6 3 1 2 12 10 10 +2
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Krytenia 6 3 0 3 11 7 9 +4
Kipto-Mare 6 2 2 2 7 6 8 +1
Anarquistan 6 1 2 3 5 10 5 -5
Krakatou 6 0 2 4 4 16 2 -12

South Osettia

01-03-2005, 18:58

The stage was set…almost. The finishing touches were just being made to the décor, and as the fake press filed into the room, Emmett pulled Ubuloy aside.

"So you're sure this is going to work?"

"Emmett, the press are all members of my kitchen staff who have been given pre-prepared questions to ask the player. There are no microphones, due to the 'acoustic velodromaticity' of the room - "

"The what?"

"I don't know, I've just made it up…but it sounds professional. More believable, you see. The cameras are real, but they won't be turned on. If they are, this green light will be lit." He turned a nearby camera on, and sure enough a green light started to flicker above the lens. Ubuloy turned the camera back off again. "So you see, none of this will be taken down. None of it will be recorded, and none of it will ever get out. You have to trust me, Emmett." Emmett wanted to, but just couldn't bring himself to give a man who would do anything to get his job the benefit of the doubt.

"Well…okay. What time is this scheduled to start - it's Moira's birthday today, and I need to go and find a present for her." Ubuloy tutted, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, producing a noise reminiscent of some kind of bird.

"The many vices of married life, Emmett. That is why I never got myself involved in the holy sacrament of matrimony - never enough time and never enough money." Emmett thought this a particularly jaded view of marriage, but didn't really think this was the time to have 'the talk' with Ubuloy. Maybe later, when this was done. An assistant of Ubuloy's ran up to the two men, panting away, as if he had just ran all the way from the hotel foyer. It turned out he had run all the way from the hotel foyer.

"A car just pulled up. Carter Patuto is coming here." So, it was Patuto - Emmett had never even suspected him. He always seemed like the quiet and content one, although, he realised, it was the quiet ones you had to watch, and for good reason. He could still feel the pain around his heart where the bullet had pushed the body armour into his chest. He had been lucky that day - Patuto would not be so.

Silence filled the room as Patuto entered the hall. Some camera flashes caught Emmett's eye, but Ubuloy assured him they were purely to minimalise suspicion. They would be collected at the end and burnt, along with any film they may contain. As the player sat down in front of the microphones, Emmett took a deep breath. And so it starts

***

"Tom?"

"Yeah, Cathy?"

"Have you got a pen I can borrow - I need to write a letter to the President."

"Why?"

"We're inviting him to take a tour of the headquarters, followed by a pleasant lunch of…something, I'm not quite sure. I'll make it up. Anyway, it needs to be personal, because Saakashvili likes it that way, and we need to keep him on our good side."

"Why? He's a pompous bastard!"

"He also funds us, so…"

"Fine…take this one here." Tom handed Cathy the pen he had been using - it wasn't working too well anyway. Cathy took it and made her way to her office. She made sure that the envelope with the ready-printed address was correct before she started to write.

***

"And those are my reasons. I'm just as much a part of this team as anybody else, and I think I should get the same fiscal recognition as anybody else too. If a 10% increase is too much, then obviously this organisation values money more than success on the pitch. That's all I've got to say." The 'press' rose their hands, each hoping that they'd be able to ask their question, but Patuto rose straight away and made his way to the exit. Ubuloy whispered a word in two of his bodyguards' ears (Emmett liked to call them Bert and Ernie), and they followed him out of the door. Ubuloy then shuffled over to Emmett.

"He's being taken to a secure room in the headquarters - get Tom ready to grill him."

"Thanks Qostaze. This has been a real help. We won't forget this, and if there's anything that we can give you in return, anything…except the thing that you really want." Ubuloy held his hands up to stop Emmett.

"Emmett, if my actions mean that our football team gains the success it deserves, then that is reward enough for me. Now go and get to the bottom of this. This is only the beginning of the string. You'll need to continue following it if you want to get to the ball." Emmett wasn't quite sure what Ubuloy was talking about, but was sure it was something deep and meaningful. He made himself scarce, and the 'press' eventually realised that the action was over, and that work was beckoning once more.

Ubuloy waited until they had all gone before making his way over to one of the cameras. He ejected the tape and put it into his jacket pocket. He then made his way round to the front of the camera and scratched off the black paint around one of the many LEDs to reveal a flickering green light. With a sly smile he turned the camera off, and left the mess for the cleaners to attend to.

Legalese

01-03-2005, 19:52

Shake-up in Francis Town

Mike Watson
Special to LSPN.com

It seems that only one thing will make Robbie Heard happy this time: qualification. After Legalese went 0-2-1 (OOC: this is the "americanized" version of 2 losses and 1 draw, bear with me) in their last three qualifying matches, Heard went ballistic. Then he decided to get younger, calling the u21 team in to train with the Senior Nationals.

The result? A few shakeups in the lineup. First was the retirement of three-time qualifying member Earl Smith. Then came the addition of four u21 players to the lineup. Kirk Wilson will be the team's third goalkeeper, and will at least travel, if not replace Tanner Studebaker on the bench. Defender Will Marx looks to get a little playing time during the first part of the second half of qualifiers, though he will do it from the bench. Michel Patterson should serve a similar role, only in the shaken-up midfield, as will Nat Owens up front.

The biggest change came with the addition of Pedro Vasquez. Vasquez, known as "el Toro" at the lower level, made a huge impact with the u21 side, despite their 0-3 record at the World Championships. His placement not only in the lineup, but as the starting center midfielder, should have an impact on the new-look Legalese side.

The new Legalese Lineup is as follows, with a 3-4-3 formation expected:

Keepers:
96 Mark Dasherson
00 Tanner Studebaker
69 Kirk Wilson

Backs:
4 Winslow Gergen
5 Ted Donaldson
3 Phil Templar
2 Will Marx
6 Stan Jorgenson
8 Dane Uote

Midfielders:
17 Julius Crail
10 Carlos Manachev
7 Mai Mij
23 Mox Cato
19 Icello Dicello
13 Kris Trewands
15 Michel Patterson
0 Pedro Vasquez

Forwards:
9 Jonny Lambert
12 Lance Masterson
11 Van Waert
14 Jack Smythe
16 Jules Shipton
21 Arturo Aubry
24 Nat Owens

Likely Starting XI:
96 Dasherson M -GK
3 Templar P - CB
2 Jorgenson S - LB
4 Gergen W - RB
10 Manachev C - CDM
7 Mij M - LM
0 Vazquez -CM
19 Cato M -RM
16 Shipton J -LF
11 Waert V -RF
9 Lambert J -CS

Lethislavania

01-03-2005, 21:58

MD7 has ended, scores coming soon.

Sarzonia

01-03-2005, 22:54

Stars keep heat on Crystils, 1-0

Playing against a dispirited and unintersted Everlasting Friendship national side that clearly didn't want to be there, the Sarzonian national team seemed to get caught in the same stupor that afflicted their opponents and played one of the worst matches they have played in the entire World Cup qualifying effort.

But goalkeeper Horace Sandt made five saves, making up for his backline's malaise and the Stars used an own goal to prevail over Everlasting Friendship 1-0. The win kept the Stars within one point of first place Crystilakere for the lead in Group 2 of World Cup qualifying with five matches remaining.

"We have to play better football," Coach Dave Wilson fumed after the match, looking for all the world like a coach whose team lost its match. "We can't sleepwalk through matches and expect to qualify. We keep doing it."

The Stars (5-2-0, 17 points) held a 47-43 advantage in time of possession, but turned the ball over 19 times. With forward Brian Wilson sitting out due to a red card, the 4-5-1 formation the Stars employed was more conservative than Dave Wilson wanted, but the coach said he had to account for the team's loss in its attack.

"I don't think Brian will make the same mistake he did against the Crystils," Dave Wilson said. "But we had to make do without him for one match." Dave Wilson said Brian would come off the players bench to start the second half of their next match. When asked if Dave Wilson was trying to send his son a message, the coach said, "perhaps."

"You can't get stupid red cards in the World Cup, you just can't," Brian Wilson said. "Lesson learned. It won't happen again."

Sonaron

01-03-2005, 23:02

Fireworks at Rhovani Stadium
Pride futility streak passes 500th minute
The fans packed Rhovani Stadium for the match versus Kylaai yesterday, hoping for an end to the problems that had plagued both the stadium and the team. For a while, it looked promising, with the Pride having several early chances. But the phenomenal play of Mandoo Nania, Kylaai's starting keeper, kept the Pride off the board. At half time, the Pride had dominated the match but were still tied at 0.

Unfortunately for Pride fans, the good news stopped at half. With temperatures rapidly approaching freezing, the stadium grounds crew turned on the underground heating system to keep the pitch from freezing. As play began the second half, Kylaai came out fired up, scoring in the forty-seventh and forty-ninth minutes to take control of the match. Both goals came as a result of bad passes from Samantha James, who looked a bit disoriented playing in her first international match. As the second half wore on, the pitch began to become increasingly soggy, as though some sort of moisture was leaking into it. A few fans in the front rows complained of a fuel-oil smell, although stadium officials gave no indication that anything was wrong. In the eighty-seventh minute, Kylaai scored again off a set piece, as Pride keeper Shana Robinson lost her footing trying to come out and challenge the corner-kick, leaving a wide open net for Kylaai. According to Pride officials, Robinson suffered no major injury and will start at Nova Britannicus.

Soon after the teams cleared the pitch, another problem with Rhovani Stadium burst into full view. Just a couple minutes after the whistle to denote full time, the pitch burst into flame, with tongues of fire shooting fifteen feet into the air and visible from Izlon, several miles from the stadium. It took emergency crews over three hours to fully subdue the blaze, with fire trucks coming from all over Sonaron to assist. Rhovani fire chief John Ralston issued a statement this morning, stating, "We have determined that the cause of the fire was a previously undetected defect with the warming system installed beneath the pitch. When it was activated, it began leaking some of its fuel out into the ground itself, saturating it. Somehow, a spark was transferred from the system into the leaked fuel, which ignited and proceeded to destroy the pitch. At this time, we cannot determine if the fire was deliberately set or an accident."

In a prepared statement released this morning, Coach Raizor said, "It's very unfortunate what has been happening at Rhovani... We're trying our best to provide our fans the best football we can, and these distractions keep cropping up. The destruction at the stadium has rendered it unusable for the duration of World Cup Qualifying. Hopefully our neighbors in the football community will be able to provide us a location to play our remaining home matches."

Pride (1-0-6 -12, 7th place) Schedule:
WC XXI Group 4
MD01: @ Kylaai (W 2-1)
MD02: v Nova Britannicus (L 0-1)
MD03: @ Audioslava (L 0-2)
MD04: v Haperd (L 0-2)
MD05: --REST DAY--
MD06: v Funny Looking Islands (L 0-2)
MD07: @ Oceaice (L 0-3)
MD08: v Kylaai (L 0-3)
MD09: @ Nova Britannicus
MD10: v Audioslava
MD11: @ Haperd
MD12: --REST DAY--
MD13: @ Funny Looking Islands
MD14: v Oceaice

Abysmalistan

01-03-2005, 23:19

The Abysmals would be glad to offer their national stadium for one match. It is located near the capital Abysmal City. 'The swamp', as it is called is basically a piece of swamp. About 500 people can stand around the pitch to see the worst Abysmal soccer. If you believe we fail to mess up by getting the provisional stands out of the han-hi-lan-ly swamp, the number could even be higher. WE believe since your team is as Abysmal as ours, this is a suitable location to lose.

Eeeeeep, president of the AbysmalFA

Gaian Ascendancy

01-03-2005, 23:27

~ Seraphim wings 'badly' clipped today ~

Group 10
Liamist States - Vilita 0-1
Gaian Ascendancy - Lovisa 0-5
Evalness - Oaker 1-3

Group 10 P W D L GF-GAPts
Lovisa 7 6 1 0 23-6 19
Vilita 7 5 2 0 17-6 17
Big Pimento 6 2 3 1 10-9 9
Oaker 7 3 0 4 9-10 9
Gaian Ascendancy 7 2 1 4 6-12 7
Liamist States 7 1 2 4 11-17 5
Evalness 7 0 1 6 4-20 1

GANN Sports Desk: ~ Where the first match was a barely veiled rout, this time it was a 'true' rout. The Ascendancy found out yet again their place, and their third place hopes took a major hit, losing 5 - 0 to a simply too powerful Lovisan national team.

The Gaian crowd was silent from the 7th minute on, as the Lovisan's controled the ball for over 72 percent of the match. Worse, Striker Ian Andersen was knocked out with a head blow to the ground while trying to stop an interception attempt, leaving their best striker, and the team out in the cold.

Goals came at the 7th, 23rd, 40th, 57th, and finally 60th minutes, with the Seraphim simply outclassed. Apparently the Evalness match, as well as the day off, gave the team too much confidence, and they got it really handed to them today.

After, Coach Kerensky had this to say at the team conference.

"Look. There come times when nothing you can do can prepare you for things like this. They just wiped the floor with us, and we have to live with it and move on.

We thought we would be ready, and we just weren't. Not sure why, it just didn't happen for us.

Andersen will be fine for tomorrow, but he took a good lick for the team. In fact, despite what happened, we haven't given anything up yet. Lovisa is simply a world class team, and we still are looking to get just to 'tree top' class. Tomorrow is another day."

---

Given the matches with Lovisa, and the match against Vilita, things look uncertain with the match tomorrow with Vilita, but still the team is determined to show up and prove something.

There's also a sense of urgency, but not panic, as they have to at least try to tie Vilita to get a more realistic chance for third place. If they lose this one like todays match, a literal outright miracle of angelic proportions will be required to reach third.

Line up for Vilita rematch:
--------

Keeper: (Home Guard)
GK: Kelse Howe

Defenders: (Shield)
RD: Lincon Dinor
LD: Julian Masaki
CD: Xan Tsgen

Midfielders: (Armor)
LM: Fasha Clark
RM: Eros Maine
CFM: Russel Issac
CRM: Pryde Tamara

Strikers: (Sword)
LF: Sean Masaki
RF: N`Buta Kerensky
CF: Ian Andersen

Bedistan

02-03-2005, 00:54

New BFA president Sam Bacon and new vice-president Omario Gestio are conversing about today's match.

"Damn! I'd have thought all that suspicion surrounding their team would've deflated their morale and made them play poorly."

"No is suspicion around the team Bedistani."

"I said their, you idiot. Meaning South Osettia."

"Played well South Osettia?"

"Yes. They beat us two-one."

"We lost?"

"That's what I said."

"Sorry, no you understand well."

"Um...what?"

"I no you understand."

*sigh* "What the devil was the Association thinking by giving me a bloody non-English-speaking Tingitanan as my VP? It's no wonder we lost today. You were in charge of sending orders to the team manager."

"In what was I? And no am bloody." Gestio examines his clothing, looking for traces of blood.

"Never mind. Just never mind."

Chicanada

02-03-2005, 01:03

InterCanton Press

Kodiaks Continue Points Streak In Getting A Tie

Chicanada [3] [3] Starblaydia
Klerington (2) (12) Lyku-Agbayani (-) (14)
Pullman (1) (39) Del Blanco (-) (45)
Pullman (-) (70) Lyku-Agbayani (-) (63)

Cana:

Rain made for both a wet field and some interesting play in Cana, as Chicanada and Starblaydia fought to a sloppy 3-3 tie.

The new TroutCo field was filled to capacity for the match, which also was treated as the corination of the stadium, and fans were certainly not disappointed with the play, even if some had hoped for a more positive result.

In the First Half, Samuel Klerington took a clear shot past Starlaydia Goalkeep's Markus Cragg to give the home squad a 1-0 lead in the twelth minute. Foreward Syku Lyku-Agbayani made it an equal game for Starblaydia two minutes later off a fast break after a bizare collapse of the Chicanadan defense. Kodiak reservist Jorden Pullman helped put Chicanada back on top in the thirty-nineth minute after a header from Jude Westington. However, the lead was shortlived as Starblaydia reserve foreward Marco Del Blanco scored off a penalty kick in injury time.

Lyku-Agbayani scored again in the sixty-third minute after pulling a little trickeroo on Defender Loeb Noemi and Starblaydia looked to be going to victory. However, Pullman tied the match again after a corner kick from Timon Glendell, who was making his first start. As the final minutes ticked down, the field became more damp from remaining drizzle. Thankfully, there were no injuries to report as both teams were notified about the stormfront that keeps cycling the Southern Coast.

Even with the tie, Melmond's 1-0 victory over Allanea pushed the Kodiaks back to fourth place based on goal differential.

The Kodiaks fly off to meet Nonesuch Street at the Relatively Large Arena in Time Dilation City. The match is scheduled for 2000 CST and will be carried live by Canal4, CityEast and Northern. Most football pitches will be open after CFF play to show the game live.

Group 6 P W D L GF-GA Pts
Starblaydia 7 5 1 1 20-6 16
Hiiraan 7 4 1 2 14-8 13
Melmond 7 3 2 2 12-8 11
Chicanada 7 3 2 2 14-13 11
Nonesuch Street 6 3 1 2 9-13 10
Rittarstan 7 1 1 5 6-17 4
Allanea 7 1 0 6 2-12 3

The official schedule for Chicanada Qualifying
(Venues listed if known)

MD01 @ Starblaydia (L 1-2)
MD02 v Nonesuch Street (L 2-3)
MD03 @ Hiiraan (W 2-1)
MD04 v Melmond (T 2-2)
MD05 v Allanea (W 2-1)
MD06 -
MD07 v Rittarstan (W 2-1)
MD08 v Starblaydia (T 3-3)
MD09 @ Nonesuch Street (Relatively Large Arena, Time Dilation City, Nonesuch St.)
MD10 v Hiiraan (Easten National Arena, Eastentown)
MD11 @ Melmond (Anachronism Park, Cali, Melmond)
MD12 @ Allanea
MD13 -
MD14 @ Rittarstan

Talzeckia

02-03-2005, 01:19

Eauz can't rain on Tides home parade

Constantine -- Talzeckia's national football team hasn't had many moments to cheer about in the team's five year history. With a combined record of five wins, three draws and 12 losses, Tides supporters have shed more tears of pain than of joy. But one such joyous moment came as the Tides parlayed a sold out Colonial Park crowd into a "defining win," beating Eauz 1-0.

"This ranks right up there with our win over Kaze Progressa," Coach Avid Mashoda said, comparing the team's win with arguably the biggest shocker of World Cup XX qualifying. "We're out to show the world that we ain't finished yet." Mashoda referred to a quote from the Sjwitz media that said they and the Tides were all but eliminated from World Cup finals contention.

A team source said that quote was on the team's locker room wall as soon as it appeared in Talzecki papers. Since then, the Tides have won two of three matches and earned a draw against Sjwitz that started the modest unbeaten run. The win brought the Tides to seven points, just four behind third place Commerce Heights. Eauz dropped a full six points behind The Eagles Nest for first place in the group and is only four points clear of Commerce Heights for the second automatic berth.

"We're not out there to get revenge on them," goalkeeper Nick Reynolds said. "They're doing what they're paid to do. We're just trying to do what we're paid to do and that's win football matches."

The Tides scored the only goal of the match thanks to a long ball from Reynolds that found the boot of Rock, the team's enigmatic forward. He trapped the ball and, using ball skills worthy of Alan Belmore in his prime, dribbled past a stunned Eauzian defence to send a one time bid onto the forehead of Kevin Wanadoo. The other Talzecki forward cooly beat the Eauzian goalkeeper one-time to give the Tides the lead heading into the locker room at the end of the first half.

Eauz played like a team desperate to salvage at least one point from a match against a decided underdog and made two offensive substitutions. But neither player could dent the net behind Reynolds and the Tides celebrated on the pitch as soon as the Druidan referee signalled the end of the match.

"We've got a little bit of fight left in us yet," Rock said. "It ain't over 'till the fat lady sings and she ain't done warming up yet."

Krytenia

02-03-2005, 01:41

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Super Caley Go Ballistic - D2R Atrocious!

FORMER world number ones, my eye. Dance 2 Revolutin had no answer for the purring Krytenian midfield machine, as the Caledonians collected a much-needed victory on the road, winning by three goals to one. They then topped it off with a hard-fought three points, again on the road, this time against newcomers Krakatou by the only goal.

The victories mean that Krytenia have hauled themselves back into the top three in the table, however with no game on Matchday Nine, they'll be hoping other results go their way.

Dance 2 Revolution - 1
Rayki 88

Krytenia - 3
Xousa 30
Neasden 42
Persson 66

Krakatou - 0

Krytenia - 1
Neasden 71

QUALIFYING SCORERS
P. Neasden - 5
K. Xousa - 3
D. Van Staveren - 2
T. Goodley - 1
S. Persson - 1

QUALIFYING - GROUP 7
H v Krakatou - W 4-0
-BYE-
H v Kipto-Mare - L 1-2
A v Anarquistan - L 0-1
H v Spurland - L 1-2
H v Spaam - W 2-1
H v Dance 2 Revolution - W 3-1
A v Krakatou - W 1-0
-BYE-
A v Kipto-Mare - ?????
H v Anarquistan - ?????
A v Spurland - ?????
A v Spaam - ?????
A v Dance 2 Revolution - ?????

Vilita

02-03-2005, 02:00

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif
Sub-le Tonic Sinks Oaker
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
Vilita Goalscorers::
83' Sublé Tonic
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

-------------------Second Half substitute Sublé Tonic netted just his 3rd career World Cup Qualifying tally to give Vilita all 3 points against Oaker and keep themselves in the hunt for the top spot in Group 10. Vilita are currently Unbeaten, along with Lovisa, who have a superior goal differential. There is currently a controversy within the group as to whether the results against Big Pimento will be counted in the final table. The Vilitan delegation is calling for all matches against the Pimentan side to be expunged, due to the side breaking protocol by failing to renew their membership in the organization.

-------------------The Local Nation of Marligantis has agreed to fill in for the Pimentans in all matches, with the exception of the 3rd when they are scheduled to play Bedistan. The Nation of Vilita has agreed to send it's Under 20 team, should no other team be found for the match on the third.

Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Jaloey Afrikka
Worst Player: Ricky Ezis
Shots on Target: 3
Corner Kicks: 5

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif
Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Niccoló Mazzeo, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [D] Ricky Ezis, [DMC] Jürgen Ramzi, [ML] Inaki Soler, [MC] Santo Kecker, [MC] Maurizio Sala, [MR] Tanner Nerni, [FC] Serge DuPont, [FC] Callum Banda,
BENCH::
[FC] Riccardo Appolloni, [FC] Carmine Mbidzo, [M] Sublé Tonic, [M] Antonis Siazzu, [U] Jacques Vintila, [D] Sibusiso Azaïez, [GK] Manolis Masi,

Vilita Substitutions::
(61) - Maurizio Sala >>> Carmine Mbidzo
(66) - Tanner Nerni >>> Sublé Tonic

Audioslavia

02-03-2005, 03:51

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Super Caley Go Ballistic - D2R Atrocious!

OOC: May i be the first to say: 'wahay!' :D

IC:

Oceiced As 'Slaves Find Form
Romanov stumbles on most potent formation yet

Audioslavia, 3-6-1
-------------------------------
| 1 |
| Andersson |
| |
| 6 5 3 |
| Ceulemans Johnstone Carel |
| |
| 4 |
| Crevan |
| 2 19 |
| Rijsbergen 8 Jeroen |
| Oskari |
| 14 11 |
|Araxie Jansen|
| |
| 9 |
| McLlroy |
-------------------------------

Six in midfield? Despite Audioslavia's shortcomings in the middle of the park against Kylaai, many were sceptical about Romanov's decision to flood it in the return game at Oceaice. However, a strong performance and a much-needed 3-1 away win may have just proved Romanov's worth as coach.

Karayan Araxie, Killian Rijsbergen and Jussi Oskari were all recalled for the game, with no place for fallen idol Ally Marriot. Jansen and Araxie played the role of attacking wingers, with Oskari, Jeroen and Rijsbergen all supporting McLlroy for the wingers' crosses. Not that he needed much help, McLlroy won the aerial battle in the box on many occasions, the best of which culminating in the first goal as he leapt above the Oceaice centre-half and powered the ball low to the keeper's left for 1-0.

The 'slaves entered the break two goals to the good after a McLlroy penalty, but fell under pressure in the early stages of the second half, with Oceaice pulling a goal back through the number nine on seventy-one minutes. The goal sparked more Oceaice attacks, but Jansen was on call to kickstart another lethal counter-attack just after eighty minutes, the winger feeding Jussi Oskari through for the number eight to score.

FINAL SCORE
OCEAICE 1 (some dude 71)
AUDIOSLAVIA 3 (McLlroy 19, 36. Oskari 82)

Group 4 P W D L GF-GAPts
Nova Britannicus 7 4 2 1 13-3 14
Audioslavia 7 4 1 2 13-8 13
Kylaai 7 3 3 1 12-5 12
Oceaice 7 4 0 3 9-9 12
Haperd 6 3 1 2 6-5 10
Funny Looking Islands 7 1 1 5 3-14 4
Sonaron 7 1 0 6 2-14 3

The result keeps Audioslavia a notch ahead of the pack on thirteen points, but Kylaai's and Oceaice's close proximity will keep them under pressure going into the games against Funny Looking Islands and Sonaron, where two wins are vital to the 'slaves qualification in terms of racking the points up and in terms of the confidence of the team. Audioslavia will be looking to go undefeated for the remaining part of the campaign to go into the world cup with at least some hope of making a challenge.

G'nite bitches.

Praying2God

02-03-2005, 06:27

LGP: "Praying2God look good to me, they still haven't really got going, if they hit full pelt, they'll ease into third place and, surprisingly for a nation who've been in and out of the game as long as Druid nations have, if they made it, it would be their first finals appearance."

OOC: The rest of Group 3 can now rest easy...here is the confirmation that I'm not going to qualify. :(

Squornshelous

02-03-2005, 06:46

Pschychoes shaky, but pulling away

Squornshelous smashing defeat of TBF and a draw with FCN keep them well ahead of the competition
Squornshelous added only 4 points to their total over matchdays 7 and 8, but moved further ahead of second place Iansisle by 3. We now have a commanding 5 point lead over Iansisle and an 8 point lead over The next three contenders. One of those three, surprisingly enough, is Bryn Shander, who the Pschychoes play next. This team has taken advantage of every opporutnity thrown its way and managed to jump up ahead of TBF, who are playing dismally. While it's sad to see a storied side like TBF wallow in the muck, a new talent like Bryn Shander doesn't come along every day. However, all pleasantries aside, Squornshelous should be able to handle Bryn Shander easily. Last time the teams played, it was a defensive battle with Squornshelous getting the one goal to win the game. We think that the Pschychoes newfound attack will make things very dificult for the Bryn Shander goalkeeper. Look for a score of 3-0 to when all's said and done here.

Final Scores:
Squornshelous 5-2 The Belmore Family
Squornshelous 1-1 Five Civilized Nations

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Gerrard: 5
Zikov: 3
Arnesson: 3
Popov: 2
Neese: 1

Group 5 Standings after matchday 8:

Group 5 P W D L GF-GAPts
Squornshelous 7 5 2 0 14-4 17
Iansisle 7 3 3 1 11-5 12
Fmjphoenix 6 2 3 1 11-9 9
Five Civilized Nations 7 2 3 2 9-8 9
Bryn Shander 7 3 0 4 9-9 9
The Belmore Family 7 1 3 3 8-15 6
Nifty nick 7 0 2 5 2-14 2

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins draws losses byes

MD01: Squornshelous 2-0 Five Civilized Nations
MD02: Bryn Shander 0-1 Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous 2-0 Nifty nick
MD04: Bye
MD05: Squornshelous 0-0 Iansisle
MD06: Fmjphoenix 1-3 Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous 5-2 The Belmore Family
MD08: Five Civilized Nations 1-1 Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous v Bryn Shander
MD10: Nifty nick v Squornshelous
MD11: Bye
MD12: Iansisle v Squornshelous
MD13: Squornshelous v Fmjphoenix
MD14: The Belmore Family v Squornshelous

Home: 3-1-0
Away: 2-1-0
Overall: 5-2-0

Gaian Ascendancy

02-03-2005, 08:42

((OC- Might as well rp the reaction from our squad about the Pimento mess. ))
----

GANN Sports Desk: ~ Shocking news was confirmed that the Big Pimento team has withdrawn from the World Cup for unknown reasons. As a result, though not official as yet, the Pimento matches and the resultant results are null and void.

This also means that the point the Gaian's earned in drawing Pimento was also taken away, which drew some sharp critizism.

But Coach Kerensky only made this statement at Archonia StarPort as they were about to leave for Vilita for the very important match with them.

"As far as we know, you knw as much as we do. But we consider the Pimento withdrawl disconcerting, as this is apparently the second such withdrawl by a World Cup team in just over a week.

..we reserve judgement on Pimento's actions, and hope they will return someday. As for us, we'll deal with the sudden void with Pimento after the Vilita match. We will also reserve judgement on our lost Cup point, our first of the Cup I might add, for 'after' the World Cup tourney.

Now if will excuse me."

--

News Desk: ~ Soon after the Gaian Team Shuttle lifted off, the Gaian Council attempted to reach the Big Pimento nation, but word is contact failed. Why we cannot ascertain, nor look upon with nothing but concern and sadness.

The official statement of the Ascendancy Council is of a moment of mourning for the unknown situation concerning the Pimento and their nation. They also added that any refugees from Pimento will be welcome upon any of the Republic's worlds.

Liverpool England

02-03-2005, 09:18

OOC: THIS RP IS DEDICATED TO A REGION-MATE IN THE HEARTLAND AND A CLOSE FRIEND WHO DIED IRL RECENTLY.... Condolences can be expressed on The Heartland boards (http://invisionfree.com/forums/The_Heartland/index.php?showtopic=3200) after registering....

Andrew aka Merinov..... Rest in peace.

OOC2: This is by no means a quality RP, or even a long one, as I'm really speechless right now.

IC:

Ring, ring!

"Gareth Dussis speaking, this is?"

"Mr. Dussis... Marc Newell, Prime Minister."

"Mr. Premier! Oh, what can I do for you today!?"

"I need your boys to wear black armbands for the rest of the tournament."

"Whatever for?"

"We've just received some bad news....."

"Oh, no... what is it?"

"Merinov... our neighbour.... well, their ruler, Rhuld Marcus, passed away in a car accident two days ago... news has only just reached us from the Embassy in Merinov, considering they're in isolation... this is a deep tragedy to us; I've already ordered the national flag to fly at half-mast for two months..."

"No ****," the voice, chocking up, said.

"Yes ****, Gareth... I know it's a tremendous blow consider our relations with them (Liverpool England even chose to play a WC7Q home game in Merinov).... I'll leave you alone now to pass on the word."

Terminators to wear black armbands for rest of campaign
Close ally's leader dies, nation in mourning

The Prime Minister of Liverpool England has ordered for the Terminators to play all their remaining matches in WC21, including the finals, wearing black armbands after word was received that a tragic traffic accident had claimed the life of their close ally and geographical neighbour, Merinov's leader.

The Terminators are understod to be upset, however, they will not forfeit a match unlike when Sir Jim White died in WC13Q.

Liverpool England next play South Osettia.

Antaeus Rising

02-03-2005, 09:19

Antaens keeping up with the Joneseses

If you said Antaeus Rising to a random World Cup fan they would go "huh?"

If you asked them to spell Antaeus Rising they would grossly misspell it.

If you asked an EL CID fan how they got their asses handed to them last night they would scream at you incomprehensible.

The Antaen national team may not be as famous or unbelievable excellent as the Insanicians, but they have the heart to go all the way to the finals.

Group 1 P W D L GF-GAPts
EL CID THE HERO 7 5 0 2 14-6 15
Jeruselem 7 4 2 1 12-8 14
Antaeus Rising 7 3 2 2 11-9 11
One Red Dot 7 3 2 2 7-6 11
Lykaia 6 2 2 2 10-8 8
Krazie 7 2 2 3 11-17 8
Danieljoh 7 0 0 7 5-16 0

Lykaia are up next in 2 weeks. A lost would surely spell disaster and end any hope of automatic qualification. One Red Dot are sure to knock Krazie out of the race for third, with EL CID recovering from their devastating loss to the Antaens, to knock Danieljoh for 6.

Liamist States

02-03-2005, 09:57

First Time Ever: Marmadukes Held Goalless
Loss Not Surprising
Ted Wehling, Liamist States Times

Readers, I’m seriously sick of writing match reports for games we lose. Honest to Liam, its no fun. It’s also no fun being reduced to over half the article space for these reports since the Marmadukes stopped performing well. We did, however, lose by only a goal to the number two team in the world, which is how many Marmaduketeers expected the team to start playing. Final score: Vilita 1, Liamist States 0. If only we started playing like this, we would have been fine.

Playing in front of the five people who weren’t so disappointed as to give up on the Marmadukes (except for yours truly) in City de Liam, the stadium designed for 120 000 fans looked somewhat empty. Buoyed by today’s ok result, many fans are expected to return for the next home match against Oaker in Gradburg.

We here at LSMC are rather off put by news that the nation of Big Pimento has vanished. While this is a fairly common occurrence in our world, it doesn’t usually happen to teams who are participating in an international competition. The WCCC has convened an open doors meeting and are currently considering their options. The next match against Big P may not go ahead. This slightly increases our qualification chances and greatly increases Gaian Ascendancy’s. Go GA!

Our embedded reporters didn’t even bother asking for a press conference today.

Jeruselem

02-03-2005, 13:54

Jeruselem Government News

It's Krazie times!

Match day 8 and all we can say is things are Krazie in Group 1.

EL CID THE HERO lost another game. You heard it here, Antaeus Rising beat the top dog 2-1 in an upset to leave any Spaniad crying. We really did want El Cid in win, but they didn't.

One Red Dot beat Danieljoh 1-0 but it was less than a convincing win. However it's still three points to the dot and they needed it.

Jeruselem met some Krazie people and came home with a disappointing draw. The score was 1 ALL but Krazie has shown it can play in the big time despite an abmismal defensive record worse than Danieljoh. Jeruselem really should have won and could have lead the group if they did.

Lykaia had the bye and it didn't help them much.

One look at the table, and everyone has two draws except El Cid and Danieljoh. Oddly, Jeruselem has the least number of losses.

Group 1
Antaeus Rising - EL CID THE HERO 2-1
Danieljoh - One Red Dot 0-1
Krazie - Jeruselem 1-1

Group 1 P W D L GF-GAPts
EL CID THE HERO 7 5 0 2 14-6 15
Jeruselem 7 4 2 1 12-8 14
Antaeus Rising 7 3 2 2 11-9 11
One Red Dot 7 3 2 2 7-6 11
Lykaia 6 2 2 2 10-8 8
Krazie 7 2 2 3 11-17 8
Danieljoh 7 0 0 7 5-16 0

Eauz

02-03-2005, 13:55

Yesterday, Les Bleus played the second half of the qualifying round, and were hoping to continue where they left off. Travelling to Talzeckia though proved to be a different story, as the fans became a major part to the mood of the team. One of the players said, “it was frustrating listening to them chant for long periods of time.” The Coach said that he hoped his team could have won this match, but things just didn’t turn out that way. Now that his team is on a two game losing streek, they will be looking bring an end to it, as they will face off against Sjwitz in two weeks. Sjwitz though has proven to be a competitive team, and has played well against Eauz. Les Bleus will be hoping to get their team back into fighting and order form.

The second half of the schedule looks fairly tough for Les Bleus, as many of their matches away are against the tougher teams in the group. Having started off fairly well, Les Bleus have a bit of room to make mistakes, but anymore mistakes, could find themselves sitting in the uncomfortable 3rd place position. Nonetheless, Coach Joseuf has expected to get his team ready for this tough schedule to come.

Group 9 P W D L GF-GAPts
The Eagles Nest 7 7 0 0 24-9 21
Eauz 7 5 0 2 12-6 15
Commerce Heights 7 3 2 2 11-7 11
Slaikau 6 2 2 2 10-9 8
Talzeckia 7 2 1 4 13-14 7
Gibberovia 7 1 1 5 5-20 4
Sjwitz 7 0 2 5 6-16 2

Match Day 1: Eauz vs. Talzeckia W 1 - 0
Match Day 2: Sjwitz vs. Eauz W 0 - 1
Match Day 3: Eauz vs. Gibberovia W 4 - 0
Match Day 4: Bye Period
Match Day 5: Eauz vs. Commerce Heights W 3 - 2
Match Day 6: Slaikau vs. Eauz W 1 - 2
Match Day 7: Eauz vs. The Eagles Nest L 1 - 2

Match Day 8: Talzeckia vs. Eauz L 1 - 0
Match Day 9: Eauz vs. Sjwitz
Match Day 10: Gibberovia vs. Eauz
Match Day 11: Bye Period
Match Day 12: Commerce Heights vs. Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz vs. Slaikau
Match Day 14:The Eagles Nest vs. Eauz

South Osettia

02-03-2005, 18:51

"Okay Patuto, it's time to start talking."

"If you think I'm gonna talk then you've got a screw loose."

"We know you were put up to this - who was it?" Tom had been going for over an hour by now, and Patuto was sticking rigidly to his policy of silence. Tom, however, now had the upper hand, and was about to play his trump card.

"You really think you're worth that much money to the team? There must be a dozen players better than you who earn less than that! Why don't you just tell us who set you up with this, and we can sort the whole thing out together." Patuto slammed his fist down on the metal table.

"I'm just as much a part of the team as anyone else. They need me, and if they want me, then they'd better pay out for me." Tom smiled - it was his turn to rake in the chips.

"Well, if they so desperately need you, explain this to me." He flicked the television in the corner of the room on. It had been preset to a Sports News channel and, of course, the only story at the moment was the historic 2-1 victory over Bedistan. "They beat Bedistan, Patuto. They're third in the group and have got a real shot of qualification. And they did it all without you. Still think you're worth that much to them? You're worth nothing, Patuto. If they can do that, who's to say they can't do it again, and again, and again…every time without you. We could ruin your international career right now; one phone call, and you're, shall we say, injured. Terrible too - it'll end your career. Alternatively, you could help us with our inquiries, and then you can go back to playing for your country…with the same pay as before, of course, and it'll do you just fine. So, Patuto, the choice is yours. What's it going to be?"

Patuto was defeated - Tom could see it in his eyes. He was on the verge of snapping, and his eyes were shifting around the room, looking for some brief respite. There was none.

"Okay…fine. I'll talk, but you've gotta promise me - "

"I'm not in the business of making promises, Patuto. I'm here to make sure this team stays on the rails. You've thrown a big plank of wood onto the tracks, and it's my job to shift it before the train reaches it. So…first thing's first…who called you?"

"He said his name was Costa Uboya."

"That much we know…anything else?"

"He said he was working for Graz SO."

"The oil company?"

"If that's what it is…he said that he'd noticed I was paid a lot less than other players who weren't as good as me, and that I deserved a whole lot more. He convinced me to go public, and said that he'd make it worth my while if I did."

"How would he do that?"

"He'd make sure I got a pay rise."

"How can he do that if he works for Graz SO? He'd have to be on the inside to even have minimal influence on wages." Patuto gave Tom a look - a look that chilled Tom to the very core. It was a look that said 'exactly'…

***

"Hugh?"

"Yeah, Cathy?"

"Do you know where Tom is?"

"He's interrogating Patuto. I think he'll be done within an hour or so. Why?"

"It's just that I borrowed a pen off of him to write a personalized letter to the President. I've just got this letter through the post. It asks, in rather colourful language, why I sent the President a blank piece of paper."

"Well…why did you?" Hugh was getting a little worried now.

"That's the whole point - I didn't! I wrote the letter, put it straight in the envelope and posted it. There was no way I made a mistake. I'm thinking that maybe it got mixed up in the post or something - there was just no way I sent him a blank piece of paper."

"Yeah…I don't think Tom's going to be able to help you here."

"Why's that?"

"It was my pen…well, when I say my pen, I mean - " Cathy was getting a little suspicious now.

"Hugh?"

"It was just a joke! You know, to get him back for getting me locked up for the night."

"You gave him a fake pen!"

"Well actually, it was a pen filled with bleach. The pen writes normally, but as soon as the bleach comes into contact with the air, it converts into other stuff, and the colour fades."

"Okay, not only is that the lamest joke ever, but it now means that the President is really mad at us, and I think that someone needs to get on the phone and apologise. I'm thinking…you!"

"Well technically, I slightly outrank you, so…"

"Well technically, if you don't, I'm going to pour the whole bottle of bleach down your throat, so…" Hugh got the point, and spent the rest of the day being shouted at by the President. He learnt a valuable lesson that day: don't play with bleach.

***

"We've got an insider."

"What?" Tom had called Emmett at home. Nobody ever called Emmett at home (he had made that clear from the start) and that meant only one thing - something was desperately up.

"Patuto told me it was an inside job."

"Does he know who?"

"No, he says that the culprit promised him a pay rise, and that's the sort of promise that only someone on the inside can make." A stream of words entered Emmett's head, all of which were four letters long and not words that he wanted his pregnant wife to hear.

"Alright…we've gotta find them, and get them out of there. God knows what stunt they could try to pull next."

"Exactly…but how're we going to do that?"

"Tom…I honestly don't have a clue." Emmett put the receiver down and swore.

Giant Zucchini

02-03-2005, 19:30

OOC: FINALLY, SOMEONE with a ROSTER…

IC:

Ranoso Hero Against Zucchinis

Jutar Ranoso singlehandedly dragged Turori back into the race to top the group tonight just as Giant Zucchini threatened to push Tadjikistan even closer to the finishing line.

Had it not been for Ranoso's late winner, Turori would have been trailing Tadjikistan by four points with time fast running out in their bold bid to catch the group leaders.

Ranoso, who had seen his seventh-minute opener cancelled out by a superb volley from Giant Zucchini's Gominsha 90 seconds after the restart, did well to give Turori the win.

He refused to let the visitors interrupt Turori's dogged chase of the leaders and, nine minutes from the end, delivered a blow which will have caused Giant Zucchini and Tadjikistan equal pain.

After cutting inside Mave with a magnificent first touch as he strode onto Nikki Inostraza's through-ball, Ranoso refused to panic as he charged into the area.

Instead, it was the Zucchini keeper Oshin who blinked first, losing his balance as Ranoso raced towards him. By the time the striker was ready to shoot, Oshin was on his backside and Ranoso simply rolled the ball past him.

Inostraza wasted little time in making his presence felt and the prolific striker was heavily involved in Ranoso's opener even though he did not actually touch the ball.

So desperate was the Zucchini skipper Badenfauer to snuff out Inostraza's threat when Jiateo Kansu-Ramzi swung over his right-wing cross that he leapt straight over the striker, flattening him completely, a move which totally backfired as the ball drifted over both of them and landed straight at Ranoso's feet.

With the swiftness of someone in red-hot form, the O’Conner Greens man swept home a first-time shot to launch what should have been a one-sided canter to victory.

But it did not materialise, partly because Turori inexplicably took their foot off the pedal and also because Giant Zucchini bravely refused to subside.

They should still have been two goals adrift by the break though as Ranoso delivered a superb far-post cross to Kansu-Ramzi, who teed up Martiia Vluka with a perfect lay-off.

For all his many talents, Vluka has not yet - unlike Ranoso - discovered the art of a clinical finish and could only balloon his volley high into the stands.

It was a miss which would come back to haunt them within 90 seconds of the restart. By that time Turori had lost Kansu-Ramzi to an ankle injury sustained in a heavy but legal challenge with Berisi.

Turori were still readjusting to the switch which saw Izzitra Bomai introduced and Malaino Mumamba slot into the vacant full-back berth when Gominsha struck.

Madorna had space to advance into the Turori half. He was eventually stopped but as the ball bobbled around, Raoibn Olioab could only knee it into Gominsha's path.

The Mato FC winger struck a quite magnificent volley, the curl off the outside of his right boot taking it well out of Milauo Slietah 's reach as the Cednia Beach keeper desperately tried to keep it out.

Final score:

Giant Zucchini - 1
Gominsha (47)

Turori - 2
Ranaso (8, 81)

Man of the Match: Jutar Ranaso

Fmjphoenix

02-03-2005, 20:38

Vikings practice hard for second half, intrasquad matches with under 21 squad as well

Dave Daniels scored his third goal against Powell Lamar in their fifth practice match of the week. The way he has progressed has convinced some people he should be called up to the senior squad. He may not be far off. Daniels, A Chacor native, but its Fmjphonecian and Charcorian, was brought into the Fmjphoenix Junior Vikings and has flourished in the FAF system. He quickly became the focus of the Vikings by week as the squad practiced hard for their upcoming run of matches that will decide who goes on to Cockbill Street and Lethislavania, and those who goes to the Cup of Harmony.

The Fmjphoenix under 21 squad was treated just as if they were all members of the full team, watching game film of the previous Five Civilized Nation's match to prepare for the match with them, having drafts between and playing with mismatched teams and providing different situations to get the team prepared for the stretch run. Under 21 coach George Rush spent time with James Wash, trying to find ways to challenge the team to gain qualifications for the first time. This is the Vikings fourth cup entry.

"I think they guys have worked hard and progressed during the practice this week. They are playing hard and should be ready to give this run a go. We are a much better second half team then first and we already are holding on to 3rd place. This will be a test and one I feel we are up to. We are going to go out there and give Five Civilized Nations all we got and try and keep 3rd to ourselves." Coach Wash said duing a practice.

Rejistania

02-03-2005, 21:31

In the ASR HQ in Sike kali, Rejistania after the match against Pterodactyl.

Teke Daran: Rej'he, I saw the match!

Siki Rej: (Arrives) Me too! (he tries to grin)

TD: I hope so, then please tell me why we drew against Pterodactyl!

SR: Because we scored as many goals as they did?

TD: Very funny...

SR: Very true.

TD: Tell me reasons for it...

SR: you are to blame!

TD: What?

SR: You said the System Karela will not get us through and we should change to a more attacking formation...

TD: Ve...

SR: So I reprogrammed the Hexatux to favor more attacking tactics.

TD: 'to favor more attacking tactics', you played System Takil, for the sake of all that is or may be holy!

SR: Yes, we did...

TD: But why?

SR: Hexatux said it...

TD: Come on, you programmed it! You know it!

SR: Because I felt han-hi-len-ly annoyed by you always telling me how to do stuff! Hadada su?

TD: I understood, but I have a reason for it. You are a xkora'ta'ny.

SR: Junis-Omeh did score, so why call us nonscorers?

TD: That's what all lehiju'ny call you.

SR: Indeed, lehiju'ny! 1:1... We could have secured the lead...

TD: okay, I will not meddle with your tactics as long as you secure success.

SR: Never meddle in the affairs of dragons.

Cockbill Street

02-03-2005, 21:34

Matchday 9 scores (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8339008&postcount=11) are up.

Streetian Football Moments, Number Four:

Eventually, it climaxed in a human (or, as the case may be, dwarf) pyramid built by 32 people, each dressed in the national colours of a particular country. On top, one dwarf in the yellow, white and red of Cockbill Street and another in the orange, white and blue of Rejistania lifted a copy of the World Cup into the air, and then threw it up into the air. The dwarfs quickly disassembled, running about randomly, and eventually the Cup landed in the "Rejistanian" hands - as to symbolise who currently had it.

The World Cup itself was drab for the Streetians, but to host it was special, and it was probably one of the most glamorous occasions of Streetian life in the past forty years. A low-tech, low-key arrangement, the height of it probably being a circus, it still showed that the Streetians could make a party, and through simple symbols, they managed to describe the cup well.

#8 1-0 win over Evisceratomatoes, World Cup 10
#7 2-1 win over Spaam, World Cup 14, qualifying for second round
#6 Stu Underwood, World Cup 19
#5 Lovisa debacle, World Cup 15
#4 Opening ceremony, World Cup 13
#3 ???
#2 ???
#1 ???

Praying2God

02-03-2005, 22:24

OOC- RL has been keeping me from RPing as much as I would like, so you're left with what I can manage to squeak in when I get a chance.

IC-

John Carlson (JC): Welcome to the House of Prayer, where the Warriors are ready to take on Giant Zucchini. The Warriors dominated the first match, but couldn't find the back of the net, and the match ended in a 0-0 draw. Both teams are trying to stay alive for qualifying for the WC XXI finals, and desperately need the three points that this match offers.

David Tall (DT): That's right, John. The Warriors are favored fairly heavily today, as they dominated the match in GZ. The question that remains to be answered is how will the Warriors come out after getting their lunch handed to them by Adam Island in their last match.

Lisa Simonson (LS): The Warriors team that we've seen so far during qualifying lacks the heart of the WC XX team. If they can find that team, they might be able to make a serious run at qualifying.

JC: The teams are on the field, and we're ready to get this match underway...

**whistle blows**

...GZ puts the ball in play, and we are underway...

**Halftime**

JC: We're at halftime of today's match between the Warriors and GZ, and neither team has managed to find the net yet. The Warriors have outshot GZ 9-1 so far, with the shots on goal being 3-0 in the Warriors' favor.

LS: This match has played out exactly like the first one, with the Warriors completely dominating the match. The problem is that the Warriors keep having problems finding the net.

DT: As long as they keep putting their shots on net, sooner or later one is going to find its way into the net. I don't know that there's ever been a pair of teams that have ever played a pair of 0-0 matches in qualifying in the same WC.

JC: We'll have our stats guy get on that one...We need to go to commercial now, but we'll be back in time for the start of the second half.

**90th minute**

JC: The Warriors are now outshooting GZ 15-2, but we're still tied 0-0 after almost 180 minutes of these teams going at it in these WC qualifiers...Warriors Head Coach has waved keeper Sarah Walker forward to provide the Warriors with an extra attacker...

LS: This brings back bad memories of the Warriors first qualifying match upon their return to WC action, when Jerusalem brought their goalie up...

JC: I don't think we need to remind Warriors fans of what happened in that match...

DT: But we should probably explain it to any soccer fans from outside of Praying2God that might be taking in this broadcast. Thomas Larson shot the ball from midfield to preserve the 0-0 tie, but the ball bounced into the net instead, giving the Warriors a 1-0 upset in Jerusalem.

JC: Getting back to today's match...GZ gains possession :eek: ...they're trying to clear it...the ball bounces right to Walker...she shoots from midfield...the ball flies towards the crowded box...the GZ keeper is having problems spotting the ball...the keeper makes a dive for it...it goes off the keeper's fingertips...AND INTO THE NET!!! :)

**whistle blows**

It's all over! The Warriors have knocked off Giant Zucchini on a last minute goal by keeper Sarah Walker!

LS: It's getting to the point where nothing surprises me at the end of Warriors matches, John. We've just about seen it all now.

DT: You certainly have to say that the Warriors have a flair for the dramatic. ;) It's surprising that teams seem to have problems figuring out that you need to put the Warriors away early, because if you let them hang around, they will generally find a way to earn points.

JC: That's all we have time for today. For David Tall and Lisa Simonson, I'm John Carlson. Have a good night, folks.

Kylaai

03-03-2005, 00:00

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kylaai.jpgThe Reformed Islands of Kylaai

Goalkeeper: Mandoo Nania
Defenders: Lital Tirar, Hito Burrito, Vito Frito, Max
Midfielders: Rising Sun, Macala Moria, Tennence Fleiam, Norada-Fell
Attackers: Mazu Kazu, Vlanti Vimorta

Kylaai fall behind but still optimistic

Kylaai did not play today, and dropped out of the top 3 in the standings when Nova Britannicus, Audioslavia and Haperd all got wins over the other teams. But Kylaai are still optimistic about their chances and are going to have to win over Nova Britannicus to get back into the top 3, and hopefully the top 2 and finally make it to the World Cup. Kylaai will have the advantage of playing the rest of the games in qualifying while Audioslavia and Nova Britannicus do not have to. Kylaai have only lost one game so far and did well to tie the best team in the world Audioslavia 1-1. But Kylaai have the same poitns as Oceaice who lose 4 games and are 4 points behind 2nd place which is Audioslavia. There are 5 more games for Kylaai to get back those points.

Group 4 P W D L GF-GAPts
Nova Britannicus 8 5 2 1 15-3 17
Audioslavia 8 5 1 2 14-8 16
--------------------------------------------
Haperd 7 4 1 2 9-6 13
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kylaai 7 3 3 1 12-5 12
Oceaice 8 4 0 4 10-12 12
Funny Looking Islands 8 1 1 6 3-15 4
Sonaron 8 1 0 7 2-16 3

Kylaai would like to thank the nation team Legalese. Kylaai are no longer a nudest nation even though they used to be and now wear clothes. Legalese has given Kylaai the clothes they will be wearing for the rest of the world cup, and here is a look at them. The sample is from team captain Norada-Fell.

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2005-2/961520/image001.gif

Chicanada

03-03-2005, 00:07

InterCanton Press

Kodiaks Let One Get Away in Nonesuch Street, But Stay In The Hunt

Nonesuch Street [1] [0] Chicanada
Boltsman (-) (86)

Time Dilation City, Nonesuch Street:

Well, they almost managed to keep a scoreless game.

Going scoreless for eighty-five minutes wasn't enough for the Kodiaks at Relatively Large Arena as L. Boltsman took a header past backup goalkeep Timonn Lisbon and Nonesuch Street sweeps Chicanada with a 1-0 victory.

Coming off a very successful 3-3 tie against Starblaydia the Kodiaks had a lot of hope of managing a point in the match. Captain Jude Westington, in a phone interview as the team returns to Cana, said "We played our hardest but we lost to a good team that had a better break than we did."

Overall Chicanada played by far their tightest game, attempting 17 shots on goal - a record for the team - and managing no major penalties. Lisbon blocked 11 attempts by Nonesuch until the lucky winner slid past his right leg with four minutes left in the match.

The loss slides Chicanada back to fifth in the region but not out of the race to make the final 32 just yet. They are only one win (three points) behind Melmond, who they play later this week, and two points behind Nonesuch and their opponent tommorow - Hiiraan, who will be looking to take out the Kodiaks after their 2-1 lost at home to the Kodiaks.

The Kodiaks play Hiiran tommorow at the brand new 64,000 seat Easten National Arena over in Eastentown. The match is scheduled for 4000 CST and will be carried live by CityEast, Northern and Channel 9. Most football pitches will be open after CFF play to show the game live as well as special viewing grounds in Eastentown for the final home qualifier for the Kodiaks.

Group 6 P W D L GF-GA Pts
Starblaydia 8 6 1 1 23-6 19
Melmond 8 4 2 2 14-8 14
Hiiraan 7 4 1 2 14-8 13
Nonesuch Street 7 4 1 2 10-13 13
Chicanada 8 3 2 3 14-14 11
Rittarstan 8 1 1 6 6-19 4
Allanea 8 1 0 7 2-15 3

The official schedule/results for Chicanada Qualifying

MD01 @ Starblaydia (L 1-2)
MD02 v Nonesuch Street (L 2-3)
MD03 @ Hiiraan (W 2-1)
MD04 v Melmond (T 2-2)
MD05 v Allanea (W 2-1)
MD06 -
MD07 v Rittarstan (W 2-1)
MD08 v Starblaydia (T 3-3)
MD09 @ Nonesuch Street (L 1-0)
MD10 v Hiiraan (Easten National Arena, Eastentown)
MD11 @ Melmond (Anachronism Park, Cali, Melmond)
MD12 @ Allanea
MD13 -
MD14 @ Rittarstan

Fmjphoenix

03-03-2005, 00:21

Vikings beat Five Civilized Nations in rough match, stay pumped up

Larry Brown is still not used to not being the main goalscorer. That doesn't mean he doesn't score goals at all still, as he produced the only goal in a very defensive match against a stong Five Civilized Nations squad, as the Vikings won 1-0.

Five Civilized Nations started out with the ball, and were very agreesive with it. They managed three attempts on goal within ten minutes, but Powell Lamar brought his 'A' game with him today, deflecting the first two shots before making a diving catch and rolling over up to his feet with the third. After clearing the ball out to Tra Miranda, it looked like Fmjphoenix would head out on the attack, but that did not happen, as a suprise slide challenge by midfielder Ma Xiong sent the ball loose and it was first got to by Yu Yan. But yet again, Lamar was playing his finest, deflecting another shot and catching another to remian clean after 20 minutes of playing. After a few more challenges by the aggresive FCN side, Fmjphoenix managed to get the ball past midfield after 25 minutes. Bobby Bash sent a pass up to Jason Mitchell, who crossed to Mike Nolan, who shot, but to no avail as FCN goalkeeper Li Xiang skillfully deflected the ball over the net, which set up a corner kick. After the failed kick, FCN attacked again, with Ma Xiong taking a hard shot that Lamar deflected to Wei Zeng. Even though time was running out in the first half, Coach Wash had his team play conservitivly and protect the ball from FCN and waited out the first half with the score showing 0-0. So far the match has been a great defensive effort, with neither team giving any goals up, but the FCN defenders and midfielders have made it all bu impossible for Fmjphoenix to get a shot off. They lead the Vikings in shots on target 7-2. It was shapping up to be a long day for the Vikings forwards.

Coach Wash decided to shake things up for the second half, having Jorge Mendel and Esteban Zeus sit to bring in Ryan Fremont and Quinten Bell to play a 4-42 formation and try and give the FCN attackers the same harrasment that was given to their own. It worked to start off to, as after a failed attempt by Carlos Santos, Bell was right there and took the ball away from Jonathon Cole and the Vikings looked revitalized and ready to roll. 20 minutes and four shots on target later, Lamar had just recorded his 10 stopped goal of the match. He cleared the ball to Fremont, who passed to Devin McBall. He ran into a little trouble in the form of defender Henri Lafayette, but managed to pass to Nolan. He and Brown continued forward. Cole and Shea Lancer came up on Nolan, who alertedly passed to Brown, who was left alone with Xiang. A quick move to the left and a shot fired right hooked out of Ziang's reach and the first goal of the match was recorded at the 78th minute. With the goal in tow, Wash switched his lineup around a bit more, brining in defensive forward Alex Rivera and Mendel back in for Nolan and Brown. Neither of them would take a shot, as the team held on to the ball for another good 10 minutes before FCN tried to make a late rally, but they came up short as the last shot by Yan was wide right by a large margin. The Vikings held on for a small 1-0 victory over a tough FCN side and earned three much needed points. Man of the match was awarded to Brown for his late goal that decided the match.

With the hard but well earned victory, Fmjphoenix still sits in third place with 12 points, only 3 points behind second place Iansisle. Squornshelous sits in first with 20 points and look well on their way to qualification. Five Civilized nations and the suprise challenge of the group, Bryn Shander sit tied for fourth on 9 points each. Bryn Shander is the Vikings next opponents, and are coming off of a bye, giving them more rest. The Vikings will have to play hard and keep up with the well rested team, but even though they are confident that they will win, they refuse to be blinded by it.

"I am looking forward to playing Bryn Shander again. I don't think it will be a givin win by any means, but we should be able to produce some results and give them a good tough match. I still believe we will win though, and plan on using all of my skills to bring another win home." Larry Brown said in post match interviews.

Fmjphoenix Qualification Run:
MD01: --Bye--
MD02: Fmjphoenix @ Five Civilized Nations Draw 2-2
MD03: Fmjphoenix vs Bryn Shander Win 1-0
MD04: Fmjphoenix @ Nifty Nick Win 4-1
MD05: Fmjphoenix @ The Belmore Family Draw 2-2
MD06: Fmjphoenix vs Squornshelous Lose 1-3
MD07: Fmjphoenix @ Iansisle Draw 1-1
MD08: --Bye--
MD09: Fmjphoenix vs Five Civilized Nations Win 1-0
MD10: Fmjphoenix @ Bryn Shander
MD11: Fmjphoenix vs Nifty Nick
MD12: Fmjphoenix vs The Belmore Family
MD13: Fmjphoenix @ Squornshelous
MD14: Fmjphoenix vs Iansisle
Record: 3-3-1

Bedistan

03-03-2005, 03:49

http://bellsouthpwp.net/h/a/harleyt_1387/bsd_banner.png
football

oli-very standard performance

SONOMA CITY -- The Green-Blues managed to successfully recover from last month's unexpected loss to South Osettia to defeat Oliverry 2-0 at home. Whoop-de-do. One-zero, two-zero, two-one. That's all that Bedistan has in its repertoire these days. Every match is pretty much exactly like the last. Why is this happening? We asked Dr. Syku Kansu, professor of Rejistanian at Kiúsagad University in Rhien-khien-a.

"Classic Rejistanian -- well, technically Karelian, though most people these days assume it to be true of all Rejistania -- this Karelian football is spreading throughout the world and gaining a foothold in places where it would not have been expected to go. It has taken strong root in Cockbill Street, a nation where System Karela used to be all but treasonous. And now the same is happening here in Bedistan. Yes, the players are arranged in a 3-4-3 formation, but at heart they're playing a 7-2-1. And that is why you no longer have the high-scoring games that most people like to think of as Bedistani football."

The local scientific community, without any confirmatory evidence at all, has created two new laws to explain this phenomenon.

Kansu's First Law, or the Law of Spreading Karelian Football: All nations that pride themselves on playing football in an attacking manner will eventually be overrun by the juggernaut that is System Karela, and will eventually be unable to score more than once every thirty minutes on average.

Kansu's Second Law, or the Law of New Karelian Football: In any nation where System Karela takes hold in accordance with Kansu's First Law, the following limitations are imposed on any competitive match involving that nation's national team:

At least one goal must be scored.
No more than three goals may be scored.
No more than two goals may be scored by any single team.

It is predicted that if any of these three limitations are broken, some great calamity will befall part or all of the offending national team(s).

We will, of course, keep you posted on the continuing developments of Kansu's Laws and whether they turn out to be valid in the case of Bedistan.

finalscore
Bedistan 2 (Vantrease 15, 74)
Oliverry 0

currentstandings
GROUP 8 P W D L GF GA GD Pts Qual POff
Bedistan 7 6 0 1 11 3 +8 18 3 1
Liverpool England 5 3 1 1 9 4 +5 10 11 9
The Weegies 6 2 2 2 8 8 0 8 -- 11
South Osettia 7 2 2 3 8 10 -2 8 -- --
Kaze Progressa 6 1 3 2 10 10 0 6 -- --
Oliverry 7 1 0 6 4 15 -11 3 -- --

Qual = points needed to qualify
POff = points needed to secure 3rd place (playoff slot)

nextmatch

Bedistan's next match is a friendly against Marligantis. It is expected to be a very light-hearted affair. Bedistan was originally scheduled to play Pubiconia next month, but that nation has ceased to exist.

sporting apathy at all-time high

HAMPTON -- The Greene University Sports Research Center in Hampton released its report yesterday on a study of sporting interest in Bedistan. The study shows that interest in sports, particularly international football, has been sharply declining for the past five years. Many chalk this up to the Bedistani national team's admittedly solid but nevertheless uninteresting performances over that time period. Apparently nobody wants to watch the Bedistani team consistently beat teams from Rejistania to Pubiconia by just a goal or two, regardless of the opposing team's actual skill level.

"The matches against some of the higher-ranked teams are still marginally interesting," said one Hampton resident, "but it's dead boring to watch the Green-Blues dumb themselves down to barely scrape by in what should be the easiest matches on the planet. It's no wonder they're never ready for the World Cup, and it's no wonder that we've failed sixteen times to win the Cup."

The GUSRC's report is expected to be released to the public next week.

Sjwitz

03-03-2005, 11:13

From the latest edition of the Daily NewSjwitz:

*Yawn*

'*Yawn*', is the average reaction nowadays towards the Sjwitz' results. People have grown used to the narrow but deserved losses of their national team. A 1-2 at home to Commerce Heights and a 3-1 in Eauz were the latest losses to be recorded. The team is now officially eliminated, chances of qualifying are immensely low with Sjwitz trailing 12 points of a qualification spot with only 12 more points to earn. So, why isn't the team just forfeiting its games anyway, we asked coach Schmidt: "Forfeiting? Yes well the point of these games is to gain as many points as we can get, we've got 2, those two will help us about as much as the 7 we got in the BoF, every point we get in this qualifying round is one that will help us during the next WCqual. Plus, I've got some surprises up my sleave"

Surprises you say? "Hehe, yes well most people don't know a lot about the team, only the fact that they keep losing, but if they did follow closely they would have noticed we've still got three homegames against the lower ranked teams in the group coming up. I honestly believe we could still end at 9 or 10 points and take 5th place or so in the group."

Ok well hopefully the people will get a bit more interested into the team then. For the next game against Slaikau only 45% of the tickets have been sold.

Sjwitz' Matches:

MD 1: Commerce Heights - Sjwitz 5-1
MD 2: Sjwitz - Eauz 0-1
MD 3: Slaikau - Sjwitz 1-1
MD 4: Sjwitz - The Eagles Nest 1-3
MD 5: Talzeckia - Sjwitz 2-2
MD 6: Gibberovia - Sjwitz 2-0
MD 7: --- bye ---
MD 8: Sjwitz - Commerce Heights 1-2
MD 9: Eauz - Sjwitz 3-1
MD 10: Sjwitz - Slaikau
MD 11: The Eagles Nest - Sjwitz
MD 12: Sjwitz - Talzeckia
MD 13: Sjwitz - Gibberovia
MD 14: --- bye ---

On MD 10 the matches in Group 9 will be:
Gibberovia vs Eauz
Talzeckia - The Eagles Nest
Sjwitz - Slaikau
Commerce Heights gets a day off.

Standings:

Group 9 P W D L GF-GA Pts
1. The Eagles Nest 7 7 0 0 24-9 21
2. Eauz 8 6 0 2 15-7 18
--------------------------------------------
3. Commerce Heights 8 4 2 2 14-7 14
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
4. Slaikau 7 2 3 2 11-10 9
5. Talzeckia 8 2 2 4 14-15 8
6. Gibberovia 8 1 1 6 5-23 4
7. Sjwitz 8 0 2 6 7-19 2

Jeruselem

03-03-2005, 13:37

AG: This is Anna Goldstein with David Becks to comment about the World Cup XXI results today
DB: Welcome viewers. As you know, Jeruselem had the bye on match day 9 so they'll be no highlights from the Jeruselem game today.

AG: Now David, Lykaia vs Antaeus Rising. 3 NIL to Lykaia?
DB: Lykaia aren't a bad team but I favoured Antaeus Rising to win today. Antaeus Rising are very erratic and Lykaia really did thump them. It was a good win

AG: El Cid back in the groove David? 2 NIL over Danieljoh and still on top.
DB: You can't put a good team down. El Cid wasn't at their best but they were in cruise control so it was a easy win but not convincing. They won and that's all that counts.

AG: One Red on the move. Krazie got hammered 5-1 and the dots are back it seems?
DB: Yes, those dots are moving the right direction. Krazie aren't completely incompetent but no defense with them. The dots did well and took all their chances. It's a good win but against a weak defense

AG: Let's look at the table. It looks more normal now. Jeruselem 3rd with the bye and some movers now.
DB: El Cid the top dog as normal, that's a gimme. One Red Dot back in the top 3 as they should be in 2nd. We're 3rd but we have the game in hand and no more byes for Jeruselem from now on.

AG: What about Lykaia and Antaeus Rising?
DB: It's tight with 3 points separating 2nd from 5th. Jeruselem need a few more wins as those two are real chances to make the top 3. Lykaia have a good defense compared to Antaeus. It's them I fear.

AG: And Krazie?
DB: No hope. Defense is so important and conceding 22 goals so far is not helping them.

AG: Danieljoh was eliminated, no surprises David:
DB: Not really. They'll learn. Remember Jeruselem's World Cup XI and we lost 13 of 14. Look at us now, it takes time to build a World Cup team.

AG: This is Anna Goldstein signing off for Jeruselem Sports News. Thanks to former World Cup coach David Becks for helping us out with analysis.
DB: We now shift programming to Inquisition Jerusalem and God bless all you out there.

Screen changes to tv series Inquisition Jerusalem promo.

Group 1
Lykaia - Antaeus Rising 3-0
EL CID THE HERO - Danieljoh 2-0
One Red Dot - Krazie 5-1

Group 1 P W D L GF-GAPts
EL CID THE HERO 8 6 0 2 16-6 18
One Red Dot 8 4 2 2 12-7 14
--------------------------------------------
Jeruselem 7 4 2 1 12-8 14
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Lykaia 7 3 2 2 13-8 11
Antaeus Rising 8 3 2 3 11-12 11
Krazie 8 2 2 4 12-22 8
Danieljoh 8 0 0 8 5-18 0 Eliminated

Giant Zucchini

03-03-2005, 13:42

Outstanding Oshin Overcome by Opposite Opponent

Giant Zucchini’s qualification hopes are getting slimmer and slimmer as Praying2God produced a stubborn display to earn all 3 points at the House of Prayer.

Nevertheless, Praying2God were left frustrated by a combination of poor finishing and fine goalkeeping from Dinamo Valdai's Oshin.

Amanda Tracy almost created an early opening for herself when latching onto a poor headed clearance some 25 yards out.

However, after knocking the ball past Mave, the Praying2God striker then theatrically went to ground - and could count herself fortunate not to be cautioned by the referee.

Giant Zucchini were not without their attacking threat, particularly through Mato FC man Gominsha, the tenacious midfielder causing plenty of concern for the Praying2God backline with his turn of pace.

As the quarter-hour mark approached, the match was still devoid of a clear-cut chance at either end of the pitch.

Praying2God defender Christine Holly was busy, though, when twice making telling blocks in the 17th minute. First the centre-half charged down Madorna's pot-shot at point-blank range on the edge of the box, before cutting out Gominsha' low centre after the Giant Zucchini midfielder had twisted past two markers on the right flank.

Praying2God, though, should have been ahead soon after. Kevin Faith found enough space in the left-hand side of the area to test Oshin with a low drive. The Dinamo Valdai keeper got down well to parry, but spilled the ball.
However, Tracy could not turn it in from no more than a yard out, somehow stabbing her shot wide.

Oshin then tipped a header from Thomas Larson over and also stood up block Tracy's angled drive as they stepped up the pace.

The Giant Zucchini goal was leading a charmed life, in the 38th minute Kryff somehow scrambled Luke Royal's header off the line.

There was a scare for the hosts five minutes after the start of the second half. A high clearance towards the Praying2God box was not dealt with, and Sharleston seized on the loose ball, drilling a shot across Walker's goal and only a few feet wide of the far post.

In the 54th minute Praying2God went close again with Tracy feeding Faith into the left edge of the box. His low centre flew across the six-yard line, and just eluded Kelly Carter's out-stretched boot at the far post.

The Praying2God physio then had to contend with two cut lips, Holly needing treatment following a clash with Sharleston and Walker after collecting the ball at Perles' feet.

With 20 minutes left, Kryff pulled back Faith right on the edge of the Giant Zucchini box, and was promptly cautioned.

Tempers threatened to boil over as the free-kick was set-up, Sarnos and Gore exchanging unpleasantries.

The eventual strike from Nelson was struck well enough, but again Oshin thwarted Praying2God with a fine reaction block.

Eventually, Oshin was beaten in stoppage time by a stunning strike from Praying2God goalkeeper Walker from far out, Oshin getting a touch but unable to prevent the goal. The goal gives Praying2God a vital win, but drags the Zucchinis down the group, and possibly out of qualification.

Final score:

Praying2God - 1
Walker (90)

Giant Zucchini - 0

Man of the Match: Oshin

Druida

03-03-2005, 14:35

The Daily Druid

THAT'S ENOUGH!
Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po on Naglegrad 1 Druida 0

Embarrasing, that's what it was. After only the second home defeat to a lower ranked team at The Hole in twenty-two games, one of the most shameful performances in Druid football history. After going so well up until the Oddslavo game, what's gone wrong?

Well, a lot of the blame after the match went onto the shoulders of Trevor Law and Rhys Owens, the most experienced players on the team. Quite simply, while Max Chilvers has been doing the business for the team, he hasn't had much help from the two old timers.

And so this otherwise fine performance against a less than fantastic team was let down by the attacking play. But surely Druid football has seen worse times. Let's take a look at how bad we've been before looking through the archives...

5) Druida 0-4 The Latin Union (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7243917&postcount=91), Pre-World Cup XVIII Baptism of Fire tournament, Vilita.

All had been going well for the newly fledged rainbows up until this point. A 4-0 thrashing of Arjastan was followed up with a draw with Smoking Pits, meaning that a draw with the Latins would as good as send us through.

It didn't happen. The Druidan Fashion Police, present to protect members of the public from the hideous brown striped Druida home shirts, played disguised as the normal players. And embarrasement was brought upon us all. Well, all of us who lived in Druida at the time...

4) Iansisle 6-1 NEWI Cefn Druids (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=5867501&postcount=52), Cup of Harmony III, Brazillico.

Druidan football was the talking point of the world at this point. Not because they were any good, but because they didn't win a single game during their debut qualifying campaign. Of course, they scored more points than some other teams due to an unusually high percentage of draws, but that elusive first win just wouldn't come.

It definately didn't look like coming here. With a rift forming between the players and their fraudulent manager Trevor Stevens, this less than incapable performance against the Ians just about did it for Simon Greaves, who walked out on the team after the match. More would follow during the tournament, too.

3) Naglegrad 1-0 Druida, World Cup XXI qualifying, Naglegrad.

You just read about the latest crisis in the Druidan game. So let's raise a glass to the two performances that were actually worse than it, eh?

2) NEWI Cefn Druids 1-2 Zampha, The Eagle's Cup II, The Eagles Nest.

The Druids went into the second Eagle's Cup on the back of their best qualifying performance yet, having avoided bottom spot in their World Cup 13 group. However, only a shock win against Kingsford would brighten up our day.

This shambles against a place I'd never heard of before and haven't heard of since really did take the biscuit, though. So bad, even the Druidish reporters of the time couldn't be bothered to turn up. A young substitute by the name of Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po scored the consolation late on.

1) Athamasha 4-0 NEWI Cefn Druids (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=5799382&postcount=354), World Cup XI Qualifying, Athamasha.

To be honest, we could have picked about 80% of the Druids' games from their first ten years or so, but we'd have been all day. Only the worst two have made it onto the list, and this was the worst of the lot.

After getting thrashed 4-0 in Tanah Burung, the Druids were starting to show a bit of promise, earning three draws in a row, including a 0-0 in Bedistan (so that's why they deny WC11 ever happened). Then came this. The most humiliating of the lot. It still pains many Druids fans who remember this to even hear about it. Indeed, for anything else that Athamasha may do in the World, all they are ever remembered for here is this. I'm crying, I've got to stop...

Before I go, the embarrasing eleven once again:

1. Edwards

19. Jones 5. Orange 6. Price 17. Peev

15. Ng 16. Walker 4. Mallon 11. Northfleet

24. Chilver 23. Owens

HAVE I GOT MUSE FOR YOU
Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po on Druida 4 Obsessed Muse Groupies 0

Get this - four youngsters in for more experienced players, and Druida are up and running again! The faith in Druidan youth that helped them win the Under-21 World Cup recently has now burst onto the world stage too!

OK, so a bunch of slightly desturbing groupies might not be the toughest of tests, but hey, they more than dealt with it! Indeed, apart from the new starting eleven, two more youngsters, Eric Tree and Iean Williams were also thrown into the fray later on for their first taste of the action.

It worked. Montenegro and Defnyddiwch, such a lethal partnership in the TnUI tournament, linked up as if they were linked somehow mentally. Indeed, when Defnyddiwch was later replaced by Max Chilvers, Montenegro sill seemed capable, but the link up play between the pair wasn't the same.

Which one's better? Who knows? Indeed, who cares? They're a pair, only to be broken up if they need to be. Trevor Belmore take note.

Final score:
Druida 4 [Montenegro 13, 67, Defnyddiwch 21, 63]
Obsessed Muse Groupies 0

Teams:
Druida - Edwards; Richards, Orange, Ellis, Peev; Ng, Walker (Williams 62), Mallon, Northfleet (Tree 62); Montenegro, Defnyddiwch (Chilver 70).
Obsessed Muse Groupies - Bellamy; Wolstenholme, Howard, Bellamy, Wolstenholme; Howard, Buckley, Wolstenholme, Howard; Bellamy, Wolstenholme.

Games so far...

Matchday 1: Druida 5-0 Naglegrad
Matchday 2: Obsessed Muse Groupies 0-3 Druida
Matchday 4: Ratvipa 1-5 Druida
Matchday 5: Total n Utter Insanity 1-2 Druida
Matchday 6: Oddslavo 2-2 Druida
Matchday 7: Druida 0-1 Finrods
Matchday 8: Naglegrad 1-0 Druida
Matchday 9: Druida 4-0 Obsessed Muse Groupies

...top scorers...

6 - Max Chilver
3 - Trevor Law
3 - Trefor Montenegro
3 - Trefor Defnyddiwch
2 - Dan Northfleet
2 - Rhys Owens
1 - Trevor Ng
1- Trevor Walker

...and still to come.

Matchday 11: Ratvipa (h)
Matchday 12: Total n Utter Insanity (h)
Matchday 13: Oddslavo (h)
Matchday 14: Finrods (a)

Druida

03-03-2005, 14:57

The Daily Druid

GREAVES OFFERS SJWITZ HELP
Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po reports.

We're not quite sure what exactly Simon Greaves has to do with the Druida Under-21 side anymore. His role as 'Director of Youth Football' basically seems to be a bit of a mystery to us all. Many people seem to think that he is actually the manager, but they use someone else as the official manager because President Smith enjoys sacking them. Others think that he was moved upstairs because someone thought, and rightly so, that the organ grinder now officially manager of the side was a capable manager. Druida winning the last tournament seems to give rise to this train of thought a little more than previously.

Whatever it was, Greaves has seen the plight of Sjwitz and associated with it. Greaves is now 60, and is one ofthe few surviving members of NEWI Cefn Druids' first ever World Cup Qualifying campaign back in World Cup 11. He was part of the team that made failure the new success.

"I really feel for the fans of Sjwitz," he told me exclusively. "The fans there did well at the Baptism of Fire, but now it's all gone downhill. Eight games without a victory can hurt anyone. But back then, we went eighteen without winning, something no-one else has even come close to matching. That experience meant that anything else we achieven=d in our careers would be good. And, in the end, it was."

"I just don't want anyone else to go through that kind of experience again. I'm not saying I want Schmidt's job, but if he needs any help, then I would jump at the chance."

Schmidt was unavailable for comment when we tried him, but it is thought that any decision would be made after the outcome of Sjwitz v Slaikau is known.

Vilita

03-03-2005, 19:04

Study: More Care about Computer Football than the Real Thing

---------------------A recent study by the Vilita National research and statistics department has discovered that more and more people everyday, not just in Vilita, but around the entire internationstal community, are focussing more on their computer screens then on their national teams. The average Vilitan now spends more time on virtual football/soccer gaming websites, like http://www.hattrick.org , than they do devoting their life and times to their national team and the followings of their sport in real life. Viewing television ratings are currently at an all time low, and sports shows such as "The Vilita beat" and "World Kick" are in danger of ceasing due to lack of interest from former die-hard supporters. It is believed that the trends willl continue to spread as more and more natives sign up daily to pry their peel on the worlds most exciting virtual interactive football/soccer managerment game, based right out of their very computers. Similar trends are being recorded accross the community, especially in the nations of The Eagle's Nest, Sjwitz and Cockbill Street. More on this story will hopefully be provided by other national papers, as this paper may close shop and be replaced by another computer screen.

Oh yea, The Vilitan FA is begging anyone without a computer to come to the next home game. I won't be there though, I'm back to my computer!

Nonesuch Street

03-03-2005, 21:37

Nonesuch Recover
Screw Turned On Group Eight

Nonesuch Street are still in the fight for a World Cup spot after a fine recovery in the last days. First, a 2-0 win over Melmond which sent the Melmondians all complaining about "scorinators" - the national animal of NS World Cup - and now a close home fight against Chicanada, where the Chicanada strikers peppered Highsenburg with shots but couldn't get a vital goal in. The Streetians could, however, taking advantage of Chicanada fielding a backup goalkeeper in Timonn Lisbon when Boltsman headed a goal in to the left of the keeper.

The match was mainly controlled by Chicanada, though, who had more shots on goal and more possession in an entertaining and Jesejil-like football game. The score 1-0 lies somewhat, because the shots on goal were won 17-11 by the Kodiaks, but it scarcely matters. Nonesuch are now trailing Melmond in the second play-off spot by only one point, though have an Abysmal goal difference after the 0-6 drubbing in Hiiraan.

S. Chandra Seccah, who was substituted for Boltsman with fifteen minutes to spare, said after the match that he was delighted with the outcome, though not with the way of play. "Although the Kodiaks are a good side, we let them have way too many chances, and our defensive effort was nothing short of sloppy throughout. We made some good chances, but top teams won't give us that, and we need to lift ourselves to be assured of six points in our games against Allanea and Rittarstan."

South Osettia

03-03-2005, 21:55

“We’re going to have to keep this as quiet as possible. If it gets out that someone here is trying to ruin us, they’ll run, and we’ll never find them again.” Tom and Emmett had locked themselves in Emmett’s office, and the assistants were all trying to hear what was being said. Emmett, knowing that this was likely to happen, had turned the television and the radio on, and both men were almost whispering to each other.

“But how are we supposed to conduct an investigation without anyone knowing? It’s near impossible.”

“I don’t know.” Tom was obviously annoyed at himself for not knowing what to do and Emmett sympathised with him. He had worked for years to get to his current position, and it could all be thrown away because of one individual. This probably meant more to Tom than anything else, and he would do all he could to bring the perpetrator to justice.

The phone rang, and Emmett, who was sitting right next to it on the desk, picked it up after the first ring.

“Hello?”

“This is Ubuloy. Turn your television on…now.” Ubuloy put the phone down, and Emmett couldn’t see him smile at the other end of the line. It was all going to come undone for Emmett Devoll, and he would be there to pick up the pieces. Of course, the television was already on at the time, but neither Emmett nor Tom had really been paying attention to what was on. They both saw it now. It was the press conference. There was Patuto on screen complaining about his wages, and there was Ubuloy standing slightly off screen, smiling cruelly, and to Emmett it was like a stab in the heart.

“He filmed it. The bastard taped it.” The footage froze, and was replaced by the news anchor of SOTV, Farah Ophelia.

“That shocking admission from Patuto in a closed press conference has turned the football world on its head. It’s an embarrassment for the FA and an embarrassment for World Cup Chief, Emmett Devoll, who must pick up the pieces of this seemingly broken dream. We’re going live to Tblisi now, where we’re going to hear from Qostaze Ubuloy.” The picture changed yet again, this time to Ubuloy in his office. It had obviously been set up quickly – his hair was slightly ruffled and his tie not straight.

“Thank you Farah. It seems this shocking affair does not end at Patuto - ”

“Get it on, Tom.” Get it on in every office! That button over there!” Tom had never seen the big red button before. He pressed it, and televisions all around the department switched on to the interview.

“It looks like a member of the SOFA itself has put the player up to this. I’ve been digging around, and I’ve found that that person is…”

***

Danny was just feeding his fish when his television turned on.

“What the hell?” He went to turn it off, but then saw who it was on screen. He listened carefully, and went pale as he heard what Ubuloy has to say.

“Oh, God.” He grabbed his jacket and ran out of his office, slamming the door into the wall behind it as he did so.

***

Polly had given up trying to hear through the walls ages ago, and had retreated to the only other office free to her, Tom’s. She was leafing through some confidential files when the small television in the corner flicked on to SOTV. The noise made her jump, and she knocked the files onto the floor. She knelt down to pick up the files, but slowly rose to watch the television over the desk when she heard who it was. Her eyes widened as Ubuloy unleashed his knockout punch. She left the files and walked quickly away.

***

Hugh was in his office consoling himself after his talk with Saakashvili with a glass of whiskey. The portable TV turned itself on, much to his near-drunken surprise. He listened carefully, really too comfortable to do much else. His demeanour changed as Ubuoy went on. He dropped the glass, resulting in a small pile of broken glass on the carpet. He stumbled out of the door, nearly tripping over his own feet as he did so.

***

Cathy was still much too annoyed about the whole Saakashvili incident to notice when the television switched on. Her own mutterings and curses of Hugh drowned out the noise of Ubuloy until she noticed the slight static noise that emanates from a live electrical appliance in the back of her mind. She looked up to see Ubuloy staring back at her. Now she was fully aware of what was going on.

"Holy..." She sat mesmerised for a second before she did anything, but then she shot straight out of the chair, knocking it over as she did so. She left the light on as she ran out of the room, trying not to fall over in her stiletto heels.

***

"So what good came from that? Now they know that they've been caught. They're gonna try to run!"

"Exactly." Emmett picked up the phone and rang the insider's office. The phone rang six times before he hang up.

"They've already gone."

"Now what do we do?" A grin spread across Emmett's face.

"It's time for the chase to begin."

Cockbill Street

03-03-2005, 22:03

Matchday 9 is over, matchday 10 scores (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8348104&postcount=12) up.

Sonaron

03-03-2005, 22:09

"Reporting live from Nova Britannicus, I'm Susan Shelran. The Pride moved closer to the World Cup futility record today, failing to score for their seventh consecutive match in qualifying. We go live now to a post game news conference with coach Jacques Raizor"
--
The Nova Brittanicus press room has about twenty reporters, mostly from various print media in Sonaron

Izlon Ledger: "Coach Raizor, do you have any comments about the team's recent performance, or lack thereof, on the field?"

Raizor: "Well, I'm certainly not ecstatic about it, if that's what you mean."--After a brief round of laughter subsided--"While I'm disappointed that we haven't been able to score recently, I'm very proud of our defense and Shana [Robinson, goalkeeper] in particular for their play. We're in one of the most difficult groups in the entire qualifying draw, and yet we've given up far fewer goals than some other young teams in easier groups. I think that with some time and experience, this team can contend, perhaps within a cup or two."

Rhovani Reporter: "Coach Raizor, what about these rumors that the recent incidents at Rhovani Stadium were caused by foul play?"

Raizor: "That's up to the authorities to determine. The Pride are cooperating in every way possible."

Rhovani Reporter: "But do you think that there is any substance to the rumors?"

Raizor: "I cannot comment futher. Next question."

Ciarda Daily News: "Coach Raizor, what do you say to recent reports that Sonaron oddsmakers are laying 2:5 odds on the team tying the World Cup futility record with eight consecutive matches held without a goal, and 1:1 odds on the team breaking it."

Raizor: <smirking> "I think the lines are a bit high, and there's some serious moneymaking potential. Seriously though, what do you want me to say? We're going up against the number one team in the world next match, but the team knows we have to give it the same effort as if we were going up against a team ranked one hundred fortieth. Hopefully we'll be able to show improvement and if we score a goal, even better."

At this point, an aide comes up and whispers in Coach Raizor's ear before leaving the stage once more.

Raizor: "I'm sorry, I don't have time for any more questions. I'd like to emphasize that our goal this World Cup is, and has been, steady improvement. The offense is showing signs of life, and I have faith that our team will be able to score another goal very soon. As long as the defense holds up, we can be serious contenders in the Cup of Harmony, should we get invited."
--
"In other news, the Pride have announced plans to accept Abysmalistan's offer to use The Swamp as the site for the upcoming game against Audioslava. Team officials said no site had yet been determined for the closing match of qualifications, versus Oceaice. You're watching the Sonaron News Network."

Pride (1-0-7 -14, 7th place) Schedule:
WC XXI Group 4
MD01: @ Kylaai (W 2-1)
MD02: v Nova Britannicus (L 0-1)
MD03: @ Audioslava (L 0-2)
MD04: v Haperd (L 0-2)
MD05: --REST DAY--
MD06: v Funny Looking Islands (L 0-2)
MD07: @ Oceaice (L 0-3)
MD08: v Kylaai (L 0-3)
MD09: @ Nova Britannicus (L 0-2)
MD10: v Audioslava
MD11: @ Haperd
MD12: --REST DAY--
MD13: @ Funny Looking Islands
MD14: v Oceaice

Sarzonia

03-03-2005, 22:40

Stars rebound from rest, 3-0

With the Sarzonian national football team coming off a bye in World Cup XXI qualifying, the team found itself four points behind first place Crystilakere thanks to their southern neighbors' 3-0 win over Murflonia during that bye. They kept that pace up, defeating San Verdi 3-0 to keep pace with the Crystils, who blanked Everlasting Friendship 3-0.

"We can't afford to think about scoreboard watching right now," Coach Dave Wilson said. "We are at a point in the World Cup where we have to start concentrating on doing our jobs and letting the chips fall where they do."

Part of that was having Darwin Russell wear the captain's armband for the match. Forward Brian Wilson, the team's usual captain was serving a one half suspension because of the red card he received in the Crystils match. But when he finally ran onto the pitch in the 46th minute, the Stars were already ahead 3-0.

"That's the nature of the beast when we play well," Russell said. "We played like a complete team out there tonight. When we do that, we have a chance of beating anyone.

Russell gave the team that chance with his well-placed free kick just outside the 18 yard box that skimmed off the right upright and into the net past a startled goalkeeper for the Stars goal in the 16th minute. The goalkeeper guessed left and Russell deked him with the shot to the right.

"I just gave a head fake and must have fooled him," Russell said. Midfielder Bobby Convey made it 2-0 in the 28th minute with a penalty kick after Russell was taken down in the area. The goalkeeper only got a yellow card for that foul, but San Verdi's coach saw fit to replace him anyway. It didn't matter, as Henrik Bastale forced a turnover near the center circle and slotted the ball to forward Kenny Cooper, who was starting in place of Brian Wilson. The former Under 21 national team star showed his touch with a deft shot past the goalkeeper for the final goal at the 39 minute mark.

From there, goalkeeper Horace Sandt made things look easy by making four saves and the Stars were on their way.

Chicanada

03-03-2005, 22:46

InterCanton Press

Kodiaks Finish Home Matches with 12th point

Chicanada [4] [4] Hiiraan
Westington (-) (20) Xaashi (-) (27)
Klerington (-) (32) Mahamuud (-) (79)
Westington (-) (49) Xaashi (-) (87)
Westington (-) (67) Isaaq (-) (90)

Eastentown, Easten Canton:

Yet another missed opportunity.

A penalty kick in injury time helped complete a fast fifteen minutes and gave Hiiraan a 4-4 over the home Kodiaks.

Things had been looking up for Chicanada, as Jude Westington got the game rolling off a penalty kick in the 20th minute. Samuel Klerington helped put Chicanada on top in the thirty-second minute on a fast break and Westington scored twice in the second half to give the Kodiaks a 4-1 lead.

However, Coach Jesnui Viladetta chose not to rotate in fresh players and that may have caused the collapse in the second half as well as prevent a Hiiraan victory. Unusal for the team, the 4-4-2 formation fell apart in the seventy-eighth minute after a corner kick by Hiiraan, allowing for a score the following minute. It became a 4-3 game in the eighty-seventh minute after a misread by Klerington led to a Hiiraan takedown and a quick goal past Timonn Lisbon. A penalty kick in the final seconds helped bring Hiiraan to a tie and keep Chicanada from catching up with the group leaders.

The tie moves Chicanada within two of Hiiraan for third place in the bracket, but 4 points behing Nonesuch Street, who beat Allanea 2-1.

The Kodiaks plays Melmond in a must-point matchup (if the Kodiaks want any chance to advance) tommorow at Anachronism Park in Cali, Melmond. The match is scheduled for 3000 CST and will be carried live by Northern and CanaTV. Most football pitches will be open after CFF play to show the game live.

Group 6 P W D L GF-GA Pts
Starblaydia 9 7 1 1 25-6 22
Nonesuch Street 8 5 1 2 12-14 16
Hiiraan 8 4 2 2 18-12 14
Melmond 8 4 2 2 14-8 14
Chicanada 9 3 3 3 18-18 12
Rittarstan 9 1 1 7 6-21 4
Allanea 9 1 0 8 3-17 3

The official schedule/results for Chicanada Qualifying

MD01 @ Starblaydia (L 1-2)
MD02 v Nonesuch Street (L 2-3)
MD03 @ Hiiraan (W 2-1)
MD04 v Melmond (T 2-2)
MD05 v Allanea (W 2-1)
MD06 -
MD07 v Rittarstan (W 2-1)
MD08 v Starblaydia (T 3-3)
MD09 @ Nonesuch Street (L 1-0)
MD10 v Hiiraan (T 4-4)
MD11 @ Melmond (Anachronism Park, Cali, Melmond)
MD12 @ Allanea
MD13 -
MD14 @ Rittarstan

Sjwitz

03-03-2005, 23:19

From the latest edition of the Daily NewSjwitz:

Wind of change soon to blow through Sjwitz squad?

Amongst higher instances and important people like e.g. Sören J. Klinn, Minister of sport, the idea was to let coach Steven Schmidt handle the national team until after the qualifying and then decide what had to be changed. Recently however, 60-year old Druidan Simon Greaves, the Director of Youth Football for the Druida Under-21 side has offered his services to the Sjwitz national team saying that he really feels sorry for the fans of Sjwitz and wants to help the team reverse its 8 winless games streak into a series of magnificent victories.

After discussing this offer and after yet again a mediocre result at home to Slaikau (1-1), extending the streak to 9, the board has decided to grant Simon Greaves the coach job, together with Schmidt. An evaluation will be done shortly after they've rearranged the team and better results are expected, if not the consequences will face them both.

Both men have been seen discussing their tactics while enjoying a pint in a soccerpub in Skent shortly after the Sjwitz - Slaikau match, so it looks like their relation is good. Coach Schmidt has announced that this idea sounds great to him, since he has already been searching for new tactics for a while now and he could certainly use the experience of Simon Greaves there, he also added that Simon is quite a funny man. Simon Greaves however, has not yet given out a reaction, it's not even sure if he will accept the job. Some say he was trying to become head coach on his own, but others say he will surely accept.

Sjwitz' Matches:

MD 1: Commerce Heights - Sjwitz 5-1
MD 2: Sjwitz - Eauz 0-1
MD 3: Slaikau - Sjwitz 1-1
MD 4: Sjwitz - The Eagles Nest 1-3
MD 5: Talzeckia - Sjwitz 2-2
MD 6: Gibberovia - Sjwitz 2-0
MD 7: --- bye ---
MD 8: Sjwitz - Commerce Heights 1-2
MD 9: Eauz - Sjwitz 3-1
MD 10: Sjwitz - Slaikau 1-1
MD 11: The Eagles Nest - Sjwitz
MD 12: Sjwitz - Talzeckia
MD 13: Sjwitz - Gibberovia
MD 14: --- bye ---

On MD 11 the matches in Group 9 will be:
(with predicted scores)
Commerce Heights vs Talzeckia 3-1
Slaikau vs Gibberovia 2-0
The Eagles Nest - Sjwitz 4-1
Eauz gets a day off.

Standings:

Group 9 P W D L GF-GA Pts
1. The Eagles Nest 8 8 0 0 30-10 21
2. Eauz 9 7 0 2 18-7 18
--------------------------------------------
3. Commerce Heights 8 4 2 2 14-7 14
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
4. Slaikau 8 2 4 2 12-11 10
5. Talzeckia 9 2 2 5 15-21 8
6. Gibberovia 9 1 1 7 5-26 4
7. Sjwitz 9 0 3 6 8-20 3

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