NationStates Jolt Archive

From the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator, New Rome
http://members.optusnet.com.au/a_marrington/ns/pantocratoria.jpg

To the Governments of all Nations,

You are cordially invited to the wedding of His Imperial Highness the Prince Joseph, son of Emperor David IV of the Holy Empire of Excalbia, to Her Imperial Highness the Princess Anna, daughter of Emperor Andreus I of the Holy Empire of Pantocratoria.

Any nation which bears the Empires of Pantocratoria and Excalbia good will, is invited to send a representative to attend the wedding at the Cathedral of Christ Pantocrator in New Rome, and the reception afterwards (in a surprise location within Pantocratoria). Any individual who considers themselves a friend of either of their Imperial Highnesses is invited to attend as well.

Warmest regards to you all,

ANDREUS I IMP. PANTOCRATORIA


OOC: This is the follow-up to the Courtship of Princess Anna - http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=76458

<<TAG for later post>>

As part of the connubial festitivies, the Imperial Family will be putting on a very special production of The Mikado by Gilbert and Sullivan... themselves. The performance will take place at the Isaac V Opera House in New Rome. As well as all wedding guests, and the Pantocratorian nobility, ordinary Pantocratorians will be given tickets through a lottery, and will be welcome to witness one of the rare events on which the Imperial Family lets down its distinguished hair. Hope to see you there!

Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator, New Rome

In Excalbia, the Imperial Court is preparing to depart for Pantocratoria for the wedding festivities. At the appropriate time, they will arrive with great pomp.

I am affraid that nobody in Trasa can come, but we wish the couple the best of luck

The palace would like Prince Joseph of Excalbia to play the part of "Nanki Poo" in The Mikado. Princess Anna will be playing the part of "Yum Yum". The rest of the cast will remain a secret until opening night.

There will, of course, be more conventional celebrations as well.

The Emperor Kienny I of Holy Latin Empire is sending a high level delegation. The Emperor cannot travel on aircraft due to a genetic weakness which might end up in dying from DVT.

Cardinal Brown and the Latin Patriarch as well as Inquisitor Lucius III will attend as they are already on your nation (other RPs).

The Grand Duchy of Athel Nora is sending a delegation and if political matters do not keep him, the Grand Duke himself may appear.

We thank the Holy Latin Empire, Jeruselem, and the Grand Duchy of Athel Nora for accepting our invitations. The happy couple also thank the people of Soviet Trasa for their goodwill.

All guests will be accommodated in the Nicephorean Palace just outside New Rome. The Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator itself will too crowded to accommodate our guests in an appropriate fashion. The Nicephorean Palace is one of the oldest buildings in New Rome, built in the Byzantine style. It is, of course, fitted with all appropriate modern amnenities, but is illustrative of the Byzantine heritage of the Pantocratorian people.

We hope you will be very comfortable in the Nicephorean Palace during your stay in New Rome,

Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator, New Rome

The palace would like Prince Joseph of Excalbia to play the part of "Nanki Poo" in The Mikado. Princess Anna will be playing the part of "Yum Yum". The rest of the cast will remain a secret until opening night.

There will, of course, be more conventional celebrations as well.

While Prince Joseph has never been known for his voice, he would be happy to take on the role of "Nanki Poo." In fact, he can't imagine anyone playing the part opposite Princess Anna.

<<TAG:: Will post tommorow>>

In an effort to repair Elven and Human relations, General Theallas asks if he will be welcomed at this happy event.

(OOC: This was sent in Latin, Church (or Medeval) Latin.)

OOC: There is no reason to send it in Latin, we can read English here, and in fact, we prefer French.

IC: General Theallas is, of course, welcome, as are all other national leaders.

OOC::: ok, I'm sending a vampire to your nation. A not hostile one(vampire run nation). But... I can't send one during the day. So.. could you give me a little help here? Or can't I attend then?

OOC: Well, everyone's welcome, but one imagines that a vampire might have problems with the wedding occuring during the day, in a Church, etc. Just a thought.

Obviously the festivities extend over a much longer period than just the days, so there's some night-time entertainment for a vampiric character to enjoy. As to the sort of reaction such a character might get from the ordinary Pantocratorian, or from other guests for that matter...

What do you need help with if you do want to come?

OOC: There is no reason to send it in Latin, we can read English here, and in fact, we prefer French.

IC: General Thelas is, of course, welcome, as are all other national leaders.

OOC: it is General [b]Theallas[/i] :) . And Theallas has been trying to get the hang of medeival latin.

OOC: There is no reason to send it in Latin, we can read English here, and in fact, we prefer French.

IC: General Thelas is, of course, welcome, as are all other national leaders.

OOC: it is General [b]Theallas[/i] :) . And Theallas has been trying to get the hang of medeival latin.

OOC: Fixed! I couldn't decide originally between "General Theallas" and "The Butcher of Thelas", so that's how you probably ended up with your country name instead of your character name there! :lol: Plus, at a glance, I didn't notice it before I hit submit! :oops:

If it is welcomed President Allenson and his wife would like to accept the invitation to the wedding.

If it is welcomed President Allenson and his wife would like to accept the invitation to the wedding.

Their Excellencies would be most welcome.

Very well perperation will be made for their departure.

-Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Slutbum Wallah-

"Do we bear the the Empires of Pantocratoria and Excalbia good will?"

"Um... my mother-in-law was Pantocratorian."

"That's a no then?"

"Hang on.. the files say we accidentally sent a bottle of fish paste to the Excalibian Imperial palace once. Does that count?"

"Depends if they sent a formal note of acceptance and thanks. Did they?"

"They sent us a bottle of fish paste."

"Did we accept it."

"Aha! Yes we did. According to record 55(f)-12 we accepted the gift and thanked them by donating a bottle of fish paste to the Excalabian Imperial Orphanage."

"The paste would be pretty whiffy by then wouldn't it?"

"It's alright. They sent it back. It's currently residing in the staff refrigerator."
"Then it's decided. We celebrate the wedding and show our blessing by sending a gift to the newly-weds."

"A gift? The budget ran dry three weeks ago. How are we going to get a gift?"

"Send the fish paste."

The ground crew hurried to the ladder connected to the plan, so that it’s passengers could depart. Waiting at the bottom of the ladder impatiently stood President Allenson, and his wife Susan Clrackson.

Jade emerged from the plane to see that her parents where there to greet her. However, from the look on their faces, she was going to be in trouble. She had no choice but to make her way down to them. For a moment the three just stood there in awkward silence.

Allenson was the first to break the silence. “Your over due by two day, where have you been.” She could hear the anger in his voice.

“Um..” she tried to find the right word “I got side tracked. I’m sorry”

Her father stuttered some words in anger, nothing definable, he instead decided just place his hand on his forehead. Susan gave him a look. The kind to tell him to be quiet.

Jade chuckled to herself, but was silenced when she got the same look. “You be quiet” said her mother “I am most disappointed in you right now. We have to leave right now if we are going to make it on time. Jade every thing you will need is on Eagle One.” She pauses for a moment looking at both her daughter and husband. “Now this is our first family vacation, and we are going to enjoy it. Now lets get on the plane. We can talk later. For the moment We are expect in Pantocratoria”

<Transmission from Inquisitor Simon Darquis to Prince Joseph>

Congratulations, my friend. I wish you joy of her. Many happy returns, and the blessing of the Church on you both.

A word of warning. If you ever, ever harm her, not a force on this planet, or any other planet for that matter, would be able to protect you from my wrath. Am I clear?

I will do my best to attend the wedding, but I am involved in a troublesome case here. Give my love to Anna.

Oh yes. If you go to the Roanian embassy, and tell them I sent you, they have a gift for you...

<End>

Simon sighed and looked at the two rings that he had been sent. "Well, your highness," He said, addressing a picture of the sender, Prince Alexander Black, ruler of Roania, "They won't do me any good, but who knows."

<BUMP>

<Transmission from Inquisitor Simon Darquis to Prince Joseph>

Congratulations, my friend. I wish you joy of her. Many happy returns, and the blessing of the Church on you both.

A word of warning. If you ever, ever harm her, not a force on this planet, or any other planet for that matter, would be able to protect you from my wrath. Am I clear?

I will do my best to attend the wedding, but I am involved in a troublesome case here. Give my love to Anna.

Oh yes. If you go to the Roanian embassy, and tell them I sent you, they have a gift for you...

<End>



Joseph looked at the printed text quizzically. He had seriously underestimated Simon’s character when they first met – but then Simon’s attempts at intimidation had reinforced that view. But, Joseph was certainly willing to let bygones be bygones and accept the friendship the Roanian offered. He typed a reply.

>Simon, thank you for your good wishes. I assure you that I will never harm Anna. Indeed, caring for her will be chief occupation from now on. I hope you will be able to attend the wedding and I will pass your greetings to Anna.<

After he sent his message, Joseph headed for the Roanian Embassy. Finding himself sometime later at the front gates, he hits the buzzer. When a voice answers, he speaks into the intercom. “Prince Joseph of Excalbia. Inquisitor Simon Darquis has sent me. He has told me that he has left something for me here…”

The gates slid open. A guard walked out. "Yes. Actually, three things. Number one... this transcript of an upper virginian trying to hire us to kill you."

"Simon will give you the other objects himself."

OOC: Sorry haven't had a lot of time to rp yet but Harper and JJ will be their.

Joseph takes the transcripts with a stunned look on his face. "An Upper Virginian trying to... me... but?" He knew relations had soured with the Dominion - they had never been cordial, but this. This was unprecedented. "Why did they come to you?" They're certainly not about to answer that, dummy!

"Is Simon here? You say he has something for me as well?"

Simon walked out. "Ah, Joseph." He wiped a tear away. "Here... You'll get more use out of them than I will. Consider them my wedding present."

He passed Joseph the diamond rings.

Simon walked out. "Ah, Joseph." He wiped a tear away. "Here... You'll get more use out of them than I will. Consider them my wedding present."

He passed Joseph the diamond rings.

Joseph accepts the gift with a bow . He looks at the rings, then at Simon. "Simon, these are beautiful. You honor us with your present. I'm sure they have some special significance. Are you sure you want to part with them?"

"Well, his Highness will have a fit if I give them to you... and my sister would kill me if I come back unmarried... but I can't think of a better person to have them."

Joseph bows again. "You sir are truly a gentleman. I humbly accept your gracious gift. Perhaps, and I hope this is not too forward and overly familiar, you might consider being one of my groom's men? My father, the Emperor, expects my cousin to be my Best Man, my it would honor me to have you stand with me at the wedding."

A man, a Borgirian human, stepped down the Aelosian vessel. No elves were with him. No guards, no attendants. He wore the blazon of the Imperial House of Hyral in his chest, and have a little, delicate decorated, box held in front of him, and a long, slim package hanging in his back. He approaches the guards, saying in a perfect english "I'm here representing the Imperial House of Aelosia. I have a gift to the Prince Joseph, and another one to Princess Anna. Where can I find them?".

"Her Imperial Highness the Princess Anna may be found in the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator. His Imperial Highness the Prince Joseph can either be found there or at the Excalbian embassy, sir." says the guard.

"So, where can I put this?, or do I need to left this in my own embassy?", says the Borgirian.

In a last minute rush, Prime Minister Meulman accompanied by his Foreign Affairs Minister and the well givings and happiness of the nation of Meulmania arrive for the ceremony. Domestic affairs were to be handled by Vice President Fyall while he was away. It was too be a grand occasion by the sounds of it.

The Meulmanian entourage brought the finest Meulmanian silver as a wedding gift for the new couple and a sign of good will between nations. Having previously not had much to do with the new couple before only the best gift would suffice.

Fortunately the Meulmanian entourage were able to arrive for the wedding with ample time. The Prime Minister hoped that he would be able to personally meet the two before the ceremony was done.

"Well, any gifts can be left at the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator." says the guard. "Can I help you carry anything sir?"

"Yes, please take this", says the man, giving to the guard the long package in his back "It's kind of fragile, please take care of it".

The guard takes the package.

"Shall I lead the way to the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator, sir?" asks the Guard. "And after that, I can lead you to the Nicephorean Palace."

"Of course, I will follow you", says the Borgirian "This looks like a quiet country, I don't know which was the problem of coming here".

Aelosia, I feel we have met before but I am not sure where? Could it have been the Ye Olde Arms shop? It is an honour to meet you again at such a regal occasion.

Aelosia, I feel we have met before but I am not sure where? Could it have been the Ye Olde Arms shop? It is an honour to meet you again at such a regal occasion.

Thank you for the kind words, however, I don't recall meeting you, but yes, I posted in the shop thread...

Now I remember I was urrrrr.... interested in some antiques to take home for my nations ummmm National Museum. Yes that was it. Well I think I might follow you to the event as I always get lost in other nations, cultural barriers make asking for directions a real pain.

All guests are escorted to the Nicephorean Palace, and any gifts they might have are taken to the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator. This evening all guests are invited to the Imperial family's production of The Mikado!

"Oh, I'm just a courier", says the Borgirian, "I just came here to bring the gifts for the Royal couple. I was hired for that job, but who's going to play Yum-Yum part anyway?"

Princess Anna will be playing Yum-Yum, and Prince Joseph will be playing Nanki-Poo. But the palace hasn't released the rest of the cast yet.

Everyone gathers at the Isaac V Operahouse in New Rome...

The orchestra starts playing the overture. As it finishes, the curtain sweeps back, and an all-male chorus stands on the stage dressed as Japanese nobles, with the backdrop of a courtyard in Titipu. They start to sing!

CHORUS: If you want to know who we are,
We are gentlemen of Japan:
On many a vase and jar--
On many a screen and fan,
We figure in lively paint:
Our attitude's queer and quaint--
You're wrong if you think it ain't, oh!

If you think we are worked by strings,
Like a Japanese marionette,
You don't understand these things:
It is simply Court etiquette.
Perhaps you suppose this throng
Can't keep it up all day long?
If that's your idea, you're wrong, oh, oh!
If that's your idea, you're wrong.

If you want to know who we are,
We are gentlemen of Japan:
On vase and jar--
On screen and fan,
On many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, a jar, oh! oh! oh! oh!
On vase and jar,
On screen and fan.

A young man dressed as a Japanese minstrel steps forward. The crowd starts applauding as they realise it is none other than Prince Joseph.

NANKI-POO (Prince Joseph): Gentlemen, I pray you tell me
Where a gentle maiden dwelleth,
Named Yum-Yum, the ward of Ko-Ko?
In pity speak, oh speak I pray you!

A noble steps forward:
NOBLE: Why, who are you who ask this question?

NANKI-POO: Come gather round me, and I'll tell you.

...The production of The Mikado has begun!

Inquisitor Lucius III and the Latin Patriarch watched on (Cardinal Brown is at the Cardinal's Conference) and looked bemused. "I prefer Opera, but Japanese stuff is weird" the Patriarch nudged Lucius.

A Pantocratorian courtier seated next to the Patriarch snickers.

"Your Beatitude," the courtier whispers. "The Mikado is a British musical comedy written by Gilbert and Sullivan."

He turns to the courtier next to him and unsubtly rolls his eyes.

A Pantocratorian courtier seated next to the Patriarch snickers.

"Your Beatitude," the courtier whispers. "The Mikado is a British musical comedy written by Gilbert and Sullivan."

He turns to the courtier next to him and unsubtly rolls his eyes.

Lucius nudged The Patriarch "I guess you better research your comedies better, eh?".

OOC: Well, everyone's welcome, but one imagines that a vampire might have problems with the wedding occuring during the day, in a Church, etc. Just a thought.

Obviously the festivities extend over a much longer period than just the days, so there's some night-time entertainment for a vampiric character to enjoy. As to the sort of reaction such a character might get from the ordinary Pantocratorian, or from other guests for that matter...

What do you need help with if you do want to come?

Well, I don't need help. Narack isn't afraid of religious symbols. They do not hurt him. And well, I can't attend the wedding seeing it's during the day... But I'll show up on the festivities.

The Borgirian was seeing tha play, amused. "I'm just wondering if they're going to play the version with the Mikado song or the one without it, however, the pantocratorians have a good taste in theatre".

OOC: I saw a movie about "The Mikado" yesterday, this is funny :D

OOC: I've seen that film too, but I've never heard of a production of The Mikado which skips "A More Humane Mikado" - I believe that despite Gilbert's initial misgivings, it has since become a permanent fixture of the musical.

PS I hope Excalbia doesn't mind if I go ahead and play Joseph for him in the play! :)

IC:
http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/mikado/webopera/nank.gif
Prince Joseph steps forward with his vaguely Japanese looking lute and starts singing.

NANKI-POO: A wandering minstrel I--
A thing of shreds and patches,
Of ballads, songs and snatches,
And dreamy lullaby!

My catalogue is long,
Through every passion ranging,
And to your humours changing
I tune my supple song!
I tune my supple song!

Are you in sentimental mood?
I'll sigh with you,
Oh, sorrow!
On maiden's coldness do you brood?
I'll do so, too--
Oh, sorrow, sorrow!
I'll charm your willing ears
With songs of lovers' fears,
While sympathetic tears
My cheeks bedew!
Oh, sorrow, sorrow!

But if patriotic sentiment is wanted,
I've patriotic ballads cut and dried;
For where'er our country's banner may be planted,
All other local banners are defied!
Our warriors, in serried ranks assembled,
Never quail--or they conceal it if they do--
And I shouldn't be surprised if nations trembled
Before the mighty troops, the troops of Titipu!

And if you call for a song of the sea,
We'll heave the capstan round,
With a yeo heave ho, for the wind is free,
Her anchor's a-trip and her helm's a-lee,
Hurrah for the homeward bound!

To lay aloft in a howling breeze
May tickle a landsman's taste,
But the happiest hour a sailor sees
Is when he's down
At an inland town,
With his Nancy on his knees, yeo ho!
And his arm around her waist!

A wandering minstrel I--
A thing of shreds and patches,
Of ballads, songs and snatches,
And dreamy lullaby, and dreamy lula lulaby, lulaby!

At this time, Prince Constantine dressed in the outfit of a Japanese official steps onto the stage. The crowd applauds. The two princes speak.

PISH TUSH (Prince Constantine): And what may be your business with Yum-Yum?

NANK: I'll tell you. A year ago I was a member of the Titipu town band. It was my duty to take the cap round for contributions. While discharging this delicate office, I saw Yum-Yum. We loved each other at once, but she was betrothed to her guardian Ko-Ko, a cheap tailor, and I saw that my suit was hopeless. Overwhelmed with despair, I quitted the town. Judge of my delight when I heard, a month ago, that Ko-Ko had been condemned to death for flirting! I hurried back at once, in the hope of finding Yum-Yum at liberty to listen to my protestations.

PISH: It is true that Ko-Ko was condemned to death for flirting, but he was reprieved at the last moment, and raised to the exalted rank of Lord High Executioner under the following remarkable circumstances:

Prince Constantine begins to sing, rather well in fact!

PISH-TUSH:Our great Mikado, virtuous man,
When he to rule our land began,
Resolved to try
A plan whereby
Young men might best be steadied.

So he decreed, in words succinct,
That all who flirted, leered or winked
(Unless connubially linked),
Should forthwith be beheaded, beheaded, beheaded
Should forthwith be beheaded.

And I expect you'll all agree
That he was right to so decree.
And I am right,
And you are right,
And all is right as right can be!

CHORUS: And you are right.
And we are right,
And all is right, is right as right can be!
And all is right as right can be!
right as right can be!

PISH-TUSH: This stern decree, you'll understand,
Caused great dismay throughout the land!
For young and old
And shy and bold
Were equally affected.
The youth who winked a roving eye,
Or breathed a non-connubial sigh,
Was thereupon condemned to die--
He usually objected, objected, objected,
He usually objected.

And you'll allow, as I expect,
That he was right to so object.
And I am right,
And you are right,
And everything is quite correct!

CHORUS: And you are right,
And we are right,
And everything is quite, is quite correct,
And everything is quite correct,
All is quite correct!

PISH-TUSH: And so we straight let out on bail
A convict from the county jail,
Whose head was next
On some pretext
Condemned to be mown off,
And made him Headsman, for we said,
"Who's next to be decapited
Cannot cut off another's head
Until he's cut his own off, his own off, his own off.
Until he's cut his own off."

And we are right, I think you'll say,
To argue in this kind of way;
And I am right,
And you are right,
And all is right--too-looral-lay!

CHORUS: And I am right,
And you are right,
And you are right,--too-looral-lay!

PISH-TUSH and CHORUS: And we are right,
And all is right,
And all is right!

The chorus leaves the stage, and Prince Basil walks onto stage as Pooh-bah, to the applause and laughter of the crowd.

The three princes speak.

NANKI-POO: Ko-Ko, the cheap tailor, Lord High Executioner of Titipu! Why, that's the highest rank a citizen can attain!

POOH-BAH: It is. Our logical Mikado, seeing no moral difference between the dignified judge who condemns a criminal to die, and the industrious mechanic who carries out the sentence, has rolled the two offices into one, and every judge is now his own executioner.

NANKI-POO: But how good of you (for I see that you are a nobleman of the highest rank) to condescend to tell all this to me, a mere strolling minstrel!

POOH-BAH: Don't mention it. I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering. But I struggle hard to overcome this defect. I mortify my pride continually. When all the great officers of State resigned in a body because they were too proud to serve under an ex-tailor, did I not unhesitatingly accept all their posts at once?

PISH-TISH: And the salaries attached to them? You did.

POOH-BAH: It is consequently my degrading duty to serve this upstart as First Lord of the Treasury, Lord Chief Justice, Commander-in-Chief, Lord High Admiral, Master of the Buckhounds, Groom of the Back Stairs, Archbishop of Titipu, and Lord Mayor, both acting and elect, all rolled into one. And at a salary! A Pooh-Bah paid for his services! I a salaried minion! But I do it! It revolts me, but I do it!

NANKI-POO: And it does you credit.

POOH-BAH: But I don't stop at that. I go and dine with middle-class people on reasonable terms. I dance at cheap suburban parties for a moderate fee. I accept refreshment at any hands, however lowly. I also retail State secrets at a very low figure. For instance, any further information about Yum-Yum would come under the head of a State secret.

Nanki-Poo takes the hint and hands Pooh-bah a bribe. The former chancellor turns to the audience and speaks.

POOH-BAH: Another insult and, I think, a light one!

The men start singing again.

POOH-BAH:
Young man, despair,
Likewise go to,
Yum-Yum the fair
You must not woo.
It will not do:
I'm sorry for you,
You very imperfect ablutioner!
This very day
From school Yum-Yum
Will wend her way,
And homeward come,
With beat of drum
And a rum-tum-tum,
To wed the Lord High executioner!
And the brass will crash,
And the trumpets bray,
And they'll cut a dash
On their wedding day.
She'll toddle away, as all aver,
With the Lord High Executioner!

NANKI-POO and POOH-BAH:
And the brass will crash,
And the trumpets bray,
And they'll cut a dash
On their wedding day.
She'll toddle away, as all aver,
With the Lord High Executioner!

POOH-BAH:
It's a hopeless case,
As you may see,
And in your place
Away I'd flee;
But don't blame me--
I'm sorry to be
Of your pleasure a diminutioner.
They'll vow their pact
Extremely soon,
In point of fact
This afternoon.
Her honeymoon
With that buffoon
At seven commences, so you shun her!
And the brass will crash,
And the trumpets bray,
And they'll cut a dash
On their wedding day.
She'll toddle away, as all aver,
With the Lord High Executioner!

ALL:
And the brass will crash,
And the trumpets bray,
And they'll cut a dash
On their wedding day.
She'll toddle away, as all aver,
With the Lord High Executioner!

OOC: I've seen that film too, but I've never heard of a production of The Mikado which skips "A More Humane Mikado" - I believe that despite Gilbert's initial misgivings, it has since become a permanent fixture of the musical.

PS I hope Excalbia doesn't mind if I go ahead and play Joseph for him in the play! :)

OOC: Feel free to play Joseph for the play. Very creative and entertaining. BTW, I think Joseph's family will arrive tomorrow.

Joseph bows again. "You sir are truly a gentleman. I humbly accept your gracious gift. Perhaps, and I hope this is not too forward and overly familiar, you might consider being one of my groom's men? My father, the Emperor, expects my cousin to be my Best Man, my it would honor me to have you stand with me at the wedding."

"Sir, it would be an honor." Simon suddenly looked puzzled. "Ah... yes. I must dash, some... canonical matters I've been asked to look into." He bowed and rushed down the street, cape flying behind him. It fits! They might try to get the Princess during the wedding!

Lucius III picks up a gold cross from his belt and presses one of the jewels (it is actually a mobile phone). "Inquisitor Lucius III of Jeruselem, Knight of Jeruselem speaking ... Yes, your majesty ... quite professional and Prince seems to be well trained ... thank you." and hangs up.

The Latin Patriarch smiles "The Queen interested in how it is going".

The singing continues relentlessly!

NANKI-POO:
And have I journeyed for a month, or nearly,
To learn that Yum-Yum, whom I love so dearly,
This day to Ko-Ko is to be united!

POOH-BAH:
The fact appears to be as you've recited:
But here he comes, equipped as suits his station;
He'll give you any further information.

The male chorus joins the princes on stage, forming two lines of courtiers. Drums start rolling and trumpets start blasting, and they start singing.

MEN:
Behold the Lord High Executioner!
A personage of noble rank and title--
A dignified and potent officer,
Whose functions are particularly vital!
Defer, defer,
To the Lord High Executioner!
Defer, defer,
To the noble Lord, to the noble Lord,
The Lord High Executioner!

A man walks onto stage and stands between the two lines, carrying an enormous sword. The crowd erupts into laughter when they realise it is none other than Prince Andreus, Despot of New Constantinople, flown back from Finara especially for this occassion.

http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/mikado/webopera/ko-ko.jpg

KO-KO (Prince Andreus):
Taken from the county jail
By a set of curious chances;
Liberated then on bail,
On my own recognizances;
Wafted by a favouring gale
As one sometimes is in trances,
To a height that few can scale,
Save by long and weary dances;
Surely, never had a male
Under such like circumstances
So adventurous a tale,
Which may rank with most romances.

Prince Andreus continues singing and the other men start singing at the same time, so that the words overlap.

KO-KO:
Taken from the county jail
By a set of curious chances;
Surely never had a male
So adventurous a tale.

MEN:
Taken from the county jail,
Liberated then on bail;
Surely never had a male
So adventurous a tale.

Prince Andreus absent-mindedly wanders about the place, nearly accidentally taking off some of the chorus member's heads with his sword, as the chorus continues to sing.

MEN:
Defer, defer,
To the Lord High Executioner,
Defer, defer,
To the noble Lord, to the Noble Lord High Executioner!
Bow down, bow down,
To the Lord High Executioner!
Defer, defer,
To the noble, noble Lord,
The High Executioner!

The music stops and Prince Andreus starts to speak.

KO-KO: Gentlemen, I'm much touched by this reception. I can only trust that by strict attention to duty I shall ensure a continuance of those favours which it will ever be my study to deserve. If I should ever be called upon to act professionally, I am happy to think that there will be no difficulty in finding plenty of people whose loss will be a distinct gain to society at large.

Simon orders the legionnares to spread out. He grabs a metal detector and scans each and every present.

The orchestra starts playing again as Prince Andreus resumes his stroll about the stage, absent-mindedly swinging his sword about, making chorus members duck his blows.

KO-KO:
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list--I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed--who never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs--
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs--
All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat--
All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like that--
And all third persons who on spoiling tête-à-têtes insist--
They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!

CHORUS:
He's got 'em on the list--he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be miss'd!

KO-KO:
There's the banjo serenader, and the others of his race,
And the piano-organist--I've got him on the list!
And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face,
They never would be miss'd--they never would be miss'd!
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
All centuries but this, and every country but his own;
And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy,
And who "doesn't think she dances, but would rather like to try";
And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist--
I don't think she'd be missed--I'm sure she'd not he missed!

CHORUS:
He's got her on the list--he's got her on the list;
And he don't think she'll be missed--he's sure she won't be miss'd!

KO-KO:
And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife,
The Judicial humorist--I've got him on the list!
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life--
They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed.
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as--What d'ye call him--Thing'em-bob, and likewise--Never-mind,
And 'St--'st--'st--and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who--
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!

CHORUS:
You may put 'em on the list--you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed!

Everyone leaves the stage other than Ko-Ko and Pooh-bah.

The two men start talking as they stroll across the stage.

KO: Pooh-Bah, it seems that the festivities in connection with my approaching marriage must last a week. I should like to do it handsomely, and I want to consult you as to the amount I ought to spend upon them.

POOH: Certainly. In which of my capacities? As First Lord of the Treasury, Lord Chamberlain, Attorney General, Chancellor of the Exchequer, Privy Purse, or Private Secretary?

KO: Suppose we say as Private Secretary.

POOH: Speaking as your Private Secretary, I should say that, as the city will have to pay for it, don't stint yourself, do it well.

KO: Exactly--as the city will have to pay for it. That is your advice.

POOH: As Private Secretary. Of course you will understand that, as Chancellor of the Exchequer, I am bound to see that due economy is observed.

KO: Oh! But you said just now "Don't stint yourself, do it well".

POOH: As Private Secretary.

KO: And now you say that due economy must be observed.

POOH: As Chancellor of the Exchequer.

KO: I see. Come over here, where the Chancellor can't hear us. (They cross the stage.) Now, as my Solicitor, how do you advise me to deal with this difficulty?

POOH: Oh, as your Solicitor, I should have no hesitation in saying "Chance it----"

KO: Thank you. (Shaking his hand.) I will.

POOH: If it were not that, as Lord Chief Justice, I am bound to see that the law isn't violated.

KO: I see. Come over here where the Chief Justice can't hear us. (They cross the stage.) Now, then, as First Lord of the Treasury?

POOH: Of course, as First Lord of the Treasury, I could propose a special vote that would cover all expenses, if it were not that, as Leader of the Opposition, it would be my duty to resist it, tooth and nail. Or, as Paymaster General, I could so cook the accounts that, as Lord High Auditor, I should never discover the fraud. But then, as Archbishop of Titipu, it would be my duty to denounce my dishonesty and give myself into my own custody as first Commissioner of Police.

KO: That's extremely awkward.

POOH: I don't say that all these distinguished people couldn't be squared; but it is right to tell you that they wouldn't be sufficiently degraded in their own estimation unless they were insulted with a very considerable bribe.

KO: The matter shall have my careful consideration. But my bride and her sisters approach, and any little compliment on your part, such as an abject grovel in a characteristic Japanese attitude, would be esteemed a favour.

POOH: No money, no grovel!

[Exeunt together]

The ladies chorus comes onto the stage dressed as Japanese schoolgirls.

CHORUS OF GIRLS:
Comes a train of little ladies
From scholastic trammels free,
Each a little bit afraid is,
Wondering what the world can be!

Is it but a world of trouble--
Sadness set to song?
Is its beauty but a bubble
Bound to break ere long?

Are its palaces and pleasures
Fantasies that fade?
And the glory of its treasures
Shadow of a shade?
And the glory of its treasures
Shadow of a shade?
Shadow of a shade?

Schoolgirls we, eighteen and under,
From scholastic trammels free,
And we wonder--how we wonder!--
We wonder--how we wonder!--
What on earth the world can be!
What on earth the world can be!

The girls line up on either side of the stage. Three similarly attired young women emerge from the back of the stage to stand between the lines, with fans in front of their faces. As the music starts to play again, all the women fold down their fans in unison, and the crowd laughs and applauds to see Princess Anna, Princess Theodora and Princess Zoë cast in the roles of the "three little maids". The princesses struggle to keep straight faces as they advance down the stage and start to sing.

THE THREE:
Three little maids from school are we,
Pert as a school-girl well can be,
Filled to the brim with girlish glee,
Three little maids from school!

YUM-YUM (Princess Anna):
Everything is a source of fun. (Chuckle)

PEEP-BO (Princess Zoë):
Nobody's safe, for we care for none! (Chuckle)

PITTI-SING (Princess Theodora):
Life is a joke that's just begun! (Chuckle)

THE THREE:
Three little maids from school!

Three little maids who, all unwary,
Come from a ladies' seminary,
Freed from its genius tutelary--
Three little maids from school!
Three little maids from school!

YUM-YUM:
One little maid is a bride, Yum-Yum--

PEEP-BO:
Two little maids in attendance come--

PITTI-SING:
Three little maids is the total sum.

THE THREE:
Three little maids from school!
Three little maids from school!

YUM-YUM:
From three little maids take one away.

PEEP-BO:
Two little maids remain, and they--

PITTI-SING:
Won't have to wait very long, they say--

THE THREE:
Three little maids from school!
Three little maids from school!

Three little maids who, all unwary,
Come from a ladies' seminary,
Freed from its genius tutelary--
Three little maids from school!
Three little maids from school!

The audience applauds.

Prince Andreus as Ko-Ko and Prince Basil as Pooh-Bah stroll onto the stage. Prince Constantine as Pish-Tush walks behind them.

KO: At last, my bride that is to be!

Andreus steps over to his sister, Anna.

YUM: You're not going to kiss me before all these people?

KO: Well, that was the idea.

YUM: (aside to Peep-Bo) It seems odd, doesn't it?

PEEP: It's rather peculiar.

PITTI: Oh, I expect it's all right. Must have a beginning, you know.

YUM: Well, of course I know nothing about these things; but I've no objection if it's usual.

KO: Oh, it's quite usual, I think. Eh, Lord Chamberlain?

Andreus nudges Prince Basil.

POOH: I have known it done.

Andreus embraces Anna briefly.

YUM: Thank goodness that's over!

The crowd laughs and Prince Joseph walks back onto the stage as Nanki-Poo. Princess Anna rushes over to him.

YUM: Why, that's never you?

The other two girls follow her, and all three speak at once:

YUM: Oh, I'm so glad! I haven't seen you for ever so long, and I'm right at the top of the school, and I've got three prizes, and I've come home for good, and I'm not going back any more!

PEEP: And have you got an engagement?--Yum- Yum's got one, but she doesn't like it, and she'd ever so much rather it was you! I've come home for good, and I'm not going back any more!

PITTI: Now tell us all the news, because you go about everywhere, and we've been at school, but, thank goodness, that's all over now, and we've come home for good, and we're not going back any more!

KO: I beg your pardon. Will you present me?

The girls answer all at once:

YUM: Oh, this is the musician who used--

PEEP: Oh, this is the gentleman-who used--

PITTI: Oh, it is only Nanki-Poo who used--

KO: One at a time, if you please.

YUM: Oh, if you please he's the gentleman who used to play so beautifully on the--on the--

PITTI: On the Marine Parade.

YUM: Yes, I think that was the name of the instrument.

NANK: Sir, I have the misfortune to love your ward, Yum-Yum--oh, I know I deserve your anger!

KO: Anger! not a bit, my boy. Why, I love her myself. Charming little girl, isn't she? Pretty eyes, nice hair. Taking little thing, altogether. Very glad to hear my opinion backed by a competent authority. Thank you very much. Good-bye.

Ko-Ko leans towards Pish-Tush.

KO: Take him away.

Prince Constantine escorts Prince Joseph off stage. In the meantime, Princess Zoë has been examining Prince Basil.

PITTI: I beg your pardon, but what is this? Customer come to try on?

KO: That is a Tremendous Swell.

PITTI: Oh, it's alive.

Basil turns around.

POOH: Go away, little girls. Can't talk to little girls like you. Go away, there's dears.

KO: Allow me to present you, Pooh-Bah. These are my three wards. The one in the middle is my bride elect.

POOH: What do you want me to do to them? Mind, I will not kiss them.

KO: No, no, you shan't kiss them; a little bow--a mere nothing--you needn't mean it, you know.

POOH: It goes against the grain. They are not young ladies, they are young persons.

KO: Come, come, make an effort, there's a good nobleman.

POOH (aside to Ko-Ko): Well, I shan't mean it. (with a great effort.) How de do, little girls, how de do? (Aside.) Oh, my protoplasmal ancestor!

KO: That's very good.

The girls indulge in suppressed laughter.

POOH: I see nothing to laugh at. It is very painful to me to have to say "How de do, little girls, how de do?" to young persons. I'm not in the habit of saying "How de do, little girls, how de do?" to anybody under the rank of a Stockbroker.

KO: (aside to girls). Don't laugh at him, he can't help it--he's under treatment for it. (Aside to Pooh-Bah.) Never mind them, they don't understand the delicacy of your position.

POOH: We know how delicate it is, don't we?

KO: I should think we did! How a nobleman of your importance can do it at all is a thing I never can, never shall understand.

Having arrived at the play a little late - just in time for Prince Andreus' first entry, in fact - Prince Tharn made his way as quietly as possible to a vacant seat, then settled down to watch.

OOC: Wow, I seem to have missed quite a bit! That's what happens when you spend the whole weekend running around hitting people with spears and other pointy things in a castle in Wales, I suppose...

...don't ask.

The girls start singing again.

YUM, PEEP, and PITTI:
So please you, Sir, we much regret
If we have failed in etiquette
Towards a man of rank so high--
We shall know better by and by.

YUM:
But youth, of course, must have its fling,
So pardon us,
So pardon us,

PITTI:
And don't, in girlhood's happy spring,
Be hard on us,
Be hard on us,
If we're inclined to dance and sing.
Tra la la la la,

The female chorus starts singing "Tra la la la la".

Yum-Yum, Pitti-Sing and Peep Bo:
But youth, of course, must have its fling,
So pardon us,
And don't in girlhoods happy spring,
be hard on us.

ALL:
Tra la la la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la la,
Tra la la la la la la la la,
Tra la la la la la la la la,
Tra la la la la la la la la la la la la la la!

POOH:
I think you ought to recollect
You cannot show too much respect
Towards the highly titled few;
But nobody does, and why should you?
That youth at us should have its fling,
Is hard on us,
Is hard on us;
To our prerogative we cling--
So pardon us,
So pardon us,
If we decline to dance and sing.
Tra la la la la,

Prince Basil starts awkwardly dancing and singing "Tra la la la la".

Yum-Yum, Pitti-Sing and Peep Bo:
But youth, of course, must have its fling,
So pardon us,
And don't in girlhoods happy spring,
be hard on us.

Chorus of Girls:
But youth, of course, must have its fling,
So pardon us,

And everyone concludes the song by singing "Tra la la la la".

The President stood at the back with JJ watching the play. It is unusual to say the least for them but it was fansinating. However, something caught the corner of the Presidents eye. He noticed the Roania legionnares scanning the presents with a metal detector. He turned stared then watched the play, but every so often would look back.

The President stood at the back with JJ watching the play. It is unusual to say the least for them but it was fansinating. However, something caught the corner of the Presidents eye. He noticed the Roania legionnares scanning the presents with a metal detector. He turned stared then watched the play, but every so often would look back.

The President stood at the back with JJ watching the play. It is unusual to say the least for them but it was fansinating. However, something caught the corner of the Presidents eye. He noticed the Roania legionnares scanning the presents with a metal detector. He turned stared then watched the play, but every so often would look back.

Nanki-Poo enters the stage as everyone but Yum-Yum exits. Princess Anna and Prince Joseph are alone on stage.

NANK: Yum-Yum, at last we are alone! I have sought you night and day for three weeks, in the belief that your guardian was beheaded, and I find that you are about to be married to him this afternoon!

YUM: Alas, yes!

NANK: But you do not love him?

YUM: Alas, no!

NANK: Modified rapture! But why do you not refuse him?

YUM: What good would that do? He's my guardian, and he wouldn't let me marry you!

NANK: But I would wait until you were of age!

YUM: You forget that in Japan girls do not arrive at years of discretion until they are fifty.

NANK: True; from seventeen to forty-nine are considered years of indiscretion.

YUM: Besides--a wandering minstrel, who plays a wind instrument outside tea-houses, is hardly a fitting husband for the ward of a Lord High Executioner.

NANK: But---- (Aside.) Shall I tell her? Yes! She will not betray me! (Aloud.) What if it should prove that, after all, I am no musician?

YUM: There! I was certain of it, directly I heard you play!

NANK: What if it should prove that I am no other than the son of his Majesty the Mikado?

YUM: The son of the Mikado! But why is your Highness disguised? And what has your Highness done? And will your Highness promise never to do it again?

NANK: Some years ago I had the misfortune to captivate Katisha, an elderly lady of my father's Court. She misconstrued my customary affability into expressions of affection, and claimed me in marriage, under my father's law. My father, the Lucius Junius Brutus of his race, ordered me to marry her within a week, or perish ignominiously on the scaffold. That night I fled his Court, and, assuming the disguise of a Second Trombone, I joined the band in which you found me when I had the happiness of seeing you! (Approaching her.)

YUM: (retreating). If you please, I think your Highness had better not come too near. The laws against flirting are excessively severe.

NANK: But we are quite alone, and nobody can see us.

YUM: Still, that don't make it right. To flirt is capital.

NANK: It is capital!

YUM: And we must obey the law.

NANK: Deuce take the law!

YUM: I wish it would, but it won't!

NANK: If it were not for that, how happy we might be!

YUM: Happy indeed!

NANK: If it were not for the law, we should now be sitting side by side, like that. (Sits by her.)

YUM: Instead of being obliged to sit half a mile off, like that. (Crosses and sits at other side of stage.)

NANK: We should be gazing into each other's eyes, like that. (Gazing at her sentimentally.)

YUM: Breathing sighs of unutterable love--like that. (Sighing and gazing lovingly at him.)

NANK: With our arms round each other's waists, like that. (Embracing her.)

YUM: Yes, if it wasn't for the law.

NANK: If it wasn't for the law.

YUM: As it is, of course we couldn't do anything of the kind.

NANK: Not for worlds!

YUM: Being engaged to Ko-Ko, you know!

NANK: Being engaged to Ko-Ko!

Prime Minister Scott after being practically silent throughout the entire performance mainly through awe of the talent put on before him whispers to his entourage.

This is a simply amazing performance, I think Meulmania should invest more into the Arts.

He then sat back quietly vividly watching on.

The Roanians suddenly find a metal object. They leap on it. "NO! It's a bomb!"

They carefully open it. "No, it's a towel rack. 5th one tonight."

NANK:

Were you not to Ko-Ko plighted,
I would say in tender tone,
"Loved one, let us be united--
Let us be each other's own!"
I would merge all rank and station,
Worldly sneers are nought to us,
And, to mark my admiration,
I would kiss you fondly thus-- (Kisses her.)

BOTH:
I/He would kiss you/me fondly thus-- (Kiss.)

YUM:
But as I'm engaged to Ko-Ko,
To embrace you thus, con fuoco,
Would distinctly be no giuoco,
And for yam I should get toko--

The prince and princess sing "toco" alternatingly.

NANK:
So, In spite of all temptation,
Such a theme I'll not discuss,
And on no consideration
Will I kiss you fondly thus-- (Kissing her.)
Will I kiss you fondly thus.
Let me make it clear to you,
This is what I'll never do!
This, oh, this, oh, this, oh, this,--(Kissing her.)
This is what I'll never, never do!

BOTH:
This, oh, this--
oh, this--
oh, this-- this--
I'll/He'll never do!
I'll/He'll never do!
This is what I'll/he'll
never, never do!

[Exeunt in opposite directions.]

((This thread is nice :D ))

The Bogirian was amused. He was accustomed to elven operas, but this humans were talented indeed, the stage was exquisite.

Lucius III looked back at the Roanians metal detecting gifts. He thought "An X-ray machine would be more useful in their situation" and returned attention to the Opera.

The music stops and Prince Andreus steps onto the stage.

KO: (looking after Yum-Yum) There she goes! To think how entirely my future happiness is wrapped up in that little parcel! Really, it hardly seems worth while! Oh, matrimony!-- (Enter Pooh-Bah and Pish-Tush.) Now then, what is it? Can't you see I'm soliloquizing? You have interrupted an apostrophe, sir!

PISH: I am the bearer of a letter from his Majesty the Mikado.

KO: (taking it from him reverentially) A letter from the Mikado! What in the world can he have to say to me? (Reads letter.) Ah, here it is at last! I thought it would come sooner or later! The Mikado is struck by the fact that no executions have taken place in Titipu for a year, and decrees that unless somebody is beheaded within one month the post of Lord High Executioner shall be abolished, and the city reduced to the rank of a village!

PISH: But that will involve us all in irretrievable ruin!

KO: Yes. There is no help for it, I shall have to execute somebody at once. The only question is, who shall it be?

POOH: Well, it seems unkind to say so, but as you're already under sentence of death for flirting, everything seems to point to you.

KO: To me? What are you talking about? I can't execute myself.

POOH: Why not?

KO: Why not? Because, in the first place, self decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt; and, in the second, it's suicide, and suicide is a capital offence.

POOH: That is so, no doubt.

PISH: We might reserve that point.

POOH: True, it could be argued six months hence, before the full Court.

KO: Besides, I don't see how a man can cut off his own head.

POOH: A man might try.

PISH: Even if you only succeeded in cutting it half off, that would be something.

POOH: It would be taken as an earnest of your desire to comply with the Imperial will.

KO: No. Pardon me, but there I am adamant. As official Headsman, my reputation is at stake, and I can't consent to embark on a professional operation unless I see my way to a successful result.

POOH: This professional conscientiousness is highly creditable to you, but it places us in a very awkward position.

KO: My good sir, the awkwardness of your position is grace itself compared with that of a man engaged in the act of cutting off his own head.

PISH: I am afraid that, unless you can obtain a substitute----

KO: A substitute? Oh, certainly--nothing easier. (To Pooh-Bah.) Pooh-Bah, I appoint you Lord High Substitute.

POOH: I should be delighted. Such an appointment would realize my fondest dreams. But no, at any sacrifice, I must set bounds to my insatiable ambition!

Simon shakes his head. "This is very fine acting."

He turns to his legionarres, who are carefully reassembling 25 toasters, a yacht, the rings, 6 towel racks, some crowns, the wedding cake, and the statue of Pantocratoria's first Emperor.

"Ironic, isn't it. I escaped being arrested for 'sacrilege', but I'm about to be executed for damage of property."

Prince Basil steps forward and starts singing as the music starts.

Pooh-Bah:
I am so proud,
If I allowed
My family pride
To be my guide,
I'd volunteer
To quit this sphere,
Instead of you,
In a minute or two.
But family pride
Must be denied,
And set aside,
And mortified,
And mortified.

Ko-Ko:
My brain it teems
With endless schemes,
Both good and new,
For Titipu,
For Titipu;
But if I flit,
The benefit
That I'd diffuse
The town would lose!
Now every man
To aid his clan
Should plot and plan
As best he can.

Pish-Tush:
I heard one day
A gentleman say
That criminals who
Are cut in two
Can hardly feel
The fatal steel,
And so are slain, are slain
Without much pain.
If this is true,
It's jolly for you;
Your courage screw
To bid a-dieu!

The three princes all sing the verse they just sang once again, all at once, with Pooh-Bah starting first, Ko-Ko starting one line later, and Pish-Tush starting one line later after Ko-Ko.

Ko-Ko:
And so,
Although I'm ready to go,
Yet recollect
'Twere disrespect
Did I neglect
To thus effect
This aim direct,
So I object.

Pooh-Bah:
And so,
Although I wish to go,
And greatly pine,
To brightly shine,
And take the line
Of a hero fine,
With grief condign
I must decline

Pish-Tush:
And go
And show
Both friend and foe
How much you dare.
I'm quite aware
It's your affair,
Yet I declare
I'd take your share,
But I don't much care.

Prince Basil starts singing "I must decline" over and over again, and is followed by Prince Andreus singing "So I object" over and over again, starting a line later. Prince Constantine joins in with "I'd take your share, but I don't much care", starting one line after his brother.

Suddenly the music gets a lot faster, and all three men sing the same thing at once.

ALL:
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
A dull, dark dock,
A life-long lock,
A short, sharp shock,
A big black block!
To sit in solemn silence
In a pestilential prison,
And awaiting the sensation
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!

Prince Basil and Prince Constantine leave the stage, leaving Prince Andreus as Ko-Ko standing alone.

KO: This is simply appalling! I, who allowed myself to be respited at the last moment, simply in order to benefit my native town, am now required to die within a month, and that by a man whom I have loaded with honours! Is this public gratitude? Is this--- (Enter Nanki-Poo, with a rope in his hands.) Go away, sir! How dare you? Am I never to be permitted to soliloquize?

NANK: Oh, go on--don't mind me.

KO: What are you going to do with that rope?

NANK: I am about to terminate an unendurable existence.

KO: Terminate your existence? Oh, nonsense! What for?

NANK: Because you are going to marry the girl I adore.

KO: Nonsense, sir. I won't permit it. I am a humane man, and if you attempt anything of the kind I shall order your instant arrest. Come, sir, desist at once or I summon my guard.

NANK: That's absurd. If you attempt to raise an alarm, I instantly perform the Happy Despatch with this dagger.

KO: No, no, don't do that. This is horrible! (Suddenly.) Why, you cold-blooded scoundrel, are you aware that, in taking your life, you are committing a crime which--which--which is----Oh! (Struck by an idea.) Substitute!

NANK: What's the matter?

KO: Is it absolutely certain that you are resolved to die?

NANK: Absolutely!

KO: Will nothing shake your resolution?

NANK: Nothing.

KO: Threats, entreaties, prayers--all useless?

NANK: All! My mind is made up.

KO: Then, if you really mean what you say, and if you are absolutely resolved to die, and if nothing whatever will shake your determination--don't spoil yourself by committing suicide, but be beheaded handsomely at the hands of the Public Executioner!

NANK: I don't see how that would benefit me.

KO: You don't? Observe: you'll have a month to live, and you'll live like a fighting-cock at my expense. When the day comes there'll be a grand public ceremonial--you'll be the central figure--no one will attempt to deprive you of that distinction. There'll be a procession--bands--dead march--bells tolling--all the girls in tears--Yum-Yum distracted--then, when it's all over, general rejoicings, and a display of fireworks in the evening. You won't see them, but they'll be there all the same.

NANK: Do you think Yum-Yum would really be distracted at my death?

KO: I am convinced of it. Bless you, she's the most tender-hearted little creature alive.

NANK: I should be sorry to cause her pain. Perhaps, after all, if I were to withdraw from Japan, and travel in Europe for a couple of years, I might contrive to forget her.

KO: Oh, I don't think you could forget Yum-Yum so easily; and, after all, what is more miserable than a love-blighted life?

NANK: True.

KO: Life without Yum-Yum--why, it seems absurd!

NANK: And yet there are a good many people in the world who have to endure it.

KO: Poor devils, yes! You are quite right not to be of their number.

NANK: (suddenly). I won't be of their number!

KO: Noble fellow!

NANK: I'll tell you how we'll manage it. Let me marry Yum-Yum to-morrow, and in a month you may behead me.

KO: No, no. I draw the line at Yum-Yum.

NANK: Very good. If you can draw the line, so can I. (Preparing rope.)

KO: Stop, stop--listen one moment--be reasonable. How can I consent to your marrying Yum-Yum if I'm going to marry her myself?

NANK: My good friend, she'll be a widow in a month, and you can marry her then.

KO: That's true, of course. I quite see that. But, dear me! my position during the next month will be most unpleasant--most unpleasant.

NANK: Not half so unpleasant as my position at the end of it.

KO: But--dear me!--well--I agree--after all, it's only putting off my wedding for a month. But you won't prejudice her against me, will you? You see, I've educated her to be my wife; she's been taught to regard me as a wise and good man. Now I shouldn't like her views on that point disturbed.

NANK: Trust me, she shall never learn the truth from me.

The crowd laughs hysterically.

Simon sighs. "Okay. So, not a single bomb?"

"Well, there is this large, suspiciously unaddressed package." One of the legionnares says. "Looks like it's from some-one called 'Death to the Infidel scum'."

Simon looks up. "NOOOO!" He said, as he moved forward in slo-mo, running towards the package. He body tackled it and tossed it into a nearby fountain.

Meanwhile, just outside Citadel Excalbia a black limousine, with the Imperial crest on the rear doors and Excalbian flags flying from both front fenders, is streaking towards the airport. An escort of police cars and motorcycles clear the way as curious spectators stare from their cars. Inside, Empress Elizabeth casually rests her hand on her husband’s shoulder. “It’s a shame that we’re missing the Mikado.”

Emperor David IV shrugs and turns towards his wife. “I know. But, with everything going on in Upper Virginia, I just couldn’t get away any sooner.”

“Tell me,” the Empress whispers in the Emperor’s ear, “did you know this would happen when you sent Joseph to Pantocratoria?”

The Emperor chuckles. “Of course not. I only hoped Joseph would be forced to develop his diplomatic skills and a little sense of real-world politics. I never dreamed that he’d actually fall in love.” The Emperor looks at his wife, with a suddenly serious look on his face. “And, I’m sure he has genuinely fallen in love. While this marriage is certainly a good thing politically, I certainly didn’t apply any pressure…”

“I know, I know,” the Empress presses a finger to the Emperor’s lips. “And I know that it must be true love if Joseph is singing. On stage. In front of people.”

From the other side of the car comes the unmistakable snicker of a pre-teen boy. “Joseph singing on stage? I just bet he's going all gushy and squiggly over that girl…”

“James David Alsgood Edward!” The Emperor’s race turns red as he spits out all four of his youngest son’s given names. “That’s enough.”

“Yes, Father,” James looks down and returns to his comics.

“Well, I think its wonderful, Daddy,” Princess Rebecca says from her seat beside her brother.

“I know,” the Emperor says trying to keep his eyes from rolling. He didn’t know which was worse, a 9-year old snickering about the wedding or a 14-year old dreamily gushing about it.

“We’re here, David,” the Empress says at just the right moment.

After the car stopped, the doors open and the Emperor steps out. A detachment of Imperial Air Force troops lining a red carpet leading to the boarding ramp of a 777 jumbo jet snaps to attention and salutes. The Emperor returns the salute. An Air Force Brigadier steps over to the Emperor. “Excalbia One is ready to depart as soon as wish, Your Majesty,” he says with a bow.

“Thank you, Brigadier Roberts,” the Emperor nods. “We’ll be aboard in a moment.”

A very clear throat-clearing catches the Emperor’s attention. He turns and smiles when he sees the Imperial Chamberlain, Lord Corman.

“Your Majesty,” the old man bows. He raises an eyebrow slightly as he eyes the Emperor’s jeans and tweed jacket and the Empress’ slacks and sweater. “So, Your Majesty, I see that you’ll be changing aboard the aircraft prior to arrival.”

The Emperor suppresses another chuckle. “Yes, Lord Corman. It is a rather long flight. Is my sister aboard?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“I’m sure she made up for my attire with hers?”

“Quite, Your Majesty. She is… as stylish as always.”

“Of course. And my nephew?”

“He, too, is aboard.”

“Very well. Then, let’s go.”

The Chorus, Pooh-Bah, and Pish-Tush enter the stage.

CHORUS:
With aspect stern
And gloomy stride,
We come to learn
How you decide.

Don't hesitate
Your choice to name,
A dreadful fate
You'll suffer all the same.
A dreadful fate
You'll suffer all the same.

POOH:
To ask you what you mean to do, we punctually appear.

KO:
Congratulate me, gentlemen, I've found a Volunteer!

ALL:
The Japanese equivalent for Hear, Hear, Hear!

KO: (presenting him)
'Tis Nanki-Poo!

ALL:
Hail, Nanki-Poo!

KO:
I think he'll do?

ALL:
Yes, yes, he'll do!

KO:
He yields his life if I'll Yum-Yum surrender.
Now I adore that girl with passion tender,
And could not yield her with a ready will,
Or her allot,
If I did not
Adore myself with passion tenderer still!
With passion tenderer still!

The three princesses walk onto the stage.

ALL:
Ah, yes!
He loves himself with passion tenderer still!

KO: (to Nanki-Poo).
Take her--she's yours!

Prince Andreus leaves the stage.

NANKI-POO:
The threatened cloud has passed away,

YUM-YUM:
And brightly shines the dawning day;

NANKI-POO:
What though the night may come too soon,

YUM-YUM:
There's yet a month of afternoon!

YUM-YUM, NANKI-POO, POOH-BAH,PITTI-SING, and PEEP-BO:

Then let the throng
Our joy
advance,
With laughing song
And mer-
ry dance,
Then let the throng
Our joy advance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,
With laughing song,
With joyous shout,
With joyous shout and
ringing cheer,
Inaugurate, inaugurate
their brief career!
With joyous shout and ringing cheer,
Inaugurate their brief
career! With joyous shout and
ringing cheer
Inaugurate their brief career!

PITTI-SING:
A day, a week, a month, a year--

YUM:
Or far or near, or far or near,

POOH:
Life's eventime comes much too soon,

PITTI-SING:
You'll live at least a honeymoon!

ALL:
Then let the throng
Our joy advance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,
Then let the throng
Our joy advance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,
With laughing song

YUM-YUM, NANKI-POO, POOH-BAH,PITTI-SING, and PEEP-BO:

Then let the throng
Our joy
advance,
With laughing song
And mer-
ry dance,
Then let the throng
Our joy advance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,
With laughing song,
With joyous shout,
With joyous shout and
ringing cheer,
Inaugurate, inaugurate
their brief career!
With joyous shout and ringing cheer,
Inaugurate their brief
career! With joyous shout and
ringing cheer
Inaugurate their brief career!

SOLO--POOH-BAH:
As in a month you've got to die,
If Ko-Ko tells us true,
'Twere empty compliment to cry
"Long life to Nanki-Poo!"
But as one month you have to live
As fellow-citizen,
This toast with three times three we'll give--
"Long life, long life to you, long life to you,
long life to you--till then!"

Prince Basil Pooh-bah leaves the stage as everyone scowls at him.

CHORUS:
May all good fortune, all good fortune prosper you,
May you have health, may you have health and riches, too,

CHORUS CHORUS
(Sopranos) (Other)

May you May all good fortune
succeed prosper you,
in all May you have health
you do! and riches too,
May you succeed in
Long life all you do!
to you Long life, long life
till then! to you--till then!

Everyone dances when suddenly, and very dramatically, Princess Irene arrives on the stage in a chariot pulled by half a dozen men. She is dressed in terrifying attire, and the stage lighting makes her look positively evil. The crowd gasps and then laughs hysterically as the Chancellor struggles to keep a straight face. She is Katisha!

KAT:
Your revels cease! Assist me, all of you!

CHORUS:
Why, who is this whose evil eyes
Rain blight on our festivities?

KAT:
I claim my perjured lover, Nanki-Poo.
Oh, fool! to shun delights that never cloy!

She points at Prince Joseph, who swallows hard.

CHORUS:
Go, leave thy deadly work undone!

KAT:
Come back, oh, shallow fool, come back to joy!

CHORUS:
Away, away! ill-favoured one!

NANK: (aside to Yum-Yum)
Ah!
'Tis Katisha!
The maid of whom I told you. (About to go.)

KAT: (detaining him).
No!
You shall not go,
These arms shall thus enfold you!

KAT: (addressing Nanki-Poo).
Oh fool, that fleest
My hallowed joys!
Oh blind, that seest
No equipoise!
Oh rash, that judgest
From half, the whole!
Oh base, that grudgest
Love's lightest dole!
Thy heart unbind,
Oh fool, oh blind!
Give me my place,
Oh rash, oh base!
Thy heart unbind,
Give me my place,
Oh fool, oh blind,
Oh rash, oh base!
Thy heart unbind,
Give me, give me my place.

CHORUS:
If she's thy bride, restore her place,
Oh fool, oh blind, oh rash, oh base!

KAT: (addressing Yum-Yum).
Pink cheek, that rulest
Where wisdom serves!
Bright eye, that foolest
Heroic nerves!
Rose lip, that scornest
Lore-laden years!
Smooth tongue, that warnest
Who rightly hears!
Thy doom is nigh.
Pink cheek, bright eye!
Thy knell is rung,
Rose lip, smooth tongue!
Thy doom is nigh,
Thy knell is rung,
Pink cheek, bright eye,
Rose lip, smooth tongue!
Thy doom is night,
Thy knell, thy knell is rung.

CHORUS:
If true her tale, thy knell is rung,
Pink cheek, bright eye, rose lip, smooth tongue!

KATISHA: CHORUS:
Thy doom If true her tale, thy
is nigh, knell is rung
Thy knell If true her tale,
is rung, Thy knell, thy knell is rung,
Thy knell is rung! Thy knell is rung!

Princess Theodora steps before her aunt and starts to sing.

PITTI-SING:
Away, nor prosecute your quest--
From our intention, well expressed,
You cannot turn us!
The state of your connubial views
Towards the person you accuse
Does not concern us!

For he's going to marry Yum-Yum--

ALL:
Yum-Yum!

PITTI:
Your anger pray bury,
For all will be merry,
I think you had better succumb--

ALL:
Cumb--cumb!

PITTI:
And join our expressions of glee.
On this subject I pray you be dumb--

ALL:
Dumb--dumb.

PITTI:
You'll find there are many
Who'll wed for a penny--
The word for your guidance is "Mum"--

ALL:
Mum--mum!

PITTI:
There's lots of good fish in the sea!

ALL:
On this subject we pray you be dumb--dumb--dumb,
We think you had better succumb--cumb--cumb!
You'll find there are many
Who'll wed for a penny,
Who'll wed for a penny
There are lots of good fish in the sea!
There are lots of good fish in the sea!
There's lots of good fish, good fish in the sea!
There's lots of good fish, good fish in the sea,
in the sea, in the sea, in the sea!

SOLO--KATISHA:
The hour of gladness
Is dead and gone;
In silent sadness
I live alone!
The hope I cherished
All lifeless lies,
And all has perished, all has perished
Save love, which never dies!
Which never, never dies!

Oh, faithless one, this insult you shall rue!
In vain for mercy on your knees you'll sue.

I'll tear the mask from your disguising!

NANK: (aside)
Now comes the blow!

KAT:
Prepare yourselves for news surprising!

NANK: (aside).
How foil my foe?

KAT:
No minstrel he, despite bravado!

YUM:(aside, struck by an idea).
Ha! ha! I know!

KAT:
He is the son of your----

(Nanki-Poo, Yum-Yum, and Chorus, interrupting, sing Japanese words, to drown her voice.)

O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!

KAT:
In vain you interrupt with this tornado!
He is the only son of your----

ALL:
O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!

KAT:
I'll spoil----

ALL:
O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!

KAT:
Your gay gambado!
He is the son----

ALL:
O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!

KAT:
Of your----

ALL:
O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!

KAT:
The son of your----

ALL:
O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to! oya! oya!

KATISHA:
Ye torrents roar!
Ye tempests howl!
Your wrath outpour
With angry growl!
Do ye your worst, my vengeance call
Shall rise triumphant over all!

THE OTHERS:
We'll hear no more,
Ill-omened owl,
To joy we soar,
Despite your scowl!
The echoes of our festival
Shall rise triumphant over all!

KATISHA:
Prepare for woe,
Ye haughty lords,
At once I go
Mikado-wards,

THE OTHERS:
Away you go,
Collect your hordes;
Proclaim your woe
In dismal chords

YUM-YUM:
We do not heed their dismal sound

NANKI-POO:
For joy reigns everywhere around.

YUM-YUM:
We do not heed their dismal sound

YUM YUM and NANKI-POO:
For joy reigns everywhere around.

YUM-YUM: NANKI-POO: OTHERS:

The echoes of The echoes of We'll hear no more,
our festival our festival Ill omened owl,
Shall rise triumphant Shall rise triumphant To joy we soar,
over all! over all! Despite your scowl!
Shall rise trium-
Shall rise triumphant, phant over all!
Triumphant over all! Triumphant over all! To joy we soar,
Shall rise triumphant Shall rise triumphant To joy we soar,
over all! over all! Despite your scowl!

KATISHA:
My wrongs with vengeance shall be crowned!

OTHERS:
We do not heed their dismal sound,
For joy reigns everywhere around!
We do not heed their dismal sound,
For joy reigns everywhere around!

KATISHA: OTHERS:
My wrongs
with vengeance shall We do not heed their dismal
be crowned, sound,
My wrongs with vengeance For joy reigns every-
shall be crowned! where around!

Princess Irene's chariot rushes back and forth off the stage, clearing everyone from it, as the curtain comes down for the end of the first act.

OOC: My attempts at tables to show simultaneous singing have been defied, unfortunately. I hope you can work it out anyway!

The bomb explodes, sending water everywhere, but not causing any damage.

Completely drenched, Simon sighs. "Thank god it wasn't salt water." The legionnares chuckle. "What are you lot laughing about? MOP THIS TRASH UP!"

The curtain rises for Act Two to the applause of the crowd. The backdrop has been changed to Ko-Ko's garden, and on stage Princess Anna is bathing in a big Japanese pot, surrounded by maidens who are dressing her hair and painting her face and lips. She looks on in a mirror fluttering her eyelashes mindlessly.

LADIES CHORUS:
Braid the raven hair--
Weave the supple tress--
Deck the maiden fair
In her loveliness--
Paint the pretty face--
Dye the coral lip--
Emphasize the grace
Of her ladyship!
Art and nature, thus allied,
Go to make a pretty bride.
Art and nature, thus allied,
Go to make a pretty bride.

SOLO--PITTI-SING:
Sit with downcast eye
Let it brim with dew--
Try if you can cry--
We will do so, too.
When you're summoned, start
Like a frightened roe--
Flutter, little heart,
Colour, come and go!
Modesty at marriage-tide
Well becomes a pretty bride!
Modesty at marriage-tide
Well becomes a pretty bride!

As the ladies chorus resumes singing, Anna stands from her bath, with conveniently held towels obscuring the audience's view. The maidens dry her and dress her in a golden kimono.

LADIES CHORUS:
Braid the raven hair--
Weave the supple tress--
Deck the maiden fair
In her loveliness--
Paint the pretty face--
Dye the coral lip--
Emphasize the grace
Of her ladyship!
Art and nature, thus allied,
Go to make a pretty bride.
Art and nature, thus allied,
Go to make a pretty bride.

Everyone but Yum-Yum clears the stage as she steps away from the bath and admires herself in the mirror. The crowd looks on, anxious, knowing that the next song is a very demanding one. For now, however, the orchestra is silent.

YUM-YUM: Yes, I am indeed beautiful! Sometimes I sit and wonder, in my artless Japanese way, why it is that I am so much more attractive than anybody else in the whole world. Can this be vanity? No! Nature is lovely and rejoices in her loveliness. I am a child of Nature, and take after my mother.

The orchestra starts playing again and Anna opens her fan, depicting a golden sun on the side visible to the audience.

Yum-Yum:
The sun, whose rays
Are all ablaze
With ever-living glory,
Does not deny
His majesty--
He scorns to tell a story!
He don't exclaim,
"I blush for shame,
So kindly be indulgent."
But, fierce and bold,
In fiery gold,
He glories all effulgent!

I mean to rule the earth,
As he the sky--
We really know our worth,
The sun and I!

I mean to rule the earth,
As he the sky--
We really know our worth,
The sun and I!

Anna turns her fan around to display the side with the silver moon painted on it.

Observe his flame,
That placid dame,
The moon's Celestial Highness;
There's not a trace
Upon her face
Of diffidence or shyness:
She borrows light
That, through the night,
Mankind may all acclaim her!
And, truth to tell,
She lights up well,
So I, for one, don't blame her!

Ah, pray make no mistake,
We are not shy;
We're very wide awake,
The moon and I!

Ah, pray make no mistake,
We are not shy;
We're very wide awake,
The moon and I!

Anna closes her fan and the crowd applauds. She pulled it off perfectly.

The other two princesses step onto the stage.

YUM: Yes, everything seems to smile upon me. I am to be married to-day to the man I love best and I believe I am the very happiest girl in Japan!

PEEP: The happiest girl indeed, for she is indeed to be envied who has attained happiness in all but perfection.

YUM: In "all but" perfection?

PEEP: Well, dear, it can't be denied that the fact that your husband is to be beheaded in a month is, in its way, a drawback. It does seem to take the top off it, you know.

PITTI: I don't know about that. It all depends!

PEEP: At all events, he will find it a drawback.

PITTI: Not necessarily. Bless you, it all depends!

YUM: (in tears). I think it very indelicate of you to refer to such a subject on such a day. If my married happiness is to be--to be--

PEEP: Cut short.

YUM: Well, cut short--in a month, can't you let me forget it?

Yum-Yum weeps. Prince Joseph steps onto the stage, followed by Prince Constantine as Pish-Tush.

NANK: Yum-Yum in tears--and on her wedding morn!

YUM: (sobbing). They've been reminding me that in a month you're to be beheaded! (Bursts into tears.)

PITTI: Yes, we've been reminding her that you're to be beheaded. (Bursts into tears.)

PEEP: It's quite true, you know, you are to be beheaded! (Bursts into tears.)

NANK: (aside). Humph! Now, some bridegrooms would be depressed by this sort of thing! (Aloud.) A month? Well, what's a month? Bah! These divisions of time are purely arbitrary. Who says twenty-four hours make a day?

PITTI: There's a popular impression to that effect.

NANK: Then we'll efface it. We'll call each second a minute--each minute an hour--each hour a day--and each day a year. At that rate we've about thirty years of married happiness before us!

PEEP: And, at that rate, this interview has already lasted four hours and three-quarters!

All the princesses burst into tears at this revelation! Peep-bo sobs as she walks off stage.

YUM: (still sobbing). Yes. How time flies when one is thoroughly enjoying oneself!

NANK: That's the way to look at it! Don't let's be downhearted! There's a silver lining to every cloud.

YUM: Certainly. Let's--let's be perfectly happy! (Almost in tears.)

PISH-TUSH: By all means. Let's--let's thoroughly enjoy ourselves.

PITTI: It's--it's absurd to cry! (Trying to force a laugh.)

YUM: Quite ridiculous! (Trying to laugh.)

Looks around to makes sure no-ones looking, then urreptitiously BUMPs the thread

OOC: The next song has an awful lot of simultaneous singing, and since I can't do tables in NationStates, there is no way to represent it well. Plus, a lot of productions skip it, and thus, so shall I. Updates soon! :oops:

OOC: Which song?

OOC: Which song?

OOC: Brightly Dawns Our Wedding Day, sung by Yum-Yum, Pitti-Sing, Nanki-Poo, and Pish-Tush.

OOC: Which song?

OOC: Brightly Dawns Our Wedding Day, sung by Yum-Yum, Pitti-Sing, Nanki-Poo, and Pish-Tush.


Nope. Not aware of it. When does the actual service start?

OOC: Which song?

OOC: Brightly Dawns Our Wedding Day, sung by Yum-Yum, Pitti-Sing, Nanki-Poo, and Pish-Tush.


Nope. Not aware of it. When does the actual service start?

OOC: It is a few days away in game-time. I need to finish the Mikado first IRL!

The Goldanian Government announces that Crown Prince Frederick Augustus with his wife Crown Princess Sarah will assist to the wedding.

As everyone else leaves the stage, the soon to be wedded couple embraces. Ko-ko steps onto the stage, and the two step apart.

KO:
Go on--don't mind me.
NANK:
I'm afraid we're distressing you.
KO:
Never mind, I must get used to it. Only please do it by degrees. Begin by putting your arm round her waist. (Nanki-Poo does so.) There; let me get used to that first.
YUM:
Oh, wouldn't you like to retire? It must pain you to see us so affectionate together!
KO:
No, I must learn to bear it! Now oblige me by allowing her head to rest on your shoulder.
NANK:
Like that? (He does so. Ko-Ko much affected.)
KO:
I am much obliged to you. Now--kiss her! (He does so. Ko-Ko writhes with anguish.) Thank you--it's simple torture!
YUM:
Come, come, bear up. After all, it's only for a month.
KO:
No. It's no use deluding oneself with false hopes.
NANK. and YUM:
What do you mean?
KO:
(to Yum-Yum). My child--my poor child! (Aside.) How shall I break it to her? (Aloud.) My little bride that was to have been?
YUM:
(delighted). Was to have been?
KO:
Yes, you never can be mine!
NANK. and YUM. (simultaneously, in ecstacy)
What!/I'm so glad!
KO:
I've just ascertained that, by the Mikado's law, when a married man is beheaded his wife is buried alive.
NANK. and YUM:
Buried alive!
KO:
Buried alive. It's a most unpleasant death.
NANK:
But whom did you get that from?
KO:
Oh, from Pooh-Bah. He's my Solicitor.
YUM:
But he may be mistaken!
KO:
So I thought; so I consulted the Attorney General, the Lord Chief Justice, the Master of the Rolls, the Judge Ordinary, and the Lord Chancellor. They're all of the same opinion. Never knew such unanimity on a point of law in my life!
NANK:
But stop a bit! This law has never been put in force.
KO:
Not yet. You see, flirting is the only crime punishable with decapitation, and married men never flirt.
NANK:
Of course, they don't. I quite forgot that! Well, I suppose I may take it that my dream of happiness is at an end!
YUM:
Darling--I don't want to appear selfish, and I love you with all my heart--I don't suppose I shall ever love anybody else half as much--but when I agreed to marry you--my own--I had no idea--pet--that I should have to be buried alive in a month!
NANK:
Nor I! It's the very first I've heard of it!
YUM:
It--it makes a difference, doesn't it?
NANK:
It does make a difference, of course.
YUM:
You see--burial alive--it's such a stuffy death!
NANK:
I call it a beast of a death.
YUM:
You see my difficulty, don't you?
NANK:
Yes, and I see my own. If I insist on your carrying out your promise, I doom you to a hideous death; if I release you, you marry Ko-Ko at once!

The music starts again!

YUM-YUM:

Here's a how-de-do!
If I marry you,
When your time has come to perish,
Then the maiden whom you cherish
Must be slaughter'd too!
Here's a how-de-do!
Here's a how-de-do!

NANKI-POO:
Here's a pretty mess!
In a month, or less,
I must die without a wedding!
Let the bitter tears I'm shedding
Witness my distress,
Here's a pretty mess!
Here's a pretty mess!

KO-KO:
Here's a state of things
To her life she clings!
Matrimonial devotion
Doesn't seem to suit her notion--
Burial it brings!
Here's a state of things!
Here's a state of things!

ALL:
With a passion that's intense
I worship and adore,
But the laws of common sense
We oughtn't to ignore.
If what he says is true,
'Tis death to marry you!
Here's a pretty state of things!
Here's a pretty how-de-do!
Here's a pretty state of things!
A pretty state of things!

YUM-YUM:
Here's a how-de-do!

NANKI-POO:
Here's a how-de-do!

KO-KO:
Here's a how-de-do!

ALL:
For if what he says is true,
I cannot, cannot marry you!
Here's a pretty, pretty state of things!

ALL (spoken)
Here's a pretty how-do-do!

Princess Anna leaves the stage, and Andreus approaches Joseph and puts his arm around his shoulder.

KO: My poor boy, I'm really very sorry for you.

NANK: Thanks, old fellow. I'm sure you are.

KO: You see I'm quite helpless.

NANK: I quite see that.

KO: I can't conceive anything more distressing than to have one's marriage broken off at the last moment. But you shan't be disappointed of a wedding--you shall come to mine.

NANK: It's awfully kind of you, but that's impossible.

KO: Why so?

NANK: To-day I die.

KO: What do you mean?

NANK: I can't live without Yum-Yum. This afternoon I perform the Happy Despatch.

KO: No, no--pardon me--I can't allow that.

NANK: Why not?

KO: Why, hang it all, you're under contract to die by the hand of the Public Executioner in a month's time! If you kill yourself, what's to become of me? Why, I shall have to be executed in your place!

NANK: It would certainly seem so!

Pooh-Bah steps back onto the stage.

KO: Now then, Lord Mayor, what is it?

POOH-BAH: The Mikado and his suite are approaching the city, and will be here in ten minutes.

KO: The Mikado! He's coming to see whether his orders have been carried out! (To Nanki-Poo) Now look here, you know--this is getting serious--a bargain's a bargain, and you really mustn't frustrate the ends of justice by committing suicide. As a man of honour and a gentleman, you are bound to die ignominiously by the hands of the Public Executioner.

NANK: Very well, then--behead me.

KO: What, now?

NANK: Certainly; at once.

POOH-BAH: Chop it off! Chop it off!

KO: My good sir, I don't go about prepared to execute gentlemen at a moment's notice. Why, I never even killed a blue-bottle!

POOH-BAH: Still, as Lord High Executioner----

KO: My good sir, as Lord High Executioner, I've got to behead him in a month. I'm not ready yet. I don't know how it's done. I'm going to take lessons. I mean to begin with a guinea pig, and work my way through the animal kingdom till I come to a Second Trombone. Why, you don't suppose that, as a humane man, I'd have accepted the post of Lord High Executioner if I hadn't thought the duties were purely nominal? I can't kill you--I can't kill anything! I can't kill anybody!

Andreus promptly bursts into tears.

NANK: Come, my poor fellow, we all have unpleasant duties to discharge at times; after all, what is it? If I don't mind, why should you? Remember, sooner or later it must be done.

KO: (springing up suddenly) Must it? I'm not so sure about that!

NANK: What do you mean?

KO: Why should I kill you when making an affidavit that you've been executed will do just as well? Here are plenty of witnesses--the Lord Chief Justice, Lord High Admiral, Commander-in-Chief, Secretary of State for the Home Department, First Lord of the Treasury, and Chief Commissioner of Police.

NANK: But where are they?

KO: There they are. They'll all swear to it--won't you?

POOH-BAH: Am I to understand that all of us high Officers of State are required to perjure ourselves to ensure your safety?

KO: Why not! You'll be grossly insulted, as usual.

POOH-BAH: Will the insult be cash down, or at a date?

KO: It will be a ready-money transaction.

POOH-BAH: (Aside) Well, it will be a useful discipline. (Aloud) Very good. Choose your fiction, and I'll endorse it! (Aside) Ha! ha! Family Pride, how do you like that, my buck?

NANK: But I tell you that life without Yum-Yum----

KO: Oh, Yum-Yum, Yum-Yum! Bother Yum-Yum! Here, Commissionaire (to Pooh-Bah), go and fetch Yum-Yum. (Exit Pooh-Bah.) Take Yum-Yum and marry Yum-Yum, only go away and never come back again. (Enter Pooh-Bah with Yum-Yum.) Here she is. Yum-Yum, are you particularly busy?

YUM-YUM: Not particularly.

KO: You've five minutes to spare?

YUM-YUM: Yes.

KO: Then go along with his Grace the Archbishop of Titipu; he'll marry you at once.

YUM-YUM: But if I'm to be buried alive?

KO: Now, don't ask any questions, but do as I tell you, and Nanki-Poo will explain all.

NANK: But one moment----

KO: Not for worlds. Here comes the Mikado, no doubt to ascertain whether I've obeyed his decree, and if he finds you alive I shall have the greatest difficulty in persuading him that I've beheaded you. (Exeunt Nanki-Poo and Yum-Yum, followed by Pooh-Bah.) Close thing that, for here he comes!

The menacing beating of drums can be heard all through the opera house. Prince Andreus looks around, and rushes off stage, as the chorus enters in elaborate procession, dressed as Japanese courtiers.

The crowd applauds as Sir Constantine the Hardy, dressed as a samurai, leads out a troop of twelve other samurai. The troop is composed of a variety of nobles, and includes two rather awkwardly dressed young ladies - Prince Basil's daughters, who look quite absurd in the samurai gear!

As the chorus separates into lines, and the samurai post themselves to the edges of the stage, two very impressive looking figures are carried on stage on golden thrones by dozens of stagehands. The thrones are set down on stage and the light falls onto the two figures. Princess Irene reprises her role as Katisha, once again made up to look quite terrifying. The crowd murmurs excitedly and then starts applauding (with quite a few people in the audience raising their right arms in salute and shouting "Ave Caesar"), as it realises that playing the part of the Mikado is none other than His Most Catholic and Imperial Majesty, the Emperor Andreus! The two regal figures rise from their thrones, and advance down the stage, to stand in the centre of the lines of courtiers, who begin to sing.

CHORUS:
Miya sama, miya sama,
On n'm-ma no mayé‚ ni
Pira-Pira suru no wa
Nan gia na
Toko tonyaré tonyaré na!

Miya sama, miya sama,
On n'm-ma no mayé‚ ni
Pira-Pira suru no wa
Nan gia na
Toko tonyaré tonyaré na!

MIKADO:
From every kind of man
Obedience I expect;
I'm the Emperor of Japan--

KATISHA:
And I'm his daughter-in-law elect!
He'll marry his son
(He's only got one)
To his daughter-in-law elect!

The Mikado glances at Katisha, looking slightly annoyed, before returning his stare to the audience. Emperor Andreus sings in a deep, strong voice, and does so surprisingly well.

MIKADO:
My morals have been declared
Particularly correct;

KATISHA:
But they're nothing at all, compared
With those of his daughter-in-law elect!
Bow--Bow--
To his daughter-in-law elect!

The courtiers all bow to Katisha.

CHORUS:
Bow--Bow--
To his daughter-in-law elect.

Looking annoyed, the Mikado opens his fan, and holds it in front of Katisha's face.

MIKADO:
In a fatherly kind of way
I govern each tribe and sect,
All cheerfully own my sway--

Katisha opens her fan and holds it in front of the Mikado's face after pulling the Mikado's arm down to uncover her own.

KATISHA:
Except his daughter-in-law elect!
As tough as a bone,
With a will of her own,
Is his daughter-in-law elect!

MIKADO:
My nature is love and light--
My freedom from all defect--

KATISHA:
Is insignificant quite,
Compared with his daughter-in-law elect!
Bow--Bow--
To his daughter-in-law elect!

The courtiers all bow to Katisha.

CHORUS:
Bow--Bow--
To his daughter-in-law elect.

Princess Irene sits back down in one of the thrones as the music changes and the Emperor stalks about the stage.

MIKADO:
A more humane Mikado never
Did in Japan exist,
To nobody second,
I'm certainly reckoned
A true philanthropist.
It is my very humane endeavour
To make, to some extent,
Each evil liver
A running river
Of harmless merriment.

My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time--
To let the punishment fit the crime--
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!

All prosy dull society sinners,
Who chatter and bleat and bore,
Are sent to hear sermons
From mystical Germans
Who preach from ten till four.
The amateur tenor, whose vocal villainies
All desire to shirk,
Shall, during off-hours,
Exhibit his powers
To Madame Tussaud's waxwork.

The lady who dyes a chemical yellow
Or stains her grey hair puce,
Or pinches her figure,
Is painted with vigour
With permanent walnut juice.
The idiot who, in railway carriages,
Scribbles on window-panes,
We only suffer
To ride on a buffer
In Parliamentary trains.

My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time--
To let the punishment fit the crime--
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!

CHORUS:
His object all sublime
He shall achieve in time--
To let the punishment fit the crime--
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!

MIKADO:
The advertising quack who wearies
With tales of countless cures,
His teeth, I've enacted,
Shall all be extracted
By terrified amateurs.
The music-hall singer attends a series
Of masses and fugues and "ops"
By Bach, interwoven
With Spohr and Beethoven,
At classical Monday Pops.

The billiard sharp who any one catches,
His doom's extremely hard--
He's made to dwell--
In a dungeon cell
On a spot that's always barred.
And there he plays extravagant matches
In fitless finger-stalls
On a cloth untrue
With a twisted cue
And elliptical billiard balls!

My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time--
To let the punishment fit the crime--
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!

CHORUS:
His object all sublime
He shall achieve in time--
To let the punishment fit the crime--
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!

Pooh-Bah, Ko-Ko, and Pitti-Sing enter, and all kneel before the Mikado as the music stops.

<TAG> just to show I'm still around - can't think of a way to insert myself into the "Arrest and Trial of..." thread, so I guess I'll have to wait for the weding to bring Tharn back into view. (He's watching the Mikado, of course, but that doesn't give him much reason to make himself known...)

<TAG> just to show I'm still around - can't think of a way to insert myself into the "Arrest and Trial of..." thread, so I guess I'll have to wait for the weding to bring Tharn back into view. (He's watching the Mikado, of course, but that doesn't give him much reason to make himself known...)
OOC: Yay! Thanks for letting me know you're still here!

Pooh-Bah hands a piece of paper to Ko-Ko.

KO: I am honoured in being permitted to welcome your Majesty. I guess the object of your Majesty's visit--your wishes have been attended to. The execution has taken place.
MIKADO: Oh, you've had an execution, have you?
KO: Yes. The Coroner has just handed me his certificate.
POOH: I am the Coroner. (Ko-Ko hands certificate to Mikado.)
MIKADO: And this is the certificate of his death. (Reads.) "At Titipu, in the presence of the Lord Chancellor, Lord Chief Justice, Attorney-General, Secretary of State for the Home Department, Lord Mayor, and Groom of the Second Floor Front----"

The Emperor looks up as the list goes on.

POOH: They were all present, your Majesty. I counted them myself.
MIKADO: Very good house. I wish I'd been in time for the performance.
KO: A tough fellow he was, too--a man of gigantic strength. His struggles were terrific. It was a remarkable scene.
MIKADO: Describe it.

The music starts again.

KO:
The criminal cried, as he dropped him down,
In a state of wild alarm--
With a frightful, frantic, fearful frown,
I bared my big right arm.
I seized him by his little pig-tail,
And on his knees fell he,
As he squirmed and struggled,
And gurgled and guggled,
I drew my snickersnee, my snickersnee!
Oh, never shall I
Forget the cry,
Or the shriek that shriekèd he,
As I gnashed my teeth,
When from its sheath
I drew my snickersnee!

CHORUS:
We know him well,
He cannot tell
Untrue or groundless tales--
He always tries
To utter lies,
And every time he fails.

PITTI:
He shivered and shook as he gave the sign
For the stroke he didn't deserve;
When all of a sudden his eye met mine,
And it seemed to brace his nerve;
For he nodded his head and kissed his hand,
And he whistled an air, did he,
As the sabre true
Cut cleanly through
His cervical vertebrae, his vertebrae!

When a man's afraid,
A beautiful maid
Is a cheering sight to see;
And it's oh, I'm glad
That moment sad
Was soothed by sight of me!

CHORUS:
Her terrible tale
You can't assail,
With truth it quite agrees:
Her taste exact
For faultless fact
Amounts to a disease.

POOH:
Now though you'd have said that head was dead
(For its owner dead was he),
It stood on its neck, with a smile well-bred,
And bowed three times to me!
It was none of your impudent off-hand nods,
But as humble as could be;
For it clearly knew
The deference due
To a man of pedigree, of pedigree!
And it's oh, I vow,
This deathly bow
Was a touching sight to see;
Though trunkless, yet
It couldn't forget
The deference due to me!

CHORUS:
This haughty youth,
He speaks the truth
Whenever he finds it pays:
And in this case
It all took place
Exactly as he says!

ALL:
Exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly as he says!

The music comes to a close and the chorus of courtiers exits.

MIK:
All this is very interesting, and I should like to have seen it. But we came about a totally different matter. A year ago my son, the heir to the throne of Japan, bolted from our Imperial Court.

KO:
Indeed! Had he any reason to be dissatisfied with his position?

KAT:
None whatever. On the contrary, I was going to marry him--yet he fled!

POOH:
I am surprised that he should have fled from one so lovely!

KAT:
That's not true.

POOH:
No!

KAT:
You hold that I am not beautiful because my face is plain. But you know nothing; you are still unenlightened. Learn, then, that it is not in the face alone that beauty is to be sought. My face is unattractive!

POOH:
It is.

KAT:
But I have a left shoulder-blade that is a miracle of loveliness. People come miles to see it. My right elbow has a fascination that few can resist.

POOH:
Allow me!

KAT:
It is on view Tuesdays and Fridays, on presentation of visiting card. As for my circulation, it is the largest in the world.

KO:
And yet he fled!

MIK:
And is now masquerading in this town, disguised as a Second Trombone.

KO., POOH., and PITTI:
A Second Trombone!?!?!?!

The three suppliants bite their lips and look concerned.

MIK:
Yes; would it be troubling you too much if I asked you to produce him? He goes by the name of----

KAT:
Nanki-Poo.

MIK:
Nanki-Poo.

KO:
Eh... eh... It's quite easy. Erm, that is, it's rather difficult. In point of fact, he's gone abroad!

MIK:
Gone abroad! His address?

KO:
New Constantinople!

KAT:
(who is reading certificate of death) Agh!

Katisha utters a groan of distress.

MIK:
What's the matter?

KAT:
See here--his name--Nanki-Poo--beheaded this morning. Oh, where shall I find another? Where shall I find another?

Ko-Ko, Pooh-Bah, and Pitti-Sing fall on their knees.

MIK:
(looking at paper). Dear, dear, dear! this is very tiresome. (To Ko-Ko.) My poor fellow, in your anxiety to carry out my wishes you have beheaded the heir to the throne of Japan!

KO:
I beg to offer an unqualified apology.

POOH:
I desire to associate myself with that expression of regret.

PITTI:
We really hadn't the least notion--

MIK:
Of course you hadn't. How could you? Come, come, my good fellow, don't distress yourself--it was no fault of yours. If a man of exalted rank chooses to disguise himself as a Second Trombone, he must take the consequences. It really distresses me to see you take on so. I've no doubt he thoroughly deserved all he got. (They rise.)

KO:
We are infinitely obliged to your Majesty----

PITTI:
Much obliged, your Majesty.

POOH:
Very much obliged, your Majesty.

MIK:
Obliged? not a bit. Don't mention it. How could you tell?

POOH:
No, of course we couldn't tell who the gentleman really was.

PITTI:
It wasn't written on his forehead, you know.

KO:
It might have been on his pocket-handkerchief.... but Japanese don't use pocket-handkerchiefs! Ha! ha! ha!

MIK:
Ha! ha! ha! (To Katisha.) I forget the punishment for compassing the death of the Heir Apparent.

A collective gasp is issued by Ko-Ko, Pooh-Bah and Pitti-Sing, who all drop to their knees.

KO., POOH, and PITTI:
Punishment???

MIK:
Yes. Something lingering, with boiling oil in it, I fancy. Something of that sort. I think boiling oil occurs in it, but I'm not sure. I know it's something humorous, but lingering, with either boiling oil or melted lead. Come, come, don't fret--I'm not a bit angry.

KO:
(in abject terror). If your Majesty will accept our assurance, we had no idea----

MIK:
Of course----

PITTI:
I knew nothing about it.

POOH:
I wasn't there.

MIK:
That's the pathetic part of it. Unfortunately, the fool of an Act says "compassing the death of the Heir Apparent." There's not a word about a mistake----

KO., PITTI., and POOH:
No!

MIK:
Or not knowing----

KO:
No!

MIK:
Or having no notion----

PITTI:
No!

MIK:
Or not being there----

POOH:
No!

MIK:
There should be, of course---

KO., PITTI., and POOH:
Yes!

MIK:
But there isn't.

KO., PITTI., and POOH:
Oh!

MIK:
That's the slovenly way in which these Acts are always drawn. However, cheer up, it'll be all right. I'll have it altered next session. Now, let's see about your execution--will after luncheon suit you? Can you wait till then?

KO., PITTI., and POOH:
Oh, yes--we can wait till then!

MIK:
Then we'll make it after luncheon.

POOH:
I don't want any lunch.

MIK:
I'm really very sorry for you all, but it's an unjust world, and virtue is triumphant only in theatrical performances.

The orchestra starts to play as the Emperor steps down from his throne and approaches the kneeling trio, with a grin on his face.

MIKADO:
See how the Fates their gifts allot,
For A is happy--B is not.
Yet B is worthy, I dare say,
Of more prosperity than A!

KO., POOH., and PITTI:
Is B more worthy?

Princess Irene steps down from her throne to join the Emperor.

KATISHA:
I should say
He's worth a great deal more than A.

ENSEMBLE:
Yet A is happy!
Oh, so happy!
Laughing, Ha! ha!
Chaffing, Ha! ha!
Nectar quaffing, Ha! ha! ha!
Ever joyous, ever gay,
Happy, undeserving A!
Ever joyous, ever gay,
Happy, undeserving A!

KO., POOH., and PITTI.
If I were
Fortune--which I'm not--
B should enjoy A's happy lot,
And A should die in miserie--
That is, assuming I am B.

MIKADO and KATISHA:
But should A perish?

KO., POOH., and PITTI.
That should be
(Of course, assuming I am B).

ENSEMBLE:
B should be happy!
Oh, so happy!
Laughing, Ha! ha!
Chaffing, Ha! ha!
Nectar quaffing, Ha! ha! ha!
But condemned to die is he,
Wretched meritorious B!
But condemned to die is he,
Wretched meritorious B!

The Mikado and Katisha smile at each other and walk arm in arm off the stage, leaving the wretched condemned trio alone.

KO:
Well, a nice mess you've got us into, with your nodding head and the deference due to a man of pedigree!
POOH:
Merely corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.
PITTI:
Corroborative detail indeed! Corroborative fiddlestick!
KO:
And you're just as bad as he is with your cock-and-a-bull stories about catching his eye and his whistling an air. But that's so like you! You must put in your oar!
POOH:
But how about your big right arm?
PITTI:
Yes, and your snickersnee!
KO:
Well, well, never mind that now. There's only one thing to be done. Nanki-Poo hasn't started yet--- he must come to life again at once. (Enter Nanki-Poo and Yum-Yum prepared for journey.) Here he comes. Here, Nanki-Poo, I've good news for you--you're reprieved.
NANK:
Oh, but it's too late. I'm a dead man, and I'm off for my honeymoon.
KO:
Nonsense! A terrible thing has just happened. It seems you're the son of the Mikado.
NANK:
Yes, but that happened some time ago.
KO:
Is this a time for airy persiflage? Your father is here, and with Katisha!
NANK:
My father! And with Katisha!
KO:
Yes, he wants you particularly.
POOH:
So does she.
YUM:
Oh, but he's married now.
KO:
But, bless my heart! what has that to do with it?
NANK:
Katisha claims me in marriage, but I can't marry her because I'm married already--consequently she will insist on my execution, and if I'm executed, my wife will have to be buried alive.
YUM:
You see our difficulty.
KO:
Yes. I don't know what's to be done.
NANK:
There's one chance for you. If you could persuade Katisha to marry you, she would have no further claim on me, and in that case I could come to life without any fear of being put to death.
KO:
I marry Katisha!
YUM:
I really think it's the only course.
KO:
But, my good girl, have you seen her? She's something appalling!
PITTI:
Ah! that's only her face. She has a left elbow which people come miles to see!
POOH:
I am told that her right heel is much admired by connoisseurs.
KO:
My good sir, I decline to pin my heart upon any lady's right heel.
NANK:
It comes to this:
While Katisha is single, I prefer to be a disembodied spirit. When Katisha is married, existence will be as welcome as the flowers in spring.

<Finally! Nearing the end! YAY!>

And the Emperor's airplane is finally approaching Pantocratorian airspace...

(OOC: Doing the Mikado was a cool idea. Pantocratoria, you've put a lot of work into this! Well done!)

OOC: Cool idea, but it takes a while to pull off as Roania observes!

Everybody starts to dance as music starts playing again.

NANKI-POO:
The flowers that bloom in the spring,
Tra la,
Breathe promise of merry sunshine.
As we merrily dance and we sing,
Tra la,
We welcome the hope that they bring,
Tra la,
Of a summer of roses and wine,
Of a summer of roses and wine.
And that's what we mean when we say that a thing
Is welcome as flowers that bloom in the spring.
Tra la la la la,
Tra la la la la,
The flowers that bloom in the spring.
Tra la la la la,
Tra la la la la,
Tra la la la la la!

KO-KO:
The flowers that bloom in the spring,
Tra la,
Have nothing to do with the case.
I've got to take under my wing,
Tra la,
A most unattractive old thing,
Tra la,
With a caricature of a face,
With a caricature of a face;
And that's what I mean when I say, or I sing,
"Oh, bother the flowers that bloom in the spring."
Tra la la la la,
Tra la la la la,
Oh bother the flowers of spring.
Tra la la la la,
Tra la la la la,
Tra la la la la la!

Everyone leaves the stage.

Princess Irene strides onto the stage in the spotlight, with a miserable expression on her face. The crowd claps - clearly Irene's performance as Katisha, poking fun at her own stern reputation, has softened the public's perception of her.

KATISHA:
Alone, and yet alive! Oh, sepulchre!
My soul is still my body's prisoner!
Remote the peace that Death alone can give--
My doom, to wait! my punishment, to live!

Hearts do not break!
They sting and ache
For old love's sake,
But do not die,
Though with each breath
They long for death
As witnesseth
The living I!
The living I!
Oh, living I!
Come, tell me why,
When hope is gone,
Dost thou stay on?
Why linger here,
Where all is drear?
Oh, living I!
Come, tell me why,
When hope is gone,
Dost thou stay on?
May not a cheated maiden die?
May not a cheated maiden die?

Ko-Ko nervously walks onto the stage, approaching Katisha timidly.

KO:
Katisha!

KAT:
The miscreant who robbed me of my love! But vengeance pursues--they are heating the cauldron!

Ko-Ko yelps and falls to his stomach before Katisha. The mighty Despot of New Constantinople on his belly before his aunt!

KO:
Katisha--behold a suppliant at your feet! Katisha--mercy!

KAT:
Mercy? Had you mercy on him? See here, you! You have slain my love. He did not love me, but he would have loved me in time. I am an acquired taste--only the educated palate can appreciate me. I was educating his palate when he left me. Well, he is dead, and where shall I find another? It takes years to train a man to love me. Am I to go through the weary round again, and, at the same time, implore mercy for you who robbed me of my prey--I mean my pupil--just as his education was on the point of completion? Oh, where shall I find another?

KO:
(suddenly, and with great vehemence) Here!--Here!

KAT:
What!!!

KO:
(with intense passion) Katisha, for years I have loved you with a white-hot passion that is slowly but surely consuming my very vitals! Ah, shrink not from me! If there is aught of woman's mercy in your heart, turn not away from a love-sick suppliant whose every fibre thrills at your tiniest touch! True it is that, under a poor mask of disgust, I have endeavoured to conceal a passion whose inner fires are broiling the soul within me! But the fire will not be smothered--it defies all attempts at extinction, and, breaking forth, all the more eagerly for its long restraint, it declares itself in words that will not be weighed--that cannot be schooled--that should not be too severely criticised. Katisha, I dare not hope for your love--but I will not live without it! Darling!

KAT:
You, whose hands still reek with the blood of my betrothed, dare to address words of passion to the woman you have so foully wronged!

KO:
I do--accept my love, or I perish on the spot!

KAT:
Go to! Who knows so well as I that no one ever yet died of a broken heart!

KO:
You know not what you say. Listen!

Sad music starts playing.

KO-KO:
On a tree by a river a little tom-tit
Sang "Willow, titwillow, titwillow!"
And I said to him, "Dicky-bird, why do you sit
Singing 'Willow, titwillow, titwillow'?"
"Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?" I cried,
"Or a rather tough worm in your little inside?"
With a shake of his poor little head, he replied,
"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!"

He slapped at his chest, as he sat on that bough,
Singing "Willow, titwillow, titwillow!"
And a cold perspiration bespangled his brow,
Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!
He sobbed and he sighed, and a gurgle he gave,
Then he plunged himself into the billowy wave,
And an echo arose from the suicide's grave--
"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!"

Now I feel just as sure as I'm sure that my name
Isn't Willow, titwillow, titwillow,
That 'twas blighted affection that made him exclaim
"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!"
And if you remain callous and obdurate, I
Shall perish as he did, and you will know why,
Though I probably shall not exclaim as I die,
"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!"

At the completion of the song, Princess Irene bursts into tears and flings herself onto her nephew's shoulder.

KAT:
(whimpering). Did he really die of love?

KO:
He really did.

KAT:
All on account of a cruel little hen?

KO:
Yes.

KAT:
Poor little chap!

KO:
It's an affecting tale, and quite true. I knew the bird intimately.


KAT:
Did you? He must have been very fond of her.

KO.
His devotion was something extraordinary.

KAT.
(still wimpering) Poor little chap! And--and if I refuse you, will you go and do the same?

KO.
At once.

KAT.
No, no--you mustn't! Anything but that! (Falls on his breast.) Oh, I'm a silly little goose!

KO.
(making a wry face) You are!

KAT.
And you won't hate me because I'm just a little teeny weeny wee bit bloodthirsty, will you?

KO.
Hate you? Oh, Katisha! is there not beauty even in bloodthirstiness?

KAT.
My idea exactly.

A lively tune starts up.

KAT:

There is beauty in the bellow of the blast,
There is grandeur in the growling of the gale,
There is eloquent outpouring
When the lion is a-roaring,
And the tiger is a-lashing of his tail!

KO:
Yes, I like to see a tiger
From the Congo or the Niger,
And especially when lashing of his tail!

KAT:
Volcanoes have a splendor that is grim,
And earthquakes only terrify the dolts,
But to him who's scientific
There's nothing that's terrific
In the falling of a flight of thunderbolts!

KO:
Yes, in spite of all my meekness,
If I have a little weakness,
It's a passion for a flight of thunderbolts!

BOTH:
If that is so,
Sing derry down derry!
It's evident, very,
Our tastes are one.
Away we'll go,
And merrily marry,
Nor tardily tarry
Till day is done!

KO:
There is beauty in extreme old age--
Do you fancy you are elderly enough?
Information I'm requesting
On a subject interesting:
Is a maiden all the better when she's tough?

KAT:
Throughout this wide dominion
It's the general opinion
That she'll last a good deal longer when she's tough.

KO:
Are you old enough to marry, do you think?
Won't you wait till you are eighty in the shade?
There's a fascination frantic
In a ruin that's romantic;
Do you think you are sufficiently decayed?

KAT:
To the matter that you mention
I have given some attention,
And I think I am sufficiently decayed.

BOTH:
If that is so,
Sing derry down derry!
It's evident, very,
Our tastes are one.
Away we'll go,
And merrily marry,
Nor tardily tarry
Till day is done!

The two leave together, arm in arm.

The Mikado, Pish-Tush and the court come on stage with much flourish.

MIK.
Now then, we've had a capital lunch, and we're quite ready. Have all the painful preparations been made?

PISH.
Your Majesty, all is prepared.

MIK.
Then produce the unfortunate gentleman and his two well-meaning but misguided accomplices.

Enter Ko-Ko, Katisha, Pooh-Bah, and Pitti-Sing. They throw themselves at the Mikado's feet

KAT.
Mercy! Mercy for Ko-Ko! Mercy for Pitti-Sing! Mercy even for Pooh-Bah!

MIK.
I beg your pardon, I don't think I quite caught that remark.

POOH.
Mercy even for Pooh-Bah.

The crowd laughs.

KAT.
Mercy! My husband that was to have been is dead, and I have just married this miserable object.

MIK.
Oh! You've not been long about it!

KO.
We were married before the Registrar.

POOH.
I am the Registrar!

MIK.
I see. But my difficulty is that, as you have slain the Heir Apparent----

Enter Nanki-Poo and Yum-Yum. They kneel.

NANK.
The Heir Apparent is not slain.

MIK.
Bless my heart, my son!

YUM.
And your daughter-in-law elected!

KAT.
(seizing Ko-Ko) Traitor, you have deceived me!

MIK.
Yes, you are entitled to a little explanation, but I think he will give it better whole than in pieces.

KO.
Your Majesty, it's like this: It is true that I stated that I had killed Nanki-Poo----

MIK.
Yes, with most affecting particulars.

POOH.
Merely corroborative detail intended to give artistic verisimilitude to a bald and----

KO.
Will you refrain from putting in your oar? (To Mikado.) It's like this: When your Majesty says, "Let a thing be done," it's as good as done--practically, it is done--because your Majesty's will is law. Your Majesty says, "Kill a gentleman," and a gentleman is told off to be killed. Consequently, that gentleman is as good as dead--practically, he is dead--and if he is dead, why not say so?

MIK.
I see. Nothing could possibly be more satisfactory!

Music starts playing.

PITTI.
For he's gone and married Yum-Yum--

CHORUS.
Yum-Yum!

PITTI.
Your anger pray bury,
For all will be merry,
I think you had better succumb--

CHORUS.
Cumb--cumb!

PITTI.
And join our expressions of glee!

KO-KO.
On this subject I pray you be dumb--

CHORUS.
Dumb--dumb.

KO-KO.
Your notions, though many,
Are not worth a penny,
The word for your guidance is "Mum"--

CHORUS.
Mum--mum!

KO-KO.
You've a very good bargain in me.

KO-KO and CHORUS.
On this subject we pray you be dumb--
Dumb--dumb.
We think you had better succumb--
Cumb--cumb!
You'll find there are many
Who'll wed for a penny--
Who'll wed for a penny!
There are lots of good fish in the sea!
There are lots of good fish in the sea!
There's lots of good fish, good fish in the sea!
There's lots of good fish, good fish in the sea, in the sea, in the sea, in the sea, in the sea!

NANKI-POO.
The treatened cloud has passed away,

YUM-YUM.
And fairly shines the dawning day.

NANKI-POO.
What tho' the night may come too soon,

YUM-YUM.
We've years and years of afternoon!

ALL.
Then let the throng
Our joy advance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,

Then let the throng
Our joy advance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,
With laughing song---

With joyous shout, with joyous shout and ringing cheer,
Inaugurate, inaugurate their new career!

With joyous shout and ringing cheer,
Inaugurate their new career!
With joyous shout and ringing cheer,
Inaugurate their new career!
With song and dance,
With song and dance.

The curtain falls, and the crowd applauds the Imperial performance of what is perhaps Gilbert and Sullivan's very best opera.

OOC: I'm sorry that was so dragged out! I love the idea of the Imperial Family putting on a production of the Mikado, but the actual implementation thereof took its own sweet bloody time! Never again! :D

After removing her Japanese wig, Princess Theodora wanders about the reception hall for visiting dignitaries in the opera house, still in her Japanese make-up and wearing a kimono. She pulls a page aside.

"Have you seen Prince Tharn of Wyrmberg here?" she asks him.

"Erm... I'm sorry... erm... Your Highness...." says the page, recognising Theodora through the face paint. "I've not seen Prince Tharn here... but that doesn't mean he isn't..."

The page nods and proceeds with his duties. A pair of courtiers approach Theodora.

"Oh, I simply must congratulate Your Highness on a marvellous performance..." starts the tedious Countess of Louisany, as Theodora's eyes dart about the room, looking for Prince Tharn, or even just a way to avoid the Countess' bleating.

As the rest of the audience rose and began to disperse, Tharn stood and scaned the crowd for people he knew.
Syping a slight, kimono'd figure, he wondered where he has seen her before until, below the stage-makeup, he recognised the Princess Theodora.
Making his way carefully between the other foreign dignitaries, he headed towards where she stood talking to another noblewoman (although he noticed that she did not seem particularly interrested in the conersation...)


OOC: My apologies if this post contains a spectacular number of mistakes - it's 4.15 am here, I haven't slept for about 36 hrs, and I've just got back from a club where beers where £1 each. Gotta love that student lifestyle :D

Theodora spots Tharn in the background, and her eyes light up. She looks back at the Countess.

"Pardon me, your ladyship, but Prince Tharn of Wyrmberg looks terribly lost. I really should see to him. Darn!" she says, feigning dismay. "We'll have to continue this discussion some other time, madame!"

The Countess "hmphs!" as Theodora darts across the room to Prince Tharn.

"When a man's afraid, a beautiful maid is a soothing sight to see..." she says lightly. "What did Your Highness think of our performance?"

((OOC: Many apologies for the late reply - I read your post the day after you posted it, but for RL reasons haven't had time to reply till now. Hope I haven't held things up. Anyway, here goes...)

Tharn smiles, recognising the quotation (one of Theodora's lines from the play). Scared he may not be, but the sight of the Princess is undoubtedly cheering...

"Most impressive, Your Highness" he replies sincerely (noticing that they'd gone back to calling each other by their titles). "Had I not known better, I would have thought it a production by a troup of professional actors.
I am afraid I arrived a little late, but luckily I was just in time for your and your sisters' entrance. I was most impressed by your singing voices - tell me, do you take lessons?"

((OOC again: A very impressive performance - as far as i know this is the first time anyone roleplayed a performance of a musical on Nationstates. Must have taken a lot of effort though - not sure I would have had the patience! Great work)

Theodora blushes, delighted at the compliment.

"Why thankyou Your Highness... yes, we all take lessons, although we rarely sing in front of other people." says Theodora. She glances back over her shoulder - the Countess of Louisany is still there, obviously eavesdropping. Theodora looks back at Tharn and indicates to the Countess with her eyes. "Say, Your Highness, did you have something you needed to show me, elsewhere?"

After the performance, Ambassador Rev. Jacob Donnelly makes his way backstage. He scans the crowd looking for Prince Joseph and Princess Anna. He carries a bouquet for the Princess and word for the Prince that his parents will be arriving in the morning.

(OCC: Establishing presence as much as anything...)

OOC: Welcome back Excalbia!

IC: Prince Joseph (OOC: Over whom I now return my briefly usurped control!) and Princess Anna sit in the corridor outside the various dressing rooms, having already changed out of their costumes and wiped the facepaint off their faces. Anna giggles uncharacteristically as the two speak.

"I never thought my aunt would go through with it!" Anna says. "We always rehearsed with the understudy, and everyone expected the understudy to play the part in the end. Wasn't she hilarious? And not too bad a singer either!"

Anna looks up and sees Donnelly, and hurriedly comes to her feet, to curtsy to the ambassador.

"Reverend," she says respectfully.

Catching Theodora's hint, Tharn grins and replies (a little loudler than usual, for the benefit of the woman the Princess wants to get away from):
"Why, so I did your Highness! Would you believe it had almost slipped my mind? It's just over here..."
As he leads her across the room (with no particular destination in mind - just away from where they were) he indicates the woman with a slight jerk of his head and asks, in a voice low enough that only he and the Princess can hear it:
"Someone you'd rather avoid, I take it?"

OOC: I'm sorry that was so dragged out! I love the idea of the Imperial Family putting on a production of the Mikado, but the actual implementation thereof took its own sweet bloody time! Never again! :D

Simon snored, gently, on the sofa. One of the legionnaires shook him. "M'lord? It's over!"

Simon jumped up and began to flap his hands together. "Bravo! Bravo!" He whispered to the legionnaires, "I hope they never get their hands on the script for the Ring Saga."

OOC: Welcome back Excalbia!

IC: Prince Joseph (OOC: Over whom I now return my briefly usurped control!) and Princess Anna sit in the corridor outside the various dressing rooms, having already changed out of their costumes and wiped the facepaint off their faces. Anna giggles uncharacteristically as the two speak.

"I never thought my aunt would go through with it!" Anna says. "We always rehearsed with the understudy, and everyone expected the understudy to play the part in the end. Wasn't she hilarious? And not too bad a singer either!"

Anna looks up and sees Donnelly, and hurriedly comes to her feet, to curtsy to the ambassador.

"Reverend," she says respectfully.

Ambassador Rev. Donnelly bows to the Princess, then presents her with the bouquet. "An outstanding performance, Your Highness, congratulations!"

Then, turning towards Prince Joseph, Donnelly says with a wink, "I must say that I didn't know you had it you, Your Highness. This brings out an entirely new side of you."

Joseph returns the Ambassador's smile. "Yes," he glances at Anna, "the Princess has brought out a new side of me."

"Oh, Your Highness, before I forget, their Imperial Majesties - your parents - are finally on their way. They should land in New Rome tomorrow morning."

Joseph smile seems to momentarily dim. "I was hoping they'd be here tonight..."

"Unfortunately, the situation in Upper Virginia remains very grave. The Emperor left as soon as he could, but," Donnelly glances around and lowers his voice slightly, "our armed forces remain on war alert. I fear the situation will not soon improve. And, Your Highness, you should know that there's been an attempt to assassinate Cardinal Walsh - he's here in New Rome for a church council - but he's all right and the police have detained someone. Also, one of our agents is on the case."

Joseph nods gravely. "Thank you. Please keep me informed."

"Yes, Your Highness." Then, his voice noticeably lighter, "on a happier note, you should know that we did record the performance. I plan to present the disk to your parents as a gift after they arrive."

Joseph's smile returns. He looks at Anna. "Anna, I can't wait for my parents to meet you! And for you to meet them. I hope you'll like them!"

Simon and the Legionnares enter the room, in ceremonial armor. "Your Highnesses, your majesties, your eminences." He nods to each in turn. "I congratulate you on a wonderful performance, and am pleased to announce that all of your gifts are perfectly safe."

Catching Theodora's hint, Tharn grins and replies (a little loudler than usual, for the benefit of the woman the Princess wants to get away from):
"Why, so I did your Highness! Would you believe it had almost slipped my mind? It's just over here..."
As he leads her across the room (with no particular destination in mind - just away from where they were) he indicates the woman with a slight jerk of his head and asks, in a voice low enough that only he and the Princess can hear it:
"Someone you'd rather avoid, I take it?"

"She's such a frightful bore, that's all. And she's the gossip queen of New Rome..." Theodora says under her breath. She beams at Tharn.

"So... how is New Rome's newest mother going?" Theodora asks.

Simon and the Legionnares enter the room, in ceremonial armor. "Your Highnesses, your majesties, your eminences." He nods to each in turn. "I congratulate you on a wonderful performance, and am pleased to announce that all of your gifts are perfectly safe."

The Emperor, the facepaint gone, but the splendid Mikado's robes remaining, nods politely to Simon. Following behind him is his youngest girl, Princess Zoë.

"It gratifies me to hear that the gifts are safe, thanks to the diligence of your legionnaires, Inquisitor." says the Emperor. "So what say you, should we, in off hours, be singing to Madame Tussaud's waxwork?"

Zoë groans at the feeble joke and rolls her eyes. The Emperor turns to glare at her briefly, and the princess curtsies deeply.

"Your Majesty," she says.

The Emperor turns back to Simon with a pleased look on his face.

Ambassador Rev. Donnelly bows to the Princess, then presents her with the bouquet. "An outstanding performance, Your Highness, congratulations!"

Then, turning towards Prince Joseph, Donnelly says with a wink, "I must say that I didn't know you had it you, Your Highness. This brings out an entirely new side of you."

Joseph returns the Ambassador's smile. "Yes," he glances at Anna, "the Princess has brought out a new side of me."

"Oh, Your Highness, before I forget, their Imperial Majesties - your parents - are finally on their way. They should land in New Rome tomorrow morning."

Joseph smile seems to momentarily dim. "I was hoping they'd be here tonight..."

"Unfortunately, the situation in Upper Virginia remains very grave. The Emperor left as soon as he could, but," Donnelly glances around and lowers his voice slightly, "our armed forces remain on war alert. I fear the situation will not soon improve. And, Your Highness, you should know that there's been an attempt to assassinate Cardinal Walsh - he's here in New Rome for a church council - but he's all right and the police have detained someone. Also, one of our agents is on the case."

Joseph nods gravely. "Thank you. Please keep me informed."

"Yes, Your Highness." Then, his voice noticeably lighter, "on a happier note, you should know that we did record the performance. I plan to present the disk to your parents as a gift after they arrive."

Joseph's smile returns. He looks at Anna. "Anna, I can't wait for my parents to meet you! And for you to meet them. I hope you'll like them!"

Anna smiles back, but looks visibly nervous.

"I hope they'll like me...." she says, as if the thought didn't occur to her before. She bites lightly on her lower lip and looks back up at Joseph, concerned. "What if they don't like me?"

Simon and the Legionnares enter the room, in ceremonial armor. "Your Highnesses, your majesties, your eminences." He nods to each in turn. "I congratulate you on a wonderful performance, and am pleased to announce that all of your gifts are perfectly safe."

The Emperor, the facepaint gone, but the splendid Mikado's robes remaining, nods politely to Simon. Following behind him is his youngest girl, Princess Zoë.

"It gratifies me to hear that the gifts are safe, thanks to the diligence of your legionnaires, Inquisitor." says the Emperor. "So what say you, should we, in off hours, be singing to Madame Tussaud's waxwork?"

Zoë groans at the feeble joke and rolls her eyes. The Emperor turns to glare at her briefly, and the princess curtsies deeply.

"Your Majesty," she says.

The Emperor turns back to Simon with a pleased look on his face.

"Yeah! The gifts, we got new one, because he blew th" One of the legionnares started to say, just before accidentally being elbowed in the face.

"Oh... clumsy me." Simon said. "As for future performances, I have one thing to say... Wenn Gott Teufel küßt." Bowing, he moved towards the sofa on the opposite side of the room.

"I don't fancy either God or the Devil will be doing anything of the sort anytime soon..." says the Emperor bemusedly to himself as he turns back to the dressing room. "...and I don't suppose we'll be doing an encore anytime soon either."

Zoë looks thoroughly confused, and follows her father out of the hall.

OOC: If Simon had heard the emperor, he probably would have commited ritual suicide.

IC: "I hate Gilbert and Sullivan." Simon muttered.

OOC: If Simon had heard the emperor, he probably would have commited ritual suicide.

IC: "I hate Gilbert and Sullivan." Simon muttered.

OOC: But I said we won't be doing an encore! 8)

OOC: He didn't think the emperor understood German.

IC: "I wonder if Anna is around... I want to congratulate her." Simon said, scanning the room.

Princess Anna and Prince Joseph are sitting at the far end of the backstage corridor, speaking to Reverend Donnelly.

"She's such a frightful bore, that's all. And she's the gossip queen of New Rome..." Theodora says under her breath. She beams at Tharn.

"So... how is New Rome's newest mother going?" Theodora asks.

"She and her Clutch appear to be doing great, thankfully", Tharn replies with a smile that shows some of the relief he feels. "Barl tells me that she's begun to sense the minds of her offspring within their shells, and she's been busily nagging everyone 'till they got the heat right for them. Trust me", he added with a laugh, "a broody Firedrake is a force to be reckoned with. And being nagged telepathically is not an experience I'd recommend!"

"I'd imagine not!" Theodora says. "How long do you think until they hatch? Does Barl know? And with all this playing midwife, are you still coming to the wedding the day after tomorrow?"

Simon walked over to Anna. "My congratulations, Princess. You couldn't have a better man as your husband."

Momentarily distracted from her concerns about whether or not her future Excalbian in-laws will like her, Anna looks up at Simon with a smile.

"Thankyou so much, Inquisitor. I'm very happy with him myself." she says, playfully glancing at Joseph. "I trust you'll be attending the wedding the day after tomorrow?"

Simon glanced at Joseph, idly. "I see no reason why I shouldn't."

"I'd imagine not!" Theodora says. "How long do you think until they hatch? Does Barl know? And with all this playing midwife, are you still coming to the wedding the day after tomorrow?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. And anyway, if there's any problem - although, God willing, there won't be - Marol can tell me instantly, so there's really no point me hanging around the camp worrying."
"As to when they'll hatch," he continued, "we think that should be about a week after the wedding." He paused, then added: "The only thing I'm not so sure of is when I should make the announcement. I don't want to take any of the spotlight from the happy couple, but time is getting rather short... What do you think, Theodora?" he asked (unconsciously slipping back into first-name terms), "If you were in my position, when would youmake the announcement?"

Meanwhile, at New Rome's International Airport, a 737-800 touches down from one of the Holy Empire of Pantocratoria's vassal-states. Splendidly dressed Varangian Guardsmen stand on the tarmac, ready to receive the visitor, even at this extremely late hour of night. Stairs are brought down from the plane's exit, covered in red carpet.

"Aethelgyth, Princeps ex Anti-Avrilia, Regina Barbarus!" exclaims a herald as a horn is blown and the door opens. A fair-skinned, red-haired young woman of regal bearing, dressed in a luxurious fur coat, steps down from the plane.

She was the much beloved "cwene" of the Saxon and Scandinavian people of the island nation of Anti-Avril, a Pantocratorian protectorate in the archipelago. In the late 15th century, in early Pantocratoria, a large proportion of the population of the fledgling country was Anglosaxon in origin, descendents of the loyal members of the Varangian Guard which had joined the Order of the Pantocrator in its flight from the Morea after the fall of Constantinople. Struggling to rediscover a sense of national identity after losing their ancient city, and agreeing to keep the Catholic faith instead of traditional Greek Orthodoxy, many Pantocratorians fell back on the one thing they had left - they were Romans (well, Greeks really, but they wouldn't have appreciated that sentiment)! The Greek Pantocratorians began to resent their "barbarian" compatriots. The tension eventually became so great that the Emperor Demetrius IV Palaeologus expelled the "barbarians" (those who weren't serving in his personal guard) in 1507. They had made Aethelgyth's ancestor, Cyning Aethelhere I, the administrator, or princeps of Anti - Avril, but his own people crowned him king (cyning). Ever since, Pantocratorians had always referred to Aethelgyth's predecessors as Prince/Princess of Anti - Avril, King/Queen of the Barbarians.

By ancient custom, she was permitted to bring no guards or companions of her own to meet her suzerain, the Emperor, and so Queen Aethelgyth struck a somewhat lonely figure as she walked down the steps and onto the carpetted section of tarmac. The Varangians bowed respectfully. Many of them planned to retire to Anti - Avril after their careers in the Emperor's service had ended, and the vast majority of them admired this able and attractive young woman who administers her country with such skill.

Aethelgyth's blue eyes passed over the assembled Varangians. She saw no Emperor Andreus, or even one of his sons, to greet her and accept her submission and pledge of fealty, as was traditional. She stands in silence for a few moments before turning to the officer leading the troop.

"Where is my lord the Emperor?" she asks, apprehensively.

"His Most Catholic and Imperial Majesty is intending to important business. Your Highness will make her oath as per custom, but will do so tomorrow, when His Most Catholic and Imperial Majesty has time to receive you." says the officer, curtly.

Aethelgyth knew that the Emperor was deliberately sligthing her, although for what purpose, she could not say.

"Will I stand here until then?" Aethelgyth replies to the officer, who blinks in embarassment.

"Erm, pardon me, Your Highness. Please, follow me." he says, clicking his heels, leading the "Queen of the Barbarians" to a waiting Imperial Autos Limousine, while a half-dozen porters scurry about the royal aircraft, unpacking Aethelgyth's substantial luggage.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. And anyway, if there's any problem - although, God willing, there won't be - Marol can tell me instantly, so there's really no point me hanging around the camp worrying."
"As to when they'll hatch," he continued, "we think that should be about a week after the wedding." He paused, then added: "The only thing I'm not so sure of is when I should make the announcement. I don't want to take any of the spotlight from the happy couple, but time is getting rather short... What do you think, Theodora?" he asked (unconsciously slipping back into first-name terms), "If you were in my position, when would youmake the announcement?"

"Well I..." Theodora responds, but then stops herself. She looks at Tharn in the eye and says coyly, "I haven't the slightest idea! But... why not ask her? Does she even want you to make an announcement? Isn't she worried about what people who have never seen a firedrake before will think about one delivering hatchlings in the middle of the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator's garden?"

((OOC: Just to clarify - by "her", are you refering to Thaneth?))

((OOC: Just to clarify - by "her", are you refering to Thaneth?))

((OOC: Yes))

"Well I..." Theodora responds, but then stops herself. She looks at Tharn in the eye and says coyly, "I haven't the slightest idea! But... why not ask her? Does she even want you to make an announcement? Isn't she worried about what people who have never seen a firedrake before will think about one delivering hatchlings in the middle of the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator's garden?"

"Well, I was not thinking of a public announcement, of course, but I really ought to tell your father and the rest of your family - after all, they have a right to know. Also, remember that I had planned to open the Impression to members of the royal family as a sign of freindship between our nations."
He paused, then continued half to himself "I had also planned to make it my gift to Anna and Joseph, but I suppose that wouldn't be a great idea. I mean, what if neither of them is chosen? No, I'll have to think of some other present - and there's less than two days to get it delivered! I'll have to pull a few strings to get it here in time..."

"Of course not, how could I think that... I'm such an idiot..." says Theodora, in reponse to the first thing Tharn said. After listening to everything else he has to say, Theodora playfully grins.

"So Tharn..." she half-says, half-whispers, "Do you have any other gift ideas? I promise I shan't tell Anna!"

"Not really... I've never been great at picking gifts, especially for people I've known for such a short time. I'm sure I can think of something for Joseph, but I'm a little stuck for ideas for Anna's gift. I was thinking jewellery, but there's not much time to get something made - and anyway, I'm not sure that would be appropriate, coming from someone who was (technically) a rival suitor..."
He thinks for a second, then asks "I don't suppose you could give me any advice? I'm sure you have a much better idea what Anna likes than I do..."

"Why, I thought you would never ask!" replies Theodora, her expression full of mischief. "Tomorrow morning, meet me at the tournament field on the palace grounds. We can discuss it further then. I'll help you pick something she'll really love, I promise!"

"That would be wonderful, your highness. My thanks."
Tharn looks around the room, then adds "I suppose I really ought to go and congratulate the other cast members. Besides," he continues with a smile, "I feel guilty for monopolising your time so. I'm sure there are many others who want to you on your performance. And, of course, we wouldn't want to give the "gossip queen of New Rome" anything to talk about, now would we?" he adds with a wink.

((OOC: Have to go now, I'm afraid. It'd probably be a good idea if I actually ate something today - it'd make a change, certainly - and then at 7.30 (an hour and a quarter from now - British time) I'm off out. Will try to come on again sometime tomorrow, though))

"Oh God!" Theodora says, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to see if I can't sneak back to the palace without running into her again... I'll see you tomorrow morning, at the first joust!"

Theodora rushes off to a dressing room to finish changing out of her costume.

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OOC: Pardon me, you're certainly welcome to participate in this thread, but you've not thus far, which makes me wonder why you're bumping it. Are you sure you're bumping the right thread?

Simon glanced at Joseph, idly. "I see no reason why I shouldn't."

Joseph extended a hand to Simon. “I’m glad you will be there. You will still be standing with me as Best Man, won’t you?”

Then, when the opportunity arises, Joseph turns to Anna and whispers quietly in her ear. “Don’t worry, my love, my parents will love you almost as much as I.”

Anna grins, reassuredly.

"I look forward to meeting them tomorrow." says Anna. "Speaking of which... it is very late... we should get a good night's rest. After all, I want to look my best to meet my future father and mother in law!"

Anna kisses Joseph goodnight on the cheek, and leaves.

OOC: Time has now finally progressed from that month-long night (from the start of the Mikado to this post!) HORRAY!

Early the next morning, the Emperor Andreus storms through the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator's guest wing. As he approaches a set of doors, the Varangians open them before he even has to slow down to ask them to do so. Unannounced, he strides right into the apartments of Queen Aethelgyld of Anti - Avril. He walks across the floor of the empty antechamber, and opens the door to Aethelgyld's bedchamber.

The Emperor stops, and looks with disdain at the sleeping Anti - Avrilan beauty. He walks around the bed, before coming to the small bedside table beside the Queen's bed. A half-empty glass of water sits on it. The Emperor picks it up, and drops it on the floor next to the bed.

At the sound of the glass breaking, the Queen sits up in her bed in shock, looking first down to the floor at the broken glass, and then up at the angry Pantocratorian Emperor.

Aethelgyld controls her surprise, and moderates her voice.

"Your Majesty?" she asks calmly, as she pulls up her bedcovers over her shoulders, left bare by her nightgown.

So, she thought to herself. He is going to chastise me. And he wants to do it while I'm most off guard. Well, I will go through with the usual public ceremonies, but I won't give him the satisfaction of budging an inch otherwise...

"Have you no concept of what it means to be a prince?" Andreus snarls. "Your protectorate is going to Hell in a handbasket, primarily due to your damned irresponsible policies! Your children run wild, that is, when they're not swearing at everything which can move, criminals roam free simply because you have no prisons to speak of! And then to top it all off, and most aggregiously, you appoint some new age hippie as your spiritual advisor? What in the name of the Virgin Mary are you thinking?"

Aethelgyld looks at the Emperor in the eye.

"This is my bed chamber. Get out." she replies.

Andreus slaps Aethelgyld.

"This is my bed chamber!" he snaps back. "You just happen to be occupying it! Now, explain yourself!"

The Queen rubs her cheek but keeps her defiant expression.

"I am not one of your daughters, Your Majesty," she says. "I do not buckle in terror whenever you raise your voice, and plead and beg for you to allow me to correct whatever defect caused you anger. My father told me how you deal with your womenfolk, Your Majesty. You will not scare me by bellowing at me, nor will I bend my national policy to your will through intimidation."

We bring gifts of hash. We shall come by aircraft.

The Emperor is taken aback by this sudden assessment of the way in which he deals with his daughters and nieces.

"You are quite obviously not one of my daughters..." he says after some time. "You're far too rude and ill-spoken."

Realising that he isn't going to be able to walk all-over his vassal, the Emperor stands, and straightens his naval uniform.

"Well, Your Highness, at midday, when the guests assemble for luncheon, I will accept your pledge of fealty." says the Emperor in a matter-of-fact tone. "The wedding is tomorrow. I trust Your Highness will attend. In fact, Anna may even be convinced to take you on-board as a bridesmaid... Speaking of weddings, I hear you recently got engaged?"

We bring gifts of hash. We shall come by aircraft.

You won't bring gifts of hash into the Holy Empire of Pantocratoria. Not successfully at least.

Aethelgyld studies the Emperor's expression and demeanour for a few moments before replying.

"I will, of course, pledge my fealty at lunch, and I look forward to the wedding." she replies. "And although I'm not sure how you heard, since I've not announced it, yes, Your Majesty, I am engaged."

"Hmmm." says the Emperor as he turns and leaves. "Fascinating."

(OOC: Emperor David finally gets to arrive! Please fit this into this morning's storyline where ever it best fits!)

A Boeing 777 passenger jet cuts gently through the sky escorted by four F/A-18 fighter jets. As the blue and gold 777 enters Pantocratorian airspace, the fighters peel away and begin heading back towards their refueling plane. The plane, Imperial Blue on top, gleaming gold on the bottom, bears the shield and sword emblem of the Imperial House of Excalbia and has several non-standard elements – enclosed radar dishes, concealed weapons pods and countermeasures – inconspicuously blended into the fuselage. After a short cruise through Pantocratorian airspace, the plane – Excalbia One – slowly descends towards New Rome.

Excalbia One touches down and rolls to a stop. After a stairway is rolled into position, the door of the plane opens. Four Imperial Guards, clad in Imperial Blue uniforms with archaic plumed helmets and broadswords descend the stairway and come to attention.

Emperor David IV, dressed in a gleaming white naval uniform with a blue sash covered with medals draped over his chest, appears in the doorway. He extends his hand and a woman in blue gown with flowing red hair steps to his side. Hand-in-hand Emperor David IV and Empress Elizabeth descend the stairs. Close behind, a young teenage girl in a silver gown and a redheaded boy follow their parents down the stairs. Behind the immediate family, a tall woman in her thirties with blonde hair and a red dress and young, college age man in a dark suit descend the steps accompanied by an aged court official. The woman in red smiles and waves to the onlookers, as the young man tugs at his tie and looks vaguely uncomfortable.

Rev. Jacob Donnelly, Excalbian Ambassador to Pantocratoria, and Prince Joseph meet the Emperor at the bottom of the stairway. Both men bow deeply. Rev. Donnelly, head still bowed, speaks. “Your Imperial Majesties, welcome to the Holy Empire of Pantocratoria.”

Joseph smiles. “Your Imperial Majesties!” He exclaims, then kisses his mother on the cheek and shakes his father’s hand. “It is good to see you again. Come, let me introduce you to my future father-in-law.”

Joseph leads his parents to Emperor Andreus I. He bows to the Emperor, then turns to his parents. “Father, Mother, may I present His Most Catholic and Imperial Majesty, Emperor Andreus I.” He turns back to the Pantocratorian Emperor. “Your Majesty, may I present His Imperial Majesty, Emperor David IV, and Her Imperial Majesty, Empress Elizabeth. My parents.”

David IV bows towards Andreus I. “Your Majesty, I have long desired to meet you in person and visit your realm. I am doubly pleased to visit on such joyous occasion. May the union of our two Imperial lines cement our friendship and our alliance for all time.”

Empress Elizabeth curtseys beside her husband. “Your Majesty.”

David IV turns slightly to indicate the rest of his party. “Your Majesty, may I present our daughter, Princess Rebecca, and our youngest child, Prince James.” Rebecca curtseys as elegantly as her mother and James bows somewhat stiffly. “And this,” David indicates the woman in the tasteful, yet stylish red dress, “is my sister – my unmarried sister,” he adds with a mischievous gleam in his eye, “the Princess Christianna and my nephew,” he gestures to the young man in the suit, “Prince Peter. Peter is the son of my late brother, Prince Paul.” The Emperor’s eye falls on the court official standing unobtrusively behind the princes and princesses. “And last, but not least, I would like to introduce Lord Johannes Corman, my Lord Chamberlain. He has served my family for over 40 years and is the real power behind the throne of Excalbia.”

Lord Corman bows solemnly and gracefully.

“Well,” Emperor David smiles broadly, “when do I meet my future daughter-in-law?”

Emperor Andreus, dressed in a sparkling white naval uniform with a gold Pantocratorian cross across the chest, obscured by dozens of medals, and an imperial purple sash hanging across his torso, steps forward and kisses Emperor David IV on each cheek.

"Your Majesty, I share your sentiments. Long have I desired to meet you, and I am overjoyed that our dynasties shall become intertwined in such a happy union as between Joseph and Anna, whom, you may rest assured, you will meet soon." says Andreus.

"Your Majesty." says the Emperor as he kisses Empress Elizabeth on each cheek as well.

The Emperor politely acknowledges the rest of the Excalbian delegation.

"May I present my eldest, Prince Andreus, Despot of New Constantinople." says the Emperor, indicating to Prince Andreus, who bows deeply.

"My other children, Prince Constantine, Princess Theodora, and Princess Zoë." the Emperor says, indicating to the rest of his children (excepting Anna, who isn't there).

"My brother, Prince Basil, his wife Princess Jacqueline, and their daughters Princess Helen and Princess Marie." the Emperor says, as Prince Basil and his family bows.

"And finally, may I present the Chief of the Domestics, my closest friend, Sir Constantine the Hardy, Knight of the Order of the Pantocrator." says the Emperor. Sir Constantine bows respectfully.

"Princess Anna and members of the Imperial Government are waiting to greet you at the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator." explains the Emperor. "I would be honoured if Your Majesties would join me in the Imperial State Coach."

Flanked by Varangians and standard bearers carrying the standards of Excalbia and Pantocratoria, as well as of the House of Palaeologus-Comnenus-Bourbon, the Imperial State Coach stands behind the imperial delegation. Lined with gold and silver, it is draped in purple silk, with the standards of the two empires fluttering proudly in the breeze, affixed to the carriage. Twelve magnificent white chargers stand as still as a horse could be expected to do so with all this pomp and circumstance, ready to pull the state coach to the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator.

"The others will follow behind us in the other coaches." the Emperor explains. "I had thought that Prince James, Princess Rebecca and Prince Peter could ride with Prince Constantine, Princess Theodora and Princess Zoë, that Prince Joseph and Prince Andreus could ride with Princess Helen and Princess Marie, and that Princess Christianna and Lord Corman could ride with my brother and his wife and Sir Constantine the Hardy."

The other coaches are splendid white, with the standards of the House of Palaeologus-Comnenus-Bourbon and of the Excalbian Imperial dynasty both displayed prominently.

"The palace staff have prepared a state banquet for luncheon at the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator, and people of New Rome are in the streets, eager to catch a glimpse of this historic occassion. After you, Your Majesties." concludes the Emperor, indicating to the Imperial State Coach, whose door is opened by a Varangian, revealing an interior of comfortable looking coaches draped in purple silk and covered in purple pillows.

Simon watched, intrigued. "How... odd. Wonder where I go."

"Inquisitor," says a page to Simon. "Her Highness the Princess Anna would like you to join her with the other honoured guests in the main hall of the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator for luncheon. Please follow me."

The Emperor stands to the other side of the Varangian guard and extends his hand to help the Empress into the coach. The Emperor follows and takes a seat beside his wife. As Emperor Andreus settles into his seat, Emperor David leans over slightly. “Thank you for the gracious welcome, your Majesty. Your hospitality is legendary and I must admit that I am looking forward to the luncheon.”

Empress Elizabeth turns towards Emperor Andreus. “This is a spectacular coach, your Majesty. And your family is quite impressive. Your daughters are lovely. And so at ease during the welcoming ceremony. Rebecca is starting to show the necessary grace and patience, but James.” Elizabeth sighs. “He can be a handful. I just hope he won’t fidget too much at the luncheon and at the wedding.”

“A lovely city,” David says as he watches the scenery pass by. “Joseph didn’t do it justice in his message. But then, I think his attention was elsewhere. Speaking of Joseph, how has he been fitting in at your court?”

In the next carriage back, Prince James is staring at the scenery as he sullenly tugs at his tie. Prince Peter sits quietly, looking vaguely bored. Princess Rebecca looks admiringly at Theodora’s and Zoë’s gowns. “You both look lovely, your Highnesses,” she says finally.

Two more carriages back, Princess Christianna is smiling and waving to people in the crowds watching the procession. She looks back into the carriage. “Your country is beautiful. I’ve intended to visit for some time. I’m very much looking forward to the wedding. Tell me, Prince Basil, Princess Jacqueline, Sir Constantine, how is my nephew fitting in here? He was such a bookworm back home. I was afraid he’d end up a late bloomer, like me.”

"Inquisitor," says a page to Simon. "Her Highness the Princess Anna would like you to join her with the other honoured guests in the main hall of the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator for luncheon. Please follow me."

"Ah, good. Thank you, my good sir." Simon followed.

The crowds (encouraged by Ministry of Cultural Development observers) shout about their admiration and loyalty, cheering and applauding the Imperial Family's guests as the carriages proceed at a comfortable pace down the Champs Demetrie towards the massive Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator. The Varangian Guard marches along the whole length of the progression, but the Imperial State Coach itself is flanked by members of the Excalbian Imperial Guard. Before the whole procession are two riders in Roman uniforms, each carrying a long standard pole topped by a crucifix, beneath which a two-headed eagle clutches the letters "ΒΒΒΒ", standing for "Basileus Basileon Basileuon Basileusin" (King of Kings, Ruling over Kings). The two standards symbolise the fact that there are two Emperors here.

The air is filled the sound of triumphant marching music, as befits an imperial procession of not just one, but two of God's vicegerents on Earth, two Emperors. As the crowd catches a glimpse of the occupants of the carriages here and there, the noise of the cheering surges even louder for a short period, drowning out the music altogether, before dying down to a dull roar as people take the opportunity to snap some photos. Uniformed and plain clothes policemen keep order in the crowd, and barriers stop them from impeding the imperial progress.

As Emperor Andreus settles into his seat, Emperor David leans over slightly. “Thank you for the gracious welcome, your Majesty. Your hospitality is legendary and I must admit that I am looking forward to the luncheon.”

Empress Elizabeth turns towards Emperor Andreus. “This is a spectacular coach, your Majesty. And your family is quite impressive. Your daughters are lovely. And so at ease during the welcoming ceremony. Rebecca is starting to show the necessary grace and patience, but James.” Elizabeth sighs. “He can be a handful. I just hope he won’t fidget too much at the luncheon and at the wedding.”

“A lovely city,” David says as he watches the scenery pass by. “Joseph didn’t do it justice in his message. But then, I think his attention was elsewhere. Speaking of Joseph, how has he been fitting in at your court?”

"My daughters have had the good fortune to inherit their mother's features rather than my own, Your Majesty." replies Andreus. "Your Majesties' son has been a perfect guest. We even managed to convince him to sing the part of Nanki-Poo in The Mikado, in case he didn't mention that. He did a rather good impression of a second trumbone... well... of a prince posing as a second trumbone anyway. It has been a pleasure to have him here in my court."

"Your Majesty may recall that when Prince Joseph first arrived here," Andreus continues, addressing Emperor David specifically now. "That the Reverend Donnelly was asked to convey a request to me, that I try to... how to say... wisen His Highness up about the political realities of a man in his position. I have endeavoured to do so. When I found out just how much he loved to read I set him to task on the writings and biographies and histories of the Emperors of Pantocratoria, and in fact, further back into my line than that, to the Kings of France and the Emperors of Constantinople. It speaks to his intellect and education that he seems to have taken it all in. He's a brilliant young man, one whom I shall be proud to call my son in-law."

In the next carriage back, Prince James is staring at the scenery as he sullenly tugs at his tie. Prince Peter sits quietly, looking vaguely bored. Princess Rebecca looks admiringly at Theodora’s and Zoë’s gowns. “You both look lovely, your Highnesses,” she says finally.

Zoë and Theodora turn to each other briefly, and Zoë struggles to suppress a giggle.

"Thankyou, Your Highness." says Theodora.

"Is there something wrong with Your Highness' tie?" Zoë asks Prince James in a tone which her sister recognises as slightly mocking. Theodora discretely elbows her younger sister in the side.

"Long flight, Your Highness?" Prince Constantine asks the quiet Peter.

Two more carriages back, Princess Christianna is smiling and waving to people in the crowds watching the procession. She looks back into the carriage. “Your country is beautiful. I’ve intended to visit for some time. I’m very much looking forward to the wedding. Tell me, Prince Basil, Princess Jacqueline, Sir Constantine, how is my nephew fitting in here? He was such a bookworm back home. I was afraid he’d end up a late bloomer, like me.”

"A fine, upstanding gentleman, Your Highness." says Sir Constantine reassuringly.

"Believe me when I say that he couldn't get away with it if he hadn't been a perfect gentlemen, the way Sir Constantine here watches over the Emperor's children..." adds Princess Jacqueline.

"Well, Prince Joseph hasn't caused me any concern." Sir Constantine says.

Prince Basil fidgets nervously, his mind elsewhere. It was Friday. The election was on Sunday, and he was behind in the polls.

"Don't you think Prince Joseph is a fine young gentleman, Basil?" Princess Jacqueline asks, leaning over to her husband and speaking very loudly.

"Hmm, oh yes, a marvellous young gentleman. Your Highness must be very proud of your nephew." says Prince Basil. "I've had the pleasure of speaking to him on several occassions, and have found him to be most astute. And I thought he did a marvellous job last night. And somebody told me he was a timid lad... standing in front of all those people... in those ridiculous tights..."

"I think His Highness means that Prince Joseph has become part of the family, so to speak." Princess Jacqueline finishes Basil's thoughts for him, smiling at Christianna, but looking slightly annoyed by her husband.

Earlier that morning...

Princess Theodora waited for Prince Tharn of Wyrmberg in the near-empty stands at the tournament field. A squire and a horse trainer sat some way away in the front row, watching their knight trot about the field on his charger, giving his steed some early morning exercise. Asides from them, the stand was deserted, and Theodora was alone.

"My daughters have had the good fortune to inherit their mother's features rather than my own, Your Majesty." replies Andreus. "Your Majesties' son has been a perfect guest. We even managed to convince him to sing the part of Nanki-Poo in The Mikado, in case he didn't mention that. He did a rather good impression of a second trumbone... well... of a prince posing as a second trumbone anyway. It has been a pleasure to have him here in my court."

"Your Majesty may recall that when Prince Joseph first arrived here," Andreus continues, addressing Emperor David specifically now. "That the Reverend Donnelly was asked to convey a request to me, that I try to... how to say... wisen His Highness up about the political realities of a man in his position. I have endeavoured to do so. When I found out just how much he loved to read I set him to task on the writings and biographies and histories of the Emperors of Pantocratoria, and in fact, further back into my line than that, to the Kings of France and the Emperors of Constantinople. It speaks to his intellect and education that he seems to have taken it all in. He's a brilliant young man, one whom I shall be proud to call my son in-law."

“Thank you for your kind words, your Majesty, and for helping in my son’s education.” Emperor David trades a quick, knowing glance with Empress Elizabeth. “Joseph has always been a bright young man, but he has had a tendency to be quiet and overly introspective.” Emperor David chuckles. “In fact, if we were Catholic, I would have feared that Joseph would have turned to the asceticism of a monastic order. I am pleased that you, and your daughter have succeeded in drawing him out.”

The Emperor shifts slightly in his seat and unconsciously lowers his voice. “Your Majesty, how do you consider Joseph’s political skills? While the Sword does not wield as much direct power in Excalbia as your Majesty might here in Pantocratoria, we do hold a fair measure of political power and it is important that the Emperor be a strong and capable figure – able to shape the political landscape rather than be shaped by it. That is the kind of ruler I want Joseph to me some day.”

Zoë and Theodora turn to each other briefly, and Zoë struggles to suppress a giggle.

"Thankyou, Your Highness." says Theodora.

"Is there something wrong with Your Highness' tie?" Zoë asks Prince James in a tone which her sister recognises as slightly mocking. Theodora discretely elbows her younger sister in the side.

"Long flight, Your Highness?" Prince Constantine asks the quiet Peter.

Princess Rebecca smiles at Theodora and Zoë. “I love the romance of this, your Highnesses! The gowns! Coaches! Processions! Jousting! Back home, everything is so… ordinary. School uniforms, riding in a boring old limousine. I think I would prefer to live in your court.”

Prince James looks at Zoë. “I can’t stand to wear ties. I’ve never understood how girls stand all that formal, frilly stuff. So, what do you do for fun around here?”

Prince Peter turns to Prince Constantine and smiles. “Yes, your Highness. Very long. Unfortunately, I’ve never been able to sleep on airplanes.” Suddenly, Peter is “on;” he smiles, charms and makes small talk – about the weather, Pantocratoria’s leading crops – whatever comes to mind.

"A fine, upstanding gentleman, Your Highness." says Sir Constantine reassuringly.

"Believe me when I say that he couldn't get away with it if he hadn't been a perfect gentlemen, the way Sir Constantine here watches over the Emperor's children..." adds Princess Jacqueline.

"Well, Prince Joseph hasn't caused me any concern." Sir Constantine says.

Prince Basil fidgets nervously, his mind elsewhere. It was Friday. The election was on Sunday, and he was behind in the polls.

"Don't you think Prince Joseph is a fine young gentleman, Basil?" Princess Jacqueline asks, leaning over to her husband and speaking very loudly.

"Hmm, oh yes, a marvellous young gentleman. Your Highness must be very proud of your nephew." says Prince Basil. "I've had the pleasure of speaking to him on several occassions, and have found him to be most astute. And I thought he did a marvellous job last night. And somebody told me he was a timid lad... standing in front of all those people... in those ridiculous tights..."

"I think His Highness means that Prince Joseph has become part of the family, so to speak." Princess Jacqueline finishes Basil's thoughts for him, smiling at Christianna, but looking slightly annoyed by her husband.

Christianna demurely hides a chuckle. “I’m glad to hear that Joseph has made a good impression here.” Then, after pausing a beat, the Princess addresses Prince Basil. “You seem troubled, your Highness? Is it the election, if is not too bold of me to ask.”

The procession enters the old quarter of New Rome, dominated by such imposing buildings as the Cathedral of Christ Pantocrator, the Imperial Parliament, and the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator itself.

“Thank you for your kind words, your Majesty, and for helping in my son’s education.” Emperor David trades a quick, knowing glance with Empress Elizabeth. “Joseph has always been a bright young man, but he has had a tendency to be quiet and overly introspective.” Emperor David chuckles. “In fact, if we were Catholic, I would have feared that Joseph would have turned to the asceticism of a monastic order. I am pleased that you, and your daughter have succeeded in drawing him out.”

The Emperor shifts slightly in his seat and unconsciously lowers his voice. “Your Majesty, how do you consider Joseph’s political skills? While the Sword does not wield as much direct power in Excalbia as your Majesty might here in Pantocratoria, we do hold a fair measure of political power and it is important that the Emperor be a strong and capable figure – able to shape the political landscape rather than be shaped by it. That is the kind of ruler I want Joseph to me some day.”

"I'm afraid I'm unable to answer that question, Your Majesty." replies Andreus. "His Highness hasn't had the opportunity to... get his political hands dirty, so to speak, at least not here in Pantocratoria. I should imagine that such a talented young Prince, with such a propensity to learn and understand anything, would grow into the role of a ruler without too much difficulty. I had thought to give him the same opportunity my eldest has had to refine those abilities, or a similar one at least. But I suppose he has duties to tend to in Excalbia..."

Princess Rebecca smiles at Theodora and Zoë. “I love the romance of this, your Highnesses! The gowns! Coaches! Processions! Jousting! Back home, everything is so… ordinary. School uniforms, riding in a boring old limousine. I think I would prefer to live in your court.”

Princess Theodora forces a weak smile, the wind seemingly taken out of her sails by the comment.

"Be careful what you wish for, Your Highness..." she says quietly. "I mean, erm... it isn't all it... well..."

"I think my sister is trying to say that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, Your Highness. I'm sure that we'd find Excalbia quite remarkable." jumps in Prince Constantine, to Theodora's relief.

Prince James looks at Zoë. “I can’t stand to wear ties. I’ve never understood how girls stand all that formal, frilly stuff. So, what do you do for fun around here?”

Zoë opens her mouth to reply, and then stops, and frowns as she tries to think.

"Erm... well... we did a musical last night." she replies. "So I guess that means we have an opera house... umm... well, you can see what we do for yourself when we get to the palace."

Zoë smiles for a few seconds.

"Your Highness!" she quickly adds, nearly having forgotten.

Prince Peter turns to Prince Constantine and smiles. “Yes, your Highness. Very long. Unfortunately, I’ve never been able to sleep on airplanes.” Suddenly, Peter is “on;” he smiles, charms and makes small talk – about the weather, Pantocratoria’s leading crops – whatever comes to mind.

Prince Constantine struggles to keep up with Peter's smalltalk, but enjoys doing so.

Christianna demurely hides a chuckle. “I’m glad to hear that Joseph has made a good impression here.” Then, after pausing a beat, the Princess addresses Prince Basil. “You seem troubled, your Highness? Is it the election, if is not too bold of me to ask.”

"Yes, it is I'm afraid." replies Prince Basil. "My anticipation and anxiety is obviously quite palpable, much to my embarrassment. The election is on Sunday, the day after the wedding and... well, I am a little tense and distracted, Your Highness."

Earlier that morning...

Princess Theodora waited for Prince Tharn of Wyrmberg in the near-empty stands at the tournament field. A squire and a horse trainer sat some way away in the front row, watching their knight trot about the field on his charger, giving his steed some early morning exercise. Asides from them, the stand was deserted, and Theodora was alone.

Tharn arrived at the tournament field. He was slightly late, and so anyone watching would have noticed that he walked rather faster than usual.

Spotting Theodora in the stands, he made his way up to the stands and the seat next to her.

"Good morning, your Highness" he greeted her as he sat down. "A beautiful morning, is it not?"

The procession enters the old quarter of New Rome, dominated by such imposing buildings as the Cathedral of Christ Pantocrator, the Imperial Parliament, and the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator itself.

"I'm afraid I'm unable to answer that question, Your Majesty." replies Andreus. "His Highness hasn't had the opportunity to... get his political hands dirty, so to speak, at least not here in Pantocratoria. I should imagine that such a talented young Prince, with such a propensity to learn and understand anything, would grow into the role of a ruler without too much difficulty. I had thought to give him the same opportunity my eldest has had to refine those abilities, or a similar one at least. But I suppose he has duties to tend to in Excalbia..."

“Actually, your Majesty, his duties will be shaped by the gift I plan to present to your daughter.” Emperor David glances at his wife and gives her a mischievous wink. “Should I let our host in on the surprise, my Love,” the Emperor says in an aside to the Empress. Empress Elizabeth nods and the Emperor turns back to Emperor Andreus.
“Your Majesty, I have read very carefully Rev. Donnelly’s reports as my Ambassador to your court and I have been given to understand that Princess Anna has a great interest in politics. So,” Emperor David takes a dramatic pause and smiles, “I plan to give her a country of her own to rule. Together with Joseph, of course, but I fully expect it will be much her kingdom than his. Do you think she’ll like it, your Majesty?”


Princess Theodora forces a weak smile, the wind seemingly taken out of her sails by the comment.

"Be careful what you wish for, Your Highness..." she says quietly. "I mean, erm... it isn't all it... well..."

"I think my sister is trying to say that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, Your Highness. I'm sure that we'd find Excalbia quite remarkable." jumps in Prince Constantine, to Theodora's relief.

Princess Rebecca blushes as she sees the discomfort on Theodora’s face. “Oh, your Highness! I’m… I mean… urm… I hope I didn’t say anything wrong. I just meant… um… that your country is fascinating and so interesting.” She pauses for a beat as Constantine’s words sink in. “Oh, maybe your father would let you visit Excalbia sometime. To see your sister. I could show what life is like in our country… my school… our church… the summer palace… and… um…” Rebecca finally falls silent and just smiles.

Zoë opens her mouth to reply, and then stops, and frowns as she tries to think.

"Erm... well... we did a musical last night." she replies. "So I guess that means we have an opera house... umm... well, you can see what we do for yourself when we get to the palace."

Zoë smiles for a few seconds.

"Your Highness!" she quickly adds, nearly having forgotten.

“I have a really cool VR-X game system plugged into our DAIN, it’s just like being down on the field when I play Madden or FIFA… but my Dad – the Emperor – will only let me play one hour a day. Hmm, my parents like the opera. I usually fall asleep.” James stares for a second. “Oh, your Highness.”

Prince Constantine struggles to keep up with Peter's smalltalk, but enjoys doing so.

Prince Peter seems to be enjoying his conversation with Prince Constantine, oblivious to what is going on around him, until he spots the palace. “Oh, it looks like we’re arriving at your palace, your Highness.”

"Yes, it is I'm afraid." replies Prince Basil. "My anticipation and anxiety is obviously quite palpable, much to my embarrassment. The election is on Sunday, the day after the wedding and... well, I am a little tense and distracted, Your Highness."

“Well, your Highness, I can certainly understand your concern. I’m sorry that we’re adding to it by taking you away from electoral preparations.” Princess Chrsitianna turns on her high-watt smile that famous throughout Excalbia. “I certainly hope that you win, your Highness. I think the Pantocratorian people were well served by your government and would be best served if you returned to power. If you don’t mind my saying so.”

The outer gates of the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator are opened and the Varangian Guard stop the crowds from following the procession into the palace grounds.

"A country?" asks the Emperor Andreus, incredulously. "My God... I have every confidence in my daughter, Your Majesties, and every confidence in your son as well, but... well... I pray that they're ready for it! We can of course provide them with our best people, and give them every chance to succeed... and I think, yes, if we do that.... then yes, I should imagine she'll... like it."

As Andreus wonders how his Excalbian counterpart has countries seemingly just lying around to dispense as gifts, the Imperial State Coach comes to a stop in front of the ornate inner gates to the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator.

As Princess Theodora and Princess Rebecca sit in awkward silence while Zoë furrows her brow in a vain attempt to comprehend just what it is that Prince James is on about, Prince Constantine and Prince Peter watch as the inner gates swing open.

In the back carriage, Prince Basil is quite taken aback by Princess Christianna's endorsement of him.

"Why, thankyou, Your Highness, and may I say, I am most pleasantly surprised, as well as gratified, that you expressed that opinion. I had rather expected everyone to sit on the proverbial fence throughout these proceedings." says Prince Basil, genuinely surprised.

The imperial progress continues into the inner courtyard of the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator, where a troop of Varangians stands in dress uniforms, ready for review, and where purple carpet extends from the main entrance of the palace itself to what is obviously intended as the final stopping place. Standing at a right angle to the Varangians are the people of the court, and Princess Anna herself, who stands in the centre of the carpet, visibly trying to calm herself. To her right is Princess Irene, and to her right, members of the Imperial Cabinet. To her left are First Admiral Lord Phocas and several generals. Also in the group are Simon Darquis of Roania, Jacques Cardinal Conomos, Father Michél Guillot, the Exarch of New Jerusalem, Queen Athelgyld of Anti - Avril, and other prominent members of the court.

The Imperial State Coach comes to a gentle stop. Anna swallows nervously.

"Calm yourself, girl." orders Irene, without looking at her niece, not wanting to betray how nervous Anna really is. "You've nothing to worry about."

Anna suddenly collects herself. Servants open the doors of the Imperial State Coach. The Emperor Andreus steps out first, and offers to help the Empress out.

"You're about to meet your future daughter in law, Majesties." he says, looking back to his daughter with pride.

Tharn arrived at the tournament field. He was slightly late, and so anyone watching would have noticed that he walked rather faster than usual.

Spotting Theodora in the stands, he made his way up to the stands and the seat next to her.

"Good morning, your Highness" he greeted her as he sat down. "A beautiful morning, is it not?"

"I'd say it has been and continues to be a beautiful morning, Your Highness." Theodora says. "I'm so happy you came. So, I hear you need help picking a wedding present for my sister."

She smiles.

The outer gates of the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator are opened and the Varangian Guard stop the crowds from following the procession into the palace grounds.

In the back carriage, Prince Basil is quite taken aback by Princess Christianna's endorsement of him.

"Why, thankyou, Your Highness, and may I say, I am most pleasantly surprised, as well as gratified, that you expressed that opinion. I had rather expected everyone to sit on the proverbial fence throughout these proceedings." says Prince Basil, genuinely surprised.

Princess Christianna chuckles lightly. “Your Highness, no one in Excalbia has ever accused me of being a fence sitter or being politically correct. That’s probably why I am still single at my age and am so soundly avoided by all our major political parties.”

The imperial progress continues into the inner courtyard of the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator, where a troop of Varangians stands in dress uniforms, ready for review, and where purple carpet extends from the main entrance of the palace itself to what is obviously intended as the final stopping place. Standing at a right angle to the Varangians are the people of the court, and Princess Anna herself, who stands in the centre of the carpet, visibly trying to calm herself. To her right is Princess Irene, and to her right, members of the Imperial Cabinet. To her left are First Admiral Lord Phocas and several generals. Also in the group are Simon Darquis of Roania, Jacques Cardinal Conomos, Father Michél Guillot, the Exarch of New Jerusalem, Queen Athelgyld of Anti - Avril, and other prominent members of the court.

The Imperial State Coach comes to a gentle stop. Anna swallows nervously.

"Calm yourself, girl." orders Irene, without looking at her niece, not wanting to betray how nervous Anna really is. "You've nothing to worry about."

Anna suddenly collects herself. Servants open the doors of the Imperial State Coach. The Emperor Andreus steps out first, and offers to help the Empress out.

"You're about to meet your future daughter in law, Majesties." he says, looking back to his daughter with pride.

Emperor David rises to his feet and extends his hand to his wife. Empress Elizabeth takes David’s hand and steps down out of the coach. As she takes her place on the carpet, the sun glistens off her blue gown and adds a fiery glow to her red hair. She sees Anna trying to hide her nervousness and smiles reassuringly.

Emperor David follows his wife out of the coach, his left hand clutching the scabbard of his ceremonial sword to keep it steady. With a nod to Emperor Andreus, David releases the scabbard and takes his wife’s hand and walks toward Anna, stopping just a few steps away. As he waits for Emperor Andreus to make the introductions, he leans over to Empress Elizabeth. “The Princess is a lovely young woman, isn’t she?” he whispers to wife. As they stand, the sun catches the blue sash across the Emperor’s chest. Among a host of medals, there is a prominent badge of a ship with crossed swords and another of wings over a sword, indicating that the Emperor has performed actual sea duty and is a trained combat pilot.

He looks briefly into the faces of all the assembled dignitaries, then lets his gaze rest on Anna and gives her a fatherly smile.

The sound of 21 cannons in the outer courtyard of the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator firing can be heard as the Excalbian Emperor and Empress exit the Imperial State Coach. Once its passengers have disembarked, the coach quickly moves away, and the next coach moves forward.

"Your Imperial Majesties," says the Emperor Andreus. "May I present my daughter, Her Imperial Highness the Princess Anna."

Anna curtsies respectfully.

"Your Imperial Majesties." she says with well-rehearsed deference.

The Emperor then gestures to Prince Andreus, who was standing behind Anna, but now steps forward.

"Your Imperial Majesties," the Emperor says. "May I present His Imperial Highness the Most Pious Prince Andreus, Despot of New Constantinople."

The younger Andreus bows respectfully to the Excalbians.

"With Your Majesty's permission," says Prince Andreus, turning to the Pantocratorian Emperor. "I will inspect the troops."

The Emperor nods.

"Your Majesties." says Prince Andreus, nodding respectfully once again to the Excalbians, before walking to the troop of Varangians awaiting inspection.

"I am so very happy to meet Your Majesties at last." says Anna with a warm smile.

As the initial introductions take place, the other carriages move up to the carpet and stop, and the other passengers begin to dismount, attended to by palace servants.

“And we are happy to meet you, your Highness,” Empress Elizabeth smiles broadly. “Joseph has written us much about you and it is a pleasure to finally meet you in person.”

“Yes, indeed it is,” Emperor David delivers a gentlemanly bow, “and we are looking forward to welcoming you into our family. Ah,” the Emperor turns as he hears the rest of the official entourage approach, “and speaking of family, here are the rest of your future relatives. My eldest son, Prince Joseph, I believe you already know.” The Emperor smiles as Joseph joins his parents and trades a playful glance with his bride-to-be. “And my daughter, Princess Rebecca,” the young princess curtseys, “ and my younger son, Prince James,” James does his best impression of a bow. “Here is my nephew, Prince Peter,” Peter bows with a flourish, “and his aunt, my sister, Princess Christianna.” Christianna smiles and nods. She starts to speak, but Emperor David quiets her with a glance.

“I think there is much we have to say, but I understand from His Most Catholic Majesty, that a luncheon awaits. Perhaps it is best we get to know each other over the meal. Your Majesty?” The Excalbian Emperor turns to his host.

I'd say it has been and continues to be a beautiful morning, Your Highness." Theodora says. "I'm so happy you came. So, I hear you need help picking a wedding present for my sister."

She smiles.

"Yes, I must admit I'm a little stumped," relied Tharn, looking a little embarrased. "I'm really not sure what would be considered an appropriate gift from one who is - technically - a rejected suitor... Also, I'm have no idea how big or small a gift the other guests are likely to bring, and I'd hate for mine to seem either a miser or a show-off."

A thought struck him. "She doesn't have a gift list or anything like that, I take it?" he asked.

“And we are happy to meet you, your Highness,” Empress Elizabeth smiles broadly. “Joseph has written us much about you and it is a pleasure to finally meet you in person.”

“Yes, indeed it is,” Emperor David delivers a gentlemanly bow, “and we are looking forward to welcoming you into our family. Ah,” the Emperor turns as he hears the rest of the official entourage approach, “and speaking of family, here are the rest of your future relatives. My eldest son, Prince Joseph, I believe you already know.” The Emperor smiles as Joseph joins his parents and trades a playful glance with his bride-to-be. “And my daughter, Princess Rebecca,” the young princess curtseys, “ and my younger son, Prince James,” James does his best impression of a bow. “Here is my nephew, Prince Peter,” Peter bows with a flourish, “and his aunt, my sister, Princess Christianna.” Christianna smiles and nods. She starts to speak, but Emperor David quiets her with a glance.

“I think there is much we have to say, but I understand from His Most Catholic Majesty, that a luncheon awaits. Perhaps it is best we get to know each other over the meal. Your Majesty?” The Excalbian Emperor turns to his host.

The Emperor nods, and turns to Prince Andreus, who has just finished inspecting the troops. The younger Andreus nods, and joins the delegation as it enters the palace of the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator. The massive first chamber is where guests, visitors, and petitioners usually go through security checks and are processed by the palace officials before being admitted into the great hall and into the Emperor's presence, but the usual bureaucrats, tables, and security gates have been removed from the marble room.

This "waiting room" has a gently-domed ceiling, decorated with a Byzantine-style icon of Christ as Pantocrator, looking down on the delegation with haunting eyes. The stylistic clashes for which the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator is so well known start immediately beneath the dome, the oldest part of the palace (since this waiting room over which the icon watches was the original great hall), as huge marble pillars stand in the corners of the room (the pillars serve no structural purpose, being added in the 17th century). On the wall to the delegation's left is a huge painting labelled "Le Martyre de Constantine XI", depicting the final moments of the battle between the defenders of Constantinople and the Ottoman Turks. Into each of the tiles on the floor are carved the initials "L & T", interwoven to form one letter with a T's top and an L's bottom, commemorating the 1810 marriage of Louis XVII, titular King of France, and the Empress Theodora II Comnenus. At the end of the room are two massive bronze doors, with three Varangians standing in front of each door. Flanking the doorway are two marble statues, each dressed in imperial gowns of ancient Rome. One is the Roman Emperor Augustus, and the other is the Pantocratorian Emperor Constantine XIX Comnenus (in the middle of whose reign in the early 17th century the statues were installed, along with the pillars).

Anna finds her way to Joseph's side and grasps her fiancé's hand as the two families and the court proceed through the chamber. She resists the urge to point out every little detail and explain it, and limits herself to making polite smalltalk with her future parents-in-law.

The six Varangians pull the huge doors open as the imperial delegation approaches. The procession comes to a stop as the heralds proclaim the arrival of each member of court, from least important to most important, before coming to the members of the two imperial families. In each case, whenever the heralds come to a pair of equally ranked people, the Pantocratorian is introduced before the Excalbian as a sign of respect. Princess Anna is introduced just before Princess Rebecca, then Prince Constantine, after whom Prince James is introduced. Prince Andreus is introduced before Prince Joseph, after whom the Emperor Andreus is introduced. Finally, the Emperor and Empress of Excalbia are announced by the herald, and take their place next to Andreus at the head of the head table in the cavernous great hall (OOC: which has been adequately described in previous threads).

Also at that same table are Prince Joseph and Princess Anna, Prince Andreus, Queen Aethelgyth of Anti - Avril, Princess Irene, and Princess Christianna. At the nearest tables are Princess Rebecca, Princess Theodora, Prince James, Princess Zoë, Prince Tharn of Wyrmberg, Princess Marie, Prince Peter, and Princess Helen on one table, Inquisitor Simon Darquis, Reverend Donnelly, Prince Constantine, Prince Basil, Princess Jacqueline, the Exarch of New Jerusalem, Jacques Cardinal Conomos, and Sir Constantine the Hardy on the other. The other guests are scattered about on the other tables, with those who were introduced the earliest seated the furtherest away from the Emperors.

The Emperor Andreus stands at his seat to speak, and everyone falls quiet.

"We have two happy duties on this glorious day. The greatest of these two, no doubt, is to welcome His Imperial Majesty the Emperor David and Her Imperial Majesty the Empress Elizabeth to the Holy Empire of Pantocratoria, to the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator, and, most happily, into our family. For two such esteemed dynasties so alike in vicegerental dignity to be joined in so..." the Emperor looks to his daughter and to Prince Joseph. "...blissful and loving a fashion fills us with more joy than we could ever express. Were this a paper match of convenience between our two houses, it would be cause for celebration enough, but the fact that it is a love match which has brought our Excalbian brother and sister to our table has brough us more satisifaction than I deserve. So, Your Highnesses, Your Eminence, Your Excellencies, Your Graces, Your Lordships, mesdames et messieurs, please join me in raising your glasses to Their Imperial Majesties the Emperor and Empress of Excalbia!"

The whole hall raises their glasses.

"The second of our duties is also a happy one. The barbari of Anti - Avril have crowned a new sovereign, Queen Aethelgyth. It is our privilege this day to receive Queen Aethelgyth's homage, and to bestow upon her reign our Imperial blessing." says the Emperor.

The Emperor walks in front of the table, and Aethelgyth follows suit. Cardinal Conomos stands, and approaches the two sovereigns, stopping on his way to accept a large, gold-leafed, red leather-covered Bible from Father Guillot, which he then carries the rest of the way with him.

Aethelgyth, wearing a ceremonial bearskin cloak, and the relatively plain but very old crown of all the cynings and cwenes of Anti - Avril gone before her, kneels before the Emperor, and holds out her right hand. The Cardinal holds out the Bible, upon which she then places her hand.

"Our title in Greek means King of Kings, Ruling over Kings." says the Emperor Andreus to the whole hall. "The cynings of Anti - Avril have always been ruled over by the Emperors of Pantocratoria, and we have selected this joyous event to extend the same protection enjoyed by her predecessors to the new cwene of Anti - Avril, Aethelgyth."

Prince Andreus sat watching with the Excalbians. His father always said that "Demonstrating power and princely authority is at least as important as actually using it." The elder Andreus takes up his scepter and orb, and stands ready to receive Aethelgyth's fealty.

A herald steps beside the Emperor Andreus, and unrolls a parchment. He proceeds to read to Queen Aethelgyth.

"Repeat after me." he says. "I Aethelgyth, Cwene of Anti - Avril, make known to all men present and to come that I have agreed and sworn to my liege lord Andreus Capet, Emperor of Pantocratoria, exiled Emperor of the Romans and rightful King of France, to give him aid, openly and in good faith, all the days of my life, against all mortal men; and moreover I will never withold or withdraw such aid from him as long as he shall be ready to do right to me in his court and to let me be judged by those who ought to be my judges in his court."

The Emperor looks down at the kneeling young Queen, awaiting her reply.

Aethelgyth remains calm despite all the eyes of the court being on her. She glances at Prince Andreus who seems to be watching with some fascination, before looking up at the Emperor.

"I, Aethelgyth, Cwene of Anti - Avril, make known to all men present and to come that I have agreed and sworn to my liege lord Andreus Capet, Emperor of Pantocratoria, exiled Emperor of the Romans and rightful King of France, to give him aid, openly and in good faith, all the days of my life, against all mortal men; and moreover I will never withold or withdraw such aid from him as long as he shall be ready to do right to me in his court and to let me be judged by those who ought to be my judges in his court." she repeats, her hand on the Bible held out by the cardinal.

Aethelgyth stands and withdraws her hand from the Bible.

"Shall we return to our seats, Your Majesty?" she asks the Emperor, a proud and independent look on her face despite the oath of fealty and supplication.

Emperor David IV watches the ceremony with fascination. He leans over to Empress Elizabeth and whispers, "I wish I could make some of our neighbors come to the Citadel and perform this ceremony." Elizabeth smiles and leans over to her husband. She whispers, "You say that my love, but I can't quite see you lording over the President of the Confederation or General Atlman this way."

"Absolutely, Your Highness." replies the Emperor to his freshly-affirmed vassal. The Emperor takes his seat, and gestures towards the empty chair next to Prince Andreus, indicating that he wants Queen Aethelgyth to sit in it. Cardinal Conomos moves towards his seat again, but stops in front of the two Emperors. He turns and bows.

"Pardon me, Your Majesties, but I thought I should ask now before sitting back at my table, so that Your Majesties needn't shout." says the Cardinal. "I was wondering what language Your Majesties would like the liturgy to be in tomorrow."

"His Eminence will be the celebrant." explains the Emperor Andreus.

"I could marry Their Highnesses in French, English, Latin, or even old Greek." the Cardinal says.

"I'll defer to the parents of the groom." says the Emperor, leaning to one side to more easily look at the Emperor David and the Empress Elizabeth.

OOC

This is the longest wedding RP, ever! :D

OOC: Yes well... it does have a full production of the Mikado in there! By the way, you are most certainly welcome to have a character sitting at one of the tables in the great hall!

Oh, and the wedding thread is nothing... go look up the courtship one!

OOC: yup - have to say that was the longest thread I've ever been in. Well, that I actively took part in, anyway...

P.S. are we going wait till after the ceremony to continue Tharn and Theodora's earlier conversation (yay for flashbacks! :lol: ), or are we going to keep flashing backwards and forwards between the two?

"Pardon me, Your Majesties, but I thought I should ask now before sitting back at my table, so that Your Majesties needn't shout." says the Cardinal. "I was wondering what language Your Majesties would like the liturgy to be in tomorrow."

"His Eminence will be the celebrant." explains the Emperor Andreus.

"I could marry Their Highnesses in French, English, Latin, or even old Greek." the Cardinal says.

"I'll defer to the parents of the groom." says the Emperor, leaning to one side to more easily look at the Emperor David and the Empress Elizabeth.

"Well," the Emperor David glances at his wife, "although the Empress has tried to teach me French, I am afraid that I am less than proficient. Apart from a bit of old Norse and a smattering of German and Spanish I fear that I am personally confined to English. So, if you have no objection, your Majesty," the Emperor nods slightly to Emperor Andreus, "I would be grateful if the liturgy could be conducted in English."

OOC: yup - have to say that was the longest thread I've ever been in. Well, that I actively took part in, anyway...

P.S. are we going wait till after the ceremony to continue Tharn and Theodora's earlier conversation (yay for flashbacks! :lol: ), or are we going to keep flashing backwards and forwards between the two?

OOC: Arrrrgh! I have rather neglected that strand haven't I... I think flashing back and forward between the two is probably best, that way you can remain more involved, whereas you probably wouldn't have as much to do in "the present" so to speak. :)

"Well," the Emperor David glances at his wife, "although the Empress has tried to teach me French, I am afraid that I am less than proficient. Apart from a bit of old Norse and a smattering of German and Spanish I fear that I am personally confined to English. So, if you have no objection, your Majesty," the Emperor nods slightly to Emperor Andreus, "I would be grateful if the liturgy could be conducted in English."

"Absolutely none." replies the Emperor Andreus. He glances at Anna. "You don't mind, Anna?"

"No, not at all, I'd much rather everyone know what was going on!" says Anna.

"Well, Your Eminence, English will do nicely." concludes the elder Andreus.

Cardinal Conomos bows and returns to his seat as the first course is brought around.

Queen Aethelgyth sits down in the indicated chair next to Prince Andreus.

"Your Highness," she says politely.

Aethelgyth loosens her heavy bearskin cloak so that she is a little more comfortable, and watches the palace's Varangian guardsmen stand watch and perform their duties.

Queen Aethelgyth sits down in the indicated chair next to Prince Andreus.

"Your Highness," she says politely.

Aethelgyth loosens her heavy bearskin cloak so that she is a little more comfortable, and watches the palace's Varangian guardsmen stand watch and perform their duties.

Prince Andreus smiles and nods back.

"Your Highness," he replies. "You were very dignified."

"Yes, I must admit I'm a little stumped," relied Tharn, looking a little embarrased. "I'm really not sure what would be considered an appropriate gift from one who is - technically - a rejected suitor... Also, I'm have no idea how big or small a gift the other guests are likely to bring, and I'd hate for mine to seem either a miser or a show-off."

A thought struck him. "She doesn't have a gift list or anything like that, I take it?" he asked.

"No, unfortunately she doesn't." says Theodora, a small grin at the thought. "To be honest, I have no idea of what would be an appropriate gift either. I can't think of anything which could possibly as good as what you were thinking of giving her! But I would so love to help you pick something."

Theodora pauses for a moment.

"It has to come from you, the idea that is. I can help you refine the idea a little." Theodora suggests. "So, what sort of thing, talking vaguely, would you like to get Anna?"

Theodora looks at Tharn for a few moments.

"Oh, and Joseph!" she adds on, suppressing a laugh.

Queen Aethelgyth sits down in the indicated chair next to Prince Andreus.

"Your Highness," she says politely.

Aethelgyth loosens her heavy bearskin cloak so that she is a little more comfortable, and watches the palace's Varangian guardsmen stand watch and perform their duties.

Prince Andreus smiles and nods back.

"Your Highness," he replies. "You were very dignified."

Aethelgyth arches an eyebrow and looks a little annoyed.

"Your Highness was expecting, perhaps, for me to be undignified?" she asks.

She rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her champagne.

Emperor David leaned over to Empress Elizabeth. "When should I present the gift, my love?

Elizabeth smiled. "I'm not entirely sure they're finished with the ceremonies, David," the Empress whispers, "give them a chance. There'll be time."

"No, unfortunately she doesn't." says Theodora, a small grin at the thought. "To be honest, I have no idea of what would be an appropriate gift either. I can't think of anything which could possibly as good as what you were thinking of giving her! But I would so love to help you pick something."

Theodora pauses for a moment.

"It has to come from you, the idea that is. I can help you refine the idea a little." Theodora suggests. "So, what sort of thing, talking vaguely, would you like to get Anna?"

Theodora looks at Tharn for a few moments.

"Oh, and Joseph!" she adds on, suppressing a laugh.

"Well, for Joseph I thought perhapse an ornate sword - you know, the kind you wear with dress uniform at ceremonial military functions." He pauses, then adds "You know, I wish I'd payed a little more attention at that first reception - I know he's in the military, but I can't remember his rank, so I don't know what kind of ceremonial functions he's likely to be involved in. Shards, I can't even remember whether he's in the Army or the Navy!"

"For Anna I had thought some sort of jewelry, but then I thought that maybe that wouldn't be appropriate from an ex-suitor. I was hoping she might have some interest I could use as a basis for my gift - like horseriding, for instance"

Theodora pauses for a moment to think.

"I know Joseph's in the army...." she says, thinking. "He's a lieutenant... no... yes, a second lieutenant. I don't know why he didn't pick a higher rank, but he strikes me as the sort who likes to do things himself, you know, do things the right way? I think a sword sounds like a splendid idea."

"I saw him in his dress uniform when he and Anna first met. He doesn't have nearly enough flashy shiny things on it for a prince!" she jests, before continuing in a considered tone. "A nice ornate sword would make him look very dignified indeed."

"As for my sister's pass-times..." says Theodora. "She's a poor horse rider. But she loves chess."

Theodora waits for the seed of her suggestion to grow into a gift idea, looking quite happy to be there.

Each course of the sumptuous banquet is better than the last. After the third course, a page hands a small letter to the Emperor Andreus, who reads it quickly, and hands it back.

"Your Majesties," he says to the Emperor and Empress. "I've just received word that there has been a terrorist attack a few streets away from the palace's outer walls. Apparently a bioweapon of some sort has been employed. The military assures me that there is no present danger of any contamination anywhere in the old quarter of the city. The rest of New Rome is being thoroughly searched."

"I had planned to remain in residence here until after the election on Sunday, and of course, the plan was for our children to be married in the Cathedral of Christ Pantocrator. Nevertheless, if Your Majesties would feel more secure elsewhere, air transports are standing by, ready to transfer the court to New Constantinople, and the wedding could take place in a church there." the Emperor offers. "If Your Majesties feel secure enough here, as I do, we can remain here. It is up to you."

Emperor David turned to one of the blue uniformed Imperial Guards, who had quietly and unobtrusively walked up behind the Emperor, and listened to a whispered comment. Then, David IV stood. “Your Majesty, your assurances of our safety are more than enough for the Empress Elizabeth and I. You are our friend, ally and host; I have no hesitation in trusting you and your efficient forces with our security. For those other dignitaries, as an extra measure of reassurance,” the Emperor turned to the other guests assembled around the room, “my guards have informed me that our detection equipment has picked up no trace of any foreign substances here in the Court of Christ Pantocratoria. So, I would suggest that we all accept the Emperor Andreus’ hospitality and remain here in New Rome.”

David IV smiled and winked at his wife. “And now, with Your Majesty’s permission,” David bows his head slightly towards the Emperor Andreus, “since I already have everyone’s attention, I would like to turn to more pleasant business.”

David turns slightly and takes a parchment scroll from one of the Imperial Guards. “Not to bore you all with internal Excalbian affairs, but as you may know, despite being home to three rather large nations there are several unincorporated territories in the Excalbian Isles. One such territory is the New Maritimes peninsula, just beyond the cities of New Boston and Georgetown. Settlers have been moving into the territory for some time now and many people, both in the territory and in my Government have been urging me to formally annex the territory.”

David looks at Princess Anna and smiles. “I was prepared to do just that, until I heard of my future daughter-in-laws interest in politics, and more importantly, in governing. So,” with a flourish the Emperor unrolls the scroll, “as a wedding present, I have decided to give this patent and Imperial charter to Princess Anna and Prince Joseph, granting them full sovereignty over the peninsula. Henceforth, the peninsula shall be an independent nation under the joint rule of Princess Anna and my son. Of course, given my son’s obligations as a prince of Excalbia, most of the responsibility for ruling this new nation will fall to my future daughter-in-law. Naturally, Excalbia will guarantee the new nation’s security and will provide it full an unfettered access to our markets.”

David turns again and takes a meter long, ornate wooden box from another Imperial Guard. “Since Princess Anna will have most of the responsibility for this new nation, this next gift is for her alone.” The Emperor turns to the young princess. “Your Highness, if you will.”

After Princess Anna makes her way to stand before the Emperor, he hands her one end of the heavy box. He looks at her, but speaks for the entire hall to hear. “In most monarchies, the crown is the symbol of the sovereign. Since the pre-Christian days of the first Excalbian kingdom, however, it is the sword that has symbolized the royal house. In fact, the broadsword I carry is the sword of King Alsgood, the Great, the first king to rule in Citadel Excalbia.” David opens the box, revealing a broadsword with an elaborate hilt covered in dyed rose and purple leather, with embedded diamonds, sapphires and rubies. “This is the sword of Queen Hildegaard, the first queen to rule in the Citadel. She personally wielded this sword in battle, suppressing a rebellion by some barons who objected to being ruled by a woman. I hope, your Highness, that you will not have similar problems.” The Emperor smiles and passes the box entirely to the Princess. He hands the parchment containing the charter to Prince Joseph, who has quietly joined his fiancée and who also offers her a hand with the box.

Princess Anna's mouth runs dry as she reaches trembling hands out to the box. The Emperor passes her the heavy load and Joseph quickly steadies her and helps her with the weight. She is speechless for a short period.

"I... I don't..." Anna says, uncharacteristically lost for words. "I don't know what to say, Your Majesty."

Her father watches likes a hawk from behind the table. Just say thankyou, girl! he wills his daughter to say. Anna glances up at him, before quickly looking back at Joseph, and then at the Emperor David.

"Thankyou, Your Majesty." she says. She looks at Joseph again.

"We will be good!" she promises.

Sir Constantine the Hardy steps forward.

"Please, Your Highnesses, allow me." he says, holding out his arms and kneeling before Anna and Joseph. Anna hands him the box, and then reaches for the sword inside. With two hands on the hilt and a lot of effort, she lifts the broadsword out of the box and into the air, her grip on it a little weak and clumsy.

"You should've given her the sword lessons instead of Andreus and I." says Prince Constantine to the old knight, holding the now empty box. The Emperor glowers at his second son, who settles back into his seat, chastised.

Anna eases the broadsword back into the ornate box, which Sir Constantine helps her close. Anna looks at Joseph again.

"I think we've finally got a location for our honeymoon!" she says happily. She curtsies again to the Emperor David.

The Emperor Andreus leans over to Prince Andreus.

"Of course, we shall make sure that Anna is generously provided with our very best advisors." he whispers. Prince Andreus suppresses a look of disdain for his father and turns back to the Queen of Anti - Avril.

"Quite a gift, eh?" he says as the Emperor settles back down in his chair.

Emperor David IV smiles at his son and future daughter-in-law. “I know you will both do your best. I wish you a long and prosperous reign in your new land. You will have to let me know what you decide to name it,” the Emperor chuckles and takes his seat.

Prince Joseph smiles broadly and leans over to Anna as they make their way back to their seats. “I had no idea my father had this in mind, but I can’t think of a better queen than you, Anna. You’ll make a great ruler!”

Anna is nearly dizzy as she sits down.

"It doesn't even have a name?" she asks, more pondering than questioning.

A page approaches the Emperor, and whispers in his ear. The Emperor looks annoyed, but stands.

"Pardon me, Your Majesties, I will be back in a few moments. Affairs of state." he explains, before proceeding to the edge of the hall, where two generals are standing. The three have a brief discussion behind one of the huge marble pillars, partially obscuring the view of the guests.

The Emperor returns to the table, but does not sit down.

"Your Majesties, it appears that the situation is more serious than we had initially suspected." he says apologetically. "At this juncture, it seems imperative that we relocate for the wedding."

He turns to Anna.

"I'm so sorry, Anna. I know you wanted to be married in the Cathedral of Christ Pantocrator..." the Emperor says softly to his daughter.

Anna does look a little upset, but she shakes her head and mumbles a few words dismissing the Emperor's concern, looking away.

"We'll be safe in New Constantinople." says Prince Andreus, standing from the table.

"We're not going to New Constantinople." says the Emperor. "Pantocratoria's largest city must be just as attractive a target to these terrorists as her capital. We're going to New Jerusalem."

Augustulus Comnenus, Exarch of New Jerusalem, blanches pale at his table when he hears the suggestion as he pictures all the work involved in hosting an Imperial wedding.

"Our transports are fueling in the courtyard as we speak. Everybody here is invited to join us. We will be under heavy escort to New Jerusalem. Once we're there, I can assure you we will be safe, Your Majesties." says the Emperor. "New Jerusalem's security is tighter than that of a fortress."

"Not a fortress..." says Anna quietly and despondently, mainly to Joseph. "...more like a prison."

"Once again, Your Majesties, I extend my deepest apologies. We will reach New Jerusalem by nightfall. We will embark in thirty minutes." says the Emperor.

Joseph looks at Anna and sees the sadness in her eyes. He takes her hand and squeezes it gently. “It’ll be alright, Anna. Whether here or in New Jerusalem or in a barren waste, it will be our wedding day. Your day. And it will be special. I promise you, my love.”

Nearby, David IV rises and whispers to the Empress Elizabeth. She nods and moves over quickly towards Princess Christianna, and together they begin gathering the rest of the family. Seeing that Rebecca, James and Peter are well in hand, the Emperor finds Lord Corman, who is speaking quietly with the captain of the Imperial Guard and Ambassador Rev. Jacob Donnelly. Lord Corman and the Ambassador bow and the Captain salutes as the Emperor approaches. After a brief conversation, the Emperor, with Lord Corman, the Ambassador and the Captain in tow, makes his way to Emperor Andreus.

Emperor David approaches the Pantocratorian Emperor and gives a slight bow of his head. “Your Majesty, I do not wish to intrude – I am sure that you and your men have the situation well in hand – but I wish to offer our assistance.” The Emperor nods over his shoulder at the Captain of the Guard. “Captain Haroldsson’s men have been continually monitoring the air for biological or chemical agents and have detected nothing. They will continue their monitoring and will inform your Varangians if they detect anything. Additionally,” the Emperor glances at his Rev. Donnelly, “if we could offer any assistance in dealing with the crisis, our Embassy could establish a live satellite link with our scientific experts and with our artificial intelligence network back in Excalbia. I am also prepared to summon our nearest fleet elements and put them at your disposal. In fact, I place all of resources at your disposal to deal with this emergency, your Majesty. Anything your people need, they simply need to ask.”

The Emperor looks around at milling crowd. “And, though I doubt your Varangians need it, my Guard is prepared to help them shepherd your guests to the transports. If need be, we can also use my aircraft for additional transportation.”

Cwene Aethelgyth excuses herself, returns to her guest chamber, grabs a suitcase full of clothes, and heads towards the transports with the other guests. She longs to be back in Anti - Avril, where it is safe, and where she is far away from her meddling suzerain.

OOC: Did post this on Friday, but it appears the forums ate it. Well, here it is again...

"As for my sister's pass-times..." says Theodora. "She's a poor horse rider. But she loves chess."

Theodora waits for the seed of her suggestion to grow into a gift idea, looking quite happy to be there.

"Ah, now there's an idea" mused Tharn. "A chess board might be just the gift I'm looking for." He smiles. "Yes, I think I know just where to get the perfect board for the occasion, too. Thanks, Theodora, you're a lifesaver - I was beginning to think I'd be without a gift! I am truly in your debt."

"Tell me," he adds after a slight pause, "is there anything I can do for you in return?"

OOC: Back in the present day...

IC: Tharn rises and walks over to where the Emperor is standing talking to David IV of Excalbia. After waiting for David to finish, he says to Emperor Andreus:

"Sire, my men and I would like to offer any assistance we can give. Sadly our Drakes are not well suited to carrying passengers, but perhapse we could be of use as part of the transports' escort?"

BUMP for great justice

Did this thread die, or get moved elsewhere, or what? Anyone know?

"In the name of international peace the Republic of Ginoata will gladly send a delegate to attend the ceremonies. Preparations shall begin immediately.
-Hashim Momud, Foreign Relations Minister of Ginoata"

Momud examined his letter for a few seconds, then handed it to his aid.
"Send this to the kingdom of Pantocratoria. And while your at it send Miss Agraver to my office."

"Yes Minister Momud" said the aid beforing hurrying out of the office.

OOC: Does anyone know what happened to Pantocratoria? He's been offline for at least a couple of weeks...

OOC:
Yeah, I know - no idea why, though.

OOC: Back now, and this thread will return soon!

OOC: to move things along, let us pretend that the guests have flown to the Exarchate of New Jerusalem!

IC:

The old quarter of New Jerusalem is delimited from the rest of the city by the enormous, thick, grey fortress walls which, for many decades, protected the city from occassional raids by the pagan native population of the island which comprises the Exarchate of New Jerusalem. One long stretch of wall is particularly thick, with a huge courtyard and several large buildings on it. This "castle on a castle" was originally intended to serve as the last bastion of the city during sieges. It was here the defenders of the city retreated during the Third Pantocratorian Crusade, led by Sir Peter Phocas, when the Knights of the Order of the Pantocrator besieged New Jerusalem in an attempt to overthrow the "Godless half-Indian" Exarch Constantine Comnenus in 1653. The defenders held out long enough for the native population to come to their aid, for which action the "Pantocratorian Indians" were rewarded with full citizenship by the Exarch.

The Julian Palace is one of the buildings built on this huge section of wall. The first Julian Palace was built in the Renaissance style in 1605, but burned down in the fires of 1852 which devastated the city. It was replaced by a fairly non-descript and depressing Victorian red-brick building. It is unique amongst the palaces of Pantocratoria in its simplicity and total lack of architectural vision.

Despite its failings, the Julian Palace is the most secure palace in the entire archipelago. Because of its isolation from the rest of the empire, especially from the machinations and intrigues of the capital, and because of how easily the Julian Palace and the courtyard on the old fortress walls can be patrolled. The present Emperor has retired to the security of the Julian Palace in New Jerusalem on many occassions, especially immediately after the death of his wife the Empress Theodora. Zoë was too young to remember, but the imperial children, especially Anna and Theodora, despised being dragged away from their friends at court to the Julian Palace.

"I can't believe that I'm going to be married in New Jerusalem." mumbles Anna for at least the two hundred and thirty second time since the departure from New Rome as the entourage climb the huge staircase on the inner side of the huge walls of the city on their way to the Julian Palace.

Just behind the two Imperial families, the Exarch nervously issues orders in Greek to his staff in the palace above, who have been working desperately to prepare the palace for an Imperial visit with just a few hours notice. The Exarch Augustulus Comnenus is even more nervous about the prospect of hosting an Imperial wedding in the Cathedral of Our Lady of New Jerusalem tomorrow. He doesn't even notice the troops coming to attention and saluting the two Emperors and the guests as the entourage finally reaches the courtyard.

A platoon of the Varangian Guard and a platoon of the Legion of the Exarchate of New Jerusalem, dressed in combat fatigues rather than dress uniforms, with M-16s slung over the shoulders, come to attention and await inspection as the huge delegation arrives.

The Emperor Andreus looks supremely disinterested as he motions for Sir Constantine the Hardy to inspect the troops, and gestures towards the Julian Palace.

"Your Majesties," he says to the Excalbian Emperor and Empress, "the Julian Palace. Not much to look at, I'll grant you, but I assure you, the palace is comfortable enough, and the most secure place in all of Pantocratoria. I will show you to your appartments personally."

Princess Irene, who has been talking on her mobile phone for most of the trip, finally turns the thing off and hands it to Father Guillot, who puts it in his pocket. She quickens her pace until she comes alongside her brother, the Emperor.

"Your Majesty, I must speak to you about the election..." she says to him quietly. "With martial law declared, surely, it will be quite impossible to have an election on Sunday. Any governmental destabilisation during this period is critical!"

"Elections..." murmurs Andreus as he rolls his eyes and leads the delegation into the Julian Palace.

Back that morning...

"Ah, now there's an idea" mused Tharn. "A chess board might be just the gift I'm looking for." He smiles. "Yes, I think I know just where to get the perfect board for the occasion, too. Thanks, Theodora, you're a lifesaver - I was beginning to think I'd be without a gift! I am truly in your debt."

"Tell me," he adds after a slight pause, "is there anything I can do for you in return?"

Theodora bites her lip and smiles.

"No, that was free." she says as she stands.

She then offers her hand to Tharn, and the two walk back toward the palace.

"...unless you want to, of course." she adds.

"I can't believe that I'm going to be married in New Jerusalem." mumbles Anna for at least the two hundred and thirty second time since the departure from New Rome as the entourage climb the huge staircase on the inner side of the huge walls of the city on their way to the Julian Palace.

Joseph reaches for Anna's hand. "I know it's not how you envisioned it, but everything will be alright. Tomorrow will be your day and it will be beautiful." He smiles and adds, "I love you, Anna."

"Your Majesties," he says to the Excalbian Emperor and Empress, "the Julian Palace. Not much to look at, I'll grant you, but I assure you, the palace is comfortable enough, and the most secure place in all of Pantocratoria. I will show you to your appartments personally."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," Empress Elizabeth smiles and gives a slight curtsey.

David IV looks around the massive walls of the city and the simple but sturdy palace. "Your Majesty, I actually find the palace and the fortifications quite impressive. It reminds be a bit of the old Citadel Palace back in Excalbia. It was also built as a fortress and has withstood many attacks. I'm sure we will be quite safe and comfortable here."

The Emperor looks over his shoulder at his Ambassador, Rev. Jacob Donnelly. "With your permission, I'll ask Ambassador Donnelly to accompany us. He has been in touch with our Embassy, which has established an open teleconference between our experts in Excalbia and some of your own personnel. He may have some information for us."

"Indeed, please join us, Reverend." Andreus says, motioning for Donnelly to join the two sovereigns.

"Madam," he continues, addressing the Empress, "I hope we'll not bore Your Majesty, but instead of showing you to your apartments for the evening, His Majesty and my sister and I really should talk to the Ambassador about the situation. Would you like to accompany us to the drawing room? If not, then would you be offended if I asked one of my sons to show you to your aparments?"

Andreus clicks his fingers to get Prince Constantine's attention, who leaves his discussions with Prince Basil to attend his father.

"Your Majesties?" Prince Constantine inquires respectfully, ignoring Princess Irene, who likewise ignores him.

Andreus looks to the Empress for her decision.

Augustulus Comnenus, Exarch of New Jerusalem, barely arrived in his apartments in the Julian Palace when Princess Zoë appeared with a list in her hand. With his staff scurrying about the place, chattering on a battery of phones, madly trying to organise appropriate accommodation for the whole court and the wedding guests, Augustulus hardly noticed the teenager at all... until she started reading from the list.

She started a few minutes ago, and was still going.

"Your Highness, please..." Augustulus interjects. "Your sister can't possibly expect us to fit a choir of four hundred into the Basillica on top of all the guests!"

"They agreed to a choir of six hundred in the Cathedral of Christ Pantocrator." complains Zoë. "What's so hard about four hundred?"

"The doors will burst open and courtiers will spill onto the streets in disarray, the church will be so full!" snaps the Exarch. "And the voices of the choir won't reverberate at all, because the Basillica will be packed to the roof full of people! This isn't New Rome! This is New Jerusalem!"

Zoë rolls her eyes.

"Look, Anna drew up this list so you could prepare, not so you could complain and make excuses!" she snaps back.

"Oh well, Your Highness," the Exarch says, his words lathered generously in sarcasm, "I'll suppose I'll stop complaining and just prepare for the choir eight times as large as the one we can actually accommodate, I suppose I'll just make the one dozen marble fountains out of thin air, I suppose I'll..."

"...that's marble fountains with statues depicting..." Zoë interrupts as she looks on her list and finds the demand in question. "...ah yes, depicting cheribum in various romantic and doting poses."

"ARRGH!" Augustulus exclaims, before launching into a tirade of curses in Greek.

"I speak Greek, you know." says Zoë.

"Really?" the Exarch asks, blanching a little.

"Well... not well... but a little..." Zoë admits. She sighs. "Look, why don't I just give you this list, and you can make whatever changes you think are required, and then you can give it to Anna, and she'll make her changes, and so on and so on. It's called compromise."

Zoë beams proudly at her maturity.

"No." Augustulus replies, his voice starting low and getting increasingly hysterical. "See, no compromise is possible. There's a finite number of choir members one can fit into the Basillica of the Blessed Virgin of New Jerusalem, and just because one can haggle over the size of a choir doesn't mean that one can magically increase the space available to accommodate such a choir. Just because one can agree that two fountains are more reasonable than one dozen doesn't mean that it is in fact possible to obtain any fountains at all, with cherubim in poses depicting romantic daliance, or even poodles in poses depicting urination for that matter."

"Arrrgh!" Zoë groans, before dropping the list on the table and turning away, shaking her head as she leaves. "Whatever!"

As the young princess leaves the Exarch's apartments, Augustulus Comnenus shouts:

"WHY WASN'T I INFORMED WHEN MY DUTIES WERE EXPANDED TO INCLUDE WEDDING PLANNING FOR SPOILT, HARD TO PLEASE IMPERIAL PRINCESSES?"

Nobody replies. Ten seconds of silence follow. The Exarch sighs.

"Does anybody know the number of that fellow we got to design the fountains in the garden?" he says, in a resigned tone.

lol

"Indeed, please join us, Reverend." Andreus says, motioning for Donnelly to join the two sovereigns.

"Madam," he continues, addressing the Empress, "I hope we'll not bore Your Majesty, but instead of showing you to your apartments for the evening, His Majesty and my sister and I really should talk to the Ambassador about the situation. Would you like to accompany us to the drawing room? If not, then would you be offended if I asked one of my sons to show you to your aparments?"

Andreus clicks his fingers to get Prince Constantine's attention, who leaves his discussions with Prince Basil to attend his father.

"Your Majesties?" Prince Constantine inquires respectfully, ignoring Princess Irene, who likewise ignores him.

Andreus looks to the Empress for her decision.

Empress Elizabeth gives her husband a knowing look. "Thank you, Your Majesty. While my own curiosity compels me to attend the discussions with my husband, I'm afraid that with all the commotion, my son may need some counsel at some point. So, I will gladly accept your offer to allow Prince Constantine to show me to our quarters." With another slight curtsey the Empress departs following closely behind the Pantocratorian prince.

As the Empress and Prince Constantine continue their ascent towards the palace, Rev. Donnelly takes a quick look at his handheld PC and approaches the two emperors. He and David IV exchange a quick aside. The Emperor nods and looks back towards Andreus.

"Your Majesty, Rev. Donnelly has told me that there is some interesting news to report. Perhaps we should retire to a suitable location for a full report."

"Of course, Your Majesty." the Emperor nods. He motions for his sister and the Excalbians to follow him. "The drawing room will be quite suitable I should imagine, please follow me."

The four proceed down a hall decorated by fairly uninspired paintings depicting the founding of the Exarchate by the Second Pantocratorian Crusade, and come to a single gilded door, which the Emperor opens himself. Princess Irene, Emperor David IV, and Reverend Donnelly all enter, and the Emperor closes the door behind them. He motions for the Excalbians to sit at the heavy oak conference table into which is carved the arms of Pantocratoria. Irene heads over to a cabinet, and retrieves four crystal brandy glasses and a bottle of Augustulus Comnenus' best brandy, before offering everyone a drink.

Andreus takes his brandy sits down with the Excalbians, shortly followed by his chancellor.

"Reverend, I believe you've some news to report." he inquires.

"Of course, Your Majesty." the Emperor nods. He motions for his sister and the Excalbians to follow him. "The drawing room will be quite suitable I should imagine, please follow me."

The four proceed down a hall decorated by fairly uninspired paintings depicting the founding of the Exarchate by the Second Pantocratorian Crusade, and come to a single gilded door, which the Emperor opens himself. Princess Irene, Emperor David IV, and Reverend Donnelly all enter, and the Emperor closes the door behind them. He motions for the Excalbians to sit at the heavy oak conference table into which is carved the arms of Pantocratoria. Irene heads over to a cabinet, and retrieves four crystal brandy glasses and a bottle of Augustulus Comnenus' best brandy, before offering everyone a drink.

Andreus takes his brandy sits down with the Excalbians, shortly followed by his chancellor.

"Reverend, I believe you've some news to report." he inquires.

"Yes, Your Majesties," he nods to the Emperors and then glances at Princes Irene, "and Your Highness. I was just in contact with our Embassy in New Rome - they are working there under lock-down conditions with full biohazard precautions. They have established a DVC link with Ministry of Defense in Excalbia, which is serving as the primary interface for DAIN - our artificial intelligence network, and Pantocratorian experts in New Rome. Together, our researchers have used DAIN to begin mapping the DNA of this fungal agent."

Donnelly pulls out his handheld PC and checks his notes. "Obviously, there isn't time, or - so the experts tell me - need, to sequence the entire genome. They are, however, exploring several promising leads that may represent a genetic vulnerability in the agent. Our researchers' hope is that one of these vulnerabilities will provide a means to destroy the fungus." Donnelly looked down again at his notes, but this time did not look up. "Unfortunately, while they are hopefully they can find a way to kill the fungus and its spores, there is no way to repair the damage already done to the victims' lungs. So, while those treated in early stages of the contamination might be saved, those in the later stages..."

David IV nodded his head grimly. "An imperfect solution, but a possible solution nonetheless." Turning squarely towards the Ambassador, he continues. "Do you have any idea how close they may be to exploiting one of these genetic vulnerabilities?"

"No, Your Majesty. They say the research is unpredictable. But they are hopeful. They've put all the Government's DAIN networks, and most of those belonging to the universities and private research centers as well, on the project and they say that they've accomplished years of research in a day. They see that as very promising. However," Donnelly turns his head towards Emperor Andreus, then turns to his Chancellor, "they have said that need a live sample of the fungus in a host medium for further research. The MOD is prepared to dispatch an SR-71 to pick up the sample and take it our Level-4 lab in Windmere. With your permission, of course."

(OOC: Should we move this part of the story to the Prince Bastianel thread?)

OOC: Yeah, that's probably best. Actually I'm thinking of starting a new thread altogether for the incident since Prince Bastianel has absolutely nothing to do with it anymore. I'll post a link in both this thread and the other if I do so.

Dawn breaks over the city of New Jerusalem, revealing the bustle of activity around the Basillica of the Blessed Virgin of New Jerusalem which has obviously been going about all night. Crowd barriers have been erected to keep the citizenry at a safe and respectful distance from the Imperial Family and its guests. Enough film, light and sound equipment has been setup overnight to run a small motion picture company, cunningly disguised by banners, statues, purple and white canopies and other decorations. Hundreds of workers are busy cleaning, decorating and otherwise preparing the sandstone basillica. A huge long purple carpet has been run from the altar, down the aisle, out to the carriageway. Short notice or no, the principal church of the isolated Exarchate will be ready for the day's wedding.

The preparations for the reception in the Julian Palace were not as progressed. Out in the courtyard on the huge city walls, a helicopter lowers a large and impressive marble fountain into its proper place as nervous onlookers bite their nails. The fountain is one of many built for the original ceremony in New Rome, and has been flown all the way from the capital to the island. Once it is lowered into place, it is detached from its harnesses, and the helicopter pulls away as some craftsmen set about repairing the damage done to the elaborate fountain in transit. An unshaven Augustulus Comnenus looks on from a palace balcony, allowing himself a moment for a relieved sigh when he sees the fountain land safely before returning inside to resume organising his staff.

OOC: I intend to start the wedding as soon as Excalbia confirms he's done everything he wants to do before the wedding itself.

Prince Joseph starred off the balcony of his room as the sun rose above the bustling courtyard below. He had been up most of the night reading. He wasn't nervous. Not really. But it was a big moment. And an unexpected one. He had never anticipated marriage when his father "persuaded" him to visit the court of Christ Pantocrator, not a "serious suitor," but "just for the experience."

Experience indeed! Joseph smiled quietly and thought of his love for Anna.

Joseph felt a warm hand on his shoulder and turned around. His mother, already dressed for breakfast, stood there smiling.

"Are you able to sneak up on Father as easily as you can on me?" Joseph chuckled as he gave his mother a kiss on the cheek.

"Only when he is daydreaming," Empress Elizabeth answered with a laugh of her own. "You and your father are quite alike in that regard - very serious daydreamers." The Empress stood back and looked over her son. "So are you going to ready for breakfast or are you too nervous to eat?"

"When have nerves ever kept me from the table, Mother?"

"I guess not. Come, you need to get ready. Your brother and sister, cousin and aunt are ready and waiting."

"And Father?" Joseph asked with a nervousness of a different sort - despite the joy of the day, he was well aware of the crisis in New Rome and the demands of politics and government that might be facing the visiting Excalbian Emperor.

"Your Father is almost ready. You know how he despises mornings. But, he should be ready before you are. And if he isn't, he is the Emperor and can make us wait for him." Elizabeth laughed. "You don't have that prerogative, Joseph. So, let's go!"

(OOC: If there're no pre-wedding events, then feel free to start the wedding itself.)

The Emperor Andreus, dressed in a white dress uniform with a purple sash and a chest covered in all sorts of medals he never did anything in particular to earn, mutters to Sir Constantine the Hardy, who is wearing the plain, padded undergarment he wears underneath his ceremonial plate armour, and carrying an ornate sword for the Emperor's dress uniform, as the two men walk side by side through the hallways of the Julian Palace.

"Zoë's dress was lost in transit." the Emperor says to Sir Constantine. "She's naturally unimpressed. She's being measured for another one right now, but I doubt they'd be able to make another dress like the old one in a few hours."

"It has to be like the old one?" Sir Constantine asks.

"Of course it does, Con." the Emperor replies as he inspects the gold buttons on his sleeve. "Theodora is going to be wearing a dress identical to Zoë's old one."

"I see." Sir Constantine replies. "Changing the topic, have you heard anything about the situation in New Rome?"

"Hmmm? Ah, yes, that's all under control." the Emperor says dismissively, furrowing his brow at his sleeve. "My buttons haven't been polished very thoroughly."

"I heard something about possibly needing to destroy a military installation near the city?" Constantine enquires.

"I'll have to speak to the dressing staff, this is most unsatisfactory." the Emperor concludes as the two arrive at the chapel.

Sir Constantine opens the door for the Emperor, and the two men step inside, crossing themselves with holy water, before stopping their conversation when they see Anna kneeling in prayer in the front row. The Princess glances back over her shoulder before quickly finishing her prayers and crossing herself. She gets off her knees and sits on the pew. The Emperor walks down to her row, januflects, crosses himself, and sits down next to her. Sir Constantine crosses himself with holy water and then excuses himself, stepping out of the chapel to give the Emperor a chance to speak to his daughter alone.

Anna leans the side of her head on her father's shoulder. The Emperor's discomfort is obvious - he clearly doesn't enjoy physical contact, even with his own daughter. He doesn't make a fuss of it, however.

"What do you think mother would've said today if she was still here?" Anna asks.

"I've no idea." says the Emperor after a brief pause. "But I like to think that she's proud of you today."

The two sit in silence for a few other moments.

"I know I am." he adds, looking forward at the altar.

Anna looks up at her father and smiles.

"Thankyou." she says quietly.

"So, I understand that your dress got here safely." the Emperor says, changing the topic to a less personal one.

"Yes, of course." Anna says.

"Zoë's didn't." the Emperor observes.

"This is going to be such a disaster!" Anna says, stressing out.

"Everything will be fine." says the Emperor, almost reassuringly.

The Excalbian Ambassador to the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator entered his sovereign’s apartment dressed in his vestments as a priest of the Church of Excalbia. He pulled uncomfortably at the collar and fumbled with the robe as he bowed to the Emperor.

David IV, dressed in a gleaming white naval uniform with a blue sash, ribbons and gold flight wings, chuckled. “You seem a little uncomfortable, Ambassador.”

“Yes, Your Majesty, I am. I haven’t had to wear this outfit since my posting here as your ambassador. There aren’t many Churches of Excalbia in New Rome!”

The Emperor nodded with a smile. “So, where have you and Mrs. Donnelly been worshiping, Reverend? Have you been attending mass?”

“Sometimes, Your Majesty,” Rev. Donnelly said, slowly growing comfortable in his robes, “but usually we attend a small, unobtrusive, non-denominational expatriate church.”

“That’s a lot of adjectives, Rev. Donnelly. Or are they caveats?”

Before the Ambassador can answer, the Emperor looks over his shoulder. “Joseph? Rev. Donnelly is here. Let’s get going so he can out of his vestments and back into his uniform for the wedding!”

Prince Joseph, dressed in the formal blue uniform of an Imperial Army lieutenant, stepped out of the dressing room and into the sitting room.

“I am ready, Father. But are sure this is necessary? I mean…”

“Yes, it is. You are getting married today and you and your wife will become sovereigns of your own nations and you will also become my official heir apparent. Yes, yes,” the Emperor shoots his son an exasperated look, “I know the Senate and the Bishops will have the final say, but today I can officially proclaim you my choice as my heir. This ceremony goes back to the beginnings of the Citadel and will be followed.”

“Yes, Father,” Joseph says chagrinned.

The Prince takes his position to the Emperor’s right and Rev. Donnelly walks around to stand behind them. Across the room, another set of doors open and Empress Elizabeth and the rest of Imperial family file in, followed by Lord Corman, the Imperial Chamberlain, and other members of the Emperor’s staff.

After everyone takes a moment to find a place along the wall, a troop of Imperial Guards in full dress, complete with archaic plumbed helmets and broadswords, appears at the door. The captain of the guard steps forward and holds aloft an elaborately decorated sword. “The Sword of Alsgood, King of the Upper Lands, Conqueror of the Plains, Lord of the Citadel Excalbia!”

The guards salute as everyone, except Rev. Donnelly, kneels. The captain walks slowly and deliberately towards the Emperor. As he reaches the Emperor, David IV rises and reaches out the sword. The captain releases the sword. “My Lord,” he says and joins the others on his knees.

The Emperor holds the sword before him and turns towards Rev. Donnelly.

“The Sword of Alsgood, by the Grace of God, is yours, Your Majesty. Wield it justly and righteously, and may God bless you and your land.”

David bows his head and recites the Prayer of Joshua, asking God for wisdom and pledging his obedience and faithfulness. Then, the Emperor turns to Joseph. He holds the sword above his head. “My days have been numbered since my youth and the time will come to pass that the sword shall fall from my hand.” The Emperor lowers the sword and touches it to his son’s shoulder. “When that day comes, I charge you, Joseph, to take the sword from my hand and reign as the heir of Alsgood, first king in Excalbia, and the House of Joshua.”

Pushing against the weight of sword Joseph rises. He places his hand, with his father’s on the sword. “I shall, Your Majesty.”

Rev. Donnelly extends his hands over both the Emperor and his heir and begins to pray.

* * *

After the brief prayer, David IV places the sword in the scabbard strapped to the belt under his tunic. Then, he embraces his son. “Well done, son. I am proud of you. Not just for this, but for everything. I love you.” With a tear welling up in his eye, he turns towards Rev. Donnelly. “I’m sorry, I need to see how things are going with our efforts to assist with the crisis in New Rome.” He walks away from his son.

Joseph crosses the room to his mother, who likes the others has risen from her knees. “Joseph, I love you,” Empress Elizabeth says smiling, with tears streaming down her face. She hugs Joseph.

“Yuck,” Prince James says, pulling at his own uniform, “I’ll be so glad when all this is over. I’m… owww!” The young prince begins rubbing his head where his aunt, Princess Christiana, has just gently flicked him with her fingers.

“Its almost time for the wedding, so it’ll be over soon enough. Now mind your manner,” the Princess smiles, “our I’ll make you dance with one Emperor Andreus’ daughters. Alone. Just the two of you. With everyone watching.”

Flushing bright red, James bows his head. “Yes, Ma’am.”

Outside of the Basilica of the Blessed Virgin of New Jerusalem, a throng of reporters, photographers, and ordinary people have gathered behind the barriers to watch the arrival of the guests. A huge purple canopy extends from the front of the church, supported by a pillar on each side. On the left pillar are the arms of the House of Bourbon-Comnenus-Palaeologus, and on the right pillar are the arms of the House of Joshua. To the right of the canopy is a large orchestra pit where the Imperial Philharmonic Orchestra of New Constantinople sits. A long purple carpet stretches out to where a limousine pulls up. The Duc d'Adrianopolis disembarks, accompanied by the duchess, and proceeds into the church. The crowd grows excited. The first members of the two Imperial families are sure to follow the Duc d'Adrianopolis.

The crowd is not disappointed. Just two minutes later, a huge coach flying the banner of the House of Bourbon-Comnenus-Palaeologus comes down the carriageway, pulled by huge black horses. As it comes to a stop in front of the carpet, the orchestra starts playing some very regal sounding Handel. Attendants open the coach door, and Prince Basil steps down onto the carpet. He holds his arm out and assists his wife, Princess Jacqueline, and then their two daughters, Princess Helen and Princess Marie. Prince Basil takes the opportunity to pose for a few photos the day before the election before proceeding into the Basilica as his coach pulls away.

It is soon followed by an identical coach, from which steps Prince Constantine. He poses for a few quick photos before finally getting around to helping his sisters Theodora and Zoë out of the coach. Both girls are dressed in identical gowns, despite the earlier misgivings, and Constantine wears a dress naval uniform with a purple sash. Zoë seems a little taken back at the size of the crowd and the sheer number of cameras pointed at the two bridesmaids and their brother, but the party quickly enters the Basilica, and get to their appropriate places.

The next coach is a white state coach, flying the arms of both the House of Bourbon-Comnenus-Palaeologus and the Despotate of New Constantinople. Prince Andreus disembarks, assisting his aunt Princess Irene down onto the carpet. The Despot of New Constantinople wears a uniform bristling with a generous selection of decorative medals, of which there are so many that even the purple sash has an ample number of them pinned to it. He wears the coronet of New Constantinople and waves to a group of swooning teenage girls standing near the front of the crowd before leading the Chancellor into the Basilica.

The crowd falls quiet, eagerly anticipating the arrival of the Excalbian Imperial Family before the bride and her father. Sir Constantine the Hardy, wearing his brightly polished and highly decorated gothic plate armour, keeps a watchful eye over the crowd as he stands underneath the canopy with a group of highly decorated Varangian Guard.

A cheer goes up in front of the Basilica of the Blessed Virgin as the first Excalbian coach arrives. The large coach, painted in Imperial blue and flying the state banner, comes to a stop. A distinguished elderly gentleman in formal coat and tails steps from the carriage. Lord Johannes Corman, the Imperial Chamberlain, turns and waits as the recently arrived Deputy Minister of State, Sarah Harrington, exits the carriage in a formal blue gown. Both Lord Corman and Deputy Minister Harrington give a slight bow as the last occupant, an older woman, whose hawkish face is soften by a wide smile, steps down to the pavement. Lady Jessica Tagaarth, Speaker of the Imperial Senate, returns the bow and quickly follows the rest of the State Delegation into the church.

The crowd, which had resumed its restless shuffle as the little-known Excalbian officials arrived, gives another cheer as a second blue coach arrives. This time, the cheer grows stronger as a few recognize the Imperial banner flying from the carriage. The cheer drops just slightly as the first members of the Imperial family exit. The Emperor’s nephew, Prince Peter, also dressed in a formal coat and tails, waves distractedly to the crowd. He is followed by Prince James, the Emperor’s youngest son. James practically shakes as he tries to restrain himself from pulling at his tie and trousers. Princess Rebecca emerges from the carriage and looks around at the crowd. Her face practically glows as she smiles and waves. Her warm expression draws another loud cheer. Finally, Princess Christianna, the Emperor’s sister and aunt of the groom, elegantly glides down from the carriage. Her warm manner, charity and natural good looks have already made her a staple in the local personality pages and tabloids, and the crowd responds approvingly to her.

With a smile and a wave, the Imperial aunt ushers her nephews and niece into the church just as the next coach arrives.

The large Imperial blue carriage is adorned with the Imperial banner, the coat of arms of the House of Joshua and many wreathes of flowers. As soon as it stops, a troop of Imperial Guards in bright blue uniforms and gold, plumed helmets appears as if from nowhere and comes to attention beside the coach. The captain of the guard opens the door and the entire detachment salutes.

Emperor David IV steps from the carriage in his gleaming white naval uniform. Across his chest is a blue sash adorned with awards and medals – most of them earned during his service in the Imperial Navy as a Prince – and his gold pilot’s wings. At his side, he wears an ancient broadsword – symbol of his authority in Excalbia, and over his shoulders is draped an opulent blue cloak. The Emperor extends his hand and helps his wife, Empress Elizabeth, down from the carriage. The Empress beams as she waves to the jubilant crowd. She adjusts her blue silk wrap and gathers her elaborate, gold embroidered blue gown about her as she takes her place beside her husband.

When Prince Joseph emerges from the carriage a roar sweeps through the crowd. Although he can feel his cheeks flushing pink, he smiles and waves. In his blue Imperial Army uniform, polished black boots and sword he is the perfect picture of a prince. After turning to the crowds on either side of him and behind the carriage, he turns and kneels briefly before his father and his Emperor, then rises and, taking his mother’s arm, follows his father into the church.

Sir Constantine the Hardy finishes ushering in the Excalbians, before proceeding up the purple carpet to await the arrival of the Emperor and the bride. The crowd hushes, before erupting as the huge Imperial state coach, pulled by a dozen huge white horses, enters the carriageway.

Inside the coach sit two figures. The Emperor Andreus, wearing a rich purple state cloak over his white dress uniform, and the heavy Demetrios Crown, is for once not the centre of attention as all eyes are upon the bride. Princess Anna looks serene behind her white veil.

The coach pulls up at the end of the carpet, perfectly timed with the orchestra finishing the Handel it was playing. As Sir Constantine the Hardy reaches up to the handle of the coach's door, the orchestra starts playing "God Save the Emperor". The door is opened and the Emperor sets his purple-booted feet onto the carpet below with the assistance of Sir Constantine. The Emperor then steps slightly to the left, and both he and the Imperial Champion assist Princess Anna out of the coach and onto the carpet.

Cameras flash all over the place to get shots of Anna's wedding gown for the tabloids. The dress has been patterned after the late Empress Theodora's dress, and is breathtaking, if traditional. Anna takes her father's arm, and Sir Constantine stands aside. The bride and her father step forward and start walking towards the basilica, and Sir Constantine follows them, keeping his hand near the hilt of his admittedly ceremonial blade. The orchestra finishes playing the anthem just as the procession steps into the Basilica of the Blessed Virgin of New Jerusalem.

The basilica's huge organ comes to life as, on the inside of the church, the Emperor leads Princess Anna, joined now by her bridesmaids (and sisters), down the aisle to the altar, where Jacques Cardinal Conomos, the Archbishop of New Rome, stands waiting. Flanking him on one side are Prince Joseph and his best man. In front of the altar are two purple cushions, embroided with the letters J and A interwoven.

Finally Anna arrives at the altar, and everyone moves to their appropriate places.

"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." says Cardinal Conomos.

"Amen." mumbles the assembled congregation.

"Peace be with you." he says.

"And also with you." replies the assembly, although not so confidently as few of them actually speak English.

"Coming together as God's family, with confidence let us ask for the Father's forgiveness, for he is full of gentleness and compassion." says the Cardinal in perfect English. There is a brief pause before the assembly responds quietly in poor English.

"I confess to almighty God, and to you here present that I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do; and I asked blessed Mary, ever virgin, all the angels and saints, and you, here present, to pray for me to the Lord our God." each guests says with varying degrees of success.

"May almighty God have mercy on us, forgive us our sins, and bring us to everlasting life." the Cardinal concludes, and is answered with a slightly more confident "Amen".

The huge choir starts singing "Kyrie eleison. Christi eleison. Kyrie eleison."

"Let us pray." the Cardinal says. He pauses a moment, and then steps forward to Joseph and Anna.

"Joseph, wilt thou take Anna, here present, for thy lawful wife, according to the rite of our holy Mother the Church?" he asks the Excalbian prince.


OOC: The appropriate answer is "I will", presuming you're leaning that way! :) I need Joseph's full name to continue.

Prince Joseph looks pale, but stands strong and tall. He looks at Anna and smiles. The color seems to return to his face.

"I will," he answers in a loud, clear voice.

OOC: The full name is Joseph Daniel Aaron. Davidson, if you need a last name. (The Excalbian Imperial family keeps the old tradition of the child taking the father's given name with son or dotter on the end as a surname.)

Cardinal Conomos nods as Anna smiles.

"Anna, wilt thou take Joseph, here present, for thy lawful husband, according to the rite of our holy Mother the Church?" he asks the princess.

"I will." Anna answers, beaming.

The Cardinal turns to Joseph.

"Repeat after me." he says. "I, Joseph Daniel Aaron Davidson, take thee, Anna Theodora Marie Capet, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

Joseph looks at Cardinal Conomos and nods. Then, he turns to Anna, looks in her eyes and smiles. "I, Joseph Daniel Aaron Davidson, take thee, Anna Theodora Marie Capet, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

Cardinal Conomos nods, and then turns to Anna.

"Repeat after me." he says. "I, Anna Theodora Marie Capet, take thee, Joseph Daniel Aaron Davidson, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

"I, Anna Theodora Marie Capet, take thee, Joseph Daniel Aaron Davidson, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." Anna replies, still beaming, looking back at Joseph.

"I join you together in marriage, in the Name of the Father," Conomos says as he makes the sign of the cross. "and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."

The Cardinal sprinkles Joseph and Anna both with holy water. He then accepts the ring on a purple cushion, and blesses it.

"Our help is in the Name of the Lord." he says.

"Who made heaven and earth." is the response.

"O Lord, hear my prayer." says the Cardinal.

"And let my cry come unto Thee." reply the couple.

"The Lord be with you." the Cardinal concludes.

"And with Thy spirit." comes the reply.

"Let us pray." says the Cardinal, sprinkling the ring with holy water in the sign of the cross. "Bless, O Lord, this ring, which we bless in Thy name, that she who shall wear it, keeping true faith unto her spouse, may abide in Thy peace and in obedience to Thy will, and ever live in mutual love. Through Christ our Lord."

"Amen." is the response.

The Cardinal then carries the ring on its cushion to Joseph, and proffers it to him.

OOC: The bridegroom, having received the ring from the hand of the priest, should place it on the third finger of the left hand of the bride, saying:

With this ring I thee wed and I plight unto thee my troth.

Joseph takes the ring. His hand trembles for just a moment, then he steadies himself. He smiles at Anna and slides the ring on the third finger of her left hand. "With this ring I thee wed and I plight unto thee my troth."

OOC WARNING: This will be long. Very long.

Cardinal Conomos smiles, and looking down on the two newly weds, makes the sign of the cross yet again.

"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen." he says.

"Confirm, O God, that which Thou hast wrought in us." he says.

"From Thy holy temple, which is in Jerusalem." comes the reply.

"Lord, have mercy." says the Cardinal.

"Christ, have mercy." is the reply.

"Lord, have mercy." says the Cardinal, before inaudibly starting to say the Lord's Prayer. "Our father who art in heaven..."

"And lead us not into temptation." he becomes audible again.

"But deliver us from evil."

"Save Thy servants." he says.

"Who hope in Thee, O my God."

"Send them help, O Lord, from Thy holy place."

"And defend them out of Sion."

"Be unto them, Lord, a tower of strength."

"From the face of the enemy."

"O Lord, hear my prayer." says the Archbishop of New Rome.

"And let my cry come unto Thee." is the reply.

"The Lord be with you." concludes the Cardinal.

"And with Thy spirit." is the reply.

"Let us pray." says the Cardinal. "Look down with favor, O Lord, we beseech Thee, upon these Thy servants, and graciously protect this, Thine ordinance, whereby Thou hast provided for the propagation of mankind; that they who are joined together by Thy authority may be preserved by Thy help; through Christ our Lord. Amen."

The Cardinal indicates for the couple to kneel on their purple cushions.

The choir starts singing the Introit in Latin. "Deus Israel conjungat vos: et ipse sit vobiscum, qui misertus est duobus unicis: et nunc, Domine, fac eos plenius benedicere te..."

As the choir finishes, the Cardinal resumes in English.

"May the God of Israel join you together: and may He be with you, who was merciful to two only children: and now, O Lord, make them bless Thee more fully." he says. "Blessed are all they that fear the Lord, that walk in His ways."

"Hear us, almighty and merciful God: that what is performed by our ministry may be abundantly fulfilled with Thy blessing." he continues. "Through our Lord Jesus Christ Thy Son, Who liveth and reigneth with Thee in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end."

Cardinal Poitiers-Phocas, the Archbishop of New Constantinople, and Pantocratoria's second-highest churchman, steps to the pulpit.

"A lesson from the Epistle of Blessed Paul the Apostle to the Ephesians." he begins, reading from the Bible. "Brethren: Let women be subject to their husbands as to the Lord; for the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the Church. He is the savior of His body. Therefore, as the Church is subject to Christ, so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the Church, and delivered Himself up for it: that He might sanctify it, cleansing it by the laver of water in the word of life; that He might present it to Himself a glorious Church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So also ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself: for no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it; as also Christ doth the Church: for we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be two in one flesh. This is a great Sacrament, but I speak in Christ and in the Church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular love his wife as himself, and let the wife fear her husband."

"Uxor tua sicut vitis abundans in lateribus domus tuae." sings the choir.

"Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine on the sides of thy house. Thy children as olive plants round about thy table." says Cardinal Conomos.

"Alleluia! Alleluia!" sings the choir.

"May the Lord send you help from the sanctuary, and defend you out of Sion. Alleluia." concludes the Cardinal.

The assembly shows the proper respect for the Gospel as it is carried to Cardinal Poitiers-Phocas, who kisses the book before opening it.

"The Lord be with you." says Cardinal Poitiers-Phocas.

"And with thy spirit." replies the assembly.

"A reading from the Gospel according to Matthew." he says. The assembly makes the appropriate gestures.

"At that time: The Pharisees came to Jesus, tempting Him and saying; It is lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? Who answering said to them, Have ye not read, that He who made man from the beginning, made them male and female? and He said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they two shall be in one flesh. Therefore, now they are not two but one flesh. What, therefore, God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." reads the Archbishop of New Constantinople. "Praise be to thee Lord Jesus Christ."

"In Thee, O Lord, have I hoped: I said, Thou art my God; my times are in Thy hands." says the Archbishop of New Rome.

The gifts are brought forward and are laid upon the altar.

Conomos prays in secret, loud enough for Anna and Joseph to hear. "Accept, we beseech Thee, O Lord, the gifts offered for the sacred law of marriage: and do Thou dispose according to Thy will, that which is instituted by Thy bounty. Through our Lord Jesus Christ Thy Son, Who liveth and reigneth with Thee in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end."

"It it truly meet and just, right and for our salvation, that we should at all times, and in all places, give thanks unto Thee, O holy Lord, Father almighty, everlasting God, through Christ our Lord." he continues, audibly once again. "Through whom the Angels praise Thy Majesty, the Dominations worship it, the Powers stand in awe. The heavens and the heavenly hosts together with the blessed Seraphim in triumphant chorus unite to celebrate it. Together with them, we entreat Thee, that Thou mayest bid our voices also to be admitted, while we say in lowly praise."

The choir sings the Lord's Prayer in Latin.

The Cardinal washes his hands, kisses the altar, and turns around again.

"Brethren, pray that my sacrifice and yours may be well pleasing to God the Father almighty." he says.

"May the Lord accept sacrifice at your hands, for the praise and glory of His name, for our own benefit, and for that of all His Church." is the reply.

"Sanctify, we beseech Thee, O Lord, our God, by the invocation of Thy holy Name, the Sacrifice we offer, and by it make of us an everlasting offering unto Thee. Through our Lord Jesus Christ Thy Son, Who with Thee, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, liveth and reigneth, one God," he says secretly, before finishing aloud. "...world without end."

"Amen." comes the reply.

He turns again to Anna and Joseph.

"Let us pray. Be gracious, O Lord, to our humble supplications: and graciously assist this Thine institution, which Thou hast established for the increase of mankind: that what is joined together by Thine authority, may be preserved by Thine aid." he says. "Through our Lord Jesus Christ Thy Son, Who liveth and reigneth with Thee in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end."

"O God, who by Thine own mighty power, didst make all things out of nothing: who, having set in order the beginnings of the world, didst appoint Woman to be an inseparable helpmeet to Man, made like unto God, so that Thou didst give to woman's body its beginnings in man's flesh, thereby teaching that what it pleased Thee to form from one substance, might never be lawfully separated: O God, who, by so excellent a mystery hast consecrated the union of man and wife, as to foreshadow in this nuptial bond the union of Christ with His Church: O God, by whom Woman is joined to Man, and the partnership, ordained from the beginning, is endowed with such blessing that it alone was not withdrawn either by the punishment of original sin, nor by the sentence of the flood: graciously look upon this Thy handmaid, who, about to be joined in wedlock, seeks Thy defense and protection. May it be to her a yoke of love and peace: faithful and chaste, may she be wedded in Christ, and let her ever be the imitator of holy women: let her be dear to her husband, like Rachel: wise, like Rebecca: long-lived and faithful like Sara. Let not the author of deceit work any of his evil deeds in her. May she continue, clinging to the faith and to the commandments. Bound in one union, let her shun all unlawful contact. Let her protect her weakness by the strength of discipline; let her be grave in behavior, respected for modesty, well-instructed in heavenly doctrine. Let her be fruitful in offspring; be approved and innocent; and come to the repose of the blessed and the kingdom of heaven. May they both see their children's children to the third and fourth generation, and may they reach the old age which they desire." the Cardinal says. "Through our Lord Jesus Christ Thy Son, Who liveth and reigneth with Thee in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end."

"Therefore, we humbly pray and beseech Thee, most merciful Father, through Jesus Christ Thy Son, Our Lord, to receive and to bless these gifts," says the Cardinal, making a cross again. "these presents, these holy unspotted sacrifices, which we offer up to Thee, in the first place, for Thy holy Catholic Church, that it may please Thee to grant her peace, to guard, unite, and guide her, throughout the world: as also for Thy servant Sixtus (OOC: substitute John Paul depending on whether you prefer your Popes real or NS!), our Pope, and me, O Lord, Thy humble servant, and for all your Church."

In the Imperial box, the Emperor Andreus nods approvingly at the Cardinal's substitution of "Church" for "all those of orthodox belief".

"Be mindful, O Lord, of Thy servants, Joseph and Anna, and of all here present, whose faith and devotion are known to Thee, for whom we offer, or who offer up to Thee, this sacrifice of praise, for themselves, their families, and their friends, for the salvation of their souls and the health and welfare they hope for, and who now pay their vows to Thee, God eternal, living, and true." he says.

"Wherefore, we beseech Thee, O Lord, graciously to receive this oblation which we Thy servants, and with us Thy whole family, offer up to Thee: dispose our days in Thy peace; command that we be saved from eternal damnation and numbered among the flock of Thine elect. Through Christ our Lord. Amen." the Cardinal says, raising his arms over the bread and wine on the altar. As he concludes, a bell is rung once.

"And do Thou, O God, vouchsafe in all respects to bless, consecrate, and approve this our oblation, to perfect it and render it well-pleasing to Thyself, so that it may become for us the body and blood of Thy most beloved Son, Jesus Christ our Lord." says the Cardinal, making the sign of the cross at several points.

"Who, the day before He suffered, took bread into His holy and venerable hands, and having lifted up His eyes to heaven, to Thee, God, His almighty Father, giving thanks to Thee, blessed it, broke it, and gave it to His disciples, saying: Take ye and eat ye all of this:" says the Cardinal, before taking the host and holding it up for the whole assembly to see, while the bell rings three more times. "FOR THIS IS MY BODY."

He puts down the host and removes the cover over the chalice of wine.

"In like manner, after He had supped, taking also into His holy and venerable hands this goodly chalice again giving thanks to Thee, He blessed it, and gave it to His disciples, saying: Take ye, and drink ye all of this:" the Cardinal says, before holding up the chalice as the bell rings three times again. "for this is the chalice of my blood, of the new and everlasting covenant, the mystery of faith, which for you and for many shall be shed unto the remission of sins. As often as ye shall do these things, ye shall do them in memory of Me. Behold, thus shall every man be blessed that feareth the Lord; and mayest thou see thy children's children; peace upon Israel."

The Cardinal then offers Holy Communion to Anna, who accepts. He then looks to Joseph for some sign whether he will receive communion or not - as a non-Catholic, he is not expected to do so, which isn't to say that he can't.

(OOC: Since the Church of Excalbia doesn’t teach transubstantiation, I don’t believe its communion would be recognized by the Catholic Church, so I don’t think that the Church – at least according to what I learned in Catholic school – would allow Joseph to take communion, nor for that matter would it allow Anna to take communion in a Church of Excalbia. Although the Excalbian side would allow her.)

Joseph glances up at the Cardinal, and then bows his head in respectful prayer.

(OOC 2: If communion is distributed to the entire congregation, it would be noticeable that only a handful of people from the Excalbian side would partake. I should also point out that Matthew Cardinal Walsh is in attendance – since he was still, more or less, in New Rome. Whether it would be more proper for him to be with the Excalbian delegation – where we would be seated with Presiding Bishop Gunars Purins of the Church of Excalbia – or seated at the altar as a co-officiant, I leave to you. Great job on the Mass, by the way.)

OOC: While it is true that non-Catholics shouldn't receive communion in a Catholic Church, and that Catholics shouldn't receive communion in churches without a valid sacrament of orders, it is up to the non-Catholic to indicate that they do not want to receive communion. It is certainly expected that anybody who doesn't believe in transubstantiation wouldn't ask for communion. But the offer is "to be polite" in any case. :)

IC:

Ten priests and bishops, including Cardinal Walsh and Cardinal Poitiers-Phocas, who have been standing around the altar, are handed chalices and plates of the host to distribute to the assembly. The vast majority of the Excalbian side doesn't receive communion. Cardinal Conomos, after ministering to Anna, brings the bread and wine up into the Imperial box, where the two Imperial families are seated, and the Pantocratorians all receive communion.

After Communion has finished, and after the choir has finished singing, Cardinal Conomos resumes his position. After the small army of Cardinals, Imperial confessors, bishops and priests finishes with the Communion, the other Cardinals sit, and Conomos begins to speak once more.

"We beseech Thee, almighty God, to accompany with Thy gracious favor, the institution of Thy Providence, and keep in lasting peace those whom Thou dost join in lawful union." he prays. "Through our Lord Jesus Christ Thy Son, Who liveth and reigneth with Thee in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, world without end."

The Cardinal turns to the bride and groom.

"May the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob be with you: and Himself fulfill His blessing on you: that you may see your children's children even to the third and fourth generation: and thereafter possess life everlasting, by the aid of our Lord Jesus Christ." he says, making the sign of the cross. "May almighty God, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost, bless you."

After giving his blessing, the Cardinal turns to the assembly.

"The Mass is ended, go in peace." he says.

"Thanks be to God." murmur the members of the assembly more competent in English, the Excalbian side being a good deal louder than the Pantocratorian one.

Bells ring from the church tower and the cheers of the crowd outside can be heard reverberating through the Basilica as the choir launches into song.

As the Basilica fills with music, cheers and the sound of bells, Joseph turns to Anna, lifts her veil and gives her tender kiss. Hand in hand, they turn to begin their procession out of the church.

The reception...

On the lawn in the midst of the gardens on the old city walls, next to the Julian Palace, huge banquet tables are arranged for the two Imperial families and their guests. On the balcony above and behind the lawn sits an orchestra, softly playing gentle music as the guests eat their entrées. The finest and freshest produce of the entire Empire has been used to create a banquet of exquisite quality, catering to every pallette. The army of kitchen staff employed to produce the banquet has been working non-stop in a temporarily expanded kitchen which sprawls across the basement, cellars, and free-standing buildings of assorted purposes in and around the Julian Palace, and the fruit of their labours is being thoroughly enjoyed by the guests.

In the middle of the banquet, in front of the tables of the immediate members of the two Imperial families, a troupe of dancers in garish costumes amuse the guests as they enjoy their first courses. Servers and cup-bearers rush about behind the guests so that they do not impede their view of the spectacle.

In front of the lawn on which the banquet is being held, courtiers, entertainers and children dressed as cheribs scurry about the beautiful formal garden, the centrepiece of which is a magnificent marble fountain, with one notable difference to most other marble fountains - instead of water, champagne spurts forth from the lips of the carved figures. Prince Andreus scoops up a glass full of champagne from the fountain, and hands it to a ravishing young woman dressed in a garish evening gown, before scooping up another glass for himself. The young woman is well-known as one of the prince's favourites, Madame d'Isakiosopolis.

"Tell me Madame," says the Prince as he takes the young woman's arm and leads her away from the fountain down one of the alleys of the formal garden. "What do you think of my new brother in law?"

Mme d'Isakiosopolis looks at the Prince over her glass of champagne. After a moment, she scoffs and starts giggling.

"Explain yourself, Madame!" teases the Prince with false incredulity.

"He's so boring!" she offers, sipping from her champagne as the two pass a pair of 'cherubs' chasing each other in the other direction.

"He's not that bad!" says the Prince in a jovial tone, finishing his glass of champagne before tossing the crystal into the garden thoughtlessly. "You just can't understand someone who actually reads books."

His companion picks up a child-sized gold arrow, dropped carelessly by one of the cherubim.

"I can understand you, can't I?" she teases, poking the Despot of New Constantinople with the fake arrow. Andreus laughs at the remark, and leads Madame d'Isakiosopolis around a corner. The garden ends a few steps away.

"Aren't we having our entrée?" Madame d'Isakiosopolis asks.

"I'd prefer to start with desert." Andreus replies, continuing towards the palace. His companion unhooks her arm, and walks a few steps ahead of the Prince, before turning around.

"No doubt we'll be back in time for the main. Perhaps even with plenty of time to spare." she teases.

"Why you..." Andreus replies, feigning insult, before chasing his giggling companion into the palace.

Back at the table, the Emperor Andreus leans across to his Excalbian counterpart.

"What did Your Majesties think of the ceremony?" he enquires. "Was Conomos' English up to scratch? I think it all would've been much nicer in New Rome, but all things considered, I'd like to think that our children found it to their satisfaction."

A cup-bearer refills the Emperor's champagne out of a silver jug.