NationStates Jolt Archive

I've decided that my time with the Totally Awesome Republic of Joey Lawrence has come to an end. It has been a good run, filled with laughs and tears and lessons learned. But, like they say, if you truly love someone, let them go free.

Therefore, I've decided that the first person who demonstrates to me the ability to rule over this great nation will be given the password to do with it as they wish. I will not specifically say what I am looking for, for the right person will know intuitively what is required.

Woah!

I like fish.

I will make a centrist leaning socialist nation were the people will be happy I will RP much the same as this one being a guardian of peace and helping all those in need

I will make a holiday. It will be called "National sit in the garage with the engine running and the doors shut Day"!

I'll give you cookies?

Sir, I am the right person to recieve this nation. Why you ask? I'll tell you why!

Because.... [ the following is typed entirely from memory. Hand to God. ]

I am the very model of a modern-major general
I've information vegetable animal and mineral
I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical
I'm very well aquainted too with matters mathematical
I can solve equations both simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalocus
In short in matters vegetable animal and mineral
I am the very model of a modern-major general.

I know our mythic history King Arthur's and Sir Caradocs
I answer hard acrostics I've a pretty taste for paradox
I quote in elegaics all the crimes of Heliogabalous
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous.

I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerald Dows and Zoffanes
I know the croaking chorus of the frogs of Aristophanes
I can hum a fugae of which I've heard the music's din afore
and whistle all the airs of that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic Cuneiform
and tell you every detail of Caratacus' uniform
In short in matters vegetable animal and mineral
I am the very model of a modern-major general.

In fact when I know what is meant by mamelon and ravelin
When I can tell at sight a mauser rifle from a Javelin
When such affairs as sorties and suprises I'm more wary at
and when I know precisely what is meant by Commisariat
When I know what advances have been made in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better major-general has never sat a gee.

For my military knowledge though I'm plucky and adventury
has only been brought down to the beginning of the century
But still in matters vegetable animal and mineral
I am the very model of a Moder-Major GENERAL!!

*deeply bows, exits stage right*

[and yes the above was from memory. Yes I'm that wierd that I memorized that. And yes, that is why I should get that nation.]

EDIT - Thought I should probably qualify my entry with saying that I don't RP per se. If that's what this is, then as awesome and as much of a shoe in as my entry must be, I can't take the nation.

Wow, I don't know if I can compete with that :p
I promise to bring lots of nukes into your country and enslave the population to make massive monuments to you and myself

I'm quoted in your signature....


Ps. Doesn't count because I'm not RPing and hardly posting anymore. Just needed to have my two cents.

I'm not going to give you a full length essay on why I'm THE ONE. But I am a sensible, intelligent person who would enjoy being the leader of a powerful nation - namely, yours. ;)

Oh and I make really good cupcakes.

I'll wire you five dollars.

I'll wire you five dollars.
I'll wire $5.50, and I'll give you this Metro North ticket from Grand Central to Greenwich that I have for reasons I will never fully understand.

How about you give it to this cute Canadian gal? :D

I'll wire you $5.75.

If you give it to me, being an experienced issue-answerer I can ensure that it will stay on the same track as it has been going up to now, or change it if you’d prefer. If it’s a dictatorship (too lazy to check right now) it would be interesting to consider Rping as one of those, considering that I’ve always been a democracy.

Also, I happen to be the Ruler of the Multiverse, and I COMMAND you to give it to me! Very bad things will happen to you if you don’t! Mwahahahahahaha! ;)

I love absolute power.

Forty-two!!!

I'll wire you $5.75.
I'll offer $6, the train ticket, and this stick of partially used gum!

I suggest you give it to me because I have two brothers and a mullet.

Well, first off, Joey's economy is "Imploded" (http://nstracker.retrogade.com/index.php?nation=joey+lawrence); that's never good. I dare say it's time to introduce some free markets in your puppet state. If necessary, I will change the government's economic policy to one of capitalistic greed. That's always a good economic stimulus. Secondly, your people are too free. It's time their mass orgy of liberty come to an end. They will soon know who rules them by the long, terrible arm of the law. I will demand aboslute obedience, unquestioned loyalty and profound worship from Joey's citizens as I am paraded past them in my motorcade while my theme song (http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~taierip/imperial_march.mp3) thunders from the amplifiers.

I would also note that Joey lacks any kind of a defense force, and I would have to amend that, as soon as I shock and awe their asses into line. Heck, it doesn't matter who you turn the keys over to; in case you haven't noticed, Joey's citizens, after staring down into the the barrels of our cannons, are already clamoring for our leadership. Their people are already marching in the streets waving the terrifying banner of Stewie (www.nationstates.net/lois-must-die). So you may as well surrender administration of your good colony over to yours truly.

Moreover, once I am in charge, I will alter Joey's national anthem to a highly ironic version of "There's Nothin' My Love Can't Fix for Ya Baby!" And Joey will also resign from the UN--because I already got a puppet working on the inside there. :D

who is joey lawrence?

This guy? http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005129/

You could always hand it over to BUNS (http://www.nationstates.net/77214/page=display_region/region=bobs_used_nation_sales) and let Bob worry about who gets it.