NationStates Jolt Archive

THE TOURNAMENT IS CLOSED-THOSE WHO FAIL TO COMPLY WILL BE N00KZORD

OOC: This event is being sponsored by the league of small regions:
http://s7.invisionfree.com/The_Corruption/index.php?


I'm sure many of you are familiar by now with the Battle National Animals tournament, after two contests. For those of you who are new, I will explain. To start, there have been two previous tournaments, which you should look at for some history and some guidelines. Here they are:

Battle National Animals! (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=376841)
Battle National Animals II (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=382854)

Most of the rules still apply. Keep the entrants serious. Cartoon animals are fine, but entrants like "obsidian rock" and stupid stuff like that are not appreciated. Entry information can be found in the first link for Battle National Animals. Post some with pictures this time! For now the tournament will be invite only to allow previous entrants guaranteed spots, but in a few days, I will open the tournament to new entrants. Once again there will be sixteen entry slots. I will RP the battles based on how good your animals are.
(to those of you from the last tournament who had to wait a painstakingly long time between battles, I'll try to avoid that this time, it should be easier because school is over.)

I have opened the tournament because I have sent out telegrams to all of the guaranteed spotholders. There were only five, because tragically, the champion from the first tourney, The Skull Islands, has died, along with Soleo. Therefore, there will be many open spots. Remember though, if the tournament is full, but a guaranteed spotholder shows up before the bracket is finalized, he will be inserted into the tourney at the expense of the least promising animal. But that seems like a rare situation.

Name: Pyro
Average lifespan: 37 years
Comparable shape: Emu
IQ: 104
Killing Tools: Razor Claws, Strong Kicking Legs, Fire Breath

http://img130.echo.cx/img130/4071/emu6zk.jpg

Though the last battle did not work out for the last intrepid opposum. The Dhulus Fun Time Club has located the next contender for the title.
http://www.opossumsocietyus.org/images/1_small.jpeg
Name: Floral
Species: Opposum (Female)
Age: 4 years
Weight: 5 lbs.
Height: 2' 5" from bottom to tip of nose.
Weapons:
- Ear piercing skreeching voice that causes delerium and comatose is weak willed subjects.
- Designer hand bag that is weighed down with beauty products, and small change.
- Acurate credit card throwing that causes minor scratches.
- "Shoe of Doom" Floral is a marksman with her shoes, and is capable of hitting a subject with them at fair distances.

Floral is a distressed housewife that has grown bitter over her useless husband and has determined that instead of taking a lover, she would use her years of naging experience on that deadbeat husband and turn it into a leathal weapon of conquest. and possibly making enough money to head to the spa on a more frequent basis. Short in temper, and quick to torment others till they submit to her over-zealous ego, Floral is very mean.

(Don't take this in anyway but a bit of a fun stereotype, the last one berated men. :P )

Lol I like 'em both. Dhulus and Hakopam(whurrever you are), I'll get that link for the Small Regions up right quik.

Lol I like 'em both. Dhulus and Hakopam(whurrever you are), I'll get that link for the Small Regions up right quik.

Hah. And that is why you are my favorite person to start threads. :D

Good luck on this run. The last one was great.

Cool, we're an official sponsor now :p

I entered in the last battle national animals, is there another open space for me to register in this one still?

Hullo again.

Let's see if I can tweak this to clarify its appearance...


Name: Integumentum hylaus "Glass bottle beetle"
Average Lifespan: 5 to 7 years
Description: Often mistaken for a glass bottle. This mutant strain of mimic beetle has evolved from life near silicon deposits, and has a glass-like carapace.
Diet: Comsumes minerals, with a preference towards silicon.
Defensive Capabilities: Hardened glass-like mineral shell, Powerful mandibles protruding from 'bottle neck' are used for rock crushing to obtain vital elements and compounds, rock dissolving acid sprayed onto paticularly hard rocks.
Special notes: Stomach contains extremely potent acid, which it uses to digest said minerals. Mandibles withdraw into "bottle" when not in use. Shell primarily made up of Carbon and Silicon. Has been known to attempt to consume shiny objects.
Height: 7-10cm
Weight: 500g-1kg
Length: 30-40cm
Senses: Touch (senses vibrations in ground and air) and sight (mineral finding)

The Glass bottle beetle was first discovered when an unfortunate environmental activist attempted to pick it up, presumably believing the beetle was another lump of rubbish. The shocked activist dropped the beetle, and was later found with one leg. As the beetles became better known, their shells were prized for their brilliant sheen. Fortunately for their survival, it was soon found that once dead, their shells soon lost their lustre. From there, an industry was formed around the care and breeding of said beetle, which has since taken a place in most households.

Other than the changes, it's pretty much what I had before.

Kazikamimoto, and any others who are wondering, post your animals as long as the top line on the first page says "THE TOURNAMENT IS OPEN"

I will definetly have to procure a picture for this one. Will update soon.

Animal: Godzillasaur
Namer: Ziller
Image of adult Godzillasaur: Godzillasaur (http://www.tohokingdom.com/web_pages/kajiu_bios/images/godzillasaurus.htm)
Image of Ziller:Ziller (http://www.tohokingdom.com/web_pages/kajiu_bios/images/baby_godzilla.htm)
Height: 1.64 meters
Length: 3.53 meters
Mass: 420 kilograms
Age: 3 Years(Is very young)
Threat Level: Not very threatening. Won't attack unless attacked.
Strength: Weak
Why so young?: If we get them fighting now, we can breed war Godzillasaurs.
NEW! ODD OCCURANCE: During training, Ziller's eyes began to glow red. Then a lot of adult Godzillasaurs started to assault the training area before being restrained.

The Nieder Ostlandish National animal!
The Bavarian eagle
Lifespan: 15 - 30 years

Size: Wing span: 5 - 7 meters (16 - 22 feet)

Weight: 10 - 15 kg (22 - 33 lbs)

Intelligence: Quite high (For an animal that is. Don't expect it to give you any good answers if you ask it about the meaning of life. Actually, don't expect any answer, unless you speak eagleish)

Speed: 100 km/h (62 mp/h) in normal flight. Diving speeds can reach up to 200 km/h (124 mp/h)

Strength.
Attacks. It likes to dive from high altitude and either carry the victim up high, and drop it on the ground (preferebly a hard surface) or simply breaks the neck of the victim, with its claws. If it's a large creature, it tends to try to make it blind first, by picking and scratching the eyes (of the victim)
Also, it is a pretty fast animal, and it knows how to use its speed.

Weaknesses: Have a tendency to avoid bigger animals (If not really hungry). And since it is a proud animal, it only eats animals it have killed itself. (Thou, if really hungry, it will attack most anyhting that moves, or that the eagle believs will move anytime soon)
And the eagle in the competition (Helga) is goinf to be quite hungry.

[edit] Forgot this

Defence. Speed. It is fast, and agile.

I like them all. Good work!!!1!

The Sanrio Kitten

http://members.cox.net/troykpics/kt_family.jpg

Size: About knee-high to your average human.

Lifespan: About the same as your average human.

Comparable Shape: A "superdeformed" bipedal cat.

IQ: Very high.

Attacks: Invites opponents to tea parties with homemade cake and ice cream, and regales them with humorous variations on popular fairy tales until they reconsider their lives.

Defenses: Extremely charming and polite.

Strengths: As an avatar of the Eternal Kawaii, is believed to be "in tune" with the natural force derived from the beauty of its surroundings and can call upon that strength to reinforce its powers of persuasion.

Weaknesses: Dislikes vulgar or obscene behavior.

Sanrio?! I really look forward to Hello Kitty in a fight.

That's seven. Still 9 spots left!!!1!

Name:The Homeless madman
Average Lifespan:Varies depending on drug dependacy and police brutality level
Comparable to:The guys you always see under the overpass
IQ:Varies(from 47 to 387)
Other facts:These creature's natural habitat is mostly near the dense urban centers, where they live under overpasses, under foot bridges, and on sidewalks. They feed on the sympathy of passers by, who provide them with the spare change necessary to feed themselves. They sometimes have addictions to drugs such as alchohol, cocaine, and other hallucenogens. They are sometimes extremly insightfull, sometimes completly incoherent and indiscriminatly violent.

Killing tools and such: These creatures have a wide array of defensice mechanisms. They are skilled in the art of fistycuffs, but are also masters of the "flail in a drunken stupper" fighting style, which is much more effective than it sounds. The also have been know to use tools when engaged in combat, among them broken bottles with which to stab their aggressor, or shred in their face once subdued. Many of them have pieces of pipe, hammers, pieces of industrial chain, and some even knives. A Homeless madman may seem docile, larthargic and non-violent, but when aroused or angered, they are a force to be feared.


I love this game.

I would like to enter my national animal, if there's still room

Name: Kitsune
Average Lifespan: From a few hundred years to as long as a century
Comparable to: An elf mixed with a fox
Size: About the size of a tall man, (6-7 feet)
Weight: Averages around 40 pounds for a full grown adult, a major factor in their speed
Speed: On ground, running, they can get up to 70 mph, and can jump very high without a running start at speeds up to 40 mph. The rest depends on circumstances and the individual kitsune.
IQ: Are usually quite intelligent, although sometimes they make rash decisions (250-400, a rare height)
Attacks: Martial arts attacking, and if they can concentrate for long enough, they can summon small powers of nature. They are peaceful creatures in the sense that they do not use weapons and try to have an honurable fight if their opponent will. They can also use claws and teeth if needed.
Defenses: Speed and blocks.
Strengths: Very agile, although its strength is limited to that of a well trained human. Hearing and sight are acute. Is in tune with nature and its surroundings.
Weaknesses: If pinned down, it has a hard time defending itself. If it gets too excited, it can't concentrate and loses focus.

EDIT: oh, and for a general idea of what it looks like, please look at pictures of kitsune on Magic: The Gathering cards or search it in google.

I'd like to enter my animal, if I can.

Name: Liger
Lifespan: Less than 25 years
Breeding: cross between a male lion and a female tiger
Size: 12 feet tall on hind legs
Weight: Can weigh up to half a ton
Intelligence: high
Weapons: Powerful claws, sharp teeth
Other: Bred for its skills in magic

Assuming there is still room:

Name: Dr. Bristlenose
Species: Fish - Bristlenose Catfish
Lifespan: 3 years
Weight: 50 grams.
Height: 8 cm
IQ: 50 max (well what do you expect in a brain of an 8cm long fish?)

Weapons:
- Uzi submachine gun
- painful spikes behind fins
- Tail that flaps (not pictured)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v219/time_lapse/2.jpg

Edit: I feel so small... I have my 8cm fish, and then there is Uber Godzillasaur... ohwell.. he won't see me i suppose...

Thanks, Maniaca. By the way - I am myself. Does this help in identifying me? Good. :) Thanks for honouring you deal - I'm sure the League will provide good quality entertainment with our adverts :D.

NAME: CAT
SPECIES: CAT
AGE: 15 YEARS OLD
WEIGHT: 15 KG
HEIGHT: 1,5 M
POWERS: Highly intelligent and with access to mild magical ability, the CAT is able to transform small quantities of matter into what he sees fit. He also has claws and sharp fangs, for when magic isn't an option. He is also highly flexible and can run very fast.

The CAT lives in Hakopam's lush forests, hopping around and having fun. He uses his powers to hunt various prey, from mice to small reptiles, to everything that moves and is edible. CATs got their fantastical abilities from their patron-goddess, Bast, who lives in a castle in the stars. When not hunting, CATs spend their time either saving damsels in distress or fighting dragons. They also like a good game of bowling every now and then.

NOTE: This is an evolved version of my last entry. :cool:

PS: With lots of exams and stuff , I won't be able to post here very often, but I'll do my best to drop by and see what's happening. :P

Hey, Hakopam, Alexias, good job comin back.

Oh man, those are some crazy ones. Liger, is good, Dr. Bristlenose is hilarious. All those other boring :) animals are entered as well. So that makes.....TWELVE??!!?

OH NOES!!!!1

That means only four more spots are left! Hurry!

NAME: Sharcodile
WHAT: Half shark, half crocodile, all dangerous
LIFESPAN: This one is 13 years, but the average lifespan is 22 years.
GENDER: The more dangerous female, as it has to protect its young
WEIGHT: 950 lbs.
WEAPONS: 1) Razor sharp teeth with a 1,000 psi bite force
2) Powerful 200 lb tail capable of moving 45 mph
3) The fastest reflexes of any aquatic animal
4) Armor-like scales capable of withstanding a steak knife
5) Poisonous spines on all fins, plus the tail
6) Ink cloud that blinds attacker

Good enough for ya?

Name: Dodo Bird
What: Big, flightless Bird, extinct
Lifespan: Nonexistant-extinct
Gender: Dead (Eunuch, as the parts have long since rotted away)
Weight: 20 pounds, more or less
Height: 17 inches
IQ: None. Whaddya expect from something that has been dead for 300 years? Still, it can be possesed, giving it an intelligence that can vary from 70 to 120
Speed: 20 MPH, with short bursts of up to 35 (using the wing bones as an extra pair of legs)
Powers:
1.)Extinct- is dead. May not be killed any further as a result, and keeps coming back up to get you. Very hard to get rid of as a result
2.)Beak- Peck, peck. This thing still works, at least. Big and heavy for a beak, it can actually hurt.
3.) Wings. May try to fly, with no success. As it couldnt fly while alive, it certainly cant now. May use them as extra legs, or smack an enemy upside the head with them, as it sees fit.
4.)Petrified bones: The bones are all it has left, and they are pretty damn tough.

The dodo bird was the sole animal left in Lankaria, when it was driven to extinction by bloodloss and lead poisoning. They were then declared a race of martyrs, and became the national animal. And occasionally, people still seem them wandering around... parts of them, anyways.

http://www.amnh.org/exhibitions/expeditions/treasure_fossil/Treasures/Dodo/dodo.gif

Sorry, Maniaca. That wasn't the full edition. That was sign-off-right-now-or-your-grounded-damn-it. HERE'S the full length animal.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
NAME: Watery Grave
BREED: Sharcodile
WHAT: Half shark, half crocodile, all dangerous
LIFESPAN: This one is 14 years, but the average lifespan is 27 years.
GENDER: The more dangerous female, as it has to protect its young
WEIGHT: 950 lbs.
SIZE: Almost 13 feet long
LAND SPEED: It can clock 15 mph
WATER SPEED: How fast is 87 mph under water? Think race car on land
IQ: The human comparison is 240
WEAPONS: 1) Razor sharp teeth with a 1,000 psi bite force
2) Powerful 200 lb tail capable of moving 45 mph
3) The fastest reflexes of any aquatic animal
4) Armor-like scales capable of withstanding a steak knife
5) Poisonous spines on all fins, plus the tail
6) Need be, these spines become projectiles
7) Ink cloud that blinds attacker for several minutes
OTHER: The female will always be aggresive, as its young are always by her side until 1 year. Watery Grave's young are 4 months old. What does this mean for the attacker? Touch her kids and you'll see how fast her reflexes are. In a mortal sort of way. Also, factor in she has an incredible strength recovery time. Give her 3 minutes, and it's like she's starting over.

Sorry, one last thing... it can survive out of water. The longest recorded was Watery here, with 7 years!

That's 14, (although, I must say, if someone posts an extra animal that seems well-written, I think I'll have to take it over dodo bird....the mood I'm getting from your post is that it's already dead, and can't fight) so two more animals will be admitted. The tension is unbearable.

Cool, can my animal enter?

Name: Narwhal
What: Big dolphin with a unicron tusk
Gender: Male since he has a tusk
Lifespan: 30-40 years
Length: 5 meter, not counting a 3 m tusk :)
Weight: 1,8 tons
IQ: Like dolphin, narwhals are smart: 120
Powers:
1.)Unicorn tusk, ready for jousting. Razersharp of course.
2.)Immunity to cold because they live in the arctic ocean. And a thick skin for the same reason.
3.)Able to dive up to 20 minutes.
4.)Narwhals create a sort of vacuum and suck up their food. Obviously they can suck up opponents as well.
Picture:http://www.worldlandtrust.org/images/paintings/narwhal.jpg

Oh no... Its rather an animated corpse. A bit like the undead version of a cockroach, you know? You just cant get rid of it.... And it keeps coming back for more. And being dead, it cant feel pain or anything.

It is impossible to "kill"

It is, however, possible to neuterelize, though this is not very easy. Swallowing it is not an option (why? Think like the story of jonah, only with a drill and some gory bits). Stapleing the individual bones to the floor may work, however. Or something that keeps it from coming after you.

Alright, I hope you still have space for the national animal of Airstrophia.

http://img291.echo.cx/img291/1874/myanimallayer31qu.jpg

Name: Happy the hipponicsiphovour
Breed: hipponicsiphovour
What: refer to picture
Lifespan: On its natrual plannet (spunkaplu) they could live up to 7 million years, but an earth year is equal to 1 million spunkaplu years.
Gender: has no sexuality, if a limb is cut from the hipponicsiphovour a new one will sprout from the limb. (an advantage in battle)
Weight: 23.7 tons
Hight: 7 storys high
Land speed: slow as hell
Water speed: slightly faster than hell, but not by much
------> NOTE although it is verry slow has huge strides and can travel two miles in 1.8 minnutes on land and two miles in 1.5 minnutes in water.
IQ: 3
Attacks:
1.) Tidle Wave- does cannon-ball into near-by water source
2.) head bang- falls over and smashes enemy with its head
3.) tantrum- Just goes insane and trys to attack anything. Wont listen to reason. This attack is often in result to said "bath time".
4.) eat- tries to eat you.
Other: Is playfull and can often cause mass distruction by playing its favorite game, "city attack". Is generaly nice to fimiliar people.

Hey y'all.
I have a question for everyone. You see, believe it or not, I've actually ran things like this before, and I would like to create my own BNA, if that's alright with Maniaca and all of you. I feel I could do this because:

1) I've done things like this before
2) I have WAY too much free time (I've been online 42 hours in 30 days)
3) I would be dedicated to create a 32, even a 64 bracket, and
4) I would CONSIDER having 2 divisions; a regular league and (can he be serious!?!) an UBER league.

So, I just thought I'd ask. I realize I could just do it and you couldn't do anything to stop me, but I figured I'd give everyone a heads-up. If you REALLY didn't want me to, I probably wouldn't. So what do you say, guys?

Hey y'all.
I have a question for everyone. You see, believe it or not, I've actually ran things like this before, and I would like to create my own BNA, if that's alright with Maniaca and all of you. I feel I could do this because:

1) I've done things like this before
2) I have WAY too much free time (I've been online 42 hours in 30 days)
3) I would be dedicated to create a 32, even a 64 bracket, and
4) I would CONSIDER having 2 divisions; a regular league and (can he be serious!?!) an UBER league.

So, I just thought I'd ask. I realize I could just do it and you couldn't do anything to stop me, but I figured I'd give everyone a heads-up. If you REALLY didn't want me to, I probably wouldn't. So what do you say, guys?

It's VERY bad form to do exactly the same thing as someone else at the same time. Very bad form indeed.

Second, you've "done things like this before"? With 4 posts? Did it last 3 posts or something?

4 things:

1) Thank you for being honest
2) There are other websites than this that I go (and went) to
3) I wouldn't dream of doing it at the same time as his (that's just not right), unless people want it that way, in which case I still wouldn't do it
4) I wouldn't copy him exactly, as this would also be very wrong

Thanks for replying, though. It's people like you I was afraid I'd piss off if I had done it anyway.

Alright, I hope you still have space for the national animal of Airstrophia.

[SNIP]

I can't take it if it's seven stories tall. Sorry. Modify it in the next day or two, or I can't help you.

Hanc, I have to say, I like the Narwahl. Should be interesting.

So that's fifteen! *unless Airstrophia fixes his* One spot left! One! Hurry!

Now! Now!Now!

Hurry! Post! You will have a chance at glory and cash! cash!cash!

Name: Puppy/Kitten Eating Sewer Rat
Average Lifespan: 2-3 Years if no puppies can be found. Possibly infinite if they infest near a god like kennal.
Comparable: Well its a giant black rat... you get the idea
Size- A rugby ball unfed, but there have been reports of ones the size of cars if they stumble on to an old lady's house.
Weight- 8-10 Pounds plus the weight of whatever small cute animal they have eaten.
IQ: Dumb as shit, but instincts often carry it through.
General Powers:
1: Consume Small Animal- This vile animal can eat pretty much anything that is small. Now normally the only advantage to eating something is quenching ones hunger. Well this rat gets something else out of it. It can regenerate wounds based off of how cute the animal consumed is. For example a rabies infested mutt would do little for this beast, but a pampered new born kitten would possibly heal all wounds. In addition to this for every animal it eats if gains a size category for the battle.

2: Gross- This filthy beast is covered in grime and stinks to high heaven. Touching it takes a great deal of will power.

Category Small Powers:
1: Sharp Bite- Its a sharp bite at the ankle area... not much else
2: Call Brethren- Where there is one rat, there are always more. When this ability is used the rat beckons forth three ordinary rats which will follow its every command.
3: Smaller than you think- Rats and mice have specially built skelatons that allow them to fit through very small spaces. This bad boy is not exception.

Category Abnormally Large Powers:
1. Sharp Bite- Like before, but at the knee or possible groin level
2: Call brethren- As before, but 10 rats.
3: Bulls Charge- This beast has gained enough size that it could charge an knock over a human sized animal, but anything larger than that and it is unlikely.
4: The horror- How many times to you see a rat that is 3 feet tall at the shoulders, pretty frightening. This rat can spook most things.

Category Holy Crap it ate a car:
1. Rending Bite- Causes massive bleeding and probably a terrible infection.
2. Call Brethren- As before, but 20 rats.
3. Lazy roll- This Animal is now the size of a car. It can roll on to most human size opponents and leave the rest to the ticks on its body.
4. Tail of Doom- Not as impressive as it sounds, just a strangling attack with its long terrible tail.

Categoy Rat God:
Needs to eat something incredibly cute to achieve this, I mean really really really cute.
1. Swallow Whole- This beast can swallow a man sized opponent whole, or take a massive chunk out of anything larger.
2. Summon the hordes- Like call brethren, but it brings forth hundreds of rats including other Kitten/Puppy Eating Sewer Rats.
3. Crush Like Bug- Well you are the bug, get it?
4. Explosive Feces- They are sorta like mines, but if it had something bad to eat, more along the lines of a flame thrower.
5. Python- Like tail of doom, except a rat head has grown on the back of the tail and can perform category abnormally large powers independent of the rat god.
6. Horrific- This is a scary ass site, must be very brave to stand your ground.

Tactics: Its a rat, dont expect anything too extreme.

The Malkemendrian Hawk
Description:Hawk with smooth wings and has an above average intelligence level.
Size: about 10ft. wingspan and about 7ft long(from head to tail) and 2.5ft wide.
Equipment:Steel claws, Sharp Wings, and a chain mail armour.
Abilities:Screech that stuns enemy, Swift claw Grab, and Encircleing the enemy and cutting them with its wings.
Weakness: Fire, and Scaly creatures.

HEy is it okay if we can have 17 animals it would be very nice of you.

If the Seven stories tall one fixes hers can we then do it with 18?

By the way, guys you can stop busting my ass now.
Me and Maniaca talked it out, and what would happen is I would probably take over for BNA IV if he was too swamped to do it (or if he wanted to enter for once). It's not official yet, but it looks promising, so stop telling me I suck through TG's. I might not even do anything, for God's sake.

so, when can we start, I am eager to See Dr. Bristlenose kick some serious Uber creature arse...

Dr. Bristlenose is waiting...
http://www.upei.ca/~seeler/Bristlenose_large.jpg

yes. i wanna see how my bavarian eagle is gonna trash the enemy! (and she doesnt even have a firey breath or any magical powers like that! But she kicks ass! (Or rather scratches and picks ass! )

If the Seven stories tall one fixes hers can we then do it with 18?

It turns out I counted wrong, so you would be the sixteenth. Or Rivonia deleted his animal from the competition on the first page. So you get to compete...unless I counted wrong again....in which case I'm terrible sorry.

Puppy/Kitten Eating Sewer Rat....I like it. I like how you broke down the powers too. Rat God lol. I can't write out "puppy/kitten eating sewer rat" every time during the battle, so I've given him a name. Oh no, I won't tell you now. But I'll incorporate it IC of course. You will be very surprised.... :mp5:

Okay, Today nothing will happen. It will be what I call a "grace day" for the rest of the guaranteed nations to stake a claim. If they don't do it today, the tournament will close. Right now it is closed to all entries except guaranteed entries. If a guaranteed nation does show up,(which at this point I highly doubt) I will have to boot a bad animal. Most likely Godzillasaur. No offense, but it seems too uber to compete in the first place, but I'm gonna let it slide 'cause I think you wanted to join the last one but couldn't. So the entrants so far are:

Pyro (Obscure Nation)
Floral the Oppossum (Dhulus)
Glass Bottle Beetle (Hakurabi)
Ziller the Godzillasaur (Tomzilla)
Bavarian Eagle (Nieder Ostland)
Sanrio Kitten (The Eternal Kawaii)
The Homeless Madman (Alexias)
Kitsune (Ellesmere Isle)
Liger (Oirectine)
Dr. Bristlenose (Lapse)
Cat (Hakopam)
Sharcodile (Gondeau)
Dodo Bird (Lankaria)
Narwahl (Hanc)
Puppy/Kitten Eating Sewer Rat (The Infinite Crucible)
Malkemendrian Hawk (Malkemen)

Alright, now this is serious....if I forgot your animal, let me know, so it gets in the competition, because that list right there(barring someone guaranteed showing up) is what I'll use to create the tournament tree. Good luck.

I will have to boot a bad animal. Most likely Godzillasaur. No offense, but it seems too uber to compete in the first place, but I'm gonna let it slide 'cause I think you wanted to join the last one but couldn't.

I could change some stats, make him dumb, make him sleep a lot, stuff like that.

Hanc, I have to say, I like the Narwahl. Should be interesting.


Thanks, I can't wait to see how it (and the others) will do. But it's a narwhal, not a narwahl ;)
http://home.merlin.mb.ca/~wwood/arctic/narwhal1.gif

I could change some stats, make him dumb, make him sleep a lot, stuff like that.

If you want, right now it's not necessary, I sincerely doubt anyone will show up to take your spot.

Hanc, my apologies, lol.

My animal has been serverly edited. Not really uber now. I think it is on average with the other animals.

Actually, can you remove the liger? I won't be around for a week, going to Bermuda. Sorry about that, thought it would start sooner.

Actually, can you remove the liger? I won't be around for a week, going to Bermuda. Sorry about that, thought it would start sooner.

You don't have to be here, I do the battles and pick the winners, so when you come back you can see if you won or not. The tournament will probably last more than a week so if you win you'll be here. Have a good time, and don't get kidnapped. Wait, that's Aruba not Bermuda. So never mind.

Floral is at home now prepairing for the big day:

Floral shouts while tossing the J-Mart special china plates at her husband who's watching NASCAR finals at Darlington. "How could you spend 80 dollars on that remote controlled vacuum cleaner?!" :: Toss... crash!::

The trainer, standing behind her handing her plates from the cabinet adds in a little encouragement, "Tell him about how he doesn't buy you flowers any more."

Floral adds in, "... And what about roses?! I haven't seen one in over a year!" :: Toss... crash!::

Trainer boosts Florals moral, "Common, give me the speach! Give me an angry face! Good, good, not lets get to the arena to kick some unloving butt!!!"

Floral then fumes loudly talking about going back to live with mother, grabs her purse, and heads for the door.

On to the arena, preped and ready to go!!!!!

A large shipping container, accompanied by a host of otaku, arrived at the arena. The robed priests of The Eternal Kawaii milled about fretfully, cleaning up the local grounds to prepare them for their holy animals' entry. One looked through a slot into the container.

The family of Sanrio kittens inside were up to their usual business--throwing yet another dinner party--seemingly without a care for what was transpiring outside.

Well, at least they're playing Twister, the otaku thought to himself.

I would have started the tournament today, but I went to a ballgame and I don't know if Alexias has fixed hhiers animal yet. I'll have to check. In the meantime, bet.

If I had money to burn. I would say Hello Kitty all the way.

Hey y'all.
I have a question for everyone. You see, believe it or not, I've actually ran things like this before, and I would like to create my own BNA, if that's alright with Maniaca and all of you. I feel I could do this because:

1) I've done things like this before
2) I have WAY too much free time (I've been online 42 hours in 30 days)
3) I would be dedicated to create a 32, even a 64 bracket, and
4) I would CONSIDER having 2 divisions; a regular league and (can he be serious!?!) an UBER league.

So, I just thought I'd ask. I realize I could just do it and you couldn't do anything to stop me, but I figured I'd give everyone a heads-up. If you REALLY didn't want me to, I probably wouldn't. So what do you say, guys?

I would like to see this, because this is the second one I've missed the cutoff time and the Dubyachimp is raring for a fight. Don't make him invade Iran! :D

While many of the other contestants were busy preparing their animals for the battle that soon awaited, little did they know that many feet below them their downfall was... well... not doing too much.

The enormous fiendish rat slowly muled through a pile of trash, its long rancid tongue probing the steaming heap... There was nothing for this beast to eat, while most rats would have found this to be irresitable... no this rat had a finer taste.

Small cute animals! That would have to await for the battles however. So it continued to crunch away, not content until something small and cute was in its mouth.

Official Message to All Other Competitors

My R@T W1LL PWN JU!!!!!!

End Official Message

We now take you to live footage from the Hakurabi containment facility.

"SEDATE IT! SEDATE IT NOW!"

"GAH! CAN'T GET CLOS-"

"RUN!"

"EEEARG-"

Here come the Magna-tanks.

"Engage the electromagnets!"

"They're eating through the magnets, Sir!"

From a distance, you can see the containment facility rocking as the beetles began to undermine the foundations.

It was probably a bad idea to make the facility out of reinforced concrete.

Who would've known they could detect the steel?

Not to worry, Glass Bottle Beetle retrieval teams are on their way.

...

Oops.

Looks like they might need a few more.

We'll be back shortly.

Dr. Bristlenose is Waiting:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v219/time_lapse/DrBristlenose.jpg

Tomzillian Training Center

"Come on, you stupid baby, attack the piece of meat, attack it! Don't run away from it! Attack! And-SHIT! It's eyes are glowing red again! He's calling in reinforcements! Get the place on lock-down! Tranq. units, take him out!"

OOC: Odd occurance noted, eyes turn red when afraid. Seems to call in reinforcements telepathically...

Alright listen up. Alexias has been inactive for six days, so I don't know what's up. What'll happen is, we'll put Alexias' fight last, and if it turns out hhiemr doesn't change up, whoever is facing Alexias will get a free first round bye.

Enough of talking like Alexias won't eventually show up and read this thread.

So let's get started. I'll assign a number to each entrant, put them through the randomizer, and that'll put the bracket together:
----------------------------------------------
Dodo Bird
Bavarian Eagle

Liger
Puppy/Kitten Eating Sewer Rat

Sanrio Kitten
Malkemendrian Hawk

Dr. Bristlenose
Glass Bottle Beetle
----------------------------------------------
Cat
Narwhal

Floral the Oppossum
Kitsune

Pyro
Sharcodile

The Homeless Madman
Ziller the Godzillasaur



So there's the bracket. Results from Randomizer.org. I might do the first battle, heck, tonight even. But don't count on it. The guys from last time know how I am with promises. :p

well, atleast I dont have to fight an uberised uber big creature first....

Hehe... The critter mine is up agaisnt only eats animals it kills itself... And my critter is already dead..... (technically)

Bets in Tomzilla have it 10-1 Ziller, 3-1 Homeless Madman.

OOC: You did see my major changes so my animal wouldn't be so uber, right?

Why yes, of course I did....*looks back, checks changes*....yes, of course I did.


No really, I saw them, just wasn't bothered to reply. :p

Hehe... The critter mine is up agaisnt only eats animals it kills itself... And my critter is already dead..... (technically)


Not if it's hungry! :) (And Helga (My basvarian eagle) Is hungry! :p

If I had money to burn. I would say Hello Kitty all the way.

We thank you for that vote of support. :) Now to find out if Malkemendrian Hawks like cake and ice cream...

*hopes uzi will shatter glass*

OOC: I'll try tomorrow.

It's *not* glass. It's a glass-like mineral composite.

Shell primarily made up of Carbon and Silicon

It's *not* glass. It's a glass-like mineral composite.
fine then :P
I hope the uzi will destroy 'glass-like material'
lol..

*Waits very loudly at Maniaca*

*Waits very loudly at Maniaca*

*yawn*....what? I can't here you man....*yawn*

Alright, seriously this time, I'll try tomorrow, although that's probably the worst day to do it...which means I'll defnitely get it done, because historically, that's when I do it....weird.

Murpheys Law...

THE CROCODILE HUNTER
==========================================================
'Ello there. Steve Irwin here, an' I'm about to go deep into the Amazon Rainforest today, where it's been rumored there's been a new breed of croc seen by a native. Well then, we're off to Brazil!

* * * * * * * * *

Well, we've arrived in Brazil, an' I've just spotted a Black Mambo in that tree there. I'm gonna see if I can get it agitated so I can catch it as it runs from me. Unless it attacks, in which case I'll go for it faster! And... yep, there she goes, rearin' here head at me. What a beautiful snake, though they get a bad rap all the time, as they're one of the most poisonous snakes in all the world! Now remember, kids at home, I've been trained for years to piss off animals an' capture 'em so I can pretend I've done something with me life. If you see a croc or snake in your backyard, try an' pick it up before it attacks you. Then, you can tell everyone you're just like me! An.., WOAHH!! It got right in me face an' spit it's venom on me neck! Come here, ya lil' scamp... *snake fights, captured* ... Wooooh! Lucky he didn' get me in me face, or I'd be droppin' dead now. See it's coloration there? On it's belly? It's dark purpleish, so I know it's a female. The males tend to be larger, an' have jet black skin. See how the scale makes a beautiful coloration in the sun, there? Gorgeous. Well, I'd best get on with me trek for this new species.

* * * * * * * * *

Well, I've been searchin' all day, an' it's abou' night time, which is when this species was supposedly seen. We've reached the place where the creature was seen abou' an hour ago, and all I've found were some large bones an' what looked like some spots of fresh blood. Look at these bones... they're huge! Almost human like, an'... *smells bone* ... it smells horrid. This is a fresh kill, so now that it's full, we should try an' find it.

* * * * * * * * *

Alrigh', it's almost midnight, an' I've searched this whole lagoon, but all i've found was this old, abandoned factory next to the lagoon. It was all locked up, but they're were movin' cameras there, so I best stay away from there so as to not disrupt the natives. Well, I'm just abou' done with the search, so next time on... Wait! Hold on a minute! See? There, in the clearing under the brush! It's a baby croc's tail. I'm gonna see if I can get it, now. Come on, then! ... *wrestles the baby, catches it, holds it up* ... Holy cow! 'Ave a look at this! It's head is shaped like a shark, but the tail belongs to a croc! I think we've found this new species, an'... wait... Oh, crickey! The baby's mum's come out, now, lookin' for her pup, an'... yes, she's spotted me, with her baby. This pup's makin' some mighty noise... *starts to swing pup* ... but maybe if I shake her baby, I can piss her off enough to.. AAGHHHH!!!!! *goes under, water reddens* ... WHAT THE BLOODY F*** IS THI... *goes under, never comes up*

* * * * * * * * *


GONDARA RESEARCH FACILITY, BRAZIL
==========================================================
How did the test go, number 12?
The test was a success, sir. That imbecile actually foll...
As I am the leader, I am the ONLY one who can refer to ANYONE as an IMBECILE! YOU DO NOT POSESS THE BRAINS TO CALL SOMEONE ELSE DUMB!!
Yes, sir... sorry, sir... you're right, sir... anyway, that ... fellow... actually believed the story about the new species, and came to our facility.
And...
He was brutally destroyed, sir. The only analogy thought of was a frog in a blender, sir, and...
Well, maybe I should *looks to his board members* start looking for less inept advisors, 3,4, and 5...
We were just saying, sir, that he was destroyed tho...
I can see that, 4, as the water is red and looks like meat jelly... *sigh* ... it seems I'll have to spend even more money on this project...
Why's that?
... because you've upset me FOR THE LAST TIME!! *slams button, 3,4, and 5 are gone into the lagoon, destroyed easily*
Well, 12, does the test subject seem ready?
I believe so, sir. It's stats are more than even you've hoped for...
I'LL be the judge of that *swipes clipboard, scans page* BWAHAHAHAHA!! For once, you are right... the Battle shall be easily won, and there is no one that can stop me...

==========================================================

How'd you all like the story? It took me, like, 2 hours to make!
And hey, if I don't win the tourney, I'll at least win the best intro award (if there was one...)

*snip*
How'd you all like the story? It took me, like, 2 hours to make!
And hey, if I don't win the tourney, I'll atleast win the best intro award (if there was one...)


lol.

Hey I was halfway through the first battle, but meinem older brother came and muscled me off the computer and closed the post window, rendering it moot. Now the feeling's gone, and I have to wait till tomorrow. Sorry bout that. At the time, it was about a tie, I was in the middle of a sentence where the dodo bird was about to take the lead...of course, that doesn't mean anything, considering it's a game where a dragon with a knife stuck in it's snout and hide can hurl a hobo through cinder-block walls onto a highway.

How'd you all like the story? It took me, like, 2 hours to make!
And hey, if I don't win the tourney, I'll at least win the best intro award (if there was one...)
ooh, do i get dodgiest photoshop job award :D

Hey, Maniaca. Feel like doin' one tonight? I know we're all anxiously awaiting the first battle. I mean, for only 74 posts, we have over

1,070

Views!!! I doubt most of those are just people dropping by to check things out. These are loyal fans and competitors who want to see a fight! CAN YOU DELIVER!?!

Just being bored, tryin' out new things...
Spoilers are fun!

This list starts with a 1
The list ends with a 2


This list starts with an A
This list ends in a C
<---Here it is


I'm actually typing the code! YEA ME!!

Glad ya postponed the fight.. coz the flight with the Helga fan club arrived today..
So, she will have a lot of support during her fights! :) (and if she looses, well.. bbq:d eagle aint too bad.. tastes like chicken! -lol-)

Gondeau: I suspect that most of the 1,070 views are just us impatiently awaiting the first fight of BNA3.

OOC: Views should be spelled vus.

IC: Hey, everybody, I'm the ring announcer and welcome to the first fight of the Battle National Animals III tournament. It's between the Bavarian Eagle and the Dodo Bird. Let's go ringside!

The Eagle begins by flying up high into the rafters. The Dodo Bird strains to keep his eyes on the eagle. The Eagle has emerged from the shadows, in a full-on nosedive! The Eagle nears the Dodo Bird, good contact would give the Eagle an extreme advantage for the rest of the fight. She's closer! The Dodo bird dives forward, low to the canvas....the Eagle can't adjust! She is forced to pull up, and immediately heads back up into the rafters. The Dodo Bird recovers, and returns to fighting stance. He, however, can't have any idea where the Eagle is right now. The Eagle once again appears, diving once again, this time with her talons forward! She reaches out with her claws, trying to grasp the Dodo Bird's neck! The Dodo Bird drops to his back, and kicks his skeletal legs in the air, striking the Eagle's breast! The Eagle flies into the ropes, back first, and drops to the canvas. The Dodo Bird scurries over, and begins pecking at the Eagles feathers. The Eagle, clearly not happy, swings out with a wing and smacks the Dodo Bird upside the skull, then follows with the opposite wing! The Eagle now lifts off, and flaps to maintain height a foot above the canvas. She reaches down with her talons, and grabs the Dodo Bird's head in one, and neck in the other, and spins it's head around 360 degrees! She flies up almost to the rafters and drops the Dodo Bird, leaving it's skeleton in a crumpled heap! The dodo bird, clearly dazed and confused, manages to rise to its feet, but is now simply running around in circles on the mat! Now this is strange...The Dodo bird has removed one of its own ribs, and is holding it in its mouth like a dog! The Eagle has come in for a closer look...The dodo bird spins around, hurls the rib, and hits the eagle in the head with the bone! The Eagle is now very upset. She flies quickly up to the ceiling and is coming down vertically, beak first, aiming straight for the Dodo Bird! The Dodo Bird is dumbly looking straight up at the Eagle, standing in one place! Clearly the lights are on, but no one is home. The Eagle hits the Dodo Bird at a disgustingly fast speed, spraying it's bones all over the arena. Wouldn't I like to be the lucky fan who caught his skull! Looky there, didn't even spill his cola. Well clearly the Dodo Bird has been knocked out, Helga the Bavarian eagle looks like she has come as close as you can come to killing a dead bird. Nat Ural will not be joining us this year, sadly, he was killed while skydiving with a shark. We'll find somebody else though, one of these times.


WINNER: BAVARIAN EAGLE

ELIMINATED: DODO BIRD

the mouse come sout of the hole to seek a new home after his weas destroyed by the soviet rupblic of russias kgbs.they had put a cat out to wait for the mouse who has just been cut inot 4 by the russian pussy.theunited republic of dogs has released a rotwiler to tear apart the cat from russia.3 down,many to go.the dog runs outside hoping to piss on a fire hydrant when a jaguar from africas republic eats the dog.the jag runs down the street after a zebra from strippy's world of zebras and they both get run over by a pack of geographical challenged elephants from austrailia.those elephants who soon get mass murdered by a pack of lions from somalias safari.which in turn leads the lion eating man bird of ethiopia to kill the lions for food.in turn,man birds who eat the lions fly away and go back to there ocean home to eat fishes and the seals of rissia eat them as the go under.seals win,w0ot! :mp5: :sniper: :gundge:

my animal is the :cool: coolest cuz it is very intelligint, it is the human

From NONA (Nieder Ostland News Agency)

Breaking news coming in.

Helga, our competitor in the fight for the best national animal, have gone thrue the first round. After a fierce fight against a dodo bird, Helga showed what bavarian eagles are made of. After a hard fight She literally disintegrated the dodo bird with a devasting blow, sending pieces of dodo bird across the rafters. We are convinced that Helga will go a long way in this tournament, and evne win thou it's her first fight.

the mouse come sout of the hole to seek a new home after his weas destroyed by the soviet rupblic of russias kgbs.they had put a cat out to wait for the mouse who has just been cut inot 4 by the russian pussy.theunited republic of dogs has released a rotwiler to tear apart the cat from russia.3 down,many to go.the dog runs outside hoping to piss on a fire hydrant when a jaguar from africas republic eats the dog.the jag runs down the street after a zebra from strippy's world of zebras and they both get run over by a pack of geographical challenged elephants from austrailia.those elephants who soon get mass murdered by a pack of lions from somalias safari.which in turn leads the lion eating man bird of ethiopia to kill the lions for food.in turn,man birds who eat the lions fly away and go back to there ocean home to eat fishes and the seals of rissia eat them as the go under.seals win,w0ot! :mp5: :sniper: :gundge:
1. WTF did you just say.
2. Use capitals.
3. Use spaces.


my animal is the :cool: coolest cuz it is very intelligint, it is the human
okay, I am going to assume intelligint does not equal intelligent, if it does, then i believe it's intelligence is somewhat over estimated.

OOC: Where on Earth did those two come from? Not only is it incomprehensible, (Rissia), but totally off topic.

Bring Up My Post.

Hey the next fight is between Liger and Puppy/Kitten Eating Sewer Rat. Such a shame one of these animals has to leave in the first round. Now. I'm gonna see if I can do a fight tonight. I probably won't, not for any reason, just whenever I post a post like this I never end up getting around to the fight.

ugh, sore throat. lightheadedness...can't...regain...balance...uugghh...*dies*

Such a shame one of these animals has to leave in the first round.

What do you mean they have to leave?

Such a shame one of these animals has to leave in the first round.

What do you mean they have to leave?

Because one of them will lose and be eliminated from the tournament. It is single elimination.

IC: Hello everybody it's the ring announcer and welcome to yet another fight of Battle National Animals III! Today's match is between the Puppy/Kitten Eating Sewer Rat and the Liger. It's sure to be a nailbiter. Let's go ringside!

Now the Liger has a pretty big size advantage over the rat, who reporters have nicknamed "Gus," and also the Liger is bred for its skills in magic. But the rat is a formiddable opponent, and is also repulsive, which is a bigger advantage than one might expect. Now, the fight begins, the rat scurries forth and immediately lands a sharp bite on the Liger's paw. The Liger was pretty slow to react there, hopefully everything's alright. The Liger backs away, Gus continues to scurry about. The Liger appears to be conjuring an attack here, while Gus is trying to find his opponent. BAM a lightning bolt flashes across the ring, striking Gus and turning him into rat Barbecue! Gus has been blackened! I can't tell if he's alive or not....he's moving! Gus is still alive and appears....mostly unfazed by that attack. Strange, yes. Gus runs forward, slower now, and jumps out at the Liger, who sidesteps. Gus continues his pursuit of the Liger, who is backing off. The Liger swings out at Gus with his paw, who dodges, and then chomps down on the Liger's extended leg! Gus refuses to let go! The Liger tries to bite at Gus, and now appears to have got him in his mouth! The Liger brings Gus into his mouth, and now appears to have swallowed him whole! It looks like the Liger is the winner. But wait a minute now what?! The Liger appears pained. He opens his mouth and out comes Gus, once again seeming unharmed. The Liger is holding his tonge out of his mouth, and panting hard. Gus chomps down on his tail, and then his leg! The Liger is being eaten to death! The match is called, Gus is the winner!

WINNER: PUPPY/KITTEN EATING SEWER RAT

ELIMINATED: LIGER

Could someone give me some mustard?

Thanks in advance.

Could someone give me some mustard?

Thanks in advance.

Yes, your cryptic message is confusing...and intriguing. Your desire for mustard can only be a side effect of your subconscious want of....ketchup. Yes, inside your brain is a conflict between condiments, and only after a lifetime of soul searching will you truly find the answer.

Yes, your cryptic message is confusing...and intriguing. Your desire for mustard can only be a side effect of your subconscious want of....ketchup. Yes, inside your brain is a conflict between condiments, and only after a lifetime of soul searching will you truly find the answer.
42?

42?WTF?


Yes, your cryptic message is confusing...and intriguing. Your desire for mustard can only be a side effect of your subconscious want of....ketchup. Yes, inside your brain is a conflict between condiments, and only after a lifetime of soul searching will you truly find the answer.
This is also not correct, young grasshopper. You see, Hakopam's desire of mustard is a subconscious need of attention. When Hakopam was a child, his parents' attention to him was only to give him the mustard on his hot dogs. Mustard symbolizes the only attention he got, and therefore his desire...


Re lyt drol revoy th'gim laehty. B'th guace, rau oye rofeb n'wodwob!

Can we get on with the tournament?

Can we get on with the tournament?

HEY! We're TRYIN to have a CONVERSATION here! :)

Yeeeaaaah, I'll get it done one of these days, everyday seems to be another calamity over here. I'd look for it...tomorrow or Saturday. I'll try and really pressue myself to do it tomorrow. I might hire one of those mafia guys.

I might hire one of those mafia guys.

Need any help with that? I know some guys if you know what I mean...

I am writing this because:

1) I like our post on top
2)I would like to be a sponser for Battle National Animal

I am the current owner of Gondeau's Regional Map-Making Service. Have you ever thought "Those guys have a map... we should get one too!", but didn't want to get off your fat ass and make one? Then the GRMMS is here for. Yes, we offer the best maps Paint can get you, for no price! Plus, you have our guarantee you will get exactly what you ask for. In fact, I always put in other things I beleive will enhance the map that you might have missed (let's say i have an eye for it)! Want a country that looks like France and Germany combined, in both shape and size? Done! How about an archepalago in the Mondraganaba Sea? Done! A land that looks like a swastika? Not done, because that's offensive! So if you want to be one of the cooler regions with those cool maps, then the GRMMS is here for you! Now hiring!

May be illegal in some states we don't know about yet. Do not use GRMMS while under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or peer pressure. GRMMS may cause minor injuries, including strokes and internal hemorrhaging. Exposure to GRMMS over an electronic screen is dangerous, and may cause extreme crack addictions and a need for mustard.

Welcome everybody to another contest in the Battle National Animals III tournament! I'm the ring announcer, and today's match is between The Sanrio Kitten and The Malkemendrian Hawk! Let's go ringside!

The Sanrio Kitten begins the match by setting up a small table with two chairs, and invites the Hawk to come down for tea. The Hawk obliges, and swoops down to the empty chair opposite the Kitten. The Kitten pours the tea, and slides it to the Hawk's side of the table. The Kitten, while sipping his tea, begins to spin a yarn about evil birds who use physical violence. The story ends with the bird's wings getting cut off, then falling into a volcano where he suffers a slow, painful, torturous death melting in the lava. His captors throw fruit on him while he dies. The Hawk....seems unfazed by this attack! He upends the table which...doesn't hit the Kitten! The Kitten appears to be holding the table up, and, using only one arm, replaces it on all four legs on the ring. The Hawk frustrated, returns to his seat. The Kitten pours another cup of tea and begins to tell another tale. This time a bear is chasing kittens. He wants the kittens for his dinner, but he is to slow and lumbering to kill them quickly, and instead must chase them incessantly. While the bear is running through the woods, he is suddenly impaled by a salad fork from above. The tines were driven through his torso, but he is still alive as he is picked up, and scooped into the gaping mouth of a giant. The screams are audible until the kittens hear the crunch of his bones. This time the Hawk seems upset. He slices up the table and chair. He throws his tea cup belligerently into the seats. He flies away, exiting through the main terminal and leaving the main exit onto 52nd street. He flies and flies, eventually resting at the top of St. Anthony's cathedral, apparently seeing the experience at the battle as a warning sign to get back to the Lord. The Kitten is declared the winner! Wow, the fans sure were disappointed tonight. Hopefully they won't ask for their money back...that might come out of my salary...See you next time everybody, from the Imperial arena in Poppernickle, I'm the ring announcer, good night!

WINNER: THE SANRIO KITTEN

ELIMINATED: THE MALKEMENDRIAN HAWK


OOC: Gondeau, I'll think about it. What can you offer the tournament? Besides maps, I guess. I don't really see how the maps would help the tournament, but if you can think of something, I'll sign you up. Even if you can't, if you can think of anything, even if it has nothing to do with maps, I'll probably sign you up. The tournament lost money last year with the offering of prize money, and we've been looking for some more corporate sponsorship.... ;)

OK, um... hmmm... *what can I see to make him like me?* ... OH! Um, its free sponership? And I'll be your friend...
:(

Is there time for another entry?

OK, um... hmmm... *what can I see to make him like me?* ... OH! Um, its free sponership? And I'll be your friend...
:(

It would be free sponsorship for you. Normally the sponsor would give the organization money, but since that doesn't really work, I need something else. I'll think about the friend deal. I have been looking for one of those....

EDIT: And sorry dude, no more room for another entrant.

http://www.therainiervalley.com/NeonTetra01.jpg

The Neon Tetra has been Markreich's national animal since it was founded in February 2004. Beware, they are fierce!! ;)

Fine. I will give you 5,000 Gondollars to your cause... and I'll still be your friend.

A cheer rises up from the assembled otaku and other citizens of The Eternal Kawaii as the Sanrio kitten takes its bow. Shouts of "Praise the Eternal Kawaii!! All Hail the Cute One!!!" ring through the stadium.

http://www.therainiervalley.com/NeonTetra01.jpg

The Neon Tetra has been Markreich's national animal since it was founded in February 2004. Beware, they are fierce!! ;)
1. The competition is closed. Read every second post in this thread, they all have it in them.
2. My bristlenose woulod kick them...

1. The competition is closed. Read every second post in this thread, they all have it in them.
2. My bristlenose woulod kick them...

1. No problem.... it's a joke. :D

2. Bah. The Neon Tetra is everywhere! Now, if only I could work on their "killer instinct"... right now, they only attack brine shrimp with any real elan. :(

1. No problem.... it's a joke. :D


HAHAHAHAHAHAH! So funny I forgot to laugh!

http://www.allposters.com/IMAGES/MMPH/243671.jpg

Yeah!

oh no. Not Dr. Bristlenose v. Glass Bottle Beetle. This will take a day or two to think over. Geez, you do a fight, and then you think, okay I did a fight, I don't have to worry about that for a while, and then a few days pass, and you realize you have to worry about it. Everyone should pity me because this is the most work I've done in my life, and it's so hard and my fans are so demanding...*cries*

:)

oh no. Not Dr. Bristlenose v. Glass Bottle Beetle. This will take a day or two to think over. Geez, you do a fight, and then you think, okay I did a fight, I don't have to worry about that for a while, and then a few days pass, and you realize you have to worry about it. Everyone should pity me because this is the most work I've done in my life, and it's so hard and my fans are so demanding...*cries*

:)
Want a hug?

I am certainly a straight guy so you don't have to worry about any type of commitment...

I haven't seen a fight in so long...

I haven't seen a fight in so long...

Quit yer whinin'

I have to say the decision for this battle has been following me ever since I realized I'd have to make the decision. I once had a dream where Dr. Bristlenose was fighting the Glass Bottle Beetle. My alarm went off before the fight was finished. Anyway, the time has finally come....geez that sob story stunk to high hell.

IC: Hello everyone I'm the ring announcer and welcome to Battle National Animals III. Tonight's fight will be very difficult to see from the stands, as the Glass Bottle Beetle goes up against Dr. Bristlenose. Let's go ringside! Hey it's a good thing I have a TV up here from my seat it looks like no one's in the ring yet.

Dr. Bristlenose begins loading his tiny uzi submachine gun, while flopping from side to side, presumably to make himself less of a sitting duck. The Beetle scuttles towards his slimy adversary, reaches out with his mandibles and clamps down on the Dr.'s midsection! Dr. Bristlenose drops his uzi and begins flailing with his fins at the Beetle's carapace. The spines appear to have left scratches on the mineral buildup, but the Beetle will not let up. Dr. Bristlenose's eyes appear to be leaving their sockets, while he continues to wave his fins wildly. Dr. Bristlenose gives up trying to flail, and is now trying to simply shake himself loose of the Beetle's grasp. Woah, the Beetle loses his grip, the Dr. nearly frees himself! Held by his tailfins, Dr. Bristlenose lunges out for his uzi, grabs it, and packs the ammo! He fires several rounds over the Beetle, who immediatley relinquishes hold and scuttles quickly away. Dr. Bristlenose steadies himself and empties a clip in the Beetle's direction. A few of the bullets can be heard richocheting off of the Beetle's carapace. The Dr. shows his frustration at not having terminated the Beetle as he sloppily replaces the clip. The Beetle zig-zags erratically but avancing toward Dr. Bristlenose, and snaps out at the Dr. with his mandibles! But Dr. Bristlenose sidesteps away, and throws a spiny uppercut punch into the Beetle's exposed flesh! The Beetle withdraws his head in pain, as Dr. Bristlenose fires almost point blank right at the Beetle! Although it looks like many--probably even most--of the shots miss, it looks like the ones that did connect did the work! Dr. Bristlenose jumps onto the Beetle and starts flailing his fins in a similar fashion as he did at the beginning of the match! The Beetle is scuttling around in a circle extremely fast, in obvious pain. The match has been called, the Beetle will be taken in to the Beetle Health Facility that has been set up inside the stadium. Good Lord, Beetle Health Facility. Don't they have other events here? Like maybe basketball or something? I guess they had a bit more time between battles.... In any case Dr. Bristlenose is the winner!

WINNER: DR. BRISTLENOSE

ELIMINATED: GLASS BOTTLE BEETLE

P.S. The Beetle was successfully treated for minor gunshot wounds to the back and face. Luckily only five shots had a somewhat significant impact, also they were very tiny bullets fired from a very tiny gun. The Beetle was discharged from the BHF and advised to take one to two months of rest.

the yeti pwns all.

8 feet tall.

abominable.
snowmen.

what more could you ask for?

(don't ask why my nation eats them. i don't know. i legislated to just shoot them and throw in a ditch and then they start eating them and making them a delicacy...)(i think my workers are addicted.)

GO DR BRISTLENOSE!!! :D

hmm, I think I will have to teach him how to aim the uzi before the next match though :S

the yeti pwns all.

8 feet tall.

abominable.
snowmen.

what more could you ask for?

(don't ask why my nation eats them. i don't know. i legislated to just shoot them and throw in a ditch and then they start eating them and making them a delicacy...)(i think my workers are addicted.)
GO AWAY AND SHOVE YOUR YETI WHERE THE SUN DOES NOT SHINE!!!!

THE COMPETITION IS CLOSED. IT SAYS THAT ON THE FIRST PAGE.

GO AWAY AND SHOVE YOUR YETI WHERE THE SUN DOES NOT SHINE!!!!

THE COMPETITION IS CLOSED. IT SAYS THAT ON THE FIRST PAGE.


so what if the competition is closed? do i look like i'm entering the competition?
did i say "i want to enter"? did i say anything that would make you think that?

so i made a post about the yeti. it wasn't an entry- just a post.

what crawled up you ass and died?

so what if the competition is closed? do i look like i'm entering the competition?
did i say "i want to enter"? did i say anything that would make you think that?

so i made a post about the yeti. it wasn't an entry- just a post.

what crawled up you ass and died?

Your post offered nothing. That sometimes irritates people.

so what if the competition is closed? do i look like i'm entering the competition?
did i say "i want to enter"? did i say anything that would make you think that?

so i made a post about the yeti. it wasn't an entry- just a post.

what crawled up you ass and died?
1. You implied it,
I'll show you somthing:
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9037857&postcount=3
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9037857&postcount=8
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9037857&postcount=11
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9037857&postcount=12
All of them wanted to be entered yet they did not explicitly stated 'I WANT TO BE ENTERED'

2. Nothing that I know of at the moment has crawled up my ass and died. If you would like me to double check I will oblige. I am pissed off cause people LIKE YOU witha grand total of 5 posts on the forum come in here, post there Animal, ignoring everything else that has being previously said in the thread. WHEN WILL NEWBIE/N00BS LEARN TO READ!!!!

Tea party, anyone?

Tea party, anyone?
is a good band :D

ok, may aswell, see if I can sabotage the competition :rolleyes:

Lapse, all those links show the same post....oh wait, the noobies can't read, I see your point. I'll see to putting down a fight one of these days. Too bad summer's almost over already.

Lapse, all those links show the same post....oh wait, the noobies can't read, I see your point. I'll see to putting down a fight one of these days. Too bad summer's almost over already.
woops.. they were meant to show different ones, Ok, for people who really want to see the ones i tried to show, just click onto the first page of the topic and read them...

Hey I've got band camp starting today and running through Friday, so I don't think I'm gonna have internet access. I'll think about the fight though and try and have it pretty much ready to go when I get back.

hmm, This one time, at band camp...

bring us back stories :)

Well, one of my buddies was marching and his pants fell off. Also on the bus ride home a guy threw his backpack in the seat I and someone else was sitting in. We took his DS out, changed the color to pink, and the message to "I Love Weiner."

Anyway......

I think I'll do a fight this evening. I'll give it a shot.

*$10 you don't make a fight :P

We got bets! Do I hear a 20?

Come on, quit yer whinin. It's only been what, two and a half weeks? :p :sniper:

we werent whining... just holding an innocent betting pool :P

Woah hey, I totally forgot about this thread. I think I forgot about the entire site there......

IC: Hello and welcome to Battle National Animals III! It has only been half an hour since the last fight. The strange feeling of lost time you have is as a result of experimental technology in the healthcare field recently being tested nearby. Tonight's fight is between the Cat and the Narwhal. Because the Cat is a land creature and the Narwhal inhabits the sea, our crack team of battle engineers have designed a new type of arena, a large pond type contraption with several islands dotting the surface. Strange indeed, but it has been rigorously tested and it has been determined by our crew of experts that it provides an advantage to neither party, giving each a level playing field for the fight. Figuratively speaking of course. Well enough pleasantries, let's go ringside!

The Cat has taken his place on an island, and the Narwhal is in the water. The Cat begins hopping erratically from island to island, apparently trying to coax the Narwhal into surfacing. The water is very clear, the Narwhal is visible from above of the surface. The Cat jumps, and the Narwhal jumps! The Narwhal tries to poke the Cat from below in mid jump, but the cat arches his back, avoiding the Narwhal's tusk, and landing safely on his island destination. The Narwhal foolishly lunges at the Cat, beaching himself on the island! The Cat, seeing his oppurtunity, jumps on the Narwhal's head and begins clawing mercilessly. The Narwhal musters all his strength into a mighty flop to release himself from the island, hurling himself up into the air and splashing into the water back-first. The Cat goes under with him, and the Narwhal can be seen waving his tusk aggressively at the Cat as he tries to make it back to dry land. The Cat surfaces, and begins paddling towards an island. The Cat has both feet on the island, and is pulling himself up, the Narwhal in pursuit of him below, and OH! the narwhal spears the cat from below, hitting him in the ribs! The Cat goes flying upwards, spining! The Narwhal apparently isn't finished, treading water at the surface. The Cat is coming down, and the Narwhal swings his tusk at the descending feline! Contact is made, and the Cat hits the water at high lateral speed! The Narwhal continues to seek out the Cat, speeding through the top of the water. The Cat is floating at the surface, straight in the Narwhal's path! The Narwhal strikes the Cat with the tip of his tusk, the Cat is pinned by the water against the Narwhal's tusk, the Narwhal looks to be wanting to slam the Cat against the island! The match is called, the Cat is saved from being kebabbed. The Narwhal is the winner!

WINNER: NARWHAL

ELMINATED: CAT

Nervous muttering can be heard from the Kawaiian fans, seeing what a formidable anti-feline combatant the Narwhal is.

More muttering can be heard as the arena is cleared (hopefully?) for the next combat.

HEY CAN I STILL join

HEY CAN I STILL join
NO YOU CANNOT F*CKING JOIN CAUSE THE F*CKING TOURNAMENT CLOSED 5 F*CKING PAGES AGO!!!! not only can you NOT join but you also obviously can NOT read...


have a nice day :)

Gee, I thought BNA 3 had died or something...

Since it seems to have kicked up again, I must say - An Uzi can do wonders for any competitor's chances, especially if it doesn't have any further 'heavy duty' capablilites...

I think next time (if there is one) I'll try neglecting to mention the belly weak spot and see what happens.

Oh yes - Lapse:
Very colourful language there.

Yeah, this died about a month ago. But I was told to stop complaining...

Gee, I thought BNA 3 had died or something...

Since it seems to have kicked up again, I must say - An Uzi can do wonders for any competitor's chances, especially if it doesn't have any further 'heavy duty' capablilites...

I think next time (if there is one) I'll try neglecting to mention the belly weak spot and see what happens.

Oh yes - Lapse:
Very colourful language there.
No, This is colourful language

and he asked for it... Atleast I substituted u's for *s

Hey, guys. Man, it's been a long time since this thread was on. I guess I was just wondering if I could take over the thread now, since it seems Maniaca has forgotten about us. I don't mean to intrude or steal credit... just tryin' to keep the thread going to the end. I will of course drop my animal out if you accept my offer, thereby giving my competitor a bye, advancing it automatically. So what does everyone think? Should BNA be taken under new management?

Yes. Finish up the matches.

I agree.

I agree until maniaca returns

The FurWaif National Animal!
The Russian Sable (Martes zibellina)

Lifespan: 5 - 15 years
Size: About 22-24 inches from tip of nose to base of tail.
Weight: 1-4 pounds
Intelligence: Average
Wisdom: Well above average. They are of the weasel family after all.
Speed: About 5-6 mph at a lope, 15-18 mph at a full-on "gallop".

History: These are regal animals, adored and revered on FurWaif. Half of FurWaif's land is devoted solely to environmental and habitat preservation - not just for our beloved Sable, but for all of our fauna, including the extremely rare Blue Squirrel, electric blue in color, and rare Imperial Macaw, a large long-tailed macaw which looks like the Imperial Amazon. The sables are a "noble" animal. Small in size and big in spirit! A terrestrial, arboreal, and even marine mustelid. These guys can climb, swim, and run over all sorts of ground. They can survive in just about any temperate clime or biome. They prefer old pine forests in very cold regions, almost taiga, like our famed Umber mountain range. Eats small rodents, squirrels, poultry and birds, small fish, rabbits, eggs, grubs, and whatever else that's fresh that it can find and kill.

Voice: They make a small chattering noise, can squeak or peep, and have a catlike purr (mother to kits). If they are harmed, they can let out a small high-pitched scream.

Attacks:
They are fearless and curious, and will attack something up to 4 times their own size. Most of the time, they are seen in dense tree cover, running along the ground, across fallen logs, and maybe up trees.
Biting +1, Clawing +1, Tree Jump +1, Neck-Break Bite +1

Weaknesses:
Extremely valueable for their skins (our national currency is based on the value of a pelt). So, humans actively seek it out. This weakness has been exploited by humans: the sables are now bred on farms, so our wild sables are still doing well for themselves, and our ranch population is doing well too. Our wild sables are an abundant and protected species and no hunting or trapping is allowed. Some colonists own tame sables as pets (the colonists get a permit for the pet, like a dog license), where their behavior is said to be similar to that of a ferret (less hyper) or a skunk (less mellow). It is also somewhat finicky in it's eating habits, like a cat, but it has the weasel's metabolism, so it has to eat frequently.
Fur Value -4, Metabolism -1

Defense:
Like all mustelids, it has foul-smelling anal glands. It also have VERY sharp claws, a fighting spirit and bravery like no other animal it's size "Chihuahua Syndrome", the frame of a weasel (it can escape through smaller areas then you'd think), and it has a lot of pointy teeth that it will readily bite an attacker with. If it's seen in it's preferred forest habitat, the lustrous dark brown fur blends in perfectly with the leaf litter or shadow cover. Has a healthy disposition, clean demeanor, and good immune system.
Anal Glands +2, Weasel Out of Situation +3, Hide +1, Disease Resistance +2

We don't know if new entries will be allowed. It depends on if some of the nations have dropped out due to the delay.

You traitors...every last one of you....

lololol

Maniaca, I only mean to help. If you say it's okay, I will do so and get this burden off you! In case you say yes, I have already got the next battle in the planning process... and my animal will obviously drop out.

I need an answer. If Maniaca doesn't respond in 2 days, I'll... I'll... not be very happy, so he best do it!

Really, though, I just want this to be done. Please, Maniaca?

Well, people, it's come down to this. Maniaca isn't responding, the thread is dying, and I want the tourney to continue. So, I'm reviving the thread and doing the battles now. Maniaca, if you want otherwise you best tell me so. As I've said numerous times, I don't want to steal credit. Just tryin' to keep a great idea going. So, withoput further ado, the continuation of BNA III!

IC: Welcome once again to the Battle National Animal arena! Today's competitors are Floral the Possum and Kitsune. This should be a good match to watch, folks. Now, let's go ringside and see how the fight unveils!

And there's the bell, and there they go! Kitsune makes the first move, launching a fury of roundhouse kicks to Floral, dealing some good damage. And Floral fights right back by throwing her shoe at Kitsune, and... SHE MISSES! Kitsune's incredible speed has allowed her to dodge the attack as she jumps 100 feet into the air! She pushes the ceiling of the arena, adding to her speed as she hurtles to the ground. Concentrating, she summons small bursts of air behind her, propelling her even faster. She's heading straight for Floral, who is too busy reattaching her shoe!
SLAM!!
Oh, and Kitsune absolutely pummels her into the ground, blasting a hole through the ring! But wait! Floral is able to recover, though she appears very weak. And look at Kitsune, she's obviously getting excited, just... woah, she's launching another attack on Floral! She's running towards her, and... trips half way there! It seems as though she's lost her concentration. All the while this happens, Floral jsut stands there, looking defeated... wait a minute, she's staring into the crowds, at some other male possum. It's her husband, and he's laughing it up! He sure seems like a happy fellow, I mean...
WHAM!
Wow! She just hit him with her shoe! Floral screeches at the top of her lungs, sending half the crowd into unconciousness, but alas, I'm safe due to earplugs (always handy!). Kitsune, though very strong, is brought to her knees in pain, clinching her ears shut. Floral takes the opportunity and lunges for Kitsune and whomps every last inch of her with the trademark bag, regarded to weigh 25 pounds. She just keeps on pummeling Kitsune over and over! And now she's... taking out her credit cards? Of course! In her hands, they're like knives! Floral slices Kitsune, leaving several deep gashes, and the match is called, for the well being of Kitsune (and Floral's husband too!).

WINNER: Floral the Opposum
ELIMINATED: Kitsune

Oh, in case you're wondering, I'm trying to hold the battles on a schedule. Expect one every Tuesday and Friday.

Sorry about the inactiveness. My family is moving to another area right now, and I've worked four 6-hour days. I'll get the next battle up tomorrow. Oh, and come on people, let's get some chat going on in here! BNA is back up! YIPEE!!!

can i enter?
could you please reply to this with a telegram as i dont go onto the forums much?
How many animals are allowed in?

As a reminder to everyone else (new and old alike), the tournament is closed. Wait until BNA4. There will be 16 animals in that tournament as well.

And sorry about the battles. Had a hospital emergency today. At hospital computer right now. Expect tomorrow.

As a reminder to everyone else (new and old alike), the tournament is closed. Wait until BNA4. There will be 16 animals in that tournament as well. can I be the unofficial bouncer? You see how i act to them :)

And sorry about the battles. Had a hospital emergency today. At hospital computer right now. Expect tomorrow.
oh, shit eh, hope everything is alright for you...

I wasn't in the ER, my Grandma was. She's pretty old, and stuff just keeps happening to her. Enough about that though, I'm on a teacher's computer right now (not kidding), so I'll post the battle at about 9:30 p.m. The time is so late because I have to work until 9.


And Lapse, yes, you can be a bouncer. No bloodshed on my turf, now. Just show some of your colorful language and be done.

WOOOH

*readys nuke launcher*

bring it on n00bs...

when is bna4 ?

when is bna4 ?
In the future...