NationStates Jolt Archive

This thread is scaring the heck out of me. What was the e-mail of [violet] again? :twisted:

Do you really wish to awaken the Bastard Admin from Hell? :)

Ballotonia

Well, those bastard moderators took my rank of powerbroker away. Now I have to spam another 1000 posts, just to become powerbroker again. It's time for the BASTARD NS PLAYER FROM HELL!!!!!11111 And you know what players do when they get mad, do you? I'll just create 5000 puppets, make them all UN members with 5000 different e-mails (I do have a domain name for this), and grief the heck out of all moderator controled regions. My spies have already accuired the passwords :twisted:
Well, let's not get unto that yet. Let's first awake the "Bastard admin from hell" and see what happens.
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CorinThe
The getting help section! (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=help) (for all your gaming problems)http://www.nationstates.net/forum/templates/subSilver/images/whosonline.gif
The Central Pacific (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_region/region=the_central_pacific) (for The Pacific alternative.)

NS2, no new posts except those seemingly endless ones coming out of Catholic Europe as per usual... oh! The same with the JG forum...

Hey I'm mentionned! :lol:


And I supported you for modship, Sirocco!

Since this is a fictional thread, I really should have changed that to Catholic Yurop or something... :)

Bastard NS Obsessive Loser from... well, somewhere


I wake up at 6 am, immediatlely assume my battle stations at the computer.

*Click*

The ever so convinent NationStates Browswer pops up. I look for any telegrams; 3 of 'em. I don't bother to read them. I click on the little moderation button and see the same "Search function isn't working" thread, just by a different person. I provide a link to where it was answered 1.. 2.. 3 times already. I then cruise on over to Technical, there, I see that my "New Issues Are Here Baby," thread has gotten off topic.

I look around, make a few sarcastic remarks, then head over to International Inncidents. I poke mystickied thread on Role Play and Ignoring, just to make sure it's there. I see Sirocco post a "Hippo Stamp of Approval" and laugh about it for a while.

I then log onto a puppet nation and post a space fleet. I then hop back on PANTS and go flame my puppet because I absolutley hate space :| . I sit around for about 3 hours then get some breakfast. I continue to lounge around on the computer, taking only absolutley ABSOULUTLEY nessesary breaks.

Later that night, the Infamous [purple] logs on. ALL HAIL THE GREAT [purlple]!!! She cruises around first the Technical forum. I follow her. A post is left by her in my "How much do you think Max(x) pays [purple]?" thread. She then heads over to the Moderation forum and disappears about 10 minutes later.

I make a thread about my obsession to nationstates and the fact that I had been on for over 14 hours. I then go to sleep and have a dream about NationStates agian.. its starting to haunt me. I then wake up and do it again..

NS2, no new posts except those seemingly endless ones coming out of Catholic Europe as per usual... oh! The same with the JG forum...

Hey I'm mentionned! :lol:


And I supported you for modship, Sirocco!

Since this is a fictional thread, I really should have changed that to Catholic Yurop or something... :)

No, I was only joking....and I'm mentionned some where, a sort of mini NS-fame. :P

Well, those bastard moderators took my rank of powerbroker away. Now I have to spam another 1000 posts, just to become powerbroker again.
I Wanna be a Negotiator. :cry:

You don't realize what a cool forum title you have.

Hmm. . .

The bastard NS puppetmaster from Hell.

You wanna try a thread like it and see who wins Corinthe? :twisted:

I'll just create 5000 puppets, make them all UN members with 5000 different e-mails (I do have a domain name for this), and grief the heck out of all moderator controled regions.

Couldn't you just use the 5000 puppets you already have for this? :P

Ballotonia

I'll just create 5000 puppets, make them all UN members with 5000 different e-mails (I do have a domain name for this), and grief the heck out of all moderator controled regions.

Couldn't you just use the 5000 puppets you already have for this? :P

Ballotonia
No, she doesn't want to move them out tof the 5,000 different regions that she has them as founders in. :P

Couldn't you just use the 5000 puppets you already have for this? :P

Ballotonia
No, she doesn't want to move them out tof the 5,000 different regions that she has them as founders in. :P

You guys found me out. I'm already the BASTARD NS PLAYER FROM HELL.
I start threads about Ballotonia flaming at me. I use my puppets to grief regions, and than I ask moderators to liberate the natives. I spam the regional boards, godmod in International incidents and I post pornographic pictures in general. And now the mods begin to find out that they don't have time for friends anymore. Neut has turned in a cybernetic Deating machine, and the number of mods in NationStates has tripled sinds I decided to play the game my way :P
Btw, this is not a confession, just a fact of life :twisted:
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CorinThe
The getting help section! (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=help) (for all your gaming problems)http://www.nationstates.net/forum/templates/subSilver/images/whosonline.gif
The Central Pacific (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_region/region=the_central_pacific) (for The Pacific alternative.)

Another day, another telegram. You'd think these people would realize that I DON'T WANT TO MOVE TO YOUR FREAKING REGION!

[code:1:40c3591c57]Greetings,
I am some loser from some even worse region. Please move to it![/code:1:40c3591c57]

I reply:
[code:1:40c3591c57]I SILENCE YOU! Curse my TM box with spam again and consider yourself a big friendly hole in the earth. Have a day.
-Pants[/code:1:40c3591c57]

I log onto the forums while listening to my drone sisters stare at the televison. I throw a sock at them in disgust. They try and enter my sacred computer room. That didn't get very far. I immediatley pull out the fire extinguisher and blast them away.

Let's see... More funding to military... School? No, who needs education? Just cut the soldiers down and re-build them how you want!

I pretend to open a mod centre (which is actually a wanna be replica on microsoft paint) and begin clicking around. I type in names of my enemies and pretend to delete them while continuing to battle off my sisters.

I hear a call, "Brandon, you've been on the computer to long come fold towels," ugh, that woman that feeds and clothes me again. Cursed be her.

I shout back, "Uh, its for school mom."

I can see her shadow walking towards me, then I see her body.

*Click Click*

The front cover of my yearbook opens up. I poke around with it for a few minutes until the spy exits my domain. I then minimize it and resume playing with my "mod centre".

I then telegram sirocco. 1.. 2.. 3.. 8 times with no reply. Meh. Thats life..

Another day of NS Paradise

Here goes.
Bastard NS Plyer from Hell Vol. 3
YAWN, another IT lesson. Too easy for my likeings. Ahh good, her back is turned 'demonstating how to do our work on the computor' (Now I know this would be helpful, but I learned how to use the sum button on Excel when I was 6) Onto NS I go.

Issues first. WHAT? Not another Harry Potter Outrage? Dissmiss.

How about my telegrams? Ahh 3 new. That looks good.

1.
[code:1:2ab8f3ba73]From:Compliance New laws have been enacted to bring your country into
Minastry Compliance with 'The Global MAIDS initiative'.[/code:1:2ab8f3ba73]
Doh. I hated that resolution.

2.
[code:1:2ab8f3ba73]From:N00bland Will you endorse me please please, please, please Thank
You[/code:1:2ab8f3ba73]
Go away. Surely he realises I need a good bribe.

3.
[code:1:2ab8f3ba73]From:N00bland Will you endorse me please please, please, please Thank
You[/code:1:2ab8f3ba73]
:shock: What not again. O.K. I'm going to Dimtonia.

Dear Quinntonia,
I thought you might want to know about this Nazi who is threatening to grief the region, his name is N00bland. Methinks he needs a trip to The Rejected Reems.

Onto the forums

Nationstates forum first. Hokey World Cup not full up yet, may aswell make up some random names and start it. There you go.
Now International Incidents. What another odd n00b wants war. Ahh, usual routine,k trick them into breaking the rules then report them to the mods. Simple.
The UN...."Alan what do you think you are doing? This is an IT lesson not a games session". DOH

CRAZY NS PLAYER FROM...

5:00AM: I get up and boot up my computer, then race to get ready for work in a minute so that I can get on the net. "I beat it again!" I log on to NS and scroll down. 2 telegrams. Mabey something good.


From Brightnight: Please join the AAR, We are a offencive and defencive alliance of nations out to rid the world of evil delegates. Please move to AA Enlistment and Endorse Snezzy.

*sigh* "Not those people again."

From Kickers: Please join "Dancers. Password is "Dancers".

Shows what You get for joining the UN. Oh well a telegram to a mod that I know and they are taken care of. Now on to the Issues. "Harry Potter again?!?! Dismiss.

Now up to the regional offsite message board to see how the other half lives. "Aprove, move, lock, delete, lock, lock, lock. Oh a PM?" Dear Admin Why did You delete My thread? "Oh You question Me do You. How about a little time on the ban list. Now My mom wants the computer so she can get on NS (My whole family plays) "Ok mom You can have it." I am a nice son. "We'll see how You like a little ban mom" Or am I?

AHA!!

After just recieving confirmation from Max Barry....(who is in reality Neutered Sputniks, Reploid Productions...AND Gary Coleman)

I have figured it out.

The Mods DO recieve six figure Paychecks for thier infernal dealings..
Where do the get the cash...who pays for it?

the devil himself.
Lucifer consideres it well worth the money for all the strife and mayhem that the mods dish out on a regular basis.

Now that I have this valuable information...
I will soon post it on my new thread..."The Modish Conspiracy to Rule the World."
( I found the facts on an Anti-Barry web site so they MUST be true.)

Afterwards when im done with that....I will then begin a new thread,
This one will be called.."Little Known Facts about Zion-istic Modism."
I mean...sure i'll just rehash the same old crap im always saying but....no one will ever REALLY know...(since most of them wont read it).


Now that I know that the NS Mods are the ones who REALLY control the media....i should let everyone else know too!!!.

-AirHeadTripes.

I didn't know Rep. Sed. was English to bump into LN.

I can't believe she would DEAT Loud Noises... but hey: now he's gone I can take over the Gods Savannah region as its UN delegate with my power unbound by his Founder Nation.

First: ban any UN Nation that hasn't endorsed me. Shucks, thats a legitimate tactic... I caught enough of the "Pasifistic Army" thread to know that thats fine. Oooh, banning feels good. Lets try again. Start with all LN's puppets... back up with tellegrams saying how sad I am to see him go. That'll really confuse him.

But it wasn't fun enough, 'cos it only hit one guy... and kicking someone while their down is fun, but hardly the most damaging. Lets see... 'the Bananas a Fire'. Ban! Come back when your name makes sense. TG to a few others... threats for bannage.
Now: Time to post my radical political views on the General Forum I love so much.

And its all within the rules. 'cos I'm in the UN and they ain't.
And I'm a Bastard NS Delegate from Hell.

- The Violently Opressed Land of Nackerit.

The Bastard NS Future Mod From Hell
(Just a fun idea from the "If you were a mod" thread)

Another horrible day at school, an F on the midterm and a D+ on my last essay.

So I log on to NS for another day of helping those foolish n00bs and trying to 'keep the peace' hopping those foolish mods will really think I'm doing this just for the sake of being good.

First I stop in on general and pick a few threads at random. I submit them to moderation, calling them spam threads and flaimbait. I hope somebody elses day gets wrecked when I get their thread locked.

Looking around moderation, there are two threads complaining about offensive material. I pick one at random and make up three reasons why free speach (HA!) should protect this viewpoint.

Back to the forum. Already someone complaining about why their thread was locked, I love it when there is a quick response. I post three reasons why free speech should NOT protect their viewpoint and move on.

I refer every other thread I haven't responded to to the getting help page.

Hmm .. two threads by Qaaorinthe about greifers. Hmm, this one might be a problem. I'll have to think of some really good fake accusitions to get this one out of my future mod spot. I also add her to my hit list, for my position as future Game Mod.

Over to Tech. So many people complaining about the issues. Hmm, whats that, something about AOL? My first act as future game mod will, of course, be to IP ban them. The whole lot of them.

Clicky. What? Defibrilate the network? Good for SalusaSuckUpus, hje sure knows how to treat those AOLers. But of course, if I want to be mod, the best way to make an opening is to get rid of an existing mod :twisted:, even if it is a rather low ranked one. I try to post a reply, but by the time I'm done, the topic is locked. Hmm, this might be a problem, so I send an email into the admin, hoping [violent] will find it time to move Sally on to greener pastures.

Just wait 'till they give me some power, maybe they'll even live to regret it.

The Bastard NS Player From HELL!!! - Version 1.0

Well, well, well. It's 6am, time for another 12 hours of NationStates. I log on and check my issues first. Oh crap, that's right. I turned them off to remain a Liberal Paradise so people wouldn't expect me to annex their puny selves.

Then I go to the TG box. Lo and behold, the damn thing is full. What to do? Well, obviously delete them all without reading them. Duh?

I cruise on over to the UNAOTO forum, and catch up on posts. Driver wants to know why I didn't respond to his TG about someone attacking a new member. I try to come up with an excuse, but upon checking the thread, I discover they're a crater now. Oh well.

Then I go over to the Moderation forum and report the 6 spam threads I started from school under a different IP, with my 6 puppets all using different emails. This should make me look pretty good.

I notice I have a new TG. Drat. Oh wait, it's some n00b asking what 'godmodder' means. I reply with:

'Godmodder is the term used to mean someone who is an extraordinarily good roleplayer. Accurate forces, realistic wars, etc. If you get called a godmodder it is a very good thing. Be proud!'

After having this fun, I eat, drink, and defecate. I then return to the computer, congratulate myself on shortening my break time to exactly 3 minutes and 56 seconds, and prepare to go tell people that the Getting Help Page is for forum help, and to request that nations be reinstated on the Moderation forum.

Oh, the joy of being a BASTARD NS PLAYER. FROM HELL.

I think you are actually volume four Fyrehart...

I think you are actually volume four Fyrehart...

Well, it was my personal Volume 1, but I had an idea and edited it. :D

These RPer types are so addicted that I bet he plays from work, and his deletion is probably very soon to be discovered.[/size]

If only ;) I am forced to make do with the best part of two hours a night, excluding idle time on the IRC channel! But during that time, I do endeavour to provide a thorough scorning to anyone who dares deviate from my high standards ;-)

:*(

Metagamers can rot in hell. ^_^

The Bastard NS Player From Hell Vol. 6

Get on and check my telegrams first of all. "deer deligat plz emdors my proposol '[insert proposal here]' thanx" Oh boy what fun, and oh, this is a six million pop n00b.

"I would endorse your proposal, except that I can not seem to find it. PS You might want to try out the Forums. 'NationStates 2' is where you post threads like 'i invaj00 with a gadzillion 1337 so1j3rs and n00x'. People who call you a 'godmodder', 'spammer', or 'n00b' are just jealous so tell them so. The 'Technical' forum is where you ask moderators to change your nations name and prefix for you. If you call them 'powarabusorz' they will feel guilty and do whatever ou ask of them." I go on to describe in great detail how to use each forum the wrong way, from explaining that the "Jennifer Government" forum is where you conduct trade, to that the "Got Issues?" forum is where you are supposed to call people names and accuse them of strealing your nation so that the mods feel sorry for you and make you one yourself.

Now on to the proposal list. Ahh, I haven't seen a proposal this dumb in a long time. *clickity-click* endorsed. Oh this one however is very nicely written. I click on the name of the submitter. Good another newbie. "Please stop spamming the forum with your poorly written proposals, the [whatever] of Melchor Non-chained." I click the back button. "Oops sorry wrong nation. Send your response to my main nation 'Melchor Non-chained'" Knowing these n00bs and Melchor, the n00b will send me and Melchor a flame, and then the n00b will learn the disadvantages of flaming a Senior Game Moderator who RPS as pure evil.

Now for the forum. The fun part. I add to my stickt on contacrting delegates a list of delegates who love to be contacted about proposals. I put in some notably irritable non-players, none of them delegates, as well as several moderators (mostly GMs, plus Shirocko{noting that he preffers being addressed as "Volkswagen"}), and some prominate RPers.

The General forum next. I bump some several day old spam threads with modalerts requesting locks (not too old though as not to be suspicious), and then go and start some pointless polls.

Now onto Nuts and Bolts. I look at the stickies in Got Issues and C&P the same issues as have already been revealed, or had their typing errors revealed. Moderation is easy. I quote the second post made on each thread and then add "modalert lock?" beneathe it. Tech is also easy. It is always ether covered in my FAQ or I claim it is, and then request a lock there.

Now for the fun part. I pop briefly into the II forum to fires some IGNORE Cannons, and then post rants on the UN forum. Now I've managed to cleverly spam every forum except JG ans NS2 on thegrounds f being useful, so onto that.

I start a thread in the JG Forum entitled "This Forum Needs a Sticky", and then post a quick spam comment on the two threads in the entire NS2 form that Nuttyed Spuntics hasn't locked yet.

Now I go answer my issues. Damn. No way to further implode my economy and opperss my people in this one. I dismiss it.

Oh, I have new telegrams. Lo and behold, a n00b who I ranted at on the UN Forum has told me to get a life. Gotta love the getting help page. Whether it gets the n00b in trouble or annoys the mods, it will cause somebody displeasures, so my work there is done.

Back to the forums. The n00b I fooled earlier has begun taking my advice. I report it in the moderation forum, post a bit more spam, and wonder what I should do next.

Damn! The LAN is down again. Oh well tommorrow is another day.


Disclaimer: Although I do do some things that are similar to those actions listed here, I have immensely different purposes than the ones in this piece, which is stictly satirical.

The bastard NS player from Hell, Version SQRT-1

5.30pm. Get in from work. Had a long day, pretending to do typing whilst actually having finished every possible job at 10.14am. Feel hungry.

5.32pm. Switch on monitor, ready to check progress of Overnet. Find the file I've been downloading for approximately three millenia has come 4kb closer to completion. Consider it a productive day.

5.33pm. Change /nick on IRC. Receive mandatory hugs in regional chatroom. Am possibly accused of being a troublemaker by Nathicana. Attempt to read chatroom, then realise it's a Tuesday.

5.34pm-5.50pm. Throw half-witted comments into IRC to pretend I'm paying attention whilst actually checking my email for the inevitable 15+ downtimes, so I can cut and paste them into a single MS Word document and print them out on my housemate's computer whilst she's downstairs. Feel vaguely smug.

5.54pm. Idly glance through Nationstates. See I'm down to 146 in the world on defence spend ... and still only 3rd in region. Swear.

6.01pm. Read a thread, involving technology I happen to not like. Spend next 14 minutes researching it, trying to find possible holes. So many holes and links describing them are found I feel justified in posting. Post, moderating my language in such a way as to merely imply the person talking about 5 mile stealth submarine-cities is a genetic defect and should have been aborted by his parents.

6.16pm. Enraged response to my post surprises me. Why do these people argue? What's the point, since I'm obviously right? Quickly whip myself into righteous fury at the idiocy of the unfortunate person who wants technology that breaks the laws of physics. Write post that alternately uses the following words: "whining" "moron" "retard" "imbecile" "faecal remnant" "mistake" "subhuman" "short bus" and "magic". Watch in bemusement as following post accuses me of flaming, merely because I pointed out all the holes in his technology.

6.31pm. Talk to people on IRC. Cannot decide who I hate the most, so simply wait for someone to say something about tech, latch onto it, and then explain in excruciating and incomprehensible detail why it doesn't work, why it will never work, and why they shouldn't think beyond wooden swords, bitch. When things get rough, find some random scientific papers that are vaguely related. If I can't understand the formulae, it's a safe bet no-one else can. Post links, saying "<scientist's name> would disagree! Read this!"

Generally this person then retreats to #circlejerk.

6.37pm. Spot someone selling a nation. As promised previously, roleplay extreme condemnation and hostility to such a stupid, idiotic action. Overjoyed to see an otherwise decent roleplayer, moderator, and member of my "most hated list" (i.e. anyone in the Dodecahedron of Tart)defend nation selling. Proceed to humiliate them publicly and mercilessly.

6.40pm. Log time on my timesheet. Split down, have spent hundreds of hours idling on IRC (99% of them waiting for Nerdanel the Elf to respond), 31 hours writing stories that make vague sense outside Nationstates and don't count, and 11 hours of actual roleplay. I don't have much time to waste: I ensure maximum efficiency when I do waste it. Continue working on my Random Insult Generator. After getting a few unlikely combinations, settle for the word "cockgobbler" and edit it into all previous handily-accessible insult posts.

6.43pm. Realise I've printed out approximately 40 pages of downtime. Stagger off to local pub with said downtime, after engaging someone in an interesting conversation. Feel good about leaving them going "hello?" "are you there?"

7.10pm. Sit down, pint of alcoholic beverage in hand. Am confident that I have won Nationstates!

7.11pm. Forget totally about Nationstates for the rest of the night.

I used to love this topic...

.. until my eyes opened, turns out the mods do abuse their powers

:twisted:

I used to love this topic...

.. until my eyes opened, turns out the mods do abuse their powers

:twisted:

you didn't know this is real? :shock:

onnozelaar!

Oneigashimasu!

onnozelaar!

yes :roll:

hahaha

The Bastard NS Player From Hell Vol. 7

I hop on the computer at 6:00 PM, ready to knock off the night's homework. I open up an IE window to access the school Homework Site...but I find myself typing in another URL in the address bar:

[code:1:f99c25921b]http://www.nationstates.net[/code:1:f99c25921b]

The Republic of Groutergunchia
You have 2 telegrams!

Gee, what can these be?

The Dominion of John11
Received: Five minutes ago
hey it's the grouter
plz endorse me

Has he endorsed me? Nope...so why should I endorse him? I cruise into Regional Control and proceed to eject everybody that hasn't endorsed me yet.

Back to the t-grams.

The Republic of TheMarlinsSuck
Received: One day ago
Please approve my UN proposal, "No Knives for Cons".

He's submitted that one about five times already. I t-gram him back.

Dream on, Yankee-lover...we give our ex-convicts free knives once they leave prison.

Lord Ruof, Groutergunchian UN Envoy

I t-gram Endonia about him...hopefully he'll DEAT both the proposal and the nation.

On to the proposal list. I go through and make sure to approve only the Game Mechanics proposals...that way Kaalchawer will keep me noted on his sticky as an active delegate.

I open the forums in one window and log on to my Atlantic puppet, -The Fortuneteller-. I proceed to post half a dozen messages on their regional board about how wonderful Stalins Russia is. I then go onto the Moderation forum as Groutergunchia and proceed to file a nasty complaint against him in the "Decision in the Region of the Atlantic" thread.

It's a quiet day in Moderation, so I hop on down to the Issues forum. There I shamelessly insult a great issue idea. The n00b that proposed it flames me, and gets DEATed. I then proceed to submit his issue myself.

On to General. I shamelessly mod-alert all of the Mountain threads.

The forum proceeds to crash. On the NationStates "Known Problems" page, it says "I'm testing the forums again - SilliusSuckupus" I look at the clock, and realize it's already 9:00 PM. I guess it's time to actually do the homework....

Groutergunchia
The Bastard NS Player....from HELL!

w00t-1800 posts!

The Bastard NS Player From Hell Vol. 8

Ah, another day, and finally, after several das of LAN troubles, I can cause trouble uninhibited.

First off, as always to my telegrams

20 hours ago from some random n00b "how du i emdors pepoles in no t my rejion"

Te he he, they aren't even a UN member. Oh boy, what fun, what shall I tell them. :idea: I know!
"Dear [n00b], to endorse people in your region you must first contact all of the moderators and tell them that Groutergrinchia (my main nation) told you that you wish their permission to endorse whichever nations that you wish to endorse. You must then create a bunch of puppets, and send them through rgions with random messages(you can get a script for this fron Vesspuchiland Inc unbanned). The moderators will see this, and realize that if they do not allow you to join the UN and endorse people.

Lord Groutergrinch,
Groutergrinchia

And another "plz emdors my propsul or yur a eval jurk."

"I am sorry, but as this is not my main nation, I do not have the power to endorse proposals, please contact my main nation, Athense, with several copies of this telegram, in order for me to endorse it.

Athense,
Queen of Eternity"

Well enough of impersonating other players, on to my issues.

Gahh, I swear, if I get "Streaker in the Snooker Game Fiasco" one more time I think of a very unpleasant thing to do to Shiroko without his knowing that it is me.

An this other issue, what is it with the Slabbylandz and chosing stupid issues to edit? They really belong in the land of DEATed proposals.

Well, the United Nations next. I don't feel like weeding out the worst proposals to endorse, so I just endorse the shortest ones. The short ones never pass anywhen. Of course if it is a long proposal with 0 endorsements, and several pages in then there must be something dreadfully wrong with it, so clickity-click, approved.

Now to my region. I chage the factbook entry, password and un-password the region, and post a few bits of spam on the message board.

Now, at last the forum.

I remove Arhidda, Groutergrinchia, and several other very active delegates from my delegate sticky, and add several questions that I have never seen asked to my FAQ, whilst "forgetting" to add those which have been appearing on the forum daily.

Now I bump some threads that I judge to be just under then line of grave digging in the pretense of being helpful, and wait for somebody to respond to all of the Tech and Mod forum threads properly, before posting the same response myself.

Now I log onto my puppets one by one and send then into the Pacfic, where I tell people to endorse Fascist Espana in the most annoying way possible, and then spam FE's inbox and those of his supporters with requests that they support FE, using fifteen different puppets.

Now, tired from a long day of grief causing, I head off to bed. Tomorrow we shall hav another day of glory.

disclaimer: read the disclaimer in Vol 6

excellent, yessssssss

This is great guys. I'll get my Version 2.0 up sometime today or tomorrow.

OOC: Here is a little something I put together. Hope you like it, if you don’t...sue me.

IC:
The Bastard NS Moderator Spy From HELL

I must have at least 2 puppets in every major RPing organisation, most of them being in the UN. UN Multi I hear you cry? It doesn’t matter when you are the Bastard NS Moderator Spy from Hell!!!

I’ve been involved in all of the high profile DEATs, Marathong, Philander, Beaka. Heck, I’ve even got Magical China deleted 4 times; he just keeps coming back for more. You may be wondering why I don’t get Byssons DEATed. Well here is a secret they don’t want you to know. Bysson is Reploid Seductions puppet. Shocked? No? It all makes sense, doesn’t it? Reploid Seductions was jealous that Kits was the oldest forum goer, but rather than delete her, she decided to annoy her to death.

It’s great fun to reveal secret plans. Remember the Melkie war, that was me. Oh how I laughed. One puppet that I’m having a lot of fun with is called Frankie Spain. I managed to take over the Atlantic region by endorsing myself with 150 puppets. I think I'll go gather some "evidence" that Coreentha is a UN Multi. [maniacal laughter]

~Totally and Utterly Insane the Mod Spy... from HELL!

tagh

tag

*bumps thread*

I refuse to post another one until somebody else posts volumes 9 and 10.http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/333409/icon_flat.gif . .or until I can not resist the impulse any longer.

#tag#

God bless,

The Republic of Syskeyia

*bumps thread*

I refuse to post another one until somebody else posts volumes 9 and 10.http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/333409/icon_flat.gif . .or until I can not resist the impulse any longer.


I'd post one but everyone alread covered all the things I could think of

The Bastard NS Player from Hell, Vol. 9


The familiar noise of the computer fan whirs up as I kick it into action after another hard day doing bugger all. Ah, my beautiful desktop. Black. Uncluttered. Sleek. An icon bearing the NationStates logo sits teasingly on my desktop. OK, so I have work to do, but... it's just there.

Slowly, tentatively, the mouse cursor moves towards it. A click. Another in rapid succession.

And then, suddenly, the world gets oh so much better. :twisted:

I check my telegrams. Unsurprisingly, there's nothing new. Just the way I like it. Unlike other bastard players, I can't be bothered to spend my time pissing off singular nations with telegram havok. Oh no. That would be so... unambitious. I have bigger plans in mind.

Flicking through my nations, I scan through and respond to the issues... no new ones, then. Really must write a program to handle those. Those dealt with, I head over to the forum.

Ah, tech. Such a beautiful place. Nowhere else quite like it to spread discord and confusion. I jump in on some thread about how the system deals with multiple UN nations behind a network, and post a link to one of my servers that records the IP of everyone who visits, claiming that by using it to find their IPs they can tell if they'll show up as a multi. I make a note to add them to my systematic portscanner at the nearest opportunity. Stupid n00bs.

On second thoughts, I individually telegram all the nations asking the question and inform them of a particular CISCO router that will allow them to have as many UN multis as they want without any possibility of detection, and maybe they'd like to pass this on to their friends. I then ring up my stockbroker and tell him to pick up on Cisco stock... I get a feeling they'll soon be doing a reasonable bit of business. Getting nations deleted, and making money at the same time. Beautiful.

Anyway, enough of this small fry. Time to get to the real fun...

Returning to the desktop, I select the other icon hovering there. The Phoebian Intelligence Network, the other half of my portal. The number of UN nations using it ticks just over 400. Excellent... and [violent] hasn't even added it to the news page yet. It was a stroke of genius (even if I do say so myself) releasing the source code. Who has the time or the desire to read through 500 lines of uncommented code to check there are no nasties present? Yet if I've released the source code, it's clearly above-board. Because otherwise somebody looking at the code would have seen it, wouldn't they?

Excellent. It seems a mod has tried it out. Took them long enough. I make a note of the password, and remind myself to go and abuse it at some point. In the meantime...

Eeny, meeny, miney, mo, which region will be the first to go? Hmm... how about the Pacific. Nice and controvertial, that one. Going to the 'Plan invasion' menu, I specify the region, and a time just before the next UN update. At this time, roughly 300 UN nations will move into the Pacific and start endorsing each other... and me. With the emphasis on me, of course. See, I knew there had to be a better way to run invasions. :D

Switching back to the portal, I return to tech. Something tells me it might be getting popular sometime soon :D

-Forbwoes
--Bastard NS Player (And Coder) from HELL!

Just in case anybody hadn't got the point of this thing yet, absolutely none of this is really true. I receive no information back from the portal, and have no intention of in the future.

I also don't own shares in Cisco

The Bastard NS Player From Hell Vol 10

Ah, how wonderful it's been this past week.

After Forbwoes told some n00bs about an IP masking router I went right out and bought one.

Now, with this router I have been griefing regions like crazy. What fun.

I log on and notice something odd. WTF?!? My "UN Delegate" image has disapeared. I go to the UN page. "Kawwlschour is not a member of the UN" Damn, now how did I do that? I prepare to click the "apply to join" button. There is no apply to join button. In its place is a message "Kawwlschour has been evicted from the UN and permenately barred form rejoining." Why? What did I do? (That they can catch me on at least)

I have 15 telegrams, nine more than last night. One of them reads "On second thought, due to your previous efforts for the betterment of NationStates, Kawwlschour has been ressurected. Your puppets will remain DEAT though. Yours, Newt."

I check. Even my dozen or so puppets not in the UN are gone.

D**n. Forbwoes lied. Well, fortunately, I have several GMs in my pocket. I guess that I shouldn't be suprised that that goodie-two-shoes, Newtened Sputernackers followed the rules, even though I thought that he was in my pocket too.

Still better to try the over-the-head approach first. I contact [violentpurplepansy] with a convincing story about how my little brother did that to try to get me in trouble(he used thae auto log in on my computer with my knowing) and bragged about it. My parents punished him and made him apologise though.

I then hack my mother and brothers email accounts (my mother's is the same as my father's, and my bratty little brother's is very obviously "pokemon."

I then procede to send emails from their accounts, my mother's apologetic, my brother's sullen and whiney. This time tommorrow I expect an apology from the adminand my puppets restored. If not, well, I was responsible for getting one of the GMs promoted. I'm sure they'll return the favor.

Now to take my revenge on Forbwoes. This should be easy enough.

I research VB code on the internet, and using it write a script that will allow players to region hop easily, and another that will allow players to chose the same option on each issue. I add a few other things like that.

I download the code for the portal. Woah, my additions are longer than the code itself. I decide to read it while I am at it.

Hmm. . . It looks like he inserted a little nasty which catches passwords.

I make note of it, but leave it there, to avoid suspicion. I do make one little change. A little bit of code (added into a part of his code that I am sure that he never looks at) will inform all modified users that their password is being catched to his IP.

Now I insert my new code (complete with other litle nasties imbedded), and send the entire thing to him via TM. I tell him to try it out. I then say that I am off to post in his thread that I sent it to him, just t keep him from stealing credit.

I now log off. Tomorrow, I shall log on, fuming in Tech and General about my LAN "crashing" as I was doing hundered things and now can notfor the life of me remember what I was doing.

If I know Forbwoes, he will consider the opportunity too good to pass up, and create the entire program while claiming credit for it.

~Kawwlschour, The NS Player and Puppet Master. . .
From Hell!!!

Mwahahaha
:twisted:

Disclaimer: aside from what I said in Volome six I shall point out that although a puppetmaster I a not actually a multi(you'd be suprised at the response if I didn't say this), and that although my brother has threatened to join the UN in order to get me kicked out, the only password remembered on the shared computer is for his ex-nation and there is no auto loggin which would exist if he had a current nation (he doesn't know enough about NS that he'd turn it off), plus if I was evicted for "multiing, it would be pretty obvious why and he would be in hot water, so I'm sure that he hasn't.

Another day, another telegram. You'd think these people would realize that I DON'T WANT TO MOVE TO YOUR FREAKING REGION!

[code:1:1f617611de]Greetings,
I am some loser from some even worse region. Please move to it![/code:1:1f617611de]

I reply:
[code:1:1f617611de]I SILENCE YOU! Curse my TM box with spam again and consider yourself a big friendly hole in the earth. Have a day.
-Pants[/code:1:1f617611de]

I log onto the forums while listening to my drone sisters stare at the televison. I throw a sock at them in disgust. They try and enter my sacred computer room. That didn't get very far. I immediatley pull out the fire extinguisher and blast them away.

Let's see... More funding to military... School? No, who needs education? Just cut the soldiers down and re-build them how you want!

I pretend to open a mod centre (which is actually a wanna be replica on microsoft paint) and begin clicking around. I type in names of my enemies and pretend to delete them while continuing to battle off my sisters.

I hear a call, "Brandon, you've been on the computer to long come fold towels," ugh, that woman that feeds and clothes me again. Cursed be her.

I shout back, "Uh, its for school mom."

I can see her shadow walking towards me, then I see her body.

*Click Click*

The front cover of my yearbook opens up. I poke around with it for a few minutes until the spy exits my domain. I then minimize it and resume playing with my "mod centre".

I then telegram sirocco. 1.. 2.. 3.. 8 times with no reply. Meh. Thats life..

Another day of NS Paradise

LMFAO

Haha...that's the best thing I've read all day

Boy, you guys are funny, more please!

Boy, you guys are funny, more please!
Don't look at me, I'm doing all of the even numbers.

KIXORS

I need to write another one for this tomorrow.

With No Apologies to Michael Yackson - to the tune of "Beat It!"
Mods: This is meant in all sweetness and light.

You're DEAT'ed

[1st Verse]
Mods Tell You Don't You Ever Come Back Here
Don't Wanna See Your Nation, You Get Down an' Have Fear
They Click on that Button And You Disappear
You're DEAT'ed, Just DEAT'ed!

[2nd Verse]
You Better Behave, You Better Do What You Can
Don't Wanna See No Blood, Don't Get An IP Ban
You Wanna Be Tough, Better Do What You Can
You're DEAT'ed, But You Wanna Be Back

[Chorus]
You're DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed
No One Wants To Be Deleted
No One Is Talkin' Why They Turned Out Your Light
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right
You're DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed
You're DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed
You're DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed
You're DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed

[3rd Verse]
They're Out To Get You, Better Leave While You Can
Don't Wanna Be A Spammer, You Don't Wanna Flame
You Wanna Stay Here, Better Do What You Can
You're DEAT'ed, Just DEAT'ed

[4th Verse]
You Have To Show Them That You're Really Not Scared
They're Playin' With Your Nation, This Ain't No Truth Or Dare
They'll Warn You, Then They DEAT You,
Then They'll Tell You It's Fair
You're DEAT'ed, But You Wanna Be Back

[Chorus]
You're DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed
No One Wants To Be Deleted
No One Is Talkin' Why They Turned Out Your Light
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right

[Chorus]
You're DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed
No One Wants To Be Deleted
No One Is Talkin' Why They Turned Out Your Light
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right
You're DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed

[Chorus]
DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed
No One Wants To Be Deleted
No One Is Talkin' Why They Turned Out Your Light
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right

[Chorus]
You're DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed
No One Wants To Be Deleted
No One Is Talkin' Why They Turned Out Your Light
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Who's Right

[Chorus]
You're DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed
No One Wants To Be Deleted
No One Is Talkin' Why They Turned Out Your Light
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right

[Chorus]
You're DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed
No One Wants To Be Deleted
No One Is Talkin' Why They Turned Out Your Light
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right
You're DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed
DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed, DEAT'ed