NationStates Jolt Archive

In light of the recent rash of Il Adib attacks, coupled with the injury of Prime Minister Marlena Vera Cantrell at the hands of her son Ortcan, the call for elections has risen upon The SLAGLands and has been heard. Having received sufficient petitions from The SLAGLandic people, The SLAGLandic Prime Ministry is preparing for yet another election.

The big news regarding this election is that Prime Minister Marlena Vera Cantrell may not run for re-election. As this is her second "recall" vote, she is no longer eligible to pursue the position of Prime Minister of The SLAGLands. As such, this month's elections will usher in an all-new Prime Minister!

http://invisionfree.com:54/40/9/upload/p1166.jpg
Predominant among the candidates this year is the "incumbent" of sorts, Bodyguard Barry. Having served as Prime Minister Cantrell's Minister of State for the past three years, Barry has also served as Acting Prime Minister during the Prime Minister's maternity leave.

Barry holds strong to the ideals emphasized by Prime Minister Cantrell: an emphasis on education and the environment. He believes strongly that only through the full disarmament of The SLAGLandic Armed Forces can peace truly be achieved. He believes in holding strong to old allies in The Triumvirate of Yut and pursuing new ones through the use of non-violent diplomacy.


http://www.hypertrek.org/xr/img/stewart.jpg
Perhaps the most popular opponent to the Cantrell/Barry platform is Bonne Gregor Westerburg, a 54-year-old businessman hailing from the small town of Grayson, Newhartia. Westerburg has served as a legislator in the Ministry of Community for the past 25 years, and he has been pivotal in the recent campaigns to implement free education to all SLAGLanders.

Westerburg is an adamant proponent of education and further contends that the military of The SLAGLands should indeed be rebuilt to its former strength--only, however, to serve as a defensive force. While he believes strongly in The SLAGLands' membership in Yut, he does not feel that Yut should be an excuse for The SLAGLands to become complacent militarily.

"The near-attacks of The Outset Islands Incident are proof that we must rebuild," stated Westerburg in a recent pep rally for his campaign. "Were our allies not there, would we have survived? Would we have flourished? We must become more self-sufficient through the active rebuilding of The SLAGLandic Armed Forces--for our own safety, of course!"

http://www.online-shrine.com/berry/images/halle_berry.jpg
31-year-old Janine Beatrice Mendehlson has, for the past five years, served as the Mayor of the glitz and glamour capital of The SLAGLands, Orgla. She is widely credited for practically eliminating the rampant crime of that city, as well as shutting down its tremendous illegal prostitution ring.

Janine's campaign can best be described as Libertarian to the extreme. She favours cutting funding to nearly all government programs, allowing SLAGLanders to choose where their money goes as they see fit. Her plan would cut the size of The SLAGLandic government down to a degree to which it would become simply functional--not "all-consuming," as she claims it is now. While some believe that Mendehlson's plan would effectively gut The SLAGLandic educational and welfare systems, she isn't worried, believing that "...self-sufficiency is the key to happiness above all."

http://www.thewildones.org/Belize/tony.gif
As a father of five and the owner of a successful tire company in that town, Gary Gregor Raines is a SLAGTown resident through-and-through. 46-year-old Raines has served on the SLAGTown City Council for the past three years, and he has assisted in implementing major changes to the city's infrastructure and roadways.

Raines is running as a hardline opponent to Il Adib activity in The SLAGLands. He believes that the two recent attacks on human mothers of Il Adib children is proof that the two species cannot peacefully coexist; as such, he is calling for a recall of all Il Adib rights. While Raines does submit an interesting plan for increasing the use of public transportation in all SLAGLandic cities, it is his stance on Il Adib in The SLAGLands that has earned him the most attention and, as a result, granted him quite a following.

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/pic200_web/drp400/p443/p44377rlcqw.jpg
23-year-old Kimberly Laura Beefeeted earned notoriety in the last election when her mother, Dani Beefeeted, ran under the hardline anti-elf, anti-EI, anti-Yut platform that tends to pop up in SLAGLandic politics every once in a while. Kimberly, Dani's daughter, is a young fashion model hailing from Kelder. It is largely whispered that Kimberly's running is only a front for her mother's desire to be Prime Minister; however, this cannot, of course, be confirmed.

Kimberly, like most radical dictators who seek to rise to power through legitimate means. every once in a while in The SLAGLands, holds strong to the classic chestnuts. She believes in a complete reworking of The SLAGLandic military at the expense of all other programs, as well as withdrawal from the Triumvirate of Yut. She holds strong to anti-elven policies and proposes patching The SLAGLands' relationships with The Reich, Arda, and GDODAD--relationships that can be defined as "nonexistant" at best and "highly hostile" at worst. Beefeeted has a small following, most of which are young disillusioned teenagers who aren't of legal voting age.


(OOC: Feel free to ask your questions to the candidates here!)

To me, bodyguard Barry has the style. He's handsome, he looks like Elrond ( :P ), and he's tough enough...

I dig the Libertarian babe.

We endorse the canidacy of Bonne Gregor Westerburg.

While We have had limited dealings with him in the past, We do believe that while he is not as porminent as Barry, will be the more successful leader.

---
Automata X1
First-of-Thirteen

We endorse the canidacy of Bonne Gregor Westerburg.

While We have had limited dealings with him in the past, We do believe that while he is not as porminent as Barry, will be the more successful leader.

Barry: Aw, nuts... well, I was hoping to get more Yut support, but... hey...
Westerburg: I thank Automata X-1 for Your support in this election. I believe that it is through cooperation with the Triumvirate of Yut that I may best achieve my goals, and I am pleased to have Your support in this pivotal phase of the electoral process.

When I am victorious, You will be called upon, X-1, and I am pleased to see that You already seem ready to answer that call.
Mendehlson: I'm disappointed, but I'll press on. Surely The SLAGLandic people will recognize my strengths where the Angelans have failed to do so...
Raines: Fine! I didn't want your help anyway!
Beefeeted: BAH! When I rule over this land, you will be the first to fall, X-1! You and all of the Triumvirate of Yut shall perish in the great pyres of PURGATION! It will be a grand day indeed!

###BEGIN TRANSMISSION###
~>Route: Automata AK1 - Angelus Mainframe -
:
{It's sad to see so many people so easily swayed by a nice pair of mammary glands.}

{The Federated Segments are not in the habit of supporting others candidates; that is}
{a purely internal affair. Nevertheless, we oppose Beefeeted.}
:
~>Route closed
###END TRANSMISSION###

---
http://www.weirdozone.0catch.com/projects/nationstates/scolopendra/alshai_kommetrez2.gif (http://www.silentrequiem.net/triumvirate)
Advisor Automata Alshai Kommetrez
International Relations Section
Federation of Scolopendra

<-<~~~Transmission Started~~~>->

The Italian Forces in Italy Support Berry!

<-<~~~Transmission Ended~~~>->

While Barry did beat up our Emperor Lezard Valeth some years ago, we can't hold that against him. I do have one question for Mr. Westerburg...

"What are your thoughts on diplomacy outside of the Triumvirate? In the same vein, what would your political stance be on foreign affairs? I.E. would you be the type to stick your nose into places, or would you keep to yourself, so to speak?"

Hope that makes enough sense.

-Traiden

The Shogunate voices support for Minister of State Barry, as he has proven to be a very capable leader in Prime Minister Cantrell's absense. Let it also be noted that the Shogunate very strongly wishes for Miss Beefeeted to 'go take a long walk off a short pier while wearing lead shoes'.

http://rpstudios.ian-justman.com/junk/CGgoods/tsume5.JPG
~Tsume Dragonis
~Secretary of Foreign Affairs
~Immortal Shogunate of Reploid Productions

"What are your thoughts on diplomacy outside of the Triumvirate? In the same vein, what would your political stance be on foreign affairs? I.E. would you be the type to stick your nose into places, or would you keep to yourself, so to speak?"

Hope that makes enough sense.

It most certainly does, and I thank you for your curiosity, good sir.

In response to your inquiry, I have always held strong to the belief that while we cannot depend on our allies in matters of self-defense, a strong stable of allied states is important. I believe in maintaining strong relationships with non-hostile friends and neighbours while at the same time honouring the sovereignty due our fellow nation-states. As such, I will engage in proactive attempts to nurture current friendships with allies in the Triumvirate of Yut and--as it pertains to you--the Emerald Heights, while at the same time building on future relationships and friendships in order to benefit SLAGLanders and indeed all people worldwide.

I do not believe in imposing my will on anyone else, Mr. Traiden; what I do believe in is cooperation, and that is a goal I will pursue when I am elected.

Bonne Westerburg
Your Next Prime Minister
The Emerald Heights of The SLAGLands

Beefeeted: BAH! When I rule over this land, you will be the first to fall, X-1! You and all of the Triumvirate of Yut shall perish in the great pyres of PURGATION! It will be a grand day indeed!

[Communication{K.Beefeeted}]

Ms. Beefeeted, We do not appriciate your insults, and consider them to be a declaration of your own limitless idiocy. Because of this, We have chosen to take your words as merely the uneducated words of an unintelligent tool, and thus ignored them.

Thank you for your opinion, and have a nice day.

[End]

A vote for Beefeeted is a vote for sexy... I mean... she will surely make a good... what's she running for, again?
She has my vote.
-High Delegate Grimm

A recent form was filled out in the Federation, looking for questions to submit. One question was randomly selected for each canidate.

Peter Chan (26) wanted to ask:

Bodyguard Barry, I've heard you posses quite a personal arsenal. Would you get rid of that were the SLAGLands to disarm?

Lucy Starr (47) wanted to ask:

Mr. Westerburg, do you drink hot tea? And if so, what kind? Also, what do you think of welfare policies?

Jack Hyde (35) wanted to ask:

Ms. Mendehlson, what about people who can't live without the government? The slackers and the like? Those people too horrible to actually get off their lazy bums and work? What will you do without Welfare?

(The Federation Government would like to point out that the Federation has no Welfare Program whatsoever, and is interested in seeing how a country plans to change over from a welfare state to a state that is not. No, this question was not chosen at random.)

Katie Goodspee (7) wanted to ask:

Mr. Raines, why do you hate people because they are different from you?

Noah Jackson (24) wanted to ask: (To Ms. Beefeeded, though not specified in the question)

Real? Available?

(The Federation Government apologizes for any insult the randomly selected questions may cause.)

It is not the habit of this government to offer endorsements to foreign candidates, however we do wish them all well in their efforts. This 'democratic process' you use is not a system we utilize here, after all, nor do we wish to interfere in the internal machinations of another nation.

Which leads me to a question for the candidates:

What are your opinions on the right of a nation to rule itself, free of foreign entanglements? Sovereign rule. In addition to this, what are your feelings on other forms of government both in your allies and peers? Do you feel you can effectively work with them, and why or why not? What actions would you be willing to take were you to disagree with how an ally was running their nation?

--Nathicana D'Aquisto

The retirement of Prime Minsiter Cantrell is a sad day: she was a stateswoman and a credit to her country. We ask our usual question: where do the candidates stand on protection of the environment?

And somewhere in the back, a little man asks: "But what about the Il-Adib problem? What are you going to do about the burrowing menace within?" But he is quickly grabbed by sensitivity training experts and taken out of the room.

We'd voice our support for Bodyguard Barry, but we'd also like to know how the candidates would further what Ms. Cantrell has done during her term, and if any, what are their plans for the immediate future?

Breaking Sketchian news

A recent street poll of the Sketchian citizenry show strong support for Beefeeted, at a startling 57% popularity rating. When asked to speculate, a pimple face prepubescent bypasser had this to say - "Yeah, Kim has.....like great political views like....um....like......she's got a nice rack!"

The official government press release statement given on the new elections in SLAGLands was expressed somewhere along the lines of - "We don't really care who they elect, so long as they don't trouble us with their problems."

However, an unofficial opinion giving by a low level government figure stated that "it wouldn't hurt if they just went ahead and elected Bodyguard Barry. Dealing with new leaders can be such a hassle."

In other news - in response to the SLAGLands open election announcements, the Sketchian military police moved to premptively quash any protests relating to the distinct lack of political freedoms in Sketch.

As one people, we strongly voice our support for Bodyguard Barry. We have seen this individual 'in action', and believe his impending election foretells great things for the SLAGLANDic people.

{Public Transmission}
x Gregor Vetinari (Emperor, Imperial Union Of Cetaganda
o The People of the SLAGLands

First, my goverment's offical position. We take no stance in this election, as it is a purely internal matter of the SLAGLands, beyond saying we hope that the future goverment will remain as easy to work with as the current one.

Now, my own views, and possibly some questions. While I support Lord Barry, I will say that I believe Ser Westerburg would also be a very good choice for the SLAGLands should they choose not to re-elect Barry, as he seems an intelligent and stable individual. His stance on the military may be a bit more realistic than that of His Grace, as well. Mendelson's platform seems a bit shaky, as ignoring education is not something I think is wise. Raines position of blatant specism is disturbing, and I believe it would not be in the best interests of the SLAGLands to elect him. Cetaganda would certainly have to re-evaluate our relationship with the SLAGLands if his policies were implemented, and no doubt other nations would as well. Finally, I urge the SLAGLands to stick Beefeeted Mk II back under whatever slimy hole she and her mother crawled out of. If you need some kind of air freshener to get rid of her stench, I'm sure I can donate some.

Ser Westerburg, I would like to know your beliefs regarding other species inside the SLAGLands, not limited to the Il Adib, and on matters such as EI rights, space exploration, and genetic engineering/cloning. While I already know the views of Barry, I suppose the rest of you can reply as well. Except for Beefeeted, as she will no doubt spew her typical drivel.

Random poll of a Slagtown passerby:

Sir, a moment if I may.

"Uh, sure. What is this, Candid Camera? Hi, Ma!"

Uh, no sir. We're clearly not hiding the camera. May we ask you a serious question about the upcoming election?

"Whaddya wanna know?"

Well, which candidate do you support, and why?

"Oh, that's easy! Whichever one looks best in a Playboy centerfold! Ya want me ta draw ya a picture?"

Uh, no sir. That will do fine. Thank you for your time.

"No problem. Can I say 'hi' to my Ma on teevee?"

I think you already have, sir.

Bodyguard Barry, I've heard you posses quite a personal arsenal. Would you get rid of that were the SLAGLands to disarm?

Barry: I believe, my friend, that you and I are thinking of "disarmament" in different terms. When I promise disarmament, I pledge the dissolution of The SLAGLandic Armed Forces, not the abolition of firearms. I believe it is the right of every responsible SLAGLander to keep and bear firearms for his own safety and the safety of his family, and I don't have any intention of impeding on that right.

Mr. Westerburg, do you drink hot tea? And if so, what kind? Also, what do you think of welfare policies?

Westerburg: I must admit, I am more of a coffee drinker than a tea drinker. I especially dislike earl grey tea. (OOC: Hurrr hurrr hurrr.)

In response to your more important inquiry, I believe that welfare policies in The SLAGLands are too lenient, allowing for easy abuse of the system. While I am in favor of a welfare policy to benefit the downtrodden, too often I see it abused by SLAGLanders who are perfectly capable of working and simply refuse to do so out of laziness and abuse of the system. I intend to reform public welfare and, as such, force those who would abuse it into well-paying jobs for the benefit of themselves and The SLAGLandic economy.

Ms. Mendehlson, what about people who can't live without the government? The slackers and the like? Those people too horrible to actually get off their lazy bums and work? What will you do without Welfare?

Mendehlson: Without welfare, we will force the lazy people of The SLAGLands to work. To me, it's just that simple. Welfare has for too long become an excuse for the lazy and ignorant to get by without lifting a finger, and I refuse to stand for it any longer. I must say, though, that I have sufficient faith in the human spirit to believe that any individual, when given the choice between starvation and employment, will make the right choice.

Mr. Raines, why do you hate people because they are different from you?

Raines: "People?" Bah! These Il Adib are animals! You saw what they did to Prime Minister Cantrell and that Rogerson lady, right? They're no more human than rabid dogs, and if you ask me, they should be treated as such!

Of course, let's not forget that the money that's going out of Il Adib pockets is going right into refining The SLAGLands' public transportation system. Free bussing for all!

Real? Available?

Beefeeted: Flattered. Really, I am. Sadly, my... duties to The SLAGLands and her people have forced me to take an impromptu vow of celibacy. That doesn't mean, of course, that there's not a man out there who can tame my most... savage of desires. I just haven't found him yet.

What are your opinions on the right of a nation to rule itself, free of foreign entanglements? Sovereign rule. In addition to this, what are your feelings on other forms of government both in your allies and peers? Do you feel you can effectively work with them, and why or why not? What actions would you be willing to take were you to disagree with how an ally was running their nation?

Barry: Well, this regime has seen a lot of activity in this regard, in particular in the past year's "scandal" of sorts within the Triumvirate of Yut regarding Lady Sirithil. I believe these events were perfectly indicative of The SLAGLands' ideal stance toward sovereignty: as an ideal for the good of all involved. When Sakura was worried about how Sirithil's actions were reflecting on Yut as a whole, she acted upon her gut feeling and confronted Siri about it--respecting Siri's sovereignty while at the same time attempting to save face. This, to me, represents The SLAGLands' ultimate diplomatic goals: working with allies, not imposing our will upon them.
Westerburg: Bah. What Viceroy Sakura did several months ago was a total breach of the etiquette of national sovereignty. Unlike my opponent, Madame Dread Lady, I believe that The SLAGLands has no business prying in the internal affairs of our neighbours. Diplomacy is about cooperation above all, and I believe that through its breach of the rules of international soveriegnty, The SLAGLands has hindered this cooperation in the past. I, of course, tend to put an end to this.
Mendehlson: The government can't afford to keep meddling in everyone else's affairs. It's proven expensive in the past, a burden on the wallets of all SLAGLanders. The best way to go about diplomacy is to open our doors to free trade with all of our neighbours and let the businesses of The SLAGLands sort out whom they will trade with--an act completely out of The SLAGLands' government's intervention. We must stop intervening, and we must begin tearing down the walls of big government immediately!
Raines: Well, I say we ain't got no business tellin' nobody nowhere what not to do, but that's just the way I feel.
Beefeeted: Sovereignty? My dear Dread Lady, you speak of the world as if it's something that's NOT mine for the taking!

We ask our usual question: where do the candidates stand on protection of the environment?

Barry: I stand in the same boat as all previous SLAGLandic Prime Ministers with regard to this issue: the environment is a top concern. It fuels our tourism industry, and it reflects favourably upon us that we are capable of maintaining a place of such peace, serenity, and beauty. The SLAGLands will remain as undisturbed as possible, just the way our forefathers had intended.
Westerburg: This is one area where the esteemed Minister of State and I are in full agreement. Environmental protection is tantamount to the prosperity of The SLAGLands, and it is a goal to which I will continue to aspire.
Mendehlson: Like most things in life, the environment is too expensive an undertaking for The SLAGLandic government to take on. As such, all government-held greenspaces will be privatized. I truly believe that with such a localized effort at preserving the environment in place, we will see far better results than the sprawling SLAGLandic government could ever hope to attain.
Raines: The environment? Are you kidding? We've been a bunch of tree-huggers for too long! My plan calls for a SLAGLands-wide highway system, one that will connect our fair cities with greater ease than ever before! Sure, some trees will have to be sacrficed, but sometimes, the environment can get in the way of progress. If you ask me, that's been happening too much!
Beefeeted: I'll save you a nice lake if you pay me enough...

"But what about the Il-Adib problem? What are you going to do about the burrowing menace within?"

Barry: "Burrowing menace?" Is THAT how the international community perceives us? I can assure you that I've lived in The SLAGLands for all 40 years of my life, and I've never harmed so much as a fly... as long as it wasn't attacking another SLAGLander, of course.

Il Adib are harmless, and the fact that a few bad apples have sullied our good reputation is not going to keep The SLAGLands from maintaing its long-held policies of equal rights for all.
Westerburg: I have actually given a great deal of thought to the Adib situation throughout The SLAGLands, and I have determined that part of the problem may be inter-special marriage. I will not speak on this matter yet, as SLAGLandic scientists have not yet provided me with specific research with which to substantiate my claims.
Mendehlson: Marry an Il Adib, marry a Brethrenite, marry your dog... not the government's concern.
Raines: Export 'em all and let Esmerelda sort 'em out!
Beefeeted: Burn 'em all and let ME sort 'em out!

We'd voice our support for Bodyguard Barry, but we'd also like to know how the candidates would further what Ms. Cantrell has done during her term, and if any, what are their plans for the immediate future?

Barry: Well, I plan to be Prime Minister in the immediate future. With regard to Prime Minister Cantrell... could you be more specific?
Westerburg: Yes, I agree. While Mrs. Cantrell was a fine Prime Minister, policy changes between regimes are inevitable. And I, too, plan to be Prime Minister in the immediate future. It seems we have conflicting plans, Minister Barry.
Mendehlson: Well, obviously, my plan requires undoing quite a bit of what Prime Minister Cantrell has done... but it's for the better, I assure you. As for my immediate plans, I think a game of snooker and a run as Prime Minister sound good.
Raines: Well, I was thinking about getting a burger when this interview was over... oh, and becoming Prime Minister! As for Marlena, could ya specify some more?
Beefeeted: I feel like a nice, hot bath...

Ser Westerburg, I would like to know your beliefs regarding other species inside the SLAGLands, not limited to the Il Adib, and on matters such as EI rights, space exploration, and genetic engineering/cloning. While I already know the views of Barry, I suppose the rest of you can reply as well. Except for Beefeeted, as she will no doubt spew her typical drivel.

Barry: All right. I get to sit this one out. *grabs a soda*
Westerburg: Inter-species rights are always top priority within The SLAGLands. We pride ourselves on our Ministry of EI Affairs, as well as our well-funded Ministry of Science. We, of course, owe much to our friends and allies within the Triumvirate of Yut, and I certainly hope that through my leadership, this cooperation in matters of science will prove infinitely beneficial for us all. It is through science that the mysteries of the universe are unlocked, and it is through science that we will continue to grow and thrive as a nation and a people.
Mendehlson: Equal rights are, of course, a give-in; however, I don't think it's the government's place to sully its hands in matters such as space exploration and genetic engineering. We'll leave that to the private businesses and entrepreneurs of The SLAGLands.
Raines: Well, just like always, I support granting full rights of citizenship to any people who aren't too dangerous. This rules out Il Adib, of course, but EIs? The Brethren? They ain't hurt nobody yet. As for space exploration and genetic engineering... these are all grand things, but we have other priorities. Transportation, commerce, and local and national police departments must be at the forefront of every SLAGLander's mind, and unfortunately, that may not leave us enough time to go into fancy stuff like... science.
Beefeeted: Drivel, eh? Well, I'll have you know that my campaign calls for the employment of countless EIs and EXTENSIVE research in space travel! I'd tell you more, but it's obvious you don't want to hear it! Hmph!

Menelmacar endorses the Westerberg campaign; the more we learn about him, the more we like. We'd suggest a position in the Ministry of Justice, though, for Ms. Mendehlson, given her successful track record in crime reduction.

http://www.weirdozone.0catch.com/projects/nationstates/sirithil/sirithilnosfeanor.gifLady Sirithil nos Fëanor
Elentári of the Eternal Noldorin Empire of Menelmacar
Regent of Lavenrunz, Chancellor of CENNA
"We have known freedom's price. We have shown freedom's power. We will see freedom's victory."
~US President George W. Bush
We Love the Iraqi Information Minister (http://www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com)
Clicky-clicky!

http://people.vanderbilt.edu/~darion.c.smith/posters/kim.jpg

Odd posters began to crop up in the darker alleys ways of the Federation Cities.

They were ordered removed.

OOC:
Yes, I am aware that the name is misspelled. That's part of the whole point.

Flattered. Really, I am. Sadly, my... duties to The SLAGLands and her people have forced me to take an impromptu vow of celibacy. That doesn't mean, of course, that there's not a man out there who can tame my most... savage of desires. I just haven't found him yet.

Xanone reads this with a slight smile on his face, and ponders sending a certain avatar to the SLAGLands...

The ex-pat community in the Friendly Republic of Dennisov have been informed of the election in their home country. Consequently we have provided them with ballot forms and made all candidate's information available for those who showed interest in voting.

As requested the result, naturally the elections have followed the Dennisov laws concerning privacy, is as follows:

Winner by majority vote:
Bonne Gregor Westerburg

With kind regards,

Ms. Patrica Denn
Minister of Foreign Affairs

DIPLOMATIC COMMUNIQUE {
From: Lord Goobergunch, Goobergunchian President
To: All Candidates for Prime Minister, The SLAGLands
{
What are the candidates' stances towards the United Nations? The SLAGLands recently resigned from the UN, and I am curious to see what their stance on rejoining the same is.

I would also be curious in what position the candidates would take, if elected, towards the UNAOTO.
}}

Bonne Westerburg has taken a significant jump in the polls over the past few days! Could he be the next Prime Minister of The SLAGLands?

SLAGLandic Election Update
Latest Breaking News International Bureau

A new LBN/SLAG poll out today shows Westerburg and Bodyguard Barry neck-and-neck, with Kimberly Beefeeted within striking distance. The poll results are below.
[code:1:0ec785d9f3]Bodyguard Barry 34%
Bonne Westerburg 37%
Janine Mendehlson 4%
Gary Raines 1%
Kimberly Beefeeted 21%

Poll of 1084 SLAGLandic Likely Voters
Margin of Error 3.0%[/code:1:0ec785d9f3]

The Goobergunchian government has not yet taken a position, however President Goobergunch is rumored to have sent a diplomatic communique to the candidates requesting information. To our knowledge, a response has not yet been received.

This has been an LBN International Elections Bulletin.

[ooc: And it has also been a Goobergunchian kick.]

What are the candidates' stances towards the United Nations? The SLAGLands recently resigned from the UN, and I am curious to see what their stance on rejoining the same is.

I would also be curious in what position the candidates would take, if elected, towards the UNAOTO.

Barry: The decision to leave the United Nations was reached by the Tricameral Legislature; therefore, it is a matter out of the Prime Minister's control. Personally, I opposed the decision to leave the UN, as The SLAGLands--in my opinion--lost significant international sway by leaving the United Nations and the Emerald Heights delegateship behind. I chose not to veto that vote, however, as legislative support was great enough to overthrow my veto.

As for UNAOTO... who are they again?
Westerburg: As a member of the Tricameral Legislature who ardently supported the decision of the UN, allow me to state that the United Nations has FREQUENTLY imposed on SLAGLandic sovereignty--and has done so for the sake of petty and stupid resolutions. The United Nations is less an organization based in unity and more one based on corrupting a nation's personal values, and quite frankly, we in the Tricameral Legislature had quite enough of it.

I have no idea who UNAOTO is, but I can assure you that if they are not hostile, they enjoy the benefits of free SLAGLandic trade.
Mendehlson: The United Nations impedes on SLAGLandic sovereignty. It's that simple. They provide virtually no benefit to the world, and most of their policies are already in place within The SLAGLands--all they have succeeded in doing is stalling the political process. The SLAGLands hasn't the time or funding for massive UN reform; thus, it is our place to withdraw.

And who is UNAOTO?
Raines: UN? We don't have no business in the UN! That's just common sense!

And who the hell is UNAOTO?
Beefeeted: Destroy the UN! Condemn UNAOTO! Abolish all who would impose their will upon us!

Press release to all SLAGLanders and nations observing The SLAGLandic Prime Ministerial Elections:

Good day, my friends. I am Kimberly Beefeeted, the next Prime Minister of The SLAGLands. I am writing this release from my home in Kelder.

As many of you may or may not know, my mother, Dani Beefeeted, was recently the victim of a savage and brutal attack at the hands of sympathizers with lower beings--namely, elves. The police, of course, are investigating, but as they're thoroughly within the back pockets of the elven slime, I'm not anticipating much.

My friends, my mother is not involved in this election, and these attacks were an obviously cowardly attempt to get under my skin and into my psyche. I promise you that's more than impossible.

Unfortunately, because of this attack, I'm afraid I'll have to cancel my appearance at the Temple of Sirithil in SLAGTown, which was scheduled for this Wednesday. The elf sympathizers are obviously out in full force, and they'll no doubt make an attempt on my life should I make such a bold move this Wednesday. Of course, we can't have that, now can we?

Let me assure you that whoever was responsible for this attack will not go unpunished. The perpetrators have not yet been caught, but I'm well aware of their origin and intent. If they had plans to shake the confidence of this campaign--and indeed, the confidence of the Church of the Great Camofrog--they have failed miserably and only made me stronger in the face of newfound adversity.

My brothers and sisters in The SLAGLands, please allow me to be your saviour! Allow me to free you from the savage beatings of those who choose to put down those who oppose them--not with the words of the civilized man, but with weapons and hatred! Let us crush these people underfoot and take joy in their utter defeat! Let us show the world that SLAGLanders are a free and noble people and that we will not stand idly by and let the filth and vermin of the world walk over us any longer! On Election Day, vote for me, Kimberly Beefeeted, and vote for the dawning of the greatest triumph in the history of The SLAGLands!

http://invisionfree.com:54/40/9/upload/p3449.gif
Kimberly Laura Beefeeted
Priestess of the Church of the Great Camofrog
Your Next Prime Minister
The Emerald Heights of The SLAGLands

ALTIMIT Broadcaster
Encryption: Off
Broadcast type: Diplomatic
To: Kimberly Laura Beefeeted
Return transmission band: Open
IDENT: Reploid Productions Diplomatic Corps.

We in the Shogunate often think that a picture is worth a thousand words, and as such, feel that the enclosed image quite accurately depicts our opinion of your campaign.

http://rpstudios.ian-justman.com/junk/CGgoods/fulldragonmoon1.JPG
Also enclosed is a larger print of the previous picture. (http://rpstudios.ian-justman.com/junk/CGgoods/fulldragonmoon2.JPG)
~Tsume Dragonis
~Secretary of Foreign Affairs
~Immortal Shogunate of Reploid Productions
<End Transmission>

Official statement from the collective presidency of Tanah Burung

As a backer of The SLAGLands for regional UN delegate, we were saddened to see them leave the UN -- even though some might call us beneficiaries. We also affirm our absolute support for the equality of the Il Adib and our hope to learn more of these people in the future.

Of course, it is not our concern who the sovereign people of The SLAGLands choose as their next president. We are certain they have the wisdom to choose someone who will maintain the wise policies of the Cantrell government and a commitment to an active foreign policy. And we are confident that they will have the courage to reject the politics of fear and racism being offered by one candidate, whose election would turn The SLAGLands into an international pariah.

Of course, it is not our concern who the sovereign people of The SLAGLands choose as their next president.

OOC: Prime Minister. I don't know how often I need to restate this point. ;)

Oops. Red-faced (and i'm Canadian too, i really shouldnt make that mistake!)

And we are confident that they will have the courage to reject the politics of fear and racism being offered by one candidate, whose election would turn The SLAGLands into an international pariah.
Two candidates, actually.

~Siri

The recent BUMP in popularity of Bodyguard Barry has closed the gap between him and Westerburg! Can Barry pull it off?

(OOC: Elections end at midnight EST--get to voting!)

(OOC: Elections end at midnight EST--get to voting!)

[ooc: 13 minute-to-go kick.]

[code:1:4242048c17]Latest Breaking News SLAGLandic Live Radio Feed Open
Latest Breaking News SLAGLandic Television Feed Open[/code:1:4242048c17]

Overheard in a Goobergunch City bar:
President Goobergunch: That's right, I endorsed Barry. But don't tell anybody...the official Goobergunchian position on foreign elections is always neutral.
Foreign Minister Clayton: Thanks. You are secretive, aren't you, Mr. President?
President Goobergunch: Yup.

***POLLS ARE CLOSED!***

RESULTS:

Bonne Westerburg - 358,201,573 votes (42.26%)
Bodyguard Barry - 358,189,183 votes (39.30%)
Janine Mendehlson - 118,382,591 votes (12.99%)
Gary Raines - 76,381,584 votes (8.38%)
Kimberly Beefeeted 203,481 votes (0.02%)
Other - 174,481 votes (0.02%)
TOTAL - 911,532,893 votes (the largest turnout in SLAGLandic history!)

Congratulations to the winner of The SLAGLandic Prime Ministerial General Election, Bonne Gregor Westerburg!

The Federation of Sentient Peoples wishes to offer its Congratulations to the new Prime Minister Bonne Gregor Westerburg.

Good luck.

And for all the other candiates, good show.

http://people.vanderbilt.edu/~darion.c.smith/miniflag.jpg
D'ron Christopher Smith, Imperial President
The Federation of Sentient Peoples (http://people.vanderbilt.edu/~darion.c.smith/)
Federation Roleplay Policy (http://people.vanderbilt.edu/~darion.c.smith/rppolicy.html)

Our congratulations on your victory in the election for a new Prime Minister, Mr. Westerburg. I look forward to our future dealings and wish you the best of luck.

Oh, and Queenie has a message for Ms. Beefeeted.

j00 907 0\/\/|\|Z0|23|) 47 73|-| P011Z!

(Approximate translation from that accursed "1337"speak: "You have been defeated in an honorable and just election, proving that your platform was unpopular and inferior.")

http://rpstudios.ian-justman.com/junk/CGgoods/tsume5.JPG
~Tsume Dragonis
~Secretary of Foreign Affairs
~Immortal Shogunate of Reploid Productions

We convey our congratulations to the new Prime Minister, Bonne von Westerburg, who does not like tea. And I will personally hold a private party in the Imperial Complex that the horrible blonde mammal saw ignomonious defeat.

Emperor Gorrm
Kargaahl Imperial Complex.

The Empire of Treznor congratulates the Prime Minister Elect, Bonne Westerburg. I'm sure we share many similar opinions with regard to national policies. Our Empire would like to discuss contracts with the Emerald Isles with regard to increasing your national budget. As an ally, it behooves us to assist in making sure that your national security is not stinted as you rebuild your military forces.

**************************
http://www.pwfc.org/images/gallery/smtorso3.jpg
Emperor Devon I
Empire of Treznor

http://www.weirdozone.0catch.com/projects/nationstates/toy-tiny.gif

**************************

Bah! There's always next election! The SLAGLands has not heard the last of the Beefeeted family... or the Church of the Great Camofrog!

DESTROY THE ELVES! HAIL MATTHEW IESUS! HAIL LORD MELKOR!

http://207.44.246.95/40/9/upload/p3449.gif
Kimberly Laura Beefeeted
Priestess of the Church of the Great Camofrog
The Emerald Heights of The SLAGLands

The better man has proven himself victorious, and I do indeed concede. Congratulations to Prime Minister Elect Westerburg, and best of luck to him in his new position.

http://invisionfree.com:54/40/9/upload/p1166.jpg
Bodyguard Barry
Minister of State en terminus
The Emerald Heights of The SLAGLands


While I am disappointed that my tenure as Prime Minister ended so abruptly, I believe that the people of The SLAGLands have made an excellent choice. Legislator Westerburg was an invaluable member of the Ministry of Community, a man with whom I convened regularly for his counsel and wisdom. I'm certain The SLAGLands will enjoy a period of wonderful prosperity under his guidance.

Best of luck to the new Prime Minister; I'll be certain to have the husband and servants get our things out of the Plaid House in time for your moving in.

http://invisionfree.com:54/40/9/upload/p1285.jpg
Marlena Vera Cantrell
Prime Minister en terminus
The Emerald Heights of The SLAGLands


I cannot thank the people of The SLAGLands enough for affording me this opportunity to help our great land prosper like never before. This is indeed a wonderful day for myself, my beautiful wife Sheila, and the entire Westerburg family. I pray that we will not let the world down.

I would like to first of all thank The SLAGLands' allies in the Triumvirate of Yut for their unfailing support of my bid for Prime Minister. Certainly, without our friends in Yut, The SLAGLands would never have reached the level of prosperity and power it has currently achieved. Through my election as Prime Minister, I plan to take cooperation with the Triumvirate of Yut to the next level through greater promotion of SLAGLand Titan needs and Yut initiatives in exploration, scientific discovery, and the spread of freedom to our friends worldwide.

In addition, The SLAGLands itself will enjoy the obvious benefits of my election, first and foremost through the revival of The SLAGLandic Armed Forces. For too long, we have allowed ourselves to take part in the grand experiment of disarmament, and while we have enjoyed the blessing of pacifism through an increased focus on education and welfare, pacifism is, unfortunately, an exercise in futility. Already throughout the world, our enemies are growing, no doubt preparing for an onslaught that could endanger the very future of The SLAGLands. By rebuilding our defensive forces, we will grant ourselves a fighting chance should war break out--a chance we previously only had through reliance on our allies.

Finally, all SLAGLanders will enjoy the benefits of a tremendous tax break. The Cantrell/Barry campaign, while ultimately the most successful in SLAGLandic history, created a tremendous tax problem within our fair nation. It is my intent to remedy this problem to give all SLAGLanders the benefit of spending their money as they see fit--without seeing it thrown at superfluous programs and lining the pockets of government officials.

Once again, I thank you all for your support. May the Great Camofrog bless you!

http://207.44.246.95/40/9/upload/p3448.gif
Bonne Gregor Westerburg
Prime Minister en commensum
The Emerald Heights of The SLAGLands

OOC: Can't help having Jean Luc Picard's voice in my head when Bonne 'speaks'.


IC: Our Titan Colony and Sakkra Proper stands ready to aid you in your defensive force rebuilding. Ask what it is you need of us, and we will attempt to accomodate.

Emperor Gorrm
Kargaahl Imperial Complex

OOC: Can't help having Jean Luc Picard's voice in my head when Bonne 'speaks'.

OOC: It just sounds right, doesn't it? :P

-<Transmission Type: Diplomatic Communique>-
-<Destination: Prime Minister en commensum Bonne Gregor Westerburg, The Emerald Heights of The SLAGLands>-
-<Sender: Prime Minister Andrew Seal, Imperial Commonwealth of Khenala>-

Legislator Westerburg,

On behalf of myself, the Khenalian High Council, and the citizens of the Imperial Commonwealth, I would like to extend our heartfelt congratulations in your election to the office of Prime Minister for the SLAGLands.

As a fellow Triumvirate member, Khenala stands ready to assist the SLAGLands through the tenure of your administration. I sincerely hope that we will get to personally work together for common goals in the near future.

Regards,

http://www.fumetsu.net/ns/andrew_ns.jpg
Prime Minister Andrew Seal
Imperial Commonwealth of Khenala

Congratulations with your election, Mister Bonne Gregor Westerburg, we hope that you, your country and your people will witness an extended period of peace and freedom.

I would just like to take this opportunity to let you know that in spite of all the apparent threats in the world, there are still nations that share your views on exploration, scientific discovery, and the spread of freedom.

We may not agree with your all your policies, but we have no worries that even these differences will not stand in the way of further co-operation.
Finally we want to wish you all the best in your elected position and pray that your time in office will be a peaceful and prosperous one.

Sincerely yours,
Ms. Patrica Voss
Minister of Foreign Affairs
http://www.caciqueawards.com/images/Pictures/Blue%20Ribbon/Dr-Patrica-Rodgers.jpg

[Communication{B.G.Westerburg}]

We congratulate you on your recent victory in the polls. We sincerely hope that this marks a wonderful new epoc in SLAGLandic history.

Furthermore, not only as allies within the Triumvirate of Yut, but also as a singular nation, We wish to extend even closer ties with the SLAGLands, and as such, We are prepared to assist you in whatever direction you believe Our assistance would be most beneficial.

---
Automata X1
First-of-thirteen

[End]

{Public Diplomatic Transmission}
x Gregor Vetinari (Emperor Cetaganda)
o Bonne Westerburg (Prime Minister en commensum, EHotSLAGLands); Bodyguard Barry

Congratulations on your election, Ser Westerburg. I believe that you'll be a fine leader for the SLAGLands. I look forward to meeting you in person.

Well, Barry, better luck next time. Make sure you don't do anything to the Prime Minister's office as you leave.

What coincidense that "Beefeeted" rhymes with "defeated".