NationStates Jolt Archive


World Cup 19 :: RP Thread . . . . . ( Hosted by TBF & Turori )

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Turori
29-11-2004, 05:49
World Cup Introduction:

For more information on the World Cup, it's History, how it works, who runs it, and the competitions related to it, check out the World Cup Wiki Site (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Cup)

The NSWC is a tournament for any NS nation who signs up. This World Cup is about to Start its 19th competition. Every team is given a rank based on their performances in previous Cups, and the starting rank is 150 (the Current 'best team in the world' is Rejistania, with a rank of 1) See::KPB Rankings (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/KPB_ranking_system)

Scores are generated using either a Java program or through various or MS Excel sheet 'scorinators' which use random numbers, weighted by ranking and RP bonus to produce the scores.

It is encouraged for Nations to RP - roleplay - their matches, team rosters, players and such. Good RPs will help raise your chance of winning (especially in the Baptism of Fire and Colony Cup). Please note: A lot of RPs does not guarantee goals or wins, but your chances are improved or this happening. i.e. Two debutant, Rank 150, nations play each other. One has RP'd a few times, the other has not. The nation who has participated should have the better probability of victory, but still has a chance of a Win, Loss or Draw.

RPs can be Team Roster announcements, fan comments, press conferences, media stories, anything about the game, as long as you've kept to the score as posted or TGd to you by the host/scorer. - Originally Produced by Starblaydia

Update For All Participants: As a new addition to this Cup, we would like to encourage each team to post, along with their rosters (Editing would be great if already posted) a set of orders for your opponents to follow. Some posters feel restricted by not wanting to choose a goalscorer for their opponents, or holding back on handing out yellow/red cards without first getting permission from their opponents. If we simply tell everyone before hand our preferences this can be avoided. While you are not required to use the Team Rosters (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=375093), their use is encouraged to enhance the RP experience for everyone, and those regularaly using the Rosters Thread may be rewarded. The template for the Individual Orders is now posted in the Rosters Thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=375093)


Current WC19 Related Sporting Links::

WC19 :: Rosters Thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=375093)
WC19 :: Scores Thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7577046)
WC19 :: Referee Thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=375471)
WC19 :: RP Thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7579099)


World Cup :: Discussion Thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=293066)
WC19 :: Signup Thread[/b] (] Under 21 WC 8 [WINNER: Total n Utter Insanity] (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=375285)
Eagle's Cup IV[WINNER: TBD] (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=374628)
Pre-WC19 Baptism of Fire Cup [WINNER: TBD] (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=374306)


::World Cup 19 Qualifying Groups::
(Click on Team Name for Roster)


Group 1
Team: Squornshelous (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7524864&postcount=15) ::9::
Team: Starblaydia (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7518778&postcount=2) ::15::
Team: Krytenia (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7524261&postcount=14) ::30::
Team: Druida (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7581219&postcount=32) ::36::
Team: Vorpal Bunnies ::73::
Team: Dead Rockstars ::105::
Team: Lexmarak ::150::
Team: Taokoualu ::150::



Group 2
Team: Svecia (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7592873&postcount=42) ::11::
Team: Commerce Heights ::19::
Team: Cockbill Street (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7524207&postcount=13) ::28::
Team: Oddslavo ::53::
Team: Haperd (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7582204&postcount=35) ::80::
Team: Nonesuch Street (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7587552&postcount=40) ::150::
Team: Huahin ::139::
Team: The Immaculate Youth ::90::



Group 3
Team: Iansisle (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7593793&postcount=43) ::3::
Team: Crystilakere (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7526796&postcount=16) ::20::
Team: Jeruselem (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7580875&postcount=30) ::27::
Team: Oceaice ::67::
Team: 7JM ::133::
Team: Lethislavania (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7523758&postcount=12) ::87::
Team: Runaway Moose ::150::



Group 4
Team: Total n Utter Insanity ::5::
Team: Liverpool England (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7579763&postcount=28) ::10::
Team: Aquiliana (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7518931&postcount=4) ::22::
Team: Wella ::42::
Team: Nova Britannicus (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7522183&postcount=8) ::35::
Team: Anglevia ::71::
Team: Hisam ::133::
Team: Pterodactyl ::150::



Group 5
Team: The Eagle's Nest (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7576170&postcount=25) ::7::
Team: Melmond (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7595700&postcount=44) ::17::
Team: One Red Dot (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7546654&postcount=21) ::26::
Team: Fmjphoenix (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7530541&postcount=18) ::51::
Team: Kipto-Mare ::83::
Team: Lennon Marx ::150::
Team: Phazania ::112::



Group 6
Team: Kaze Progressa (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7591062&postcount=41) ::4::
Team: NEWI Cefn Druids (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7580445&postcount=29) ::13::
Team: EL CID THE HERO (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7582450&postcount=37) ::24::
Team: The Weegies ::45::
Team: Legalese (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7520466&postcount=6) ::63::
Team: Chonchland ::112::
Team: Munchkinloopa ::124::
Team: Sliponia (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7557878&postcount=23) ::97::



Group 7
Team: Rejistania (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7576566&postcount=26) ::1::
Team: Eauz (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7598632&postcount=47) ::12::
Team: Esth ::33::
Team: Kylaai (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7581076&postcount=31) ::47::
Team: The Evil Umpire ::49::
Team: Adam Island (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7530668&postcount=19) ::90::
Team: Hiiraan (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7522685&postcount=11) ::97::



Group 8
Team: Audioslavia (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7519067&postcount=5) ::6::
Team: The Lowland Clans (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7589463&postcount=40) ::18::
Team: Sarzonia (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7522458&postcount=9) ::32::
Team: Lykaia (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7581299&postcount=33) ::46::
Team: Slaikau ::66::
Team: Antixilian Fatwah ::139::
Team: Middle March ::133::
Team: Zvarinograd ::116::



Group 9
Team: Bedistan (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7557335&postcount=22) ::8::
Team: Lovisa ::21::
Team: Raptor Claw (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7575313&postcount=24) ::34::
Team: Big Pimento (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7582440&postcount=36) ::61::
Team: Eystrck ::150::
Team: Hammerund ::133::
Team: Shonar Bangla (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7584735&postcount=39) ::105::



Group 10
Team: Vilita (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7522594&postcount=10) ::2::
Team: Dance 2 Revolution (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7582516&postcount=37) ::16::
Team: Tadjikistan (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7528407&postcount=17) ::25::
Team: Oaker (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7545266&postcount=20) ::37::
Team: Finrods ::70::
Team: Giant Zucchini (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7521632&postcount=7) ::130::
Team: Nastic ::150::
Team: Piquantrax ::150::



:: Official WC 20 Qualifying Schedule ::

MD01: 1v5 - 2v6 - 3v7 - 4v8
MD02: 6v1 - 7v2 - 8v3 - 5v4
MD03: 1v7 - 2v8 - 3v5 - 4v6
MD04: 8v1 - 5v2 - 6v3 - 7v4
MD05: 1v2 - 3v4 - 5v6 - 7v8
MD06: 3v1 - 4v2 - 7v5 - 8v6
MD07: 1v4 - 2v3 - 5v8 - 6v7
MD08: 5v1 - 6v2 - 7v3 - 8v4
MD09: 1v6 - 2v7 - 3v8 - 4v5
MD10: 7v1 - 8v2 - 5v3 - 6v4
MD11: 1v8 - 2v5 - 3v6 - 4v7
MD12: 2v1 - 4v3 - 6v5 - 8v7
MD13: 1v3 - 2v4 - 5v7 - 6v8
MD14: 4v1 - 3v2 - 8v5 - 7v6


[B]Qualifying Format:

The Top Three Teams in each group after 14 Matchdays will advance to the World Cup Finals in The Belmore Family & Turori. Qualifying matches will take place in character at each nations home stadium. Each nation will host each of it's group nations once at home, and travel once away to each nation in it's group. A Victory will be rewarded with 3 Points, with 1 point awarded for a draw. No points will be awarded for a loss. Ties in the standings will be seperated by Goal Differential [ (Goals Scored)-(Goals Against) ]. If GD is equivalent, The number of Goals Scored will be used. Teams that forfeit a match will be credited a 0-3 defeat. A forfeit may result in a loss of points. Nations that cease to exist during qualifying will host matches in neighboring nations until the end of qualifying, in character. If the nation has not been resurrected by the end of qualifying, the nations results may be expunged from the group. Nations removed by moderators during Competition will immediately be removed from competition.


RP Bonus:

While we don't want to announce to the world what our RP Bonus system is as we would like to encourage quality RP's because people want to contribute to the cup, and NOT because they want to simply earn points by appeasing to the hosts guidelines, We will tell you this much.

There Would be a slightly higher "first" RP bonus, where a team would get a bonus for the fact that they have contributed a quality RP to the competition, in addition to any bonus the RP itself earns.

In short, We Want You to Make us Feel Special by Participating in our Cup.
Vilita
29-11-2004, 05:51
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
Jungle Cats look for Unbeaten Run
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

-------------------As Vilitan head coach Helmut Vilkaus returned for his 7th World Cup, knowing that failure here would certainly be his last behind the Vilitan bench, he gathered his players in Alikki-Corra Vilita, just before the arrival of the Finrods National Team. While the Jungle Cats had never squared off against Finrods in World Cup Qualifying play, Vilkaus knew much about the team that many Vilitans felt a piece of hatred for. Vilkaus also knew how important this qualifying campaign was.

-------------------The Vilita Jungle Cats, riding a 16 game World Cup unbeaten streak, have shaken up their roster for this 19th World Cup. While Jimmy Kater remains the first choice goalkeeper, many young keepers such as Akisa Surta's Delain Falcón have begun to impress and put pressure on the Vilitan #1. Jaloey Afrikka will be partnered by 17 year old Andrea Lamberti in defense, after the partial retirements of Vilitan legends Enzo Ahat and Giacomo Adika. Defensive Midfielder Jürgen Ramzi returns for yet another cup at 36 years of age, but the newly appointed Jlinal Cove manager will surely be seeing his final run at glory with Kiiarana's 19 year old sensation Christian Sanou leading a charge of Defensive Midfield Talent, bolstered by a pair of 17 year old talents from none other than Ramzi's own Jlinal Cove FC.

-------------------Like Ramzi, Vilitan Captain Santo Kecker returns for what could be his final hoorah, the 34 year old Free Kick specialist will be joined by Umberto Melli in midfield, with exciting youth prospects Inaki Soler from Strike FC and 17 year old Antonis Siazzu of Yeaddin Owls, currently gaining experience on loan with Titania Forests of Melmond expecting to be included. The Aging Jonathons, Stott & Baledrokadroka are expected to travel to Legalese for the AOCAF 5 Competition. Callum Banda will be looking to add to his all time Goalscoring record, but he may be doing so with a new partner. 20 Year Old Vilitan Player of the Year, Yeaddin Owls Riccardo Appolloni, has been given support by Jungle Cats coach Helmut Vilkaus, and many expect to see him get the nod over Germán Salomón along side Banda, especially against weaker opposition.


Vilitan Kits: by 3wide Designs (http://www.3wide.com)


http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/wc16/k16.gif


http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7522594&postcount=10)
Big Pimento
29-11-2004, 07:41
Thrust Straight Into the Lions' Den
Big challenge awaits Big Pimento as they open up on the road against Bedistan

Big Pimento won't have the luxury of slowly whipping their sorry asses into playing form, as they've drawn the toughest opponent in the group on Day 1. The Futility Kings (Big Pimento's moniker chosen to represent their success in international football) kick off the tournament playing against the mighty Bedistani Lions, in Bedistan.

A side rich in history and talent, Bedistan have been among the cream of the crop in international football for around half a century. Ranked *only* 8th in the World, their elite programme is in something of a funk right now, but they should still have more than ample starpower to push themselves past the Pimentoes. The team has half its starters playing internationally, with the other half playing locally in arguably one of the deepest leagues in the world. The Lions will be sending forth a veteran side along with a few promising youths to look out for, notably goalkeeper Nick Reagan, forward George Washburn and midfielder Kelly Bowden.

On the other hand, Big Pimento will also be sending a side laden with veterans, but unfortunately for the Futility Kings, these players have enjoyed very little success on the international level. Notable returnees are streaky goaltender Pedro Madhavapeddi, the slick ball-moving midfielder Selecao, and gritty defender Valeri Sharapov. Furthermore, Bong Jong-Il and the ageless Boris Valentine will be back to try to bring some offense to the Futility Kings. Let's hope they don't sputter like last time.

A number of fresh faces will take starting roles on this Big Pimento team when they suit up against Bedistan. Futility King supporters have been drooling over Ricardo Nguyen, a 21-year old defender who's shown great speed, lateral movement and tackling ability. He's still a little raw, but he's starting to show some defensive polish and he's the best prospect for future Big Pimento teams. George Banks and Bertrand Makalari are two more rookies who will join Nguyen on the Futility Kings' highly inexperienced back line. Another name to look out for will be that of Rufus Southbank. Nicknamed "Red" for the amount of card of that color he receives, Southbank's made a name for himself in the Pimento Primera League as a no-nonsense workhorse midfielder who won't shy away from throwing himself into a tackle. He hasn't shown much offensive upside, but he's a mean son-of-a-bitch and he punched a ref after getting a card once, so nobody screws around with him.

Hopefully, after being embarassed time after time after time during the last qualification run, Big Pimento will be hungry for redemption and put forth a valiant effort. New manager Karl Klune has been called a "dictator" by some, but his military-style of leadership should toughen up his players a bit, and hopefully we'll see the same stiff-tackling Pimentos we saw in their inauguration to international football. Klune's a lot like good ol' Rufus since he's got a short fuse too. Never one to mince words with referees, he once threw his shoe at a ref after the official didn't want to hear his plea to reverse a call. If the Pimentos' feed off that energy, we'll have a good match on our hands. Even if the Bedistani Lions completely outclass our beloved Pimentos, the Futility Kings could keep this match within a goal or two with a solid effort.
Fmjphoenix
29-11-2004, 08:39
Fmjphoenix Opens Against Familiar Foe, Boosted to 51st in rankings

The Fmjphoenix will open up against a familiar foe from World Cup 18 in The Eagles Nest. Fmjphoenix will have its hands full keeping up with the Strike Eagles and will be bringing everything out to start off on the right foot. Captian Jorge Mendel has not forgotten their two previous matches.

"Both times we played them, we could have won, should have won one of them. This time, we will have to start off against them and try and get the win this time. We feel very prepared and ready to go in World Cup 19" Mendel said.

Also during practices, the team was informed about their elevation to 51st in the world following the completion of the U21WC8 and Pre-WC19 BoF. The U21 Junior Vikings played hard throughout the entire U21 Tournament and came a hairsbreath short of pulling off a victory over the favored TnUI Sevens.

Preasure is on for the Vikings to step up and be a true competitor in the Qualifying stages, but Coach Wash says his team is fully prepared and in the best condition for the World Cup.

"We are ready. We will prove to the world that we are a fierce and competitive team and should be taken serious to qualify" Coach Wash told reporters.
Kylaai
29-11-2004, 13:33
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kylaai.jpgThe Reformed Islands of Kylaai

Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun!

The words of the people of Kylaai following their 2-1 victory over Snub Nose 38 in the World Cup 17 Cup of Harmony Final. It was Rising Sun who had done it. It was not Sir Norada-Fell or Mazu Kazu. It was not Max. It was Rising Sun. after nearly two hours of Semi Final football against The Weegies, and 81 agonizing minutes against Snub Nose 38, Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Rising Sun! Could it be true? Rising Sun had broken the deadlock! Kylaai had won the Cup of Harmony Final!

The Win was Kylaai's first ever win in a competition for the national team and hopes were very high for Kylaai to make their first World Cup Final. But the team performed poorly in the World Cup 18 and hope to do better this time around in World Cup 19 in TBF & Turori.


Lineup

Goalkeeper: Mandoo Nania
Defenders: Lital Tirar, Hito Burrito, Vito Frito, Max
Midfielders: Rising Sun, Macala Moria, Tennence Fleiam, Norada-Fell
Attackers: Mazu Kazu, Vlanti Vimorta
NEWI Cefn Druids
29-11-2004, 13:52
The Daily Druid

WORLD CUP QUALIFYING PREVIEW SPECIAL
By Björn-Trevor Frederiksson

Well, despite not being the worst of managers, Simon Greaves has been sacked after a disagreement with the FANCD, and Trevor Belmore, another Druids star of the past, is at the helm. Especially interesting, as if the Druids qualify, then they might well have to make a trip to the land of his fathers, The Belmore Family. Of course, they could also end up in... no, wait... that can't be right? Turori? Isn't that that piddly little island just off the coast of Vilita? My god, they really are letting anyone host this thing nowadays! Still, at least it won't be far to go.

Anyway, who have the Druids got in their group? Well, where better to start than the top seeds in the group, Kaze Progressa. To be honest, we wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for Simon Greaves' tactical ineptitude that virtually gifted the Progressans a win in Bedistan, meaning that the Druids went home early while their opponents carried on to the final. Hopefully, Trevor Belmore can help eradicate some of the nightmares Druidish fans have had over that one in the two games against them here. The game at The Hole will be especially important.

Another familiar name in the group are Sliponia. The Slips and the Druids have never actually played a football match against each other, but the sporting rivalry the pair have gotten themselves from other sports, especially handball, mean that these will be two of the most intense games you will see anywhere in all of qualifying. Expect fireworks and a pair of Druids wins. Sliponia are only ranked 97 in the world, even if it is a full-blooded game, Druidish experience should still tell.

Legalese are another interesting name in the group, as they are our new neighbours in Atlantian Oceania. Indeed, if it wasn't for those pesky Druidans, we'd be Bekkside neighbours. But NEWI Cefn Druids isn't next to Bekk anymore, so we're just regional neighbours. Anyway, less politics, more football. Legalese are definately not a bad side at all. They have worked their way up to number 63 in the world, and are ever improving. Expect them to surprise a few here.

The shouty folks of EL CID THE HERO have slowly (very, very slowly) but surely built a team capable of challenging for World Cup honours. Indeed, if they keep improving at the current rate, then by about World Cup 35, they might be in a position to actually win the damn thing. A very deceptive opponent, as in you lull yourself into a false sense of security that it'll be a doddle to beat the ECTH Lions, but in fact, it's anything but.

Perenial underachievers The Weegies have found themselves in the Druids group, and with the opponents we have already mentioned in the group as opponents, it looks like it could go that way again. I mean, I'd love it if, for once, they actually made it, but come on! How long have they been trying?

Munchkinloopa, ranked 124, are seen as the worst team in the group on current form. They lost out at the group stage of the Baptism of Fire tournament, and don't appear to pose much of a threat to the Druids.

Fortunately, for those who believe that a good start is essential, neither do the Druids' opening opponents at The Hole, Chonchland. They made it slightly further, to the Vilitan region semi-final, but were beaten by a much better Lethislavania side. Indeed, the best four teams in that tournament seem to me to have been the semi-finalists, of which Sliponia were one. But then, they are Sliponia, so we'll not mention that shall we?


BTF's prediction for Group 6 (not biased, honest!):

1) NEWI Cefn Druids
2) Kaze Progressa
3) Legalese
4) EL CID THE HERO
5) The Weegies
6) Munchkinloopa
7) Chonuchland
8) Sliponia


Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po's slightly less biased prediction:

1) Kaze Progressa
2) NEWI Cefn Druids
3) EL CID THE HERO
4) Legalese
5) Sliponia
6) The Weegies
7) Chonuchland
8) Munchkinloopa


Trefor Blackmore (Druida) makes his Group 6 prediction:

1) Kaze Progressa
2) Sliponia
3) Legalese
4) EL CID THE HERO
5) The Weegies
6) Munchkinloopa
7) Chonuchland
8) Athamasha
9) The Redavic Union
1337) NEWI Cenf Druids
Crystilakere
29-11-2004, 14:15
Crystils to face Pirates

The Crystilakere Crystils were handed a dream group draw for the World Cup 19 Qualifying stage after learning that they would be up against Life-Long rivals Oceaice. The Crystils have never faced the Pirates, rivals in diplomatic affairs, in international sport, and will be looking to gather a pair of victories in their quest to return to the World Cup Finals.

The Crystils are coming off yet another dissapointing World Cup Finals appearance, missing out yet again on a place in the second round. Crystilakere coach Hazem Emam believes that this is the Crystils breakthrough year, and hopes to see his side upset Iansisle to take the top spot in the group. Emam also indicated he would prefer to be drawn in Turori should the Crystils qualify for the World Cup Finals, as he feels a regional home-field advantage would be better than none.


Group 3
Team: Iansisle ::3::
Team: Crystilakere ::20::
Team: Jeruselem ::27::
Team: Maserrat ::43::
Team: Oceaice ::67::
Team: 7JM ::133::
Team: Lethislavania ::87::
Team: Runaway Moose ::150::
Lykaia
29-11-2004, 14:23
ooc: How come no telegram?

LyKaiA

Lykaia must beat Sarzonia! We do not perform well in the world cup 18 and it is time for us to win back into the final. In the world cup 16 we win the g1st place and make the final again we will try to do this Lykaia ranked 4th :( in the group only top 3 so Lykaia must beat Sarzonia and will do so sorry saarzonia. Also funny name team in our group antizxilain fatwah


Team: Audioslavia ::6::
Team: The Lowland Clans ::18::
Team: Sarzonia ::32::
Team: Lykaia ::46::
Team: Slaikau ::66::
Team: Antixilian Fatwah ::139::
Team: Middle March ::133::
Team: Zvarinograd ::116::
-----------------


Lykaia Goalscorers

Amika Alansifol - 11
Ivan Tverdorsk - 4
Victor Miradah - 2
Bacardi Boroshevz - 1
Oleg Yvchevsky - 1
Legalese
29-11-2004, 14:29
Don: Welcome to Kaze Progressa, sports fans! Along with my partner Jim Jameson, I'm Don Donaldson. We are here today to bring you the opening match for the Legalese Men's National Team.

Jim: That's right, Don. Legalese will take on the Progressans, who are the likely favorites in the group. As the top ranked side, it will not be an easy go for the Black and Red here. However, this team has come a long way from the one that was in this place four years ago, taking on Rejistania in the first match of the World Cup Qualifiers.

Don: I sure hope so. We surely do not want to see so many lawyers on the pitch again. Now, what do you think of the rest of the group?

Jim: It should be pretty strong, indeed. Legalese will face off their Neighbors near, but not on, the Bekk Lake, NEWI Cefn Druids. The Druids have had prior success in reaching the final, and hope to be making the trip to either The Belmore Family or Turori at the end of all this. El Cid the Hero is probably the team standing between Legalese and the Cup final. The Weegies are also perennial contenders, this could be the year for them. Sliponia may be a debutant, but their performance in the Baptism of Fire has surely turned heads. All in all, this will not be an easy group.

Don: It sounds like it will be a difficult go for the Black and Red. A good showing tonight may help start them on a good foot.

That's all we have for tonight, I'm Don Donaldson, wishing you good day from Kaze Progressa! Up next on LSPN, is the World Series of Go Fish!
Sarzonia
29-11-2004, 15:15
Stars 'motivated' to start World Cup

Fourth seeded Lykaia showed more nerve than many teams more highly rated when it all but guaranteed an opening victory over the Sarzonian national team as the final stages of World Cup 19 preparations began.

Still smarting from a last place finish in Group C of the Eagle Cup, the Stars hardly appeared to be a team that needed extra motivation, but the incendiary comment by the Lykaian media served to add fuel to the Stars.

"They said they'll beat us. We'll see about that," team captain and forward Brian Wilson said. "The last thing I'd think you should do is give bulletin board material to your opponents and they just did."

The Stars had plenty of bulletin board material following an "embarrassing" performance in the Eagle Cup where the team won only one match and earned three draws. The team was in the so-called Group of Death with the eighth and twelfth-ranked teams in the world but lost its first match to the 75th ranked team the Redavic Union.

"We didn't win matches we should have won," Coach Dave Wilson, Brian's father said. "That's the sickening part. We've got to play better and it starts against Lykaia."

The only win the Stars had in the Eagle Cup was a 3-2 win over Liverpool England to close out the group stage, but Dave Wilson said he knew the team was in trouble when it lost the opening match against The Redavic Union.

"When you're playing in a 'Group of Death,' you really need to get off to a good start, particularly if it's a team you're expected to beat," he said. "When we lost the match, we had two higher-ranked teams in our group and we would have had to beat both to advance. That's a mental hurdle as much as anything."

The team will re-emphasize its possession football with short, precision passing a hallmark of its play. It also is looking for more aggressive, physical play from its defense, which "needs to tighten up," Dave Wilson said. Goalkeeper Troy Perkins will be back in the pipes for his fourth World Cup, but barely. Newcomer John Bartlett pushed him hard for his starting position after starring for the Stars in the AOCAF tournament.

"We've got a better, deeper team than we've ever had," Dave Wilson said. "Hopefully, that will push us through to the finals."
Vilita
29-11-2004, 15:33
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
Vilkaus Aims at #1 World Ranking
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

-------------------Vilita Jungle Cats head coach Helmut Vilkaus has challenged his players to go stay one step ahead of Rejistania in the World Cup 19 Qualifying stage. Vilita National daytime reporter Marijan Marelja caught up with Vilkaus after a team meeting prior to the start of World Cup 19 Qualifying, where Vilita, on the heels of a 16 match unbeaten streak and ranked 2nd in the World by the KPB Ranking System, are set to entertain lowly Finrods in Alikki-Corra.


-------------------"I walked into the room and took out a big poster I had printed up down the road here at 3wide Designs (http://www.3wide.com). On it of course were the latest KPB Ranks, with Rejistania up with about 71.20 in first, and us in second around 47.50. I showed the lads how close 2nd was to 11th, and I challenged them. I told them they have a decision to make, We can either play hard and go chase that first place team, or we can slack off and drop to 15th back with Turori and Starblaydia. Of course we would still be ahead of Starblaydia, but the thought of being within 10 ranks of them I think got them a little bit fired up to go out and take the game to Finrods tonight. I don't even know if it is mathematically possible to catch Rejistania this cup, with them having won the last two, unless they fail to make it to the finals, but I know for damn sure we are going to defend our 2nd placed ranking and give it all we've got to take over that top spot. I remember back when we didnt even have a Ranking, and you guys interviewed me before our match at The Lowlands Clans and I said 'Watch Out, We are Vilita, hear us Roar' Well you all looked at me like I was crazy then, but step back, because we are about to roar."


http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7522594&postcount=10)
Tadjikistan
29-11-2004, 15:58
The Tigers sharpen their claws

The Tigers did good in WC18 considering their condition, some luck and a couple good Tadjik feet eventually brought them to the second round where they got beaten by Kaze Progressa. It was like going to hell for Georgi Zhukov,who found himself and the team at one point nearly out of the Cup. And although demanded by some, Michael Frunze, TNFF president refused to fire Zhukov :'Our result in WC17 was a dissapointment, WC18 was better but we must admit we were for most part lucky. Now i dont think firing the coach will bring us any closer to qualification in WC19, Zhukov has gained alot of experience and i am sure he will surprise us with good results'

The Team Zhukov brought together is, unlike what we are used to, very young. Only three players in the A team are older than 24, but that does not mean the team is inexperienced with such players as Ter Gasparian, Shvydkoi, Zhigarov, Lavronivich and Denisenko, who have all played in WC18 and some even saw action in U21WC7.

The most important replacement in the team is that of Lev Yashin, at 43 he decided to quit football and took a job as technical manager/scout with Regar-TadAZ Tursunzade. He will be replaced by Sergej Voronov, goalkeeper of Regars city rivals Anicon Tursunzade. Voronov, who has already been contacted by Vaksh Qorgontheppa for a transfer is said to be the only goalkeeper talented enough to replace the superb Yashin, but he himself disagrees: 'Noone can match Yashin when it comes to catching the ball, being compared to him is truely an honor'

Opponents known

Tadjikistan starts in group 10, a wellbalanced group with few known teams. The Tigers have already met Oaker back in WC18 (1-0-1), the Tigers improved their own ranking and are favorite in both matches, But we should not underestimate this side, the difference in talent is small and the advantage of playing at home might be disastrous for the Tigers.

Then there is Finrods, the opponent of the Tadjik U21 team in U21WC7, the young Tigers lost to this team with 1-3. Offcourse this is not the U21 tournament, the Tadjik may rely on their experience and that of their coach in the World Cup. Ranked 70, this team is not expected to qualify, but the younger players know they wont get any gifts from Finrods.

The two opponents to beat are Dance 2 Revolution(16) and Vilita(2). Especially against Vilita, Zhukov will need luck to get through. D2R is ranked abit lower and closer to Tadjikistan but in WC18, they did what the Tigers couldnt: get to the 1/8 finals. a victory in D2R would be a gift from the Gods, or a lucky match.

Of the three other teams, only one name sounds familiar: Giant Zucchini. But we are unsure whether this is the GZ we know from our first World Cups or a completely new team. Few see this team as a rival for the qualification as it is ranked 130th.
Its still better than Nastic and Piquantrax, most certainly new to the World Cup. It will be very difficult for them to get some points together and they should hope to do it against eachother because they stand little chance of winning in any of the 6 other nations. But then again, everything is possible, just look at Druida's performance in WC18.
Jeruselem
29-11-2004, 16:05
Jeruselem Government News - World Cup live broadcast

AG: Anna Goldstein
HS: Himie Silverstein

AG: This is Anna Goldstein for JGN at World Cup 19 or !9. I am talking to the new captain of the Jeruselem team, Himie Silverstein.
HS: Morning everyone or Shalom!
AG: Himie, are you going be pressured by the achievement of World Cup 18 and the legacy of your predecessor James Stuart
HS: No, the pressure is from ourselves. We want to win this cup, but we'll see how far we go.
AG: Any changes from WC 18?
HS: Some retirements, but most of the team are back. Me included of course. We aim to score more goals. That was a major problem with our 18 campaign.
AG: What do you think of the group?
HS: Better than expected. We usually end up with Bedista, Lovisa or Vilita to ruin the day, but this one looks like last cups for some reason.
AG: Where's Becks?
HS: He's here but busy with other arrangements like talking to Crazy Dave and Bedistan Betty, Dave's cohort.
AG: Will you make the finals again?
HS: Only God knows that, but I hope so.
AG: Thank for your time.
HS: Nice to see again cousin.
AG: This is Anna Goldstein, cousin of the Crusader team captain signing off for JGN. Shalom viewers!
Haperd
29-11-2004, 17:27
Once again, Haperd participates in the world cup with little chance of winning. the Haperd will need to get a lucky result againt the top 3 teams Svecia Commerce Heights and Cockbill Street and also win both games against Oddslavo and the rest of the teams behind them to have any chance at making the top 3 for the first time in history.

The Haperd team missed World Cup 18 due to political conflicts in the Caribbean, but scored a national record 15 points in qualifying for World Cup 15. It was the best performance for Haperd and they will try and score 20 points in World Cup 19 with a small chance of making the top 3.


Predicted Finish:

Team: Svecia ::11::
Team: Cockbill Street ::28::
Team: Commerce Heights ::19::

Team: Haperd ::80::
Team: The Immaculate Youth ::90::
Team: Oddslavo ::53::
Team: Gallistien ::150::
Team: Huahin ::139::
Team: Gallistien ::150::
Starblaydia
29-11-2004, 17:49
Starblaydia all tuned up for tonight's match
Zombie Nation better get Ready to Rock

The mood at Starblaydia's training camp yesterday was bright and breezy, with every player seemingly on top of the world. Reserve 'keeper Gavin Thornley was having shots put past him from anywhere up to thirty yards by the starting fowards while number-one Markus Cragg was nigh-on unbeatable at the other end. The youngsters in the bench, oldies in reserve and even the Starting Eleven were all getting along perfectly well in the fun and uber-nationalistic spirit of kicking the asses of people from other countries who speak and dress differently from us.

The general population were getting right into the swing of things as popular hip-hop-oompah crossover band 'Give it some Oomph' released "Let's Kill the Dead Rockstars" for download exclusively over the internet. Website hits rocketed to an all-time high of 36 in one week as the nation feigned interest. A discussion was sparked, however, into how one actually kills the undead. Various solutions were offered. Garlic and Stakes in the Heart were the most popular, though that debate soon turned to trying to feed them Steak with Garlic sauce to kill them, which doesn't seem quite right. Then came fire, holy water, thermonuclear weapons and removal of the head by various means. People who dress primarily in black and chrome offered their 'mystic services', though as they came with premium-rate numbers attached, we weren't quite certain what they were proposing to do.

As for this reporter, however, I believe the best way to see-off the Dead Rockstars is with a huge scoreline in Starblaydia's favour. They should stick to making records and rolling over in their graves when talentless people on Reality TV shows do bad covers of 'Smells Like Teen Spirit', 'Purple Haze' or 'Imagine'.

Oh yeah, and don't let them bite you, or eat your brains, or anything like that. Never know what might happen.

Muah-ha-ha-ha-haaaah...
Adam Island
29-11-2004, 17:58
Adam Island Ready For Cup

30,000ft. Above Ocean- The Adam Island National Football Team, fresh off their third place victory in the Baptism of Fire, is flying to the site of the first match of the World Cup XIX qualifier, anxious to prove that they can compete with some of the top teams in the world, not just its fellow new nations.

Football came to Adam Island only a decade ago, but its caught on pretty quickly according to AI's success in international competition so far. They are 6-1, losing only once to the second place team, Sliponia by one goal, a team they had beaten before 5-1.

It won't be easy for the Republic, even with all-star striker Adelaide Haakenson, who has scored 10 goals in 7 international matches so far and spectactular keeper Paco Naccarato, with 5 goals against and 15 saves in the 7 games. They have been drawn into the toughest group of the tournament, headed by defending three-time champion Rejistania.

"We're not necessarily hoping to qualify," manager Deidra Gowin told reporters on the plane, "that may be unrealistic. Our goal is simply to win more games than we lose and to come out ahead of the other new teams in our group." One of these new teams is old group rival Hiiraan, who has the advantage of seeing AI play before.

Adam Island Team Statistics (http://adamisland.blogspot.com/2004/11/final-baptism-of-fire-statistics.html)
Audioslavia
29-11-2004, 19:58
Audioslavia's Football Statistics

World Cup 4
Qualifying
W4-2 Enelando
L1-2 Alhana Catherine
W3-2 Dyelibeybi
L1-2 Lemmitania
W3-1 Divine Llama
L0-1 Lunatic Goofballs

Finals
D3-3 Kingsford
W2-1 Jurrasica
D1-1 Europa Brittania
D1-1 Lemmitania (D1-1AET L2-3PEN)

P W D L F A
10 4 2 4 19 16

World Cup 5
Qualifiers
L0-4 Squornshelous
L0-3 One Red Dot
L0-1 Hendland
W4-0 Halfassedstates
W3-2 Caras Sidh
W2-1 Dark Outcasts
D1-1 Christofi
L1-2 Moyk

P W D L F A
8 3 1 4 11 14

World Cup 6
Qualifying
W2-0 Great White Sharks
D3-3 _AMP
W4-3 Porvoo
W4-1 Jay Cutter
W3-2 Cobra Cult
W6-0 Iuthia
D1-1 Starving Children
W2-1 Great White Sharks
D1-1 _AMP
W1-0 Porvoo
L2-3 Jay Cutter
D1-1 Cobra Cult
W2-0 Iuthia
L2-3 Starving Children

Finals
L0-3 Spaam
D1-1 Lemmitania
W2-1 Cobra Cult

P W D L F A
17 9 5 3 37 24

World Cup VII
Finals
L3-4 Malundar
W3-1 Liverpool England
W1-0 Kingsford
L2-4 Errinundera (AET)

P W D L F A
4 2 0 2 9 9

World Cup VIII
Qualifiers
W4-0 Sycoes
L1-2 Black Eagle Corps.
W2-1 Voyger
W2-0 Demonic Beings
D1-1 Quohog
D1-1 Sycoes
D0-0 Black Eagle Corps
D2-2 Voyger
D0-0 Demonic Beings
D1-1 Quohog

Finals
L1-2 Halfassedstates
L2-3 The Belmore Family
W3-1 Bullonien

P W D L F A
13 4 6 3 20 14

World Cup IX
Qualifiers
W2-0 Clearwater
L0-2 Lanky Dude
D1-1 Sensual Products
L0-1 East Spaam
D0-0 Timway
L0-1 Aquilla
W2-0 Spaam
W3-1 Clearwater
W3-1 Lanky Dude
W1-0 Sensual Products
W2-0 East Spaam
W3-2 Timway
D0-0 Aquilla
L0-1 Spaam

Finals
L1-2 The Belmore Family
D1-1 Oglethorpia
W1-0 Nikea

P W D L F A
17 8 4 5 20 13

World Cup 10
Qualifiers
W2-1 Svecia
W3-0 Dauragons
L1-2 Zinkoland
W3-0 Citta Acqua
L1-2 Dragonian Empire
W2-0 Davii
L0-1 Clearwater
W3-1 Ravenspire
W1-0 Svecia
W3-0 Dauragons
L2-3 Zinkoland
W2-0 Citta Acqua
W2-1 Dragonian Empire
W3-1 Davii
L0-1 Clearwater
D1-1 Ravenspire

Finals
L1-2 Lemmitania
W1-0 Total 'n Utter Insanity
W3-0 Commerce Heights
L0-1 Kingsford

P W D L F A
20 12 1 7 34 17

World Cup 11
Qualifiers
D0-0 Oddslavo
W1-0 Mattigool
W3-0 Lynnwoode
W2-0 Artemsia Absentia
W2-0 Ice Reavers
L0-2 Aquilla
W2-0 Big Butts
D0-0 Oddslavo
W4-1 Mattigool
W2-1 Lynnwoode
W2-0 Artemsia Absentia
W4-0 Ice Reavers
D1-1 Aquilla
D1-1 Big Butts

Finals
W1-0 Total n Utter Insanity
W3-2 Runaway Moose
W1-0 Kerla
L0-1 Europa Brittania

P W D L F A
18 12 4 2 29 9

World Cup XII
Qualifying
W2-1 EL CID THE HERO
D1-1 Iansisle
W4-0 Abysmalistan
L0-1 East Spaam
W4-2 James A Hollar
L1-2 Eaglet
W5-2 Gaddland
D2-2 EL CID THE HERO
W1-0 Iansisle
W2-0 Abysmalistan
L1-2 East Spaam
W1-0 James A Hollar
D0-0 Eaglet
D2-2 Gaddland

Finals
W2-1 NASTIC 2
L0-3 Oglethorpia
W3-1 Gesamkuntswerk
W2-1 Europa Brittania
W5-4 Squornshelous
W4-3 Commerce Heights
L1-1 Rejistania (1-1 AET, 2-3 on penalties)

P W D L F A
21 12 4 5 43 30

World Cup 13
Qualifiers
W2-0 Magnus Valerius
W2-0 Avenging Altos
W1-0 Free Radicals of Mu-Mu
L0-2 NEWI Cefn Druids
W4-0 Fahigland
L1-3 Bedistan
W2-0 Iansisle
W2-0 Dennisov
W3-0 Resistencia
W4-0 Magnus Valerius
W1-0 Avenging Altos
W1-0 Free Radicals of Mu-Mu
W4-1 NEWI Cefn Druids
D0-0 Fahigland
W1-0 Bedistan
D0-0 Iansisle
W1-0 Dennisov
W3-0 Resistencia

Finals
W2-0 Kerla
D1-1 Liverpool England
D0-0 Sliponia
L1-2 Spaam

P W D L F A
22 14 5 3 36 9

World Cup 14
Qualifying
W2-0 New Luca
D1-1 The Eagles Nest
L0-3 Total n Utter Insanity
D2-2 East Spaam
W2-1 Grand Master Mark
W3-1 New Montreal States
W1-0 Presgreif
W1-0 Larkinia
W2-0 Kendelstand
W3-1 New Luca
L0-2 The Eagles Nest
W2-1 Total 'n Utter Insanity
D1-1 East Spaam
W2-1 Grand Master Mark
W2-0 New Montreal States
W4-2 Presgrief
W2-1 Larkinia
W2-1 Kendelstand

Finals
W2-0 Kerla
L0-3 Brazillico
W1-0 Kaze Progressa
L0-1 Eauz

P W D L F A
22 15 3 4 35 22

World Cup 15
Qualifiers
W1-0 Isles of Wohlstand
L0-1 Commerce Heights
L0-1 Jerusalem
W1-0 Creedence Clearwater
W3-0 Raptor Claw
W3-0 Ineptia
W3-0 Kipto Mare
W3-0 Boscioto
W2-0 Sportonia
W1-0 Isles of Wohlstand
D1-1 Commerce Heights
W2-0 Jerusalem
W4-1 Creedence Clearwater
W2-1 Raptor Claw
W3-1 Ineptia
W2-0 Kipto Mare
W1-0 Boscioto
W2-0 Sportonia

Finals
D2-2 Kingsford
L0-2 Lovisa
W2-1 Aquilla

P W D L F A
21 16 2 3 38 11

World Cup 16
Qualifiers
W6-0 Adrasuvare
W3-2 Vilita
W2-1 Raptor Claw
W3-1 Redavic Union
D2-2 Hazlia
W4-1 Adrasuvare
W2-0 Vilita
D3-3 Raptor Claw
W1-0 The Redavic Union
W4-0 Hazlia

Finals
W3-0 Iansisle
D3-3 Oaker
D2-2 Kingsford
L0-2 Rejistania

P W D L F A
14 9 4 1 38 17

World Cup 17
Qualifiers
W3-0 Magnus Valerius
L0-1 Ebon Hawk
W3-2 Isles Of Wohlstand
W3-1 Big Pimento
L1-4 Squornshelous
W5-2 Cockbill Street
D0-0 The Weegies
W2-0 Magnus Valerius
W3-0 Ebon Hawk
W1-0 Isles of Wohlstand
D3-3 Big Pimento
D0-0 Squornshelous
D1-1 Cockbill Street
W3-1 The Weegies
W2-1 Halfassedstates

Finals
W2-1 Starblaydia
W5-4 NEWI Cefn Druids
W3-2 The Lowland Clans
D1-1 Aquiliana (L1-2 AET)

P W D L F A
19 12 4 3 41 25

World Cup 18
Qualifiers
W4-1 Vollmeria
W2-0 Tadjikistan
W3-0 Avenging Altos
L1-2 Druida
W3-0 Cockbill Street
W2-0 Oaker
W5-0 Kipto Mare
W4-0 Vollmeria
W3-0 Tadjikistan
W1-0 Avenging Altos
W4-0 Druida
D1-1 Cockbill Street
W3-1 Oaker
W3-0 Kipto Mare

Finals
W2-1 Tadjikistan
W2-1 Aquilliana
D0-0 Commerce Heights
W1-0 Snub Nose 38
L0-3 Kaze Progressa

P W D L F A
19 15 2 2 45 10

Eagles Cup V
L2-3 Starblaydia
W3-1 Turori
D0-0 Legalese
L0-1 Starblaydia
W3-1 Turori
D1-1 Legalese
W3-1 Liverpool England
W1-0 The Belmore Family
L0-1 Bedistan

P W D L F A
9 4 2 3 13 9

World Cup 19
W1-0 Slaikau
W3-0 Antixillian Fatwah
W3-1 Middle March
W5-0 Zvarinograd
W2-1 The Lowland Clans
D1-1 Sarzonia
W2-1 Lykaia
W4-2 Slaikau
W2-0 Antixillian Fatwah
W4-0 Middle March
W1-0 Zvarinograd
D2-2 The Lowland Clans
W3-2 Sarzonia
D1-1 Lykaia

Finals
W3-0 Cockbill Street
D1-1 Commerce Heights
L0-1 Lovisa
D1-1 Nova Britannicus (1-1 AET, W7-6 on penalties)
W1-0 Turori
D0-0 Dance 2 Revolution (0-0 AET, W4-3 on penalties)
L0-1 Crystilakere

P W D L F A
21 15 4 2 40 14

All-time statistics
P W D L F A
273 166 53 56 497 226

Ranks/Achievements in each tournament:
World Cup 1 - N/A
World Cup 2 - N/A
World Cup 3 - N/A
World Cup 4 - 100, Second Round
World Cup 5 - 011, Didn't Qualify
World Cup 6 - 040, First Round
World Cup 7 - 020, Second Round
World Cup 8 - 013, First Round
World Cup 9 - 018, First Round
World Cup 10- 018, Second Round
World Cup 11- 011, Second Round
World Cup 12- 004, Runner-Up
World Cup 13- 002, Second Round
World Cup 14- 006, Second Round
World Cup 15- 005, First Round
World Cup 16- 009, Second Round,
World Cup 17- 006, Second Round
World Cup 18- 006, Quarter Final (Eagles Cup 5, Semi-Final)
World Cup 19- 006, Runner-Up
World Cup 20- 001

Records:
Biggest Win: 6-0 Vs Iuthia, 6-0 Vs Adrasuvare
Biggest Defeat: 0-4 Vs Squornshelous
Longest Winning Streak: 7 games in WC18Q, 7 games in WC15Q, 7 games in WC15Q, 7 games in WC13Q
Longest Losing Streak: 3 games in WC5 Q
Most goals scored in a match: 5-4 vs Squornshelous in WC12QF, 5-4 vs NEWI Cefn Druids in WC171R
Highest Rank: 1st
Lowest Rank: 40th
Starblaydia
29-11-2004, 22:29
Starblaydia Make Sweet MD1 Music
Rockstars (stage)dive to 3-0 defeat in Jhanna

When the clock said seventeen, I scored a very good goal,
I scored a very good goal, I looped it, with my head-ee,
My name is Tetsuo Naoki,
The Crowd started to scream,
When the clock said seventeen.
With apologies to 'Homer's Beer Song' from The Simpsons.

Despite having more forwards than they know what to do with, the Dead Rockstars just couldn't break down a Sttarblaydia side that were in the groove.

Just like toilet paper. Or should that have been 'on a roll'? Nevermind. But without the baby and the dollar bill. Anyway.

Tetsuo Naoki scored the first goal of the match as he got his head to a free-kick from Roberto Di Bradini. With some excellent skill and his back to goal, Naoki looped the header into the far corner beyond Bonham to put Starblaydia One up after a quarter-hour to really get the party started.

Though Starblaydia's fans weren't particularly music-minded, the subs bench of the Dead Rockstars alone was a line-up staggering enough to fill Foundation Road's seventy-thou capacity a few times over were a concert to be staged there. As for on the pitch, Sid Vicious brought down Jakkinho time and time again for a variety of free-kicks, though he did win most of the headers with well-timed leaps. Lennon, on the other hand, was no match for Eomer Hall's towering brute strength.

While the beardy, hippy veteran was trying to 'make love not war', Hall was having a performance like it was his Summer of '69. In fact it was in the sixty-ninth minute that he scored himself. A high ball from Starblaydia's diamond formation came out of the sky, and all Lennon could cry was 'Lucy'. Hall chested the ball down and half-volleyed past Bonham for the second.

Manager John Peel looked decidedly disappointed with his 'not quite Liverpool-England' style of attack, so called for Richey Edwards to replace the decidedly-depressed Kurt Cobain in midfield. Edwards, however, was nowhere to be found, though his car was found abandoned outside the player's car park. Mick Ronson and Buddy Holly came on instead, though they weren't much help.

Perhaps it wasn't Buddy Holly, but was an imposter, someone who looked just like him. Dead Rockstars' fans don't care, he wasn't any good. With Starblaydia's Simeone Di Bradini spending way too much time bantering with opposing reserve 'keeper John Lee about the state of Echo Park, his home ground, Starblaydia's manager decided to throw him on for the last few minutes. And we though he was meant to be a reserve striker, not a substitue.

'SDB' put paid to any Rockstar comeback with a third goal from a swift counter-attack, on the end of a moved that allowed him to lob Bonham from around twenty yards. Thirty-five goals from the great man as he extends his scoring record for Starblaydia.

That was the end of the match, though the only teenager to get any kicks was Nick Matranga, 19, who came on as a substitute for Jose Tirado. At least that's the musical puns over with.

Until Matchday Eight, of course.

Final Score from Foundation Road:
Starblaydia 3 - 0 Dead Rockstars
(Naoki 17, Hall 69, S. Di Bradini 77) - (None)


Group 1, after Matchday 1
Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
----------------------------------------
Druida 1 1 0 0 4 0 +4 3
Krytenia 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3
Starblaydia 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3
Squornshelous 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Vorpal Bunnies 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Dead Rockstars 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0
Lexmarak 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0
Taokoualu 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0

Starblaydia are currently third, by way of the alphabet, behind Krytenia and the impressive win of Druida.
Sarzonia
29-11-2004, 22:35
Stars start off with a bang, 5-1

After missing out on World Cup play once again last time, the Sarzonian national team had a mixed bag of results, winning the Cup of Harmony, but finishing last in its group at the Eagle Cup. There was no such mix tonight as the Stars got off to an impressive start, scoring a national high-tying five goals and defeating Middle March 5-1.

"We were eager to get going out there," Coach Dave Wilson said. "It might have been a much higher score if we hadn't let off the throttle a bit."

Forward Brian Wilson scored a hat trick and midfielder Darwin Russell notched four assists to lead the way for the Stars (1-0, three points). Forward Anton Gregor scored the last goal of the match in the 74th minute, offsetting the only goal by Middle March.

"We wanted to come out with a lot of intensity and we were able to do that," goalkeeper Troy Perkins (three saves) said. "We let up a bit on the goal or we might have had another game like the one we had against Giant Zucchini (a 5-0 win in World Cup 17 qualifying).

The Stars play the first four matches against teams ranked lower than they are, but Wilson cautioned the team not to be complacent.

"We lost to The Redavic Union at the Eagle Cup and we lost to Legalese at the previous World Cup qualifying stage," Dave Wilson said. "We should know by now not to take anyone for granted."
Legalese
29-11-2004, 22:44
Excellent Progression for Black and Red

Legalese 1, Kaze Progressa 1

Legalese started their World Cup qualifier with a shock, holding Kaze Progressa, the #3 team in the world, to a 1-1 draw in Kaza. Scoring for the Black and Red was Jonny Lambert. Kaze Progressa's scorer is unknown at this time. In fact, the entire team seemed to be a mystery, coming out in white shirts, with white numbers and no names. Despite such, the Progressans showed the strength of play that has earned them the #3 seed, headed into the qualifiers. All that kept Legalese alive were the efforts of Tommy Walters, who have 13 saves on 15 shots.

"The draw was very important to us", said Walters after the match. "In the Eagle's Cup, we had the chance to play toe-to-toe with some of the best teams in the world, and I think we showed our progression today."

Manager Robbie Heard agreed with Walters's assessment.

"Starting this group off with points is very important. We've shown we can play with anyone, and will fight hard to make it through Group 6. These guys are ready to host The Weegies."

Legalese is now 0-0-1, and will have their first home qualifier at Legalese National Stadium, where they will take on The Weegies.
Cockbill Street
29-11-2004, 23:01
Ankh-Morpork C-mail

First Blood
Hua! Hin! And Win!

Olaf Heimfoething led the Streetian side to their first football victory in a long time at the Roegrow Grass Patch today against Huahin, a team who went through the Baptism of Fire tournament losing four matches and conceding 12 goals. A slightly worried and nervy Streetian team entered the pitch for the game, knowing that they had little home support (the couple of thousand standing on the mud in the rain looked positively freezing - despite wearing yellow and red scarves). The Department of Sport had serious trouble selling tickets for this match - interest for football in the Street have dropped to a new low after dismal performances in the past Cups, and Huahin's national side is renowned for...well, good question, but losing a lot probably comes high on the list.

However, Lee Branson's inspired new coaching seemed to work in the long run. After fifteen, twenty minutes, the Streetians got the match into their track, winning tackles, pressuring their opponents, and doing exactly what they had to do to win against a Karela-playing Huahin. It paid off in the twenty-seventh minute, as a Huahin player fouled Sarah Cawdron on her way into the penalty area and Robert Stubbings calmly placed the ball to the left of the hapless keeper - 1-0. After that, Huahin broke apart, seemingly knowing that they had little chance of coming back. The game proceeded at a slow pace as the Streetians didn't want to injure themselves, but in the dying seconds Phil McLavish crossed in from the right and Liam Wharton put his head to it for two-nil.

Calmed after such a good start to the game, the Streeters could proceed easily in the second half, and it really became a simple walkthrough against a team barely Human League level. Mark Bitton made it 3-0 with a bizarre mix of lob, cross and shot eighteen minutes into the half, and substitute Rhianna Peters - the Street's first female cap in 24 years - could make it four-nil in the twenty-sixth minute of the half with a shot from 10 metres.

All in all, the Streetians came out very well in their first qualifying game - much better than Snub Nose 38, whose efforts were described by the Scuttlebutt in such a way that the editors must surely be breaking Snub Nose law. The only thing we could grasp from the journalist was some rather strange faces and a shout as he despaired about their loss to Hammerund...a nation whom nobody have heard of previously, apart from the Baptism of Fire organisers Vilita and Crystilakere, where they lost three and drew one.

Cockbill Street: Havell 6 - Walker 6, Galena 5 (Dwarfclobberer on 53 6), Jones 6, H Stronginthearm 6 - Cawdron 7, Bitton 7 (Rankin on 81), Heimfoething 7, McLavish 6 - Stubbings 6 (Peters on 70), Wharton 7

COCKBILL STREET 4 (Stubbings 27 pen, Wharton 45+1, Peters 63, Peters 71)
HUAHIN 0
Lethislavania
29-11-2004, 23:03
Lethislavania Fighting Green


It was raining. Heavily. The dark clouds pulled in slowly, and Lethislavanian fans around the world were pumped. They had just won the Baptism of Fire, in a stunning 3-0 win, and were looking forward to this match against Jeruselam. Water began to form large pools, creating a vast mudland on the field. The player quickly ran onto the field, albeit carefully to avoid slipping. The horn sounded, and like a stampede, the players were off.

Jeruselam's forward came up with the ball, quickly dribbling around Thomas Boeing, and shooting straight through the midfield and defense, like a dart slicing through the air. Pulling back, he launched a spinning shot into the middle of the net. Jorge went up for the ball, but it slipped on the tips of his fingers and landed softly behind him. Jeruselam's side exploded into cheers of excitement, and Aroyyo cursed at the ground.

The game restarted, with Thomas Boeing surging forward. But unlike so many other times, Jeruselam's center-midfielder slid under his leg and knocked the ball out, passing it over to their right forward, who dribbled it forward. Speeding hard, like a racecar on a mission, he shot forward, the did a hard right. Pulling it back, he launched it over towards Jeruselam's center forward, who jumped gracefully. The ball came over, glanced off his head, and went sailing into the goal, as Jorge slipped in the mud.

Once again, melancholy entered the souls of Lethislavania, as a team and as a country. The euphoric attitude of Jeruselam was daunting, to say the least, and the sweat drenching the uniforms of Lethislavania was not helping. Aching and exhausted, Lethislavania took to the field to restart for a second time.

Slowly, it began again. There was some back and forth, but a uneeded lull of action. Either Lethislavania started something soon, or the impending doom of a loss was upon them. Then, a glint of fury arose in the Jeruselam squad, who flew up the field in a almost V-like formation, and quickly pulled the ball up to the goal. Their left forward stretched his body back, thrust it forward again, and watched as the ball sailed to the right of the helpless Jorge. Where was the vicious Parincia defense? Why was Jorge doing so badly? The whole team fell automatically to their knees, a sign of defeat in Lethislavanian culture. Jeruselam's side was absolutely at the peak of happiness.

The game started again, with 2:03 on the clock, who's menacing numbers taunted the weary Lethislavanian team. 3-0, Jeruselam. How? Why? The Jeruselam front began to play games with the defense, sliding the ball back and forth, causing them to trip on their own legs. Nobody on Lethislavania was thinking. The whole team was collapsing on itself, imploding to an excellent opponent. Jeruselam surge forward with the anger and heat of a firey demon, the speed of a crazed madman. Sliding the ball to the left, the center forward lofted the ball to the high-left of the net, where Jorge collided against the pole, allowing the ball to drop to the sodden ground. The horn sounded, echoing over the silent Lethislavanian team. This was a hole they could not get out of. The second half would be a battering ram, crushing the hopes of a newborn team. It would prove to be silent, deadly beating.

Aroyyo didn't even talk to them this time. He just sat there, red as an inferno machine. The team looked at the ground, as though it were some mesmerising affect. They slowly rose to say a prayer.

Father,
Great and willing,
Help us to reach our goal.
Our needs are fufilling,
Our hearts are quite heavy,
Give us our need we not.

Or how it was truly sang:

Padire,
Gorro ai wollie,
Doi nos yi tor goale.
Tor nadei aer follia,
Tor hierto aer quito hevaio,
Das nos tor tein nose no.

Silently, the team headed to the field, the slow drone of the leaving fans and the rain chilling. Bones creaking and lung heaving, tehy went onto the field, were the menacing numbers read once more. 4-0. Crushed, mentally and physically, the game began again.

Jeruselam quickly shot up the field, going up against a team who seemed not to care anymore. Tears poured down Jorge's face as the center forward drilled on into the lower-left corner, raising the mountainous score even further. Cries of anger, and cures of venom were hurled toward the Jeruselam team, but it worked naught. They would come back and strike again, this time the left forward kicking it right under the top bar. The team fell to their knees, pounding the ground. Cups were thrown onto the field, and the sky cried more.

It cried for Jorge. For Thomas. For Cel. The whole team. They could not pull it together, and this was their price to pay. A loss to Jeruselam. Used and worn, the team left the field after the horn, and walked into the team bus. This is where they would sleep. No hotel. They needed to learn their lesson.
Fmjphoenix
29-11-2004, 23:07
Vikings get measure of revenge, earn one point against The Eagles Nest

In a much awaited rematch against TEN, the Vikings went even with TEN 2-2. Jorge Mendel and Mike Nolan were at it again for the Vikings as the combonation of Mendel with Nolan has proven very good for Fmjphoenix.

The match started off in a hurry with TEN ceeding the first goal to Mendel at the 3rd minute. During the next twenty minutes of play, the ball went up and down the entire pitch numerous times, as neither team would give up a goal. Viking Defender Bobby Bash earned a Yellow Card when he hit Eagles Striker Siggy Secour at the 31st minute, who made his penelty shot to tie the match 1-1. Then it was lights out for the rest of the half, as neither team would allow the other to even get close to attempting a shot. At the 64th minute, rookie forward Karim Ackbar took a shot that Eagles Goalkeeper Boyd Gregor slaped out right to Mike Nolan, who put it in to put the Vikings up 2-1. Fans across Viking arena thought this would be the match that the Vikings triumph past the Eagles, but it was not to be. At the 86th minute, Eagles Forward Mario Grotunia recieved a pass from Siggy Secour that went through the legs of Tra Miranda and hooked a shot over Powell Lamar to even the score up 2-2. Esteban Zeus took a desperation shot from close to midfield that nearly got in, but Gregor slapped it out to keep the score 2-2 and end the match in a draw.

After the first matchday, Group 5 looks very interesting. There is only one team in first place, Melemond, as they were the only team in the group to earn a 2-0 win over Kipto-Mare. Each other team had a draw, with Spamm and Phazania at 2-2 and One Red Dot going 1-1 against Lennon Marx. This leaves SIX teams tied for 2nd place. It will be a very interesting next few days to see how this plays out

Fmjphoenix: 2
(Mendel 3: Nolan 64)

The Eagles Nest: 2
(Secour 31: Grotunia 86)

Group 4 Standings
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Melmond 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
2 Fmjphoenix 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
2 Lennon Marx 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
2 One Red Dot 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
2 Phazania 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
2 Spamm 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
2 The Eagles Nest 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
8 Kipto-Mare 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0

that chart took a while to make from scratch. not sure the order to sort places by, but i did alphabetical. Okay thanks for pointing out the mistake, all fixed.
Cockbill Street
29-11-2004, 23:13
Group 4 Standings
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Melmond 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
2 Fmjphoenix 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
2 Lennon Marx 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
2 One Red Dot 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
2 Phazania 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
2 Spamm 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
2 The Eagles Nest 1 0 1 0 0 3 0 1
8 Kipto-Mare 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0


The Streetian Department of Sports kindly point out that the usual way of splitting teams on equal points are: 1) Goal difference, 2) Goals For, 3) Wins, 4) Alphabetical order. Oh, and that the Nest have been credited with a 0-3 goal difference. If only.
Lethislavania
29-11-2004, 23:14
Lethislavania Fighting Green

As a response to Maserrat, Michael Aroyyo held a press conference today.

"Yes, I will agree with Maserrat, I do have high hopes for my team. However, I am quite disgusted by their performance last night, and I will tell you this: They will try this next game, or if they don't, I will retire. That is all for now." Appearing agitated, he quickly exited, shielding his face from teh large amount of camera flashes.
Vilita
29-11-2004, 23:55
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif

Vilita [2]-[0] Finrods

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
Vilita Goalscorers::
59' Umberto Melli
72' Callum Banda

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

-------------------


Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Marasent Sioane
Worst Player: Emarka Laniora
Shots on Target: 7
Corner Kicks: 15



http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif
Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Bryan 'Pop' Duiker, [D] Esemar Aliana, [D] Ricky Ezis, [D] Emarka Laniora, [DMC] Jürgen Ramzi, [ML] Inaki Soler, [MC] Marasent Sioane, [MC] Jacques Vintila, [MR] Umberto Melli, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni, [FC] Callum Banda,
BENCH::
[FC] Germán Salomón, [FC] Serge DuPont, [M] Santo Kecker, [M] Malovar Stokks, [U] Petros Alfieri, [D] Danilo Liguori, [GK] Jimmy Kater,

Vilita Substitutions::
(64) - Emarka Laniora >>> Malovar Stokks
(66) - Marasent Sioane >>> Santo Kecker
Bedistan
29-11-2004, 23:59
The Bedistan Sports Digest

Big Expectations Against Big Pimento Produce Big Disappointment
Opening win streak shattered by 'Futility Kings'

SONOMA CITY -- For some of the players on the Bedistani national team, this was their first time ever playing at Fillmore National Stadium. All of Bedistan's matches in World Cup XVIII were played in Eauz, and the stadium was still under construction during WC17 after the old national stadium in Dennis was destroyed by fans angered by a loss to Aquilla (not to be confused with Aquiliana) in WC16 qualifying. The Sonoma City Volcanoes, who use Fillmore as their home ground, were playing in the Second Division last year, so pretty much nobody on the national team has played against them since the stadium's opening.

Why is this relevant? Well, many players are pleading ground unfamiliarity as justification for their failure to defeat Big Pimento in their first match of World Cup XIX qualifying Monday afternoon. Since World Cup XIV, the Lions have never failed to win their first qualifying match, defeating Vollmeria, Ktony, the infamous ASSKICKEN (who received one, seven-nil), and Dance 2 Revolution, in that order. Judging from what we've seen in the Pimento press, their team did not expect to change this.

And indeed, the first half of the match looked good for the Lions, as Sven Cardinal, playing in his fourth Cup, secured the lead with a thirteen-yard shot straight down the center in the 26th minute, catching Pimento keeper Pedro Madhavapeddi off his line. That incident aside, the Pimento defense proved to be a bit hardier than the Lions had expected, especially George Banks, who stopped cold a Bedistani chance by four-time captain Jackson Reinhardt by gracefully stealing the ball. This defense is what kept Big Pimento in the game and held the halftime score down to one-nil.

After halftime, little changed, but anyone watching the match could tell that there was a slight evolution in the game and that Big Pimento were slowly but surely gaining the upper hand. In the 70th minute, Boris Valentine made his way up the left side of the pitch and sent one into the net behind Nick Reagan, but the goal was ruled illegal thanks to the offside rule. To nobody's surprise, Pimento midfielder Rufus Southgate began arguing with the Insanician referee, claiming that the goal surely counted. Insanicians usually don't take kindly to heated arguments, and Southgate was promptly shown the yellow card. He persisted, and the referee showed everyone why Southgate's nickname is "Red". Big Pimento, on a roll so far in the second half, were now down to ten players. This didn't stop them, though. It would be Bong Jong-Il that would come up with the real equalizer eight minutes later. Realizing that they were in danger of dropping two points, the Bedistan offense redoubled its efforts. But while six shots on goal in the last fifteen minutes are all well and good, they're completely useless if absolutely none of them are on target.

"We've become complacent," said Reinhardt after the match. "The rankings are showing that we're not as good as we used to be. Fact is, that's not true at all. We (and by 'we' I'm including myself) are not playing to our potential. We have what it takes to win World Cups, but drawing with teams like Big Pimento is not the way to do it. No offense to the Pimentoes, they've got a lot of talent, but they still aren't quite on our level yet, unless our level has dropped. A lot."

BEDISTAN 1
S. Cardinal 26
BIG PIMENTO 1
B. Jong-Il 78

Next Match
Shonar Bangla v Bedistan

Shonar Bangla is new to the World Cup scene, but they made a very respectable showing in the Baptism of Fire Tournament. If the Lions don't start falling asleep on the pitch, though, they should be able to win pretty easily.
Shonar Bangla
30-11-2004, 00:03
Relief across Shonar Bangla

AP-- No sooner had the Bangla team landed at Raptor Claw, that they were dragged off to the opening game. Having missed the opening ceremony due to a flight delay back in Vilita (where they were unfairly eliminated in the Quarter Finals of the Baptism of Fire cup), the sleepless team found itself without acclimatization to the new land, being forced head-first into a game with 34 ranked Raptor Claw.

All signs of stress however, disappeared as the official whistle blew. The Baptism of Fire Cup was now history, this was center-stage, and Shonar Bangla MUST perform. The team being fielded was the same successful one as that from the BoF Cup. The first goal came at the 21st minute, with now legendary midfielder Boidurjo Bose passing the ball from the sidelines to tiny forward Murtaza Bhaimia who easily scored on hapless keeper Gonnast Opyou.

By the end of the half however, the scores were tied again. The generally solid defence of Shonar Bangla was distracted by the beautiful 'cheerleaders' of the Raptor Claw, one of whom (Overla Pinrun) being caught on camera flashing her gorgeous mammary glands. Then, pouncer Runni Naroun had an easy way to the net as the lustful sons of Bangla were busy showing off their instruments to the distractors.

The second half saw no goals, but saw several close attempts on the behalf of Shonar Bangla. On a free-kick, Aritra Basu hit the inside of the top bar, but a balloon released from the crowd interfered with its path, pushing it away.

At the end of it all, a tired manager Rana Ali beamed at the cameras: "Come on, we are ranked 105 here. To get a draw with an experienced team is a remarkable achievement, considering all the stress we went through regarding the Baptism of Fire Cup."

On the other hand, captain Abdul Zakir Hussein remarked, "We shouldn't settle for draws however. We saw how that affected us back in the Baptism of Fire cup."

The team is currently boarding the flight to Murshidabad, Shonar Bangla, where for the first time in a long string of international matches, Shonar Bangla will be host. Naturally, immense crowd support is to be expected.
Shonar Bangla
30-11-2004, 00:05
OOC: Bedistan, where is the schedule for the world cup posted?
EL CID THE HERO
30-11-2004, 00:11
EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

let the games begin

With so many new things that have happened to the lions in the last 4 years people are now question wever the lions have the skills to take on the WC. It is because of this that the El Cid News have done some research into the teams the lions will face.

Kaze Progressa have a strong team that have peformed well in most of the world cups they have compeated in. are ranked 3rd in the world and came 2nd in the last WC. However El Cid have prouced bigger shocks in their WC travels TEN and BED to name but a few, so dont give up hope yet.

NEWI Cefn Druids Are a well established team with a good history of footbal, one has to think that with ECTH being twice their rank it may not go the lions way. this looks like a battle between an old giant and a newcomer.

The Weegies and the lions have crossed swards once before in the WC17 playoff game ECTH came out on top. hopefuly the lions can do so again and with their improved rank they may do just that.

Legalese is a team that El Cid has never heard of, let alone played. however with their low rank it looks hopefull for the lions.

Chonchland, munchkinloopa and sliponia are new teams that will probaly not brake through to the finald. but one must alwasy rember that we were all new onch

Kaze Progressa 3
NEWI Cefn Druids 13
EL CID THE HERO 26
The Weegies 43
Legalese 67
Chonchland 150
Munchkinloopa 150
Sliponia 150

A hard groupe and a hard trip. will El Cid do it again. read and you will find.

occ:would have had this done ages ago but my Bro was on CS for over 3 hours. MY BRO IS MEAN :(

will RP match later
Shonar Bangla
30-11-2004, 00:15
True to the doctrine of psychological warfare, captain of the Shonar Bangla team has gone off the hook again. In his best-selling book "The Other Dimensions of Footballing", Abdul Zakir Hussain has detailed the tiny actors in the play of defeating the opposition, and psychological warfare plays a major part of the off-field game.

Following up on his word, Hussain remarked, "Those Lions are appetizers for our Royal Bengal Tigers, playing sub-standard teams and beating them is nothing. Hell, look at those pathetic fools, supposedly veterans of this game, they drew against an unheard team called Big Pimiento. If I were them, I'd be hiding my face in the closet and not even show up tomorrow, to avoid another 'dissapointment'."

"Football is a man's sport, not a sport for girly men."

On being asked if the team would specifically target any of the players in the Bedistani football team, Hussein spat: "No, our gun specifically targets at their whole team, and we bring them down as a whole team."
Bedistan
30-11-2004, 00:16
OOC: Bedistan, where is the schedule for the world cup posted?

OOC: It's in the first post of the scores thread.

Also of note, qualifying matches don't normally take place in the host nations. In the schedule in the scores thread, the first team listed is the home team and the second is the away team. Thus, my opening match was in Bedistan, while your opening match was in Raptor Claw. Our match tomorrow will be played in Shonar Bangla. :)

And I made the same mistake in my first WC, so you're not alone. ;)
Nova Britannicus
30-11-2004, 00:45
Atlantian Oceania Rules the Football Waves

The only problem with that grand sweeping (and argueably innaccurate) title is that Nova Britannicus were the only Atlantian Oceania team to lose on the opening matchday of the World Cup 19 Qualifiers. Except for the Antixilian Fatwah, but that bunch of random rebel psycho-mercenaries can go to hell, for all we care.

Gettign back to the Navy-Blues, it was Winger Dean Caliban who got the Britannicans' only goal of the match, though they were penetrated twice by the Insanicians of Total n Utter Insanity.


Group 1
Starblaydia 3 - 0 Dead Rockstars
Krytenia 3 - 0 Lexmarak
Druida 4 - 0 Taokoualu

Starting at the top, Good old AOCAF4 Champions Starblaydia gave the Dead Rockstars a good thrashing. Even former-Atlantian Oceania nation of Krytenia beat their opponents, while Bekkside neighbours Druida scored the best win of the day in Group 1 with a four goals to nil demolition of a country we can barely spell, let alone pronounce.


Group 3
Iansisle 1 - 2 Oceaice
Crystilakere 3 - 1 7JM

Crystilakere and their subsidiary nation Oceaice both scored wins today, though Oceaice's win was absolutely superb, beating top-see Iansisle at home, no less.


Group 4
Total n Utter Insanity 2 - 1 Nova Britannicus
Aquiliana 3 - 1 Hisam

Yes, we lost, get over it. Though Dean Caliban has got off the scoresheet, the Navy-Blues lost to the Insanicians, current Under-21 Champions. Upstarts Aquiliana defeated newcomers Hisam, also.


Group 6
Kaze Progressa 1 - 1 Legalese
NEWI Cefn Druids 2 - 1 Chonchland

AOCAF5-hosting nation Legalese scored an impressive tie with 3rd-best nation Kaze Progressa, while the NEWI Cefn Druids barely scraped by, at home, to Chonchland. Did the best striker for the best Britannican team, Rhys Owens, score for the Druids? We don't know yet, but we'll see.


Group 8
The Lowland Clans 3 - 0 Antixilian Fatwah
Sarzonia 5 - 1 Middle March

The Fatwah were murded by the Allied States, while Sarzonia's scoreline was one of the more impressive of the day, though their opposition weren't. Five-One the scoreline.


Group 9
Bedistan 1 - 1 Big Pimento

Tiny Big Pimento managed a great away draw with the Bedistan Lions, which is good in anyone's book.


Group 10
Vilita 2 - 0 Finrods

Vilita kicked off with a routine win over Finrods, which is nothing special, just going by form.


Total (12 Matches):
AO Teams 28 - 12 Other Teams

All in all, not a bad day for the AOers, lets just make sure that we keep up this kind of a record over the next thirteen games, to make sure that Atlantian Oceania is the best and most dominant region in Football. For most of the AO teams, like Starblaydia, Vilita and the Druids, this won't be a problem. For the 'little guys' like us, Big Pimento and Legalese, it will be somewhat more of a test. Here's looking forward to the Grease showtune that is Wella, Wella, Wella, Huh! tomorrow on Matchday Two.
The Eagles Nest
30-11-2004, 01:09
TEN Ties Fmjphoenix 2 All

Log Jam in Group 5

Secour and Grotunia were able to get goals home to score two goals, but Nest keeper Gregor let two by, prompting talk of replacing him with backup keeper Leon Brown among fans today, as the vertern keeper of 4 cups may be losing a step. Coach Adams has said that he does not plan to change keepers at this time, but that he will always look at his team to make sure that the best players are out on the pitch.

A sudden cloudburst sent many fans home during the first half and the muddy field may have lead to at least three goals, one of them a penalty shot by Secour.

With the tie, we now have a log jam of teams tied at second place with ties everywhere in the group. This may prove to be a tougher group than expected.

On the home front, TENFA head Josh Adams is recovering froma nasty fall he took when his snowmobile flipped yesterday in the Everlundian Mountains. He is expected to be released in three days after getting many stiches in his leg and left arm and having surgury on his right foot to repair a torn tendon and a few broken bones.


Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Melmond 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3 42
2 The Eagles Nest 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1 40
3 Phazania 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1 40
4 Spaam 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1 40
5 Fmjphoenix 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1 40
6 Lennon Marx 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 40
7 One Red Dot 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 40
8 Kipto-Mare 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0 39


The Eagle's Nest Strike Bird Qualification Run
Matchday 1: The Eagle's Nest vs. Fmjphoenix Tie 2-2
Matchday 2: The Eagle's Nest @ Phazania
Matchday 3: The Eagle's Nest vs. Lennon Marx
Matchday 4: The Eagle's Nest @ Spaam
Matchday 5: The Eagle's Nest vs. One Red Dot
Matchday 6: The Eagle's Nest @ Kipto-Mare
Matchday 7: The Eagle's Nest vs. Melmond
-----------------------------------------------------
Matchday 8: The Eagle's Nest @ Fmjphoenix
Matchday 9: The Eagle's Nest vs. Phazania
Matchday 10: The Eagle's Nest @ Lennon Marx
Matchday 11: The Eagle's Nest vs. Spaam
Matchday 12: The Eagle's Nest @ One Red Dot
Matchday 13: The Eagle's Nest vs. Kipto-Mare
Matchday 14: The Eagle's Nest @ Melmond
Shonar Bangla
30-11-2004, 01:25
OOC: Bedistan, would you like to manage/handle the points table for Group 9? You know this stuff, we would appreciate it a lot, thanks!!

Also, all games you play in Shonar Bangla, will be played in capital city Murshidabad. Just FYI for future RP.
Adam Island
30-11-2004, 01:58
Adam Island Loses Match, 3-1

Eauz- Adam Island lost the first match of its World Cup qualifier to a dominant Eauz team, 3-1. Eauz is ranked number 12 in the world, and they creamed the overpowered rookie AI team.

Adam Islandian goalkeeper Paco Naccarato allowed 3 goals to go by, saving only one. Twilla Novello got AI's only goal of the game, working her quick feel to slip the ball past the defenders. Terrence Jhonson was credited with the assist.

The team was disappointed, but not too much so.

"We didn't come into this match expecting to win," said manager Deidra Gowin, "I feel like our team played very well considering this was our first game against an established opponent, and I believe my players feel proud in their accomplishment."

The next match will be in The ADAMDOME in Adam City, East Island against number 33 ranked Esth.
Eauz
30-11-2004, 02:00
Le LIBRE

Confusion starts off World Cup 19

Ten minutes before the last plane flight out of Eauz for the day, Les Bleus found out that they were going to be playing their first match in Eauz and that they didn’t have to fly anywhere. The coach said: “What a relief to hear that, because we didn’t want to get on that old plane which was built in Rejistania during the 1800’s.” Les Bleus took a train back to Le Stade d’Eauz, were they found out that they would play against a nation named Adam’s Island. Unknown to Eauz, or their fans, people assumed it was either a place like Guilligans Island or another one of those FOX survival games. Nonetheless, there seemed to be a group of football players who were well dressed.

At the stadium, Les Bleus, with a few changes in the line up from the last cup, as Les Bleus assumed they needed improve on defense. For the match, the spectator population was low, due to two things. There was a protest from Eauz fans to get their team to improve or they will not attend the match, and also because the Rejistanian leader was visiting Eauz, with people protesting the fact that their country is too much of a weak socialist country. As for the match, Les Bleus would use this match to get off to a good start and the hope to improve their slump in the past. Vasser started off with the ball sending it up the field towards past the weak central fielders. Getting control of the ball, Alia played around with it, trying to find an open person. Fortunatly, as they tried to double up Alia, Rousseau became open, and Alia sent a high pass to Rousseau. Rousseau headed the ball towards the net, going past the diving and putting Les Bleus up 1 – 0 at the 6th minute of play. As the match continued, Les Bleus were not impressed with the Islands effort, as Les Bleus were pressing and attacking more then they had to defend. During the 15th minute of play, another goal came from Rousseau who sent a long kick from outside of the penalty zone, going top shelf, giving Les Bleus a 2 – 0 lead. Les Bleus did not know why it was so easy this early in the match. The match started to slow down, as both teams ended up in a stale mate with no real attack from either side. Adam’s Island came close though with a long shot going off the right side of the crossbar. This was not a problem of bad or weak Eauz offense, as the shot was taken from a far distance. Just before the first half ended, Les Bleus added a 3rd goal as Vasser was knocked down, giving Alia the free kick in the penalty zone. Alia who is gold, scored the goal and Les Bleus were running away with this match due to the weak Adam’s Island defense. With the few Eauz fans in the stands, they were happy, but knew that Les Bleus were not to be trusted just of yet.

As the second half came, Les Bleus coach wanted his team to play more defensive, as they had a comfortable 3 – 0 lead. It was a very quiet second half though, as there was no real Eauz attack, as they played more keep away, rather than score. Adam’s Island offense was neither very strong, but due to a couple of mistakes by Eauz players defending against AI’s attacks; Les Bleus were given 3 yellow cards and 1 red card. The leader of AI’s team took a shot outside of the penalty zone, which went over the wall and curved into the net, giving AI their first goal of their first WC match. Les Bleus could not believe that they gave up a goal due to their incompetence. Eauz fans threw things on the field, in disbelief and hatred of their national team, but in the end, were happy to see their team win 3 – 1.

After the match, Les Bleus were forced off the field before celebrating, as the coach wanted them to practice defending. They got an hour break after the match, and were forced back to practice. The coach said: “I didn’t like what happened today, we were up 3 – 0, and our team started to play sloppy. We can’t give up easy goals like that. Today, we will concentrate on defense and preventing any easy goals from resulting.” Les Bleus coach is hoping that in their next match they will play a better defensive match. Below is the schedule, just recently given to the paper and the Eauz national team. The next match for Les Bleus will come in Hiiraan, another new team to the cup. After the long period of training for defense, the Hiiraan team better hope their offense is at its top because they might have trouble getting anything past Les Bleus defense.

Schedule

Match Day 1: Adam Island @ Eauz W 1 - 3
Match Day 2: Eauz @ Hiiraan
Match Day 3: Villapange @ Eauz
Match Day 4: Eauz @ The Evil Umpire
Match Day 5: Kylaai @ Eauz
Match Day 6: Eauz @ Esth
Match Day 7: Eauz @ Rejistania

Match Day 8: Eauz @ Adam Island
Match Day 9: Hiiraan @ Eauz
Match Day 10: Eauz @ Villapange
Match Day 11: The Evil Umpire @ Eauz
Match Day 12: Eauz @ Kylaai
Match Day 13: Esth @ Eauz
Match Day 14: Rejistania @ Eauz



Group F Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Eauz 3 1 0 0 3: 1 +2
2. Esth 3 1 0 0 3: 1 +2
3 Rejistania 3 1 0 0 3: 2 +1
4. Kylaai 1 0 1 0 2: 2 0
5. Villiapagne 1 0 1 0 2: 2 0
6. The Evil Umpire 0 0 0 1 2: 3 -1
7. Adam Island 0 0 0 1 1: 3 -2
8. Hiiraan 0 0 0 1 1: 3 -2
Shonar Bangla
30-11-2004, 04:17
November 29th, 2004
Column,
by
Harsha Bhogle
http://espnstar.com/jsp/cda/photo/upload/148055harsha-bio.jpg

The massive mix-up caused by FIFA regarding the venue of the Shonar Bangla vs. Bedistan qualifier has affected little harm overall. After the report from yesterday's Bedistan Sports Digest was made public nation-wide, long lines of millions appeared in a matter of hours outside the ticketing booths of the stadium, while frantic calls were also made to the Shonar Bangla Football Association for booking tickets. Overall, the stadium can seat 397,000 on hard wooden benches. However, taking into consideration all the people that will be standing, sitting on laps, sitting on the floor, watching from the 50 feet tall light towers, watching from the rooftops of the countless skyscrapers that surround the stadium on all sides, the number of spectators at the spot could very well exceed one and a half million.

The whole nation has got into a frenzy, but thanks to excessive police presence, no large-scale anarchous riots have broken out. Buying of flags are the least of nationalist expressions that are taking place in this nation known for its militant nationalism. In this traditionally ultra-conservative society, young men and women are expected to show up totally naked, painted and tattooed all over by the national colors.

The season is boom time for established faiths in the nation, as the largely agnostic masses are returning to God in throngs. Of these, the Anglican Church has seen the largest profit. Bangali Christians (2% of pop.) are popularly dubbed the fifth column of Shonar Bangla. However, the massive involvement of Bangali Christians in their church for the prayer of national pride has helped dispell all such treacherous notions in the secular republic.

Besides Bangalis, the entire region of India will be praying for the victory of Shonar Bangla over the Bedistani Lions, because Shonar Bangla is the only nation from India that is on the World Cup XIX.

The Bedistani Lions, if they wish to succeed in this excessively hostile environment, must learn to shut out the noise and concentrate on their game, although time and again, this has proved impossible for visiting teams at Murshidabad Maidan Stadium.
Fmjphoenix
30-11-2004, 07:59
Fmjphoenix heads home for home opener against Spaam

After a settling 2-2 draw with The Eagles Nest, The Vikings head home to open up against Spaam, playing them for the first time in Viking histroy. This Fmjphoenix team seems a lot more calm and relaxed, and more more harmonic with each other, unlike last World Cup, where they were feeling very disorganized and hectic.

"So far, I feel like our team has stepped up a notch and are really playing well. We have a good chemistry with each other and I think that will help us play better this Cup." Captian Jorge Mendel said during a brief press conference after the team arrived back in Fmjphoenix.

Many in the Kingdom of Fmjphoenix wondered if their football team would be ready. The kingdom has put lots of dabbus into their FPFA and all the affilate programs, making it and baseball the highest funded sports in Fmjphoenix.

Now that the team has returned home, fans and many other football watchers are ready to see what the potential of Fmjphoenix can be. Against Spaam, look for the Vikings to try and use their speedy players to outhustle the Spaam players for the ball and to attack from Spamm's side of the pitch. They will hit hard and often as they try to build an early lead and keep it throughout the whole match.

The team has allowed fans free entry into the Viking Training Facility to watch the team practice to raise attendence on home games, and the team is still having the 10,000 person travel to take less fortunte fans to the games in other nations. With the great support the team recieves from the fans, it helps them play better.

Fmjphoenix Vikings Schedule and Record
Matchday 1: Fmjphoenix @ The Eagles Nest Draw 2-2
Matchday 2: Fmjphoenix vs Spaam
Matchday 3: Fmjphoenix @ One Red Dot
Matchday 4: Fmjphoenix vs Melmond
Matchday 5: Fmjphoenix vs Phazania
Matchday 6: Fmjphoenix @ Lennon Marx
Matchday 7: Fmjphoenix vs Kipto-Mare
------------------------------------------
Matchday 8: Fmjphoenix vs The Eagles Nest
Matchday 9: Fmjphoenix @ Spaam
Matchday 10: Fmjphoenix vs One Red Dot
Matchday 11: Fmjphoenix @ Melmond
Matchday 12: Fmjphoenix @ Phazania
Matchday 13: Fmjphoenix vs Lennon Marx
Matchday 14: Fmjphoenix @ Kipto-Mare
Iansisle
30-11-2004, 09:36
Government Disavows Loss
“You’re all suffering from delusions,” Sir Gregory Penns-McCormick assures nation.

That didn't happen. That didn't happen. That didn't happen.

((seriously, I had no idea this was starting so quickly. I’ll have some real posts up tomorrow morning. ;)))
Liverpool England
30-11-2004, 09:41
OOC: I, as chairman of the World Cup's Communications Committee, would like to on behalf of the whole committee and myself apologise to the hosts (for not weeding out exnations), and the participants (for not telegramming and informing them about the cup).
Nonesuch Street
30-11-2004, 10:47
Tusks Beaten By Capitalizts
Not Such A Good Start For Nonesuch Street

Welcome to professional football - that was the message the Nonesuch footballers received after a 0-5 drubbing at the hands of the Commerce Heights Capitalizts. The amateurs of the Elementary League ad little to fight with as the Capitalizts ran them over by superior wages and recitements of economic theory.

Smith opened the scoring for the Capitalizts, grabbing the marginal advantage given to him by Boore before gaining maximum output from his shot. The crowd went wild, waving top hats and totally inflated yen notes in the air to celebrate the goal and their own wealth.

Nonesuch Street proceeded to fall to pieces in a highly depressing first half of international football. Friedman, Trump and another goal by Smith made it 0-4 at the interval - Hash-n-Beans-esque scores, as the crowd clearly appreciated by swapping totally inflated yen notes for cannabis plants.

Some relief and laugh was given to the Tusks, however, when manager A. M. Touring decided to abuse his diplomatic immunity. He was a pioneer in MLD science before turning to football coaching - similar to former bill Street U21 coach Siki Rej - and now he used this to "hack" into the loudspeaker system of the Capitalizts and play "the Internationale". The crowd reacted as one CEO, slapping their hands over their ears and running away at a very large velocity and momentum for such massive men.

The second half was played in front of three men and a dog - reputedly the only poor people in Commerce Heights, according to the government - and ended with Nonesuch keeper Highsenburg conceding yet another goal to Friedman.
Maserrat
30-11-2004, 11:07
Maserrat 2-0 Runaway Moose

Just as the team were in the Commodore Bowl changing room warming up for the match against Lethislavania, news filtered through that the Runaway Moose team had turned up instead. Unperturbed by the news, a quick change of tactics and a new pair of underwear had the team ready to face Group 3's bottom seeds. It was sensed as soon as the whistle blew that this was going to be a good opener for Maserrat, even without Slobodan Gresko's psychic (who tragically died in an unexpected car crash last night), and sure enough Maserrat outplayed the Canadian fauna all over the pitch. The difference in ranking stuck out like a very sore gangrenous thumb. "They say that there are no easy games any more - well that was one of them," said Karpova after the match.

The first goal was scored from a set piece, when Gyrokli Hamam was fouled on the left wing shortly after the half-hour mark. Zaqery Poskilka stepped up to take the kick, and what looked like a pass turned into a shot when the ball bounced across the wet turf and into the net, catching the keeper completely off-guard. "I meant to pass it, but it just skidded off the grass and went in. God was with me today," Poskilka said afterwards.

After another ten minutes of pressure the half-time whistle blew, and the players went in for the team talk. "I just told them to carry on doing what they were doing, and there was no doubt we would get a second," Karpova told our reporter just before the start of the second half.

The second period was very similar to the first, although Runaway Moose did have a rare shot on goal early in the half, a 25-yard shot that was comfortably collected by keeper Grady Waskowiec. After that the Moose seemed to be extinct, as the ball was in their half for the rest of the game, with Maserrat notching up an incredible 82% of the possession. There were few qualms that Maserrat would get a second, and on 74 minutes they did, a through-ball by Borle Xantoi finding the feet of wonder-boy Qostaze Ubuloy, and a curling shot into the top right-hand corner beyond the reach of the keeper. In the end, Maserrat were just passing the ball freely, the crowd cheering with every completed pass. The final whistle was followed by a standing ovation for the team, in what has to be one of their most dominating performances to date. "We have finally got some consistency in our results. I think after today we stand a good chance of getting to the finals, and believe we have a team capable of doing very well," Man-of-the-match Hamam said after the game was over. Maserrat are 3 points closer to Karpova's 25 point target, and look set to put up a strong fight to the top three teams, Iansisle, Crystilakere and Jerusalem.

Elsewhere in the group, Iansisle were shocked as they went down 2-1 to lowly Oceaice, Jerusalem placed their bid for progression with a 6-0 mauling of Lethislavania, and Crystilakere got the right result against 7JM , winning 3-1. One suspects that this group could be very close indeed, and all eyes are on Iansisle to pick themselves up after a disappointing first-day defeat.
Jeruselem
30-11-2004, 13:28
Jeruselem Government News

Rookie sees six stars

Lethislavania's first game in World Cup XIX was every eventful, for the wrong reasons. They faced Jeruselem who are ranked in the top 30, but never expected the result. The star of David has six stars and Jeruselem scored that amount. Lethislavania didn't get the benefit of leniency and goal-shy Jeruselem went crazy. Only two in the first half, but they scored four in the last 15 minutes of the game as the rookie defense tired out after relentless attacks.

Himie Silverstein spoke to his cousin and JGN report Anna Goldstein "Unbelievable! This is not quite the same as the 7-1 win previously in World Cup XIV, but at least we make chances and took advantage of them. It's a good start, but there's a long way to go. I don't expect this kind of win all the time, but it helps with the goal difference."

Oceaice shocked Iansisle 2-1 while Crystilakere beat 7Jm 3-1 and old friends Maserrat had a little trouble with a Runaway Moose but won 2-0 all the same. However the highlight was the Jeruselem 6-0 win on Match Day 1, but Oceaice's shows no game is predictable except for Australia beating New Zealand in the cricket.

Group 3
Iansisle 1 - 2 Oceaice
Crystilakere 3 - 1 7JM
Jeruselem 6 - 0 Lethislavania (Shamilahika Mawashimashoba 2, Abrams Skoko 1, Yasser Arafat 1, Adolt Hithur 1, John Gregorium 1 PK)
Maserrat 2 - 0 Runaway Moose
Druida
30-11-2004, 15:00
The Tribune Tribune
Serving Druid Tribune and the surrounding area

TAOK-EN TO THE CLEANERS
Trefor Blackmore on Druida 4 Taokoualu 0

The signs of another successful World Cup campaign, this time without the help of any adopted players, looked on the cards last night, as Taokoualu were ripped to shreds by the old Flexsys Cefn Druids pairing of Andrews and Vincent up front.

Both players scored two goals as the rainbows thrashed the newcomers by a whopping four goals to nil. The scoreline is Druida's most convincing win so far, and was evidence that Druida might just upset the rankings and finish in the top three again.

However, it wasn't all good news for Druida. While they currently top the group, the other three higher ranked teams, Squornshelous, Starblaydia and Krytenia, all won as well. So no surprises on the opening day. Next up for Druida, a slightly tougher task, indeed their toughest against a lower ranked side, as they go to Vorpal Bunnies. Surely, after the performance we have seen today, we won't be seeing a rabbitty win? Aparrently, they weren't too bad against Squornshelous, so we shall just have to wait and see.
EL CID THE HERO
30-11-2004, 15:08
OCC: as Munchkinloopa has not posted a roster i will godmod all events for this match

EL CID THE HERO 2 (kan 37 Huggy 57)
Munchkinloopa 0

With a new WC on the table it was left to the lions to try and get a good start, this they did with some skill against a new WC team.

It was a very one sided match with the lions taking on all the presser that Munchkinloopa could put on them. The same could not be said for the Munchkinloopa defenders. with Trotter, Kan and Brown all geting 3 shoots on goal. however the keeper kept blocking them again and again. but in the
37th min Sid kan bypased the keeper and then it was just a case of sloting it into the net.

To be fair to the Munchkinloopa side in the seconed half they kept their shape and only let 3 shoots on goal and a few good chances for themselves. but the final goal was got in the 57 when Huggy Dash managed to intersept the goal kick as it lef the keepers foot and the ball only had one way to go.

"Of corse i am very happy to have scored on my WC dabut," He said with a smile on his face at full time. "and i think that Doomhammer will enjoy his first win.

With NEWI Cefn Druids and The Weegies both winning the lions are level on 3 points each. But with a +2 goal diff the lions lead. next Stop Sliponia.

READ AND YOU WILL FIND

Group 6
Kaze Progressa 1 - 1 Legalese
NEWI Cefn Druids 2 - 1 Chonchland
EL CID THE HERO 2 - 0 Munchkinloopa
The Weegies 1 - 0 Sliponia




Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 EL CID THE HERO 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3 42
2 NEWI Cefn Druids 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3 42
3 The Weegies 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3 42
4 Kaze Progressa 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 40
5 Legalese 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 40
6 Chonchland 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0 39
7 Sliponia 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0 39
8 Munchkinloopa 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0 39





MD1
EL CID THE HERO 2 - 0 Munchkinloopa

MD2
Sliponia v EL CID THE HERO

MD3
EL CID THE HERO v Legalese

MD4
Chonchland v EL CID THE HERO

MD5
Kaze Progressa v EL CID THE HERO

MD6
EL CID THE HERO v NEWI Cefn Druids

MD7
The Weegies v EL CID THE HERO
The Lowland Clans
30-11-2004, 15:52
GRAHAM CITY SUN - Ho hum, we win again, Ho Hum...
Pontoon Perry, Resident sports expert and all-around azzhole

Meh. That one word sums up this whole game. Meh. Our team is getting old, and it showed a bit, but we still dominated the n00bs from Antixilian Fatwah. But the stadium announcer couldn't pronounce their name. That was kinda funny. Meh. I'm bored. Oh, we did pretty well without Kevin Landingham, whose monster foot retired from all play last year.

All the goals came in the second half, coming off some pretty nice shots by Niko Ijas, Pavel Julios, and Peter Bearclaw. Meh. Word of the day: Meh.

Our competition? Meh. Only one really worth mentioning is Audioslavia. Meh.
--------------------------------------------------------------
TLC Stars 3 - 0 Antixilian Fatwah
Ijas, 53rd Minute, no assist
Julios, 65th Minute, Rose assist
Bearclaw, 71st Minute, Bearclaw assist
--------------------------------------------------------------
Top Scorers

Ijas 1
Julios 1
Bearclaw 1

TLC Stars vs Antixilian Fatwah, W 3-0
Middle March vs TLC Stars
TLC Stars vs Zvarinograd
Slaikau vs TLC Stars
TLC Stars vs Lykaia
Sarzonia vs TLC Stars
Audioslavia vs TLC Stars
Antixilian Fatwah vs TLC Stars
TLC Stars vs Middle March
Zvarinograd vs TLC Stars
TLC Stars vs Slaikau
Lykaia vs TLC Stars
TLC Stars vs Sarzonia
TLC Stars vs Audioslavia
Tadjikistan
30-11-2004, 16:06
Tadjikistan 2 - 0 Nastic

Dushanbe - The Tadjikistan Tigers started their World Cup against one of the two weakest teams in Group 10. Nastic, ranked 150th and unknown to Zhukov and his men. But as the Tigers already in Druida, The match is over when its over. The Tigers preferred to play cautious and the first half of the game was not the best the Tigers played in their long existence. Nastic wreated several good moves and impressed the Tadjiks, but Voronov remained unemployed most of the time.
The Tadjik attackers quickly learned that they were superior and at the end of the first half they set up their first maneuvres. Gasparian hit the top bar and Koshevoi found the Nastician goalkeeper on his way. When ref Collins put an end to the first 45 minutes, there was still a big 0-0 on the scoreboard.

The second half was much better, with the Tadjik going agressively of the ball, moving up with long passes. In the 60th minute this resulted in a pass to Lavrinovich, who had worked himself free. He accepted the shot, controlled it with his knee and kicked it into the left corner of the box. The Nastician team could only watch as it happened, as their opponent possessed more experience on this level and used it to its best advantage.

The Tigers knew they were close to the three points and made several runs on the sides, hoping to finish off their opponents. The Nasticians got over the shock from that first goal and defended fiercly, at moments close to getting a yellow card. Kirponos found that out when he was tackled near the Nastician goal, when he nearly scored. two minutes later it was Zaevs turn to get blocked and injured to his head in a duel with the Nastician defenders, he was sent to the side by Collins but returned to the field once he got treated by the stadium doctor.

The Tigers secured their first win when Koshevoi scored in the 82th minute, a shot from the center that deflected Nastician leg. the Nastician goalkeeper tried to stop it but he couldnt reach it anymore, Nastic knew it was over. Defeated but not dissapointed, they knew it would be hard. The Nastician left the field with their heads up.

Group 10
Vilita 2 - 0 Finrods
Dance 2 Revolution 3 - 1 Giant Zucchini
Tadjikistan 2 - 0 Nastic
Oaker 5 - 2 Piquantrax

MD1: Tadjikistan - Nastic W 2-0
MD2: Giant Zucchini - Tadjikistan
MD3: Tadjikistan - Finrods
MD4: Piquantrax - Tadjikistan
MD5: Vilita - Tadjikistan
MD6: Tadjikistan - Dance 2 Revolution
MD7: Oaker - Tadjikistan
MD8: Nastic - Tadjikistan
MD9: Tadjikistan - Giant Zucchini
MD10: Finrods - Tadjikistan
MD11: Tadjikistan - Piquantrax
MD12: Tadjikistan - Vilita
MD13: Dance 2 Revolution - Tadjikistan
MD14: Tadjikistan - Oaker
Big Pimento
30-11-2004, 16:45
Live At The Fillmore
Futility Kings off to cracking start for qualification

After a performance four years ago which saw Big Pimento crumble underneath the lofty expectations set for them, they nearly made up for several years of ineptitude with one strong match. In a performance reminiscent of the original Big Pimento team, this squad were able to rejoin with their stiff tackling roots and gave Bedistan one hell of a match.

In front of a crowd of 150,000 strong at Fillmore National Stadium, the Bedistani Lions came out firing on all cylinders. Big Pimento were on their heels from the start of the match, but the back line held firm as they thwarted a good number of the Lions' chances. Bedistan caught a break in the 26th minute, when that red-breasted robin, Sven Cardinal, was able to slip behind the defense and put one past Pedro Madhavapeddi. Madhavapeddi was badly out of position and could have done little to stop the clinical strike from the experienced Cardinal. Bedistan were up one.

After a first half where Big Pimento was badly outplayed but thankfully down only by one, the Futility Kings seemed to come out with a bit more zeal in the second, after a fiery speech by manager Karl Klune at the half. Big Pimento's offense, which had been in hibernation to this point, began to see more of the ball and began to create some quality chances. Omore Ngogadi played a superb ball past the Bedistani back line to Boris Valentine, which he greeted with his left foot and then prompty introduced it to the back of the net. However, the second official had put his flag up for good reason and the goal was disallowed. Everyone on both sides seem to be in agreeance with this call except for Rufus "Red" Southgate. Southgate sprinted over to the second official and began shouting profanities at him. This warranted Southgate a yellow card. The head referee then became the butt of Southgate's insults, and despite the Pimento's best efforts to restrain Rufus, he got shown the red card. As Red Southgate was being escorted off the pitch, he tore the flag from the official's hand which made the offside call and threw it into the crowd. No word yet if any further suspension will come of that outburst.

Now a man down, it appeared as though the chances for the Futility Kings to draw even were gone. After seven solid minuted of Bedistani possession, Ricardo Nguyen stripped Nick Yu and started a counter attack as he played a good ball to Selecao. No Bedistani seemed to want to cover Selecao as he ran up the field from midfield to almost to the box. Finally, substitute defender Wes Lipinski decided to try to strip the ball from Selecao, but the Pimento midfielder threaded the needle between Lipinski and another defender to hit Bong Jong-Il on the left. Jong-Il then collected the ball and kicked the ball towards the far post, sliding it underneath Bedistani keeper, Nick Reagan. The Futility Kings had drawn even!

The Jong-Il equaliser either awoke Bedistan from their slumber or maybe really pissed them off, because they came back with a vengence after that goal. Out of fear of seeing a possible three points against the lowly Pimentos shrink down to one, the Lions began peppering Madhavapeddi with shots. However, Madhavapeddi might as well have been on the beach back home sipping Singapore Slings, as all of Bedistan's shots were either blocked or off-target. The Futility Kings escaped the Lions' den with a point.

"I'm not sure if we caught them cold and out of game shape, but they seemed to lack that killer instinct they've shown before," said captain Boris Valentine, "This is a huge confidence booster, we played hard and showed we won't be intimidated and we can steal points from the best on any given night. I hope this result will give us some respect at home and abroad."

Big Pimento's next match will be against Raptor Claw, another team who stumbled out of the gates after managing only a tie against heavy underdogs, Shonar Bangla. If Big Pimento plays another solid match and Raptor Claw comes out playin uninspired ball like tonight, expect the Pimentos to perhaps pull another upset.

Manager And Player Fight After Game
Karl Klune and Red Southgate exchange fists after 1-1 draw

After Monday night's match, disappointed Lions' supporters saw a bizarre situation unfold between Big Pimento's Bench Boss and the ejected Rufus Southgate. According to eye witnesses, Southgate was forced to run laps around the colossal Fillmore Stadium, as Karl Klune followed him closely in his car. As Southgate ran around the Fillmore, Klune was said to be shouting at his player. Insults like "Your f*cking indiscipline almost cost us the game!", "Not so big now, Southgate!?", "If your mom wasn't such a whore, I wouldn't have to be doing this!" could be heard from the stadium's parking lot. After about four or five laps around the stadium, Southgate had enough, as he turned around, stared Klune right in the eyes and flipped him off with both hands. Angered at this show of bravado, Klune stopped the car and came charging out at his player. The two men rolled around on the ground, exchanging punches until stadium security was able to seperate them.

After the incident, Klune acted as if there was no bad blood at all between the two men. "I like that Southgate kid," said Klune at the post-game conference, sporting a shiner under his left eye, "He's got spunk. He lays down for nobody and he's willing to pay the price to win. He kind of reminds me of myself when I was younger. It's guys like that I want on my team."

Even if it appears Southgate and Klune have resolved their problems, Rufus Southgate will still be out of the line-up against Raptor Claw. His red card brings about a mandatory one-game suspension, so he definately won't see any action at least until Big Pimento plays Snub Nose 38. Expect Mike Preville to take Southgate's place for their next match against Raptor Claw.
Giant Zucchini
30-11-2004, 16:50
Zucchini Resurrection:
Episode 2: Tolar’s Eleven

Mr Daiks: Welcome to the live telecast of Giant Zucchini’s first World Cup qualifying match since the collapse. Alongside me is Kevin Keegle…sorry, Keggy Keegle. So, the first match away against a top 20 team, it’s not easy playing here is it?

Mr Keegle: Not many teams will come to D2R and get anything, home or away.

Mr Daiks: Well, for a team in rebuilding, Mr Tolar has quite a selection of players to choose from.

Mr Keegle: In a country as big as Giant Zucchini, you get bunches of players like you do bananas, though that is a bad comparison.

Mr Daiks: Now, if you look on the screen, we’ve captured some shots of the team in training, and have singled out Gominsha as the real threat for D2R.

Mr Keegle: He'll also be very dangerous from set-pieces. That means he'll be a threat from free-kicks and corners in the final third of the field.

Mr Daiks: OK, The players are out on the pitch, just before the game starts, what do you think are the Zucchinis’ chances today?

Mr Keegle: Giant Zucchini have three options, they could win or they could lose. But if they get anything out of this match then it would be a big surprise, but then nothing surprises me in football these days.

Mr Daiks: And now we have to go for a commercial break, when we come back, Dance 2 Revolution against Giant Zucchini, live. Stay with us.

7 minutes into the game…

Mr Daiks: …and this is Sharleston, regaining possession in his own half. Tearing down the centre, past one, past another, and all the defenders sliding around him, they can’t get the ball off him, and he’s clear and he smashes the ball into the net, the Zucchinis ahead so early in the game!

Mr Keegle: The tide is very much in our court now.

22 minutes into the game…

Mr Daiks: …here comes D2R, marauding through the Zucchini defence…

Mr Keegle: …using his strength. And that is his strength, his strength.

Mr Daiks: He’s clear of the defence now and just chips a curler over Oshin. Good goal by D2R to equalise.

43 minutes into the game…

Mr Keegle: The game has gone rather scrappy as both sides realise they could win this match or lose it.

Mr Daiks: D2R in possession here, Mave tackles, he goes to ground, but D2R pouncing on the loose ball, and Oshin beaten again here, its 2-1 D2R.

Mr Keegle: Despite his white boots, he has real pace…

46 minutes into the game…

Mr Daiks: And that’s the half time whistle, after a great goal by Sharleston, the Zucchinis are behind here. A disappointing end to the match.

Mr Keegle: I'm not disappointed…just disappointed.

Mr Daiks: What do you think has happened here?

Mr Keegle: We managed to wrong a few rights.

Mr Daiks: And the second half is about to begin, any thoughts on what’s we’re going to see in the second half?

Mr Keegle: There are two schools of thought on the way the rest of this half is going to develop; everybody's got their own opinion…

53 minutes into the game…

Mr Daiks: …and D2R has a free kick here, the referee is going to book Badenfauer for that challenge.

Mr Keegle: It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket. Every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card.

Mr Daiks: And he takes, hits Sarnos and deflects into the net. Oshin had no chance. Wicked shot.

Mr Keegle: A tremendous strike which hit the defender full on the arm…and it nearly came off.

92 minutes into the game…

Mr Daiks: And that’s the final whistle, the free kick finishing off the Zucchinis in their first match of WC!9 qualifying.

Mr Keegle: Discipline is not only very important, it's crucial.

Mr Daiks: This is only the first match; things can turn around during the latter stages of qualifying.

Mr Keegle: It's understandable that people are keeping one eye on the pot and another up the chimney.

Mr Daiks: And with that we finish off the day’s coverage of World Cup qualifying, goodbye.


------------------------TO BE CONTINUED------------------------

The Green Ripper strikes back at:
Escape to Slavery
Alien Resurrection
Manchester United vs Arsenal
The Matrix
Digital Fortress
Great Expectations
Ocean’s Eleven
Kevin Keegan
Audioslavia
30-11-2004, 17:25
Slaiku Snore
'Slaves uninspiring in opening game

A Haiku about Slaiku
We're hampered by strains
Of chains slung around our necks
Binding t'unguided
By an Audioslavian football fan, speaking about the managerless 'slaves' game with Slaiku

The SNA was hardly jam-packed for the game, just thirty-eight thousand spectactors watched as Audioslavia struggled to put away a Slaiku side sixty places below Audioslavia in the rankings.

The only goal of the game came in the seventieth minute, coincidently the only real breakthrough by either side in the whole match. Petr Rijsbergen crossed the ball into the box for Oliver Dannes. Dannes missed his header completely, but McLlroy managed to slide in and get a toe to the ball to send it past the keeper.

A match the 'slaves will want to forget, but they will be thankful for the win at least. Harder times are ahead.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 1 (McLlroy 68)
Slaiku 0
Sarzonia
30-11-2004, 18:11
Stars incensed at Lowland Clans comment

While the Sarzonian national team was preparing for its match against sixth seeded Antixilian Fatwah, they got a little bit more bulletin board material from the second seeds in their group, The Lowland Clans, who said top seeded Audioslavia was the only team "really worth mentioning."

"Where have they been," midfielder Darwin Russell asked incredulously. "We're 32nd ranked in the world and we've beaten more highly ranked teams before. It sounds like more of that 'weekend footballers' crap we heard a few years ago."

Coach Dave Wilson implored the Stars not to look past their region mates in Antixilian Fatwah, reminding the team of its 5-2 loss to Legalese in the previous World Cup and its opening loss to The Redavic Union in the Eagle Cup.

"We can't afford to get into a war of words," Wilson said. "We need to focus on football, not on what people think about us. The best revenge is on the football field. We need to maintain our focus on our goals, and that includes making the World Cup finals. We can't afford to think about people like Pontoon Perry or Jeremy Jaffcake or Margaret."

The team is also trying to maintain its intensity after an easy 5-1 win over Middle March where it tied a national record for most goals in a match.

"Just because we won a single match doesn't mean anything as far as the World Cup," midfielder Bobby Convey said. "We've still got a lot of work to do and we have to win matches against the teams we're supposed to beat and at least hold our own against the teams higher than us."
Kaze Progressa
30-11-2004, 19:49
No Progressan team, surely, could match that of World Cup 18.

So this one didn't even try.

They turned up in all-white with no names. They were largely the same players but, still in shock at how the nation had emerged as one of the great footballing powers, the KPFA refused to use the same kits. Besides, all the old green ones had been sold to collectors. Or at least some. It later transpired that the team were wearing the team's Test cricket kits - albeit without the pads and helmets - to promote the Legalese tour of Kaze Progressa. Given that all these matches will be one-day games with coloured kits this tactic does seem slightly odd.

In any case, Lambert opened the scoring for Legalese on 25 minutes with a shot from around that many yards; Sani Luvo - the only hat-trick hero in World Cup final history, albeit on the losing side - equalised three minutes later. Thereafter, the Progressans in white kit played a very clean game, not conceding any fouls, but rarely threatening.

The new kit will hence be a darker shade of green than the WC18 kit, to encourage more aggressive play. The full design will be unveiled tomorrow, as will the squad for upcoming fixtures.
Praying2God
30-11-2004, 19:50
WARRIORS RETURN AFTER RESOLVING CIVIL UNREST

The Praying2God Warriors are announcing their return to the soccer world after a lengthy period of civil unrest has been resolved. They plan to return to WC action beginning with WC XX.
Dance 2 Revolution
30-11-2004, 20:53
Match Day 1

Ok, here it starts, Dance 2 Revolution’s 7th World Cup Campaign. MD1 vs. Giant Zucchini.

In the 7th minute, Sharleston managed to take the ball from his own half, around Qi and Jiangin to bring him to a 1-on-1 with Day, and he smashed it into the top corner for 1-0.

The Revolutionaries took 15 minutes until they came up with a reply, Yurijionto, who has replaced now-manager of D2R Maeda’s position, using his formidable strength to move to goal then, seeing the goalkeeper slightly off his line, hitting a curling chip into the corner for 1-1.

Just before the half, the Revolutionaries took the lead through Kehsoot, who purely hit the ball into the goal after it came loose with a challenge on Über by Mave, Zucchini goalkeeper Oshin had no chance since he had saw it late. 2-1.

The Revolutionaries 3rd goal came from a free-kick in the 53rd minute, awarded after Badenfauer, who was booked, had fouled Maeda Jnr. Über took the free kick with high velocity, the ball struck Sarnos on his arm, sending the ball in a completely different direction to the dive of Oshin. Could be classed as a Sarnos own goal, but Über will claim it. 3-1

Final Score:
Dance 2 Revolution 3(Yurijionto 22’, Kehsoot 43’, Über 53’)
Giant Zucchini 1(Sharleston 7’)

Day 1: Dance 2 Revolution 3 – 1 Giant Zucchini
Day 2: Nastic - Dance 2 Revolution
Day 3: Dance 2 Revolution – Pinquantrax
Day 4: Finrods – Dance 2 Revolution
Day 5: Dance 2 Revolution – Oaker
Day 6: Tadjikistan - Dance 2 Revolution
Day 7: Vilita - Dance 2 Revolution
Day 8: Giant Zucchini - Dance 2 Revolution
Day 9: Dance 2 Revolution – Nastic
Day 10: Pinquantrax - Dance 2 Revolution
Day 11: Dance 2 Revolution – Finrods
Day 12: Oaker - Dance 2 Revolution
Day 13: Dance 2 Revolution – Tadjikistan
Day 14: Dance 2 Revolution – Vilita

Next Matchday:
Dance 2 Revolution travel to Nastic on Matchday 2, hoping to avoid conceding early goals, like they have struggled to avoid in the last 2 World Cups. We should win Pinquantrax, but then again…we SHOULD have not conceded 6 goals against Rejistania…and we still did it. We will take nothing for granted, and look forward to what might happen. Matchday 2 will be anticipated by football fans over D2R
Vilita
30-11-2004, 21:45
[---------------- End Of Matchday 1 Rp --------------------]
Rejistania
30-11-2004, 21:57
OOC: No roster for TEU, I assume names are similar to former rosters.

Qualifiers start Evil

The Oreange-Blues played against the Evil Umpire in a home game. The Matix Veran Stadium was completely sold out for this match since it was the first match of the new Orange-Blues and everyone wanted to know whether this team can fulfil the high expectations, which a team faces after winning the world cup two consecutive times (no matter how pessimistic its fans normally are). The quick answer: no!

The Evil Umpire is a team of evil vampire tea-bags, their fans tried unsuccessfully to smuggle incredible amounts of rocks and garbage into the stadium and later it was known that the referee was mobbed by evil tea-bags on his way to the stadium. These events can give you an idea of how desperately the Evil Umpire wanted to win. The referee was (for obvious reasons) biased in favor of the Umpire. When Salakerijasamenatira "Sa" Harakemindanutikejil nearly shot the lead goal for the Orange-Blues, the referee saw an offside position of Viji Ahi~n, only he was able to see. The first goal, which was actually seen by the referee was in the 23rd minute when Iljitcz-Uljanov Teabag exploited a weakness in the rejistani defense. The Orange-Blues had problems in this match because the type of match, the Evil Umpire played can hardly be described as fair. Many fouls were simply overlooked, unless they were committed by rejistanis. In the 42nd minute, Viktor-Yanukovich Teabag had another good chance to extend the lead due to a penlty kick for... let's say 'dubious' reasons. The half time score was 0:2 and fans were angry.

The second half was different from the first one in several aspects: the rejistani fans threw their empty cans of coke and lychee-juice at the teabags and the referee. This "balance of power" caused the bias of the referee to be expressed much less. "Sa" was the first one to profit from that: He outsmarted soome teabags, shot the ball in the upper left corner of the goal and the referee counted it. After a rude foul of Jong-Il Teabag, a penalty kick for the Orange-Blues was awarded. Sasijilvenku "Sasi" Dikelesinivetisaru took it and shot is past goalie Nero Teabag. In the dying minutes of the match, and after 'evil System Karela' from the evil teabags, "Sa" was able to increase the score and make this abysmal match at least a win for the Orange-Blues.

The result:
Rejistania 3 (Harakemindanutikejil 48th 88th, Dikelesinivetisaru 59th)
The Evil Umpire 2 (Iljitch-Uljanov Teabag 23rd, Viktor-Yanukovich Teabag)
Sarzonia
30-11-2004, 22:08
Stars dimmed in loss

Coach Dave Wilson was sure the Sarzonian national team would be focused after an embarrassing performance at the Eagle Cup in a tune up for this World Cup. His team had reminders of its losses to lower-ranked teams in recent cups and constant reminders about staying focused. However, the Stars played as if they couldn't wait to return home in a 2-1 loss at Zvarinograd that left Wilson fuming.

"The lads swore up and down they would be focused for this match and you saw what happened," Wilson said in clipped tones, barely maintaining his composure. "We played like dirt against a team we should have walked over. Some guys are going to get my foot planted squarely in their butts."

The team broke down in all phases of the game according to assistant coach Barry Owens.

"Defense, midfield, attack, we just didn't get the job done out there," Owens said. "There's only so much you can do before you realize that it's just not meant to be in a particular match. We're probably going to burn the tapes from this match and just forget about it and try to move on from here."

The Stars seemed to get off to a promising enough start. Midfielder Darwin Russell sent a beautiful through ball into the box in the 17th minute that found the boot of forward Barry Alphonso and he cleverly slid the ball behind the Zvarinograd goalkeeper for a 1-0 lead the Stars seemed content to sit on. However, Zvarinograd came back and applied intense pressure, finally getting a ball past goalkeeper Troy Perkins in the 43rd minute to send the match to the half levelled at 1.

Wilson implored his team to pick the intensity back up and they listened for about 15 minutes, getting three shots on goal before giving up the second Zvarinograd goal on a counter attack in the 63rd minute. From there, the Stars finally started to apply pressure but could never again dent the back of the net, leading to the 2-1 scoreline.

"We're going to be spending a lot more time in training tomorrow," Owens said. "If we lose another game we have no business losing, it's going to be a long tournament for a lot of the guys."
Shonar Bangla
30-11-2004, 22:19
November 30, 2004
Murshidabad, Shonar Bangla--- After a giant of a homecoming welcome to the Shonar Bangla time early morning in Murshidabad, the team and the world were shocked to find themselves locked into a game against Snub Nose 38, instead of the expected Bedistan. The chaos was neither's fault, but it seems that Snub Nose 38 had earlier wind of this mix-up, and was prepared with a game-plan targetted at Shonar Bangla.

However, the dismal show put on by the Shonar Bangla in front of a 1,502,398 nationalists found the team searching for excuses. The team was steamrolled by Snub Nose 38, who true to their rank, came out with a truly professional show amidst all the hostility. All three goals were scored convincingly, the scoreline could itself have been a lot worse had it not been for some of the off-sides called by the referee (who was in fear of his life). In Scottish time, Shonar Bangla finally scored a goal, in what seemed to be a let-go from the Snub Noses.

For the first time, a humbled and embarrassed manager Rana Ali went on the record with, "We have no excuses except this is our first international tournament with teams that mean business. This is only the second game, and we are looking to bounce back in Lovisa. As usual, we are looking to win, because here, we have little to lose."

In an hour, the team boarded its flight for Lovisa, where it expects to rebound from its recent slump. Currently, Shonar Bangla has now lost 2 of its last 3 football matches, and not won a single one.
Shonar Bangla
30-11-2004, 23:19
November 30, 2004
by Shonar Bangla Media Spokesperson, Harsha Bhogle

Harsha: Here we are on flight SB-500 aboard the spacious Boeing-777 aircraft, on the long journey from Murshidabad to Lovisa, all the way in Europe. Bongo Bimar Airways, a partially owned airline company of Shonar Bangla, has given away tickets at a hundredth of their price, to accompany the team to Lovisa and be at the grounds. The mood here is upbeat despite the crushing received earlier today.

(patriotic songs like Joy Bangla, O amar shonar Bangla, Bondemataram are being sung over and over again, making everything else inaudible)

(Harsha makes way to a beaming Utsav Banerjee, goal-keeper of the team)

Harsha: Utsav, can you describe the emotions around here, especially amongst your team members?

Utsav: We were disappointed today, but that is to be expected, especially with the mix-up we had today. We don't wanna think about it right now, this season, we've had a fabulous record of 2-3-2, along with the Indo-03 just a few months ago. Look, we are back amongst our people after a long time, their support in Lovisa will be crucial.

Harsha: Well, continue having fun, any last words?

Utsav: Yeah, JOY BANGLA!!

(Harsha makes way towards elderly manager Rana Ali, who is seen sitting with skipper Hussein and veteran Mallik, with a clipboard full of football field maps)

Harsha: Mr. Ali, can we have a word?

Ali: Sure, wassup?

Harsha: Well, it seems you three are the only team-members here that are working on tomorrow's game. Anything new coming up tomorrow?

Ali: Not really, we were just figuring out how Snub Nose 38 scored their three goals. Mallik here and me, we just discovered a slick strategy used by them. No, we have not finalized anything yet. We will see if what we learned from them works for us, make some changes, or make combinations, or do what we usually do. I don't know yet, too many variables. The whole team needs to come together on this.

Harsha: Wouldn't now be the perfect time to gather and work, because we all know the team is going clubbing tonight in Lovisa, and sight-seeing today evening?

Ali: No, we'll make time. Let them enjoy for now, all work and no play makes Jak a dull boy. They haven't seen their own people for a long time. The players have also brought their wives and girlfriends along this time, I doubt they are going clubbing tonight. If they do, something is wrong with their wives.

Harsha: Okay Rana, thank you for giving us your attention, any last words?

Ali, Hussein and Mallik: Amra korbo joy!! (we shall overcome)

Harsha: Well, there you have it, despite the mincemeating they got, the team has no lack of morale. They certainly have heart. We are landing in Lovisa in the next half hour. A brief sight-seeing tour has been arranged for the team, and now word is coming in, Ali has officially called for a practice session at the Lovisa National Stadium tonight, therefore calling off any "fun".
Rejistania
30-11-2004, 23:50
<expletive deleted>

The Orange-Blues lost their second match of this qualifiers 1:2 against Adam Island, a team which has no more experience than one Baptism of Fire tournament, a team, which has a rank, which is nearly three digit, a team... well, to shorten my rant: a team you would expect to trounce easily. This loss showed the decline of rejistani football. The defending world champions now can only hope that they will avoid missing qualification in a too embarrassing way. In the press conference, SyLy found drastic words: "This match was <expletive deleted> and we all know that. Either we really, really, really, improve or we will 'do a Ravea'!" (here he refers to the nation of Ravea, which did not win or draw any match in the 17th World Cup).

The match started bad for the Orange-Blues, the Islanders dominated the match in the beginning and the Orange-Blues (well, the substitutes of the main team) were pretty much outplayed. Menik Hisda parried a shot of Twila Novello in the 4th minute, but three minutes later, he was not lucky enough to do so when Adelaide Haakenson had her first chance in the match after an assist of Terrence Jhonson. The Orange-Blues attacked fiercely but the defense of the Islanders kept things from happening. In the 32nd minute, Jentu Minikse equalized rather with luck than with skill: a shot of Jariakeledema Ky-Inidiviayu was reflected at the goal post and then at Minikse'he's chest before the ball went in. I do not want to tell the events after the 60th minute, because you saw it on TV, heard it on the radio or saw it live. It would simply be to cruel to me to recapitalute again the humilitaing 1:2.

The result:
<CENSORED FOR DECENCY>
Svecia
30-11-2004, 23:57
VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

WE KNOW HOW YOU FEEL REJISTANA
Massive first round upset offset by yesterday´s win

Svecia 0, Haperd 1
Nonesuch Street 1, Svecia 3

- Coming off the biggest upset Svecia has faced since losing to Artoonia the last match of last Cup´s qualifyers, Svecia brought their A game into Nonesuch street.

Helped greatly by their rock Mikael Solskjaer in front, the Lightning got off to an early 2-0 lead with a penalty goal and a free kick goal from their star striker.

Nonesuch Street briefly made the match a competition with a 68th minute strike, but the Svecikan defense closed down any Nonesuch offensive movement in the final 20 minutes and Hannes Ljungberg put in the final goal in the 79th minute to bring Svecia´s record even.
Starblaydia
01-12-2004, 00:12
Just What the Doctor Ordered
Starblaydia go two for two and a second clean sheet

A brace from Jakkinho, one free-kick from Evans and young Nick Matranga with his first from the bench chalked up Starblaydia's four goals, while for the second game in succession Starblaydia's defence held firm against the 'onslaught' of Lexmarak, which appeared to consist of one lard-arse centre-forward with sharp elbows and a short-arse runt who liked kicking Tommas Piper more than the ball.

Starblaydia now turn their attentions to Remich, or should it be Taokoualu. Wait, let me check the schedule. No, not that one, the correct one. Oh right. Yep, its time to host a team at the loudest stadium in Starblaydia, Silverlands, home of the Corinthian Spirits. The closed-in atmposphere right up against the pitch should really put the willies up them. So to speak. Are we talking about smoking kippers again?

Anyway, now's the time to chant 'We are topoftheleague, say we are topoftheleague!' quite loudly and out of synch from the Silverlands stadium, something that fans in Corinth haven't been able to chant for a long time. Sorry, life-long Daii fan here.

Final Score from Lexmarak:
Lexmarak 0 - 4 Starblaydia
(None) - (Jakkinho 34 + 67, Evans 41, Matranga 84)


Group 1
Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
----------------------------------------
Starblaydia 2 2 0 0 7 0 +7 6
Druida 2 2 0 0 5 0 +5 6
Krytenia 2 1 1 0 6 3 +3 4
Squornshelous 2 1 1 0 5 4 +1 4
Dead Rockstars 2 0 1 1 3 6 -3 1
Taokoualu 2 0 1 1 3 7 -4 1
Vorpal Bunnies 2 0 0 2 1 3 -2 0
Lexmarak 2 0 0 2 0 7 -7 0
Nova Britannicus
01-12-2004, 01:07
Seaford Strike Steals Points from Wella

Substitute Royal Seaford came on and stole Nova Britannicus' third ever qualifying win. Though we've beaten The Evil Umpire and the Halfassedstates before, this win over 45th-ranked Wella was, well, a big victory, and twenty-two yer-old Seaford came on to steal a late, late winner at the far post after the Navy Blues had been pegged back.

Reginald 'Reggie' Winthrop put Nova Britannicus into the lead in the second half, but Wella quickly pulled one back with a crucial goal. Then Seaford was thrown on and the rest is sporting history.

Nova Britannican Sporting History, at least. All we need now is more than one more win and four draws and we'll have bettered our World Cup 18 Qualifying Record, which wasn't much to shout about.

As long as Liverpool England don't put nine goals past us in two matches, we'll consider the Navy-Blues team much improved.

Wait, we're playing Aquliana again as well? Can the officials not be bothered to change the Groups much or something? Bah.
Fmjphoenix
01-12-2004, 01:17
Vikings win in home opener 1-0 over Spaam

Playing in their second World Cup, The Fmjphoenix Vikings earned their first win in World Cup 19 much earlier than in World Cup 18, defeating Spaam 1-0 in their second game, the home opener.

This match belonged to Powell Lamar, as he held Spaam scoreless, including a catch of a great shot by Forward #3 that preserved the victory as time stoppage concluded at the end of the second half. For most of the first half, neither team could get anything going big, as the ball went back and forth all 45 minutes, neither team scoring in the first half. As the second half opened up, the Vikings got the ball and rarely gave it back. The lone goal of the match was at the 73rd minute when Mike Nolan passed up to Jorge Mendel, who shook off Spaam Defender #14 and had a one-on-one with the goalkeeper, who could not keep up with Mendel. Spaam did not even threated to strike until the final minutes and stoppage, as the Vikings defenders were doing their job quite admirably. But the match belonged to Lamar, as he was perfect on saves, going 14 of 14. If he would not have performed as well as he did, it might have been a different score and story here for you today.

"We owe the match to Powell, he did an excelent job protecting the net. He was a machine, a monster. I could not ask for any better of a performence than that." Coach Wash said after the match. "He is definetly a high calibur player. I feel special to be able to coach and help such a great talent."

Other matches of the day in the group included The Eagles Nest rebounding with a 4-2 victory over Kipto-Mare. Phazania took a draw with One Red Dot to the tune of 2-2, as did Lennon Marx with Melmond 0-0. With their first victory of the qualifying round, the Vikings find themselves tied for first place with The Eagles Nest and Melmond. Now, Fmjphoenix heads out to face One Red Dot for the first time. They hope to continue their solid playing and maybe walk away with another victory. Look for the starting 11 to come out fast and furious and to fly all over the pitch to make ORD work hard to win.

Fmjphoenix: 1
(Mendel 74)

Spaam: 0
(None)

Fmjphoenix Vikings Schedule and Record
Matchday 1: Fmjphoenix @ The Eagles Nest Draw 2-2
Matchday 2: Fmjphoenix vs Spaam Win 1-0
Matchday 3: Fmjphoenix @ One Red Dot
Matchday 4: Fmjphoenix vs Melmond
Matchday 5: Fmjphoenix vs Phazania
Matchday 6: Fmjphoenix @ Lennon Marx
Matchday 7: Fmjphoenix vs Kipto-Mare
------------------------------------------
Matchday 8: Fmjphoenix vs The Eagles Nest
Matchday 9: Fmjphoenix @ Spaam
Matchday 10: Fmjphoenix vs One Red Dot
Matchday 11: Fmjphoenix @ Melmond
Matchday 12: Fmjphoenix @ Phazania
Matchday 13: Fmjphoenix vs Lennon Marx
Matchday 14: Fmjphoenix @ Kipto-Mare
Record = 1-1-0

Group 4 Standings
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 The Eagles Nest 2 1 1 0 6 4 +2 4
1 Melmond 2 1 1 0 2 0 +2 4
1 Fmjphoeinx 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
4 Phazania 2 0 2 0 4 4 0 2
4 One Red Dot 2 0 2 0 3 3 0 2
4 Lennon Marx 2 0 2 0 1 1 0 2
7 Spaam 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1
8 Kipto-Mare 2 0 0 2 0 2 -2 0
Lethislavania
01-12-2004, 01:24
Lethislavania Fighting Green

The game began quickly, as the Crystils came running onto the field, pumped and clad in their famous purple uniforms. The Lethislavanian crew came out more poised, hoping that this result would be different. They were still the underdogs, reeling from a massive blow from Jeruselam, but they continued walking, hoping for a win. The teams lined up, and the respective countries had their anthem's played.

Sounding, the horn signaled the players to charge. Thomas Boeing stole the ball from Toader Pold, and swiftly dribbled around the Crystilakere mid, and headed towards Salvatore Redaelli. An intense and vicious foot duel ensued, until Thomas expertfully dribbled the ball through Redaelli's leg and headed up the left side. He slid to the right, as though he was aiming for the the left-hand side of the goal, but then swiveled over and drilled the ball over the flying body of Alwasi Tystrup. Throwing his right arm into the air, jubiliant as though he had one the Lottery, he fell and kissed the ground, a sign of respect and celebration.

Restarting, Reidulf Piao quickly shot around Thomas and the forwards, only to experience the growling, vicious Lethislavania mid. He quickly lofted the ball slowly over to Pold, who headed it over back to the right, where Kuhn slid forward, sending it into the goal. Banners of light and dark purple littered the stands, a triumphant team hugging each other. Aroyyo cursed venomously, pointing his discord at the ref. "It was off-sides, bloody fool!"

The ref turned and looked at him. "Not another word, Mr. Aroyyo. Not one more."

Turning red, Aroyyo sat back down and grumbled. "It was frickin' off-sides, I swear..."

The game restarted, the scoreboard updated to reflect the 1-1 score. Grinning, Piao quickly wrestled the ball away from Boeing and headed up field, dodging the almost clumsy movements of the Lethislavania defense, who was crumbling once more. He got up to the Parincia brothers, who tried to wrestle it away. However, one of them slipped, I'm not quite sure, the video was edgy, and the ball slid into Lethislavania's goal, causing a 2-1 lead. Aroyyo stood leigh-headed. "What in the name of Mother Mary?!?" He yelled falling to his knees.

Shaking his head, he slapped the back of Ned Forsythe. "Go on in..."

Ned ran in, replacing a very embarassed and exhausted Jorge. The game restarted, but before the Crystilakere team could strike again, it was over for the.

The locker room was smelly, silent, and filled with an utter sadness. "Men!" Aroyyo scowled. "This is not a petty game; you are representing Lethislavania, our homeland, and doing it poorly. Now, Thomas, be more aggresive. Cel, stop Piao. And Parincia, both of you, pull it together, or you are gone. Fin." He stormed out, throwing his chair at the wall.

The massive sea of purple was more vigilant as Lethislavania took the field. The game began again, as Piao quickly shot up the field, darting through defenders at a speed no man on the team had witnessed before. Sliding to the right, he nailed a goal. Only :29 into the second half! The crowd erupted, a feiry volcano of mauve sweaters and purple streamers, overflowing the thing metal stands. The Green seemed the weakest it had ever been.

Kerry twidler got the ball off the restart, but was quickly taken over by Piao, who drudgingly went up the field. He passed it over to Kuhn, who drilled a shot from almost midfield. Ned ran to cathc it, but seemed so slow, and he then did the unthinkable - tripped, falling onto the dry ground. A sick crunch was heard, as his arm bone protruted from where it should meet his wrist. Blood pooled over the goal area. Men in white suits flooded the field, carrying him away.

The rest of the game was not much of a memory to the Lethislavanian people. Thomas scored another goal, but Ned Forsythe was done for. He had initiated this whole programme, helped start the LFL, igniting a passion within our people. And now he had to quite, forced to buy a sickening injury. Folks, the score was 4-2. However, we lost much more. We lost a player, an immense friend. Women, children, fathers, Ned Forsythe died after the game, as his heart stopped. He did not trip, but had a immense mydocardial infarction, stopping all function in his body. Rest in peace, Ned. We will miss you deeply.
The Eagles Nest
01-12-2004, 02:38
TEN Gets Away Win

Beats Kipto-Mare 4-2; Gregor Benched

After being tied at 2 all at halftime with Kipto-Mare, Coach Josh Adams benched Nest Keeper Gregor Boyd in favor or the 21 year old Leon Brown who then pitched a perfect half as the Nest rallied to score two more in the second half to win 4-2. The win placed them tied for the lead in Group 5, after a few surprising results in the group.

Grotunia and Secour each scored two, three of them on assists from Star midfielder Horace. The Nest will go back to Silver Flame Arena tomorrow to prepare for Lennon Marx, who tied Melmond today in a scoreless defensive struggle.

TENFA head Talio Aefnen maybe released tomorrow, a day early after his snowmobile accident a few days ago. It is also noted that sales of cheer boxes seem to be going quite well in most countries excet those who are communist and did not allow the shipments of the cheer boxes into the country. As an Eauzian diplomat put it, "capitalist fluff does nothing to stop the sheer power of a united cheer of a Eauz fan base."

Yes, that might have come out wierd, but maybe it was lost in translation.


Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 The Eagles Nest 2 1 1 0 6 4 2 4 40
2 Melmond 2 1 1 0 2 0 2 4 40
3 Fmjphoenix 2 1 1 0 3 2 1 4 40
4 Phazania 2 0 2 0 4 4 0 2 38
5 One Red Dot 2 0 2 0 3 3 0 2 38
6 Lennon Marx 2 0 2 0 1 1 0 2 38
7 Spaam 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1 37
8 Kipto-Mare 2 0 0 2 2 6 -4 0 36


The Eagle's Nest Strike Bird Qualification Run
Matchday 1: The Eagle's Nest vs. Fmjphoenix Tie 2-2
Matchday 2: The Eagle's Nest @ Phazania Win 4-2
Matchday 3: The Eagle's Nest vs. Lennon Marx
Matchday 4: The Eagle's Nest @ Spaam
Matchday 5: The Eagle's Nest vs. One Red Dot
Matchday 6: The Eagle's Nest @ Kipto-Mare
Matchday 7: The Eagle's Nest vs. Melmond
-----------------------------------------------------
Matchday 8: The Eagle's Nest @ Fmjphoenix
Matchday 9: The Eagle's Nest vs. Phazania
Matchday 10: The Eagle's Nest @ Lennon Marx
Matchday 11: The Eagle's Nest vs. Spaam
Matchday 12: The Eagle's Nest @ One Red Dot
Matchday 13: The Eagle's Nest vs. Kipto-Mare
Matchday 14: The Eagle's Nest @ Melmond
Big Pimento
01-12-2004, 02:46
Bizarro World
Where reality is more f'd up than an acid trip

Could it really exist? An alternate universe hovering somewhere where Big Pimento doesn't suck at football? Despite all expectations from the nation's most prominent pundits, we seem to be stuck in that Twilight Zone, since Big Pimento have not only held their own, but they've looked damn good.

After a shocking 1-1 draw on the road in Bedistan, the Futility Kings proved it was no fluke by coming back home and convincingly disposing of Raptor Claw, 4-2. As if the premise of Big Pimento beating a quality team isn't already tough enough to grasp, even more unfathomable is the four which can be found in the GD column. Big Pimento's offense has been inept since the dawn of time and today's four-goal explosion ties a national record for most goals scored. The original mark stood as Big Pimento's finest game ever when they qualified for the Harmony Cup semi-finals and sent the poor Sarzonia Stars packing four-nil.

Bong Jong-Il showed his continued fine form as he scored two goals, along with Boris Valentine chipping in another and Andrei Kristakovichlalinski Jr. scoring his first career goal for his country in injury time to ensure victory. We'd love to rant on and on about this impromptu victory, believe us, we'd like nothing more than to do that, but an even more bizarre occurance happened in Group 9 today is far more worthy of our 2/5ths of a page granted to discuss football.

Snub Nose 38, a nation that's been sending a football team to the World Cup seemingly since the Cretaceous period, has withdrew this year's team after a dispute with organizers. This boycott has left the NS sporting world stunned. We caught up with Snub Nose 38 captain Foghorn Leghorn earlier today, who was singing the blues. The usually upbeat and vivacious Leghorn seemed depressed and had very few words for the media. "Man, this sucks," he croaked, as he looked down to the ground, shook his head, and then calmly and sombrely did the Charleston out of the room. Indeed, a sad day for the Hooligans.

But one man's loss is another team's gain, and this folding of the Snub Nose 38 team means that Big Pimento will be credited with a 3-0 forfeit victory. Instead of battling a tough team in the harsh climate of the Alkali Desert, the Futility Kings can stay home and sip Strawberry Daiquiris on Calista Beach. This four-game stretch of facing Bedistan, Raptor Claw, Snub Nose 38 and Lovisa which many analysts thought Big Pimento would go winless through has gotten off to a great start and the Pimentos are looking square at a 2-1-0 record and a Lovisan team which has gotten off to a slow start. What once seemed to be an impossible task to qualify for the World Cup finals now seems like it is clearly within the Futility Kings' grasp. What a strange, strange time for Pimento football fans.
Adam Island
01-12-2004, 02:48
Adam Islanders Win Glorious Victory!

ADAM CITY, EAST ISLAND- Adam Island has defeated #1 ranked Rejistania in what has been described as the greatest upset since WC X. The stunning 2-1 victory has left Rejistania and the rest of the football world in utter shock.

The match took place in The ADAMDOME, deep in the metropolis capital of the Republic. Before the match, a special ceremony was held to celebrate Adam Island's third-place victory in the Baptism of Fire. This was the first time these players had been on home soil in over a week, and their millions of adoring fans gathered to congratulate them.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v20/spartacus_007/Adam%20Island/boftrophy.jpg
Jhonson holding the BofF Third Place Trophy Source: STAN

On that high note, Adam Island came out strong and ready to take on the number one team in the world, two-time defending champion Rejistania, whose press dismissed AI before the tournament as having virtually "no chance" of qualifying.

Forward Twilla Novello got the team's first shot, after only four minutes of play, which was rejected by keeper Menik Hisda. Three minutes later however, Terrence Jhonson spotted Adelaide Haakenson down near the goal and whipped over a brilliant pass through two defenders giving Haakenson a beautiful opportunity. She juked quickly to fake out Hisda, and shot it in to put AI up 1-0.

At that, the stands went wild. The already rowdy Adam Island crowd tore off their shirts and drew crude copies of the Rejistanian flag, since they had already burned all the ones they brought with them. Rejistania was playing mostly its substitutes, so the fans realized they had the realistic chance of pulling off this amazing upset and acheiving yet more respect for their football team, who had dominated the Baptism of Fire standings.

Their rowdiness only increased when Jentu Minikse scored at 32 minutes with a lucky cheap goal. Rejistania's forward Jariakeledema Ky-Inidiviayu shot a ball that bounced off the goal post, hit a distracted Minikse on the cheast, and bounced into the goal past keeper Paco Naccarato on the other side. The fans were so enraged, extra security forces had to come in to keep the peace. Fans acted out mock pantomimes of Minikse's goal and he was belittled and insulted continuously by at least two thousand people throughout the remainer of the match.

The team entered the half tied with Rejistania at one goal apeice, despite having unexpectedly outplayed the team widely expected to win their third World Cup in a row. They grouped together, and confidently ran out to the second half to face a depressed Rejistanian squad.

Adam Island's defense, highlighted by Terrence Sieck's spectactular tackles, held the Orange-Blues to only one more shot for the match, a sorry attempt that went wide-right of the goal. AI's offense had some trouble, but in the 60th minute, Jhonson found Haakenson yet again.

Expecting another shot by the famous striker, Rejistania moved in around her, and the keeper played towards the side. Then, in the most unexpected move in AI football history, she kicked the ball to Otis Zaragosa, the defender who ran up the field undected by the Rejistanian defense!

Zaragosa was wide-open on the left side of the field. He used his quick feet to sidestep an oncoming defender and ran around another. Keeper Minikse dashed to the left, anticipating a quick shot. But Zaragosa kicked the ball backwards and left to midfielder Jhonson, who faked the shot and then caught Zaragosa on the run towards the right, who knocked the ball in past the diving Minikse, giving Adam Island the 2-1 lead!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v20/spartacus_007/Adam%20Island/winninggoalvreij.jpg
Zaragosa's brilliant surprise goal on Rejistania. Source: STAN

This goal demoralized the already downtrodden Rejistanian offense, and the rest of the game was uneventful, excepting when Terrence Seick got excited and slugged a Rejistanian striker, earning him a Red Card and a two-game suspension.

LAST GAME: AI 2, REJ 1
NEXT GAME: AI @ KYL

POS PLAYER SOG G A
LD Zaragosa 1 1 0
LM Jhonson 0 0 2
LF Haakenson 2 1 0
RF Novello 1 0 0

KEEPER GA SV
Naccarato 1 0
Shonar Bangla
01-12-2004, 03:01
To:
The honorable hosts of World Cup XIX
XYZ street, Vilita, 249823

Dear sirs/madams,
We have acquired the knowledge that a highly prestiged member in Group IX has decided to withdraw from the tournament in the following elaborate and very expressive letter:
Scuttlebutt - the LAST Edition

I have had my fill of Vilita/Turori/Whoever the hell else you may be. Go ahead and do whatever you flippin' feel like. You screwed up - and failed to adequately post any explanation of what you screwed up, and how you "fixed" it.

Yet, you think it appropriate to attack me for requesting that you post a correction.

Go jump in a lake.

Snub Nose 38 withdraws from WC XIX.

In light of this event, Shonar Bangla requests the concerned party to award the recently played match between Snub Nose 38 and Shonar Bangla to Shonar Bangla, despite the game's contrary results. We have a cause. Definitely, the replacement nation will have a lower rank than Snub Nose 38, and a lower rank than Shonar Bangla itself. As a result, we have decided it will be unfair to attribute Shonar Bangla's defeat to a team it is yet to play, and award this new team with the victories of Snub Nose 38.
What we ask, is either of these:
1) Award the game to Shonar Bangla
2) Forfeit the result of the previous game totally, as well as all games played by Snub Nose 38 before
3) Forfeit the previous results of the previous games played by Snub Nose 38, and arrange for the re-matches of the concerned nations with the replacement nation.

Thank you very much,

President Habib ur-Rahman
President of Shonar Bangla Football Association

President Buddhadev Bhattacharya
President of The Secular Nationalists of Shonar Bangla
Aquiliana
01-12-2004, 03:10
Falcons Start Off Strong In WC XIX
Defeat two low-ranked teams fairly easily

After WC18's disappointing finish, where Aquiliana finished with only one point in their Finals group, the team has come back near-unchanged in personnel, but with a new attitude and motivation. The Falcons have come out firing in the World Cup 19 Qualifiers, with 2 straight wins. The teamseems to be playing confidently, and most players are more than happy to give their substitutes a chance to play - the reason for the 2 goals scored against them.

Aquiliana next plays their near neighbors, the Navy-Blues of Nova Britannicus. These teams met up in the last Cup's qualifiers, Aquiliana winning the second match 3-0 after a lackluster 2-2 draw. Look for an exciting match between the two up-and-coming nations.

Final Score:
Aquiliana 2 (Grinniman 23, Manigilus 44)
Pterodactyl 1 (83)

Group 4
Liverpool England 2 2 0 0 6-1 6
Aquiliana 2 2 0 0 5-2 6
Total n Utter Insanity 2 2 0 0 5-3 6
Nova Britannicus 2 1 0 1 3-3 3
Wella 2 0 1 1 2-3 1
Pterodactyl 2 0 1 1 2-3 1
Anglevia 2 0 0 2 3-5 0
Hisam 2 0 0 2 1-7 0



MATCH SCHEDULE

MD1: Aquiliana 3-1 Hisam
MD2: Pterodactyl 1-2 Aquiliana
MD3: Aquiliana vs. Nova Britannicus
MD4: Anglevia vs. Aquiliana
MD5: Aquiliana vs. Wella
MD6: Aquiliana vs. Total n Utter Insanity
MD7: Liverpool England vs. Aquiliana
MD8: Hisam vs. Aquiliana
MD9: Aquiliana vs. Pterodactyl
MD10: Nova Britannicus vs. Aquiliana
MD11: Aquiliana vs. Anglevia
MD12: Wella vs. Aquiliana
MD13: Total n Utter Insanity vs. Aquiliana
MD14: Aquiliana vs. Liverpool England
Vilita
01-12-2004, 03:13
To:
The honorable hosts of World Cup XIX
XYZ street, Vilita, 249823

Dear sirs/madams,
We have acquired the knowledge that a highly prestiged member in Group IX has decided to withdraw from the tournament in the following elaborate and very expressive letter:


In light of this event, Shonar Bangla requests the concerned party to award the recently played match between Snub Nose 38 and Shonar Bangla to Shonar Bangla, despite the game's contrary results. We have a cause. Definitely, the replacement nation will have a lower rank than Snub Nose 38, and a lower rank than Shonar Bangla itself. As a result, we have decided it will be unfair to attribute Shonar Bangla's defeat to a team it is yet to play, and award this new team with the victories of Snub Nose 38.
What we ask, is either of these:
1) Award the game to Shonar Bangla
2) Forfeit the result of the previous game totally, as well as all games played by Snub Nose 38 before
3) Forfeit the previous results of the previous games played by Snub Nose 38, and arrange for the re-matches of the concerned nations with the replacement nation.

Thank you very much,

President Habib ur-Rahman
President of Shonar Bangla Football Association

President Buddhadev Bhattacharya
President of The Secular Nationalists of Shonar Bangla


Dear President ur-Rahman

Your proposal to arrange make-up fixtures with the replacement team will be taken into consideration. A decision would have to be made before matchday 3, and the consent of the other team involved, Hammerund, would aide your case greatly.

---------------While I am in no way in charge of the decision making process of the cup, being hosted by Turori & The Belmore Family, I would be inclined to believe that if a replacement nation is accepted to the cup, it would only be done in the farest of manners, and no team will be left at a disadvantage. No results will be altered or skewed in any way. The only possibilities include the rescheduling of the opening matches should a new nation enter the competition, or the erradication of all results involving said nation.

Sincerely,

Me.
Representative of Myself (And Vilita)

Influential in some way on the Current Hosts (Yea we share the same government, big deal)
Shonar Bangla
01-12-2004, 04:20
To:
The honorable hosts of World Cup XIX
XYZ street, Vilita, 249823

Sirs,
We are happy that the issue will be looked into. Hopefully, the official hosts may be notified of this development. We realized that Hamerrund's participation in this campaign would greatly aid us, but I am afraid we are all humans looking out for our own interests. Hammerund has a favourable result with regard to Snub Nose 38, while we don't.

The two options given by Vilita here seem acceptable and fair, now it is upto the managers and hosts of this World Cup to decide on any modifications.

Again, we would like to express our gratitude to the concerned party, for the reassurance that the matter will be dealt with effectively and fairly, traits that characterize this tournament and its facilitators.

Thank you,

President Habib ur-Rahman
President of Shonar Bangla Football Association
Melmond
01-12-2004, 05:17
State of Football in Melmond
Reinforcing the Strength of the Sport in Melmond
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald for the NationStates Football World

Certainly, nothing short of a World Cup title would top the big performance we reported on last time around when the Fearless Farmers earned third place in their first ever World Cup and a permanent place in the NationStates footballing history books. Well, the Melmond National Team didn’t come close to that pinnacle, but what they did in their World Cup 18 campaign certainly wasn’t disappointing. The Fearless Farmers coasted in order to win their first ever qualifying group in arguably the easiest group Melmond has ever been in. They arrived into Eauz, not very friendly territory, for group play in World Cup 18. In a pique of brainless commie business sense, the other host, Bedistan, was slated to play in Eauz in Melmond’s group along with Lovisa and EL CID THE HERO. The two favorites were upset in the first match as Lovisa beat Melmond 1-nil and EL CID THE HERO beat Bedistan 2-nil. However, the favorites got their revenge as Melmond gets the 2-1 victory over EL CID THE HERO and Bedistan beat Lovisa in a wild affair 5-3. It appears that it will be one favorite and one underdog advancing and Melmond had Bedistan next. Unfortunately, for the Fearless Farmers, despite the goal difference being equal, Bedistan scored many more goals than Melmond. This proved to be the dagger as Melmond tied the talented Bedistanis 1-1, which was not enough as Bedistan and Lovisa went through despite a strong performance by the Fearless Farmers. It appeared that although the World Cup 18 side was probably more talented, they didn’t have the momentum of the World Cup 17 side.
As for the domestic league, the success at bringing top stars around the world as well as having top Melmondian stars is finally starting to turn Melmond into a footballing nation. Certainly, football isn’t the prestige of baseball, fencing, or battlearena in Melmond, but it is certainly the most popular second sport of this populous nation. The Melmond Premier League stands 14 clubs strong, and not a weak sister among them as every club has some strong talented. The attendance has become solidly good and the fans are becoming intensely loyal to their local clubs. The Melmond Premier League has even attracted foreign investors as a group of Vilitans and Turorians bought minority interest in Titania Forests. The Melmond Premier League is set to expand to 16 as Sardaburg Silvers and Pappano Coppers are about to enter in two years.
What is up ahead for the Melmond National Team? A new look side and a challenging group for a change. What we mean by new look is not the uniforms, they are still the same immaculate balance of green and white Melmondians know and love. We mean that this is the first national team which features none of the original members of the first national team. A generation of Melmondian football certainly has passed, but a member of that first generation manages the Fearless Farmers, and that is David Bixler. His presence certainly reminds the Melmond National Team that they have a legacy to keep. This side is probably the youngest side Melmond has fielded since their first entry in the World Cup, but they are still loaded with experience and talent. At goalkeeper is the legendary Snhp Xtfuinxm, at 39 years old isn’t the player that he once was, but even at this age he is still one of the best in the world. The backline has three familiar names in Veronica Dean, Charles Unne, and Trav Strachan, but joining them in the starting lineup is a familiar last name if you like musicals in Melmond, Notint Hecloset. He will certainly add finesse to the already very physical backline. The Melmond midfield will sorely miss the presence of the retired Critandi Unne, who is arguably the best footballer Melmond has ever produced. However, midfielder Jake Cormier, with his performances on the field, may be ready to make a run to take that title away from hir. Cormier has been named the captain of this team, the youngest captain ever at 27. He is supported in the midfield by Peeko Noodleschlausen, Alfred Smith, and Pauline Hulme, who will make her first main starting debut after two World Cups as a bench player. At the striker position Melmond has two phenoms. One you have heard of in flashy striker Tim Remans. The other you will soon hear of, Gene MacDougall, who many people compare to a young Tim Remans. Seven players from last cup’s team: Jonsi Torrini, Critandi Unne, Ojfssnsj Xrnym, Sergio Ortiz, Gwen Dumont, and Kestrel Bluesummers, have moved on, but Melmond still sees itself as strong and a contender for the entire World Cup.
Iansisle
01-12-2004, 07:34
Flaherty, Truman, Lyon, and ...Cotton?
Ians front three continue to struggle to find rhythm

7JM -- Although not a repeat of the first match’s dreadful performance against Oceanice, Iansisle - on paper one of the world’s elite teams - continued to struggle against much lower ranked sides.

The simultaneous loss of strikers Tom Ravenhill and Brian Lyon and midfielder Geoffrey Fletcher have left the Ians punchless. To date in World Cup XIX, they are averaging a measly goal a game.

“James [Goodman] is a brilliant keeper,” head coach David Westmore said at a press conference. “I’ve had words with [offensive coach] Alex [Truman] and all our strikers - we have to pick it up, or this could be the worst Ians side since World Cup XII.”

The World Cup XIX side is the first one in Ians history without a clear leader on offense. Leonard “Lightning” Flaherty led the World Cup X squad, before Alexander Truman took over and trained his young protégé, Brain “Rhymin’” Lyon. 30 year old Henry Cotton, the oft-forgotten third member of that legendary Lyon-Ravenhill offense, will have to pick up his game.

On the other end of the pitch, things are looking a little brighter for the Ians. James Goodman, still only 25 years old, is looking like a god among men in goal and the defense is as solid as any team in Ians history.

Hopefully, the Ians’ offense can pick up the pace before World Cup XIX is added to the long list of Iansislean sporting failures.
Tadjikistan
01-12-2004, 10:36
Piquantrax 3-2 Tadjikistan

Dushanbe - The Tigers lost their second match on the world in Piquantrax, new to the World CUp scene, without any experience on this level. It is one of the greatest and most dissapointing results of the Tadjik national team. Georgi Zhukov position as coach is now really being endangered and such names as Zhenya Luchinsky(SKA Pamir Dushanbe) and Igor Pliiev are being heard as replacements. "It hasnt come that far yet" TNFF president Frunze said:"We dont want to throw Zhukov out, that would be the most stupid decision we could make right now. He'll be given the chance to get the team in shape and the qualification zone by MD7, if he fails there we will have to take action.

It all went wrong during a duel between Zhigarov and a Piquantraxian player in the 28th minute, the latter won it got his shot past Voronov who was still in the wrong corner of the goal. The Tigers came back and equalized in the 30th minute with a shot from Koshevoi but they were able to overcome their opponents. Five minutes in the second half Piquantrax got a free kick from ref Munro, the wall was set to far to the left and the Piquantraxian player curled the ball into the Tadjik box. Ter Gasparian brought the Tigers back in the match in the 68th minute when he scored an assist from Zaev bringing the Tigers to 2-2. Zhukov then decided to send in Vladimir Lvov, a defender fro Zhigarov. A good choice but the Tigers were unlucky today. They kept Piquantrax away from their goal for most of the second half but they had no answer to the last Goal their opponents made in the 88th minute from a cornershot. Exit Tadjikistan!

They will have to make up for this disastrous reult in their next match against Finrods, a team they already met in U21WC7 and the youngsters lost to them 3-1, especially Gasparian will be very eager to get even. And lets hope he scores, the Tigers will need the points if they went to got to the Cup.

Group 10
Giant Zucchini 0 - 2 Vilita
Nastic 1 - 1 Dance 2 Revolution
Piquantrax 3 - 2 Tadjikistan
Finrods 1 - 0 Oaker

MD1: Tadjikistan - Nastic W 2-0
MD2: Piquantrax - Tadjikistan L 3-2
MD3: Tadjikistan - Finrods
MD4: Giant Zucchini - Tadjikistan
MD5: Tadjikistan - Oaker
MD6: Tadjikistan - Vilita
MD7: Dance 2 Revolution - Tadjikistan
MD8: Nastic - Tadjikistan
MD9: Tadjikistan - Piquantrax
MD10: Finrods - Tadjikistan
MD11: Tadjikistan - Giant Zucchini
MD12: Oaker - Tadjikistan
MD13: Vilita - Tadjikistan
MD14: Tadjikistan - Dance 2 Revolution
Cockbill Street
01-12-2004, 11:10
Street Go Down To Bunch Of Kids
It's A Long Enough Road To Tipperori...We Don't Need Detours

We all knew the Streeters were poor. But somehow, that opening 4-0 win over Huahin conjured an image of a team who at least wins against newcomers. Then up comes a team of 20-year-olds - similar to the nation, in fact, which was full of children and hence named The Immaculate Youth (or Totally Inflated Youth, as Mark Bitton dubbed it - punning on the Abysmali currency).

Some Streetian fans shook their heads and blamed the ignorance of youth when they saw that their opponents were lined up in an almost suicidal 3-3-4 - overcrowding midfield and attack and not giving a toss about defense, thus:

THE IMMACULATE YOUTH
Boruc

Dudek Yarebov Yozoviak

Kiebov Magiar Sokovo
Vlodar Vrobel Koval
Sagana
------------------------------------------------
Stubbings Wharton
Heimfoething
Cawdron Bitton McLavish

Walker Galena Jones Stronginthearm

Havell
COCKBILL STREET

(OOC note: no roster, using the Baptism of Fire one)

However, the Youth were quickly to prove that that was not the case. Magiar, Sokovo and Kiebov fought like lions (or is the appropriate word kittens?), to prevent the Streetians breaking through in the midfield. Manager Chris Gavara had obviously studied Cockbill Street's tactics of short passes and dribbles carefully, and the Youth broke it down with tackles and pressing all over the place. And their four-striker tactic - ridiculed even in the Street as too offensive, and that's saying something for a nation of Karela-despisers - worked beautifully as Dudek won the ball off Cawdron on his left back, crossed a half-desperate ball up to the forwards, Jones missed the clearing header, and Sagana could calmly run behind him and get the ball before sending it past Havell.

Gavara, realising that his side was one step away from one of Matchday 2's greatest upsets, immediately ordered his players into a more defensive formation. This wasn't very difficult, naturally - as the team was currently more attacking than Jorvik on speed - and with Starblaydi referee Binky McGee failing to give Cockbill Street two penalties, there was little to be done. Not that the Streetians deserved the win - there was little attacking drive, the shots were meek, and the team was, in general, sub-par.

Cockbill Street: Havell 5 - Walker 6, Galena 4, Jones 5, Stronginthearm 5 - Cawdron 3, Bitton 5 (Nickel-carbide on 66), McLavish 4 (Keegan on 62) - Heimfoething 4 (Stewart on 55 4) - Stubbings 4, Wharton 5
The Immaculate Youth: Boruc 6 - Dudek 7, Yarebov 6, Yozebiak 5 - Kiebov 6, Magiar 6, Sokovo 4 - Vlodar 6, Vrobel 7, Koval 7 - Sagana 7.
Referee: B McGee (Starblaydia) 3

COCKBILL STREET 0
THE IMMACULATE YOUTH 1 (Sagana 13)

Group 2 tables:
Commerce Heights 2 2 0 0 11-2 6
Haperd 2 2 0 0 3-1 6
Cockbill Street 2 1 0 1 4-1 3
-------------------------------------------
Svecia 2 1 0 1 3-2 3
Oddslavo 2 1 0 1 2-2 3
The Immaculate Youth 2 1 0 1 1-1 3
Nonesuch Street 2 0 0 2 1-8 0
Huahin 2 0 0 2 2-10 0

Despite losing this match, the Street of the Cockbill variety are sitting pretty in third place - which is actually a qualifying spot. Svecia, who went down 0-1 to hapful Haperd on the first matchday, are still behind us, but the aforementioned Haperd are ahead with their 2-1 victory over Oddslavo. Nonesuch Street, however, has had a dismal start, but that can partly be explained by the quality of the opposition.

The last addition, because the C-mail has been puzzled by the amount of plucky outsiders winning - they publish the C-mail Ranking of the Greatest Upsets So Far:

1. Adam Island - Rejistania 2-1
2. Svecia - Haperd 0-1
3. Middle March - The Lowland Clans 2-0
4. Piquantrax - Tadjikistan 3-2
5. Snub Nose 38 - Hammerund 1-2
6. Zvarinograd - Sarzonia 2-1
7. The Immaculate Youth - Cockbill Street 1-0
8. Bedistan - Big Pimento 1-1
9. Villiapange - Esth 3-2
10.Runaway Moose - Jeruselem 2-1

Anyone who had that on their odds coupon can cash in AM$190,000,000 at the Streetbet headquarters, 19 Gadebone Road, Vimesbairn.
Cockbill Street
01-12-2004, 12:42
WE DO TOO MUCH, EXPERT SAYS
Excellence In Few is Better Than Participation In Many?

The Streetians have always been a sporting nation. Politics, war and other such trivial matters have passed us by, and we are just really trying to get along with sports and become good at them. But the fact is, we have failed at everything we have touched. At handball, Rejistania outshone us every time we played them, and eventually NEWI Cefn Druids became too good as well. In the olympics, we made do with sailing and diving gold medals - if anything. In football, the only thing we ever won was a Losers' Cup, and even that is looking unlikely after a 0-1 defeat at the hands of The Immaculate Youth - a complete newcomer. In cricket, we could only win one out of three one-day matches, and just lost again to the Chuckers. In rugby - well, it's so long ago, but I seem to remember a lot of losses. Luckily nobody in the Street care about field hockey and ice hockey, because we keep losing there, too (although, funnily enough, the Streetian hockey side in Cherry Cup Seven are ahead - see page 49). And in addition, we have a lot of national championships in sports that nobody cares about - such as the Dwarf Quaffing Championship, the speed skating, the skiing, the taekwondo, the rowing, the lacrosse...the list seems endless.

Now, Richard Widdich, a professor of sports psychology from the Vimesbairn University claims that the Streetians try to be good at too much, and fail at everything. "We have a limited population," he says. "Rejistanians concentrate on team sports, Starblaydis don't give a toss about hockey (well, except their dwarves), Vilitans are fanatic and have some genetic advantages, Bedistani just have the football - while we try to be good at everything, and fail in the process."

Widdich proposes a radical solution. "We need to cut out this idea that we actually have a chance of winning something - or stop most of the winter sports which are taking talent with good stamina away from sports such as football. It is clear that our football population just isn't big enough to provide football stars of the calibre of Sasijilvenku Dikelevetinisaru, Nick Yu, Alex Marriot or Simeone di Bradini, unless the focus shifts back from other sports into football."

However, other noted media researches disagree. "It is healthy to have a variety of sports up in the media," Lisa Williamson from the Inquirer stated today. "It shows that we have a good balance between football and other important sports, and I don't think that if we narrow down that will result in more people playing football. It will just mean that fewer people follow sports overall, we sell fewer newspapers, and the general fitness of the population decreases.
Druida
01-12-2004, 14:15
The Tribune Tribune
Serving Druid Tribune and the surrounding area

BUNNIES LEAVE KALLINS HOPPING MAD
Trefor Blackmore on Vorpal Bunnies 0 Druida 1

OK, so it wasn't quite as convincing a performance as last time, but then it wouldn't be. Vorpal Bunnies have a couple of qualifying camaigns worth of experience behind them. Indeed, they stopped a Flexsys Cefn Druids side featuring a lot of the present day Druida players from even making it to the World Cup 17 qualifiers. So this was no mean feat.

An early goal helped, and you will struggle to find an earlier goal in qualifying. It came after just 8 seconds. Vincent launched a long ball out wide from Andrews' kick-off. The bunny defender who came to clear the ball misread the situation, giving Trefor James one of the easiest goals he will score.

From here on in, though, it was a backs-to-the-wall job. It didn't help that Vilitan referee Motaak Otieno sent off young Garth Cymru just three minutes into the game for an alleged kick at one of the bunnies. To be fair to Cymru, a curled up bunny and a ball, from a distance, looks very similar. However, replays have shown it was definately the ball that Cymru kicked.

It helped even less when Trefor Merthyr was sent off with less than half an hour for what Otieno later called "cruelty to animals", though what Merthyr actually did wrong remains unclear. Druida made a change at this point, bringing on Trefor Tobias into the midfield for striker Garth Vincent.

But still the sendings-off continued. On of the bunnies was given a red card for having "excessively sharp teeth" before Trevor Tavares became the third and final rainbows player to be sent off during the half-time interval. It is rumoured that Tavares sneaked out of the Druida dressing room to hunt down referee Otiento, and was sent off for "loitering with intent", even though Tavares didn't actually do anything to the Vilitan official.

Somehow, the rainbows held on through the second half, and that first minute goal was enough. However, the rainbows will be without three of their top players for the visit of Dead Rockstars to Druida. At least they're still alive, though. not like their opponents. I mean, are they ghosts? Zombies? Or do they come from Rockstar Heaven? Do Druidan Airways fly direct to Rockstar Heaven from Druid Tribune? How will we know where to go for the away leg? Will they bring their instruments? Why am I actually all that bothered? They can't be bad, because they managed a draw in their last game, but hopefully that won't be happening here.

Finally, the new Druida national stadium was unveiled yesterday. Of course, costs had to be cut back, and the stadium was eventually built at a cost of just 1000 cwuls. To see an artist's impression*, click here (http://www.savepic.com/freepicturehosting/is.php?i=295427&img=heh.jpg)!

* = We think the artist may well be struggling a bit with the concept of perspective.
Jeruselem
01-12-2004, 14:32
Jeruselem Government News

Beware of a Runaway Moose

There were shocks in Group 3 where Masserat and Jeruselem lost games while Iansisle and Crystilakere won their games.

Lowly ranked Runaway Moose beat Jeruselem 2-1 in an upset which rocked Group 3. Jeruselem who had won 6-0 last game was expected to win, but a crazily-named Runaway Moose pushed their credentials with a solid win against a very dangerous opposition. Team Coach David Becks said it was early days in this round and this kind of thing tended to happen when rookie teams start well and die off later.

Commentators in Jeruselem say this was normal for Jeruselem to drop a few games early to lower ranked opponents and the loss was only 2-1, which still gives it a good defensive record still.

Oceaice handed Maserrat a 4-1 hiding after it beat Iansisle in it's last game. It looks like the dark horse in Group 3 as favourites lose games to lower ranked opponents. However, Maserrat's loss helped the real favourites who both won with Crystilakere looking betrter than Iansisle who scraped past 7JM 1-0.

Group 3
7JM 0 - 1 Iansisle
Lethislavania 2 - 4 Crystilakere
Runaway Moose 2 - 1 Jeruselem
Oceaice 4 - 1 Maserrat
Maserrat
01-12-2004, 15:02
Oceaice 4-1 Maserrat

It's amazing how teams that do nothing constantly seem to beat Maserrat. On a matchday in which upsets were the order of the day (it seems they're not as 'occasional' as once suggested), Maserrat fell victim to the ridicularity as they went down 4-1 to Oceaice. Having already dispatched of Iansisle, it was generally accepted that they couldn't do it twice in a row - WRONG! Home advantage seemed to count greatly in this match, and Maserrat left the country feeling cheated, once again.

The only high point for Maserrat was the stunning volley by Borle Xantoi on 38 minutes from a Poskilka corner that flew into the bottom left-hand corner of the net. Unfortunately, this solitary goal was enveloped by Oceaice goals on 7, 21, 59 and 73 minutes. Karpova had strong feelings after the match. "It seems that whenever we look to be taking a step forward, some joker slams the door in our faces. This isn't the first time we've been cheated out of points by a referee, and no doubt it won't be the last time, seeing as they always seem to prey on us."

Karpova was commenting on two Oceaice goals that were blatantly offside. Both times the linesman ruled offside, but both times the referee overruled him. It is not yet known which nationality the referee was, but it is suspected to be a man keen on revenge for a defeat at the hands of Maserrat. Maserrat may have been able to claw the game back had these two goals been disallowed, and it may be a defeat that ruins chances of qualification for the finals.

In other games, Jerusalem were also plagued by underdogitis, as they lost 2-1 to Runaway Moose. Iansisle got their campaign back on track with a 1-0 over 7JM (not their most convincing victory, but a win's a win), whilst Crystilakere kept up their 100% record with a win over Lethislavania.
Legalese
01-12-2004, 15:07
The Weegies wobble, but they don't fall down
Legalese drops to 0-1-1 with 2-1 loss at home

Legalese dropped their home opener in World Cup 19, with a 2-1 loss to The Weegies. Scoring for the Black and Red was Jonny Lambert, in the 63rd minute.

Next up for Legalese is a match with El Cid the Hero. Ranked in the top 25 in the World, El Cid will be a formidable opponent for Legalese.
The Lowland Clans
01-12-2004, 15:43
*The All-Seeing Camera of RP-dom ofpens up to the the trashed room of a hungover Pontoon Perry, whose sitting on his bed, with a bucket of puke in one corner*

Pontoon Perry: What the [censored] is wrong with these [censored] refs, it's like WCXV all [censored] over a [censored] again...I mean, the reffing was so [censored] bad that even I got drunk. I wonder what ever happened to those guys.

*All of the sudden a man-in-suit appears in front the drunk Perry*

PP: Who the [censored] are you [censored]?

Man-in-Suit: I am a agent for your government.

PP: [censored]. What did I [censored] do this [censored] time.

M-I-S: Simple, you know sports. You know players. You are required to serve your government. And stop swearing too. People with virgin ears are going to hear this thing.

PP: [censored] fine. So what exactly do you need me for?

M-I-S: We have a problem, I'm sure you heard of our recent loss to Middle March. That's why you are drunk, I'm assuming.

PP: You better [censored] believe it.

MIS: Stop swearing.

PP: [censored] off.

MIS: No. I'll do the most awful thing imaginable.

PP: What's that, castrate me?

MIS: No...take away your-

PP: NO, NOT MY B33R!

MIS: Yes, your B33R. Now, we have a simple plan that should fix most of our problems, and you are needed to analyze certain, parts of that plan. Your extensive knowledge of all football players will be used to interrogate members of the Turori national team.

PP: You use the [fingerquotes] script? Even with your sophisticated Man-in-Suit demeanor?

MIS: Shutup, or no B33R.

PP: ok. How do you plan to acquire the Turori national team?

MIS: MUHWAHAHAHA Leave that up to us...

*At approximately the same time, somewhere in Turori, The All-seeing Camera of RP-dom focuses in on two distinct helicopters, black, and stealthily in nature, approach the Turorian training grounds*

TIS #1: All right team, quick and easy, quick and easy. Nobody gets hurt. Yet.

TIS #2-30: Yessir.

*The All-seeing Camera of RP-dom zooms out and watches as the helicopters land on the main field of the compound, next to the main compound. The troops file out and infiltrate the compound. They enter each room and fire tranquilizer darts at each of the players. Some attempt to put up a fight, but they are put down by the soldiers. They enter the managers office, where the national manager is asleep on his couch. They tranquilize him and take his computer, as well as several files from his desk. In the computers place, this note is left*

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Turori FA:

Your team has been kidnapped. Do not even bother trying to find them. You will not find them. Your team and manager will be returned if you overturn these ten matches, and award 3 points to the higher ranked team, while removing any points the Lower ranked team has gained. Cheers.

1. Adam Island - Rejistania 2-1
2. Svecia - Haperd 0-1
3. Middle March - The Lowland Clans 2-0
4. Piquantrax - Tadjikistan 3-2
5. Snub Nose 38 - Hammerund 1-2
6. Zvarinograd - Sarzonia 2-1
7. The Immaculate Youth - Cockbill Street 1-0
8. Bedistan - Big Pimento 1-1
9. Villiapange - Esth 3-2
10.Runaway Moose - Jeruselem 2-1

*The managers are loaded onto the helicopters, which fly away into the distance, disappearing soon after they leave the compound*
Eauz
01-12-2004, 16:02
Le LIBRE

If you Train, they will defend

After a successful victory over Adam Island, Les Bleus were forced to go through an intrinsic defensive training to improve the defense of their game. During the training, the coach said, “…we need to improve this part of our game, because we always seem to get ahead early, and then get knocked out of the lead by the weak defense!” Fatigued after the training, Les Bleus were off to Hiiraan, which is another country, which Les Bleus know not of. Arriving at the stadium, one could see that their fans were, definitely supporting this new team to the world cup-qualifying round. However, with more research, one finds out from a fan else wise.

I… I… I sh… shouldn’t tell you this, but all the people here are being forced t… to watch this match… shhh…

Coming out on the field, the Eauz anthem was being played, but fans were being told to boo and make fun of Les Bleus and their being French Commies. Despite this, the whistle blew and play began. The defense for Eauz seemed to be stronger, probably under the pressure of the Eauz coach and officials to perform better. During the first 10 minutes of play, Hiiraan was in control of the ball, pushing it around in the Eauz zone. During the 4th minute of play, a long shot was taken, by Mahad Umar Isaaq, which went close to going it, but Rousoi was there to knock it out of play. Receiving a corner, Hiiraan sent it towards the group of players in front of the net. A Hiiraan forward headed it, but it went over the net and out of play. Les Bleus defense improved after that, as Les Bleus finally got on the attack during the 12th minute of play. New member of Les Bleus, Pierre Camus brought the ball up field, getting past easily the Hiiraan defense, and passing it to Alia. Alia tried to get a shot off, but was blocked by a Hiiraan defender, but the ball bounced back to where Vasser was, as he took a shot which totally confused the keeper, giving Les Bleus a 1 – 0 early lead. Les Bleus were not finished there, as they were back on the attack, after knocking the ball out of Hiiraan’s control, which was a questionable no call, but play continued despite the Hiiraan argument. Les Bleus were putting on an all out assault on the Hiiraan defense, as many shots were taken, but going wide or deflecting off a defender. One shot was close to going in the right corner, but the Hiiraan keeper made an incredible dive for the ball, stopping it and holding on to it. During the 25th minute of play, Les Bleus after all the attacking, finally got something else to go in. Off of a corner, a shot was taken, which sailed over the heads of the group, but Rousseau claimed control of the ball, getting himself in position to shoot, a high shot was taken, going over the keeper and into the net, giving Les Bleus a 2 – 0 lead. Les Bleus came back to defend a bit, as they had a reasonable lead, but Hiiraan’s offense was nonexistent during the first half, as Les Bleus defense was either too strong for the new team, or the Hiiraan offense was too weak. A few weak shots were taken, which Rousoi easily stopped. Just before the first half ended, Camus was given a yellow card for a slide attack, which knocked down a Hiiraan player. Les Bleus would go into the first half with a 2 – 0 lead. Leaving the field, Hiiraan fans were booing their team and throwing collector posters of their team on the field. The stadium even criticized the team on the big screen, making fun of the weak football team all around.

As the Second half came around, Les Bleus were looking to just keep their lead, and defend well against any possible chance for Hiiraan to get back into the match. Hiiraan was given another chance to try to penetrate the Eauz defence, as the Hiiraan fans screamed and yelled insults at their team. A Hiiraan player penetrated the Eauz defense, and got close to taking a shot, just before Daintan slid in and blocked the shot, going high and over the net. The corner resulted in the ball being headed off the crossbar and into Eauz possession. During the 60th minute of play, Les Bleus were attacking once again, as the Devereux brought it up. Seeing as he usually doesn’t get much chance, and Les Bleus were up 2 – 0, he decided to let a long shot go, which seemed like a pass, but it was hit long enough that it went into the top left corner of the net, giving Les Bleus a 3 – 0 lead. Devereux could not believe that the shot actually went in. 10 minutes later during the 70th minute, the frustration was starting to build on Hiiraan, because of the fans. Usmaan Umar Wakiil, a Hiiraan defender brought down D'Aubigne just outside the penalty zone. A free kick was awarded to Les Bleus, which Alia capitalised on, putting Les Bleus up 4 – 0. Aside from a few weak opportunities, by Hiiraan, Les Bleus and their improved defence would go on to the 4 – 0 victory over this new team to the World Cup.

As the Eauz match finished, Les Bleus were shocked to find out that Rejistania lost to Adam Island, 2 – 1 in what is probably the biggest surprise of the qualifying round so far. Les Bleus can only hope that something like that doesn’t happen to them later in the qualifying round. As for match day 3, Les Bleus will face off against the current number 2 team in Group 7 in Villapange who tied their first match against Kylaai, and took a surprising 3 – 2 victory over Esth. It appears that either Villapange is a team to fear, or they are just riding a luck streak now. Nonetheless, Les Bleus will face off against them in Zuka at Le Stade d’Eauz.

Schedule

Match Day 1: Adam Island @ Eauz W 1 - 3
Match Day 2: Eauz @ Hiiraan W 4 - 0
Match Day 3: Villapange @ Eauz
Match Day 4: Eauz @ The Evil Umpire
Match Day 5: Kylaai @ Eauz
Match Day 6: Eauz @ Esth
Match Day 7: Eauz @ Rejistania

Match Day 8: Eauz @ Adam Island
Match Day 9: Hiiraan @ Eauz
Match Day 10: Eauz @ Villapange
Match Day 11: The Evil Umpire @ Eauz
Match Day 12: Eauz @ Kylaai
Match Day 13: Esth @ Eauz
Match Day 14: Rejistania @ Eauz



Group 7 GP W D L GF : GA GD P
Eauz 2 2 0 0 7 : 1 6 6
Villiapange 2 1 1 0 5 : 4 1 4
Esth 2 1 0 1 5 : 4 1 3
Rejistania 2 1 0 1 4 : 4 0 3
The Evil Umpire 2 1 0 1 3 : 3 0 3
Adam Island 2 1 0 1 3 : 4 -1 3
Kylaai 2 0 1 1 2 : 3 -1 1
Hiiraan 2 0 0 2 1 : 7 -6 0
Adam Island
01-12-2004, 16:27
*The All-seeing Camera of RP-dom zooms out and watches as the helicopters land on the main field of the compound, next to the main compound. The troops file out and infiltrate the compound. They enter each room and fire tranquilizer darts at each of the players. Some attempt to put up a fight, but they are put down by the soldiers. They enter the managers office, where the national manager is asleep on his couch. They tranquilize him and take his computer, as well as several files from his desk. In the computers place, this note is left*

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Turori FA:

Your team has been kidnapped. Do not even bother trying to find them. You will not find them. Your team and manager will be returned if you overturn these ten matches, and award 3 points to the higher ranked team, while removing any points the Lower ranked team has gained. Cheers.

1. Adam Island - Rejistania 2-1
2. Svecia - Haperd 0-1
3. Middle March - The Lowland Clans 2-0
4. Piquantrax - Tadjikistan 3-2
5. Snub Nose 38 - Hammerund 1-2
6. Zvarinograd - Sarzonia 2-1
7. The Immaculate Youth - Cockbill Street 1-0
8. Bedistan - Big Pimento 1-1
9. Villiapange - Esth 3-2
10.Runaway Moose - Jeruselem 2-1

*The managers are loaded onto the helicopters, which fly away into the distance, disappearing soon after they leave the compound*

As the ambassador from Adam Island I must strongly urge the nation of Turori to refuse to capitulate to this terrorists. To give in now would destroy the credibility of the World Cup and would destroy any incentive for play.

We cannot let the terrorists think they can dictate which nations win and lose football games. Furthermore, I suggest that we punish the terrorists by doing the opposite of what they demand and awarding double points to Adam Island for their glorious and hard-fought battle against Rejistania.
Turori
01-12-2004, 16:44
As the ambassador from Adam Island I must strongly urge the nation of Turori to refuse to capitulate to this terrorists. To give in now would destroy the credibility of the World Cup and would destroy any incentive for play.

We cannot let the terrorists think they can dictate which nations win and lose football games. Furthermore, I suggest that we punish the terrorists by doing the opposite of what they demand and awarding double points to Adam Island for their glorious and hard-fought battle against Rejistania.

We were do for a change in management anyway. Call up the Turori Youth Academy, tell them we're going to need some replacements.


1. Adam Island - Rejistania 2-1
- Adam Island = Near Max Points in BoF with High RP Bonus, Not too worried

2. Svecia - Haperd 0-1
- Haperd = Been playing for a long time with a rank, not worried

3. Middle March - The Lowland Clans 2-0
- This result just sucks

4. Piquantrax - Tadjikistan 3-2
- Would rather have been a draw, Blame it on home bonus if you want, or of the fall of the Tadjikistan dynasty

5. Snub Nose 38 - Hammerund 1-2
- Almost felt bad, but then thought about how SN38 did not sign up for WC17 or WC18 so should have been ranked around Hammerund to begin with, and got over it.

6. Zvarinograd - Sarzonia 2-1
- This result sucks too, Unlucky on Sarz who has been getting shafted in every competition lately

7. The Immaculate Youth - Cockbill Street 1-0
- Baptism of Fire Cup finalists with a 1-0 win at home over CoH regulars, not a huge issue IMO

8. Bedistan - Big Pimento 1-1
- A draw to an RPing non-n00b for a nation that has dropped 8 ranks, is this a mistype?

9. Villiapange - Esth 3-2
- ermmmm....? again? at home, against Esth. We aren't talking headline news here.

10.Runaway Moose - Jeruselem 2-1
- Bad result, unlucky on Jer.


The first 2 matchdays have been exceptionally unlucky, while the formula is not the best in World Cup History, I assure you it is also not the worst, and the results will pan out.

Legalese, make sure Martiia Rawaii is ready for action, he may be needed come finals!
Sarzonia
01-12-2004, 16:51
Stars react to kidnapping

The Sarzonian national team had plenty of incentive for their eventual match against Group 8 second seed The Lowland Clans. Besides the team's world ranking (18th in the latest KPB poll), the team dismissed Sarzonia as a threat, saying that only Audioslavia was worth their attention.

All that changed yesterday. The Turori Eels, a regional rival of Sarzonia's, were kidnapped and the terrorist group from The Lowland Clans demanded that 10 surprise results be overturned in the favor of the higher rated teams. The 10 results included the Stars' 2-1 loss to Zvarinograd.

"Surprise results are a part of football," Coach Dave Wilson said. "That's the way the sport works. There's no sense moping about it or protesting if you didn't get the job done. We didn't. End of story."

The Stars said they would raise an objection if the World Cup organizers gave in to the demands and overturned their loss to Zvarinograd, even though it would put them in a tie for first in the group.

"Football games are meant to be won, lost or drawn on the pitch, not in the board room and not at the barrel of a gun," midfielder Darwin Russell said. "Overturning our loss would be a disgrace and I think the World Cup committee realizes that." The Incorporated Football Federation, the sport's governing body in Sarzonia, said the team would lodge an official protest of the demands by The Lowland Clans.

Meanwhile, the Stars have been hard at work preparing for their next match, saying the team is 'past' the loss.

"Hopefully, we can use the loss to motivate us to play better football," goalkeeper John Bartlett said. Wilson announced that he would get the start in the team's next match, saying he needed to have both goalkeepers ready in the event one is injured.

"We'll see what we've got back there," Wilson said.
Legalese
01-12-2004, 17:51
OOC: Guess this is a touch of a crossover post, but ah well

To: Turorian FA
From: LAFC, Legalese City Football Club

To whom it may concern,

As I hope the Leazi-Corada has expressed after his talks with George Williamson, we are shocked at the tragic circumstances which are unfolding. Let it be known that the legal efforts of the Protectorate of Legalese will be fully behind the Colony of Turori, and will be made available if necessary.

As for Martiia Rawaii, he is also ready to join the Turorians in senior action, if need be. His progression in the last 8 matches for the All-Darks has been exceptional, making him an early favorite to join the Legalese Top XI at the close of Season I. We will miss him while he's gone on the campaign, but we know that he has a greater cause.

Best wishes,

Miguel Carnalejo

Executive Director,
Legalese Association Football Confederation


Victor Luskow

Manager
Legalese City Football Club
Adam Island
01-12-2004, 18:33
President Ben Rodriquez, of The Republic of Adam Island wishes me to extend his gratitude on the behalf of the people of Adam Island and of the world to the bravery and courage of the football officials of The Island Emirate of Turori.

Your quick dismissal of the terrorists' outrageous demands serve as an inspiration to us all. I am confident that the standards of fair play in the face of the enemy will lead all participating World Cup nations to join Sarzonia, Legalese and Adam Island is standing behind you and asking that the results stand.

We urge Turori and The Belmont Family to require high standards for the security of all teams in this World Cup competition, as they travel to and from many various nations.

We thank you for your hosting of the tournament, and wish you luck in recovering your beloved officials.
Maserrat
01-12-2004, 19:16
Preview: Maserrat vs. Lethislavania

With Underdog Day finally over, things will hopefully return to normal for tonight's matches. Maserrat's opponents will be Lethislavania, who have realised that the World Cup is a little different from the Baptism Of Fire Cup. After a 6-0 demolition by Jerusalem, they were one of the few teams unlucky enough to not benefit from Underdog Day, losing to Crystilakere. However, this gives the team no reason to underestimate their opponents: they have already won a major competition, showing that they're no pushovers. Maserrat will need to approach this game with extreme caution. There have been rumours of a match played a few days ago between the teams that resulted in a 1-1 draw, and should this be true, Maserrat will already know that Lethislavania should be a tricky game. However, home advantage and experience could/should give the team the upper hand. Then again, whenever we predict a Maserrat win it never happens, so we are going to predict a draw here, just to be safe.

Prediction
Maserrat 2-2 Lethislavania
Audioslavia
01-12-2004, 20:52
Audioslavia won 3-0. Kickass, but thats not what this is about.

Rejistunned
Triple-Champs Booted off the Isle

21:07, Audioslavian Time. A pub full of Audioslavians are watching the orange-blues struggle against little-known Adams Isle. The score is 1-1. Wheras half an hour ago the pub was full of chirpy banter after everyone watched Audioslavia thump Antixillian Fatwah 3-0, all eyes are now transfixed on the screen, watching plucky Adams Isle give Rejistania a run for their money in a brilliant game. The ball comes to Haakenson on the edge of the area. The orange shirts scramble to get goal-side of him and, for once, the Rejistanian defence is all over the place. Random shouts from the pub include 'go on son! hit it!' and 'fuckin smack it man!' before the Adams Isle player takes a step to the right and lays off a ball to Zaragosa, arriving on the left hand side. Everyone in the pub gets to their feet to a few excited shouts. Zaragosa sidesteps a defender and plays a one-two with Johnson in the box with the orange-blue defence in tatters. Zaragosa recieves the ball again and takes the ball to the keepers' left before rolling the ball in and sprinting off to the touchlines to celebrate in front of the home fans. The crowd there go wild, and the pub does the same, applauding the underdogs.

The camera cuts to a shot of three Rejistanian midfielders, a couple are looking at their feet whilst the third stares disbelievingly at the goal, then at the Adams Isle celebration. The world anticipates a huge upset, not seen since the famous Lanky Dude and Endray Island upsets over TnUI and Errinundera.

Adam, we salute you.
Shonar Bangla
01-12-2004, 21:24
December 1, 2004

Lovisa-- Though in the bark, the Shonar Bangla transmits an image of a blood-thirsty highly-spirited professional and passionate football team, Shonar Bangla's performance in the Baptism of Fire Cup has shown Shonar Bangla's inclination to slack off in games they deem "unimportant."

This of course, has produced adverse effects in the past. Example, in the Baptism of Fire Cup, Shonar Bangla scored two low-scoring draws to start off the tournament, and found themselves in a tight situation where they would have to win the last two game in order to qualify for the Quarter Finals. It seems that the same mentality exists even now.

However, the author of this article is not entirely against think tanks that assess the scenario of the team and its group as games continue. On the other hand, games should never be deemed "unimportant". Apparently, there is confusion in the Shonar Bangla camp, about which strategy to enforce, because the fate of Matchday 2 game between her and Snub Nose 38 is hanging on the balance with the fiery exit of Snub Nose 38 immediately after the game.

What our team here at ESPN Star Network doesn't understand, is what is the confusion over? Will Shonar Bangla play differently against Lovisa in the event that the Snub Nose 38 catastrophe is forfeited and a replacement played with a new-comer? The only strategy that the Shonar Bangla think tank must execute is winning. As seen from the Baptism of Fire Cup, it is ultimately the "unimportant" games that finally hurt the team in the end.

All we are saying, is that without the killer instinct, Shonar Bangla will not be respected, and we are seeing recently that our "psychological warfare" is working for ****. There is a difference between the dog that barks, and the dog that bites.
Dance 2 Revolution
01-12-2004, 21:55
Maeda blasts RAF

'Formula isn't right' says Maeda

Match Day 2. This is football Jim, but not as we know it! The main story...REJISTANIA, the footballing power of the world, and a team which have annoyingly beat us THREE times in the last 2 cups...LOST A GAME against, err, Adams Isle...we think. But to our match...and it wasn't much better.

Dance 2 Revolution struck home in the 24th minute when a well-hit ball should have been easily saved by the Nastic keeper <1> but he let it go through his fingers for 1-0.

Dance 2 Revolution maybe should have been 5 up by half time, Kehsoot hitting the bar with a penalty...and then missing the follow up. And 3 other great strikes hitting the post.

The 2nd half was a more boring affair...but something happened, late...really late, a bit like the challenge which caused this incident. In the 3rd minute of 3 minutes of injury time, Qi took down <10> in the box...and harshly sent off, though replays show he may have gotten the ball. <9> stood up to take the penalty. Day saved the penalty...but the linesman wrongly accused Day of moving early...the penalty was retaken and <9> wasn't making the same mistake twice and buried it to share the points.

Final Score:
Nastic 1(<9> 90' (p) )
Dance 2 Revolution 1(Uber 24' Kehsoot m/ pen 39' Qi OFF 90')
Vilita
01-12-2004, 22:08
------------------------------------------------------
Matchday #3 Scores should be available.
------------------------------------------------------
Maserrat
01-12-2004, 22:59
Prediction
Maserrat 2-2 Lethislavania

Right result, wrong team. Hardly a surprise really, considering my tirade on the NSWC - I was bound to be 'docked' some points. Now I have to consider whether to pull out completely. No doubt that's what a lot of you would want, so expect my decision in the near future.

P.S. I said I wouldn't be back on until tomorrow - I lied, so sue me!
Shonar Bangla
01-12-2004, 23:07
Lovisa-- They were castrated, made mincemeat, fried, consumed and excreted at Lovisa today, yes, this is Shonar Bangla's story on Matchday 3, by an opposition that was ahead of it by light years. The team would do well to simply erase the last 90 minutes.

There is no reason to elaborate on this game, a game that we lost, our fans are probably crying their hearts out now. Just for the record, the score was fo........(kaboom, aah, that hurt, oh, not even the score, alright)........ Well Shonar Bangla, you might as well turn off your TV sets and go to bed. Tomorrow, the team is flying back home, for what we believe will be another whitewashing.

In other news, the Shonar Bangla Football Association has already filed its application for World Cup XX. Let us look forward to this world cup, for realistically speaking, we are done here.
Vilita
01-12-2004, 23:13
Right result, wrong team. Hardly a surprise really, considering my tirade on the NSWC - I was bound to be 'docked' some points. Now I have to consider whether to pull out completely. No doubt that's what a lot of you would want, so expect my decision in the near future.

P.S. I said I wouldn't be back on until tomorrow - I lied, so sue me!

You weren't docked anything, I didn't even scorinate today, and I don't know of any history you have with TBF so I doubt he messed with anything. Just unlucky
Lethislavania
01-12-2004, 23:36
Somber. The only mood to describe the country of Lethislavania. Dark and damp, the stadium sat coldly as the teams took the field. No shouting, no banners of colour, nothing. Pure silence and melancholy. These people lost an idol.

The game began, and Iansisle began by driblling up the field, their center forward leading the charge. He shot forward, as a bullet would, until Varnelo Parincia reared up, sliding under him to knock the ball over to Karnesky, who lofted it to Thomas Boeing. Boeing shot up the field, almost angerily, dodging the defense of the team, and aimed for the goal. Pulling back, he fired his shot, much like a cannon. It zoomed forward, untill it crashed onto the cross bar, and came down, rolling into the hands of the goalie. 'Well... That was unusual...' A sly grin coming on his face, he backpedaled to get the next ball.

The goalie booted it, quite literally, as his shoe flew off into the air, landing a few feet in front of him. After the initial Iansisle laughter was over, the kick was re-done, and Iansisle garnered the ball, heading up the field. Their Left forward slowly dribbled, looking for an opening. He saw it, as Karnesky took a miscue and left the Right Forward open. He drilled over to the forward, who then headed it into the goal. The small contingent of Iansisle fans cheered, whilst the crowd set still, not showing any sign of defeat.

The half ended with the score of 1-0, and the teams headed back. Sitting in the lounge-like locker room, Aroyyo looked down. "Men, if you could pull this off for Ned, I would be quite happy. But I realize you are sad. If you could hold them to this score, I would be pleased." He shook his head, and walked out, pulling out a cigar and lighting it, the amber flame lifting a rich, aromic scent throughout the homeside.

The game restarted, with a few more charges left in the Lethislavanian team. Cel shot up the field, and made a sharp dart to the right, and spun around, kicking the ball. However, the Iansisle goalie barely tapped it down, rendering the shot utterly useless.

No more advances were mad for either side, and the game ended, 1-0. Somer, the croud left, a silent stampede of men and women worn-out, caskets with no body.
Bedistan
01-12-2004, 23:38
The Bedistan Sports Digest

That's a Nice Win, But...
No end of confusion in Group 9
by Paul Williams

EYSTRCK -- Yes, I know what you're thinking. I'm talking about a Bedistani World Cup XIX qualifying match, and yet I cite "Eystrck" as the location? Eystrck isn't even in Group Nine! But apparently they are, and we played them today.

"But we were supposed to play Shonar Bangla today!" you protest. I must admit, I thought the same. After all, that's what the official schedule put out by Turori and the Belmore Family indicated. So imagine the shock on manager Morris McGarity's face when he received a call from the BFA while preparing to take to the pitch in Bangla informing him that his team was expected to kick off against Eystrck in five minutes. "There's no way I can get all the way to Eystrck in five minutes!" McGarity was quoted as saying. Somehow the team got there, though. How they managed it we do not know, though there is speculation that the BFA somehow got its hands on top-secret Oglethorpian time travel technology.

"But, Paul," you say, "Eystrck wasn't in Group Nine as far as I can recall." To this I say that you are mistaken. Eystrck has always been there. "But what happened to--" There was never any other nation in Eystrck's place. An un-nation, if you will. But I digress. Let's talk about the match.

Er...

Well, OK, I'm afraid I can't really tell you much about the match. Why? Because only the BFA has access to Oglethorpian time travel technology. There were no Bedistani reporters or fans in attendance. From what I've heard, there were no Eystr...Est...fans from Eystrck there either. And if they had any reporters, mum seems to be the word. So all I know is the scoreline and who scored.

Enjoy.

EYSTRCK 1
(scorer unknown, 27th minute)
BEDISTAN 3
S. Cardinal 12; J. Reinhardt 36, 74
The Eagles Nest
02-12-2004, 00:35
Lennon Marx Ambushed In TEN

Secour Scores Hat Trick in 5-0 Win

62784 spectators had come to Silver Flame Arena this cloudy day. Eagles started off with a 3-4-3 lineup. The following players had been chosen: Brown - Rebor, Negor, Holtst - Sedour, Ashallond, Graerstiow, Horace - Grotunia, Secour, Strong.

Lennox had chosen a strategic 3-4-3 formation. They fielded: Zuebieta - Bergeron, Valle, Drummond - Alonso, Wilson, Johnson, Coy - Holmstrup, Prado, Reid.

It was obvious that Lennox were using pressing as their primary tactic. At this time in the match, Lennox were using their skills at the press to successfully put pressure on their opponents. After 13 minutes Horace made a speedy advance and dropped the ball to Siggy Secour who shuffled the ball past the keeper. The score was now 1 - 0. Garric Ashallond was, after 14 minutes, almost able to extend the visitors lead with a well placed diving header but away side keeper Bryan Zuebieta saved. After 17 minutes Lennon´s Mark Valle contracted a slight foot injury, but could finish the game. Siggy Secour of Eagles was able to make an impressive rush past the sluggish Stuart Drummond, which resulted in the 2 - 0 goal. Horace increased the homes lead by putting a volley shot away on a pass from the right. 3 - 0. By now Eagles were drawing the troops back in order to defend their lead. In the 37:th minute Eagles put themselves up 4 - 0 after an attack from the right, caused by a defensive blunder. Scorer was Weber Strong. The teams went for a half-time break at 4 - 0. The fortyfive minutes were dominated by Eagles, with an impressive 79 percent possession of the ball.

Weber Strong could have put his team up another one in the 74:th minute, after a rush down the left, but his closing shot hit the post. Siggy Secour finished off an attack from the left with a spectacular scissors kick to make it 5 - 0. Siggy Secour scored the Hattrick. Siggy Secour came close to extending the homess lead as he, completely unmarked in front of the goal, lifted a ball over Bryan Zuebieta, hitting the bar. Eagles´s The referee showed Lennonss Stuart Johnson the yellow card after a particularly nasty challenge. In the 84:th minute Lennons David Reid received a yellow card for going into a challenge studs first. Norga Negor went down after a savage challenge, but could keep on playing after some medical attention.


Eagles, bringing the final ball possession rate to 86 percent, dominated the battle.

The most dominating Eagles player was without a doubt Siggy Secour. However, Amagor Sedour made a disastrous appearance. The most dominating Lennon player was without a doubt Stuart Drummond. Bryan Zuebieta was a disappointment, however. The match ends 5 - 0.



Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 The Eagles Nest 3 2 1 0 11 4 7 7 40
2 Melmond 3 1 2 0 3 1 2 5 38
3 One Red Dot 3 1 2 0 5 4 1 5 38
4 Fmjphoenix 3 1 1 1 4 4 0 4 37
5 Spaam 3 1 1 1 4 4 0 4 37
6 Phazania 3 0 3 0 5 5 0 3 36
7 Lennon Marx 3 0 2 1 1 6 -5 2 35
8 Kipto-Mare 3 0 0 3 3 8 -5 0 33


The Eagle's Nest Strike Bird Qualification Run
Matchday 1: The Eagle's Nest vs. Fmjphoenix Tie 2-2
Matchday 2: The Eagle's Nest @ Phazania Win 4-2
Matchday 3: The Eagle's Nest vs. Lennon Marx Win 5-0
Matchday 4: The Eagle's Nest @ Spaam
Matchday 5: The Eagle's Nest vs. One Red Dot
Matchday 6: The Eagle's Nest @ Kipto-Mare
Matchday 7: The Eagle's Nest vs. Melmond
-----------------------------------------------------
Matchday 8: The Eagle's Nest @ Fmjphoenix
Matchday 9: The Eagle's Nest vs. Phazania
Matchday 10: The Eagle's Nest @ Lennon Marx
Matchday 11: The Eagle's Nest vs. Spaam
Matchday 12: The Eagle's Nest @ One Red Dot
Matchday 13: The Eagle's Nest vs. Kipto-Mare
Matchday 14: The Eagle's Nest @ Melmond
Bedistan
02-12-2004, 02:09
Rick pressed the numbers 4-0-1 on his remote control. Ah, BSTV. A man's paradise on an otherwise gloomy Wednesday night. At the moment they were recapping the latest BPL First Division results. Dennis won their match...big shock there. After all, they'd won the last two championships and were behind only Yuba Utd in total championships won. Now that's done, and the guy at the desk moves on to talking about the World Cup qualifier.

"Hammerund?" Rick couldn't help thinking. "Where the hell is Hammerund?" Regardless of where the nation was, their 130th-or-so ranked team had performed as expected, falling to the Lions three-nil at Fillmore. "Glad we're not cursed this year, at least not yet. TLC, Sarzonia, Tadjikistan -- they've all been suffering. I suppose we can't be far off." Then, of course, there was the news that Bedistan had won the Eagle's Cup. "Won it? That's a hoax of course. No team from Bedistan that has players over the age of twenty-one can win a bloody thing."

Then the guy on TV went back to talking about the World Cup. "Make up your mind!" Rick shouted at him. The next match was apparently to be played against Shonar Bangla. "You sure about that? Last time you said that they wound up in Eystrck. Probably be in Ogle-freakin'-thorpia this time around."

That said, Rick headed to the fridge in preparation for the upcoming Commerce Heights gridiron game. Lexington versus Saint Raphael. "Oughta be a great game..."

------

BEDISTAN 3 (Reinhardt 42, Yu 55, Washburn 70)
HAMMERUND 0
Commerce Heights
02-12-2004, 03:34
That said, Rick headed to the fridge in preparation for the upcoming Commerce Heights gridiron game. Lexington versus Saint Raphael. "Oughta be a great game..."
OOC: According to the leagion results file, the only game St. Raphael played was against Kitsilano. Somehow, they ended up with a 4-4-2 record in the table. o_O

OOC: This is ICly before MD3.

The Aeropag Tribune—Providing you with mostly-useless information for over 20 years
Sunday, 11 April 39 – §2.94 – Page 1

Nabla Computers® Z-Box® Top Story™
Where’s Margaret?
Series of strange occurences prompts “wild priestess chase”
KAMARI KALI, Rejistania—Three days ago: The well-known Snub Nose 38 newspaper Scuttlebutt published its last edition, announcing the withdrawl of the so-called “Hooligans” from World Cup 19. All contact with the Frost-Free Borderlands has been cut off.

Two days ago: Ken Welling, a software engineer from St. Raphael, lost on the TV show Monopoly! after failing to correctly identify the tax-preperation firm W. & C. Thomson as the largest Capitalizt corporation doing business entirely outside of Commerce Heights, ending his 74-game winning streak on the show at the hands of Nancy Protoss. (Welling’s answer? “Capitalizt Parcel Services!”)

Yesterday: The unknown nation Adam Island defeated Rejistania in the World Cup 19 qualifiers, ending the team's 26-game non-losing streak with a 1‒2 loss.

These unusual events have caused people throughout the world to ask, “Where’s Margaret?”

As some may already know, Margaret—or, more formally, “the person we know only as Margaret”—is a priestess of the random number “gods,” and works for The Department Of Which We Can’t Remeber The Full Name In The Frost-Free Borderlands Of Snub Nose 38. Her sacrifices, usually artificial chickens, have influenced the outcomes of World Cup matches and other random events for nearly 50 years—even the match to which the famous phrase “Aquilla defeated Busby 3‒1” refers was the work of Margaret. Although the Capitalizt soccer team is currently doing well without Margaret, it is likely that, given her acceptance of monetary incentives, the team will no longer be on par with past performances.

Margaret was last seen in Sten, outside the headquarters of the DOWWCRTFNITFFBOSN38. She is believed to have left Snub Nose 38, but may still be in hiding. If you have any information on the whereabouts of Margaret—or a certain dilapidated rubber chicken (serial number FSF789‒2HIG)—please contact the Commerce Heights Footballing Federation at 248693‒308‒555‒8212.
Sarzonia
02-12-2004, 04:19
Stars slip by Slaikau 1-0

Portland, Somerset (ASP) -- It wasn't the statement match the Sarzonian national team desperately wanted to make after a flat loss in its previous match, but the Stars will take it. An own goal by a Slaikau defender trying to clear the ball out of danger proved to be the only goal the Stars would need and the group's third seed held on for a 1-0 win.

"We're not worried about style points, we want three points [for a win]," Coach Dave Wilson said. "I've said all along I don't care if we win 1-0 against the worst team in football, a win's a win."

The Stars started reserve goalkeeper John Bartlett after starter Troy Perkins started the first two matches and he notched the first clean sheet of the tournament for Sarzonia. Bartlett made four saves as the defense steadied itself around him, not allowing a single shot on goal after the 74th minute as the Stars tried to break a scoreless deadlock.

"Their keeper was tough, man," forward Barry Alphonso said. "I don't know how he made some of those saves." The match looked periously close to ending in a scoreless draw until the 84th minute when midfielder George Mitcham sent a bending cross from the right flank into the six yard box. The reserve defender for Slaikau tried to send the ball forward to get the ball out of danger, but he mishit the ball and it slipped past a panicked goalkeeper for a 1-0 lead the Stars wouldn't relinquish.

"That was a tough break," the defender said, looking despondent in the visitor's locker room. "They're a good team and we could have used the boost."

The Stars get ready to face regional rivals Antixilian Fatwah away and Wilson already was reminding his team not to take the footballing newcomers lightly long before the team boarded the plane for the short flight across Atlantian Oceania.

"We saw what happened again when you take an opponent for granted," Wilson said. "We can't afford to let that happen again."
Legalese
02-12-2004, 04:45
Shot at upset thwarted by "Dead Guy on Horse"
El Cid the Hero 2, Legalese 1

Legalese took the pitch tonight, in hopes of improving their record. Despite a draw with Group 6 favorite Kaze Progressa, a loss to The Weegies put Legalese down early, leading into this all-important match with El Cid the Hero.

The match started well for the Black and Red, as Carlos Manachev scored in the 37th minute. Sadly, the Red and Yellow-clad opponents responded quickly, with a goal by Sid Kan. Further attacks by Kan kept Keeper Tommy Walters on his toes all day, as he mentioned after the match.

"That left forward there (Kan), he's a serious player out there", said Walters. "He gave me trouble every moment he came in close. I was lucky to keep him to one goal, other than that cheap trick he pulled late."

The "cheap trick" that Walters referred to took place in the 80th minute. After Frederick Francis dropped El Cid Striker Fred Gruber, the Heroes set up a free kick about 25 yards away from the goal. Legalese responded with a wall, hoping to thwart Keanu Brown's attempt.

Suddenly, as Brown was setting up, a running Kan fell to the ground, just off to the side of play, 30 yards upfield. Taking advantage of the distraction, Brown fired a curving shot, splitting the area between the heads of Francis and Julius Crail, created when Francis turned to look at Kan. The ball sneaked past Walters, to give El Cid the Hero three points and the win.

"I've heard of this tactic before," said Manager Robbie Heard after the match. "I believe they call it 'Dead Man on a Horse'. It's a shame that it's not considered unsporting behavior."

After the match, when questioned about the situation, referee Alabaster Monte replied, "All I can say about the situation is that Kan's fall was not deemed a deception attempted to distract the defence. Therefore, there was no unsporting behavior on the play."

Heard did not agree, but was not critical of Monte.

"He called a good match, the free kick notwithstanding", said Heard. "In the end, though, it was our fault that we lost that point. We will have to work harder in training, to make sure we can get on the winning side for a change."

Legalese will take on NEWI Cefn Druids in their next matchday, at Legalese National. This will be their first meeting with their near-neighbors on the Island.
Big Pimento
02-12-2004, 06:03
Big Pimento Narrowly Edges By Cardboard Cut-Outs
First half own goal kept things interesting

It was already assured that Big Pimento would leave the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38, but a large contingent of Hooligan fans came out to see a world-class international football match and were disappointed that they'd be going home empty handed. Not wanting to refund money to all those angry Hooligans, stadium owner Mary Christmas struck a deal with the Pimento F.A. to have the Big Pimento side play a match against cardboard cut-outs of the old Snub Nose 38 squad. It seemed like an easy enough task, just dribble a ball around a bunch of pilons.

But this isn't an elite squad we're talking about here, these are the Futility Kings, the team which practically invented losing. The match started off according to plan, as Boris Valentine first hit the target in the 2nd minute of play to push Big Pimento up two. After a rough battle which saw the ball glued to the midfield, Pimento defender Bertrand Makalari attempted to clear the ball, but had it blocked by the statue of Petunia Pig. The ball richocheted towards net and goalkeeper Pedro Madhavapeddi was having a hard time judging it. He was able to put a fist on the ball, but it remained in the Pimentos six-yard box. Trying to thwart the dangerous situation, Valeri Sharapov came hustling in and attempted to clear the trickling ball out of play, but it took a bad hop on him and he thumped it into the back of the net. The Hooligans seemed somewhat unexcited after equalising the match.

That goal showed that the Pimentos were taking their opponents too lightly and they'd have to step up the flow of play. The Pimentos came out with a little added edge, but as with the case with Rufus "Red" Southgate, he came out with a bit too much. Southgate, fresh off his one-game suspension after receiving a red card in the match against Bedistan, seemingly suffered a brain cramp and forgot which sport he was playing. Southgate's tackle on Mickey Mouse was more akin to American football than real football, as he shot threw the air and flattened the poor mouse. Mickey lay motionless for minutes before paramedics carted him off and replaced him with Barney Rubble in place. Mickey Mouse wasn't the only one escorted off the field, as Rufus was also shown the red and the showers.

Despite being a man down for the conclusion of the match, Big Pimento managed to score two more goals. How they scored them? Who cares. They were playing against moderately-well crafted lifesize cardboard models and were only able to score three goals in ninety minutes. That's worse than pathetic. It makes abominable look like superb. It simply leaves me with no superlatives to explain the crap-tacularness of their performance.

"We did what it took to win and that's it," said Captain Boris Valentine after the match. "We weren't intent on embarassing these guys at home. The way I look at it, we came in against a tough team in front of a tough crowd and came out with a W. Those Ws are what we've been trying to get all along."

Regardless whether Big Pimento was taking it easy on what was left of Snub Nose 38, they'll still have to pull a great effort off to Polak Princes of Lovisa. Lovisa's looked great at home where they've smoked their opposition, but this one will be in front of a raucus crowd in Karlsberg, Big Pimento. Match organizers are hoping for a sellout, which would mark the largest ever home attendance to ever watch a national game. The current record mark stands at 38,200 and Karlsberg Stadium can comfortably sit 47,000.
Fmjphoenix
02-12-2004, 08:04
One Red Dot puts up one more Dot than the Vikings can put up

One Red Dot told Fmjphoenix, not yet, as they outplayed the Vikings 2-1 in the Vikings first loss of World Cup XIX. The Vikings came into the game tied for first place in Group 5, but now find themselves out of the top three, but still in the running.

THe match started out slowly, as neither team took much initiative to push hard, as the first shot did not get taken until the 15th minute, which Vikings Goalkeeper Powell Lamar easily deflected. The first score didnt happen until the 36th minute, when ORD Striker Mikey Wrenning took a pass, juked away from Viking defender Bobby Bash, and slammed one in the back of the net to go up 1-0. During the first time stoppage, ORD nearly got another goal off of the back of Tra Miranda, but Lamar managed to catch it as the half ended. When the second half started up, the Vikings looked a little more fierce, as they came out passing, hustling, and moving much better than they did in the first half. Mike Nolan scored the Vikings lone goal at the 73rd minute, as he was left alone near the goal and recieved a pass from Carlos Santos to tie it at 1 a piece. But sadly, the Vikings would not be able to take the lead. After a caught shot attempt from Vikings captian Jorge Mendel, the goalkeeper lobbed the ball to midfield, where ORD Striker Cuthbert Siphen then passed up to ORD's captian Touya Akikawa, who hooked the ball over Lamar to give ORD the lead at the 87th minute, which would hold up.

With this loss, the Vikings find themselves tied with Spaam for 4th place in Group 5. TO stay up top, the Vikings will have to rebound and play hard and determined against Melmond. Look for the Vikings to rely heavily on their dynamic duo of Mendel & Nolan, and also look for other players to step up at this critical time.

Fmjphoenix Vikings Schedule and Record
Matchday 1: Fmjphoenix @ The Eagles Nest Draw 2-2
Matchday 2: Fmjphoenix vs Spaam Win 1-0
Matchday 3: Fmjphoenix @ One Red Dot Lose 2-1
Matchday 4: Fmjphoenix vs Melmond
Matchday 5: Fmjphoenix vs Phazania
Matchday 6: Fmjphoenix @ Lennon Marx
Matchday 7: Fmjphoenix vs Kipto-Mare
------------------------------------------
Matchday 8: Fmjphoenix vs The Eagles Nest
Matchday 9: Fmjphoenix @ Spaam
Matchday 10: Fmjphoenix vs One Red Dot
Matchday 11: Fmjphoenix @ Melmond
Matchday 12: Fmjphoenix @ Phazania
Matchday 13: Fmjphoenix vs Lennon Marx
Matchday 14: Fmjphoenix @ Kipto-Mare
Record - 1-1-1

Group 4 Standings
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts
1 The Eagles Nest 3 2 1 0 11 4 7 7
2 Melmond 3 1 2 0 3 1 2 5
3 One Red Dot 3 1 2 0 5 4 1 5
4 Fmjphoenix 3 1 1 1 4 4 0 4
5 Spaam 3 1 1 1 4 4 0 4
6 Phazania 3 0 3 0 5 5 0 3
7 Lennon Marx 3 0 2 1 1 6 -5 2
8 Kipto-Mare 3 0 0 3 3 8 -5 0
Starblaydia
02-12-2004, 13:00
Starblaydia get the job done
Big Purple Machine keeping on rolling

Unknown Taokoualu were the lasted victims of Starblaydia's might at the Silverlands Stadium, falling Two-Nil in a scoreline that really should have been much bigger.

On another night Eomer Hall would have walked away with the match ball but a string of impressive saves and near-misses kept him at bay. It was one of Hall's efforts that set up Marco Del Blanco, in for Jakkinho up front, allowing the young Daii striker to pounce in the twenty-fourth minute. Roberto Di Bradini scored his sixth goal for Starblaydia, giving the brothers a combined fourty-one goals for Starblaydia Triumphant. Without those, who knows where we'd be?

Taokoualu were kept at bay by a Starblaydi defence that hasn't conceded in three games, matching World Cup 17 and 18 Qualifying records of three straight clean sheets.

World Cup 17 Qualifiers
MD11: Starblaydia Vs Liechtenistan 2-0 Haldorsson, Tissot
MD12: Starblaydia Vs Giant Zucchini 1-0 S Di Bradini
MD13: Iansisle Vs Starblaydia 0-0 None

World Cup 18 Qualifiiers
MD7: Starblaydia Vs The Evil Umpire 2-0 Naoki, S Di Bradini
MD8: The Latin Union Vs Starblaydia 2-0 Bachchan, Hall
MD9: Starblaydia Vs Sonova 4-0 S Di Bradini (2), Berisha, Stark

World Cup 19 Qualifiers
MD1: Starblaydia Vs Dead Rockstars 3-0 Naoki, Hall, S Di Bradini
MD2: Lexmarak Vs Starblaydia 4-0 Jakkinho (2), Evans, Matranga
MD3: Starblaydia Vs Taokoualu 2-0 Del Blanco, R. Di Bradini

The WC17Q record is argueably the best, given how good Starblaydia weren't, along with the opposition in a near-full strength Zucchini side and powerful Iansisle team. Starblaydia will have to go some, however, to beat the WC18Q record of 5 straight wins which began a string of eight undefeated games, easily booking themselves first-class airplane tickets to Eauz. Lets hope Starblaydia manage to make it to The Belmore Family and Turori too.

Final Score from Silverlands:
Starblaydia 2 - 0 Taokoualu
(Del Blanco 24, R. Di Bradini 57) - (None)
Jeruselem
02-12-2004, 13:21
Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem part the Oceanice

It was an interesting encounter. Oceanice who had beaten Iansisle and Maserrat faced a Jeruselem who had been humiliated by a Runaway Moose on match day two. It was the real test for Oceanice who had shown favourites don't always win against a team who could destroy a defense as Lethislavania found out.

They failed. Oceanice was hammered into the ground 5-1 by Jeruselem who made them look like complete amateurs and the last two games were forgotten. It was the same Jeruselem on match day one who played like God was on their side and Oceanice crumbled under real pressure.

In other games Iansisle put down Lethislavania in a less than inspiring win, but they are winning which matters. Crystilakere had little trouble with the crazy Runaway Moose, winning 2-0 against the team whicb beat Jeruselem 2-1 last game. Maserrat drew 2 all with 7JM as they had predicted.

When asked why Jeruselem started scoring goals compared to last world cup, the coach said "Practice on dodgy grounds to improve our skills on any type of ground. There are plenty of dodgy grounds in Jeruselem".

In Group 5, The Eagle's Nest showed communism does not work by thrashing Lennon Marx 5 - 0 in another one-side game.

Group 3
Iansisle 1 - 0 Lethislavania
Crystilakere 2 - 0 Runaway Moose
Jeruselem 5 - 1 Oceaice
Maserrat 2 - 2 7JM
NEWI Cefn Druids
02-12-2004, 13:26
The Daily Druid

DRUIDS BEAT SLIPONIA!!!
Björn-Trevor Frederiksson on NEWI Cefn Druids 5 Sliponia 1

It was the clash we'd been waiting for. Ever since... well, quite a while ago, sports teams from Sliponia and NEWI Cefn Druids have been battling it out against each other. After varying results in Field Hockey and Handball, it was down to what the Druids once did worst but now do best - football.

Of course, Sliponia have been out of the game for a fair while, but that didn't make much of a difference to the Druidish players, they were up for this one like they've never been up for any game in their life. And it showed.

The poor Slips were helpless as the Druids, led by Alan Belmore, ripped them to shreds. By half-time, a Belmore inspired Druids side were a whopping 4-0 ahead. Enough for his father/manager Trevor Belmore to give him a rest in the second half.

The Druids really just used the second half to wind the demoralised Slips up. They passed the ball around easily, and even scored one, when Belmore's replacement, Rhys Owens, layed a free kick off to Bill Posters, who showed he can still play by thwacking the ball home from 25 yards.

Of course, the Druids being the Druids, they ended up getting just a little too cocky, with centre back Roland McDonald passing to teh Sliponian forward Kieth Beard, who had no problem beating Lee Bell in goal.

So 5-1 against an old foe, it really doesn't get much better than that. Next up, a local derby game against Legalese. Of course Legalese play in black and red, colours that feature on the Druids' home and away kits respectively. So they will have to play in their third kit, which, for some bizarre reason is orange and blue. What a horrible combination! I mean, who in their right minds would wear orange and blue?

Final score:
NEWI Cefn Druids 5 [Belmore 12, 24, 42, Law 33, Posters 65]
Sliponia 1 [Beard 79]
Druida
02-12-2004, 13:59
The Tribune Tribune
Serving Druid Tribune and the surrounding area

RAINBOWS ROCK ON
Trefor Blackmore on Druida 4 Dead Rockstars 0

Well, after posing endless questions about Dead Rockstars in our preview to the game match, not many of them were really answered as they were thrashed by the rainbows 4-0. From the press box, I don't know if they were ghosts, zombies, who knows? But, for their own sakes and ours, they might as well have not come.

For starters, the rockstars sent a huge rider that meant that the Druidan officials had to lay on Drink, Drugs, Girls and, especially for Richey Edwards, the Complete Works of Sylvia Plath. Don't ask. Not only that, but each player turned up individually in vehicles ranging from huge tour buses to stinky little vans.

On the pitch, they played like musicians as well, bashing and strumming and howling. Not really what was asked for. In the end, Druida won 4-0. There was a goal each for Andrews and Vincent, while the other two were own goals by Kurt Cobain. He looked suicidal by the end, but as he'd already been there and done that, I'm not really sure what he'd actually do? Can dead rockstars die again?

We'll stop before all the questions become too much. Lexmarak away is Druida's next match, not a team we really know that much about, so we can't really preview it very well. So instead, we'll review the table... yes! Druida are top of Group 1!!! To be honest, it is only on alphabetical order over Starblaydia. Both have 3-0-0 records and 9-0 goal difference, so there's nothing to seperate them at all. The pair are two points ahead of Squornshelous and Krytenia.

And in the other groups? Most things went expectedly, other than another disastrous result for The Lowland Clans (beaten at home by Zvarinograd) and an unexpected home thrashing for Tadjikistan (4-1 to Finrods). Phazania also managed a draw against Melmond in the other most noteable result of the day.

Elsewhere, Druidan President Margaret Smith declared his interest in the nation hosting a World Cup in the near future. "Obviously not World Cup 20, we're still getting over Margaretisation," he said, "but World Cup 21 will definately see Druida bid to host the competition. All we need is a willing partner who agrees with everything we say, and we'll be submitting the bid quicker than you can say Lethivsla... Levisthlav... Letsavthis... um... the Baptism of Fire winners' name."
Piquantrax
02-12-2004, 18:01
Fans were screaming, yelling, hollering, and yes indeed, hooting upon hearing the news that their nation team had actually won a game. So great was their pride that they erected makeshift statues of all the players. However, as the day wore on adn the cool of night began to set in, the statues were used as firewood to keep the crowd warm while the celebrations continued.
As always some hooligans broke into some stores and were promptly beaten to death by the owners, which of course is illegal, so the police had to take them out to a "work camp" so they could learn their lessons.
With order restored things continued without a flaw.
Anyways congrats to all who won and lost, we are still havin fun.
Although the record stands as 1-2, hopefully we will come back.
Party Hardy,
Piquantrax

We're :sniper: for a win.

OHHH YEAH
Why does it seem like my group is so quiet?
Eauz
02-12-2004, 19:01
Le LIBRE

Maybe too much emphasis on defence?

Les Bleus came back home to Le Stade D’Eauz, and to once again another empty stadium, with a recorded 300 people in the stadium. This was not looking good for Les Bleus as an organization, due to the fact that teams visiting would assume negative things about Les Bleus club. Fans know though that now, the success of Les Bleus is only because they are playing against new teams to the cup, which have very little experience. Unfortunately, the opponent team wouldn’t tell Les Bleus or others what their name was, so this report can only tell of Villapagne players in general. Villapagne, coming into this match had been playing fairly well, and were looking to keep up the surprise that they are, despite being ranked 150 as a newbie to the WC. The fans at the stadium were mainly passive and not big Eauz or football fans.

The match started, and Les Bleus were obviously looking to defend early in the match using system Karela, as they wanted to know what type of attacking system Villapange would be using during this match. It seemed as if they were using a pressing system to try and block off Eauz, but due to the weak midfield, Villapange did not do this well. During the 20th minute of play, with Eauz in possession, Vasser sent the ball down field, with Eauz attackers following. Fighting back the ball, D'Aubigne sent the ball towards the goal, with no real purpose, but Alia was there to head it, but the ball hit off the crossbar and back into play. Rousseau took another shot, but it went out of play. The Villapange keeper sent a long kick down field, but it didn’t help the team much. Les Bleus were surprised though that Villapange was putting up a strong attack against Les Bleus. Despite holding possession of the ball for 74% of the match, Les Bleus would be stalemated in the first half by Villapange and their defence. At this point in the match, the 300 fans had reduced to 197 people probably because they assumed Les Bleus were slumping back into their old problems.

The second half brought a bit more excitement, as Les Bleus were facing an assault of attacks from the up to now silent Villapange offence. In the first 2 minutes, 5 shots on goal and 2 off target, but Rousoi stood strong along with his defence and kept the score at 0 – 0. The 80th minute of play in the match came around, and Les Bleus were hungry for another 3 points. They also didn’t want to show their fans that they were turning into the old Eauz of the past. Les Bleus surprised Villapange when Vasser and Alia got in the open and took it to the net. Vasser got the pass and sent the ball into the top right corner, putting Les Bleus up 1 – 0. With the goal, Les Bleus pretty much ended the Villapange dreams for winning or tying the match, as Les Bleus finished the match 1 – 0.

With the victory, the coach is pleased to see his team atop group 7 with 9 points, but is worried about his offence, only scoring 1 goal, with many opportunities during that match. Despite this, he doesn’t assume there will be any problems, and will have a team meeting when they reach their next destination. As for their next destination, they will be going to The Evil Umpire. The last time Les Bleus were there, they were threatened to be killed, but had won the match, thus no killings occurred. The Evil Umpire is looking for revenge though, and will hope they can do better next time. There is no roster for The Evil Umpire, so Les Bleus will assume they are the same inbred team that they are the last time these 2 teams met. TEU will be looking to lift themselves out of the 6th position.


Schedule

Match Day 1: Adam Island @ Eauz W 1 - 3
Match Day 2: Eauz @ Hiiraan W 4 - 0
Match Day 3: Villapange @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Match Day 4: Eauz @ The Evil Umpire
Match Day 5: Kylaai @ Eauz
Match Day 6: Eauz @ Esth
Match Day 7: Eauz @ Rejistania

Match Day 8: Eauz @ Adam Island
Match Day 9: Hiiraan @ Eauz
Match Day 10: Eauz @ Villapange
Match Day 11: The Evil Umpire @ Eauz
Match Day 12: Eauz @ Kylaai
Match Day 13: Esth @ Eauz
Match Day 14: Rejistania @ Eauz


Group 7 GP W D L GF : GA GD P
Eauz 3 3 0 0 8 : 1 7 9
Rejistania 3 2 0 1 8 : 5 3 6
Esth 3 2 0 1 7 : 5 2 6
Kylaai 3 1 1 1 6 : 5 1 4
Villiapange 3 1 1 1 5 : 5 0 4
The Evil Umpire 3 1 0 2 4 : 5 -1 3
Adam Island 3 1 0 2 5 : 8 -3 3
Hiiraan 3 0 0 3 2 :11 -9 0
Sarzonia
02-12-2004, 20:04
Stars set for debut of regional rivals

Antixilian Fatwah may be new to the World Cup and a new opponent for the Sarzonian national team, but Coach Dave Wilson said he is sure the Stars will see a lot more of their Atlantian Oceania regionmates in the future.

"Any time you have teams you face in your own regional tournament, you know it's going to be extra intense in the World Cup," Wilson said. "When we played Starblaydia [in World Cup 17], those were some of the most intense games I've ever been a part of."

The Stars will return goalkeeper Troy Perkins to the starting 11 after John Bartlett's seventh clean sheet in 10 starts. Six of the clean sheets and nine of the starts came in AOCAF 4, which was the first appearance of a second choice Sarzonian national team in a tournament. Bartlett and other players from that team shined and earned a spot on the first choice team.

"John was a great find," Wilson said. "[Assistant coach David Bostwick] was very high on him after the tournament. You watch the guy during the matches and your jaw drops. But we need to get Troy back in there. He's our man."

The Stars (2-0-1, six points) are now in a tie with Zvarinograd for third place in Group 8 after their surprising 1-0 win over The Lowland Clans, who came into the World Cup as the second seed. Top seeded and sixth ranked Audioslavia stands at 3-0 in sole possession of first place in the group, while fourth seeded Lykaia is one point clear of the Stars in second place. But Wilson cautioned the team against placing too much stock in the early tables.

"Anything can happen. There's still 11 games left," Wilson said. "I mean, the Lowland Clans could find their kits replaced with ball gowns and high heels tomorrow and finish in last place for all you know." Turning serious, Wilson added, "We were leading our group with two matches to go in World Cup 16 and we only needed one win to go through to the finals but we were facing the group's two highest-ranked teams away. You can't count your chickens in the World Cup."
Vilita
02-12-2004, 20:16
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
Vilita Goalscorers::
28' Jürgen Ramzi
31' Callum Banda
70' Jan Christiansen
72' Inaki Soler
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

-------------------


Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Ricky Ezis
Worst Player: Esemar Aliana
Shots on Target: 8
Corner Kicks: 7

Opponents

Best Player:
Worst Player:
Shots on Target: 0
Corner Kicks: 0


http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif
Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Ricky Ezis, [D] Esemar Aliana, [D] Emarka Laniora, [DMC] Jürgen Ramzi, [ML] Santo Kecker, [MC] Marasent Sioane, [MC] Jacques Vintila, [MR] Inaki Soler, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni, [FC] Callum Banda,
BENCH::
[FC] Jan Christiansen, [FC] Serge DuPont, [M] Umberto Melli, [M] Jonathon Baledrokadroka, [U] Niccoló Mazzeo, [D] Petros Alfieri, [GK] Delain Falcón,

Vilita Substitutions::
(37) - Jürgen Ramzi >>> Jonathon Baledrokadroka
(69) - Riccardo Appolloni >>> Jan Christiansen
(74) - Ricky Ezis >>> Niccoló Mazzeo
Svecia
02-12-2004, 20:38
VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

LIGHTNING STORM PAST STUBBORN HUAHIN
Solskjaer leads team with two goals, two assists

Svecia 4 Huahin 1

VILÄMNA, Svecia - A large, bright, obnoxious crowd turned out last night to watch their Lightning dominate a much weaker, but very pesky Huahin team. With the score still only 1-1 at halftime, Lightning fans were beginning to wonder if their team would fall apart again like they did in the opening qualifying match where they lost to 80th ranked Hapard 1-0.

But Mikael Solskjaer, in his usual fashion, took the team on his shoulders and put away two solid finishes and assisted on the third.

Svecia drew first blood in the 18th minute off a Hannes Ljungberg header served up from Solskjaer´s corner kick. Huahin answered 15 minutes later with their own corner kick header that silenced the crowd for the rest of the half.

The second half got underway as the Lightning besieged the Huahin goal with shots, but only 1 of their 6 early half shots made it to the target. A defensive stand and brief Huahin counterattack followed but after that it was all Svecia with three unanswered goals.

Solskjaer gave Svecia their lead back in the 61st minute with a well worked passing series with midfielder Druijf de Vlieger. Solskjaer controlled a long ball from Ljungberg and played a one-two with de Vlieger inside the penalty area, completely throwing the Huahin defense on their heels, before chipping the ball over the stranded keeper.

Three minutes later it was Solskjaer again with an unassisted goal. A mispass in the back by Huahin was pounced on by Solskjaer and calmly put into the net.

The final Svecia goal, coming to the cheers of 70.000 in the Rijksstadion, was a beautiful through ball to Joël Simão from Solskjaer.

After a horrible match against Hapard, the Lightning have bounced back quite well, outscoring their opponants 7-2 in the last two matches. They look to continue their offensive outbursts against The Immaculate Youth before returning home to take on the toughest team in the group, Commerce Heights, a hated capitalist rival.
Vilita
02-12-2004, 20:48
--------------------------------------------------
Matchday 4 scores are now posted.
--------------------------------------------------
Rejistania
02-12-2004, 21:20
Hakuna Matata*

The Orange-Blues had no problems against the national team of Hiiraan. After the humiliation against Adam Island (which never happened), the Orange-Blues wanted to prove that they are better than an abysmali first league team. The question remains whether they are good enough for qualification (foreign readers might note that the question of defending the title is none anymore).

The Na~ovi Nanti Stadium was completely sold out and Na~ovia kali experienced serious logistically problems with 70,000 fans from all parts of Rejistania and from the renamed nation of Hiiraan trying to reach the stadium per public transport or through the narrow Na~ovian streets. The Orange-Blues played a System Hangila against the guests, whose tactic was even more aggressive. Coach SyLy said before the match: "I know that they attacked as if they were payed by goals when the country was Somalialand, I do not exactly expect something else from them now, that means especially: nothing like a defense." Minikse'he, who scored his first international hat trick was able to profit from that as well as Dikelesinivetisaru'he, who increased the score in a free kick in the 85th minute. Jirik, No one will write this, the nation is still celebrating

*OOC: that's the only bit of Swahili, I know. It means: there are no problems. Hiiraan's player can speak Swahili iirc, so I thought it was a good idea
Rejistania
02-12-2004, 21:34
Excuse to our readers

The KaMaRi Update, International edition, released an incomplete article about the match against Hiiraan, partly that was because the national edition was hindered from being issued due to celebrations of the 4:1, and partly because the editor in chief was not quite sober. International readers might consider this strange, but we can only hope that they underwstand that football is no matter of life or death, but for more important. The normal quality of this newspaper is not affected by that.
Adam Island
02-12-2004, 21:37
Adam Island Loses To Kylaai

KYLAAI- The Adam Islanders lost on Matchday 3 to The Reformed Islands of Kylaai by scoring only two goals to Kylaai's four.

Kylaai was once a nudist nation, and was barred from competition because their players refused to wear any clothing. Adam Islander fans responded to this by waving placards representing nude football players being trampled by Adam Islanders.

The game started out well for Kylaai, when their keeper Mandoo Nania blocked a close shot by Adelaide Haakenson, and then striker Mazu Kazu got one past keeper Paco Naccarato who was sluggish in the box. His teammates described him as "distracted and sweaty."

Despite their 4-4-2 formation, Kylaai managed to score two more goals in the first half. The last of these, a powerful strike by Vlanti Vimorta from the left side of the field, struck Naccarato in the stomach and toppled him over before it rolled onto the ground for a goal. The 23-year old goalie from Adam City began to roll on the grass and vomit all over the beautiful Kylaain field. He was replaced by reserve Nita Talarico, and carried off on a stretcher. No word was given as to his condition.

At the half, Adam Island was down 3-0. Manager Deidra Gowin decided to mix it up and switched to a 4-2-4 formation, replacing center midfielder Leeann Bernet with forward Ted Coelho, giving him his first playing time in international competition.

The addition of Coelho proved to be a wise move, distracting defenders from the powerful Haakenson, who scored two goals off assists from Celina Fesperman.

They proved to be not enough however, as Kylaai tacked even one more goal onto their score, giving Kazu a hat trick.

POS PLAYER SOG -G -A
LF Haakenson 5-2-0
CF Fesperman 1-0-2
CF Coelho 1-0-0

KEEPER GA-Sv
Naccarato 3-0
Talarico 1-1

LAST GAME: KYL 4, AI 2
NEXT GAME: EST@AI



Haakenson Defeats Esth!

Adam City, East Island- Adam Island has never lost more than one match in a row, and that streak was continued today thanks to a last-minute goal by perpetual star Adelaide Haakenson.

In The ADAMDOME in the capital city of Adam City, the crowd was nervous but excited. After their stunning upset of Rejistania, it seemed as though they could do anything- and anything is what they would need against #33 ranked Esth.

Keeper Paco Naccarato, who had left yesterday's match early with what turned out to be a bad case of the flu, had been doped up with the latest drugs and was doing backflips in the goalbox. He deflected three shots in the first half, and made up for the lackluster offensive play of his teammates downfield.

The normally dominant Adam Island front line, which scored seven goals in its first international match, was having trouble navigating the tough Esth defense. Twilla Novello was fouled on one occasion, but on many more she had the ball stripped from her by aggressive tacklers. She is generally regarded as the quickest player on the team, but her shoes seemed made of lead today.

Manager Gowin left the formation at the usual 3-4-3 after the half, despite her changing it up yesterday with good results. The defensive deadlock continued into the late parts of the game, and the groundskeepers and television stations prepared for overtime.

In the 80th minute, running on nothing but injury time, Adam Island's midfielder Terrence Jhonson had the ball at quarterfield. Assailed by an oncoming defender, he quickly spotted Adelaide Haakenson battling a tight defense up top and dished the ball to her. She gained possession and spun with it around the defender, wildly shooting the ball off-balance and into the goal!

Esth's keeper booted the ball downfield, but the whistle sounded and the game was over. An exciting 1-0 victory for Adam Island!

POS PLAYER SOG-G-A
LM Jhonson 0-0-1
LF Haakenson 2-1-0
CF Fesperman 1-0-0

KEEPER GA-Sv
Naccarato 0-7

LAST GAME: AI 1, EST 0
NEXT GAME: AI @ TEU
Starblaydia
02-12-2004, 21:53
How'd We Get So Good?
Starblaydia score 13, concede 0

I thought we were meant to have a leaky defence? The average Vorpal punter may have put a Bone or two on Starblaydia conceding at least one goal, but that just hasn't happened. What is going on?

Eomer Hall bagging a brace is womething to marvel at, too, though he has been threatening to do that for a while, particularly in the last match against Taokoualu. A welcome goal from Jerome Montefalcon and a fourth from Jakkinho put the result way beyond doubt as Starblaydia get ready to host the Druids of Druida at the Bekkside Stadium.

Who would have thought that Starblaydia Vs Druida would be a top-of-the-table clash after four matches? Certainly not this reporter, ladies and gentlemen. Though Starblaydia and Druida have hardly been apart for the last few years, placed together in almost every major championship in recent history. Starblaydia have the edge of the Druids, though with the way these two teams are playing, expect either 0-0 or 4-4.

Final Score from Vorpal Bunnies:
Vorpal Bunnies 0 - 4 Starblaydia
(None) - (Hall 43 & 67, Montefalcon 52, Jakkinho 71)
Sarzonia
02-12-2004, 22:13
Stars sneak into third, win 1-0

Consecutive 1-0 matches aren't very good for Coach Dave Wilson's health, but for the Sarzonian national team, any win will be looked at fondly. The team got a goal from midfielder Bobby Convey from the penalty spot early in the match and relied on goalkeeper Troy Perkins to shut the door and the Stars defeated Antixilian Fatwah 1-0.

"We've only played one match that wasn't a nailbiter in this tournament," Wilson said. "I'm down to biting palms now. It's important to win these games early in the tournament to get momentum going so that we can be at top form later in the tournament when we start the fight for qualifying in earnest."

The Stars (3-0-1, nine points, third place in Group 8) started out hell-bent on putting Antixilian Fatwah away early, spending nine of the first 12 minutes of the match in their regional rival's end of the pitch. Forward Barry Alphonso ran onto a ball served by midfielder Darwin Russell in the 18 yard box and was fouled by a defender. One Red Dot referee Ray Ferry immediately pointed to the spot to signal the penalty in spite of Fatwahan protests. Convey stepped up and cooly buried the shot past the diving goalkeeper into the net for the 1-0 lead in the 13th minute.

From there, Antixilian Fatwah applied desperate pressure, including sending their goalkeeper forward in the 89th minute, but Perkins made six saves, many of them difficult, and played like a man who was fighting for his starting job.

"John's been playing great," Perkins said. "I knew I had to step it up a notch if I wanted to stay in there. Coach Wilson won't hesitate to make a move if he thinks it will help the team, so you've got to stay sharp if you want to stay in the starting 11."

The Stars travel to Nicksia to play second place Lykaia at the Round Table with added incentive.

"They dissed us," forward and team captain Brian Wilson said. "We've got to make them pay. After that, we've got [top seeded and sixth ranked] Audioslavia at Hendrix [Stadium in Woodstock] and an away match against The Lowland Clans. If those games don't get your pulse up, you're dead."

A win over Lykaia would put the team into second place and help them keep pace with the Slaves, but the Stars are focusing on one match at a time.

"This is the danger zone now," Dave Wilson said. "If you start looking past people, you're going to have your hat handed to you. Mark my words."
EL CID THE HERO
02-12-2004, 22:32
EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

7 OF THE 9

El Cid the Hero 2 (Kan 39 Brown 80)
Legalese 1 (Carlos Manachev 37)

With 7 points out of 3 matches El Cid are looking hopefull. if they can keep this form then they will get to the WC finals

It all began well for both sides, each getting about the same amount of shots and possestion. However, it was the lions who let in the first goal with an average goal from a Legalese player named Manachev that Niemi was unable to reach. It was however Legalese only had the lead for a few mins when new player for ECTH Sid Kan put the lions back on level pegging in the 39th.

From then on El Cid The Hero were on the attack for most of the game with Trotter, kan and Dent each getting 5 shots or more on goal. but with Tommy Walters not letting a shot get passed him it looked as if a 1-1 looked unavoidable. but in the 80th a free kick was given for a foul on Barry Trotter (Fred k Gruber was not playing) outside the box. With Brown about to strike
it seamed that The wall had their focus up the field somewere else. with this gap in the wall Brown got a shot through the wall and into the net. 2-1 to the lions.


"I've heard of this tactic before," the Manager of Legalese, Robbie Heard said after the match. "I believe they call it 'Dead Man on a Horse'. It's a shame that it's not considered unsporting behavior."

Sid kan and Doomhammer put a different spin on things. "the grass was a tad wet" said Kan "and i just slipped. i can't help it if people got distracted."

"I don't care how we won." said Doomhammer, "we eurned it and that is the whole story my friends."

With this game now over Chonchland is next. cant the lions keep up this good form?

READ AND YOU WILL FIND

MD1
EL CID THE HERO 2 - 0 Munchkinloopa

MD2
Sliponia 1 - 1 EL CID THE HERO

MD3
EL CID THE HERO 2 - 1 Legalese

MD4
Chonchland v EL CID THE HERO

MD5
Kaze Progressa v EL CID THE HERO

MD6
EL CID THE HERO v NEWI Cefn Druids

MD7
The Weegies v EL CID THE HERO
Shonar Bangla
02-12-2004, 22:33
Murshidabad-- Although this game was more competitive than the previous ones attempted by Shonar Bangla, what counts is that this is Shonar Bangla's third consecutive loss at the big stage, and they are still winless. The game saw a record low turnout from the crowd, disheartened by the crushing received from Snub Nose 38 and Lovisa. Compared to the 1.7 million that watched the game, only 20,000 turned out.

The score reached its final result by the end of the first half, producing a largely boring second half when both sides played defensive football. The team will now travel to Hammerund, who are producing some quality football despite their low rank on the international scale. For the first time, Shonar Bangla will play a team ranked lower than themselves, hopefully, a comprehensive victory will be scored.
Legalese
02-12-2004, 22:45
Don: Welcome back to the post-game edition of Soccer Night in Legalese. We have Robbie Heard here with us, to talk about today's 3-1 loss to NEWI Cefn Druids. Hello Robbie; tough result out there tonight, eh?

Mgr. Robbie Heard: Hello Don. Sadly, things did not work well for us. We thought that maybe the use of the former Rejistani uniforms might channel some good karma for my boys, but when you play like we did, even that wouldn't matter much.

Don: So you were disappointed with the style of play tonight. How do you plan on working on that?

Heard: First, by shaking up the lineup a little. We've taken some lumps, and it may be time to shift things around. When we go into training before the next match, we'll have to see what works. All I know is that 1 point in 4 matches simply won't work.

Don: You're right there, Robbie. Now, I'd like to ask you about the match with El Cid the Hero for a moment. I know you were clearly not happy with their second goal, as Sid Kan inexplicably fell to the ground, causing a distraction in the wall. Now Kan's saying that he slipped, due to the wet conditions of the turf. What is your reaction?

Heard: That's utter horse feathers, Don. A player of Sid Kan's caliber just doesn't slip like that. He'll get his in the return leg, that's for sure.

Don: Thank you, Legalese Manager Robbie Heard. We'll be back, with more on the high-scoring antics of matchday 1 in the AOCAF...
Lethislavania
02-12-2004, 22:57
Lethislavania Fighting Green

Excited, although tired from the weary travel to get to Maserrat, they jumped out onto the field.

"The Lethislavanian Fighting Green, with a record of 0-3, lead by manager Michael Aroyyo." The speakers blared, as Thomas backflipped across the field. 'This is our game... OUR game...' He thought, setting up to play.

O!, the beauty of her cross,
The valor of her arms,
Carry us indeed,
Through the troubling sea,
Cast aside my doubts,
Worry not about,
Mother Freedom,
We rely on thee!

The Lethislavanian anthem finished, followed by Maserrat's, which led to a thunderous applause. The horn blared, and the players were off quickly. Qostaze Ubuloy led the Maserrat charge, dribbling around Timothy Johnson, then feinting around Aleksandr Karnesky. He dished it off to Odisema Catreman, who had a quick dribble duel with Varnelo Parincia, but slid to the left and drilled it through Jorge's feet. The crowd erupted, as noise-makers exploded, signs were lifted, and screaming was prevalent. Aroyyo shook his head. 'Just...like...every...other...game...' The players quickly returned.

A stand-off took place at the next start, a dead-lock between Thomas Boeing and Odisema Catreman, but Catreman quickly feinted left, whilst kicking the ball over to the right, where Gyrokli Haman came out of his position to claim it. Running up the field, he zoomed around the slower Vorrece Peltier, and came past Karnesky, where he slid around and lifted the ball over to Ubuloy, who jumped, sending the oft-beaten ball into the wide-netted goal. Jorge slipped to the ground, his tan skin sweating, his brown eyes pleading. He took the ball and threw it out, and waited for the game to restart once more.

With only 3:12 left in the half, Thomas was dedicated to making something happen. As the whistle blew, he danced around Ferevarco Ferenitzin, then darted to the right, shifting his weight around until Ferenitzin came forward, then he deep-kicked it over to Cel Karra, who then dribbled up to the deep left, and side kicked it into the upper-left hand corner. However, it bounced uncerimoniously onto the ground, where Yuri Olkirov took it. Charging from his right, however, was Boeing, who slid under him and sent the ball into the Left-hand corner, raising the score. 2-1, Maserrat.


Maserrat got the ball off the restart, as Ubuloy tanked up the field, almost knocking Johnson to the ground. Strifing right, he turned and booted it. Jorge went up for the ball, but it just slipped through his hands, gliding onto the ground. He fell down, pounding his fist. 'What is going on? Why can't I keep my hands on anything?"

With 1:25 left, the game began once more. Ubuloy charged up the field again, then quickly pushed it over to Catreman. Dribbling around Karnesky, he came around Vorrelo and knocked it through his legs, sending the ball sliding towards the post. Jorge dove for it, but the ball glanced off at an odd angle, setting the ball right behind him. 'iMaldecion! iOi!' He banged his fist on the goal post, setting off a large shake. The crowd was euphoric, as a chant of 'Catreman' quickly filled the air of the stadium, a almost mesmerising drift of music and patriotism. The horn sounded, the red letters ominously glairng, 4-1. Maserrat.

Sitting in the visitor lockeroom, Aroyyo smiled. "You know why I'm happy? Because my grand-daughter called me this morning, wishing me luck. And she made me re-look this whole situation. Men, this game is important, but I was viewing it the wrong way. Listen, we can win this. Parinicia, you two need to double team 'em. Thomas, use the ball, we don't care who scores, as long as it happens. Guys, lets go." A prayer was said, per-tradition.

Grace, hold us.
God, bless us.
Our goal is simple,
Lead us forth.
Jesus, protect us.
Mary, guide us.
We fear not,
In your hands.
God, trust us.

The set out, ready to come back. They weren't dead yet.


Restarting a new, after the skimpy cheerleaders of Maserrat left the field, the forwards of Lethislavania shot forward in a V-formation, passing the ball back and forth, in an odd fashion the Maserratians had never seen. Thomas Boeing tripped it over to Cel Karra, who dished it back to Boeing, who came forward. He had two choices: Shoot for the goal, and face the intimidating Grady Waskowiec, or pass to Cel. Chosing the first option, he drilled a curve shot, which appeared to be heading towards the upper-right corner, but then drifted left-wards behind Grady. The small coningent of Lethislavanian's cringed at first, thinking Waskowiec had it, but then exploded, a mountain of tears, yells, and happy curses. Thomas did a double-backflip and shook hands with Cel, smiling. 4-2, they could come back. 'Maserrat,' Thomas thought. 'You're our's.'

Restarting, the forwards began another odd formation, pulling up Timothy Johnson and creating a square, knocking high-balls off of heads and sending ball sliding through defender's legs. Thomas dished it off to Kerry Twidler, who came up with a long shot. Grady jumped, but it drafted just left of his fingers, brushing down through the net. 3 minutes, two goals. 'Simply... amazing...' Thought Aroyyo, smiling from ear-to-ear.

Boeing quickly shot off, the other two forwards staying back. Borle Xantoi laughed, and quickly formed a wall with his mid and defense. But Thomas just lofted the ball over and slid through Poiana Zchefqi's legs, and jumped up, nailing the ball right at Grady's chest. The referee whistled. "Off-sides!" He screached. Thomas headed back, smiling. 'That should have shook them up... Indeed, it should have.'

Ubuloy shot forward, scowling, and dribbled the ball up the Lethislavanian defense, ignoring the men in his way. 'They make a fool of my team, I make a fool of them...' He spat, and thrust the ball deep to the right of Jorge, raising the score. 5-3, Maserrat.

Was the magic over? Indeed, as Thomas Boeing came up with the final point. It seemed as though they just could not hold on. Thomas spoke with some reporters after the game, but he could barely talk. "I... I... We... We had it... I got the feeling... But they bested us, they are a much better team. I-I better get going." He walked off, shoulders slumped, oblivious to his hat trick, his mind on the glaring red numbers. 0-4. No wins, no qualifying.

His soccer-high was begining to fade, and fastly at that.
Rejistania
02-12-2004, 23:28
Where did we win?

The score was known, but nothing more. The Orange-Blues won 2:0 against something called Villiapange, but no reporter was able to figure out what that is or where that is. Since the ASR (asene sekhika rejistaniha=rejistanian soccer association) is pretty much running the country, they had secret service infomations and knew where to go. The KaMaRi Update as well as every other newspaper was relying on informations from the team about the match. Coach SyLy said: "No idea where that was... it was already night when we arrived, then we spent some time in a bus, driving through plains. We arrived at an abandonned stadium and well, apparently we were expected to play there." Jentu Minikse continues the report: "Well, it was kinda scary... these creatures then appeared out of nowhere, they were apparently ghosts or something... everyone was... our opponents, every person in the stadium except us... it ment we played against ghosts..."

Xkeliko Iti~n summarized the match: "These ghosts were not really good in interacting with material things, meaning that the ball in 90% of the cases went through them.. it was funny to shoot through the ghosts, especially through their goalie, but after a while, it was kinda boring, you know? it took ages for them to get any action done, throw-ins took about five minutes... we just passed the ball around until the end of the match, I mean, we were ahead 2:0, we could do it... not that the ghost-fans seemed to care. The ghosts disappeared as suddently as they appeared after the match, no idea to where they disappeared."

The (unconfirmed) result:
former Villiapange 0
Rejistania 2 (Minikse 1st, Ky-Inidiviayu 14th)
Fmjphoenix
02-12-2004, 23:29
Vikings humbled badly by Melmond, fans in shock and disappointed

The Fmjphoenix VIkings came out into the match pumped up, ready to rebound from a tough loss against One Red Dot the day before, they were ready to prove that they are the team to suprise many with how good they really are. Well, the team suprised many, but with how bad they can be, as they were routed and shut out by Melmond, 6-0.

This is the worst game the Vikings have played in their short international history. The match started off fast, it appeared that it was going to be a match of two potential qualifying teams, but after the Vikings took their first shot at 5 minutes, they just went dead. Melmond came out on the attack scoring 3 goals within 10 minutes, and never slowed down. By the end of the first half, it was 5-0, and it looked like the Viking team had no life in them at all. During the second half, the Vikings tried to keep it competative, but they could not get the ball out of their territory, as Melmond had control of the ball for 80% of the match. By the end of the match, it seemed like the Vikings had lost all competitiveness.

"This was a disasterous match, the team was just not ready for Melmond. We will have to practice a lot and improve a lot more if we want to truely compete for the cup. We do have some excellent talent and good chemistry with each other, but we now need to comeback after a loss like this in order to show how good w really are." Coach Wash said after the loss.

Following their second consecutive loss, the Vikings now have a lot of ground they have to make up. They will next face Phazania in hopes of reviving their qualifying hopes. They will have to come out strong and focused in order to secure a win and move back up in the rankings.

Fmjphoenix Vikings Schedule and Record
Matchday 1: Fmjphoenix @ The Eagles Nest Draw 2-2
Matchday 2: Fmjphoenix vs Spaam Win 1-0
Matchday 3: Fmjphoenix @ One Red Dot Lose 1-2
Matchday 4: Fmjphoenix vs Melmond Lose 0-6
Matchday 5: Fmjphoenix vs Phazania
Matchday 6: Fmjphoenix @ Lennon Marx
Matchday 7: Fmjphoenix vs Kipto-Mare
------------------------------------------
Matchday 8: Fmjphoenix vs The Eagles Nest
Matchday 9: Fmjphoenix @ Spaam
Matchday 10: Fmjphoenix vs One Red Dot
Matchday 11: Fmjphoenix @ Melmond
Matchday 12: Fmjphoenix @ Phazania
Matchday 13: Fmjphoenix vs Lennon Marx
Matchday 14: Fmjphoenix @ Kipto-Mare
Record: [b]1-1-2
The Eagles Nest
03-12-2004, 01:13
Strike Birds Win Over Phazania 3-0


Due to outside real life obligations and a foul mood that I am in, this RP will be short.

Grotunia scored 2, Horace scored one, The Nest wone 3-0.

They travel to play Spaam which is in a return to an Old World Order movement tomorrow.

Scores at 11.
Audioslavia
03-12-2004, 02:13
Fan-Taavi Dozey
Taavi Brace Sinks Middle March

Audioslavia stole a march on the rest of group 8 (geddit?) after a trademark Ally Marriot thunderbolt and two second-half goals by Jorma Taavi.

Audioslavia started the brighter, creating a few chances for McLlroy and Dannes but neither striker could find the net. Dannes came closer on thirty minutes with a far-post drive which skimmed the top of the bar, but it was Marriot who opened the scoring with a twenty-yard screamer, getting underneath a poor clearance and volleying the ball into the roof of the net.

1-0 the match stayed at half-time, and for the second half Audioslavia changed their strike-force. 21-year-old Jorma Taavi got his debut and would partner Phoenix F.C. striker Daley Black. Black had the first opportunity but failed to finish a through-ball, but it was Taavi who netted first, controlling a cross beautifully, lifting the ball over a defender and finishing into the near corner. Taavi netted his second on the hour mark after a good passing move by the 'slaves tore a hole in the Middle March defence which Taavi took advantage of, nicking in through the gap and finishing into the corner.

3-0 up Audioslavia should have kept cruising, but Middle March got back into the game and after just six minutes of pressure managed to get a goal, Audioslavia's 3-man defence not holding up under the onslaught. Caretaker manager Dave Mill needs to sort that out before Audioslavia play the groups' bigger sides.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 3 (Marriot 36 - Taavi 55, 61)
Middle March 1 (player 75)

Bunch of Fives
'Slaves Hit Five Past Zvarinograd

A first-half onslaught so Audioslavia smash four goals past struggling Zvarinograd without reply. Audioslavia, at full strength for the game, opened the scoring on three and a half minutes as Johnstone headed a corner past the goalkeeper. Karl Tanner made it two on nine minutes, converting a loose ball after the Zvarinograd defence failed to deal with a corner. After quarter of an hour the game was effectively all over as Dannes finished for three.

To the 'grad's credit they didn't give up and played some good football as they tried to recover, the number nine even had a good chance but his shot was smothered by Andersson. However, just as Zvarinograd looked dangerous the 'slaves broke. Jansen's electric pace took him past the full back. Jansen cut in to the box, layed the ball off for McLlroy and the young Phoenix F.C. striker made it four-nil.

The second half saw the game even up slightly with neither side getting too much of an advantage, but with twenty minutes to go substitute Jorma Taavi scored his third goal in two games from a corner and Audioslavia took the match by five goals to nil.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 5 (Johnstone 4, Tanner 9, Dannes 15, McLlroy 37, Taavi 73)
Zvarinograd 0

Group 8
Audioslavia 4 4 0 0 12-0 12
Lykaia 4 3 1 0 10-5 10
Sarzonia 4 3 0 1 8-3 9
The Lowland Clans 4 2 0 2 4-3 6
Zvarinograd 4 2 0 2 5-9 6
Middle March 4 1 0 3 4-11 3
Slaikau 4 0 1 3 3-6 1
Antixilian Fatwah 4 0 0 4 0-8 0

Four games in the group is already spreading itself out the way people expected. But for Slaiku's poor start and TLC's two losses it looks pretty much as expected. Audioslavia have beaten the low seeds but will now have to take it to Lykaia, TLC and Sarzonia to consolidate their place as top-dog in group eight.
Giant Zucchini
03-12-2004, 09:12
Zucchini Resurrection:
Episode 4: Practice, practice, practice

There has been outrage in Giant Zucchini after the Zucchinis failed to score for their third consecutive match. In today’s episode we take a look at the National team’s coach and his methods.

Mr Tolar: “We use methods endorsed by some of the top players and coaches both in and around NationStates and even in the real world. In fact, one of the team’s favourite training exercises ( http://www.tiscali.be/cmsimages/video/Thierry%20Henry%20Practice.asf) has been utilised by great Thierry Henry himself.”


------------------------TO BE CONTINUED------------------------

The Green Ripper strikes back at:
Escape to Slavery
Alien Resurrection
Manchester United vs Arsenal
The Matrix
Digital Fortress
Great Expectations
Ocean’s Eleven
Kevin Keegan
Thierry Henry
Tadjikistan
03-12-2004, 10:42
We aint there yet

Giant Zucchini - The fourth match of the Tigers was to be very important for Coach Georgi Zhukov. With only 3 out of 6, something had to change or Zhukov can pack his suitcases. The crowd sees Zhukov as the bad element, the once important Tadjik International is now an enemy of the fans.

But the Tigers impressed their fans this time and came home with a 4-0 win. The First two goals were made by Gasparian who played and excellent game, he even sent an assist to Koshevoi who scored the Third Tadjik goal. The last goal was the work of Shvydkoi, the assist came from Zaev.

And with that win the Tigers try to stay in competition, but there's still a long road ahead of them. They must win their next encounter with Oaker and save whatever they can in the two last matches of the first qualification round.

Group 10
Piquantrax 1 - 2 Vilita
Finrods 1 - 3 Dance 2 Revolution
Giant Zucchini 0 - 4 Tadjikistan
Nastic 1 - 1 Oaker


MD1: Tadjikistan - Nastic W 2-0
MD2: Piquantrax - Tadjikistan L 3-2
MD3: Tadjikistan - Finrods L 1-4
MD4: Giant Zucchini - Tadjikistan W 0-4
MD5: Tadjikistan - Oaker
MD6: Tadjikistan - Vilita
MD7: Dance 2 Revolution - Tadjikistan
MD8: Nastic - Tadjikistan
MD9: Tadjikistan - Piquantrax
MD10: Finrods - Tadjikistan
MD11: Tadjikistan - Giant Zucchini
MD12: Oaker - Tadjikistan
MD13: Vilita - Tadjikistan
MD14: Tadjikistan - Dance 2 Revolution
Cockbill Street
03-12-2004, 12:32
Ankh-Morpork C-mail

Streetians Coming Home
Changes By Branson Results in Result

HAPERD VULCANS Substitutions:
Ellis K Haperd for England 71'
(4) Clark for Laolani 78'
Dobson K Russ Harris Laolani Rule for Flyman 82'
(6) (5) (5) (4) Bookings: M Yamamura, England, K Russ, Dobson
Flyman C Haperd England M Yamamura Red Card: Haperd Jr 14'
(5) (4) (4) (5)
Lide Haperd Jr
(4) (3)
-----------------------------------------------------------
Stubbings Peters Substitutions:
(7) (7) Keegan (7) for McLavish 52'
Nickel-carbide Bitton Heimfoething McLavish Jones for Galena 69'
(6) (5) (6) (6) Joyce for Peters 76'
Walker Galena Dwarfclobberer Golddevourer Bookings: Heimfoething, Golddevourer
(5) (6) (7) (5) Red card: Golddevourer 53'
Underwood
(7)
COCKBILL STREET

VIMESBAIRN NATIONAL────Against second-place Haperd and coming off a 0-1 result in The Immaculate Youth, the 60,000-strong crowd which half-filled the National were initially apathic to this game. They knew the score - the Streetians, despite over 35 years in international football, had still not managed to get a team qualifying for the World Cup on a regular basis. Meanwhile, the Haperd Vulcans (or Hapless, as a witty head in the Department of Punning, Scrabble and Inane Word-Play dubbed it) were unbeaten, having beaten a nation that does tend to qualify a lot, Svecia. That the smart money was on Haperd to win - at a fine 3.20 (11-5) in odds - was beyond doubt.

But a few key changes by g'irgah Lee Branson turned the tide yet again in this qualifying campaign. Jonathan Havell, Harald Stronginthearm, Sarah Cawdron and Liam Wharton were all dropped - but as Branson said "they were getting old anyway, except Sarah, and she's a gel." Changing to a more conservative 4-4-2 as well, pulling Olaf Heimfoething out of his normal attacking midfielder role to a more central position, the Streetians were asked, purely and simply, to "go out and play football."

And so they did - although the game resembled more of a full-scale reconstruction of a battle. Every single tackle that was remotely possible was attempted, and Rejistanian referee Siki Rej had his hand full of cards at the end. Six bookings and two red cards were dished out in the match, most to the Vulcans, who were initially hampered by the loss of striker Kris Haperd Jr in the fourteenth minute. That deprived Haperd of their attacking strength, and the Streetians could control the match with eleven against ten. They made reasonably good use of the opportunity, as Bitton won most of the headers against England in midfield, Heimfoething showed his superior dribbling skills, and Stubbings and senior debutant Rhianna Peters were more than keen to make runs behind the Vulcan back line.

In the thirty-first minute, this simple but effective tactic paid off. A long pass from left back Scott Walker landed on the head of Robert Stubbings, who managed to get it past most of the defendes. Peters had already strated a clever run behind Nohea Laolani, the Vulcan left back, and now intercepted the ball calmly before half-volleying it past Brett Ellis for a 1-0 lead.

The brawl characteristics of the match were not easily stopped with that, however. Despite Rej's fine effort as a referee, Vulcan left winger Musumi Yamamura kept throwing both verbal and physical abuse at the Streetian defenders, who repeatedly robbed him of the ball. Late in the half, both Yamamura and Ivar Golddevourer were booked for misconduct, but that didn't seem to help as Yamamura was booed off at the interval.

Most Streetians in the crowd were reasonably pleased at half-time, but wanted their team to push forward more. After all, a 1-0 lead over an 80th-ranked team with a man sent off was nothing to be ecstatic about, even though the play might have been. The face of the game changed in the second half, though, as Golddevourer received his second booking for a mindless tackle on Lide. With ten on ten, the Vulcans grabbed their chance with both hands, and also possession which they managed to have in more than ten-second spurts. However, fairly or not, it was the Streetians who made 2-0. Adam Harris failed to clear a rather harmless shot, substitute Benjamin Keegan unleashed a blinder of a shot that curved back, out of the reach of Ellis, and gave the Streetians in the crowd a final reason to breathe out.

With that goal, it seemed like the Vulcans lost their drive. The match descended into a glorified bore that hardly deserved the brand of "international" match - let alone Compound - and the Streetians third goal came as a gift after a dubiously-awarded corner kick. With substitutions flourishing, the Vulcans eventually got their consolation goal through Flyman, but that was little help.

3-1, the final result, which was probably quite fair given the nature of the game, but the Vulcans are definitely not out of this qualifying series. Cockbill Street have placed themselved precariously in second place of the table, well behind Commerce Heights who has swept all opposition to pieces by at least two goals, but the Streetians are one conceded goal ahead of Svecia, who seems to be the major opponent in qualifying. The Immaculate Youth proved that their win over Cockbill Street was a fluke, going down 2-4 to Commerce Heights, while Nonesuch Street went down 0-1 to Oddslavo and are rock bottom along with Huahin, who lost 1-4 to Svecia.

VIMESBAIRN NATIONAL STADIUM
COCKBILL STREET 3 (Peters 31, Keegan 56, 72)
HAPERD 1 (Flyman 87)
Referee: Siki Rej (Rejistania) 6
Cockbill Street
03-12-2004, 12:44
Ankh-Morpork C-mail

Clanners Take Hosts Ransom

More nations and supporters are frustrated with their results than Cockbill Street, it appears. After the C-mail printed a list of the ten greatest upsets after our 0-1 loss to The Immaculate Youth, where The Lowland Clans had placed third with a 0-2 loss at Middle March (whozat?), their fans took matters into their own hands.

Some Clanner terrorists have apparently kidnapped the entire Turori national team - yes, including THAT goalkeeper, Milauo Slietah - and demanded that the results featured in the C-mail be reverted, and the points returned to their rightful owners, as they put it. The Vilitan government - who seem to be controlling this cup in all but name - replied by saying that they "are not worried" and Turori can call up their "youth academy".

Meanwhile, 20 international footballers are still living in jeopardy, and information from Turori seems to indicate that the population there do not think the demands of the terrorists unreasonable. Garathi Miroan (42), told the C-mail that he "only wished for football to go on peacefully."

The Turori government, in close corroboration with Alan Belmore and his army of you-know-whats in The Belmore Family, seems determined to claim that nothing is wrong with the Cup, and everything is going fine. With the withdrawal of Snub Nose 38 due to "personal problems" within the team, Turori's chances being all but ruined by these awful terrorist actions, the group draw being one of the more farcical events that happened in recent World Cup history, and referee standards reaching a new low, perhaps it is time for Vilita (oh, sorry, Turori) to stop and listen to the many critics who do not retort to such terrible measures.
Sliponia
03-12-2004, 14:36
Sliponia Fails To Keep Baptism of Fire Momentum Alive
Sliponia looks dismal.

THE BELMORE FAMILY--The Sliponian national team is off to a slow start with a record of 0-1-3. The team is just playing terrible. Their play here looks like how they played Adam Island (the first match) with that 5-1 loss. Hopefully the Slips can rebound here as they did against Adam Island (second match) when they qualified for the Cup title. Coach Jake Hammstead had the following to say:

"The team is just not ready. We did well in the tournament but I think the team maybe had unrealistic expectations. We did well in the tournament, but that was against other rookie teams. It's crazy. We'll just try to do better."
Snub Nose 38
03-12-2004, 14:38
Due to a variety of internal issues, Spaam withdraw from the World Cup until further notice.
Earlier today Scuttlebut learned that The Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages sent the above message to the Organizing Committee of World Cup XIX on behalf of the Spaamanian National Side.
Vilita
03-12-2004, 14:43
Former Favorites Drop Out

----------------------The Vilitan media was left speechless this afternoon after learning that one of their usualy picks for World Cup glory had dropped out of the running.

----------------------"Well it's quite a shame actually, now we are going to find someone else to choose other than Audioslavia to win the whole thing. Obviously with Spaam gone, we're going to just have to settle on Audioslavia winning World Cup 19. But who will we pick for World Cup 20? Surely we cannot just settle on Audioslavia, there must be some deliberation."

----------------------The Vilita National has a history of picking Audioslavia to win the World Cup, and has done so every year with the exception of one, when the polling took place on a day when the Jungle Cats had travelled overseas, and the only reporters remaining to fill out the survey were the overweight desk assistants. It is believed that they immediately developed an attachment to Spaam and selected them all the way through, solidfying them as the second most popular choice in Vilita to win the World Cup.
Jeruselem
03-12-2004, 15:29
Jeruselem Government News

Faves roll on in Group 8

Match day 4 for the World Cup XIX/19/!9 produced no upsets in Group 8 although Maserrat was pushed by Lethislavania who narrowly lost 4-5.

Jeruselem beat 7JM to continue it's good form with a 3-0-1 record. The 3-2 win was not the same calibre as the 6-0 and 5-1 wins but team were playing a better calibre of opponent in 7JM who are potential candidates for the 3rd qualifying position in Group 3. Jeruselem did not play at their best and a few defensive bungles allowed 7JM it's two goals. Once again the attack produced results with Silverstein leading his team scoring the first goal.

The Jeruselem defense has proven to be much improved after ditching the 4-4-3 formation in earlier world cups and the 4-4-2 change has not damaged it's offensive capacity. Scoring 15 goals in 4 games while conceding 5 is not bad record but Iansisle and Crystilakere are better defensively.

Iansisle beat off a Runaway Moose to win 1-0 in another close win. Crystilakere decked Oceaice 4-0 to continue a horror run after Oceaice lost 5-1 to Jeruselem before. Maserrat scored 5 but Lethislavania pushed them all the way scoring 4 goals to show they will not be lying low.

Group 3
Runaway Moose 0 - 1 Iansisle
Oceaice 0 - 4 Crystilakere
7JM 2 - 3 Jeruselem
Lethislavania 4 - 5 - Former Maserrat -
One Red Dot
03-12-2004, 17:42
New results have arrived STOP
We started not too bad STOP
We drew Lennon Marx 1-1 STOP
The next day we drew Phazania 1-1 STOP
Tying became tiresome STOP
So we defeated Fmjphoenix 2-1 STOP
Till now, we can't pronounce Fmj STOP
We defeated Kipto-Mare the next day STOP
The score was two nil STOP
That will keep you updated STOP
I wonder why each sentence in a telegram ends with stop STOP
We are going to play against The Eagle's Nest STOP
We are quaking in our pants STOP
Eauz
03-12-2004, 18:36
Le LIBRE

Where is the offence?

Travelling to The Evil Umpire, Les Bleus had memories of the past, when they were threatened to be killed if they lost in TEU. As for this time around, there is no threat and not even a word from TEU. Their government seems to be alive, but have not shown much desire for this WC. It could be the fact that the government is currently deciding if they want to continue to fund the team. Nonetheless, Les Bleus arrived at the stadium, which didn’t seem to have any repairs done to it. Les Bleus were neither given a list of players who would be participating in the cup.

Entering the stadium, Les Bleus saw that the stadium wasn’t every filled up either, showing the disinterest in football in this nation. Vasser commented saying, “maybe they are also protesting like our fans are?” Nonetheless, after all the anthems and such occurred, the match started. A couple Eauz fans, who were either stockers or able to get through customs attended the match to provide Eauz a bit of support. Les Bleus were once again on the defence, as TEU was putting on an early offensive. Unsure of the players names, one player sent a long pass towards a forward in front of the net, but Boulongeur headed it to the left corner of the field. A TEU player picked the ball up and brought it towards the net, but was knocked away, from a clean attack by Devereux. Les Bleus aside from their strengthened defence did not show much effort in this match. It was as if Les Bleus were resting themselves for future matches. At the 43rd minute of play, as Les Bleus were on one of their few attacks in the match, Godenot sent a long pass up field where Theodoric was situated. Theodoric took a shot, which knocked off the post and out of play. Les Bleus on a rush recovered the ball, which saw Theodoric passing it towards the net. Alia got the ball and kicked it towards the net, but it was blocked by an amazing save by the TEU keeper. The keeper though couldn’t hold onto the ball, and Alia ate up the rebound and put it in giving Les Bleus a 1 – 0 lead at the 44th minute of play. Eauz fans celebrated in the stadium, despite being pretty much the only interested fans in the stadium. Many fans could be seen making out, reading the paper and watching other things on mini TV’s.

The second half came around and was not much more interesting than the first. A few notable players were taken out of play, with Alia, Devereux and Vasser to rest them, and give the reserves a bit of time to play. TEU, despite the changes in Eauz’s roster, still couldn’t get much of a serious attack. The strategy for Les Bleus in the 2nd half seemed to be that of the first, just defend and keep TEU out of their zone. In the 2nd half, Rousoi faced only 2 shots on goal, and was not tested. The two teams seemed to be in a stalemate, and Les Bleus either didn’t care about scoring more, or were waiting for future matches against tougher teams. Nonetheless, Les Bleus would finish off this boring match 1 – 0 leaving as soon as possible from TEU because of a possible death threat from TEU.

The coach was reached for questions after the match about the lack of scoring and had this to say: “Well, I’ve been wanting them to concentrate on defence, which has seemed to work well. Also, we are in the easiest part of our schedule, so why burn these guys out so fast, when we need them to score during match days 5, 6 & 7? I wish we could have got 2 goals, but I’ll take the 1 as long as we are playing well.”

Match Day 5 will see Les Bleus back in Eauz to host Kylaai. Kylaai started the first 2 matches poorly, getting a tie and a loss, but they are coming off the last 2 matches with a 4 – 2 and a 4 – 0 victory over Adam Island and Hiiraan respectively. With a hot team visiting Eauz, Les Bleus will have to hope that their offence shows up along with their defence. This match will be interesting because, Les Bleus have not given up a goal in 270 minutes, and Kylaai has scored 8 goals in 180 minutes of play. Unfortunately, it appears that fans are still not interested in showing up for this match, as an estimated 350 will be at the stadium. A side note, Les Bleus are currently off to one of their best starts at 4 – 0 – 0, and a goal difference of 8. Les Bleus will hope to keep the winning streak going, but will have a tough time with that in the next 3 match days, against top teams.

Schedule

Match Day 1: Adam Island @ Eauz W 1 - 3
Match Day 2: Eauz @ Hiiraan W 4 - 0
Match Day 3: Villapange @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Match Day 4: Eauz @ The Evil Umpire W 1 - 0
Match Day 5: Kylaai @ Eauz
Match Day 6: Eauz @ Esth
Match Day 7: Eauz @ Rejistania

Match Day 8: Eauz @ Adam Island
Match Day 9: Hiiraan @ Eauz
Match Day 10: Eauz @ Villapange
Match Day 11: The Evil Umpire @ Eauz
Match Day 12: Eauz @ Kylaai
Match Day 13: Esth @ Eauz
Match Day 14: Rejistania @ Eauz



Group 7 GP W D L GF : GA GD P
Eauz 4 4 0 0 9 : 1 8 12
Rejistania 4 3 0 1 10 : 5 5 9
Kylaai 4 2 1 1 10 : 5 5 7
Esth 4 2 0 2 7 : 6 1 6
Adam Island 4 2 0 2 6 : 8 -2 6
Villiapange 4 1 1 2 5 : 7 -2 4
The Evil Umpire 4 1 0 3 4 : 6 -2 3
Hiiraan 4 0 0 4 2 :15 -13 0
NEWI Cefn Druids
03-12-2004, 19:21
Druids manager Trevor Belmore is talking with the Druids' kit man before their game in Legalese.

TB: "Mr Kit Man, we've got a slight problem here."

KM: "What is it, boss?"

TB: "Well you know we packed the orange and blue third kits because Legalese wear black and red?"

KM: "Yes?"

TB: "Well, we're all dressed and ready to play when we fing Legalese are turning out in old Rejistanian kits for luck."

KM: "And..."

TB: "Well, everyone knows that they play in orange and blue!"

KM: "So?"

TB: "So we can't both play in orange and blue!"

KM: "Oh."

TB: "So I guess we can play in our usual black and white after all."

KM: "Um... there's a slight problem there..."

TB: "Go on..."

KM: "I... er... didn't pack any other kits."

TB: "YOU WHAT!?!?!"

KM: "Well, I didn't think we'd need them."

TB: "So what exactly are we supposed to do? Go out there in our underwear?"

KM: "There's a problem there, too."

TB: "Go on..."

KM: "Well, I washed all the players' special matchday underwear with the kits, and the dye ran, so they're all orangey-blue too..."

TB: "You didn't!?!?!"

KM: "No, of course I didn't! They're new kits! We've only ever used the third kit once before, when we went to Wella."

TB: "Phew. For a minute there, I thought we were going to be playing naked, but, don't worry, we'll just have to play in pants and vests instead."

...and so they did. Must've worked, as the Druids ran out 3-1 winners. No wonder the Rejistanian luck didn't rub off on them, the poor things were probably too shocked to play!
NEWI Cefn Druids
03-12-2004, 19:29
The Tribune Tribune
Serving Druid Tribune and the surrounding area

SO FAR SO GOOD
Trefor Blackmore on Lexmarak 0 Druida 3

Druida kept up their winning ways with an emphatic away win against Lexmarak. To be honest, a lot of Druidan fans thought that we were going to a printer, until someone at the Druid Tribune Historical Aerodrome assured everyone in the place that it was in fact a nation.

In the match itself, Druida were much better than their opponents, the result was deserved, but, unfortunately for them, it wasn't enough to keep them on top of the group. That honour goes to Druida's World Cup 20 bidding co-hosts Starblaydia, who went one better than the rainbows by beating Vorpal Bunnies 4-0. Krytenia also slipped up again with another draw, leaving Druida four points clear of fourth place.

Next up is a real six-pointer in Krytenia. A rainbows win would put them seven points ahead of the fourth placed celestials, in a very strong position, whereas a Druida defeat would throw everything open again.
Big Pimento
03-12-2004, 20:26
Done with the best, on with the rest!

After a barnstorming tour of the four highest ranked teams, Big Pimento is ready to take on the "lesser" opponents of Group 9. However, if history has taught us anything about the Futility Kings, it's that no match is a given since they're a team who notoriously plays up, or even more tragically down, to the level of their opponents.

Shonar Bangla are the next to try to foil the Futility Kings' quest for the cup. The Banglans made some serious noise in the Baptism of Fire tournament, but have come out of the gates flat-footed with an 0-1-3 record. They are building momentum though, coming off a close one goal defeat to the powerful Bedistani Lions. The Futility Kings should win this match, but then again, the Futility Kings drop a lot of matches they should win.

Next up will be Hammerund, an upstart nation coming from relative obscurity who've been able to post three victories during their first four matches. The jury's still out whether Hammerund are pretenders or contenders, but right now they're ahead of the Futility Kings in the standings. Big Pimento will have to try to leap frog them eventually for the third and final qualification spot, and their best chance of that will come against Hammerund, though the Kings will have their work cut out from them.

Ending the first half of qualification will be the sorry side from Eystrck, which currently stands at 0-0-4. Eystrck's most recent defeat came at the hands of the cardboard cut-out replacements representing Snub Nose 38, who inexplicably toppled Eystrck 2-1. There's futility and then there's abysmali, Big Pimento is one notch above that and should take the Eystrck match easily.

The next three matches will be critical for Big Pimento's dreams to advance to the actual World Cup. Slip-ups will be costly, but a solid performance could go a long way in booking their flights to TBF/Turori. The Futility Kings will need to muster up at least seven points out of nine to consider this three-game stand a success.
Vilita
03-12-2004, 20:27
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif

Vilita: Unbeaten in 20

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
Vilita Goalscorers::
42' Antonis Siazzu
67' Serge DuPont



http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

------------------- Young Melmond based Attacking Midfielder Antonis Siazzu, On loan to club side Titania Forests from Vilitan champions Yeaddin Owls AFC, made a storming thrust onto the world stage by single handedly out working the opposition defense, and sending a screaming 42nd minute first-career goal to light up the highlight reels. Siazzu was awarded man of the match for his performance. Despite his game winning goal, Serge DuPont was poor all game and was responsible for the backpass that led to Vilita's first conceded goal of the season. The Jungle Cats are now unbeaten in 20 consecutive world cup matches.


Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Antonis Siazzu
Worst Player: Serge DuPont
Shots on Target: 6
Corner Kicks: 9

Opponents

Best Player:
Worst Player:
Shots on Target: 2
Corner Kicks: 1


http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif
Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Petros Alfieri, [D] Esemar Aliana, [D] Emarka Laniora, [DMC] Mauro Capuano, [ML] Inaki Soler, [MC] Jacques Vintila, [MC] Antonis Siazzu, [MR] Jonathon Baledrokadroka, [FC] Serge DuPont, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni,
BENCH::
[FC] Callum Banda, [FC] Germán Salomón, [M] Musa Nikiema, [M] Marasent Sioane, [U] Giacomo Adika, [D] Christos Tchami, [GK] Bryan 'Pop' Duiker,

Vilita Substitutions::
(25) - Emarka Laniora >>> Musa Nikiema
(69) - Inaki Soler >>> Germán Salomón
Raptor Claw
03-12-2004, 21:15
Raptor's Must Improve

The Raptor Claw Goalkeeper, Gonnast Opyou, from Tonka City in Giant Zucchini, has been National team keeper for many seasons now, improving at every attempt. The Raptor Claw Defense is led by Imapla Yindabak, also from the South Island Clan The towering central defender is a menace to all that approach. Partnering this Raptor in Central defense is Iwilltac Kleyou, from the rejuvinated Central Island Clan. This Raptor is the first to make the National team from the Central Island Clan since the horrific dismembering of the clan prior to World Cup 14. Playing as Wing backs will be Makapla Yupdaline and Overla Pinrun, both from the East Island Clan and regulars in the Raptors Lineup. The Raptor Claw midfield is led by Captain Imdalea Der, the experienced Raptor from the North Island Clan is an important fixture in the Raptors lineup every time they step out onto the pitch. Partnering Der in the Center of Midfield is Contro Lindaplae, also of the North Island Clan. On the left wing is the pacey Runni Nondaside from the West Island Clan and on the right wing, one of the most prolific Raptor goalscorers, Maki Narun from the South Island Clan. The Raptor Claw strike force is the frequently troublesome duo of Imat Arget and Runni Naroun. both from the East Island Clan.


Gonnast Opyou still plays for Giant Zucchini? Did not see in the list of teams Tonka City
Iansisle
03-12-2004, 21:30
Winnin’ Dirty
New ‘scrappy’ Ians escape Runaway Moose with a win

RUNAWAY MOOSE -- Well, kids, there are not the Iansisle Ians of yore. Lyon, Ravenhill, and Fletcher may be gone, but they’re still finding ways to win.

Today, it was young gun midfielder Bill Simpson with the game-winning goal, scored on a penalty kick in the 73rd minute. Tomorrow, who knows? One thing is for certain: these Ians may not be ‘bombs away’, but they do have heart, persistence, and the best defense any Iansisle side has ever seen.

Long time institution David Westmore calls the XIX Ians “the most exciting team I’ve ever seen, much less coached. Not the best - that was last year’s team - but the most exciting.

“And I think that the fans appreciate that,” continued Westmore, “Now that we’ve sold out every seat for the remainder of the qualifiers, the government has finally agreed to replace the Footballing Grounds. I am pleased to announce that the World Cup XX Ians will be playing in a brand new 55,000 seat stadium in Pentonbridge!”

The Ians have played every qualifier match since World Cup X in the Westergate Footballing Grounds, which are actually significantly older than the team. Although the Grounds have the sense of history and legend, they also have cramped concourses, inadequate seating, and crumbling masonry. Westergate officials have also been complaining about the large, rowdy crowds that qualifying matches draw to their small, otherwise sleepy burgh.

“I think it’s a symbol,” said 23-year old sensation Martin Brandt, who has added public figurehead to his rôle as the defense’s cornerstone. “We’re going to win this World Cup. But we’re not just going to win it for ourselves, and not even for Iansisle.

“We’re going to win it for all the men who have ever donned an Ians’ uniform,” Brandt said earnestly, “from my uncle Conrad to Alex Truman to coach Westmore. This is our last year on their pitch, and we’re going to make it a damn good one.”
EL CID THE HERO
03-12-2004, 22:12
EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

the winner takes it all

El Cid the Hero 2 (kan 4 Dent 78)
Chonchland 0

with everything going well for the lions they were able to gain another 3 points from their 4th game.

the acount of the lions was opened in the 4th min when a shot from Dash got a deflecthion off kan's foot and into the back of the net. keeper went the wrong way and just couldn't get to it.

the rest of the match was a stailmate with El Cid getting more of the ball. To Chonchland cradit they played a good game getting some great shots on goal but Niemi just refused to let any goal in.

with Chonchland only one goal behind and looking like they could score at any moment a seconed goal was needed. and in the 78th min it came. a far off shot from the capatain 35 yards outside the box wized passed the keeper and into the net.

after the match the lions were in a happy mood and in a interview with both Dash and Kan This was displayed.


interviewer: Dash, would you say that this WC is going well.

Dash: i would, we have got 10 out of 12 points and are underfeted. if we keep this up we will get to the finals.

IN: wat do you say to the people who say that the only reasion your doing well is that your facing the weaker teams first.

Dash: load of rubbes. We are a strong team and we will get to the finals.

IN: Ok, now to Kan, you got your goal off your foot. does that make the goal worth less.

kan:well no, a goal is a goal and i am happy with it werever it came from.

IN: now onto the last match, it is said by head, and i quote That's (the thinking that Kan Sliped) utter horse feathers, A player of Sid Kan's caliber just doesn't slip like that. He'll get his in the return leg, that's for sure.what do you think of this.

kan: well i hop he is hungry because i want to see him eat these words, but i hope they save eneuth room for my fist.

In: well good luck with that.

with Kaze Progressa next the lions can only hope they can pull this off. keep reading to find out if they can?

READ AND YOU WILL FIND

MD1
EL CID THE HERO 2 - 0 Munchkinloopa

MD2
Sliponia 1 - 1 EL CID THE HERO

MD3
EL CID THE HERO 2 - 1 Legalese

MD4
Chonchland 0-2 EL CID THE HERO

MD5
Kaze Progressa v EL CID THE HERO

MD6
EL CID THE HERO v NEWI Cefn Druids

MD7
The Weegies v EL CID THE HERO
Vilita
03-12-2004, 22:15
-------------------------------------
Matchday 5 Scores are Now Posted
-------------------------------------
Sarzonia
03-12-2004, 22:49
Stars heard loud and clear in 3-1 win

Before the World Cup began, Lykaia's management made public their intent to beat the Sarzonian national team in Group 8 of World Cup qualifying. The team made several statements that ended up on the Stars' wall. When the teams met for the first time, the Stars made a statement of their own, defeating Lykaia 3-1 and seizing sole possession of second place in Group 8.

"We wanted to show Lykaia that we were a team to take seriously," Coach Dave Wilson said. "We went out on the attack from the get-go and we proved ourselves."

The Stars (4-0-1, 12 points) jumped out on top in the 12th minute thanks to a fine wall pass between midfielder Darwin Russell and forward Barry Alphonso, who recently agreed to terms with a team in Cockbill Street to transfer from the Randolph Reavers. Alphonso's goal gave the Stars a lead they wouldn't relinquish, and it set Lykaia on its heels.

"Darwin put a great ball on my boot and just made it a clinical finish for me," Alphonso said. "He can play great in midfield when he's got his mind to it."

Russell made the score 2-0 just five minutes later when he sent a bending free kick over the Lykaian wall and past a stunned goalkeeper for a 2-0 lead the Stars took into the first half intermission.

From there, the Stars were content to settle for counter attacks and deliberate possession, but they made the scoreline 3-0 just three minutes after the second half kickoff. Midfielder Bobby Convey sent a corner kick into the box and reserve forward Kenny Cooper, on for a tiring Alphonso, skied for a header that caromed off the upright and off the back of the goalkeeper's head and into the net.

"Lucky or not, I'll take 'em," Cooper said. Lykaia added some dignity to the scoreline when Victor Miradah scored in the 89th minute to prevent goalkeeper Troy Perkins from notching the team's third consecutive clean sheet. After he scored, he began a wild, showboating celebration that came to an abrupt end when forward and Stars captain Brian Wilson calmly pointed at the scoreboard.

"You can get a goal if you want, but I'll take the win," Brian Wilson said. "We're glad we're getting some momentum for that big match against Audioslavia."

The Stars are travelling to play at Hendrix Stadium in Woodstock in spite of uncertainties surrounding President Mike Sarzo's kidnapping (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=377477) and the coup that installed former Vice President for Defense Terrence Wilson. Senior Vice President for Internal Affairs Nicole Lewis has secured asylum in Daurmont, Isselmere-Nieland and will serve as acting President from there.

"We can't let the political situation affect us," Dave Wilson said in somber, hushed tones. "We have to play football, but I think that will give us some added incentive."
Lethislavania
03-12-2004, 23:03
Lethislavania Fighting Green


The wind howled and trees swayed as the players took the field. Lethislavania, clad in black and dark green uniforms, was pumped. Finally, a equal game. Aroyyo smiled and waved, even though the crowd was hysteric, booing him and tossing beer bottles. 'Who in the *$@# names their country Runaway Moose in the first place?' Deep and thoughtful, the Runaway Moose national anthem was played, and the game began.

Thomas Boeing took the ball and began to dribble, running expertfully around the Center Forward. Quickly he dashed to the right and came face to face with the Right Midfielder. He took the ball and looked over, his eye concentrating on Karra's foot, then hit, like the hammer of a musket. The ball went sideways, landing infront of Cel, who pulled back his leg. He launched it over to Kerry Twidler. Twidler shot forward, caught between two defenders, then launched it over the right back to Boeing. Thomas pushed forward, spinning around the Right Defender, then let loose a huge assault on the ball, sending the sphere spinning into the upper-right hand corner of the goal. Pumping his fist victoriously, Thomas ran over to hug Cel and Kerry. Aroyyo smiled proudly. 'This is the team I built, this is the team I started.'

Restarting, the Runaway Moose team tried to head forward, their talented Left Forward carrying the ball up the field. However, heralded defender Vorrelo Parincia lived up to his nickname, the "Shark", as he slid under the forward, sending the ball to Cel Karra. Cel shot straight down the field, a large vigor filling him, and he let loose, sending the ball flying over the young Runaway Moose player. Howls were heard from the skeleton Lethislavania team, as well as the 10 or so uber-dedicated fans who had made this long travel. Cel jumped in the air, whistling the LFL's tune. The score-sign flipped over, 2-0. Thomas grinned and smiled at Aroyyo, as he headed back to set-up.

Kerry Twidler looked at the ball. 'This is my last world cup... I need to make it worthwhile.' Taking the pass from Thomas, he strode down the field, dribbling the ball very well. He slipped aroun the midfield, and totally ignored the defense, her leg becoming a human cannon, obliterating the ball. It sailed over the goalie, into the top of the net. The Runaway Moose crowd was leaving, a sea of brown fans leaving the stadium in disgust. 'Yes... I've done what I needed to do...' Smiling, he ran back for the restart. 3-0, Lethislavania. Quite a game so far.

Once again, the game began with Thomas dominating the weaker and less-skilled Runaway Moose forwards. However, he was stalling this time. He wanted a perfect shot. Lining up, he kicked the ball through the legs of the Center Mid, and shot forward. He kicked the ball with his left foot, unusual for him, and it sailed right, spinning, but then did a deep turn back left, setting into the net for another goal. 4-0!


The half ended it well, and Lethislavania hit the locker room. Smiling, they waited for Aroyyo to speak. He grinned and opened his mouth, "Men, you did damn well." He went around, shaking hands and giving back slaps. There was finally a mutual respect and trust between them - he was now officialy part of them. They all sat down and talked, waiting to be called back out.

The rest of the game was much like the first part: Lethislavania scored two more goals, Cel Karra scoring both. A fantastic day for us, indeed. Can't wait for ou 6th game.
Starblaydia
03-12-2004, 23:32
Chapter 35
'The Squornshelous Incident'
exclusive excerpt taken from Simeone Di Bradini's forthcoming Auto-Biography: 'Legend'

'The Squornshelous Incident' says it all, really. Five-One, that was a real battering. We hated every minute of that game. But, you have to understand our mindset beforehand before you can even begin to see how we went into that game so badly prepared, to have our worst ever loss inflicted upon us.

I'd attended the Drawing Ceremony in Alan City personally, watching Alan Belmore draw the names from whatever he was using, I couldn't see from our row. We read all the relevant Belmorian literature and photocopied all their handouts and gave them out to everyone who was interested. Starblaydia would host Druida on Matchday 5. We looked at their tapes, read the reports of their games, checked out all the relevant websites, and all that stuff.

So when we got on the plane to get to our match, we wondered why there was such a long journey just to get to the other end of the country. When we landed, of course, they all seemed to speak a different language. But we assumed that was just how Druidans are, y'know? People have told us since 'How come you didn't notice the stadium was wrong?' But the thing is, when you're bussed straight from airport to stadium, they all look alike on the inside, and we were too focussed to notice anything beyond our own game.

It was when we stepped into the stadium that we knew something was wrong. We weren't in Kansas anymore, Toto. The team out on the pitch just looked at us. Guylain (the manager at the time) just looked back and gaped open-mouthed. We'd sent out our 'youngest' team to see off the Druids and instead of seeing Trefor, Trefor, Trefor, Trefor, Trefor, Trefor, Trefor, Garth, Trefor, Trefor and Garth, we saw Squornshelousians. I was in my tracksuit on the sidelines, so I tried to shout some orders at them. Things like 'Just play your own game!' and so on. It obviously didn't work, as we got pasted.

It was so hard to watch. Our players had no marking assignments, didn't know who was going to be taking free-kicks or what their capabilities were. It was lambs to the slaughter. Some witty fool who later received a hasty kicking from our staff showed us the 'Official' schedule provided by Turorian HQ and there it was in Black and White. Team1 Vs Team2, Matchday 5. We couldn't beleive it. Well, of course we could, as it was happening right in front of our very eyes.

That made me determined to go into coaching and not make the mistakes that Guy made in that tournament. That was a momentous game for Starblaydia, and one of the turning points in my long footballing career.

Final Score from Drui, no, Squornshelous:
Squornshelous 5 - 1 Starblaydia
(Gerrard 12 & 27, Raskolnikov 33, Roberts 64, Washington 71) - (Del Blanco 52)

Group 1 P W D L GF-GA Pt
Squornshelous 5 4 1 0 18-5 13
Starblaydia 5 4 0 1 14-5 12
Druida 5 4 0 1 12-4 12
Krytenia 5 3 2 0 15-7 11
Taokoualu 5 1 1 3 6-13 4
Vorpal Bunnies 5 1 0 4 6-12 3
Dead Rockstars 5 0 2 3 7-15 2
Lexmarak 5 0 0 5 1-18 0
The Eagles Nest
04-12-2004, 00:23
Nest Lose in "Walkover" 5-1

Schedule Proven To Be Wrong

The Nest played Melmond today, thinking they were playing Spaam. Oh well. Secour scored one early in the day to make it one nothing. Then, with a loud boom not three minutes later, a large explosion occured in the middle of the pitch leaving a 40 foot crater in the playing field.

4 players were taken to the hospital for bruises, burns, and a broken pinky, but all were expected to be ok...how no one was directly in the blast radius...it's a miracle.

However, the pitch was unplayable and the ref called the match for a walkover giving Melmond a 5-1 win.
Giant Zucchini
04-12-2004, 03:50
Raptor's Must Improve

The Raptor Claw Goalkeeper, Gonnast Opyou, from Tonka City in Giant Zucchini, has been National team keeper for many seasons now, improving at every attempt. The Raptor Claw Defense is led by Imapla Yindabak, also from the South Island Clan The towering central defender is a menace to all that approach. Partnering this Raptor in Central defense is Iwilltac Kleyou, from the rejuvinated Central Island Clan. This Raptor is the first to make the National team from the Central Island Clan since the horrific dismembering of the clan prior to World Cup 14. Playing as Wing backs will be Makapla Yupdaline and Overla Pinrun, both from the East Island Clan and regulars in the Raptors Lineup. The Raptor Claw midfield is led by Captain Imdalea Der, the experienced Raptor from the North Island Clan is an important fixture in the Raptors lineup every time they step out onto the pitch. Partnering Der in the Center of Midfield is Contro Lindaplae, also of the North Island Clan. On the left wing is the pacey Runni Nondaside from the West Island Clan and on the right wing, one of the most prolific Raptor goalscorers, Maki Narun from the South Island Clan. The Raptor Claw strike force is the frequently troublesome duo of Imat Arget and Runni Naroun. both from the East Island Clan.


Gonnast Opyou still plays for Giant Zucchini? Did not see in the list of teams Tonka City

The old Giant Zucchini collapsed 8 years ago, a whole new Giant Zucchini and a whole new league exists now. (Although if you still like the old world you can still try joining Marauding FC ;))
Shonar Bangla
04-12-2004, 04:35
December 3rd, 2004
Hammerund-- They finally did it, they have won their FIRST EVER WORLD CUP WIN, and that too, against Hammerund, a team that still looks good for qualifying to the quarter finals. The fortunes had been turning from the Bedistan game actually, when Shonar Bangla played a decent game, although going down in the end. The team arrived in Hammerund last evening, apprehensive but not demoralized. They had their routine after-practice party. It seems that on this international tour, the players of Shonar Bangla are having an great time, plenty of diversity, but as goalie Utsav Banerjee put it, "pussy is pussy."

In fact, it was Utsav Banerjee's sensational goal-keeping that kept the game for Shonar Bangla. He saved one penalty, and at least three very probable goals during the game. Meanwhile, the offense got its act together, and although the scoreline may declare a 1-0 verdict, it could have been better.

The first half saw fabulous football from the Bangalis, who were ruled offsides twice in the first half alone, as well as plenty of close corner kicks. In the end, the first half went goal-less. The second half began placidly, but picked up pace as time went along. The Shonar Bangla offense and midfield intensified their game, as they knew that a win must be salvaged from Hammerund. Despite the official formation of 4-3-3, the formation on the field rarely resembled so towards the latter quarter of the game, when there were 5-6 players ready to take the ball. Finally, it was a great passing game that won Shonar Bangla the goal, just when it seemed that this would be yet another frustrating draw.

The game was watched by very few back home, but news of the victory spread like wildfire. While the poorer neighbourhoods came out with firecrackers, the middle class areas were quiet. The mood in the bazaars, as one pointed out, was: "It looked like we played beyond our potential just to beat seventh ranked Hammerund, I doubt this was anything more than a one-time performance. It happens, when people are in risk of their job, they become superman."

Surely, it will take more than one victory to satisfy the populace. In the meanwhile, the team has flown back to Murshidabad, Shonar Bangla, where they meet Eystrk tomorrow. Incidentally, Eystrk was win-less (actually, draw-less), till today's out-of-the-box performance with Big Pimiento, a team that has surprised the likes of Bedistan. In an interview on the plane, captain Zakir Hussain is quoted to have said: "We did everything right today, and hope that we will do the same tomorrow. Tomorrow's victory against Eystrk will be a mighty boost for the team, not just in the standings, but also in our hearts, to ensure us that Hammerund was not a one-timer. Just for the record, they have played some great football today, we were amazed at how this team pulled itself together, after being so severely written off by Big Pimiento. We will be prepared to face them tomorrow, no doubt."

The team was seen practising hard under floodlights at the Murshidabad National Stadium. Tomorrow being a Saturday, there is good chance of as good a turnout as the Snub Nose 38 game.
Jeruselem
04-12-2004, 08:15
Jeruselem Government News

No Maserrati for Jeruselem but still a win

While Maserrat is not sports car, it is still relevant to this new item. Jeruselem beat Maserrat 2-0 in their 5th world cup game for XIX/19/!9 to make it 4 wins and one loss. Maserrat who are known for their inconsistency, did not really challenge Jeruselem who overran 2-0 them and stay in the top 3 of Group 3. It was sad for Maserrat but they really need to pick up their game or did Jeruselem play a mercenary team (hired for the sake of getting games to go) in their place?

'I dunno, but that wasn't Maserrat. It looked like local club team in Maserrat team strip and they weren't too bad. The giveway was none of them knew what they designated names were in Maserrat' the coach said.

Oceaice beat 7JM 1-0 to stop the rot while Crystilakere rolled on with a 2-1 win over rival Iansisle. Lethislavania shot a moose with a six-gun, with 6-0 win over Runaway Moose whose famous win over Jeruselem has faded into history by not continuing with it's good form. Runaway Moose has scored only 2 goals, the ones against Jeruselem and none other.

Group 3
Iansisle 1 - 2 Crystilakere
Jeruselem 2 - 0 - Former Maserrat -
Oceaice 1 - 0 7JM
Lethislavania 6 - 0 Runaway Moose
One Red Dot
04-12-2004, 10:48
We have more results STOP
Today we defeated the opposition 3-1 STOP
I'm afraid it was not The Eagle's Nest as earlier said STOP
We were mistaken STOP
So many players pissed in their pants for nothing STOP
We allegedly played against Spaam STOP
The Eagle's Nest lost their match STOP
So Melmond and ORD are at the top STOP
Seperated by a GD of 7 STOP
The official tables are very wrong STOP
So we provide our own tables STOP
The tables will be coming in an envelope STOP
Together with this irritating telegram STOP
Our next match is against Melmond STOP
Defeating them strengthens our position STOP

WC19 Group 5: P W D L F-A T
1. Melmond 5 3 2 0 14-2 11
2. One Red Dot 5 3 2 0 10-5 11
3. The Eagle's Nest 5 3 1 1 15-9 10
4. Spaam 5 2 1 2 8-7 7
5. Fmjphoenix 5 2 1 2 8-10 7
6. Phazania 5 0 4 1 6-9 4
7. Lennon Marx 5 0 3 2 2-10 3
8. Kipto-Mare 5 0 0 5 3-14 0
Dance 2 Revolution
04-12-2004, 16:03
We Suck

Dance 2 Revolution lose to Vilita for first time in history

Dance 2 Revolution had high hopes of getting points against highly ranked Vilita, even away from home, Dance 2 Revolution had never lost againt any Vilitian side...until now. It has taken Vilita 6 matches to defeat Dance 2 Revolution, but they've finally done it...this, my friends, in Match Day 5!

Dance 2 Revolution conceded 2 goals in this match, maybe should have been more...and maybe Dance 2 Revolution should have scored at least once. We're not sure...and since the match was played behind closed doors, for absolutely NO reason, we don't know what happened.

Final Score:
Vilita 2(?? ?', ?? ?')
Dance 2 Revolution 0
Bedistan
04-12-2004, 16:42
The Bedistan Sports Digest

Not Lovin' It
Why do we play Lovisa so much, anyway?

SONOMA CITY -- It was the fourth meeting in just eight years for the football teams from Bedistan and Lovisa. Up to now, the former had never lost such a match, having an overall 2-1-0 record and outscoring their opponents 9-5, including that highly exciting WC18 group stage match that resulted in a five-three win for the navy and green. But Lovisa are no slouches. They proved this point today at Fillmore National as their very strong offense got the better of the Lions at last.

The home team started off on top, as crowd favorite Nick Yu put the first goal in with a blinding shot that the Lovisan keeper nearly had to duck out of the way of. Jackson Reinhardt would double the score in the 26th minute from a free kick. Up by two, the Lions' attackers started backing off, and even in the first half it would prove to be fatal. Lovisan Guy #9 made a hard drive up the left side of the pitch and into the box. His shot was parried by Reagan in goal, but the ball came right back to him, and #9 didn't miss the second time. Two-one, and Lovisa were back in the ballgame. The Bedistani defense continued to be put to the test, and occasionally it got a bit rough. Carl Chang made a rather hard tackle on Lovisan Guy #11 on the edge of the box, and the ref awarded a yellow card and a penalty. #11 being injured, #21 came on to replace him, and he took the penalty as some sort of sign of vengeance. Reagan guessed the wrong way, and the score was tied at two going into halftime.

During the break, Bedistan manager Morris McGarity opted for a slightly more defensive stance, and he replaced recent under-21 graduate George Washburn with defender Tara Pullman, who is just coming off a fantastic season with the Dennis Bears. This seemed to help to stem the tide just a bit, but with Reinhardt and Cardinal tiring up front, the Lions' offense become pretty much impotent. And there was no holding back the Lovisan spirit. Lovisan Guy #9 scored his second goal in the 58th minute on a cross from #6 in midfield, putting the away side up 3-2. Finally, #10 put the last nail in the coffin with his curving eighteen-yard shot that seemed to baffle Reagan. Four-two was the final score, and the Lovisan fans (we think there were a couple there) went into a frenzy.

"We botched it," said Acosta Browns defender Dave al-Armani after the match. "Letting in four goals? That's not Bedistani football. Bedistani football is aggressive, yes, but normally we also cover our asses. And we did not do that in this match."

BEDISTAN 2
N. Yu 9, J. Reinhardt 26
LOVISA 4
L. Guy #9 37, 58; L. Guy #21 pen 40; L. Guy #10 76

Next Match
The next match is an away match. It was originally supposed to be against Snub Nose 38, but the Hooligans withdrew from World Cup XIX after matchday 2. The team has not been replaced as yet. Therefore, it is currently a mystery as to where the Bedistan Lions will be playing their next match. Hopefully the Oglethorpian time travel technology is still working, because the BFA may need it again.
EL CID THE HERO
04-12-2004, 17:51
EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

Kanage

El Cid the Hero 5 (dash 13 Kan 23,47+,58 brown 78)
The Weegies 2 (? ,6,27)

with the lions celabrating their 5th game unbeaten and their 4th win. it looks like the lions can get to the WC finals again this year.

With this game being a rematch of The Weegies vs ECTH of the WC 17 match the lions looked like they wanted to prove it wasn't a fluk. however it was The Weegies that scored first with a center forward geting the ball in the box and shot just outside of Niemi reach.

With this Handycap the lions were determand to get back on leval terms. this they did in the 13 min when a brown cross made contacked with dash's head and into the back of the net.

Ten minits later the lions struck again when Trotter and Kan teamed up in the center and by-passed the defence. at that point it was Kan vs the goaly and their could only be one winner. 2-1 to ECTH.

The Weegies however got back leva l5 mins later when a corner kick and a header by a Weegie's forward to get it passed Niemi and into the goal. 2-all

at the death of half time Kan managed to get a header off a free kick and in it went. 3-2 to the lions at half time.

with the first half over and the Weegies in retreat it was clear that it wasn't going to be their game. and when Kan got a hat-trick in the 58th their fate was set in stone.

The lions rapped it up with Brown geting a goal from a free kick just outside the box. 5-2 the final score.

With this game over the lions must now focus on Kaze Progressa. Can the lions get a 5th win in a row?

READ AND YOU WILL FIND

MD1
EL CID THE HERO 2 - 0 Munchkinloopa

MD2
Sliponia 1 - 1 EL CID THE HERO

MD3
EL CID THE HERO 2 - 1 Legalese

MD4
Chonchland 0-2 EL CID THE HERO

MD5
The Weegies 2-5 EL CID THE HERO

MD6
EL CID THE HERO v Kaze Progressa

MD7
NEWI Cefn Druids v EL CID THE HERO
Audioslavia
04-12-2004, 18:20
Lowland Canned
TLC's poor form continues as 'slaves stay top

Audioslavia were narrow favourites to win this game. Ranked sixth in the world and coming off the back of four straight wins, The Lowland Clans needed something special to win after the joint-group-favourites took just six points from their first four games. They weren't going to give up without a fight though, and TLC shocked the home fans by netting the first on thirty-five minutes with a low piledriver of a shot from Bearclay. In fairness, TLC had the better of the opening third of the game and deserved the lead, but Audioslavia's comeback was all too swift, the TLC defence kicking themselves for not being alert when they needed to be. Carel's long ball dropped over Jansen's shoulder and the speedy winger tore past McGraff on the left. A high cross found Rijsbergen who nodded the ball down to McLlroy who was completely free in the box. McLlroy's first shot was charged down by Rotios, but the ball bounced kindly for the striker and he scored at the second attempt.

The 'slaves took the lead midway through the second half from a corner converted by Arne Carel and the side never looked back, keeping the ball and outplaying a frustrated and dissapointing Clanners side until the end.

FINAL SCORE:
Audioslavia 2 (McLlroy 42, Carel 65)
The Lowland Clans 1 (Bearclaw, 35)

Audioslavia: Andersson, Fox, Carel, Johnstone, Tanner, Tessem, Jansen, Rijsbergen, Marriot (c), Dannes, McLlroy.

The Lowland Clans: Rotios, McGraff, West, George, Julios (c), Ijas, Illius. Rose, McHenry, Bearclay, Stuart

Group 8 P W D L GF-GA Pt
Audioslavia 5 5 0 0 14-2 15
Sarzonia 5 4 0 1 11-4 12
Lykaia 5 3 1 1 11-8 10
Zvarinograd 5 3 0 2 9-11 9
The Lowland Clans 5 2 0 3 5-5 6
Slaikau 5 1 1 3 5-7 4
Middle March 5 1 0 4 6-15 3
Antixilian Fatwah 5 0 0 5 1-10 0

Thanks to Sarzonia's impressive defeat of Lykaia, Audioslavia are now three points clear at the top of the group. The Stars leapfrog Lykaia into second place on twelve points whilst Lykaia go third. Fourth place is taken, surprisingly, by Zvarinograd, a side taking advantage of their easier opening games and the lack of energy in the bottom section of the group. TLC are fifth and struggling, Slaiku are sixth and also not fulfilling their expectations, whilst the bottom two places in group eight are filled as one would expect, by Middle March and Antixillian Fatwah, the latter of which still without a win and with only one goal to their name.
Sarzonia
04-12-2004, 18:53
Stars and Slaves ready to tangle

WOODSTOCK (ASP) -- Despite a tense political situation that included a military coup that deposed President Mike Sarzo, the Sarzonian national team swears it is ready for its home match against Group 8 top seed and world sixth ranked Audioslavia at a sold out Hendrix Stadium in the nation's capital, Woodstock.

"We're not even considering any political ramifications of what's going on behind the scenes," Coach Dave Wilson said, determination etched on his face for the entire press conference instead of the usual jovial smile that marked the beginning of most Stars news conferences. "A lot of Sarzonians are looking to us to distract them from the grave situation our government's in so we've got a much larger responsibility than worrying about a mere football game."

The Stars (4-0-1, 12 points) and the Slaves (5-0-0, 15 points) have proven to be the class of the group in the early going, with the Stars ahead of third place Lykaia by two points. Sarzonia has never faced Audioslavia in a senior match, but is familiar with its former Under 21 players. Wilson said that would mean little more than "happening to see familiar faces on the other side of the ball."

"They're different football players and we're different football players now, so that Under 21 past is just that. The present is [Audioslavia] is a great team and it's one of the toughest opponents we've faced outside of our region. We're going to have to play a great game to be able to stand a chance against those guys."

The team said it spent extra time watching the game tapes of the Slaves' previous performances leading up to and including this World Cup qualifying effort. Stars midfielder Darwin Russell said the team was using that partly to distract them from the political crisis in Sarzonia and partly to get ready for Audioslavia.

"It's going to be a motivator, that's for sure," Russell said. "We want to win one to give our country something to look at with pride in a time like this."
Svecia
04-12-2004, 19:31
VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

SVECIKANS WONDER ABOUT SCORES
Analysts question how good teams let in so many goals

Svecia 0 Commerce Heights 4

- It started by looking at the rundown of the Lightning´s scoreline against Commerce Heights. 4-0 is not a pretty score, but being the 11th ranked team in the world, Svecikans began to wonder how their team could do so poorly against a team ranked lower than themselves. A 4-0 score happened last World Cup as Svecia went out in the second round to the top ranked Rejistania team.

But then as the analysts began to run down the rest of the scores from the weekend, a few scores jumped out at them. Squornshelous beating a respectable Starblaydia side by 4 goals, Lethislavania by 6 over Runaway Moose, Melmond 5-1 over The Eagles Nest (Melmond certainly has come a long way in defense of them, but a 4 goal win over The Eagles Nest was quite an accomplishment), Eauz and Rejistania scoring a total of 5 goals between the two teams with Rejistania coming out again with the loss, and Tadjikistan 5-1 over Oaker.

The analysts were severely confused over these numbers, which are more often seen when a highly ranked team plays a much lower team, which is not the case in most of these scenarios.

Svecia dropped to third place in the group with the loss to first place Commerce Heights but this was only the 5th match of qualifying and there is still much time for the Lightning to overtake the others.
Eauz
04-12-2004, 20:49
Le LIBRE

What is going on???

At Le Stade d’Eauz, around 300 fans stood to watch the Eauz vs. Kylaai match, but were not sure what the wait was to get inside the building. Waiting and waiting, they realised after a sign was put up that the match was not today. Apparently, the hosts made many mistakes with the schedule, and fixed it up to be in a different order. Apparently, Les Bleus would be travelling from TEU to Rejistania to play their first ever match in Rejistania. Despite popular belief, there were many supporters of Eauz in Rejistania. When Les Bleus were coming on the field, the fans were very respectful for them, and sang the Eauz anthem too. It shows the respect between the two nations. All this despite the fact that the Eauz government is encouraging Rejistania to move closer to the left, and rid itself of this evil thing called “privatization”.

The referee blew the whistle, and the match was off. Les Bleus were the underdog in this match, but many believed that Les Bleus, due to their great start would win the match. Les Bleus surprised the Rejistanian team as they took away the ball from Rejistania, who started with it, within the first minute of play. Les Bleus brought it up field passing it around. Alia tried to get open in front of the net, but was guarded tightly by the Rejistanian defence.

Anyways….. this report will be short, because I’m too lazy to make up the rest of the match. Some people scores some goals and in the end, Eauz won 3 – 2.

Schedule

Match Day 1: Adam Island @ Eauz W 1 - 3
Match Day 2: Eauz @ Hiiraan W 4 - 0
Match Day 3: Villapange @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Match Day 4: Eauz @ The Evil Umpire W 1 - 0
Match Day 5: Eauz @ Rejistania W 3 - 2
Match Day 6: Kylaai @ Eauz
Match Day 7: Eauz @ Esth

Match Day 8: Eauz @ Adam Island
Match Day 9: Hiiraan @ Eauz
Match Day 10: Eauz @ Villapange
Match Day 11: The Evil Umpire @ Eauz
Match Day 12: Rejistania @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz @ Kylaai
Match Day 14: Esth @ Eauz



Group 7 P W D L GF-GA Pt
Eauz 5 5 0 0 12-3 15
Kylaai 5 3 1 1 13-7 10
Rejistania 5 3 0 2 12-8 9
Esth 5 2 0 3 9-9 6
The Evil Umpire 5 2 0 3 6-7 6
Adam Island 5 2 0 3 7-10 6
Villiapange 5 1 2 2 8-10 5
Hiiraan 5 0 1 4 5-18 1
Eauz
04-12-2004, 21:01
Nest Lose in "Walkover" 5-1

Schedule Proven To Be Wrong

The Nest played Melmond today, thinking they were playing Spaam. Oh well. Secour scored one early in the day to make it one nothing. Then, with a loud boom not three minutes later, a large explosion occured in the middle of the pitch leaving a 40 foot crater in the playing field.

4 players were taken to the hospital for bruises, burns, and a broken pinky, but all were expected to be ok...how no one was directly in the blast radius...it's a miracle.

However, the pitch was unplayable and the ref called the match for a walkover giving Melmond a 5-1 win.

Eauz officials are sending help to The Eagles Nest after that disaster.
Vilita
04-12-2004, 21:04
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif

2-0 :: Revolution Halted

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Vilita Goalscorers::
19' Ricky Ezis
50' Callum Banda
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-------------------A Strong Vilita Jungle Cats lineup got back at the Dance 2 Revolution side that ended their hopes at World Cup 18 Glory by shutting out the video game addicts. After Meeting Dance 2 Revolution in their first ever world Cup Group, The Jungle Cats earned their first point in a 0-0 draw against the revolutionaries. 3 Defeats following led up to the big World Cup clash, that ended in a 3-3 Draw after Extra Time, with the gamers winning on penalty kicks. Being drawn together in the qualifying stage for the 3rd time makes Dance2Revolution one of Vilita's biggest all time rivals, and goals from young defender Ricky Ezis and all time top scorer Callum Banda have ensured that Vilita retain their place atop Group 10.


Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Jimmy Kater
Worst Player: Jaloey Afrikka
Shots on Target: 2
Corner Kicks: 4

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Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [D] Ricky Ezis, [D] Sibusiso Azaïez, [DMC] Jürgen Ramzi, [ML] Santo Kecker, [MC] Antonis Siazzu, [MC] Marasent Sioane, [MR] Inaki Soler, [FC] Callum Banda, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni,
BENCH::
[FC] Serge DuPont, [FC] Jan Christiansen, [M] Jacques Vintila, [M] Umberto Melli, [U] Esemar Aliana, [D] Christos Tchami, [GK] Bryan 'Pop' Duiker,

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Inaki Soler >>> Jacques Vintila
Rejistania
04-12-2004, 21:08
OOC: I ment to hit preview!

Mince Alors!

The Orange-Blues played against the Blues. or in french: Les Bleus, from Eauz and lost their second match in this qualifiers. This time, the main team was not outclassed but defeated despite that. The match ended 3:2.

Coach Syku "SyLy" Lyku decided for a very offensive System Hangila tactic against an Eauzian System Imdila. The rejistani lineup had no big surprises except Jentu Minikse being the third striker and Mija Kansu was not starting. The fans of Rejistania and Eauz have no bigger rivalries and seeing both countries are more (Eauz) or less (Rejistania) socialist, the mood was not as heated as you would have expected it in the top match of the group. The attempts of SyLy to make the Orange-Blues a team which plays a more aggressive and offensive sekhika also led to a much more vulnerable defense. Taserikijilti Vavenetexy had to parry numerous Eauzian attacks and in the 18th minute, had to get the ball out of the net for the first time. Alia'he brought the Blues (who are not Orange) ahead 0:1. Rousseau'he increased the lead for Les Bleus in thw 34th minute. The good thing was that the Orange-Blues also had numerous chances but could not finish most of them. Jentu Minikse nearly equalized the score in the 25th minute, but the ball went too high and fell on the net. In the 39th minute, Salakerijasamenatira "Sa" Harakemindanutikejil was the one to lower the trailing for the Orange-Blues. At the beginning of the second half, "Sa" equalized again. The rejistanis started to Karela to save their point over the remaining 40 minutes. But in the last minute of the match, Vasser did the unthinkable: He shot from a quite higfh distance over the heads of the rejistani defenders and then, the ball went past goalie Taserikijilti Vavenetexy. The score was 2:3 and the Orange.Blues third in the table.

The result:
Eauz 3 (Alia 18th, Rousseau 34th, Vasser 90th)
Rejistania 2 (Harakemindanutikejil 39th 49th)
Pterodactyl
04-12-2004, 21:52
Pterodactyls Not Extinct Yet

A Pterodactyl with a wingspan so large, swooped over my head with a thunderous charge,

It didn’t scare me, not one little bit.
I stood my ground, while biting my lip.

I hoped it was gone with my eyes clenched shut. When all of a sudden I was lifted right up.

I was dropped in a nest with some rather large eggs. as big as my neighbor’s gigantic trash bags.

I sat in the nest with very wide eyes, pondering the next moment, when to my surprise

the Pterodactyl flew back and scooped me right up. And dropped me back were I started with a plop.

I still wasn’t scared, not one little bit. But I ran inside at a very fast clip!

Results:
Wella 1 - 1 Pterodactyl
Pterodactyl 1 - 2 Aquiliana
Liverpool England 3 - 1 Pterodactyl
Pterodactyl 0 - 4 Total n Utter Insanity
Hisam 3 - 3 Pterodactyl
Pterodactyl 1 - 2 Anglevia

With 2 point from 6 game Pterodactyl start poorly. Tie against Wella and Hisam optimistic of winning in the next matches in Pterodactyl return to the cup.
Adam Island
04-12-2004, 22:52
Adam Island Gears Up For Hiiraan

Adam Island, after losing and then tying a game, has found itself only 3 points away from qualifying for the cup, occupying 5th place in the group.


Group 7 P W D L GF-GA Pt
Eauz 6 6 0 0 15-3 18
Rejistania 6 4 0 2 15-9 12
Kylaai 5 3 1 2 13-10 10
The Evil Umpire 6 3 0 3 12-8 9
Adam Island 6 2 1 3 10-11 7
Esth 6 2 0 4 10-12 6
Villiapange 6 1 2 3 9-11 6
Hiiraan 6 0 1 5 6-24 1

Its next match is against Hiiraan, who it beat in the Baptism of Fire group play, 2-1. Hiiraan currently occupies the last spot in Group 7. A win tomorrow along with a loss by both The Evil Umpire (vs Villiapange) and Kylaai (vs Rejistania) will place Adam Island in third place, which means they would qualify if only the group play ended halfway through.
Cockbill Street
04-12-2004, 23:43
Street In It. Deep.
Can´t Even Beat Nonesuch

Everybody beats Nonesuch Street. It seems to be a kind of a natural law - Nonesuch Street shall play exceedingly bad football and always lose. But, of course, when Cockbill Street play against them they have to overperform...or was it underperform?

Their first match against our southern rivals, Nonesuch Street, wasn´t bad as such. It was abysmal in the extreme. It was a passive, boring game of football, where neither side really deserved to win, and thus a 1-1 result was thoroughly fair - especially given that both goals came from penalties. The Cockbill strikers, especially Stubbings, were tame, toothless and poor in their finishes, and it didn´t help much that the Nonesuch goalie Highsenburg played the game of his life.

The nadir was reached at the 37th minute, as Galena fouled Poahcare with a clear tackle from behind, was sent off, and J C MacSwell converted the penalty for 1-0 to Nonesuch. That caused 90,000 of the 140,000-strong crowd to leave immediately - with only a few diehard fans and some five thousand from Nonesuch to stay behind.

Luckily for Cockbill´s qualification hopes, 0-1 at half-time changed into 1-1 at full-time. E R J A Shrewdinger was almost as stupid as Galena had been - handling the ball when Rankin shot into his hand. The referee, Ray Ferry of One Red Dot, gave Cockbill another penalty in gift, and Robert Stubbings shot it in for 1-1. Despite huge pressure towards the end, all Cockbill earned were a few bookings and a solitary point - which saw them struggle for

The second match against Oddslavo brought some hope at least. Going down 0-1 early to a fluke of a goal off a free-kick, the Streetians showed good morale and controlled most of the match for the final 81 minutes. However, the midfield failed to create chances properly, despite complete dominance of possession, and Cockbill Street's Scott Walker needed serious help to get his first goal off a corner kick, which he headed onto an Oddslavan defender and into the back of the net. The Streetians pushed on, leading the game completely, and getting their due with a 2-1 goal from Robert Stubbings in the 37th minute - but still couldn´t put balls into the back of the net. About eight shots were wasted, as were a 65 % possession rate, and when Oddslavo somehow got in another fluke goal, that was the end of the winning hopes.

Nonesuch Street 1 (MacSwell 37 pen)
Cockbill Street 1 (Stubbings 62 pen)

NONESUCH STREET Substitutions:
Highsenburg Bruthaford for Plank 61´
(8) Chandra Seccah for Horking 68´
Fineman Shrewdinger Boore D´Iraq Pohli for Poahcare 78´
(5) (6) (6) (5) Bookings: Plank, de Slah
de Slah Poahcare Plank Mightner
(6) (4) (5) (6)
MacSwell Horking
(6) (4)
-----------------------------------------------------------
Stubbings Peters Substitutions:
(4) (6) Jones (5) for Galena 49´
Nickel-carbide Rankin Heimfoething Keegan Cawdron (5) for Nickel-carbide 55´
(4) (6) (5) (5) Moissanite for Peters 80´
Walker Galena Dwarfclobberer Golddevourer Bookings: Rankin, Heimfoething, Peters, Golddevourer
(5) (4) (6) (4) Red card: Peters 37´
Underwood
(4)
COCKBILL STREET

Cockbill Street 2 (Walker 22, Stubbings 37)
Oddslavo 2 (??? 9, ??? 48)

Stubbings Peters Substitutions:
(7) (6) Silicaceous-sulphate for Peters 49'
Nickel-carbide Stewart Heimfoething Keegan Cawdron for Nickel-carbide 70´
(6) (5) (6) (6) Roberts for Keegan 79'
Walker Galena Dwarfclobberer Joyce Bookings: Walker, Nickel-carbide
(6) (7) (5) (5)
Underwood
(5)
COCKBILL STREET
Lethislavania
05-12-2004, 00:02
Lethislavania Fighting Green

Surging through them was the vision, the reminder of the crushing blow they dealt Runaway Moose. A great empowerment, one that heroes of crusades feel. Running, they proudly took the field, ready to fight the Oceanice foe.

The game began quickly, very quickly. The Oceanice center utterly dominated Thomas Boeing, flying past him and the midfielder. He dished it over to Oceanice's left forward, who surge past Karnesky. Spinning, he lofted the ball back over to the center, who drilled it into the goal for the first point. A knife, sharp and cold, pierced the heart of the overconfident squad. Aroyyo shook his head. "I told them not to get too cocky..." Frowning, he watched as the team struggled against the Oceanice bench, who overpowered the Lethislavanian starters.

The second half was not much better, until Thomas Boeing got the ball from Cel Karra. He shot up the field, darting and dashing around the Oceanice defense, then nailed the ball in for a goal. 1-1!

Ending, the stadium felt silent, but Aroyyo was joyous. 'They held them off... That's all that matters.'
Eauz
05-12-2004, 00:27
Le LIBRE

Incredible

Finally getting things straightened out relating to the schedule, Les Bleus came home from a 2 game road trip, where they saw the scary country of The Evil Umpire, winning 1 – 0 and then going into Rejistania and pulling off an incredible 3 – 2 win. After 5 match days, Les Bleus were 5 – 0 – 0 and it was looking as if Les Bleus were for real. Fans started coming back to the stadium, as 10,000 spectators came to see Les Bleus play against Kylaai in Le Stade d’Eauz. Due to a Rejistanian loss to Eauz, Kylaai was sitting in 2nd place looking like the surprise team of group 7. Les Bleus players were actually happy and encouraged by the large crowd in this match.

The match started with Les Bleus eager to get on the offence. Vasser snuck through the defence of Kylaai, and took a shot, only to be blocked by Mandoo Nania the Kylaai keeper. The keeper kicked it down field, but Devereux headed it back up field. Les Bleus were back on the attack quickly, as D'Aubigne brought the ball up towards the net. Getting squared out fast, she sent a high pass to the front of the net. Mandoo Nania tried to go for the ball, but Rousseau was there and knocked the ball into the net during the 19th minute of play, giving Les Bleus a 1 – 0 lead. Kylaai came back with a strong attack after the goal by Les Bleus, as Mazu Kazu, Vlanti Vimorta & Rising Sun got through the Eauz defence. Kazu received a pass in front of the net and headed it, but Rousoi got a hand on it, and knocked it over the net. A corner came after that, as the kick was taken, it appeared as if Kylaai would go for a long kick, but at the last moment, they sent a pass to a player o the outside of the penalty zone. The Vimorta took another shot, but it hit the crossbar, bouncing back into play, with Rousoi grabbing it. Rousoi wanted to stop the attack so waited a bit and kicked it down field. The match moved towards the 42nd minute of play, with Les Bleus fighting for the ball in the Kylaai zone. Alia went for the ball, but was called for a foul and given a yellow card. The referee appeared to be in a bad mood, as Alia questioned the call, the referee pulled out a red card sending him off the field. Les Bleus would be without him for the rest of the match plus match day 7. Les Bleus did though get another goal during injury time of the first half when D’Aubigne came into the penalty zone and let a shot go, sailing quickly past the Kylaai keeper. Les Bleus would go up 2 – 0 at the half point.

Eauz fans were excited to see that their team had improved greatly improved, and couldn’t believe that their team was looking to go onto a 6 – 0 – 0 record. Kylaai though would have something to say about that in the second half. Kylaai put on a 5-minute assault in the Eauz zone, as Les Bleus found it hard to clear the ball. Kylaai mid-fielder, Tennence Fleiam got through the Eauz defence, but the shot went wide. Rousoi sent the ball down field, but Kylaai was searching for more from their team. Rising Sun, of Kylaai got open and received a pass, then took a shot, but quickly, Daintan got in the way, and deflected the ball out of danger. Les Bleus defence seemed to be quite alive and possibly ranked uber. The 77the minute of play arrived, and Les Bleus were in the Kylaai zone. Vasser took a shot, which was stopped by the keeper, but the keeper couldn’t hold onto it, Alia picked up the rebound and knocked it in, giving Les Bleus a 3 – 0 lead. Just before the match was over, Kylaai was not ready to go down, as Mazu Kazu, during the 89th minute was open, and took a shot to the empty part of the net. Rousoi dove and got a fist on it, blocking it just in time. Les Bleus calmed down the attack and they went on to a 3 – 0 victory.

With the victory, the team defence and celebrate another good job, and an improved performance from the past. Les Bleus finished off match day 6 and continue their dream run of 6 – 0 – 0. With the victory, Les Bleus knocked Kylaai down to 3rd place, giving Rejistania a bit of room in 2nd place. Les Bleus will try and finish off the first half on a perfect record, as they will travel to Esth for their first ever match against Esth in Esth. Les Bleus have had 1 match against Esth, and it was during World Cup 18, where Les Bleus beat them 3 – 0. Up this this point, the Esth offence has been ok with 10 goals, but their defence has been worse, giving up 12 goals. With the tough Eauz defence so far, Esth will find it hard to penetrate the Eauz defence, but one never knows what could occur, especially when the match is in Esth.

Schedule

Match Day 1: Adam Island @ Eauz W 1 - 3
Match Day 2: Eauz @ Hiiraan W 4 - 0
Match Day 3: Villapange @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Match Day 4: Eauz @ The Evil Umpire W 1 - 0
Match Day 5: Eauz @ Rejistania W 3 - 2
Match Day 6: Kylaai @ Eauz W 0 - 3
Match Day 7: Eauz @ Esth

Match Day 8: Eauz @ Adam Island
Match Day 9: Hiiraan @ Eauz
Match Day 10: Eauz @ Villapange
Match Day 11: The Evil Umpire @ Eauz
Match Day 12: Rejistania @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz @ Kylaai
Match Day 14: Esth @ Eauz



Group 7 P W D L GF-GA Pt
Eauz 6 6 0 0 15-3 18
Rejistania 6 4 0 2 15-9 12
Kylaai 6 3 1 2 13-10 10
The Evil Umpire 6 3 0 3 12- 7 9
Adam Island 6 2 1 3 8-11 7
Esth 6 2 0 4 10-12 6
Villiapange 6 1 3 2 9-11 6
Hiiraan 6 0 1 5 5-24 1
Melmond
05-12-2004, 01:02
Melmond Draws Group 5: Reaction
By Pjsy RhIngg of the Wzkknfs Hnyd Tribune

Now this is more like it! After winning quite possibly the dullest, least interesting, and weakest qualifying group in recent history during World Cup 18 qualifying, the Fearless Farmers of Melmond have some interesting opponents in World Cup 19 qualifying this time around in Group 5. This time around, Melmond is the number two seed in the group as the world ranking slipped after a so-so performance at the World Cup in Eauz, where a solid but not spectacular performance by the Fearless Farmers left Melmond on the outside looking in in terms of the Round of 16. In this group, there is a mixture of no names, solid powers, and burgeoning upstarts. Without further ado, let us take a look at Melmond’s opponents.

The matches against The Eagles Nest should prove to be the most interesting as when the Melmond Football Association, it modeled itself after the quick ascension of The Eagles Nest football program. Some say Melmond has surpassed The Eagles Nest, but they will have a lot to say about that.

One Red Dot is a side pundits always expect to tail off and ride into the red dot set, but seem to stick around and qualify for the World Cup every year. They will be a team to watch and very competitive.

Spaam is certainly on the downside as the once mighty world power is now plummeting to mediocrity. In the matches between Melmond and Spaam, Melmond has owned the Spaamians.

Fmjphoenix is certainly the dark horse in terms of qualifying this group. The Vikings look very hungry and very promising and probably can pull off some big time upsets. They shouldn’t knock off The Eagles Nest or Melmond but One Red Dot and Spaam should be wary of this side.

Kipto-Mare is your perennial also ran. You should expect nothing special against this eternally mediocre side.

Lennon Marx should be a side of the future. Last appearing in international play during Melmond’s debut, internal strife distracted the Green Leopards from any taste of success. Now they are back and more focused. The best of the bottom three.

Phazania is basically a rather obscure side who had a rather solid performance at the Baptism of Fire tourney, although not much is expected of them in this group.

The Prediction
1. The Eagles Nest
2. Melmond
3. Spaam
4. One Red Dot
5. Fmjphoenix
6. Lennon Marx
7. Kipto-Mare
8. Phazania

Melmond National Team Schedule

v Kipto-Mare (Bwnlqjd Knjgi, Wzkknfs Hnyd)
@ Lennon Marx
v Phazania (Anachronism Park, Cali)
@ Fmjphoenix
@ The Eagles Nest
@ Spaam
v One Red Dot (Makinshakes Stadium, O’Connor)
@ Kipto-Mare
v Lennon Marx (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Phazania
v Fmjphoenix (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
v The Eagles Nest (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
v Spaam (Microcosm Football Colossuseum, Aldi)
@ One Red Dot

Next Game
vs. Kipto-Mare (Bwnlqjd Knjgi, Wzkknfs Hnyd)

This first qualifying match should be more of a tune-up match for the Fearless Farmers more than anything; Kipto-Mare should be no match for the Melmond National Team, especially in front of the fanatics in Wzkknfs Hnyd who love to cheer on the natives of the Wzkknf region. We are officially in generation 2 or 2.5 in terms of Melmondian football, and this generation will have this game to gel together. Xtfuinxm should be a brick wall and the strikers will probably do rather well. We will be bold and predict a 2-nil Melmond victory. Here is Manager David Bixler’s starting lineup.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Notint Hecloset
D- Veronica Dean
D- Charles Unne
D- Trav Strachan
M- Peeko Noodleschlausen
M- Alfred Smith
M- Pauline Hulme
M- Jake Cormier
F- Gene MacDougall
F- Tim Remans

Bwnlqjd Knjgi
Location: Wzkknfs Hnyd, Melmond
Seats: 50,024 (Open Air)

The region formerly known as Ruffia and now known as Wzkknf finally has a major sporting stadium to call its own in its capital of Wzkknfs Hnyd. The Wzkknf region may be technically part of Melmond and there are no wishes for independence as they are rather happy of the unobtrusive Melmondian rule, this stadium is like a national stadium in a region which has its unique culture unto its own. The world famous gum company based in Wzkknfs Hynd, Bwnlqjd, put in a lot of their own money in this stadium. The stadium itself has a cover for all the seats so they do not get wet, unless you want to be really close to the action where retractable seating is used as this stadium can be also used for track and field as well as football. Wzkknfs Hnyd is Melmond's eleventh largest city and has boasted such Melmondian football players as Snhp Xtfuinxm, Fwynj Otsjx, Ojfssnsj Xrnym, and Fgtgt. Tickets are hopelessly sold out! Jsotd!
Bedistan
05-12-2004, 04:14
The Bedistan Sports Digest

Snubbed
Match takes place, but only halfheartedly

RUNAWAY MOOSE -- Bedistan's sixth match of these World Cup qualifiers was scheduled to be an away match against Snub Nose 38. However, The Guy Currently In Charge of Stuff for the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 (TGCICSFTFFBOSN38) refused to allow Turorian and Belmorian officials into the country at all. As a result, the match had to be moved to the nearest possible location*. Thankfully, Snub Nose 38 is not alone on Asteroid B612 -- they do have one neighbor, Runaway Moose, a nation also participating in these World Cup qualifiers, returning from a long absence.

It is unknown what has actually become of the SN38 national side, the Hooligans, as all record of the team's existence has been eliminated (think 1984-style) by the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages. It is fairly certain, though, that the fifteen opposing players that did show up in Runaway Moose were not them. Since they were in fact SN38 citizens, though (judging from official documents they had with them), officials went ahead with the match. These apparently not being professional footballers, the Bedistan Lions were presented with no trouble at all, and agreed to give the makeshift "Hooligans" a break after twelve minutes, with the score already five-nil. The footballers began playing board games, in much the style of the WC15 qualifying "match" against ex-nation Grand master Mark. The full ninety minutes ticked away with the score remaining 5-0 to the very end.

BEDISTAN 5
S. Cardinal 3; J. Reinhardt 5, 6, 9; G. Washburn 12
SNUB NOSE 38 0
(no scorers)

Next Match
The Lions now come back home to face Raptor Claw, who famously held them to a 0-0 draw in the group stage of WC17. Bedistan will be looking to put them away this time.

* Snub Nose 38 officially withdrew from the competition after Matchday 2, but since said officials have not yet come to a decision as to how to replace the team, the match still took place.
Melmond
05-12-2004, 04:56
Makinshakes Presents...
The Ketchup Times
Now you can eat your fries and read the latest news around Melmond!

Wow...I Wonder How That Prediction Came True
After the prediction of a 2-nil Melmond victory came true, authorites searched the house of Wzkknfs Hynd Tribune sports reporter Pjsy RhIngg for illegal usable voodoo dice. They did find voodoo dice, but it was only of the edible kind. As for the match, it was a brisk day in Wzkknfs Hynd in the sold-out crowd of 50,024 in Bwnlqjd Kjngi. The Fearless Farmers had a hard time getting gelled together in the first half despite dominating it. Melmond had the ball 80% of the time, but their passes and shots were off target. Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm didn't have many shots to contend with due to the stellar play of the Melmond defence. The first half ended scoreless in front of a restless crowd. However in the second half, the Melmond attack came alive. At the 60th and 69th minute, Wzkknfs Hnyd native Tim Remans scored the two goals of the match, one by a header and one by a clean long strike. After the two goals were scored, Snhp Xtfuinxm was pulled in net in favor of another local, Fgtgt. He played solidly against Kipto-Mare, stopping everything that came his way, although he had to try harder than Xtfuinxm. Melmond gets the 2-nil victory as predicted over Kipto-Mare.

Imagine No Goals
You may think I am a dreamer if I told this to you about the upcoming matchup between Melmond and Lennon Marx would end into a scoreless tie, but apparently I'm not the only one. It appeared the 22 players on the pitch not only imagined it, but made it a reality. Both offences were utterly anemic, making really bad mistakes that were beneath both sides. It was an especially embarrassing performance for the Melmond attack, who was able to score nothing against the not so highly touted Lennon Marx side. Hopefully the next match in Cali, Melmond against Phazania will bring back an awakened Fearless Farmers side.

Phazania Can't Faze Melmond, Only Melmond Could Faze Themselves
It figures that in a gimme of a game that a team formerly known for tough heartbreak and disappointments would blow a match with an own goal against such easy competition. Unlike the match against Lennon Marx, Melmond was back in their home nation. The match in Anachronism Park in Cali wasn't quite a sellout, perhaps a reflection of not only the fact that Cali isn't that much of a sports city, but also of the Fearless Farmers underwhelming performance thus far. The match was scoreless until the 31st minute, until Melmond was awarded a free kick just outside the goalkeepers box. Melmond midfielder and captain Jake Cormier took the free kick, which he arced past the Phazania wall and the Phazanain goalkeeper. Melmond takes the 1-nil lead into half time. The second half it seemed the Phazania side was gaining some momentum, but whatever shots they were taking, Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm had no problem making the stop. Unfortunately, Xtfuinxm couldn't stop the feet of his own player. Phazanian midfielder Oscar Patu found striker Mario Anaus wide open. Melmond defender Notint Hecloset had to rush in order to kick the ball out of bounds for a corner kick. Unfortunately, his kick rocketed past Xtfuinxm instead and into the net for an embarrassing own goal as the match is tied 1-1 and will end that way as Melmond leaves this match in their home nation with a less than desired result against lowly Phazania.

Margaret To Do Endorsement Deal In Melmond
There has been two external folktales about upsets in terms of NationStates World Cup. Around Melmond, we like to blame voodoo dice on upsets. Voodoo dice used to cause upsets and lopsided scores all the time, but ever since the magicians of Melmond casted a spell which turned all voodoo dice into an edible treat, that explanation hasn't been used anymore. One explanation that is known worldwide is to blame it on Margaret, who has to do with the Snub Nose 38 FA for upsets and curses. It seems that Margaret is in full force in this World Cup. With the brilliant capitalizt mind of Melmond, they offered Margaret a lucrative deal to endorse edible voodoo dice. They plan a campaign reaching out to the underdogs in the world and feature moments of big upsets on their boxes. Margaret wasn't able for comment, but she has been seen hobnobbing along with Melmond striker Gene MacDougall.
Shonar Bangla
05-12-2004, 05:41
Murshidabad-- Perhaps the game was a little closer than Shonar Bangla expected, but a win is all that is necessary. The day began hot and steamy, with a crowd that rivalled that of the Snub Nose 38 game, although not as much vociferous. Eystrk seems to have seriously developed their game since their crushing victory over Big Pimiento. Even in the singing of the national anthem, the players from Eystrk showed more heart than the Bangalis, who should have sung with pride on their home soil.

The first half was dominated by Eystrk, who held the ball for 72% of the time, along with 2 goals. The first goal was scored due to a lapse in defence, in which two of the four defendors found themselves yards away from the ball. The second meanwhile, would be one of the best goals in the World Cup. Upon a corner kick, an Eystrk forward did the front-flip, to score a goal with his ankles.

If the first half was Eystrk, the second was for Shonar Bangla's. At the 46th minute, upon a perfect pass from right forward Deborjyoti Chakraborty, Murtaza Bhaimia scored. There of course, was a chance, that the pass would have ended up as a goal anyway. For the rest of the half, the Bangalis got close, but never close enough. As the minutes passed, the crowds thinned out. However, at the 81st minute, Huzefa Calcuttawala blocked a goal kick with great shock absorption on his crotch, letting the ball limp away into the goal. The Eystrk goal-keeper, awestruck by the daring of this boy, was too mesmerized to move. Huzefa needed to be taken out of the game. In the hospital, with great pain, his penis squirted some blood and other obscene liquids. However, a later ejaculation proved that no damage had been done to his sac nor had his fertility affected. The final goal was a same side goal. Under tremendous pressure from Bangali forwards, Eystrk defendor attempted a quick pass to the keeper, perhaps too quick, so quick that it scored the winner for Bangla in the 91st minute (injury time).

The team had no time for an after-game press conference, due to the flight due for Big Pimiento. Big Pimiento has impressed earlier in the competition, but its last two losses have come against teams Shonar Bangla just defeated, teams that had been written off by they themselves. Shonar Bangla seems to have rediscovered its form, they are expected to win, that is, if their last two performances weren't merely out-of-the-box type.

As per latest reports, the team has landed in Big Pimiento already. A good session of alcohol, sex, followed by a morning of harsh military drilling, should be the perfect and useful formula for a convincing victory tomorrow over the Big Pimiento team.
Jeruselem
05-12-2004, 07:12
Jeruselem Government News

The walls of Iansisle fall!

In a showdown of World Cup XIX, Jeruselem played Iansisle in a big game. Iansisle were winning games but were not scoring that many goals with it's defense the key to it's victories. Jeruselem were different, like Crystilakere who did have a very potent attack.

Well, Jeruselem rolled on and beat Iansisle 3-1 to show it's World Cup 18 form was not fluke. The usually steady defense which conceded only 4 goals in 5 games looked all at sea while the Jeruselem attack showed why it scored more goals than Crystilakere so far. Captain Himie Goldstein rallied the troops while Goerge Boosh was the bedrock of the Jeruselem defense. They were too quick, smart and fast for Iansisle on the day.

In other games, Crystilakere lost to Maserrat 3-0 in weird circumstances and Jeruselem management question how Crystilakere lost the game in the first place. Lethislavania drew 1-1 with Oceaice in a tight game and the Runaway Moose lost again, this time to 7JM. Runaway Moose is still the only team to have beaten Jeruselem so far but it is only one they have won.

Group 3
Jeruselem 3 - 1 Iansisle
:: Former Maserrat :: 3 - 0 Crystilakere
Lethislavania 1 - 1 Oceaice
Runaway Moose 0 - 3 7JM
Sarzonia
05-12-2004, 08:48
Stars even up vs. Slaves, 1-1

WOODSTOCK (ASP) -- The Sarzonian national team is getting used to this.

They played a tough match against the top seed and sixth-ranked Audioslavia and earned a 1-1 draw in front of 74,480 at Hendrix Stadium.

Forward Barry Alphonso hit a bicycle kick in the 79th minute to salvage the draw for the Stars after the Slaves jumped out to a 1-0 lead just 19 minutes in. The Slaves poured on intense pressure from the first half until about 15 minutes to go in the second half before the Stars finally hit their stride and put their own pressure on Audioslavia.

"We have to do a better job of holding serve," Coach Dave Wilson said. "When we have tough games against good teams, we have to win those. We'll eventually get that signature win that we've been looking for in the last few World Cups."

Goalkeeper Troy Perkins made six saves under the constant Slaves pressure, but he finally played a match worthy of Sarzonia's first choice keeper, turning away some difficult bids en route to the draw.

"I just had to play the best game of football I could," Perkins said. "Thank God Barry was there to keep us in the running for at least one [standings] point."

The draw keeps Sarzonia (4-1-1, 13 points) three points behind Audioslavia for the top spot in the group.

The Stars face a struggling The Lowland Clans side and hope to "bury the [heck] out of them," Wilson said.

"The more chances you have to prevent someone from being a factor, the better off you are," he said.
Iansisle
05-12-2004, 10:18
“What is optimism?” asked an Ians fan, eloquent after his fourth ale and gesturing wildly at the reports of a 3-1 defeat in Jerusalem, “but a recipe for sure and bitter disappointment?”

He then fell of his chair.
Audioslavia
05-12-2004, 15:35
“What is optimism?” ... “but a recipe for sure and bitter disappointment?”

He then fell of his chair.

Voltaire?

IC:

Star-Strangled Tanner
Karl Tanner breaks leg in 1-1 draw

When Karl Tanner limped off after a hefty challenge by Sarzonia's Mike Coyle there were few worried. Tanner had struggled with a cartliage injury all season and many thought that it was simply a reccurance of that problem. However, subsequent x-rays at a Sarzonia hospital revealed a fracture in the midfielder's tibia, and the WC17 star would most likely miss the rest of the season, putting him out of all of Audioslavia's qualification matches.

Talking yesterday, Tanner quite uncharacteristically had a cool head and refused to put the blame on Coyle. "It was a high ball and we both went for it" said the Raiden F.C. player. "He's the taller so he got their first, but as he did he knocked me off balance and i fell awkwardly. I didn't feel it at first but when it went numb afterwards i was a bit concerned, y'know"

The incident came after Sarzonia's spectacular equaliser on seventy-eight minutes. The Sarzonian league's top scorer Barry Alphonso recieved a cross from the right and pinged it towards the bottom corner with an overhead kick.

The goal had come after a strong spell of pressure from the Sarzonians, who had been the better of the two teams for most of the second half. The 'slaves had taken the lead in the nineteenth minute. Marriot had done a little bit of his trickery on the edge of the box and nipped round Emacio to get goal-side of the defence. His shot was straight at Perkins but rebounded off the goalkeeper's stomach and into the path of Jackie McLlroy who put the ball in the empty net.

FINAL SCORE
Sarzonia 1 (Alphonso 78)
Audioslavia 1 (McLlroy 19)
Rejistania
05-12-2004, 16:44
Win again Esth - SyLy's job still endangered

The Orange-Blues defeated Esth in Esth by a 3:1 scoreline. The Team managed to gain the second spot in qualifiers but despite that, the rejistanian coach Syku Lyku is most likely to be fired in this qualifying. The highly offensive tactics, the former striker prefers, are not liked by the fans and some of the ASR officials. Vice-president Syku Kansu said: "Yes, I do not agree with SyLy in many issues, despite that, I would support him if certain things didn't happen!" The KaMaRi Update believes that 'certain things' were the things which happened against Adam Island.

The Orange-Blues played a System Imdila against the esthis, who played a 5-4-1 System Jesejil themselves. Most of the match saw players in Orange and Blue attacking the Esthi defense and most of the time, their efforts had no success. That match was a reverse of normaly rejistani matches. No one was actually surprised when the Esthi scores in a way, you normally would expect by the Orange-Blues: <player> scored in a counter-attack. The Orange-Blues used mistakes in the esthi team/defense to score thrice. The first time Esth had to concede was in the 20th minute, when Sasijilvenku Dikelesinivetisaru converted a penalty kick after a rude foul on Kansu Lyku. Kansu Lyku had to leave the pitch and was replaced by Tuade Lue. The first half ended 1:1. SyLy decided to changed the tactic for a System Hangila in the first half. The match was even more offensive now. Salakerijasamenatira "Sa" Harakemindanutikejil and Jentu Minikse were able to increase the score and the match ended 3:1. But despite being ahead the fans cheered for the Esthi defense.

The result:
Esth 1 (<player> 11th)
Rejistania 3 (Dikelesinivetisaru 20th, Harakemindanutikejil 49th, Minikse 75th)
EL CID THE HERO
05-12-2004, 17:06
EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

top of the tree

El Cid the Hero 1 (Desaillty 68)
Kaze Progressa 0

With the lions now in their 6th game undefeated and their 5th win of the WC the lions can now go into the second week in the knowledge that they have impressed the world.

It was in the 68th min that Desaillty connected his head to the ball after a corner kick and and just push it into the net behind Progressa's keeper. 1-0 was the score and that is how it stayed.

The score however doesn’t tell the full story. Kaze Progressa dominated in both possession and shots. With El Cid lucky to get away with a clean sheet. Niemi had to make 13 good saves in the first half and 8 in the second. but Doomhammer and the team are in a boinet mood.

"of course i am happy, I’m over the moon." Doomhammer said afterwards. "We beat a top side and played well. Why would i not be happy".

with NEWI Cefn Druids left and the lions in form we can only hope that they can make it a full week of games unbeaten. can they do it?

READ AND YOU WILL FIND

MD1
EL CID THE HERO 2 - 0 Munchkinloopa

MD2
Sliponia 1 - 1 EL CID THE HERO

MD3
EL CID THE HERO 2 - 1 Legalese

MD4
Chonchland 0-2 EL CID THE HERO

MD5
The Weegies 2-5 EL CID THE HERO

MD6
EL CID THE HERO 0 - 1 Kaze Progressa

MD7
NEWI Cefn Druids v EL CID THE HERO
Starblaydia
05-12-2004, 18:22
One Day, Two Games, Three Conceded, Four Points, Five Goals For.
Starblaydia play Druida Twice on the same Day in crazy double-header.

The Starblaydi squad for the Druida match in the World Cup Qualifiers was somewhat shortened from their usual twenty-three as the five reserve players were off playing an AOCAF Match, against Druida, of all teams.

This must mark something of a record in International Football as the two Atlantian Oceania sides played each other twice on the same day. Their Senior sides met within hours of each other, allowing each team to get nicely fired-up for their own matches, while watching their team-mates battling their opponents.

First up, time-wise, came the match in the World Cup Qualifiers. Starblaydia travelled westward across the Bekk lake to face their friends and rivals on their own turf. Most of the match was a goal-drought, broken up by Eomer Hall's powerful drive into the box that squeezed past the fingertips of Trefor the 'Keeper.

That was largely it, it would seem, until the home crowd got behind their team and urged them forward. Onward came the Druids and Starblaydia were forced back into some heavy defense. Guylain N'Dumbu-Nsungu wasn't going to be ruffled as he sent on young Stelios Doukas for Forest Hill FC's Jose Tirado as Starblaydia played a flat three in midfield to contain the Druids. It was only under heavy Druid pressure that the second goal of the game came, though it was a second for Starblaydia.

As Druida pressed on, Starblaydia looked to counter, and did so perfectly. Eomer Hall used his height to clear a Druidan corner and Roberto Di Bradini raced away with the ball. He passed neatly to the centre circle as Starblaydia rushed forward in numbers. Naoki and Jakkinho both got a touch before laying it back to Geraint Evans who's right-foot shot flashed across the face of goal and went in off the far post. Two-Nil with ten minutes to go, and Starblaydia were doing their utmost to catch Squornshelous at the top of the table.

Somehow, though, Starblaydia managed to snatch a draw from the very jaws of victory.

Two minutes from time, Druida pulled one back with a sneakily-worked free kick that completely out-foxed the Starblaydi defence and left Markus Cragg yelling at his stunned defenders. Off came Eomer Hall for the Iskara Daii Centre-Back Jamie Majeed, as the Manager attempted to play five at the back, with three in midfield, one up and one just behind 'in the hole'. Something went wrong, however, as Starblaydia's plan to shut out the Druids for a few minutes certainly didn't work.

Five across the back has never been a good tactic for Starblaydia, and as per usual it din't work this time either. All it took was a clever through-ball from one of the Garths to the other and Starblaydia had been opened up like a tin of sardines, allowing the Garth the Striker to round Markus Cragg and slot the ball home.

Even at Two-Two Druida had a good chance to win the came, but Trefor the Striker's shot flew wide. This draw keeps both Druida and Starblaydia ahead of Krytenia, who lost to group-leaders Squornshelous, who have now extended their lead at the top.


19th World Cup Qualifiers:
Final Score from Druida:
Druida 2 - 2 Starblaydia
(Daffydd 88, Vincent 90) - (Hall 22, Evans 80)


The result of the AOCAF5 match, however, was much more pleasing for Starblaydi eyes. As the World Cup's Team Plane turned west for Druida, the AOCAF Team Plane vectored itself south-west for the Bekkside state of Legalese, once their landing permission had been accepted and found innocent by the Judge in Charge of Legalese Airspace.

Having blasted six goals past 'Futility Kings' Big Pimento in the first match, Starblaydia were looking for a second good performance, especially from their Captain, Simeone Di Bradini, who managed four of the six at Okerson Park.

SDB's Indian Summer continued as he sandwiched half-time between a brace of goals to earn Starblaydia a three-one win, slightly making up for the two-two draw in Druida earlier in the day. J.J. Stark's quick opener set the tone for a pacy, exciting match with ample oppurtunities at both ends.

Druida pulled one back after half an hour but when Julio Matis went down in the box over a clumsy Druidan challenge, up stepped Simeone Di Bradini to give Starblaydia a two-one lead at half time, his cheeky penalty chipped straight down the middle of the goal as the 'keeper threw himself to the left-hand side.

A sixth Di Bradini goal in two AOCAF games then prompted the Starblaydi fans to chant and ask SDB whether he was Rejistanian goalscoring hero Jenji Y in disguise, but he just smiled and declined to answer them. This barnstorming win keeps Starblaydia at the top of Group C and definitely in the running to retain their title. What odds on Simeone Di Bradini picking up the trophy at the end of the AOCAF? Not too bad, we think.


5th Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football:
Final Score from Legalese:
Druida 1 - 3 Starblaydia
(Michaels 33) - (Stark 13, Di Bradini 41pen & 55)
Vilita
05-12-2004, 22:39
|===== Matchday 7 Scores and Tables Available ======|
Lethislavania
05-12-2004, 23:12
Lethislavania Fighting Green

Terrevein stadium filled like a pool, large torrents of fans gushing in. White and green blared, their loud colours giving off a nationalistic furor. IT quickly grew, as voices murmured and the crowd began clapping. The Lethislavanian team quickly took the field, Thomas Boeing doing his now-traditional cartwheel across the field.

People talked. "I hear they are running a new offense today." Another one smiled, "I hear he's got a new girlfriend." [Obviously referring to Thomas].

Finally, after the anthem's were played, the fervent pride subsiding, the game began. Thomas Boeing shot upfield, grining, and passed it off to Cel. Cel spun around the J7M defense, utterly confusing the team. He then lofted it over to Kerry Twidler, who faced the left defender. Feinting, Kerry shot to the right and launched the ball, sending it flying over the J7M goalie.

Furious, the J7M offense struck back, as they flew in from all directions, blatenly bufflind the Lethislavanian defense. Their center forward shot up the middle, not defended, and lofted the ball, and watched as it curved over the head of Jorge. Jorge dropped to the ground, angry and sad. This was a miserable repeat of what had been happening all season.

Restarting, Cel Karra dribbled up the field quickly, looking for a shot. Bunched up by defenders, he dished it off to Twidler. Twidler angerily tried to keep the ball in her posession, then saw Thomas wide open. Drilling it, the ball flew over, where Thomas jumped up and hit it with his head, flinging it into the top-right corner of the J7M goal. Erupting, the green side began a motonous, but exited chant of "Boeing, Boeing" as he ran around the field, then hopped into the stands. Picking his wife up, he kissed her on the cheek and jumped back over the wall, ready to play again.

Cel was smart this time, picking the route going up the weak left side. Sliding through the legs of the left mid, the ball went to Twidler, who once again was faced with two interesting choices. The glory of a shot, or the guarunteed goal from Thomas. Choosing the latter, Twidler knocked it over to Thomas, who pulled off a brilliant long shot that came right behind the J7M goalie.

The rest of the game ended likewise, with Thomas scoring one more goal for the hat trick. J7M scored late, in the 89th minute, but it was not enough. The Fighting Green fought valiently today, their obnoxious but proud fans carrying them the whole way.
Starblaydia
05-12-2004, 23:16
Rimmer Eats Starblaydi Clean Sheet
Starblaydia look good at half-way point

'Ace' Rimmer was bustled out by a tough-looking Starblaydi defence who kept their fifth clean sheet in seven Qualification games. Roberto Di Bradini, Khim Azanulbizarn, Jean-Pierre Durand and Tommas Piper are all looking at the peak of their games, while Markus Cragg is nigh-on unbeatable, other than those two goals against Druida (the five against Squornshelous were Gavin Thornley's fault).

Left-winger Jose Tirado might finally be coming to fruition as he bagged his first goal for a while, perhaps this will kick-start a rich vein of form that has been sadly lacking. That means bad news, however, for young Nick Matranga as he tries to earn the same shirt.

Jakkinho, on the other hand, confirmed his place among Starblaydia's best as he took his tally to sixteen, as he becomes the latest player to eclipse Nikola "Laser" Lazerevski's tally of 15.

Starblaydia are now three points behind Squornshelous, but are three points ahead of World Cup 20 Co-Candidates Druida. Two points behind them sit Krytenia. A 5-1-1 record marks the best Starblaydia have managed in half a qualifying session. Now, if they can equal something like their eight game unbeaten streak to the end of the World Cup 18 Qualifiers, then we'll really have a show on our hands.


Final Score from Iota "Big Eye" Arena:
Starblaydia 2 - 0 Krytenia
(Tirado 38, Jakkinho 43) - (None)

Group 1 - The Halfway Mark
[1] Squornshelous 7 6 1 0 23-7 19
[2] Starblaydia 7 5 1 1 18-7 16
[3] Druida 7 4 1 2 15-9 13
4- Krytenia 7 3 2 2 16-11 11
5- Vorpal Bunnies 7 3 0 4 12-15 9
6- Dead Rockstars 7 2 2 3 14-17 8
7- Taokoualu 7 1 1 5 10-21 4
8- Lexmarak 7 0 0 7 2-23 0
Adam Island
05-12-2004, 23:37
Adam Island Wins Rematch, 1-0

ADAM CITY, EAST ISLAND- In today's match at The ADAMDOME, Adam Island defeated the hapless, winless team from Hiiraan 1-0. The game was marred by severe problems with the field, resulting in an injury to one of the officials.

The last time Adam Island faced Hiiraan, it was in Crystalikere's National Stadium in the group round of the Baptism of Fire for World Cup XIX. It was a do-or-die match for Hiiraan, and Adam Island won their fourth game in a row by defeating the Hiiraanians 2-1.

The groundskeepers had warned Sarzonian official Dave Walker, the head referee for the match, that the artificial grass was extremely soggy, and that there was a danger of the pipes placed only an inch below the surface poking out above the sunken turf and causing injury. Walker inspected the field before the match and allowed play to commence.

The game started out slow, with the players' movements hindered by the wet ground. They spent most of the first half kicking up muddy turf and slipping on the ground, staining their bright tan and blue jerseys. Midfielder Jeremiah Lipski accidently slipped in front of a Hiiranian forward Saleebaan Mahamed Xaashi, knocking him to the ground. Walker ran up and handed Lipski a Yellow Card, provoking outrage among the throngs of fans that had showed up to watch Adam Island protect its undefeated status at home.

Some fans began tossing empty drink cups onto the field, and as Walker walked around picking them up out of the way, he didn't see a pipe sticking slightly above the ground. He tripped over it and fell face-first, breaking his nose.

The match was paused for a few minutes while he was given some medical attention, and then continued with David Walker in an even worse mood that before. The ADAMDOME in Adam City is world-reknowned for its superior facilities, making the horrible field conditions puzzling. The Adam Island Football Organization ordered an investigation soon after the match.

The first half ended with both teams still scoreless, having trouble moving the soggy, heavy ball along the soggy, stinky turf. AI Manager Deidra Gowin mixed up the roster, switching to a 3-3-4 formation with Ted Coelho as the extra striker.

The sloppy play continued, frustrating the Adam Island players who are accustomed to dominating opponents who set foot in their home territory. Finally, in the 73d minute, Coelho got in a tussle with Hiiraan team captain Abdiqaadir Umar Ibraahim. He blocked Ibraahim from going after a loose kick, nearly leap-frogging the star defender.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v20/spartacus_007/Adam%20Island/overhiiraan.jpg
Coelho and Ibraahim fighting for the ball. Source: STAN

The defender locked up, Twila Novello pounced on the opportunity. She jumped behind the ball and shot it clear past the keeper, Kamaal Ali Umar, and into the net to put the Adam Islanders up one, nil.

The rest of the game continued on its sluggish pace, with no more shots on goal.

"Jeez, next time we play Hiiraan I'm going to bring a lounge chair to set up in the goal," said keeper Paco Naccarato who did not even touch the ball all game.

This win moved Adam Island into fifth place in Group 7 for the World Cup qualifiers, not a bad spot for a rookie team at the halfway mark. They are only one point away from the third place team, but because they would lose the tiebreaker, they are two points away from qualifying.

LAST GAME: AI 1, HIR 0
NEXT GAME: EAUZ (5-1-0) @ AI (3-0-3)
AI lost to Eauz 3-1 in the first game of this World Cup qualifier.
Kylaai
06-12-2004, 00:46
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kylaai.jpgThe Reformed Islands of Kylaai

Group 7--------- -
[1] Eauz 6 5 1 0 16-5 16
[2] Rejistania 6 3 1 2 16-12 10
[3] Kylaai 6 3 1 2 14-11 10
4- The Evil Umpire 6 3 0 3 12-8 9
5- Adam Island 6 3 0 3 8-10 9
6- Esth 6 2 1 3 10-11 7
7- Hiiraan 6 0 0 6 3-22 0


Kylaai to make World Cup Finals!!!!!!!

Kylaai are past champions of the Cup of Harmony but are ready to make to the first time the FINALS!!!!!!!!

Norada-Fell is amazing scoring goals Kylaai has 14 with impressive draw with top team in the group REJISTANIA!!!!!!!

Kylaai have lost twice unfortunately once to Eauz which is not so bad but it was fun to win 3 other matches! Well done Kylaai keep playing welll to make FINALS!!!!!!!!

Lineup

Goalkeeper: Mandoo Nania
Defenders: Lital Tirar, Hito Burrito, Vito Frito, Max
Midfielders: Rising Sun, Macala Moria, Tennence Fleiam, Norada-Fell
Attackers: Mazu Kazu, Vlanti Vimorta
Audioslavia
06-12-2004, 01:35
Lykaia Virgin, Torched For The Very First Time
'slaves and Lykaians first meeting ends in 'slavia win

Another narrow win sent Audioslavia six points clear at the top of group eight. If fourth-placed Slaiku achieve the same 3-1-3 record in the second half of the qualifying stage, then the 'slaves need just two points from the next seven games to go through.

The 'slaves made hard work of an impressive Lykaian team. Despite McLlroy's impressive headed opener on fifteen minutes and Marriot's penalty just before half time, Lykaia never gave up and had the better of the second half, coming close with a number of opportunities before finally equalising with a quarter of an hour to go through a Lanisfol header.

Audioslavia's defence held strong however, and the match stayed 2-1 at full time.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 2 (McLlroy 15 - Marriot 44)
Lykaia 1 (Lanisfol 77)

Group 8--------- -
[1] Audioslavia 7 6 1 0 17-4 19
[2] Sarzonia 7 4 1 2 14-8 13
[3] Lykaia 7 4 1 2 13-10 13
4- Slaikau 7 3 1 3 10-9 10
5- The Lowland Clans 7 3 0 4 8-8 9
6- Zvarinograd 7 3 0 4 11-17 9
7- Antixilian Fatwah 7 2 0 5 7-11 6
8- Middle March 7 1 0 6 7-20 3

At the half-way stage Audioslavia are cruising with six wins and one draw. Sarzonia and Lykaia are both vying for that second-place spot, with the Stars looking that little bit better. Slaiku are in a rather surprising fourth place, but even more surprising is The Lowland Clans form. They stay fifth with just nine points from seven games, having lost four and scored just eight goals. On the same points as them are Zvarinograd who have looked impressive, beating both Sarzonia and TLC as well as beating Middle March 4-2 away. Their 5-0 defeat to Audioslavia and their surprise 4-1 defeat to Antixillian Fatwah have been their only true blemishes. AF are right behind Zvarinograd, having launched themselves off of bottom spot with two straight wins against Zvarinograd and Middle March. The Marchers have a 1-0-6 record and are struggling, but they could just as easily be challenging the other un-ranked teams at the end of the season.

Group 1 seems to be going to plan with Squornshelous, Starblaydia and Druida all in the top three. Krytenia will definately be challenging the latter of the three for that final place though. Audioslavia's puppet nation Dead Rockstars are currently in sixth place on eight points. In group 2, Lee Branson-led Cockbill Street continue to struggle and are in fifth place. Oddslavo and Haperd are the suprise packages in that group with both well higher than would be expected. Svecia are also in trouble in fourth place, three points behind third.

Group 3 sees one of the comeback kids Runaway Moose in action, but the mooses are in no way in the shape of RM sides of old and are bottom on three points. Iansisle are in fourth behind a plucky Oceaice side and will have to step it up a gear to get ahead. Group 4 is as one would expect, the top three of LE, TnUI and Aquilliana are in first, second and third, just ahead of Wella who are struggling to keep up. Group 5 is an interesting one. Melmond, TEN and ORD were expected to be on top but FMJ Phoenix were expected to be closer to them. As it stands they are in fifth, two points behind Phazania. Lennon Marx are sixth, ahead of Kipto-Mare who have been going downhill in recent years.

Group 6 is probably the toughest group. Kaze Progressa got to the final of WC18 whilst NEWI got to the semis before that. They are, however, in third and fourth respectively behind a Weegies side enjoing a spurt of form, and the ever-improving EL CID THE HERO who having been rising up the respectablitly ranks for what seems an eon. After lots of expectation, Legalese are struggling and are well off the pace in sixth with just one point. Behind them is Sliponia, the second of the comeback kids. Like Runaway Moose, they are struggling to re-assimilate and won't be good enough to get to WC19.

With the exception of an exceptionally dissappointing Hiiraan side, group 7 is the closest yet. Eauz and Rejistania were expected to be in the top two, but Eauz's domination and Rejistania's two losses weren't expected and as it stands, Rejis could be one loss away from fifth or even sixth place. Vying for Rejis' second spot is Kylaai, who recently published confused reports about already qualifying, without realising there were still seven games to play. They lie a point ahead of The Evil Umpire who, as usual, are winning a few but losing a few and just out of qualification. Audioslavia's favourite-team-who-isn't-Audioslavia, Adam Island, are in fifth place just one point off second, their brilliant 2-1 win over Rejistania giving them a real boost. They'll have to sort their defence out if they plan on qualifying though. Esth are in sixth and are struggling along ahead of Hiiraan who are winless. A dissapointing effort considering many Audioslavian pundits expected them to at least trouble the top teams.

Group 9 sees 'brilliant one minute, hash and beans the next' side Raptor Claw in sixth and well off the pace. They are, however, doing better than Eystrck, who qualified for World Cup 18 but now seem to have replaced their footballers with cows. Many pundits got excited about Shonar Bangla before the cup and they have done well, being as they are in joint-fourth placed. However, the completely unknown Hammerund are third on ten points, well behind the expected top-two of Lovisa and Bedistan.

The final group would have been the group of death if this had been an earlier world cup, but Giant Zucchini aren't the side they were before and are really struggling as the third of the 'comeback kids'. Nastic are also past their sell-by date as a competitive side and are seventh, two points behind Oaker, another struggling team who used to do well. Piqantrax are giving Tadjikistan a run for their money in joint fourth, whilst Vilita and Dance 2 Revolution are in their expected top two positions. Finrods are the suprise package of this group, being as they are in third place.
Eauz
06-12-2004, 03:09
Le LIBRE

E is for Equality

Les Bleus were hoping to finish off the last match day of the first half with a victory, but they had to deal with it in Esth. Les Bleus were at a bit of a disadvantage though as Alia was out with a 1 game suspension, Vasser was shook up a bit and wouldn’t be able to play until at least match day 10 and Devereux was sick that day. Les Bleus despite this, still had the advantage of a 3 – 0 victory over Esth the last time they met. Arriving at the stadium, fans were packing the stadium to see the one great Eauz team. They could see that Les Bleus were back to their old days and were hoping to see an upset.

The match started, and fans were surprised not to see the same Eauz team that has been playing so well up to this match. Les Bleus despite being weaker were off to the offence, as Eric Piquno, a forward to replaced Vasser, showed off his talent and sent a pass towards Rousseau, who kicked it as soon as he received it. The ball went over the crossbar. The Esth keeper sent the ball back down field, but D'Aubigne headed it back to the Esth zone, where Rousseau and Bernard Laudri, the replacement for Alia were looking to get something started again. While Laudri held the ball, he waited for the other Eauz players to come back, and passed it off to D’Aubigne, who sent the ball to the front of the net. Rousseau found an opening in the defence and put a goal past the keeper, giving Les Bleus a 1 – 0 lead in the 10th minute of play. The match continued, but the match and the excitement slowed down, as both teams became a bit more defensive. Esth though, around the 30th minute of play found their offence. Added with the fact that Devereux was out and the defence was weak, an Esth player got a shot off. Rousoi dove and blocked the ball, but due to the strength of the shot, he couldn’t hold on to it, and the Esth attacker knocked the ball into the empty net, tying the match up a 1 – 1 during the 37th minute of play. Les Bleus responded after that goal, as they attacked for the next 3 minutes of play. During the 40th minute of play, as a long shot was taken, it was blocked by the hands of the Esth keeper, but it went up in the air. Laudri jumped up in the air and fought for the ball. Laudri headed the ball, which went into the net, uncontested. The first half would end at 2 – 1 for Les Bleus.

Fans were excited up to this point to see their team doing so well in a match against Eauz. Despite being down 2 – 1, they knew that even to lose by this was a greater improvement from the 3 – 0 loss to Les Bleus. The second half started with Esth in control of the ball early. Long passes and pressing seemed to be the strategy for Esth in this second half. A few chances early in the match for Esth, saw one-shot go off the crossbar, and another one, which almost went in, but was blocked by Daintan, and kicked to the centre of the field. It had seemed as if the two teams had switched spots, as Esth was the stronger of the two in the second half. During the 56th minute of play a free kick by Esth was taken, which went over the human wall, and almost curved into the net, but it just missed it, and went out of play. In the 2nd half, Esth got off 13 shots in total, compared to 4 by Les Bleus. During injury time of the second half, Les Bleus were on the defence again, as Esth was putting on a final attack hoping to get out of the match with a tie. A Esth player got in the open with the ball and took a shot, which went over the head of Rousoi and into the back of the net, giving Esth the 2 – 2 tie with only 30 seconds left to play. Eauz fans were shocked and Esth fans went crazy, as they saw the incredible thing, which occurred. The match finished at 2 – 2, and gave both teams 1 point. Les Bleus though felt as if they got robbed of the 3 points. The coach was upset, but was not sure what he could have done, as 3 of his key players were out of the match. He blamed the loss on the team and its attitude or lack of.

With the tie, Les Bleus finished the first half off with a record of 6 – 1 – 0, but they found out from the World cup officials that the victory they had against Villapange is no longer being counted, and Les Bleus would finish with a 5 – 1 – 0 record. The reason for this is that Villapange withdrew from the cup, and thus the officials had to eliminate all matches that team in group 7 played with Villapange. Thus, for those who are looking at the standings, Les Bleus would usually have 19 points, but dropped down to 16. Despite this, Les Bleus are still hoping to continue their wonderful run in the cup. As for the next match for Les Bleus, they will be playing against surprise team, Adam Island who has seemed to improving since the last meeting between these two teams. Adam Island pulled off a 2 – 1 victory over the reigning champions, who have not been looking like the champions lately. This will be a tough match, especially since the match is being played in Adam Island, where it is expected that the stadium in AI will be packed with AI supporters to watch Les Bleus play. A victory by AI could put AI up to 2nd place, but Les Bleus are hoping to have back Alia and Devereux, who were unable to play in the last match. Les Bleus though will be taking this match seriously, as they do not want to face the same fate that Rejistania faced against AI.

In other news, the Kylaai newspaper had reported that their team had qualified for the world cup, but Le Libre would like to tell Kylaai that they only finished the first half of the qualifying round.

Schedule

*Matches in Gray will not count or be played

Match Day 1: Adam Island @ Eauz W 1 - 3
Match Day 2: Eauz @ Hiiraan W 4 - 0
Match Day 3: Villapange @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Match Day 4: Eauz @ The Evil Umpire W 1 - 0
Match Day 5: Eauz @ Rejistania W 3 - 2
Match Day 6: Kylaai @ Eauz W 0 - 3
Match Day 7: Eauz @ Esth T 2 - 2

Match Day 8: Eauz @ Adam Island
Match Day 9: Hiiraan @ Eauz
Match Day 10: Eauz @ Villapange (No Match)
Match Day 11: The Evil Umpire @ Eauz
Match Day 12: Rejistania @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz @ Kylaai
Match Day 14: Esth @ Eauz


Group 7 GP W T L GF GA P
[1] Eauz 6 5 1 0 16-5 16
[2] Rejistania 6 3 1 2 16-12 10
[3] Kylaai 6 3 1 2 14-11 10
4- The Evil Umpire 6 3 0 3 12-8 9
5- Adam Island 6 3 0 3 8-10 9
6- Esth 6 2 1 3 10-11 7
7- Hiiraan 6 0 0 6 3-22 0
Melmond
06-12-2004, 05:46
Makinshakes Presents...
The Ketchup Times
Now you can eat your fries and read the latest news around Melmond!

Boomshakalaka!
After a rather lackluster beginning to their World Cup 19 qualification campaign, only managing 5 points from the three lackluster sides of the group with two of the matches being in their home stadium, many Melmondians wondered what happened to the talent and promise of this side. Well it appears they saved all of it for this match against Fmjphoenix. Fmjphoenix was considered by many to be the darkhorse of Group 5 as they are a very dedicated up and coming side. They appeared to be very game for an upset over Melmond in front of their countrypeople. Unfortunately for them, the Fearless Farmers had other plans. During the first five minutes of the match, Fmjphoenix played like the dangerous upstarts they were touted to be, but after an offensive flurry was absolutely stuffed by the immaculate play of Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm. The Fmjphoenix side just seemed dumbfounded, as if shocked that nothing happened for their side. The Fearless Farmers then took the opportunity to knock the stunned Fmjphoenix side flat on their backs. The midfield was able to string some passes to find a wide open Melmond striker Gene MacDougall and Melmond takes the 1-nil lead at the 7th minute. But Melmond wasn't done yet, not even close. After the kickoff was taken by Fmjphoenix, Melmond midfielder Jake Cormier muscled the ball from the Fmjphoenix player, found midfielder Alfred Smith, who made an absolutely brilliant cross which was headed in by Gene MacDougall for his second goal in as many minutes. Two goals in two minutes for MacDougall and Melmond has the 2-nil lead. A minute later, it became three-nil as Melmond striker Tim Remans was fouled within the penalty box and was able to convert the kick. The Fearless Farmers were really pouring it on the downtrotten Fmjphoenix squad as if they had something to prove, and perhaps they did. Whatever that thing they need proving was, they certainly have done it. Melmond striker Gene MacDougall scored two more goals by the end of the first half, both off of corners, one being a header and one collecting the rebound from a saved header opportunity from fellow striker Tim Remans. Melmond had an amazing 5-nil lead over the paper tigers of Fmjphoenix. The second half wasn't nearly as explosive as the first, but it was just as dominant for the Fearless Farmers. The Fearless Farmers midfield was a fortress in itself as very few Fmjphoenix attack efforts got through the midfield nevermind the defence. Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm wasn't a very busy man, only needing to stop one Fmjphoenix shot the entire second half. Melmond had possession of the ball 80% of the time, but didn't convert anything until the 80th minute oddly enough as Melmond striker Gene MacDougall put the exclamation point in the match, getting his fifth goal of the match with a ridiculously easy breakaway goal. The match ended in a surprising 6-nil rout in favor of the Fearless Farmers. Such a performance really proved that Melmond may not only have a chance to qualify, but a chance to win the entire cup as well.

Just Plain Boom!
The much anticipated first ever match between The Eagles Nest and Melmond ended with a loud thud for both sides, especially The Eagles Nest. The Eagles Nest and Melmond have had quite a history between each other without ever playing each other once, with the Horace fiasco almost 20 years ago as well as Melmond proclaiming the Eagles Nest the model for their international footballing blueprint. After a goal by Siggy Secour of the Eagles Nest, a loud boom was heard throughout the entire capital of The Eagles Nest. A large explosion rumoured to be created by Horace's famous flatulence had created a giant forty foot crater in the middle of Silver Flame Stadium. Four players for The Eagles Nest were taken to the hospital for bruises and a broken pinky. Melmond seemed eager to play again while The Eagles Nest was a little hestitant. The referee considered the pitch unplayable and awarded a 5-1 walkover victory over The Eagles Nest. Despite the lopsided score, the match was less than desired for the Fearless Farmers who felt like they really could prove that they can dominate The Eagles Nest, but never really had the chance. Hopefully no calmaties will happen when these two sides will meet at the Melmond Bowl in Melmond City. The Melmond FA is now helping The Eagles Nest raise money for the repair of Silver Flame Stadium.

Just a Plain Bust!
Well, the Fearless Farmers went to Spaam and came out with a 2-2 draw. However, we are not going to tell you about the match after it was announced that it will not count in the standings after some internal strife within the nation of Spaam forced them to drop out of the World Cup. So basically the match meant absolutely zero, but its nice for the ego of Snhp Xtfuinxm at least as he only has officially given up 2 goals thus far during qualifying instead of four. We express our apologies to the people of Aldi who will not get to see their Fearless Farmers play in qualifying action. All the tickets purchased will be refunded in full and those who have bought tickets will also get a chance to purchase half-price tickets for a Melmond National Team v. MPL All-Stars exhibition match at the Microcosm Football Collossuseum.

One Measly Point Against One Red Dot
The first ever meeting between Melmond and One Red Dot was certainly a wild affair in many ways. First, the atmosphere at Makinshakes Stadium in the city of O'Connor was wild and very enthusiastic, as the Fearless Farmers were taking on the team nearest to them in the standings in the fight to be on top of the qualifying group. Also, the weather was rather wild, as it was beautifully sunny one minute, and downpouring rain under an almost pitch black sky the next. What also was wild were the players tempers. The Wolves of One Red Dot started the rough match with a late sliding tackle on Melmond midfielder Pauline Hulme, in which One Red Dot defender Dan Trevor was awarded a yellow card and Melmond was awarded a free kick, which was eventually blocked by the One Red Dot wall and cleared away. Melmond would get a booking of their own as Melmond defender Veronica Dean tried to get away with an accidental looking smack to the face to One Red Dot striker Allen Bellmoor. The backhand to the face wasn't much, but warranted a yellow card to be put upon Veronica Dean. One Red Dot also failed their free kick attempt, with the shot being easily stopped by Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm. Unfortunately, the penalty problems would continue to happen for Melmond, this time they get a big loss as Melmond striker Gene MacDougall was given the red card and the heave ho for grabbing the hair of One Red Dot defender Yukita Kentaro trying to get position for a header. One Red Dot took advantage of having more players on the field, eventually making a breakthrough during injury time as Paul Brack got the ball past Xtfuinxm to give One Red Dot the 1-nil lead at the end of the first half. Unfortunately, One Red Dot wouldn't be able to take advantage of the one player advantage as One Red Dot midfielder Chin-Tai Yan makes a needlessly high tackle on Melmond midfielder and captain Jake Cormier putting him in a world of hurt. Yan was given a red card and was out of the game. Cormier was out of the match as well as Melmond needed to make an injury substitution. Both sides were down to ten players, but Melmond was without its best player in Jake Cormier. One can tell that the Fearless Farmers were getting a little panicky after losing Cormier. Trying to defend, Melmond midfielder Peeko Noodleschlausen shoved One Red Dot midfielder Archer Terkitman down slightly which earned Noodleschlausen a yellow card. Fortunately, Noodleschlausen would redeem himself scoring the equaliser by putting away a shot by Melmond striker Tim Remans which hit the woodwork. Melmond would get one point against One Red Dot, and since the Spaam matches were considered null and void, Melmond has the lead in Group 5 by goal differential at the halfway point.
Big Pimento
06-12-2004, 07:02
Shonar Bangers
Pimentos Walk All Over Banglans in Record Setting Match

Big Pimento had been slipping in the standings and showing the world why exactly they earned the name “Futility Kings”. All chances at World Cup Qualification appeared to be lost.

Fast forward a day. Big Pimento thrashes the team ahead of the in the standings 7-1. Big Pimento now has a pulse.

If Big Pimento were panning for goals, they just hit the mother load, as they were able to pump seven past Shonar Bangla today, nearly doubling the previous national record of four. Selecao, Andrei Kristakovichlalinski Jr., and Boris Valentine all the found the net once, but the real hero of this match was Bong Jong-Il who wasn’t merely content with a hat trick, but decided to do one better and call it a match with four goals to his name.

Looking in the vault of hits from the Bong, Jong-Il scored his first to open up the scoring in the eighth minute, when Rufus “Red” Southgate showed a rare turn of skill and threaded the needle between two players, allowing Jong-Il to collect the ball and smash it towards the far post. Jong-Il added his second shortly after in the 11th minute, after Banglan defender Mallik fanned on a clearing attempt, allowing Jong-Il to collect the ball and slide it past the keeper. Then, in the 39th Minute, Jong-Il completed his hat trick on a brilliant strike from just outside the box. His hard, curling effort left goalkeeper Banjeree swatting at air. In the 55th Minute the first half was over, but Jong-Il’s reign of terror certainly wasn’t. A clever passing play with Boris Valentine left the Shonar Banglan defence fooled and Jong-Il with a simple tap-in on the doorstep of the goal. At this point, Big Pimento were up 5-0, and Andrei Kristakovichlalinski Jr. was soon after substituted for Jong-Il.

This clutch win now means that Big Pimento sit in fourth place, just three points out of third with half of qualifying done. Bedistan and Lovisa appear to be running away with the group with 13 and 15 points respectively, however, in third place sits a non-RPing n00b with Hammerund. It was hammer time the first time Big Pimento played Hammerund, losing to them 1-0, but Hammerund is definitely a beatable team for the Pimentos. If the Futility Kings get hot and the hammer comes down on Hammerund, they’re definitely in sight. However, if Hammerund proves they’re no fluke and continue their strong play, they’ll be singing “Can’t Touch This” all the way to the finals. The Pimentos will have to start to turn it on next match as they face Bedistan. The Lions will have revenge on their mind as they were held to a single point in the first leg, so expect nothing to come easy for the Futility Kings.
One Red Dot
06-12-2004, 09:34
Writing to give more updates STOP
Our match against The Eagle's Nest was a great upset STOP
We actually had one goal STOP
And ended with a clean sheet STOP
We still can't believe we won STOP
But overconfidence got the better of us STOP
We drew Melmond 1-1 STOP
It's halfway through the qualifiers STOP
And we are second to Melmond by a GD of 8 STOP
Our match against Spaam was annulled STOP
By a certain rule 21 STOP
So there goes a 3-1 win STOP
We could have been first in the tables STOP
Attached are some statistics at the halfway point STOP

WC19 Grp5 P W D L F-A T
1. Melmond 6 3 3 0 15-3 12
2. One Red Dot 6 3 3 0 9-5 12
3. The Eagle's Nest 6 3 1 2 15-10 10
4. Phazania 6 2 3 1 8-9 9
5. Fmjphoenix 6 2 1 3 11-13 7
6. Lennon Marx 6 0 3 3 2-10 3
7. Kipto-Mare 6 1 0 5 3-13 3

ORD WC Stats by aSWORD (Association for the Sports World of ORD) STOP

WC WC12 WC13 WC14 WC15 WC16 WC17 WC18 WC19
Matches 14 21 22 21 13 18 17 6

W 8 12 16 12 5 9 7 3
D 4 3 4 4 2 2 5 3
L 2 6 2 5 6 7 5 0

GF 27 27 45 41 18 28 27 9
Mean GF 1.93 1.29 2.05 1.95 1.38 1.56 1.59 1.50
GA 11 12 19 26 16 26 15 5
Mean GA 0.79 0.57 0.82 1.24 1.23 1.44 0.88 0.83
GD +16 +15 +26 +15 +2 +2 +12 +4
Mean GD +1.14 +0.89 +1.18 +0.71 0.15 0.11 0.71 +0.67

ACCUMULATED STATISTICS
Matches 117 138 160 181 194 212 229 235

W 62 74 90 102 107 116 123 126
D 28 31 35 39 41 43 48 51
L 27 33 35 40 46 53 58 58

GF 204 231 276 317 335 363 390 399
Mean GF 1.74 1.67 1.73 1.75 1.73 1.71 1.70 1.70
GA 118 130 149 175 191 217 232 237
Mean GA 1.01 0.94 0.93 0.97 0.98 1.02 1.01 1.01
GD +86 +101 +127 +142 +144 +146 +158 +162
Mean GD +0.74 0.73 0.79 +0.78 +0.78 +0.69 +0.69 +0.69

RANK
Mean Opp. 39.67 28.57 30.11 36.38 57.30 48.33 50.81 54.00
Highest Opp. 15 5 2 8 21 2 7 7
Lowest Opp. 74 53 71 115 90 130 122 112

Pre-Cup 11 28 29 22 17 23 26 26
Standardised -0.93 -0.03 -0.05 -0.20 -1.02 -0.63 -0.59 -0.57

World Cup 4 to 11 statistics have been truncated to accommodate newer records STOP
*Rounding-ups/downs may cause calculative errors in the table STOP
**The more negative the ‘Standardised’ value, the better STOP
Giant Zucchini
06-12-2004, 11:42
Zucchini Resurrection:
Episode 6: Torture Garden

Finally, the Zucchinis have won, a 2-1 victory over Nastic. Goals by Kryff and Gominsha were overshadowed by the Zucchinis’ newfound defensive prowess, limiting Nastic to 4 chances throughout the match and only conceding 1 goal in the 73rd minute. We ask Head Coach Mr Tolar on his team’s defensive revival.

Mr Tolar: “It is very simple. After conceding 9 goals in the last 2 games, I decided that I needed to do something about the defence. So I called all my defenders and goalkeepers in, and forced them to listen to ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ for half an hour while facing a 20 person line dancing troupe. Even I am amazed at its effectiveness.”

However, Dance 2 Revolution, who will be traveling to Giant Zucchini for their next qualifying match, is not impressed. “You have just won the right to taste my dust. I will turn your hello-comeback into goodbye forever.”


------------------------TO BE CONTINUED------------------------

The Green Ripper strikes back at:
Escape to Slavery
Alien Resurrection
Manchester United vs Arsenal
The Matrix
Digital Fortress
Great Expectations
Ocean’s Eleven
Kevin Keegan
Thierry Henry
Torture Garden
The Jerusalem Torture Document
Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo
Druida
06-12-2004, 12:39
The Tribune Tribune
Serving Druid Tribune and the surrounding area

REFEREE BLASTED AS RAINBOWS LOSE
Trefor Blackmore on Squornshelous 3 Druida 1

Druida were left struggling to hold on to a World Cup qualifying spot last night as their campaign reached the half way stage. A second defeat in the group, this time to Squornshelous, has left the rainbows within striking distance of fourth placed Krytenia, who are now just two points behing the rainbows.

It was another disappointing performance by Druida, though it started off so well. Garth Vincent scored after only three minutes, as the pschychoes defence seemed angry that referee Trevor Seacombe didn't give them a blatant free kick.

Of course, Seacombe is from NEWI Cefn Druids, a nation neigbouring, but not particularly favouring, Druida. Before the match, there were complaints from both parties that Seacombe should never have been appointed. Squornshelous were angry that the referee be from a nation that, until recently, ruled over their opponents. Meanwhile, Druida were angry that a referee from a nation where their government despise the regime shouldn't be allowed to referee.

However, in the end, Seacombe could have been from anywhere. His poor decisions seemed to anger both teams equally throughout the game. Well, I say his poor decisions, it would probably be more correct if I said his lack of decisions. Yes, in the entire match, not one foul was committed. Not that there was no foul play, mind. But as the players discovered just how lenient the Druidish referee was, the more they felt they could get away with.

It was more like a game of rugby, the way the players kept picking up the ball without the referee giving two hoots about what was going on. During this farce of a game, the pschychoes put the ball into the rainbows' net on three occassions. Of course, the lack of decisions by Seacombe also went as far as that he only blew for half time after three hours. By this time, much of the crowd had gone home, and the players had nothing more to give.

After the game, as he was leaving the stadium, we interviewed Seacombe. Smelling strongly of cannabis, Secombe said, "We played for three hours? It didn't feel like that long, but by the end, I just felt like, y'know, yeah."

Meanwhile, Druida manager Trevor Kallins thought that, despite the chaos, the game was highly entertaining. "I've never seen anything like that before," he told us, "and I probably never will!"

He added, "In the end, I don't think it really mattered where the referee was from. He was probably so stoned that he couldn't tell one side from the other."

Final score:
Squornshelous 3 [Delmore 31, Raskolnikov 90, J. Arnesson 153]
Druida 1 [Vincent 3]

Meanwhile, Seacombe's nation and Druidan rivals NEWI Cefn Druids have hit a bit of a bad streak. They have lost three on the bounce, to Kaze Progressa, The Weegies and EL CID THE HERO. Of course, after the upcoming national presidential election in NEWI Cefn Druids, we could well become allies with them, and, if the Druida party win, we would go on to merge with them. But that's all for the future. For now, it'll be fun if we make it to the finals and they don't, but there's still a long way to go.
Jeruselem
06-12-2004, 13:52
Jeruselem Government News

Crystals smashed by the sword of God

It was Jeruselem vs Crystilakere, the best teams in Group 3 by far. Most punters had put money on Crystilakere to ended the reign of the soccer team from land of King David in a close game. Jeruselem were confident as well as Crystilakere with the best defense and attacks each.

No seemed interested in the other game as the giants of Group 3 went to battle. Crystilakere dominated early to lead 1-0 as they tried to score past the Goerge Boosh and his merry men as well the Adrian Moel the keeper. The second half was very different. Like King David and the Jews, they ransacked and destroyed Crystilakere defense. As if the heavens were on Jeruselem's side, they scored 4 goals in 20 minutes to end the game. It was an unexpected route, and no more will people say Jeruselem are weak when it counts. Oddly Abrams (Abraham) and Jesus scored a goal each.

Jeruselem and Crystilakere are 5 points clear of the 3rd placed team.

The Jeruselem coach David Becks said to the press "Anyone seen my Billy Ray Cyrus CD? That's right, the Giant Zucchini need it for some relaxation or was it for something more sinister? Now what was that stupid song again ..."

In other games, Oceaice had enough ammo to shoot down a Runaway Moose 3-2 and Lethislavania continued their hot streak to defeat a disappointing 7JM 4-2. Iansisle had the bye as Maserrat team disappeared into the darkness and the results of their games wiped from the face this planet for World Cup 19.

Group 3
Crystilakere 1 - 4 Jeruselem (Al Kadir Khidar 2, Jesus Jones, Abrams Skoko)
Oceaice 3 - 2 Runaway Moose
7JM 2 - 4 Lethislavania
Bye: Iansisle

OOC

Giant Zucchini ... love it! Achy breaky heart therapy works.
Sarzonia
06-12-2004, 15:56
Stars can't get over hump, lose 3-2

No matter how much motivation the Sarzonian national team had for their away match to The Lowland Clans, no matter how good forward Brian Wilson looked in snapping out of his goalscoring slump with two goals, and no matter how acrobatic Troy Perkins was in making eight saves, the Stars still fell one goal short, losing 3-2.

"This is the first time in a long time that we gave our best effort and it just fell short," Coach Dave Wilson said. "There are times when you give everything you've got and you just fall short. This was one of those times."

The Stars (4-1-2, tied for second, Group 8) traded goals with the higher ranked, but underachieving, opponents in the first half, with Wilson snapping a prolonged goalscoring drought in the 17th minute with a laser shot after a Darwin Russell shot rebounded off the goalkeeper to put the Stars ahead 1-0.

"I just shot it," Brian Wilson said. "I don't worry about streaks like that if the team's winning and we were winning games."

The Clans answered back nine minutes later after defender Mike Coyle took down the opposing team's top striker for a penalty kick. Perkins had no chance to stop the penalty and the teams went into the locker room drawn 1-1.

The teams again traded goals in the second half, but it was the Lowland Clans who struck first, getting a direct free kick to bend just past a leaping Perkins into the top right corner of the net for a 2-1 The Lowland Clans lead in the 63rd minute. Wilson answered 11 minutes later with a header off a Bobby Convey corner kick to draw the match level 2-2 and the Stars made a defensive substitution to try to hold on for the point.

However, the Clans had one more answer. They worked a counter attack to perfection and beat Perkins top shelf with a shot in the 86th minute that suddenly forced the Stars into attack mode. When the final whistle sounded, the sullen Stars hung their heads dejectedly.

"We can't let the throttle up no matter who we're facing," Dave Wilson said. "That's the biggest lesson we're going to have to learn."

With the first half of qualifying in the books, the Stars are in a favorable position to clinch one of the three spots in the World Cup finals, three points clear of fourth place Slaikau. With Audioslavia defeating Lykaia 2-1, the Stars remain ahead of Lykaia on goal differential, but are six points behind the Slaves for first place in the group.
Vilita
06-12-2004, 16:07
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif

My Stomach is Churning

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
Vilita Goalscorers::
53' Callum Banda
71' Serge DuPont
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

------------------- It was real early one Vilitan morning when the ruler of the Vilitan Empire arose from a sleep he did not wont. He arose to find he was hungry, and food is what he sought. With many important nation ruling things to do, he chose to cast them aside. He sat at his laptop, stared at the screen and let his fingers go for a ride.

A note in his guestbook and some wins on the board, a 23 game unbeaten streak, could not be ignored. The opponent was Oaker, had we met them before? If only it was Friday and he could head for the shore. It doesn't even matter, not one little bit. For the most part it's pointless, he doesnt give a ----. But somehow he returns day after day. He types his little articles and then throws them away.

When will it end? When will he give in? Will it be sometime soon, or in a cup yet to begin? The Sharks faught fiercly, but the Cats were too strong. The result was a good one, but the post was too long. Did anybody even read it? He thought for a little bit. I've just wasted another half hour, and the RP bonus is ----.


Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Ricky Ezis
Worst Player: Santo Kecker
Shots on Target: 4
Corner Kicks: 3


http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif
Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Sibusiso Azaïez, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [D] Ricky Ezis, [DMC] Jürgen Ramzi, [ML] Umberto Melli, [MC] Jacques Vintila, [MC] Inaki Soler, [MR] Santo Kecker, [FC] Serge DuPont, [FC] Callum Banda,
BENCH::
[FC] Lai Ncube, [FC] Germán Salomón, [M] Marasent Sioane, [M] Tanner Nerni, [U] Andrea Lamberti, [D] Petros Alfieri, [GK] Alioum Mané,

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Jacques Vintila >>> Germán Salomón
(45) - Sibusiso Azaïez >>> Tanner Nerni
Cockbill Street
06-12-2004, 19:10
Street Take Three Points From Close Games
Qualification? What's that?

Still four points off the pace but with some momentum, the Streetians have seen some improvements over the past couple of games, without really looking a side that should establish themselves at the top level in the World Cup. Over two matches, the Streetians took three important points, although one thinks they would have preferred to reverse the order.

Svecia were first up - a team that has bags of talent but has shown little of it so far in the qualifying, and desperately needed three points to stay in the running. They had lost a number of key games before this one and desperately needed the victory - very similar to the Streeters, in fact.

As such, the game was one between two sides who fought for everything - as has been the norm under the Branson regime. None of the passing play that so often turned to disaster as the central defenders gave away the ball idiotically - however, this generation of Streetian players are not used to the high speed which is needed to play this kind of game, and so tire way too often. That cursed the team today - they were pegged back early to a goal from Belagt, fought their way back thanks to a tackle on thirty metres followed by a nice dribble and finishing shot from Rhianna Peters, and a 2-1 tap-in from Olaf Heimfoething.

But after that, the team fell apart. Struggling to put the tackles in at the right time, knowing that they led, the Streetians slowly subsided into their own half, and Svecia earned two goals in the second half - it should have been more, but a good James Underwood in goal saved a couple of crucial chances. The Streetians left disillusioned, as they saw Oddslavo and Haperd run away in the table, along with Svecia who were now four points ahead.

Cockbill Street then travelled to Commerce Heights, who had gone 5-0-0 before inexplicably losing 2-3 to Oddslavo and now desperately wanting the victory. However, Lee Branson made just the one change - amazingly - Sarah Cawdron finally coming back in for Nickel-carbide, who hasn't impressed a great deal, and Branson figured he needed Cawdron's defensive strengths.

That wasn't the only reason for the win - which was, admittedly, very lucky, three goals in the first half coming off three shots as the Capitalizt keeper, Trump, made a right fool of himself. However, the Capitalizts were not to be detained, and it had to be said that Underwood played another brilliant match between the posts of the Street. Still, he conceded two goals - one to Friedman from six yards that there was absolutely no hope in saving, and one to Smith as he dribbled past three opponents before chipping it arrogantly over a helpless Underwood. Apart from that, he saved ten shots, and excelled - something which, sadly, has not been a quality of Streetian goalkeepers of late.

With the Streetians still four points adrift, they have everything in their own hands at the moment. If they can beat Oddslavo and Haperd, that will mean that they'll pass at least one, maybe two of those teams in the table, and a surprise victory over Commerce Heights or Svecia again might just swing it. At the moment, however, the key has to be not to give away points at teams like The Immaculate Youth, Nonesuch Street or Huahin. Those five points could have seen Cockbill Street joint top of the table. Instead, they are fifth, but hopes are still up in the Streetian camp. Lee Branson himself told us that he was "confident that the team could catch the teams at the top, there's 21 points still to play for, and after all, Oddslavo and Haperd - we should beat those guys nine times out of ten."

Cockbill Street 2 (Peters 20, Heimfoething 32)
Svecia 3 (Belagt 11, 79, Frisk 57)

COCKBILL STREET
Underwood Substitutions:
(6) Cawdron (6) for Nickel-carbide 54'
Joyce Galena Dwarfclobberer Walker Stronginthearm for Joyce 72'
(7) (5) (6) (6) Wharton for Stubbings 80'
Keegan Stewart Heimfoething Nickel-carbide Booking: Keegan
(5) (5) (6) (4)
Peters Stubbings
(4) (5)
-----------------------------------------------------------
Solskjar Belagt Simao Bookings: de Vlieger, Frisk
(6) (5) (6)
Svensson Ljungberg de Vlieger
(5) (6) (7)
Larsson Falköping Frisk Kristiansand
(5) (4) (6) (6)
van Meer
(6)
SVECIA LIGHTNING

Commerce Heights 2 (Friedman 49, Smith 81)
Cockbill Street 3 (Peters 9, Heimfoething 22, 40)

COCKBILL STREET
Underwood Substitutions:
(8) Bitton for Stewart 70'
Joyce Galena Dwarfclobberer Walker Stronginthearm for Stubbings 70'
(6) (5) (5) (6) Roberts for Keegan 78'
Keegan Stewart Heimfoething Cawdron Bookings: Walker, Peters
(6) (4) (7) (6)
Peters Stubbings
(6) (5)
------------------------------------------------------------
COMMERCE HEIGHTS
(unknown)
Fmjphoenix
06-12-2004, 20:10
Apologies for no RPing over the weekend. My dorms have lost internet and it still has not came back up.

Vikings waltz past Kipto-Mare 4-0, defeat Lennon Marx 2-0, barely loos to Phazania 2-3

Coming back after a trouncing from Melmond, the Vikings rebounded nicely against Kipto-Mare 4-0. They were able to regain ground in their qualification run, but still have much challenge ahead. After learning about this rule 21, their 1-0 win over Spaam took 3 much needed points away from the Vikings, locking them in 5th instead of a tie with The Eagles Nest for 3rd place.

But in a match that the Vikings needed to win, they were dominint. The scoring started at the 13th minute with Mike Nolan striking hard with a shot right through the Kipto-Mare Goalkeeper. At 32 minutes, a yellow card was handed to a Kipto-Mare defender, and a penetly shot was given to Esteban Zeus, who was able to hook it in over the Kipto-Mare Goalkeeper to put the Vikings up 2-0. At the start of the second half, the Vikings came out strong and at the 50th minute, Jorge Mendel recieved a beautiful pass from Nolan and fired a shot into the back of the net for a 3-0 lead. Then things quieted down as the ball stayed around midfield for 10 minutes, neither team allowing it to go anywhere else. But at 84 minutes, Carlos Santos took it from a Kipto-Mare midfielder, passed up to Nolan and he hooked a meaningless goal into the upper-left corner of the goal to put the Vikings up 4-0, and give them 3 needed points in the standings.

Fmjphoenix: 4
(Nolan 13,84: Zeus 32: Mendel 50)
Kipto-Mare: 0
(None)

The next match was against Lennon Marx. It was mostly a dull game, with all the major action happening within the first 20 minutes. Karim Ackbar scored at 8 minutes for his first international play goal and also assisted Jorge Mendel in scoring at 19 minutes to put the Vikings up 2-0, which it would stay for the entire match. Vikings Goalkeeper Powell Lamar had full confidence on the match with his second consecutive shutout 4-0, 2-0, which made up for his disasterous 0-6 loss from Melmond. With 6 points in two games, the Vikings looked like they were back in rout to gaining the 3rd sport in Group 5.

Fmjphoenix: 2
(Ackbar 8: Mendel 19)

Lennon Marx: 0
(None)

The last match we cover here is against Phazania, which the Vikings suffered a heart-breaking 2-3 loss in time stoppage. The Vikings striked first with Nolan taking a goal at 13 minutes by Nolan. But Phanazia struck back at 34 minutes to tie it up 1-1. The in the first time stoppage, as if to be a preminition of what to come, Phanazia put one more past Powell Lamar to go up 1-2 as time stoppage ended. When the second half started, it seemed like a deadlock, as neither team was getting anywhere, but Nolan had a hand in stopping the deadlock. At 74 minutes, he stepped in front of a Phanazia forward and took the ball. After running up to midfield, he fired a pass to Mendel who was running past the Phanazia defenders. Mendel took a sidestep after taking the pass and hooked the ball over the Phanazia Goalkeeper to tie the match 2-2. But Phanazia struck in time stoppage again as the same forward got a lobbed ball from his goalkeeper at midfield, and ran up for a one-on-one with Lamar who could not reach the shot. It was a disappointing loss for the Vikings, as they are trying to qualify and do not want to ceede a bit at all.

Fmjphoenix: 2
(Nolan 13: Mendel 74)

Phanazia: 3
(#5 34: #10 45+, 90+)
EL CID THE HERO
06-12-2004, 20:50
EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

DENTED

El Cid the Hero 2 (Dent 36th Brown 67)
NEWI Cefn Druids 1 (Law 12)

With the lions now at the top of the table on 19 points the nation are in a very happy mood. as one fan put it *"were the best team in the world."*

the lions faced with their last game of the week against NEWI Cefn Druids in a hope to make it a record 10.5 hours of football undefeated and they came on strong. with 6 shoots on goal in the first 10 mins it looked like the lions would be able to get a goal or two.

However it was the Cefn's fans who had the most to celebrate because of due to a miss timed backpass by Dent in the 12th set Law up for a shot and Niemi just couldn't get to it.

Dent however was forgiven by his fans 24 mins later. when a mix up in the Druid's defence allowed him to get a 30 yard shot on goal and into the net. 1 all

the second half was very similar to the first with both sides cancelling each other out. Their was only 3 shots on target. 1 was a shot from Belmore hit the post, Dent shot was saved in a good dive and a free-kick from Brown went through the wall and into the net. 2-1 ECTH.

one week over, one week left. Can the lions make it a full 2 weeks?

*PLEASE NOTE :NOT ED'S VIEW*

READ AND YOU WILL FIND

MD1
EL CID THE HERO 2 - 0 Munchkinloopa

MD2
Sliponia 1 - 1 EL CID THE HERO

MD3
EL CID THE HERO 2 - 1 Legalese

MD4
Chonchland 0-2 EL CID THE HERO

MD5
The Weegies 2-5 EL CID THE HERO

MD6
EL CID THE HERO 1 - 0 Kaze Progressa

MD7
NEWI Cefn Druids 1 - 2 EL CID THE HERO
Shonar Bangla
06-12-2004, 21:11
Good evening Shonar Bangla, we begin with the humiliating defeat Shonar Bangla was dealt with by Big Pimiento. We know that many of you missed out on the game, because our cable stations weren't allowed to enter Big Pimiento. Here, is an original transcript of the conversation between The Statesman reporter (at the game) and the editor (back home).

Rep: "Team's coming out now, it is zero eight thirty local time. Over"
Rep: "Ref blown the whistle, Pimiento has the ball. Over"
Rep: "13th minute, we scored. Over"
---------Long time silence-----------------
Edt: "Whats happening? Over"
Rep: "We're losing 3-1 right now. Over"
Edt: "What the hell, how much time left? Over"
Rep: "We still have 20 mins in the first half. Over"
Edt: "Oh, good, we still have time to get back. Over"
Rep: "Doesn't look like it. We are getting our butts whipped all over the place, they just gave Basu the yellow card. Over"
Rep: "Half-time, 3-1. Over and out."

Edt: "Reporter, come in reporter."
Rep: "Yes, back here. We'll probably bounce back now. Over"
Rep: "Shit."
------------------Static----------------
Edt: "Reporter, what happened? Come in rep, what the hell is happening? Over."
--------------No noise------------------
30 mins later:
Rep (crying): "Sir!!"
Edt: "Where the hell were you, over."
Rep: "Sir, I couldn't speak. I kept crying. Over"
Edt: "You wus, how bad did we lose?"
Rep: "You don't wanna know. Over"
Edt: "C'mon, stop with the bullshit and get on with it. This is a newspaper for God's sake, not propaganda machine. Over"
Rep: "........we made one, they got 7. Over"
Edt: "WHADDAFA???"


The team returned to Murshidabad for a game with Raptor Claw. They have drawn against this team earlier in Raptor Claw. Given home support, Shonar Bangla should be coming off with a win, but yesterday's defeat definitely demoralized them beyond expression.


OOC: What's up with Lovisa? Did they win their game with Snub Nose 38 automatically, or did they also withdraw from the tournament?
Slaikau
06-12-2004, 22:05
Hey this is Slaikau from the EU. I've been signed up for these things for a while now but never usually win any games. I just figure i'd say hi I think it's pretty cool the way these cups go even if my nation usually does poor. We still have a chance this time but will probably start losing soon :)
Dance 2 Revolution
06-12-2004, 22:29
D2R show great bouncebackability after loss

Vilita defeat doesn't show to much reprucussions as D2R breeze to another 6 points

This was Matchday 6...and D2R had to get back on the winning road, Oaker stood in their way, but was this tree a baby or a tall, thick giant?

It proved to be a baby, Uber scoring a hat-trick within 20 minutes of the beginning whistle, not the hardest goals he'll score, but probably one of the fastest hat-tricks that he will.

Oaker pulled one back later in the first half with <8> after taking on Derinda, placing the ball through his legs then over Day.

Dance 2 Revolution buried the game in the 2nd half in the 71st minute when Maeda Jnr.'s intended corss was caught by the wind and looped into the net for a final score of 4-1

Final Score:
Oaker 1(<8> 32')
Dance 2 Revolution 4(Uber 3' 12' 18', Maeda Jnr. 71')

The air around the D2R camp was now one of enthusiasm, after the 4-1 win at Oaker, D2R had someone else to look forward too, someone who had put 4 goals past them, and conceded 4 goals to them. Tadjikistan. This was to be a match with similar drama, and goalscoring too, to the ones of the past.

Tadjikistan struck first with <9> who drilled a shot after a 1-2 with half time substitute <14> after 52'

It was now up to Kehsoot to prove that he isn't completely inferior to his strike parter. He scored a hat-trick, with goals coming in the 64', 71' and 82'. Uber didn't want his partner to totally steal the show, scoring twice in the 86' and in the first minute of injury time to leave the game finishing at 5-1.

Final Score:
Dance 2 Revolution 5(Kehsoot 64' 71' 82' Uber 86' 90')
Tadjikistan 1(<9> 52')

Next matchday: D2R Travel to Giant Zucchini. They will hope to get 3 points, but you never DO know in these competitions, do you?
Vilita
06-12-2004, 22:42
|===== Matchday 8 Scores and Tables Available ======|
Lethislavania
06-12-2004, 22:48
Lethislavania scored twice against the menace known as Jeruselam, with Thomas Boeing notching off the two points. However, it was not enough as they fell 3-2. They now have absolutely no chance of qualifying.
Fmjphoenix
06-12-2004, 23:44
Vikings pull off upset, defeat The Eagles Nest

In Fmjphoenix's 4th match against The Eagles Nest, they finally achieved what they could not before, victory. It took four matches, but they finally pulled one out against the Eagles as they won it very closely 1-0.

This was probably one of the closes and hard played matches in Vikings history. There is a small rivalry beginning to be build with TEN, as the Vikings have played no team more times than they have played The Eagles Nest. The match started of with TEN being led by Secour came up hard on the Viking defenders. At 8 minutes, Secour took a shot, but Powell Lamar got a hand out on it and hit it over the net. After the corner kick, the Vikings retrieve the ball and started to head upfield led by their duo of Jorge Mendel and Mike Nolan. But they would not score here as Mendel took a shot and it was blocked by TEN Goalkeeper Boyd Gregor who then dove back and caught a rebound shot by Nolan. The ball went back and forth several more times as neither team allowed a goal in the first half. The teams were right at it at the start of the second half, with the Vikings getting the first chance. Carlos Santos launched a shot from about 20 feet that looked like it was goin high, but hooked down. It looked like a goal but Gregor batted it away to Norga Negor, who started upfield when he was robbed by Nolan who fired on Gregor, who was not expecting the shot. Even though he was taken by suprise, he still manages to get a hand on it, but that hand led it right into the path of Mendel, how put it in at the 68th minute to score the first and only goal of the match. The Eagles Nest would get close though, as Secour went one-on-one with Lamar, but Lamar edged him out this time, catching Secour's shot as time stoppage ended, securing the Vikings their first victory over the Strike Eagles 1-0.

Thanks to the victory against TEN, they are tied with them in 3rd place with 10 points. The next few matches will be very critical as all teams still have an outside chance at qualification. The Vikings will be preparing hard to revisit One Red Dot and hope to walk away with 3 more points and continue their strong play.

Fmjphoenix: 1
(Mendel 68)

The Eagles Nest: 0
(None)

Vikings Qualification Record
--------------------------
MD 1: vs The Eagles Nest Draw 2-2
MD 2: BYE
MD 3: vs One Red Dot Lose 1-2
MD 4: vs Melmond Lose 0-6
MD 5: vs Kipto-Mare Win 4-0
MD 6: vs Lennon Marx Win 2-0
MD 7: vs Phanazia Lose 2-3
--------------------------
MD 8: vs The Eagles Nest Win 1-0
MD 9: BYE
MD10: vs One Red Dot
MD11: vs Melmond
MD12: vs Kipto-Mare
MD13: vs Lennon Marx
MD14: vs Phanazia
Record: 3-1-3
Shonar Bangla
06-12-2004, 23:50
Murshidabad-- After being dealt a crushing defeat in Big Pimiento, Shonar Bangla were looking to bouncing back against Raptor Claw, a team they had drawn away. However, as it occurred, the game ended up the same way as the last time, a boring draw.

Instead of elaborating on this eventless game, let us look at the the current situation in Group 9. Rule 21 proposed by Rejistania has omitted the significance of the games played with Snub Nose 38. Although a fair move, a move proposed by Shonar Bangla very long ago, it ends up hurting all teams in Group 9 with the exception of Shonar Bangla and Eystrk.

Currently, noob Hammerund with 10 points is perched unstably on this most-wanted spot. A Big Pimiento victory tomorrow will definitely change the equations tomorrow, while Shonar Bangla will fall behind in the game count, anything favorable gives Shonar Bangla the chance to catch up when the others enjoy their rest day.

Tomorrow's games include the following:
1) Bedistan vs. Eystrk (Bedistan predicted winner)
2) Lovisa vs. Hammerund (Lovisa victory is ideal, a draw wouldn't be too bad)
3) Shonar Bangla rest day
4) Raptor Claw vs. Big Pimiento (Raptor Claw victory is ideal, a draw wouldn't be too bad, but we predict a Big Pimiento victory)

The Shonar Bangla team is staying in Murshidabad at the Taj Bengal Hotel, as it awaits tomorrow's verdict and the crucial game with Lovisa.
Big Pimento
07-12-2004, 00:35
The Lions Sleep Tonight
Bedistan just can't buy a victory against the Futility Kings

So far during WC19 Qualification, Big Pimento has been Bedistan's bogey team. Well, two draws would usually be par for the course, but when you're the heavy favorite, it's gotta come as a disappointment. For the second time in the tournament, Big Pimento held Bedistan to a 1-1 draw.

"We just match up well against them," said Boris Valentine after the match, "They're a really good team, but their style of play plays into our advantages. I think that's why we've been able to enjoy such success against them."

Big Pimento's next match will be Raptor Claw, which should fit in the fat file of "Matches we probably should win, which everyone expect us to win, but will fail miserably in the end". Raptor Claw has been one of the disappointments of qualification so far, a 35th seed which has only been able to muster up five points through seven matches. This match will be critical, as a victory would land them even closer to World Cup qualification, while a loss could put them dangerously far out of contention with just four games to come. As for the rest of the action in Group 9, Big Pimento will have tobecome Lovisa and Bedistan's biggest fans, as they'll hope that these two titans will continue to crush all opposition on their paths, and in the process, fending them off from that third qualification spot.
Bedistan
07-12-2004, 01:05
The Bedistan Sports Digest

Narrow Victory
We couldn't think of a good headline for the Raptor Claw match

SONOMA CITY -- In a very boring match at Fillmore National Stadium, the Lions did pretty much exactly what they needed to do to walk away with three points, and not a bit more. George Washburn's 30th-minute goal was really the only thing of note here. At any rate, the final score was one-nil in favor of Bedistan.

BEDISTAN 1
G. Washburn 30
RAPTOR CLAW 0
(no scorers)

Circle of Life*
Feeling of deja vu as Bedistan draws Big Pimento again

BIG PIMENTO -- Bedistan's national football team, the Lions, were looking for revenge in their eighth qualifying match against Big Pimento, as the underdog "Futility Kings" had successfully held them to a 1-1 draw at home in Sonoma City. But again the offense was lackluster, and Big Pimento came out onto the pitch obviously aware of what they were doing, as they played at the level of a world-class side like Vilita or Audioslavia. This match being a bit more difficult than expected, both teams were happy to come away with a point.

"I think the coaching staff of the Big Pimento team has done an excellent job with their research, as the players seemed to know all our tricks," said manager Morris McGarity. "That really helped to even the playing field, and I'd like to congratulate the home team on a job well done."

Unfortunately, the draw means that the Lions fall further back from the unstoppable Lovisa, who now lead Group 9 by four points. Most experts believe that Lovisa and Bedistan will both hold their positions, and if Big Pimento stay in their current form, they'll need to book some aircraft to Turori or the Belmore Family as well.

BEDISTAN 1
J. Reinhardt 56
BIG PIMENTO 1
B. Valentine 70

Next Match
It's back home again to face Eystrck. And most likely, barring any sudden plagues that might disable two-thirds or more of the starting eleven, it's going to be a Bedistan victory.

* There have already been two quotes from The Lion King used as headlines, so we'll just keep the trend going. ; )
Audioslavia
07-12-2004, 02:32
I Slaiku, Yeah i Slaiku, and we're Feeling so Bohemian Like You
'Slaves beat Slaiku, Stay Six Clear

With two goals in five minutes, Jackie McLlroy saved Audioslavia from their first defeat of the WC19 campaign.

In a tough match, Slaiku used their home advantage well and took the lead on twenty-two minutes. The 'slaves, countering the Slaiku attacks well, equalised six minutes later as Rijsbergen and Oskari conspired to put Dannes through for 1-1. However, the status-quo lasted just ten minutes before Slaiku restored their advantage, a dangerous cross in from the left being converted by the tall Slaiku striker with not a defender in sight.

2-1 up at half-time, Slaiku were the better side and looked much more like winning, but the second half saw Ally Marriot kick into gear as he started getting more involved in midfield. The skillfull Audioslavian silenced critics who said that Audioslavia's best player didn't try hard enough in international matches. Five minutes after the interval the midfielder won the ball in the middle of the park, nipped round his opposite number and beat another Slaiku player delightfully with his patented 'nip and tuck' trick. Marriot sent McLlroy through with a penetrating through ball and the striker finished into the bottom corner for 2-2.

The equaliser hit Slaiku hard and within another five minutes they were behind for the first time. Marriot again was the keystone as he took charge of a passing move that was going nowhere. Playing a one-two with Jussi Oskari, Marriot nutmegged a Slaiku midfielder and scooped the ball up for Jansen to hit full on the volley from twenty-six yards. The shot had the goalie beaten but rebounded off the post. Luckily, McLlroy was on hand to stick the rebound in and Audioslavia were a goal to the good.

Slaiku scrambled to get themselves back in the game, keeping posession and taking the game to the 'slavians like they so successfully in the first half. However, the first chance they got, Audioslavia countered as lethally as any Audioslavia side can. Jansen's pace was, as it always is with 'slavian counter attacks, the key as he skinned the Slaiku right-back and cut inside into the box. Jansen laid the ball off to Dannes who set the ball up for Jussi Oskari to get his first goal for the national team and to effectively end the game. 4-2 the match stayed.

FINAL SCORE
Slaiku 2 (Some Guy 22, Some Other Guy 38)
Audioslavia 4 (Dannes 29, McLlroy 50 & 56, Oskari 73)

Group 8--------- -
[1] Audioslavia 8 7 1 0 21-6 22
[2] Sarzonia 8 5 1 2 18-9 16
[3] Lykaia 8 4 1 3 13-12 13
4- The Lowland Clans 8 4 0 4 10-8 12
5- Zvarinograd 8 4 0 4 13-17 12
6- Slaikau 8 3 1 4 12-13 10
7- Antixilian Fatwah 8 2 0 6 7-13 6
8- Middle March 8 1 0 7 8-24 3

Sarzonia's mauling of Middle March means Audioslavia don't extend their lead at the top, but Lykaia's 2-0 felling at the hands of an impressive Zvarinograd meand that the group has really closed up between places three and six. TLC managed to get a win to go fourth, followed by Zvarinograd who are fifth on goal difference. Slaiku drop from fourth to sixth thanks to the 4-2 defeat, but its 'as you were' for the bottom two who were both defeated. The 'slaves take on the bottom two teams in the next two games and will expect to get another six points, before playing host to Zvarinograd whom they beat 5-0 last time. However, Zvarinograd's form is obviously not to be balked at and they could cause the 'slaves some problems. After the 'grad come the three hardest games, but if all goes to plan in the next three, then Audioslavia will already be done and dusted and through to world cup 19.
The Eagles Nest
07-12-2004, 02:56
We've lost 3 matches.

But we're still in 3rd place.

Look guys, we HAVE to get some wins. Our reputation isn't enough to get us through.

But we can beat a few of those teams.

yeah and so can FMJphoenix. and if we can't get more points than them, it's luck that we make it.

I know that a lot of you are upset about things, and ....DAMN it get rid of that cheer box, it's annoying.

But coach, it's...almost hypnotic.

I'm going to shove that thing somewhere if you don't get rid of it.

Yes sir.

Anyway, we have to pick it up these next few matches. We have to get some wins. Have to. Otherwise the streak is over. We've never NOT qualified, and by goodness, we have to get there. We've got 5 matches. 11 points should hopefully be enough.

Sir, what about the hole in the pitch?

They filled it in. and the pitch should be playable. Just be careful near the center circle.

Yes sir.

I THOUGHT I SAID TO GET RID OF THAT CHEER BOX. *Coach Adams lunges at the box and the door to the lockerroom closes on it's own as a large scream eminates from the door.*
Aquiliana
07-12-2004, 03:10
Falcons Run Thourgh First Half of Qualifying Strong
Postioned well to qualifying again for the World Cup

Well, 8 games have so far been played, and the Falcons are starting to look like the heroes of 8 years ago who shocked the world by defeating 4 teams in the top 15 while being ranked only 69th in the world.

Now, Aquiliana's ranked 22nd, and playing with the dominance expected of them. They've stormed through the first half of qualifying, losing only to arch-rivals Liverpool England and up-and-comers Nova Britannicus. A 5-1-2 record, coupled with disappointing play by Total n Utter Insanity, has put them into 2nd place in this highly competitive group.

The Falcons are looking to keep their winning streak going tomorrow night, this time hosting Pterodactyl, an unranked team whom they defeated easily their first match.

Final Score:
Aquiliana 2 (Zeloptus 51, 63)
Hisam 0

Group 4
Group 4--------- -
[1] Liverpool England 8 5 2 1 18-9 17
[2] Aquiliana 8 5 1 2 17-11 16
[3] Wella 8 4 3 1 19-8 15
4- Total n Utter Insanity 8 5 0 3 17-15 15
5- Nova Britannicus 8 4 0 4 12-13 12
6- Anglevia 8 3 1 4 17-16 10
7- Pterodactyl 8 1 2 5 9-18 5
8- Hisam 8 0 1 7 5-24 1



MATCH SCHEDULE

MD1: Aquiliana 3-1 Hisam
MD2: Pterodactyl 1-2 Aquiliana
MD3: Aquiliana 0-2 Nova Britannicus
MD4: Anglevia 2-3 Aquiliana
MD5: Aquiliana 2-2 Wella
MD6: Aquiliana 4-1 Total n Utter Insanity
MD7: Liverpool England 2-1 Aquiliana
MD8: Hisam 0-2 Aquiliana
MD9: Aquiliana vs. Pterodactyl
MD10: Nova Britannicus vs. Aquiliana
MD11: Aquiliana vs. Anglevia
MD12: Wella vs. Aquiliana
MD13: Total n Utter Insanity vs. Aquiliana
MD14: Aquiliana vs. Liverpool England
Adam Island
07-12-2004, 04:54
EAUZ UPSET!!! AI Wins 2-1

ADAM CITY, CAPITAL- In their second major upset of the tournament, Adam Island beat first place Eauz 2-1 to move up to the qualifying third-place spot in Group 7.

The field problems plauging The ADAMDOME last game seemed to have been resolved, as the teams entered onto a brand new turf to the cheers and jeers of nearly one-hundred thousand fans. A parade was held in the morning for the Adam Islander players, who signed hundreds of autographs.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v20/spartacus_007/Adam%20Island/signing.jpg
Reserve forward Ted Coelho signing a football. Source: STAN

Right off the kickoff, Adelaide Haakenson got possesion of the ball and dribbled it downfield, challenging the Eauz keeper. Her shot was rejected by his quick hands, but it gave the momentum to AI early on. At 17' Terrence Jhonson's corner kick was knocked in by Twilla Novello.

Eauz came back strong however, getting a rare one past Paco Naccarato on a penalty kick. Defender Otis Zaragosa was given a Yellow Card for his tackle that lead to the penalty.

At the match half, it was 1 goal apiece for the highly favored Eauz and the Cinderella team Adam Island. AI had never tied a match in international play, and are undefeated at their home in the capital city of Adam City.

The second half saw a lot of good defensive play, with Naccarato stopping two tough shots. Eventually, Adam Island worked the ball downfield and Adelaide Haakenson snuck it past the keeper with the assist by fellow forward Celina Fesperman.

Adam Island hung on for the win, placing them in third place in the Group 7 table. They have only 6 games left to play, and have a very good shot at qualifying for the World Cup in their very first try.

LAST GAME: AI 2, EAUZ 1
NEXT GAME: AI @ REJ
Sarzonia
07-12-2004, 05:11
Stars 'march' to win, keep pace with Slaves

With the first half of World Cup 19 qualifying out of the way, the Sarzonian national team was in a favorable position, leading Lykaia in the race for second on goal differential. For the Stars to advance to the finals for the first time, the team will have to maintain its level of play in the second half.

The Stars went a long way toward the consistent play Coach Dave Wilson was looking for, getting four goals from four different players and ripping Middle March 4-1.

"Our problem has been that we haven't been able to maintain the intensity we're looking for," Wilson said. "We didn't play the first half of qualifying last time with the kind of focus we needed. We're starting to play at a consistently high level but we've still got work to do."

The Stars (5-1-2, 16 points) kicked off their match looking for a quick strike against the lower seeded team and got it from Streetian league-bound forward Barry Alphonso. The recent transfer from the Randolph Reavers scored after an indirect free kick by midfielder Bobby Convey to give the Stars a 1-0 lead in the 14th minute.

Sarzonia made it 2-0 in the 33rd minute when midfielder Darwin Russell sent a looping corner from the right side toward the head of Alphonso, whose header was stopped by the Middle March goalkeeper but Convey poked home the rebound.

Russell added to the lead just before the start of first half injury time with a great deke that came following a steal at midfield and a breakaway opportunity where he outran the Middle March defense. With the Stars ahead 3-0, Wilson substituted liberally and substitute forward Kenny Cooper added to the onslaught with a 48th minute tally that stretched the margin to 4-0. Middle March earned a goal with a penalty kick in the 68th minute but it was too little too late.

"We've got a big one against Zvarinograd coming next," Russell said. "They beat us last time." Zvarinograd defeated Sarzonia 2-1 in the Stars' first road match of this World Cup qualifying season. Zvarinograd has been the surprise team of the group, winning four of their eight matches, and rest one point behind Lykaia for the third and final playoff spot in Group 8.

The Stars' win means they kept pace with Group 8 leaders Audioslavia, who have 22 points and the Slaves' only blemish is a 1-1 draw against the Stars.
Vilita
07-12-2004, 05:33
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif

Fins Rodded - Yea that was dumb...

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
Vilita Goalscorers::
5' Riccardo Appolloni
16' Callum Banda
43' Umberto Melli
47' Tanner Nerni
70' Antonis Siazzu


http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

-------------------Final Score was 5-1. Vilita have gone 63 Matches without losing Two consecutive games, dating back to the Finals of World Cup 15. This statistic includes World Cup Qualifying, Finals and Eagle's Cup Matches. It would also include Cup of Harmony matches had Vilita had any in this time period.


Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Jaloey Afrikka
Worst Player: Andrea Lamberti
Shots on Target: 23
Corner Kicks: 7

Opponents

Best Player:
Worst Player:
Shots on Target: 5
Corner Kicks: 9


http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif
Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [D] Andrea Lamberti, [D] Sibusiso Azaïez, [DMC] Jürgen Ramzi, [ML] Jacques Vintila, [MC] Umberto Melli, [MC] Tanner Nerni, [MR] Inaki Soler, [FC] Callum Banda, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni,
BENCH::
[FC] Carmine Mbidzo, [FC] Lai Ncube, [M] Antonis Siazzu, [M] Santo Kecker, [U] Ricky Ezis, [D] Petros Alfieri, [GK] Alioum Mané,

Vilita Substitutions::
(69) - Inaki Soler >>> Antonis Siazzu
Giant Zucchini
07-12-2004, 09:26
Zucchini Resurrection:
Episode 7: The Incredibles

The Zucchinis performed admirably against a rampant D2R team in their latest World Cup qualifying endeavour. After being beaten 1-3 in the away fixture, pundits did not give the Zucchinis much of a chance, especially in the light of D2R’s recent 5-1 drubbing of Tadjikistan. However, the Zucchinis gave D2R the shock of their lives when the Zucchinis put together a good series of passes, eventually the ball landing at the feet of Yusebo, whose stepovers wrongfooted Qi, leaving Yusebo clear in front of goal, and a powerful finish put the Zucchinis ahead in the first minute of the match. D2R were shocked, but not deterred, Naoki Maeda Jnr.’s swerving volley just tipped over by Oshin. Berisi had a rare chance, a long range piledriver that just skimmed the near post. However, the equaliser was bound to come, and it came barely past the quarter hour mark, Iytreston Jherylyinsto breaking up a Giant Zucchini attack before charging ahead for the counter, leaving the Zucchini defenders for dead, before unleashing a low drive past Oshin. After the game’s thrilling start, the game then went into a stalemate, the teams looking to go into half time a goal apiece. However, in the dying minutes of the first half, Über conjured up a moment of magic, chesting a lob and unleashing an overhead kick which Oshin got a touch to but could not keep out. Little is known about what Mr Tolar did in the dressing room at half time, but it is rumoured it involved a Billy Ray Cyrus CD and a 20 member line dancing troupe. Whatever he did, it worked wonders after the break, Perles scoring the Zucchinis’ equaliser in the 55th minute, a long distance strike that Day saw late. The Zucchinis continued with that momentum, Madorna’s left-footed volley hitting the angle of the post and the crossbar and into the hands of Day. Li had his chance to seal the match shortly after, but his rasping long range shot whizzed past the far post. Perles had a chance to increase his goal tally, but his long range shot towards the top corner was brilliantly palmed away by Day. Maeda Jnr. thought he had gotten the lead after beating the defence and putting his shot beyond Oshin, but the ball bounced excruciating wide of the far post. As the end of the match approached, the Zucchinis had a wonderful chance to snatch all 3 points as Madorna turned the entire D2R defence and unleashed a left-footed shot to the far post, but the onrushing Day deflected the ball out for a corner and saved the point for D2R. Head Coach Mr Tolar, “I think we have finally turned the corner, this is very important.”


Final Score:

Giant Zucchini - 2
Yusebo (1), Perles (55)

Dance 2 Revolution - 2
Jherylyinsto (16), Über (43)


Man of the Match: Billy Ray Cyrus


------------------------TO BE CONTINUED------------------------

The Green Ripper strikes back at:
Escape to Slavery
Alien Resurrection
Manchester United vs Arsenal
The Matrix
Digital Fortress
Great Expectations
Ocean’s Eleven
Kevin Keegan
Thierry Henry
Torture Garden
The Jerusalem Torture Document
Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo
The Incredibles
Gerard Houllier
Claudio Ranieri
Druida
07-12-2004, 13:52
The Tribune Tribune
Serving Druid Tribune and the surrounding area

RECORD WIN OVER TAOKOUALU (AGAIN)
Trefor Blackmore on Taokoualu 0 Druida 5

After chalking up a record victory in their opening group game at home against Taokoualu, the Druida rainbows have gone one better in the return match. After already winning 4-0 in the group twice, 5-0 was a new experience, and has even bettered their record defeat, which can't be bad.

Thakfully, after the chaos of their last match in Squornshelous, this one turned out a lot more... well, uncontroversial. Taokoualu were "Taok"en to the cleaners again, this time by two Garth Vincent goals, a stunning Trefor Andrews free kick and one each for youngsters Garth Cymru and Garth Montenegro.

Of course, on the opening day, everyone got their expected victories. But not today. Dead Rockstars managed to overcome Starblaydia, while, probably even more surprisingly, Lexmarak, the famous mis-spelt Druidan printer, beat Krytenia. So the rainbows position in group 1 is a lot stronger than it was 24 hours ago. It's now five points back to Krytenia, while they are level on points with the second placed Starblaydi team. Next up are Vorpal Bunnies. A fair few of the Druida players harshly sent of in their first encounter will be looking to make amends at the Pot Of Gold in Druid Tribune when they come.
Jeruselem
07-12-2004, 14:36
Jeruselem Government News

Lethislavania show fight but lose in achy breaky style

Lethislavania's first game was a 6-0 loss to the "menace known as Jeruselem". This time they wanted revenge and pushed the Group 3 leaders to limit but the Crusaders were not to be denied as the Group 3 leaders rolled on.

It was a much different team when Jeruselem last played Lethislavania. By the end of 90 minutes, Lethislavania had Jeruselem tied 2-2 and showing they had learnt the lesson from their first game. Lethislavania tried to finish the game in extra time but poor finishing allowed Jeruselem to escape. Jeruselem defender Goerge Boosh was hanging around the Lethislavania goal square when the ball headed to him and he turned to take posession when an elbow smacked in the head. He was carted off the pitch and "Shami" was to take the penalty. He scored and Jeruselem won 3-2.

Goerge Boosh will be rested for the next game to the injury and will be needing more Whiskey of Most Distillation today. It is also rumoured the next game will play some of Jeruselem's reserve team.

Iansisle and Crystilakere won well scoring over 3 goals in their games while Runaway Moose was rested in the local forests for a bye. Crystilakere's 4-1 win showed the pundits it is a class team while Oceaice got kinghit 5-2 by Iansisle.

Group 3
Oceaice 2 - 5 Iansisle
7JM 1 - 4 Crystilakere
Lethislavania 2 - 3 Jeruselem
Bye: Runaway Moose


Group 3--------- -
[1] Jeruselem 7 6 0 1 25-9 18
[2] Crystilakere 7 6 0 1 20-9 18
[3] Iansisle 7 4 0 3 11-9 12
4- Oceaice 7 3 1 3 10-18 10
5- Lethislavania 7 2 1 4 15-17 7
6- 7JM 7 1 0 6 9-16 3
7- Runaway Moose 6 1 0 5 4-16 3
Rejistania
07-12-2004, 14:57
Hetaki tekne, devensi slani!

The Orange-Blues were playing in a way, coach SyLy wants it. The highly offensive type of match made people assume (sometimes hopefully) that System Karela is dead. Kylaai and the Orange-Blues tied the match 3:3.

The Hetlasane Hetkali Stadium was completely sold out, mostly with rejistania fans, which meeans that the rejistani anthem was used as melodyy for anti-SyLy chants. The match saw the Orange-Blues in a System Hangila and the Kylaais in their favorite System Imdila. Syku Lyku's idea of a Hetaki Tekne (world class attack) could be seen in a good form in this match, but also the bad side of that tactic was far too visible: the defense was leaky 'like an abysmali roof' (quote: Myk Linkosa). Again the Orange-Blues started conceding: Kazu'he brought the former nudist island ahead 0:2. Only two minutes after the 0:2, "Sa" was able to reduce the trailing. Vimorta'he 'just did it' seconds before the end of the first half and the Orange-Blues were again trailing 1:3. We do not know what SyLy said to the team during half time, but we do know that the volume of his voice has far higher than normal, this was effective: The fierce attacks of the Orange-Blues proven successfull and Minikse'he (who replaced Y'he after the first half) headed the ball into the goal in the 58th minute. In the 65th minute, "Sasi" converted an at best questionable free kick and archieved the equalizer. After that 3:3, the Orange-Blues almost instictively fell back into their common tactics, which at least fixed the leaky defense, even though it prevented all chances for both teams.
The result:
Rejistania 3 (Harakemindanutikejil 30th, Minikse 58th, Dikelesinivetisaru 65th)
Kylaai 3 (Kazu 19th 28th, Vimorta 45th)

OOC: In other news: Telnet+Lynx+too less time= teh suckz0rz!
Nova Britannicus
07-12-2004, 15:55
We're three points from... where?!

The Total n Utter Insanicians were let out of their institution for once to come to Nova Britannicus and play some football. Unfortunately for the Insanicians, the Britannicans were on top form and managed to edge out the much higer-ranked team and come out on the correct side of a three-two win.

Goals from Charlie Bowman, John McDonald and Kenny England gave the Navy-Blues their fourth win in the eight matches so far, brining them to a grand total of twelve points.

Twelve points? They only got Ten in the whole of the last set of Qualifiers in their first attempt to get to a World Cup. Charlie Bowman now has twenty-one goals for his country, which is, as ever, a new record. Closest behind is Wing-Wizard Dean Caliban on ten, which shows you how important a single target-man is in Britannican football.

If the Navy-Blues can repeat their resutls over Wella and Aquiliana in the next two matches they'll be in with a decent shout of an attempt at actually qualifying for The Belmore Family and Turori. What a great result that would be. Four wins and a larger points total than last time is a great effort, and that's considering we're only halfway-through this Qualifying schedule.
Starblaydia
07-12-2004, 16:13
Goals Against the Soul
'Manic' Edwards puts Rockstars into Dreamland

For once it was Starblaydia's defence who went missing (presumed offside) as Dead Rockstar's substitute Richey Edwards popped up for the winning goal in a hard-fought contest at what could quite well have been Wembley Stadium.

Though big-man up front Eomer Hall had put Starblaydia in front, the purple-shirted haze didn't last very long as some outrageous ball-juggling by Jimi Hendrix left the defence stood standing and Markus Cragg had to pick the ball out the back of the net. That wasn't the depressing part, however.

With Jerome Montefalcon being sent off for a waist-high challenge on Lennon, Starblaydia then compounded their own misery as Guylain N'Dumbu-Nsungu was also sent off for abusing the fourth official. He later claimed he was only quoting some lyrics written by the opposition players, but the Ref said he'd not heard of any new music since Cliff Richard came out of his rock'n'roll phase.

More's the pity.

Final Score:
Dead Rockstars 2 - 1 Starblaydia
(Hendrix 54, Edwards 87) - (Hall 21)
Eauz
07-12-2004, 16:36
Le LIBRE

Eauz kicked off the Island

Match day 8, the start of the second half of qualifying, saw Les Bleus travelling to Adam Island, in search of kicking off this tie match, and get back into the victory column. The last time these two teams met was during MD1, were Les Bleus beat them 3 – 1. Arriving on the island, Les Bleus were surprised to find out that the island was neither an example of Guilligans Island, nor a FOX game show, but an actual island with a population. The stadium was one of the largest things on the island though, as it appeared that the whole island came out to watch the match. Fans were vibrant and excited to see Les Bleus, and as with Esth, hope to see their team do well against Les Bleus. Les Bleus were just looking to get over the bumpy road they hit, with some of their players out. Fortunatly for them, Alia was back from the suspension, and Devereux was back from the little sickness. Les Bleus were just waiting for Vasser, who was expected to be back by match day 10, but, due to the fact that match day 10 is a by period for Les Bleus, he will be given some extra rest, and be ready for The Evil Umpire.

The match started with the whistle, and AI started with the ball. Adelaide Haakenson, a player from AI, quickly got into the Eauz offence, as she passed it to another player, who sent it back to her. She took the shot, close to the net, but Rousoi was there to stop the ball. This created some motivation by the AI side, as they seemed to be the team in control. During the 10th minute of play, Celina Fesperman, an AI forward, kicked a ball which hit the cross bar and bounced high into the air. Rousoi and her fought for the ball, but in the end, Rousoi grabbed the ball, keeping Eauz out of trouble. Unfortunately, for Les Bleus, Rousoi could not stop everything, as at the 17th minute of play, Terrence Jhonson kicked a corner, which was headed in by Twilla Novello, giving the home team a 1 – 0 lead over the mighty Eauz, or shall we say, the wanna be mighty Eauz? AI seemed to keep on the pressure, but did not get many great chances. The Eauz defence tightened up after the corner kick goal. Finally getting it out of the AI possession, Les Bleus put on an attack during the 30th minute of play. Rousseau sent a pass to Theodoric, who was tripped up in the penalty zone, before he could receive the ball. The referee instantly raised the flag up. Defender Otis Zaragosa was given a Yellow Card for his tackle that leads to the penalty kick. Alia took the kick, and it was successful, tying the match at 1 – 1. AI, with the help of the fans, seemed to be very spirited in this match, as they were when Rejistania visited AI. Added on with the frustration of the Eauz club, who was doing great up to this point in the qualifying round, AI was looking to be the better of the two teams. Near the end of the first round, Les Bleus were looking to knock that spirit out of AI, as they received a corner at the 41st minute of play. Camus took the corner kick. The ball sailed towards the group, as Alia received it, heading it towards the net. Unfortunately, the ball went over the net, and Les Bleus first half attack was over. The first half would end at a 1 – 1 tie.

The second half came, and fans were hungry for more from AI. Both teams though were tied up in a stalemate, as most of the second half was played in the centre. During the 50th minute of play, 3 AI players broke away from the stalemate, and saw them pass it around, before one of them took a shot. The shot was hard, but Rousoi was able to dive and stop it. Rousoi kicked it back, but AI got the ball back. They brought it up field again, with a more organized grouping of players. A long pass was taken, heading towards the middle of the net. An AI player headed it, but Rousoi was once again there to grab the ball and hold onto it. With the help of the fans, AI was full of spirit, and Les Bleus and their defence were not helping Rousoi much. AI finally broke the tie, during the 72nd minute of play, with AI brining the ball down field. With the help of Celina Fesperman, who sent a pass in front of the net, where Adelaide Haakenson was situated, AI, went up 2 – 1. AI and their fans would not look back, as they completed the upset against Les Bleus by the 2 – 1 score. As it stands, AI seems to be the upset team of group 7, as they beat Rejistania once and Eauz once. AI will face off against Rejistania in the next match, and will find out if their luck, and spirit can help them win and prove to new teams that high ranked teams are not so hard to beat. If they are able to do this, their record against Rejistania and Eauz will be 3 – 0 – 1.

After the match, the coach would not speak with the media, as he had asked for a private meeting with his players in the locker room. He was none too pleased with his team’s performance this evening, but gave credit to AI, as being an up and coming team.

With the loss, Les Bleus have fallen on hard times, with a tie and a loss in their last 2 matches. They will be hoping that their next match against the last place team in the group, Hiiraan, will give them a reasonable victory. Surprisingly though, Hiiraan tied Esth, in a 0 – 0 match, during match day 8. Les Bleus will have to smarten up, and improve their play, which they had during match days 1 – 6. Nonetheless, Les Bleus are still in first place, and 3 points ahead of Rejistania. If Les Bleus are to have any chance, they will have to keep up the winning, and hope that they can win against Rejistania again. If they can do this, they will guarantee themselves place in the world cup.

Schedule

*Matches in Gray will not count or be played

Match Day 1: Adam Island @ Eauz W 1 - 3
Match Day 2: Eauz @ Hiiraan W 4 - 0
Match Day 3: Villapange @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Match Day 4: Eauz @ The Evil Umpire W 1 - 0
Match Day 5: Eauz @ Rejistania W 3 - 2
Match Day 6: Kylaai @ Eauz W 0 - 3
Match Day 7: Eauz @ Esth T 2 - 2

Match Day 8: Eauz @ Adam Island L 1 - 2
Match Day 9: Hiiraan @ Eauz
Match Day 10: Eauz @ Villapange
Match Day 11: The Evil Umpire @ Eauz
Match Day 12: Rejistania @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz @ Kylaai
Match Day 14: Esth @ Eauz


Group 7
[1] Eauz 7 5 1 1 17-7 16
[2] Rejistania 7 4 1 2 19-13 13
[3] Adam Island 7 4 0 3 10-11 12
4- Kylaai 6 3 1 2 14-11 10
5- The Evil Umpire 7 3 0 4 13-11 9
6- Esth 7 2 2 3 10-11 8
7- Hiiraan 7 0 1 6 3-22 1
EL CID THE HERO
07-12-2004, 17:57
EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

OUT WITH THE OLD WEEK....

Munchkinloopa 0
EL CID THE HERO 1 (Cumberland 73)

I is said that history repeats itself, and the lions are on their way to proving this by getting a 1-0 win over Munchkinloopa a side that has not yet created it’s own itself in the WC.

the game started like the old one with the lions getting most of the ball and most of the shots, but to Munchkinloopa credit their defence held firm and didn't buckle and maintained their shape.

In the first half the lions couldn't get the ball into the box and with the strikers being bogged down in the mid field it looked as if the lions would have to be happy with a point. but with only 17 min left on the clock Krell managed to get the ball on the outskirts of the box and got a shot on goal and the keeper was nowhere. 1-0.

in the aftermath of the match Jonny Doomhammer realised this statement...

"in the good form the lions are having i have decided to do the following I will sub...

Gruber for Trotter
Dash for Kido
Kraid for Cumberland
Branin for Desaillty

i would like to explain that this is to experiment with the side for a few matches and not because anyone failed."

J DOOM

Will this new side be as good well as the old?

READ AND YOU WILL FIND

MD8
EL CID THE HERO 1 - 0 Munchkinloopa

MD9
Sliponia Vs EL CID THE HERO

MD10
EL CID THE HERO Vs Legalese

MD11
Chonchland Vs EL CID THE HERO

MD12
The Weegies Vs EL CID THE HERO

MD13
EL CID THE HERO Vs Kaze Progressa

MD14
NEWI Cefn Druids Vs EL CID THE HERO
The Belmore Family
07-12-2004, 22:09
|===== Matchday 9 Scores and Tables Available ======|
Rejistania
07-12-2004, 22:35
The Umpire strikes back - unsuccesfully

The Orange-Blues defeated The Evil Umpire in their evil lair with a 3:1 scoreline. The fans of the Umpire tried everything to prevent that win and of course, rocks and garbage were thrown on the pitch until it looked like a landfill. The Orange-Blues were hit by garbage and smaller rocks several times but since they were protected by armour which reminded of knights or american football players no one was injured seriously.

Yanukovich Teabag run upfield and scored past the surprised Menik Hisda seconds after the match started. The Orange-Blues countered by using the most evil tactics as most people would describe it, incidentally, it is also the favorite tactic of rejistanis: System Karela. For most of the time, the rejistanis were in their own half. In the 9th minute Jariakeledema Ky-Inidiviayu had one chance for a counter-attack and Pol Pot Teabag the substitute goalie could not parry Ky-Inidiviayu's shot from a good position. Later counter attacks of Minikse'he were also sucessfull. Eventually the final score was 3:1.

The result:
The Evil Umpire 1 (Yanukovich Teabag 1st)
Rejistania 3 (Ky-Inidiviayu 9th Minikse 38th 64th)
Lethislavania
07-12-2004, 22:47
Lethislavania Fighting Green

The game began fine, as the players felt very good about their chances against Crytsilakere, one of the better teams in the group.

However, it began to go downhill, as the Crystils struck viciously. Benjamin Kuhn raced up the field, darting around Twidler and Thomas as though they were mere statues, and he pumped the ball sideways to Toader Pold. Pold darted to the side and nailed the ball, spinning a quick shot towards Jorge. Reaching, the ball wizzed straight through Jorge's hand. Cursing, he pounded the ground. "Ijia Oodot!" He screamed. (Roughly equivalent to F! you!) Aroyyo just paced. 'We've done our best...'

The second half was not much better, as Pold began by sliding right between Boeing and Twidler, sending the ball to Kuhn. Kuhn then dribbled gracefully around the midfield, not missing a step. Reaching Vorela, he launched it over towards Piao, who then dueled with Varnelo, dribbling the ball through the out-witted defender's leg. Setting up, the ball flew through the air, sailing over Jorge's head into the goal.

The win seemed immenient, although Crystilakere got quite a scare from two late game runs from Boeing, but in the end, the game ended, 2-0, Crystilakere winning.
Starblaydia
07-12-2004, 22:50
Back on the Track
Starblaydia notch up 4 again

'The Kids' came out to play against the mispelled-Druidan Printer company and repeated the Matchday Two scoreline of Four-Nil. Nick Matranga scored his second and thrid goals of the Qualifiers, notably they were also his second and third goals again Lexmarak, having scored the third against them previously.

When a team full of under-25s can thrash a team so resoundingly, this doesn't help but auger well for the future. Up next Starblaydia travel to Taokoualu, hoping to keep the gap, now worth three points, between them and third-placed Druida.

Final Score:
Starblaydia 4 - 0 Lexmarak
(Del Blanco 17, Matis 43, Matranga 62 & 78) - (None)
Shonar Bangla
07-12-2004, 23:09
Murshidabad-- Taking advantage of today's break, the Shonar Bangla team efficiently the hours of the day into much-needed rest, practice, game analyses, and a night of hot sex and alcoholism. As the tournament draws to a close, the standings and possible scenarios are getting very interesting. Here is a transcript of the press conference given today by team spokesperson Harsha Bhogle at the end of matchday 9:

Harsha: Good evening esteemed guests. Today's topic will be the World Cup situation and the challenges faced by the Shonar Bangla team now. Just for the record, today's scores are posted here:
Bedistan 0 - 2 Eystrck
Lovisa 3 - 0 Hammerund
Raptor Claw 1 - 2 Big Pimento
And with this, we open the floor for any questions.

Reporter A: How're you doing sir....I am Satyam Bubna from The Statesman, we would simply like to know how you view the qualification stage as of now.

Harsha: Well, as for now, it is pretty much guaranteed that Lovisa and Bedistan are qualifying. The tussle is over the third spot. We were largely happy with the way things turned out today. It was good to see Hammerund getting crushed, makes things easier for us, seeing that we can now have some respite. On the other hand, as we predicted, Raptor Claw was defeated by Big Pimiento, allowing them to jump into the 3rd spot. Not good at all! And here, we had Bedistan getting convincingly defeated by Eystrk, we don't know if they fielded their high school team or something, but they must realize that this is a professional tournament, where even if qualification is guaranteed, the game exists for the crowd's entertainment. And the best way to do that, is to play to full potential. Highly unprofessional if Eystrk were given a free victory. We simply hope then, that they remain just as benevolent when we face them day-after.

Reporter B: Yes sir, I am Rishav Bhattacharjee from Ganashakti. Could you elaborate on your strategy, and the games you seriously consider winning?

Harsha: Definitely. Victory with Eystrk and Hammerund will be a must. Realistically speaking, considering the current form of Lovisa, we doubt we can survive tomorrow unscathed. However, Bedistan and Big Pimiento games will be the deciders, we could definitely do better than last time. A victory tomorrow against Lovisa is still a possibility, and that would bring us onto level with Big Pimiento, who plays no games tomorrow. We are serious about taking this to the next level. Our overall strategy, is simply to play to the best of our abilities and win every game.

Reporter C: Yea, I'm Hemant Sharma from the Indian Express. Many of your nation's as well as the region's residents have expressed discontentment over the action of your players in this tournament, especially the alcoholism and promiscousness that is very common amongst this team. What do you have to say to that?

Harsha: Well, I know that our population is conservative socially, and so is the Indian region's as well. However, our strength lies in our political liberalism, and the actions of our team are not at all illegal. In fact, many of our players quote their religion as basis for their sexuality. Let us enjoy our liberalism that is allowed by Hinduism and Sufi Islam, instead of indulging ourselves into Talibanic codes. Anyway, our coach himself, Mr. Rana Ali, a devout Sufi Muslim of the Jessore school, supports these late-night adventures, I daresay taking part in them himself.

Reporter C: But what's the point? These men are national idols, wrong message don't you think?

Harsha: Mr. Ali supports these for the team's performance. A large part of the game is emotional. To quote him, "Keep the instrument satisfied, its master shall be content." This strategy worked wonders for us at the Indo-03, the Baptism of Fire Cup, as well as over here. Any more questions?

Reporter D: Yes, I'm Barkha Dutt from Aaj Tak News, what is being done to band in your team's fans? Any economic packages? What about the pan-regional involvement?

Harsha: Thank you for mentioning that. The government of Shonar Bangla has given holiday on the days we have home games to those that work in public office, with the exception of hospitals and military. We have also opened our borders for free movement. We invite the entire region to cheer on our team tomorrow for the game with Lovisa. The stadium is already sold out, but there is still place to stand, and place in the skyscrapers and stuff. And with that, we end today's conference. Thank you ladies and gentlemen, many of you have journeyed hundreds of miles, it was a great pleasure to be here. JOY BANGLA!
Iansisle
07-12-2004, 23:23
SuperIans Revival?
Fans not clear if number ‘7’ part of opposing team’s name or score

WESTERGATE, Iansisle -- It was not a match - it was a slaughter. For one game, the Ians looked like a specter from their glorious past and not the group of screw-ups and dilly-dalliers who inherited a third ranked team.

Midfielder Bill Simpson, who has developed into a solid player on both ends of the pitch, was instrumental in the victory, notching two goals for himself. An own goal by #27 of 7JM, a penalty kick by Bucks, and goals by Cotton and Browne filled out the Ians’ score sheet.

Oceaice, the evil symbol of all that’s wrong with today’s kids, was idle, allowing the Ians to stretch their lead to five points.

((ooc: Are you ever going to linkie-linkie my roster, V? I'm feeling very left out. ;)))
Audioslavia
07-12-2004, 23:40
Sitting Pretty
25 Points from possible 27

If theres one thing the Audioslavians are good at, its qualifying. WC5 notwithstanding, the 'slaves have qualified for every major tournament they've participated in and they look certain to do the same here. This how group eight looks with five games to go:

Group 8----------
[1] Audioslavia 9 8 1 0 23-6 25
[2] Sarzonia 9 6 1 2 20-10 19
[3] The Lowland Clans 9 5 0 4 12-9 15
4- Slaikau 9 4 1 4 13-13 13
5- Lykaia 9 4 1 4 13-13 13
6- Zvarinograd 9 4 0 5 14-19 12
7- Antixilian Fatwah 9 2 0 7 7-15 6
8- Middle March 9 1 0 8 9-25 3

With a twelve-point advantage over Slaikau and just fifteen possible points to play for, the 'slaves have more or less done it, knowing that a win against Middle March would put them home and dry, twelve points clear with twelve to play for, and Slaikau/Lykaia needing to score seventeen goals in four games to get ahead of them. Behind the 'slaves, Sarzonia also look comfortable in second with a six-point gap whilst The Lowland Clans, after an abysmal start to the campaign, are in third but will still need to work hard to consolidate their place in WC19. Slaikau and Lykaia have an identical record in fourth and fifth place, but Slaikau are ahead on the basis of having taken four points from their games with Lykaia, drawing with them 3-3 before beating them 1-0. Zvarinograd have been pushed down into sixth place, but they are still concievably one win away from taking The Lowland Clans' place away from them.
Adam Island
08-12-2004, 01:00
REJISLAM!

REJISTANIA- Adam Island has done it again! After beating defending champion Rejistania at home in the first leg and defeating highly-ranked group leader Eauz in the last match, Adam Island has traveled to Rejistania and defeated the predicted champions on their own turf.

The Adam Islanders entered the field nervous but excited. This was their big chance to prove to the world that they truly are a team to be reckoned with, and to solidify their place in the Group 7 standings. This was also an opportunity for a major let-down. Never before have the expectations been so high for a team ranked #90 against a team ranked #1. And unlike their first matchup, Rejistania wouldn't be fielding only second-stringers.

Manager Deidra Gowin went with a new formation this time, opting for a 3-3-4 to include striker Ted Coelho who had earned his place in the starting lineup from his excellent performance in the last two matches. The hope was that this would give the AI offense an added boost, and that keeper Paco Naccarato, having a fairly poor qualifier so far, would be able to keep shots out on his end.

Coelho started the game strong, shooting one ball at about 35 meters out that barely missed the goal and bounced off the left post. But as usual, the star forward was Adelaide Haakenson, who knocked in a penalty kick past keeper Taserikijilti Vavenetexy on the Esri Rija-Jesa handball.

Trouble appeared when forward "Sa" Harakemindanutikejil got the ball up near the goal. AI defender Otis Zaragosa challenged him, but Sa knocked the ball through his legs and up into the far corner. Naccarato was out in front of it, but he lunged back and out, reaching his arm around the ball and barely deflected the shot with the tips of his fingers, sending it out of bounds and saving the Adam Islanders a goal.


http://www.brazilsoccerusa.com/imagem/pontearabia.jpg
Naccarato reaching for his miraculous save. Source: STAN

The Rejistanian crowd couldn't believe it. The ball clearly looked like it was going in. But somehow, Naccarato had found it in him to stop the shot.

At the end of the half, Adam Island was up 1-0, and it looked like they were going to repeat their victory and become more than "just a spoiler." And they did.

The second half wore on, with neither team breaking ahead. Then, at a crucial moment, Adelaide Haakenson got the ball. She tore towards the goal, and shot the ball powerfully into the net. Vavenetexy caught it, but he couldn't hold on. Celina Fesperman dove after the rolling ball, and kicked it towards the keeper. The keeper dashed towards it, the ball careening off his foot and out of bounds.

Terrence Jhonson kicked the corner, and Twilla Novello, in a repeat of her performance yesterday against Eauz, bounced the ball off her head and into the goal. Vavenetexy reached for it, but too late, and Adam Island was up 2-0, the same score that the game ended on.

With this win, Adam Island vaulted into second place in Group 7, making them a pick for qualifying for the cup. This game also put their goal differential at +1 rather than -1, something that may prove to be the key to winning the qualifier, especially if Kylaai wins on AI's bye. Rejistania has now joined Hiiraan as the only teams that Adam Island has defeated twice. AI has won three games in a row.


LAST GAME: AI 2, REJ 0

NEXT GAME: HIR (0-1-7) @ AI (5-0-3)
2-0-0 record vs. Hiiraan. 3 GF, 1 GA
Eauz
08-12-2004, 01:37
Le LIBRE

Victory & Surprise

Match Day 9 arrived, and Eauz was looking to get off a slump of 1 tie and 1 loss in the past 2 matches. Coming home of that road trip, Les Bleus were looking to take their problems off on Hiiraan, who is sitting in last place of the group and just hanging on to a possibility of qualifying. Despite the lack off offence on the trip, Eauz fans crowded the stadium, to watch their team hopefully get off a slump. Les Bleus were still without Vasser, who was nursing his leg, and expected back for match day 11. The last time these two teams met, Les Bleus won 4 – 0 in Hiiraan. Hiiraan was hoping to get revenge on Les Bleus, but it would be tough with a large Eauz crowd, and Eauz coming off a tough road trip, being frustrated.

Off the whistle, Alia took the ball up field, passing it to D'Aubigne who took it straight to the net. She passed it to Rousseau, and got knocked down, without a whistle. Rousseau took the shot, sending past the keeper, giving Les Bleus a 1 – 0 lead at the 53rd second of play. A crazy godmod event occurred, but the Hiiraan defence just didn’t show up. The godmod event occurred faster than Eauz fans could react, as the only people who were cheering, were the players. Nonetheless, Les Bleus continued the attack, as they saw really no challenge from Hiiraan in this match. During the 10 minute of play, Les Bleus received a corner, where Camus took the kick. The ball sailed over the crowd, and it went into Hiiraan possession. Theodoric though went after the player, and got the ball back, from what was a controversial attack. The referee let play continue, and Theodoric passed it over to Piquno, who let a shot go. The shot curved to the left, and just got into the net, and passed the keeper, as Les Bleus went up very early by a 2 – 0 lead. It must have been the frustration coming out on this game, as Les Bleus wouldn’t let Hiiraan even enter the Eauz zone, as Les Bleus reclaimed the ball and kept on the pressure. It seemed as if the Hiiraan was not sure what to do. Frustration started to build up and show for the Hiiraan defence, as during the 21st minute of play, Alia was given a pass, but a Hiiraan player gave a strong attack on Alia, knocking Alia off his feet. Once again, the referee missed the call, as Alia was in a bit of pain. He was all right after a few minutes of walking it off. Les Bleus were given the ball, but no free kick. Camus kicked the ball back in play for Les Bleus, and Rousseau took it towards the net. Drawing 2 Hiiraan players with him, he passed it over to Alia, who notched the 3rd goal of the match for Les Bleus. That match was turning into a blow out, as Les Bleus coach decided to bring his team back to defend and meet up with the Hiiraan team. Hiiraan, though was not very organized, and Les Bleus would reclaim the ball. The first half finished off, with Les Bleus adding a final goal, with a long shot, which was taken, just to get the ball in the Hiiraan zone. The ball found its way to Alia, who pounded it past the keeper, giving Les Bleus a 4 – 0 lead.

The second half saw no real change in the atmosphere of the match. Eauz fans were thrilled to see their team winning. Hiiraan though did get a little spark of hope from their team, when during the 60th minute of play, one of their forwards being aggressive, attacked for the ball, knocking it loose from an Eauz mid-fielder. The Forward got up from the tackle and went for the ball. With only 1 other Eauz defender back, the Forward got past him. Rousoi tried to grab the ball, but the forward knocked it over the diving Rousoi, putting it into the net, giving Hiiraan their first goal against Les Bleus in 2 matches. Aside from that, the second half was a sleeper, and many people left early, as they realised that Hiiraan was not a challenge for Les Bleus. The referee blew his whistle, and Les Bleus won the match 4 – 1.

With the victory, Les Bleus kept up with 1st place and a record of 6 – 1 – 1, giving them 19 points. Surprising enough, as Les Bleus finished off Hiiraan, the surprise team Adam Island knocked off Rejistania for the second time by a 2 – 0 score. Adam Island’s victory bumped them up to 2nd place, and put them in a position to threaten Eauz for 1st place. Before the cup started, many assumed this new team would finish around the bottom, but they seemed to have enough spirit to challenge the two top teams. Les Bleus will take the bye period off to train some more and get some rest for their players. After the rest period, they will be faced off at home against The Evil Umpire who have still not shown up for this cup, and are sitting in 5th place now.

Schedule

*Matches in Gray will not count or be played

Match Day 1: Adam Island @ Eauz W 1 - 3
Match Day 2: Eauz @ Hiiraan W 4 - 0
Match Day 3: Villapange @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Match Day 4: Eauz @ The Evil Umpire W 1 - 0
Match Day 5: Eauz @ Rejistania W 3 - 2
Match Day 6: Kylaai @ Eauz W 0 - 3
Match Day 7: Eauz @ Esth T 2 - 2

Match Day 8: Eauz @ Adam Island L 1 - 2
Match Day 9: Hiiraan @ Eauz W 1 - 4
Match Day 10: Eauz @ Villapange
Match Day 11: The Evil Umpire @ Eauz
Match Day 12: Rejistania @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz @ Kylaai
Match Day 14: Esth @ Eauz



Group 7
[1] Eauz 8 6 1 1 21-8 19
[2] Adam Island 8 5 0 3 12-11 15
[3] Rejistania 8 4 1 3 19-15 13
4- Kylaai 7 4 1 2 15-11 13
5- The Evil Umpire 8 3 0 5 13-12 9
6- Esth 7 2 2 3 10-11 8
7- Hiiraan 8 0 1 7 4-26 1
Bedistan
08-12-2004, 02:47
Next Match
It's back home again to face Eystrck. And most likely, barring any sudden plagues that might disable two-thirds or more of the starting eleven, it's going to be a Bedistan victory.

And here, we had Bedistan getting convincingly defeated by Eystrk, we don't know if they fielded their high school team or something, but they must realize that this is a professional tournament, where even if qualification is guaranteed, the game exists for the crowd's entertainment.

We are in a large room on the seventh floor of the Sonoma City Northside Regional Medical Center. There are twenty-five beds in this room, all filled. Closer inspection reveals that these beds contain the entire 23-member Bedistan Lions squad, along with manager Morris McGarity and his assistant Mike Davidson. The TV in the corner of the room is on, and McGarity is staring up at it with a very grim expression on his face.

"Now here in the 85th minute, Eystrck remain up by two. Still, you must admit, fifteen-year-old Joey Derreno is doing a great job between the posts today. Of course, Miranda Ellison sets the record for youngest Bedistani to play on a senior national side with her first match today at the age of 13 years, 336 days. Under normal circumstances, neither of these two would be playing, but it seems the entire Bedistan national team and coaching staff is seriously sick after last night's dinner at Pedro's House of Tacos. As such, they've had to pull up an emergency squad composed of the best players from high schools throughout the Sonoma City metropolitan area. And while they are great, they're just no substitute for the real Lions. I want to give a quick shout out to our beloved team watching from a local hospital, and sincerely hope that they're well again before our next match. With that, there's the final whistle, and a score that's going to have people worldwide wonder just what the hell happened. Bedistan zero, two Eystrck."

McGarity shakes his head one last time. Lacking the energy to make any sort of protest, he returns to sleep.
Shonar Bangla
08-12-2004, 03:49
Under normal circumstances, neither of these two would be playing, but it seems the entire Bedistan national team and coaching staff is seriously sick after last night's dinner at Pedro's House of Tacos. As such, they've had to pull up an emergency squad composed of the best players from high schools throughout the Sonoma City metropolitan area.

"Sick my ass," coach Rana Ali retorted, "They just handed Eystrk the game, just to make things easy on their top string, just cause they've qualified already. It stinks here, it stinks with conspiracy, a conspiracy against Shonar Bangla. Doesn't matter, we will beat Lovisa tomorrow, and we will beat Bedistan day after, we will make them regret their dropped game."
Sarzonia
08-12-2004, 04:07
Stars sound midnight chimes, 2-1

Nicksia, BN (ASP) -- Facing a team ranked 116th in the world at home, most observers would have figured the Sarzonian national team would be on cruise control against Zvarinograd. After all, the Stars had seemingly wrested control of the second playoff position in Group 8 and had only two losses so far in qualifying.

However, most observers didn't see what went on in the locker room before the game. The Stars were reminded that Zvarinograd defeated the Stars in an away match in the second game of World Cup qualifying. They were also reminded of the team's surprising first half run through qualifying and were told that Zvarinograd was much like the Stars were in their first-ever qualifying campaign. The reminder worked, as the Stars scored early and late to win the match 2-1.

"We were expecting this to be a hard-fought contest and it certainly fit the bill," Coach Dave Wilson said. "Those guys [Zvarinograd] sure gave it their all. They're going to be a team to be reckoned with. No one's going to get an automatic win on them."

The Stars (6-1-2, 19 points) started out looking like they might blow Zvarinograd out of the running early. Forward Barry Alphonso slammed a one time bid into the top left corner of the net nine minutes in after a near perfect sequence of passing by the Sarzonian midfield and in spite of three point-blank saves from the underdog team's keeper. However, that was the last score the Stars would have in the first half in spite of launching 13 shots, seven on goal.

"Their keeper was tough," Alphonso said. "That goal feels lucky after this game."

Zvarinograd eventually weathered the storm and started pressing forward with 10 minutes to play in the first half. Their efforts bore fruit in the 39th minute thanks to an error by usually steady central defender Corey Hemby when he whiffed on a clearance attempt. The Zvarinograd playmaking midfielder took full advantage of the gaffe, buring a shot past a stunned Troy Perkins for a 1-1 draw.

Wilson exhorted his team to play with urgency at the break, screaming, "we can't lose points." The coach's pleas seemingly were ignored until the 86th minute when forward Kenny Cooper won a ball in the Zvarinograd end of the pitch and worked a wall pass with reserve midfielder Dix Porter. Cooper's goal gave the Stars three much needed points with Audioslavia continuing its unbeaten run and The Lowland Clans starting to rebound from their slow start.

"We've got to get three points against the teams lower than we are in the rankings and hope we can steal a game or two against the two higher ranked teams," Wilson said. "We've still got our work cut out for us."
Big Pimento
08-12-2004, 06:04
Group 9 Round-Up

Jerry Glasscock: Welcome to this special edition of Football Tonight, I’m Jerry Glasscock, and here’s my entertaining partner, Skip Bernardo.

Skip Bernardo: We’ve had a busy day in Group 9 today, and with qualifications now at the 2/3rds mark, we’re starting to get a sense of who the contenders and pretenders of the group are.

Glasscock: Let’s start off talking about the Bedistan Lions. The Lions were the definite odds-on favourites to win the group, but some costly slip-ups now have them in second place, with a hoard of teams nipping at their heels. Their most recent snafu, a 2-0 defeat to lowly Eystrck after the first team went down with a bad case of acid reflux.

Bernardo: Oh man, I can hear Ashlee Simpson lip-synching all the way from up here again.

Glasscock: Are you saying that Bedistan aren’t being totally truthful with regards to the acid reflux?

Bernardo: I think they clearly overlooked Eystrck and wanted to get some international experience for their “B” side. They were in a comfortable position heading into the match and were able to afford the luxury to send their second tier of players. I just don’t think the Bedistan F.A. expected their second team to get wiped out quite that bad.

Glasscock: I don’t think anyone expected Bedistan to get whipped like that at home. Any thoughts on Eystrck? Are they for real?

Bernardo: They’re now within four points of third place, but I really don’t think they can pull it off. They’ve been mired by inconsistent play all qualification and their defence gives up too many easy goals. I’d be really surprised if they finished any higher than sixth.

Glasscock: Next on the schedule we have Lovisa and Hammerund. Two teams putting up very good records and doing so very quietly. Lovisa are the current group leaders and they showed exactly why, thrashing Hammerund 3-0. Skip, is anyone gonna touch Lovisa?

Bernardo: No way. Lovisa’s been by far the most impressive team so far and I think they’re just going to ride off into the distance. They now have seven points up on second placed Bedistan and have all but booked their place into the World Cup. If I were some of the teams facing them on the final couple matchdays, I’d be salivating at the prospect of facing them. They’ll have nothing to play for and will probably be putting a diluted team on the pitch to try to give some experience to the younger players.

Glasscock: That should bode well for Bedistan.

Bernardo: Very well, Jerry. Bedistan will be at home and will likely get an easy three as a result. I can’t really see anyone beating the Lovisans until they decide to take their foot off the gas. Bedistan is simply too strong if they bring their best side, to lose to a bunch of rookies at home. Let’s hope the gas from Pedro’s House of Tacos clears up by then.

Glasscock: Speaking of Pedro, I think they still may be a bit ill from Big Pimento and Pedro Madhavapeddi’s House of Saves. He was dynamite against Bedistan and continued his strong play against Raptor Claw.

Bernardo: Yeah, he’s really coming into his own now. The whole team is playing well actually, the defence is keeping chances to a minimum, and when they do slip through, Madhavapeddi’s having a good go at stopping them. He had no chance on the lone goal he allowed tonight, that was a brilliant volley by Runni Naroun that we’ll probably be seeing as one of the goals of the tournament.

Glasscock: Big Pimento’s also getting one thing they’re not accustomed to, offence.

Bernardo: For sure, the knock on the Pimentos has always been their ineptitude towards putting the ball in the old onion bag, but they’ve had no problem doing that so far. For the first time, they have a legitimate scoring threat with Bong Jong-Il, who leads all Pimento scorers with nine. Veteran Boris Valentine is chipping in with timely goals with four to his name, and young Andrei Kristakovichlalinski Jr. has looked good, scoring three goals.

Glasscock: On the flipside, Raptor Claw has looked terrible.

Bernardo: Really, no one could have foreseen the collapse this program is currently undergoing. Many thought it was their chance to get into the World Cup after Snub Nose 38 dropped out, but they’ve dropped the ball and now they’re dead last for the group. Serious changes are going to be made over there.

Glasscock: The odd man out today was Shonar Bangla. They’ve cried foul after Bedistan’s loss, saying that they’re purposely trying to jeopardize their chances of qualification. Your thoughts?

Bernardo: I might rub some Shonar Banglans the wrong way here, but listen, you guys won’t qualify. You’ve still have the two pillars of the group, Lovisa and Bedistan coming up, and you’ve called up both of them so you know they’ll be bringing their best games. There's no conspiracy, they f*cked over every team in the group as much as they screwed up your chances, besides Lovisa. They screwed themselves over too, so stop complaining. Three through seven in the group are within four points of each other, and Shonar Bangla have one of the worst situations facing them to close the group. And don’t forget that 7-1 loss to Big Pimento, they dug themselves a big hole in terms of GD in that match.

Glasscock: So I guess the follow up question has to now be, who do you see qualifying?

Bernardo: Lovisa and Bedistan obviously go through, and it’ll be a dog fight for that third position. Raptor Claw’s got too tough a schedule to finish out and their form has been terrible. Eystrck lacks consistency, so I don’t think they’ll be able to pull a sustained run of success to close out the group. Shonar Bangla’s schedule is too tough and they have too much of a hole in terms of goal differential I think. That leaves two teams, Hammerund and Big Pimento. Hammerund’s got a game in hand on the Pimentos, but they’ve been slipping a bit after their torrid start. Meanwhile, Big Pimento has been slowly raising the level of their game, going 2-1-0 over their last three. Critical match for them will be against Lovisa, if they can steal a point or more against the Lovisans, I really like the Futility Kings’ chances.

Glasscock: But do you think they’ll steal a point against Lovisa?

Bernardo: Notta chance.

Glasscock: Well that’s all the time we have for tonight, we’ll see you later when Big Pimento comes home to take on Lovisa. Good night, folks.

Skip Bernardo’s Predicted Finishing Order
1. Lovisa
2. Bedistan
3. Hammerund
4. Big Pimento
5. Shonar Bangla
6. Eystrck
7. Raptor Claw

Jerry Glasscock’s Predicted Finishing Order
1. Lovisa
2. Bedistan
3. Big Pimento
4. Shonar Bangla
5. Hammerund
6. Raptor Claw
7. Eystrck
Fmjphoenix
08-12-2004, 07:18
Vikings spend bye time preparing for two tough games ahead of them

Vanguard, Fmjphoenix: Jorge Mendel recieves a pass from Karim Ackbar, he shots... GOAL... on Powell Lamar??? No, he wasn't traded, no they aren't playing a World Cup match today, they are practicing on their fundamentals. Today, fans lined the stands and outsides of the Viking Sports Training Complex as they watched their team practice rigorously for two very imortant, and tough matches. The first one on the plate is One Red Dot, who narrowly pulled out a victory over the Vikings 1-2. The other game of this hard stretch, is against Melmod, who trounced the Vikings 6-0, the only team to thuroughly defeat them this qualifier, and the only team to beat them by such a score. When asked about the firce and rigours training, Coach Wash had this reply.

"This is a very important stretch for our team right now. This is the first time we could qualify ifor the second round of the World Cup. Both of these teams are ahead of us in the rankings, and have both defeated us by a combined score of 8-1. Against everyone else, we are 11-5. These two are the most important matches coming up in the last few days of qualification. It is very important that we stressed this to the team and that we are going to work as hard as we can to get a victory against One Red Dot first. That is the first and formost important thing."

Also, reporters sat down and had a one-on-one interview with Captian Jorge Mendel. Here is the interview:

RS:How are you feeling after your hard workout?

JM: Quite good actually. I feel better after working out or playing. It gives me so much energy.

RS: Thats always a good thing. How do you feel about you and the teams chances against One Red Dot tommorow?

JM: Well, I think we will fare pretty well against them. The first game was a close one, going down and they barely got us 2-1. I think we will hang with them and give them a good game.

RS: What do you want to work on the most in these practices?

JM: Probably just keeping myself moving at all times. I sometimes stop moving and that gets me a little unmotivated sometimes. I feel that I need to keep myself moving in order to play at my best. Sometimes though, after a miss or I get beat, I stop and think ...that is oe thing I need to work on much. Also, I always like to work with my dribbling. I always want to be able to shake around any defender so I can get a better shot on the goal. I love scoring. Its just such a great feeling. Thats why I always try to score as much as I can.

RS: That is true, I know if I was playing I would want to score as much as I could possibly do. How did you feel the other day after your lone goal gave the Vikings a 1-0 victory over The Eagles Nest?

JM: I felt ecstatic. I was like YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To be able to play as well as we did against a team at the calibur of The Eagles Nest tells me we have a legitimate threat of qualifying. We have played much better in this qualifying round then World Cup 18, especially against TEN. Last time, we lost both against them 2-1. Now we have a 2-2 draw and 1-0 win over them. It feels good to know we defeated a great team like them.

RS: Yes like you said, the Vikings were taken as a dark horse for Group 5. Now the team is sitting tied for third in the group with TEN. Do you think that your victory over TEN may help your run to qualification?

JM: I think that it will have a big impact on the team. Beating the highest ranked team in the group obviously tells us that when we play right, we can beat any of the other teams in the group.

RS: That could be taken from that. One last question before you go back to practice, what do you predict for tommorow match?

JM: Well, I don't like to assume, but I think we will pull it off by the score they got us by, 2-1. But you didn't hear that from me.

RS: Thanks a lot Jorge. Have fun practicing and good luck!
Rejistania
08-12-2004, 10:54
Coach SyLy: I do not care whether you saw this match on TV, heard it on the radio or were live in the stadium, this match did not happen! The radio and TV broadcasts were fake and the fans in the stadium were hypnotised. You see the tables? Well, they do not show the right score, they say 2 losses when the second match did not take place at all, having one match less is the reason why we are that low. Additionally, we were deprived of the 3 points against Viliapange. This is a conspiracy! A representative of The Belmore Family TOLD that he is tired of rejistani domination and I mean, you could clearly see that. Against Eauz, the referee was substandard at best, against Kylaai, he was either high or abysmali, you decide and against The Evil Umpire, he was scared of the rocks and the garbage! No, I do not care that it were rejistani fans who threw things in the first match, it's the principle that matters! What? you were in the stadium at the time of the match? bah, it is fake, the match did take place in Bielefeld* for slani's sake and we all know that this city does not exist! it's THEM! I slani DO NOT KNOW who they are! I have no time for that question, see ye!

*OOC: in germany, there exists a parody of conspiracy theories saying Bielefeld (a german city) doesn't exist
Jeruselem
08-12-2004, 12:56
Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem reserves go hunting Moose

In a surprise, Jeruselem played it's reserve team against the only team who had beat it so far which was Runaway Moose. They only won 1-0 against this team but a win is a win in the World Cup XIX. The reserve Keeper Amin Amin was having more a holiday than hard work on the day. Goerge Boosh will also miss the next game due to doctor's orders about his injury.

Crystilakere beat tough Lethislavania 2-0 while 7JM continued to stumble copping a Iansisle hiding 6-0. The favourites rolled as Oceaice had a bye to reflect on past failures.

Group 3
Iansisle 6 - 0 7JM
Crystilakere 2 - 0 Lethislavania
Jeruselem 1 - 0 Runaway Moose
One Red Dot
08-12-2004, 16:34
Here to inform you again STOP
We earned another two easy wins STOP
2-0 against Lennon Marx and Phazania STOP
Our next match is against Fmjphoenix STOP
We expect another easy win STOP
Even if it is on their turf STOP

WC19 Grp5 P W D L F-A T
1. Melmond 8 5 3 0 20-3 18
2. One Red Dot 8 5 3 0 13-5 18
3. The Eagle's Nest 8 3 2 3 15-11 11
4. Fmjphoenix 7 3 1 3 12-13 10
5. Phazania 7 2 3 2 8-11 9
6. Kipto-Mare 8 1 1 6 3-15 4
7. Lennon Marx 8 0 3 5 2-15 3
Vilita
08-12-2004, 17:06
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif

Zucchini Dinner

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
Vilita Goalscorers::
29' Santo Kecker
59' Serge DuPont
75' Umberto Melli
80' Callum Banda


http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

-------------------


Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Callum Banda
Worst Player: Jonathon Stott
Shots on Target: 11
Corner Kicks: 13


http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif
Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Delain Falcón, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [D] Ricky Ezis, [D] Tanner Lembi, [DMC] Jürgen Ramzi, [ML] Antonis Siazzu, [MC] Umberto Melli, [MC] Santo Kecker, [MR] Jonathon Stott, [FC] Serge DuPont, [FC] Callum Banda,
BENCH::
[FC] Germán Salomón, [FC] Carmine Mbidzo, [M] Calaesa Mitaroka, [M] Sublé Tonic, [U] Petros Alfieri, [D] Christos Tchami, [GK] Alioum Mané,

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Delain Falcón >>> Alioum Mané
(45) - Jaloey Afrikka >>> Petros Alfieri
(64) - Santo Kecker >>> Sublé Tonic
EL CID THE HERO
08-12-2004, 19:32
EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

New side, new style, same victory

EL CID THE HERO 4 (Kraid 12 ,Gruber 34,76 kan 56)
Sliponia 0

With the new side now tried and tested the analyses is that the new lions are as good as the old.

As the lions continued to extend their winning streak in a fantastic display of football skill. It all began in the 12th min when Prog Kraid, a fantastic player and a respected player in his home country, used all his strength and skill too by-passed the Sliponia's defenders, by-passed the keeper and by-passed the posts. 1-0

22 min later Gruber, another new comer, got a penalty kick from a harsh tackle on Dent. Gruber sent the keeper the wrong was and just pocked it into the net. 2-0

with something of a goal feast going on it took a wile for the next goal to come. but when it did all agreed it was worth the wait. in the 56 min Kan from his own half ran passed 8 players of the Sliponia team and from the left flank outside the box and belted it passed the keeper. 3-0.

On the stroke of the 76th Gruber cemented his right to be called into the side for the next WC by kicking a superb shot from 30 yards and the keeper just couldn't get to it. 4-0

After the match Jonny Dommhammer said he was happy with the match.

"yes the start was a bit shaky and yes it was quite a easy opposition but i still say my team performed well"

with the Legalese game next the nation is asking if Kan can prove to them who's the side that deserved to win. will he?

READ AND YOU WILL FIND

MD8
EL CID THE HERO 1 - 0 Munchkinloopa

MD9
Sliponia 0 - 4 EL CID THE HERO

MD10
EL CID THE HERO Vs Legalese

MD11
Chonchland Vs EL CID THE HERO

MD12
The Weegies Vs EL CID THE HERO

MD13
EL CID THE HERO Vs Kaze Progressa

MD14
NEWI Cefn Druids Vs EL CID THE HERO
Sarzonia
08-12-2004, 19:56
Group 8 Stretch Run

Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of the Stars' Universe, brought to you by the Portland Iron Works. I'm Jessica Spencer filling in for Joe Brandt today. Here's your look at the Group 8 standings in qualifiers for World Cup 19:

Group 8----------
[1] Audioslavia 9 8 1 0 23-6 25
[2] Sarzonia 9 6 1 2 20-10 19
[3] The Lowland Clans 9 5 0 4 12-9 15
4- Slaikau 9 4 1 4 13-13 13
5- Lykaia 9 4 1 4 13-13 13
6- Zvarinograd 9 4 0 5 14-19 12
7- Antixilian Fatwah 9 2 0 7 7-15 6
8- Middle March 9 1 0 8 9-25 3

As you can see, Audioslavia is holding true to its form as the sixth ranked team in the world. They've only had one blemish on their unbeaten mark, that 1-1 tie with the Stars. They look like they'll be on cruise control to the World Cup finals.

Meanwhile, Sarzonia is holding on to a four point lead over The Lowland Clans for second place in the group. They're also six points clear of Slaikau and Lykaia for the third spot. They've got a couple more matches against the lower ranked teams in the group, but they'd better not look past Slaikau or Antixilian Fatwah or they could be in trouble when Audioslavia and The Lowland Clans come calling.

Speaking of The Lowland Clans, they seem to be stabilizing at just the right time after their horrible start to the qualifying campaign. They are starting to play like the 18th ranked team in the world is supposed to play, so they'll be dangerous in the late stages. Luckily, we're getting them in Hendrix Stadium in Woodstock. That's about the biggest home field advantage we have in Sarzonia.

Neck and neck in fourth place, just two points behind The Lowland Clans are surprise team Slaikau and Lykaia. Lykaia are expected to be near qualifying, but Slaikau have been impressive thus far and gave the Stars two tough games. This one could shape up to be an interesting battle, especially if one of the top three collapse.

Perhaps even more surprising than Slaikau are footballing newcomers Zvarinograd, who are only one point back of fourth place and three points behind the third playoff spot. They defeated Sarzonia at home and barely lost to us away in a game that was almost moved to Hendrix. They'll be a team on the rise in a few years if they can keep true to their program.

Antixilian Fatwah are an Atlantian Oceania team that isn't playing like one right now, but they've been taking their new team lumps now. Perhaps they'll be able to overcome those down the road and become a football power someday. We'll see.

Middle March have been the whipping boys of the group, taking only one game and losing the rest. They've had some close results, but Sarzonia were able to blow them out twice.

It looks like Audioslavia is all but guaranteed to go through to the World Cup, but Sarzonia will have to overcome its history of collapsing in the second half of the qualifying schedule. I'm going to predict that they will and they'll take the second spot. That third spot is looking too close to call right now, but with The Lowland Clans starting to play better football, it's going to be tough to count them out, so I'm going to play a hunch and say they go through as the third and final team from Group 8.

Stay tuned for more great football action from your Sarzonian national team. Back to you Cliff.

"The weather outlook for today..."
Total n Utter Insanity
08-12-2004, 21:41
EL CEAD.
NEWS THAT YOU CAN READ.

sporty news

Same side, same style, OMG a victory!?

Total n Utter Insanity 3 Anglevia 1

WE ROCK, MORE THAN WE HAVE! BLAH BLAH BLAH. DETAILS & STUFF. WE SCORED, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN. WOOOOOOOOO!

READ AND YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF DEAF

MD10
Hisam AWAY

MD11
Pterodactyl HOME

MD12
Liverpool England AWAY

MD13
Aquiliana HOME

MD14
Wella AWAY
Hiiraan
08-12-2004, 21:47
A Hiiraan Disaster!,
A satellite disaster, the largest in Africa.

Today we are having our first communication outside Hiiraan, our sports analyst have been given weeks and days off due to a Hiiraanian satellite tragedy, today the Hiiraanian X9 3500 satellite was fixed, the satellite has crashed about 3 weeks ago, when a neighboring nation, phazinia send its satellite up, they have done this because they are new to the NSWC and wanted to have effective communication like us. Unfortunately they have crashed into ours and made our satellite go down, we have are now communicating to you through a fixed system, where a fixing astronauts and a change satellite were fixed.


DUE to the team being left alone, the Hiiraanian side has lost communication with their team, and now are having first contact communication wit the team, the last thing they told us is that they have lost, due to the support or the lack of support from the home nation, they have told us they are in a state of shock and they are still continuing the team efforts, despite having the worst or one of the worst records so far, the president has promised to make sure this action or what happened never to happen.

The team has also informed us that they have only tied once, in the frantic actions, the team went to say that they are the last in the group and one of their group members has withdrawn, they have also informed us that there are lot of change coming, including a change in rule 21.

Hiiraan has send couple of more satellites that re automated fixing machines and they are still having trouble communicating.

Hiiraan wants to bring the damaged satellite and replace it with a new one, this one will be required to take a jet hit, and still survive.
Cockbill Street
08-12-2004, 21:56
ANKH-MORPORK INQUIRER

C-mail in Bribe Scandal?
Rejistanian Team To Be Hanged Due To Hangila-system

"Slani." Ask anyone in KaMaRi kali how they feel at the moment about the Rejistani football team and that - with variations - is probably the answer you will get. Rejistania have lost three of eight qualifying games - two to the previously unknown, small nation of Adam Island, and one to Eauz - and in addition drawn 3-3 with Kylaai, in a match that ruined everybody's hope about the Rejistanian team. Because, as you will probably know, in Rejistania it is "better to draw 0-0 than lose 5-6" - and hence the System Karela has ruled both the Rejistanian domestic league (H1SR) and the national team, and led it to success after success to the groans of Streetian fans who want a good game of football, not hanging around for a penalty in the 90th minute or some freak corner kick goal.

So what has happened? Well, Syku Lyku - you may remember him, he scored a ton of goals against the Street in a Cup of Harmony back in the mists of time (this is the point where you think: well, everybody do that...) - affectionately known as SyLy has taken over the national team, and as a striker, he's got fed up with the two-shots-in-a-match policy. As a result, Rejistania have conceded, on average, 1.87 goals per match - more than any other team in the group bar hapless Hiiraan. And the team aren't scoring any more either, they're just taking more risks with their shots.

And this, the Inquirer has unravelled, may have ties back to the Street. Just like Siki Rej, that old criminal, thought he had duped us into becoming the saviour of Streetian football before giving up the secrets of the Hexatux machine to the Rejistani coach, sources inside the XSR (the Rejistani football association) that the venerable Ankh-Morpork C-mail, and more precisely journalist Robert Haggers, have involved themselves in the day to day running of the XSR. By ploughing in some of the profits from their football reports, they have apparently pursued their own agenda by buying themselves commercial spots around the Rejistani stadium, and also given under-the-table money to Mr Lyku personally, they have been paying for the Rejistanians to play attacking football - so that the C-mail could gloat over the fact that Streetian ideas of football isn't working, as they have been spraying in columns after every single game the Streetians played, it has seemed. Mr Haggers would not respond when the Inquirer confronted him with these facts, and the C-mail have been very secret about it all. Meanwhile, the citizens of KaMaRi kali are biting their nails, waiting for the world's strongest team (according to the KPB world ranking system, at any rate), to miss out on the World Cup for the first time in over thirty years.

In other news, the Streetians won 4-1 against Huahin and 2-0 against The Immaculate Youth, and are catching up with the better teams in Group Two. Having passed Haperd already - whom they will be playing next week - Cockbill Street are now only one point off the qualifying spots, currently held by Commerce Heights, Oddslavo and Svecia.

The Inquirer ratings for the Huahin game: Underwood 6 - Joyce 5, Galena 6 (Stronginthearm on 69), Dwarfclobberer 6, Walker 5 - Keegan 6, Stewart 7, Heimfoething 6, Cawdron 6 - Peters 6, Stubbings 7

HUAHIN 1 (??? 78)
COCKBILL STREET 4 (Stubbings 11, Cawdron 37, Galena 50, Peters 72)

The Inquirer ratings for The Immaculate Youth game: Havell 6 - Joyce 6, Jones 6, Dwarfclobberer 5, Walker 7 - Keegan 5 (McLavish on 81), Stewart 6 (Bitton on 70), Heimfoething 6, Cawdron 5 - Peters 5, Wharton 6 (Stubbings on 85)

COCKBILL STREET 2 (Heimfoething 9, Cawdron 11)
THE IMMACULATE YOUTH 0
Snub Nose 38
08-12-2004, 21:57
ANOTHER HUGE HEADLINE BREAKS FREE AND ROLLS THROUGH THE FROST-FREE BORDERLANDS OF SNUB NOSE 38!

Shrubbery damaged! Laundry lines knocked down! Chaos! Confusion!

Lawsuits to follow...
Vilita
08-12-2004, 22:02
==========Matchday 10 Scores & Tables Whiooooppiieee!========
Shonar Bangla
08-12-2004, 22:33
Murshidabad-- How they wish to prove Big Pimiento wrong after being written off carelessly, but alas, it is impossible. Shonar Bangla were crushed again, this time by Lovisa, with a score of 0-4, at home. A furious mob of a crowd began throwing beer bottles at the field, but thanks to the plexiglass shield, tragedy was averted.

Today was Shonar Bangla's chance to move ahead of Big Pimiento, but as predicted earlier, a defeat was inevitable today. Now, even Raptor Claw is ahead of Shonar Bangla, but that will be fixed soon, definitely. Tomorrow, the team will lock horns with Bedistan away, hopefully their team is still sick to hand Shonar Bangla the victory. Tomorrow will be yet another chance for Shonar Bangla to advance itself to tie Big Pimiento (who we assume will be handed a loss by Lovisa). Meanwhile, Hammerund will again resume its position at third place with a victory over Raptor Claw.

The team is currently flying to Bedistan, for a tough challenge that they MUST win to keep their fate in their own hands. They are down, but not out, not yet!!
Sarzonia
08-12-2004, 22:35
Stars edge closer to Cup berth, 3-0

Sarzonia had a tough time with sixth seeded Slaikau in the first meeting between the teams, needing an own goal by a Skaikau defender in the 84th minute to prevail at the Iron Bowl in Portland. The Stars made things look much easier in the road leg, scoring all three goals before the match was 20 minutes old and throttling Slaikau 3-0.

"We seem to be starting to round into form a bit more," Coach Dave Wilson said. "We've still got some work to do before we get where I want this team to be, but we're on the right track."

The Stars (7-1-2, 22 points) got a goal from forward Brian Wilson after he outhustled the same Slaikau defender who scored the own goal for the ball and fed a quick cross to midfielder Bobby Convey. Convey dribbled in and deftly passed the ball back to Wilson for the finish and a 1-0 lead four minutes in.

"It was just a matter of wanting the ball there," Wilson said. "I wanted it more than he did."

Seemingly just after the team finished celebrating that goal, Wilson struck again, nodding in a head ball after a Darwin Russell cross in the sixth minute. Ten minutes later, Russell combined with Convey on the third goal and the Slaikau coach benched his goalkeeper. The Stars kept applying pressure, but were victims of their own misfortune as they fired wide on 13 of 16 shots the rest of the match. They were unable to dent the scoreboard again the rest of the ballgame, but Slaikau could offer little resistance.

-
Group 8--------- -
[1] Audioslavia 10 9 1 0 27-6 28
[2] Sarzonia 10 7 1 2 23-10 22
[3] The Lowland Clans 10 6 0 4 13-9 18
4- Lykaia 10 5 1 4 18-14 16
5- Slaikau 10 4 1 5 13-16 13
6- Zvarinograd 10 4 0 6 14-20 12
7- Antixilian Fatwah 10 2 0 8 8-20 6
8- Middle March 10 1 0 9 9-30 3


Audioslavia continue their unbeaten ways and now have all but clinched a spot in the World Cup with fourth place Lykaia 12 points back with four games left to play.

Sarzonia remain six points clear of Lykaia for a playoff spot and four points ahead of The Lowland Clans for second place. They are also on the outskirts of contention for first place in the group. The team is on a modest three match winning streak.

The Lowland Clans continue their resurgence that has seen them wrest third place from Lykaia. They continue to stay within hailing distance of second place Sarzonia.

Lykaia's win keeps them still in the chase for the World Cup berth but they're going to have to keep getting results and also get help from other teams to advance.

Slaikau were flattened in their most recent match and now face an uphill battle to go through. They're not out of it by any means, but they will need Margaret's blessings.

Zvarinograd continue to play tougher than their ranking suggests, but their loss leaves them six points behind third place. Not impossible, but they'll have to make a strong run.

Antixilian Fatwah are all but eliminated, needing 12 points to draw level with The Lowland Clans for third place in the group, plus a complete disaster for The Lowland Clans. They would also need to make up a -16 goal differential.

Middle March have received their marching orders to go home after four more matches. They are mathematically eliminated from World Cup contention.
Lethislavania
08-12-2004, 23:47
Lethislavania Fighting Green

Lethislavania was crushed, the weight of the losses building up, a massive lead weight ready to destroy the poor country beneath it. No fans showed up for the game, none so whatever. The team asked for it specifically, as Aroyyo saw this as a practice game, no longer a tournament. The skeleton arena echoed, it's grey stands almost chilling. In the background, dark coloured clowds billowed in, ushering a ridiculous amount of rain far-off.

Taking the field, the game began, every grunt, kick, squel, cough echoing in the stadium. It was so quiet at times you could hear the soft rumbling of the massive thunderstorms in the distance. Thomas Boeing slowly went up the field, as small droplets of rain began to drop. Heading forward, he turned and lofted the ball over to Cel. Karra dribbled forward, then shot it back. Exploding in a massive burst of energy, Thomas headed the ball into the goal, edging off a 1-0 lead. The bench quietly clapped, a small noise compared to the storm brewing just outside. Aroyyo laughed hoarsely, his voice now leaving him. Little did he know this was the throat cancer his father had, seeping into his own perfect life.

Joyously, the Lethislavania team re-took the field, claps exchanging. The Iansisle team grimaced, and Will Browne shot off with the ball as the whistle was blown. He plowed through the defense and arced a long shot towards. It looked like it would be an easy catch, but at the last second it curved, spiraling away from Jorge, into the lower-left hand corner of the net. Iansisle erupted, theit team tying it up. Will pumped his fist triumphantly, knowing he had transfered the momentum.

The next to scores were much the same, even though the storm was growing in intensity. Within two minutes of each other, Will Browne scored two more curve shots, acing up a hat trick easily. It began to pour, droplets shooting down upon the squads. The retractable roof slowly hinged over, and the rain turned to mitallic patters on the metal ceiling.

Ending the first half, Lethislavania hit the locker room for a little heart-to-heart with coach. Aroyyo glared, and wrote his message on the board. "I do not care. - My team." He sat down and waited, but no mouth uttered a word.

After I left the stadium, the game finished with Iansisle scoring two more goals and Thomas scratching up another one, to take him to 16 Goals and 3 Assists this tournament. (Excluding the BoF, of course.)