Cogitation
06-03-2004, 20:17
The Third Comic Routine of the NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester
Good Afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. Thank you for taking the time to read this topic.
...
For those who don't know, Reploid has recently been using the following signature, recently:
http://rpstudios.ian-justman.com/junk/CGgoods/RepProdtheModsig2.JPG
~Evil Empress Rep Prod the Ninja Mod
~Master of the mighty moderation no-dachi Kiritateru Teikoku
Now, I just have to ask: Are no-dachis really that big? :shock:
I mean, it looks exaggerated to me; the way it's drawn, it's gotta be twice the height of the person weilding it. I don't know if that thing falls under swords or polearms.
With most swords, one has a sword-shaped covering called a sheath into which one puts a sword when the sword isn't in use. You can't possibly use a sheath with that sword and still be combat-ready. With most normal swords, the sword and sheath are short enough that (while gripping the hilt) you don't have to pull your arm out more than arm's length to get the sword out. But, if you used a sheath with this thing, you'd have to pull it out hand-over-hand to get the thing free. Then, once out, you have to drag the sword back to you to get to the hilt. So, using a sheath is out-of-the-question.
So, what do you do? Tie the hilt to your belt without a sheath? You're going to be dragging the blade around on the ground all over the place, and that'll ruin an otherwise good blade (unless you happen to have some really good scratch-resistant materials I don't know about). Additionally, for it to be an effective weapon, it has to be sharp. ...and you don't have a sheath on it. So, you've got this 12-foot-long sword dragging along behind you, you're walking through a crowd, and suddenly you decide to turn to the right or left.
Congratulations, you just sliced through the ankles of 20-or-so people standing near you.
That would be just like those old comedy skits where some moron is walking around with a 15-foot-long piece of lumber on his shoulder. He turns around and everyone has to duck to avoid getting hit.
...and how are you actually going to use that thing in combat? It must be heavy! Who's going to use that thing? Sampson? Superman? Okay, maybe that's what the suit is for; maybe it enhances the wearers strength by a factor of 10 or something. Or maybe you have to take some really good steroids. ...or turn into The Incredible Hulk.
So, if one could really weild a sword that big, I suppose it would make sense, then. "Look, I'm a busy ninja, I have to decapitate you guys 20-at-a-time. *THWACKTHWACKTHWACK*" But why else have a sword that big? To look scary? Oh yeah, to anyone with common sense, it'd look scary, all right. If I were fighting alongside someone with a sword this big, I'd be real scared that they'd take MY head off by mistake! Friendly fire is a big concern with guns because you can kill someone at hundreds or thousands of feet away. A normal 1-meter-long sword can only accidentally kill someone if they're within 2-times-arm's-reach. With a 12-foot-long sword.... Being able to carve great swaths of bloody gore has a disadvantage: Nobody in their right mind is going to fight alongside you while you swing around the Yon-Ludicrously-Oversized-Sword-Of-Doom.
Yes, I know, I've heard the expression "Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer", but I'm NOT sure if this is what the person who coined the saying had in mind. Still, I suppose you could be effective with that thing IF you had the strength and IF you could effectively fight solo.
But, still, that only works if you have room to maneuver. In cramped-quarters, you can't really swing that thing around, all you can do is run someone through, and that's not going to work if they get too close. Maybe that thing is designed to slice the surrounding obstructions apart? "Hey, I need space, so I'm going to make some." So, take out a few walls, do a little no-dachi-demolition work, and now you have space!
Also, I don't know how you're manufacturing those things, but most blacksmiths thrust a hot sword into a bucket of water to cool it off once it's been forged and banged into shape. Why do you think blacksmiths have anvils? They put a hot sword on the anvil and then hit it with a big hammer to get it into the right shape. For this thing, though, you'd need an entire well to cool it off. Maybe manufacturing techniques have gotten more advanced? Robotic arms move around all over the thing while assembling it or something? Yeah, maybe I watch too much TV and movies; I've seen too many scenes of blacksmiths in medieval times, banging away all day. ... Gutterminds needn't comment on the "banging" part. ... Anyway, they must have come up with better ways to produce swords, right?
But we still have to come back to the problem of what to do with the thing when you're not killing 20 people at a shot (or 20 people at a swing, as the case may be). As stated before with the crowds, you obviously can't drag the thing behind you. So, what? You keep holding the thing in your hand all the time? Well, if you're really strong, I suppose you're not going to complain about the weight. But still, if you're holding the thing in front of you, you have to be really careful. Many people use body language and hand gestures while conversing, and you might poke someone's eye out (and run their brain through while you're at it. Ewww.)
Though I suppose it would be useful as a pointer when one has to give a presentation at the next meeting of the American Association of Assassination Consultants and Commando-Killers (or AAACCK for short, which would be the sound that you make while being run through with the Yon-Ludicrously-Oversized-Sword-Of-Doom). "No, thank you, I don't need a pointer. I can point to the projection screen from here. *RIIIIP* Oops, sorry. :oops: "
The only theory I'm not willing to entertain is that Reploid is using the sword to compensate for something, and that's because I'm fairly sure that Reploid is female (unless there's something she/he/it isn't telling us).
...
*sigh*
...
In any case... if I need to do any fighting, I'll take a Jedi lightsaber. With a three-foot-limit on the blade, thankyouverymuch. ...or a phaser. Phasers are good.
...
Thank you for your time. Enjoy your weekend. :)
--The Jovial States of Cogitation
"Laugh about it for a moment."
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester
Good Afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. Thank you for taking the time to read this topic.
...
For those who don't know, Reploid has recently been using the following signature, recently:
http://rpstudios.ian-justman.com/junk/CGgoods/RepProdtheModsig2.JPG
~Evil Empress Rep Prod the Ninja Mod
~Master of the mighty moderation no-dachi Kiritateru Teikoku
Now, I just have to ask: Are no-dachis really that big? :shock:
I mean, it looks exaggerated to me; the way it's drawn, it's gotta be twice the height of the person weilding it. I don't know if that thing falls under swords or polearms.
With most swords, one has a sword-shaped covering called a sheath into which one puts a sword when the sword isn't in use. You can't possibly use a sheath with that sword and still be combat-ready. With most normal swords, the sword and sheath are short enough that (while gripping the hilt) you don't have to pull your arm out more than arm's length to get the sword out. But, if you used a sheath with this thing, you'd have to pull it out hand-over-hand to get the thing free. Then, once out, you have to drag the sword back to you to get to the hilt. So, using a sheath is out-of-the-question.
So, what do you do? Tie the hilt to your belt without a sheath? You're going to be dragging the blade around on the ground all over the place, and that'll ruin an otherwise good blade (unless you happen to have some really good scratch-resistant materials I don't know about). Additionally, for it to be an effective weapon, it has to be sharp. ...and you don't have a sheath on it. So, you've got this 12-foot-long sword dragging along behind you, you're walking through a crowd, and suddenly you decide to turn to the right or left.
Congratulations, you just sliced through the ankles of 20-or-so people standing near you.
That would be just like those old comedy skits where some moron is walking around with a 15-foot-long piece of lumber on his shoulder. He turns around and everyone has to duck to avoid getting hit.
...and how are you actually going to use that thing in combat? It must be heavy! Who's going to use that thing? Sampson? Superman? Okay, maybe that's what the suit is for; maybe it enhances the wearers strength by a factor of 10 or something. Or maybe you have to take some really good steroids. ...or turn into The Incredible Hulk.
So, if one could really weild a sword that big, I suppose it would make sense, then. "Look, I'm a busy ninja, I have to decapitate you guys 20-at-a-time. *THWACKTHWACKTHWACK*" But why else have a sword that big? To look scary? Oh yeah, to anyone with common sense, it'd look scary, all right. If I were fighting alongside someone with a sword this big, I'd be real scared that they'd take MY head off by mistake! Friendly fire is a big concern with guns because you can kill someone at hundreds or thousands of feet away. A normal 1-meter-long sword can only accidentally kill someone if they're within 2-times-arm's-reach. With a 12-foot-long sword.... Being able to carve great swaths of bloody gore has a disadvantage: Nobody in their right mind is going to fight alongside you while you swing around the Yon-Ludicrously-Oversized-Sword-Of-Doom.
Yes, I know, I've heard the expression "Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer", but I'm NOT sure if this is what the person who coined the saying had in mind. Still, I suppose you could be effective with that thing IF you had the strength and IF you could effectively fight solo.
But, still, that only works if you have room to maneuver. In cramped-quarters, you can't really swing that thing around, all you can do is run someone through, and that's not going to work if they get too close. Maybe that thing is designed to slice the surrounding obstructions apart? "Hey, I need space, so I'm going to make some." So, take out a few walls, do a little no-dachi-demolition work, and now you have space!
Also, I don't know how you're manufacturing those things, but most blacksmiths thrust a hot sword into a bucket of water to cool it off once it's been forged and banged into shape. Why do you think blacksmiths have anvils? They put a hot sword on the anvil and then hit it with a big hammer to get it into the right shape. For this thing, though, you'd need an entire well to cool it off. Maybe manufacturing techniques have gotten more advanced? Robotic arms move around all over the thing while assembling it or something? Yeah, maybe I watch too much TV and movies; I've seen too many scenes of blacksmiths in medieval times, banging away all day. ... Gutterminds needn't comment on the "banging" part. ... Anyway, they must have come up with better ways to produce swords, right?
But we still have to come back to the problem of what to do with the thing when you're not killing 20 people at a shot (or 20 people at a swing, as the case may be). As stated before with the crowds, you obviously can't drag the thing behind you. So, what? You keep holding the thing in your hand all the time? Well, if you're really strong, I suppose you're not going to complain about the weight. But still, if you're holding the thing in front of you, you have to be really careful. Many people use body language and hand gestures while conversing, and you might poke someone's eye out (and run their brain through while you're at it. Ewww.)
Though I suppose it would be useful as a pointer when one has to give a presentation at the next meeting of the American Association of Assassination Consultants and Commando-Killers (or AAACCK for short, which would be the sound that you make while being run through with the Yon-Ludicrously-Oversized-Sword-Of-Doom). "No, thank you, I don't need a pointer. I can point to the projection screen from here. *RIIIIP* Oops, sorry. :oops: "
The only theory I'm not willing to entertain is that Reploid is using the sword to compensate for something, and that's because I'm fairly sure that Reploid is female (unless there's something she/he/it isn't telling us).
...
*sigh*
...
In any case... if I need to do any fighting, I'll take a Jedi lightsaber. With a three-foot-limit on the blade, thankyouverymuch. ...or a phaser. Phasers are good.
...
Thank you for your time. Enjoy your weekend. :)
--The Jovial States of Cogitation
"Laugh about it for a moment."
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester