To the best of your ability... (Private Klonor and Jim RP)
He rose from his chair, "...And that's why, that is why dissidents are no more honorable than common criminals, That is why you must resist the call to arms by these, terrorists! Thank you, May the light of Jimathon and God shine on you, Amen."
"Amen," agreed the crowd.
"Thank you," He walked away from the crowd of 3 million, feeling quite happy with himself. This trip was a sroke of genus! To go to his friendliest allies nation and preach his word, scince he had arrived 10 million had heard him speak, he was happy indeed.
As he walked to his car to go to the capital for some drinks, he noticed a shadow in the corner of the alley way, "Ed, go see what that..."
It was all he managed to say.
The Duke sat down in his chair, relaxing at the end of a hard day. It had a been a strenuous time, what with the recent civil war, the ongoing war with Arbra, and numerous other factors, and he was glad to have a few minutes to himself.
Unfortunately, state affairs never respect those few minutes.
"What is it?"
"Sir, this a good news/bad news message. The good news is that the Jimathon preachings have been going quite well."
"Excellent. I knew it'd be a good idea to let him come over. He needs to travel more. Coming back from the dead has to be very stressful."
"Yes, sir. Unfortunately, the good news ends there."
"Well, what's the bad news?"
"Emperor Jimathon is....well......um.......he's missing."
"What?"
"Right after his rally. He was walking to his car when he just vanished from sight."
"Oh &%$@! This is just what I need. Have you checked the bars?"
"Yes, sir. He's not there."
"Damn. This can't be good. Contact the Jimathon government, we need to figure this thing out."
The Deputy-advisor to the director of international affiars collapsed into his chair, "Steve won't like this."
"So, You really should tell him."
"Can't the director do it?"
"You wish, but he's with Jimathon."
His face turned an odd shade of green/God help me, "Call the Presedent."
"He's on the line," And pissed you woke him up, the aide didn't add.
The Deputy picked up the phone, "Mr. President, It's Jimathon, he's gone."
"........."
"Sir? Did you hear me? Jimathon has dissapered after giving a speech on..."
"Shut Up! Activate emergincy protocol Omega. Call Klonor! Get me a scotch!"
OOC: Is it just me, or is every world leader in this game an alcoholic?
IC:
"Klonor here, what the hell's going on? Jimathon just disappears and then I get some "Omega Protocol" sent from you. And unless we're discussing very bad old T.V. shows I have no idea what you're talking about. Now explain what the hell is happening or so help me I will"
What the Duke would have done we shall never know, for the information he gets from the Jimathonian at the other end of the line shocks him into silence.
"Look, He's gone. Jimathon is gone. Missing, Poof!" He took a slug of the scotch, "And he's gone in your country, Omega protocol is simple, you have one hour, then the council will be forced to declare war on the Klonor empire. I don't want it, you don't want it. But, well, that's the law. So I think I really only have one thing to say." Another drink, "You are the leader of a soverign nation, but I will personally shove my foot up your ass if you had ANYthing to do with this!!!!"
He turned it off, and vomited.
OOC: Is it just me, or can no Jimathonians hold their liquor? Seriously, they've got less tolerance than a 10 year old child
IC:
"You get him back on the line NOW! You tell him that if he sends one ship in any Klonor system, I will have the entire GA fleet screaming down on his neck! You got that? Good. Now what the hell do you want?"
The last, addressed to a messenger who'd just entered, was answered by a very timid, newly hired boy who never dreamed he'd be talking to the Duke.
"Sir, your Dukeness, oh great and wise"
"Just spit it out!"
"Sir, we have a message from the Sons of Dor!"
"What the ***** are you talking about? We ******** them ****** in the ******** years ago. They're nothing but a pice of ****** now that I wouldn't use to ******** my **********."
"be that as it may, they've sent a message. They claim to have captured Emperor Jimathon."
"Oh shoot (even the Dukes large swearing vocabulary couldn't express his feelings here). You (to the communications officer)! Get on the horn to whoever the hell I just spoke to. Tell them to look under the files "Destiny" in the Jimathon computer files. That'll explain everything. God help us all."
"A ten year old terrorist attack? That will explain everything?"
"It the group that perpatrated it, Sir, the Sons of Dor, They claim to have Jima.."
"Get General Matric, Activate ready ships and put them to cloak, open a channel to the Duke!"
"Open, Sir."
"Sorry about that...colorful, remark I made. I think you're right about this, but still...What can we do? Is there a ransom? Can we send in spec ops?"
While he talked his hand fumbled with a command computer under his desk, he was relaying orders to cloak and have the Destiny II in Klonor Space in 10 minutes.
"Well?..."
Garrison II
09-10-2003, 03:22
Just a friendly suggestion add small minor things like emotions things like that, those little things make a rp intresting
OOOC: Jim, a long time ago you gave me the techn ology to be able to detect your ships even if they're cloaked. I can't tell where they are or see them (that would defeat the purpose of the cloak) but I can detect their general area. Including if they've entered my systems.
OOOC: Jim, a long time ago you gave me the techn ology to be able to detect your ships even if they're cloaked. I can't tell where they are or see them (that would defeat the purpose of the cloak) but I can detect their general area. Including if they've entered my systems.
Oh well than, for all intensive purposes, that never happened. It's more interesting that way.
OOC: Normally I wouldn't have brought that up, but I have no ships except some fighters and a corvette or two in my systems. I just don't feel comfortable with somebody elses ships in them, even if they are friendly.
IC:
"I don't know what we can do. I, and Jimathon, thought they were all dead after the incident. So far we haven't received a ransom, and we have no clue where they're located. However, I (and by "I" I mean people who work for me) have numerous contacts in some of the more shady Klonor areas. I'll see what we can find out."
Communication Closed
To the ranking officer still here (he's not that high ranking)
"What infantry forces do we still have here?"
"Not much, sir. Just the 3'rd Marine regiment and the reserves. Everything else is out killing Arbra."
"Get the 3'rd regiment out of the barracks and ready for a mission. As soon as we find out where Jimathon is I want them to blow that place to hell and back. Oh, and make sure they get Jimathon out first."
Jimathon screamed with agony, "AGGGAA!!! NOO!!!! DAMN YOU!!!!!"
"You SHUT UP! Shut Up!!! You're not in fairy land with your might army backin you up, you're in our territory now," The menace in his voice made Jimathon shudder. He reaplied the high energy tazer.
Then he began to cry, for the first time in his life he began bawling like there was no tomorrow. For him, there wasn't a tomorrow...
"Aggg! You canniving *******! AGGG!!!" He passed out, and blood began to trickle from his ears...and eyes...and mouth...
OOC: Ouch.
OOC: It seems that his Jimliness is a bit of a pansy :lol:
IC:
Corporal Harland, back from recon of the outskirts of the city, reports into his commanding officer.
"We found nothing out of the ordinary. Just the usual scum trying to kill each other off (this is a bad part of town, mainly populated by lower class criminals and petty thugs)."
"Are you sure? Nothing out of the ordinary? No weird screams? No absence of screams?"
"Actually, there was this place down on 79^32 street. Proky's Bar and Grill. It actually seemed like a legitimate business."
"What? And you didn't report this back in right away?"
"Well, the news said that the social programs were working out really well. I thought that maybe some civilisation had crept back into the area."
"What, are you stoned? Since when is the news report worth a damn? Get a squad down there and bust that place open! Now damnit!"
The Corporal decided that he better go get a squad together.
OOC: You'd cry too and you know it.
On the Destiny II
"Sir, we have intercepted a report from the surface, It appears they think he might be being held in...a.."
"A what?!?" The captian yelled, clearly Uber-pissed at how his day had gone from average to instant hell.
"A...legitimate business, sir."
He busted a gut immediatly, "A *laugh* Legitimate Business? I'm sure the Duke runs his country so poorly that alegitimate business is so out of the ordinary as to be suspect! *laugh*"
"Acctually sir, think the red light disctrict of Seron, times infinity minus one. It is that bad."
"Ah, well then. Keep an eye on it, and tell Steve about it."
"Sir, he's not Steve any more."
"Huh?!?"
"In the abscence of the Emporer, he has been promoted for the interm to Steveolemue, Emperor of the Holy Land of Jimathon."
"****." Was all he could say. This was getting serious, FAST!
OOC: Damn staright I'd cry. But, as a great Selachee once said, "Pointing at the mud on anothers fins wont improve your own swimming"
IC:
"Steve, is that you? What's with the getup? You look like Jimathon. Actually, never mind that for now. We think we know where Jimathon is, but we don't have the miltary force to handle the group. We need a group of Jimathon marines here, now, so that we can get in, out, and on with life."
OOC: A great man also said "Shut Up." That man was me.
IC: "On with life would be good wouldn't it? OK, you got your troops, the Gustonian division will be sent abord a fleet of Shebas, I do hope that will do, for Jim's sake." He hesitated and decided that he didn't really hope for his escape, being emperor was kinda nice. (Note: Future RP?)
______________________________________
Jimathon had managed to regain his composer, or as least as much composer as could be summoned at a time like this. He bagan to take note of his surroundings, a rather shoddy building, had a minifrisge though, so it couldn't be all bad.
"What are you going to do with me?" He asked, rather weakly.
"......" They didn't respond.
"HEY! You! Listen to... *ZAP*...AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!...I guess I had that coming...AHHHHH!!!!"
OOC: I was actually about to have my guy make some insinuations that your new guy might have something to do with the kidnapping, but I thought it'd be better to wait for a new RP
IC:
"Those Marines should be enough. The Dorians can't have much of a military, we really trashed them last time. When will they be getting here?"
(insert response here)
"Okay, we'll have the police make a cordon around the building and wait for your troops."
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"Listen, I don't like how they do things around here. But, it's necessary. We need to know what you know, and we need to know it now. So, let's start from the beginning, and this time, why don't you loosen up a bit."
With that the two thugs behind the man raise the controls they have in their hands.
"Listen, I don't like how they do things around here. But, it's necessary. We need to know what you know, and we need to know it now. So, let's start from the beginning, and this time, why don't you loosen up a bit."
With that the two thugs behind the man raise the controls they have in their hands.
OOC: I'll be there in an hour NS time. Who's the guy? Is it Jimathon?
The guy speaking is the guy interrogating Jimathon. I probably should have specified that.
"Look...you...I...can't...tell...about...." Jimathon was bleeding out of his pores, it was a very unpleasant sight.
"TELL US!"
"No...nooooo...Uggggg......" Jimathon went limp for a minute, then, in a heartbeat, went into shock.
____________________________________
On the Destiny II:
"Think he'll mind?" The captian always ran things by his senor officers.
"No sir," The XO answered, "I think he'll just find it to be another surprise in a day of many."
"Well then, Deploy the onboard troops and fighters. Decloak. And send a message to the ground, 'surprise!'"
OOC: Where is the Dstiny II? I mean which system, and where in the system. It should probably be away from any inhabited planet, since if it's close the Harbingers will blow it to hell before it gets a message off
OOC: Where is the Dstiny II? I mean which system, and where in the system. It should probably be away from any inhabited planet, since if it's close the Harbingers will blow it to hell before it gets a message off
OOC: Your capital, and I hadn't concidered that, Oh well, let's roll with it. Come on, Let's put some harbringers on a Kabal class for a couple of minutes!
Wait, what?
Let's say I hadn't remembered you might react, badly. So you spring into action and we have a minor space battle for a few minutes, roll with it when I screw up! And I'm over your capital planet, the one Jimathon's on.
Okay. Just remember, I have almost no space force here. It's basically just gonna be my very big orbital guns blowing the hell out of you
IC
"Sir, we have a ship in system!"
"What, where?"
"In direct orbit! They're over the capital!"
"Hell! Retargte the orbitals, I want a full salvo. (That's 50 gigatons). Kill this ship quick."
The massive Harbinger Cannons, capable of launching a Harbinger Warhead at .999999999 light speed every 4 seconds, rotate in space and speed death at the trespassing Jimathon ship.
"RED ALERT!" The captian just realized his idea had a major flaw.
"Aye."
"Open vents, create a shield cloud. Aim colostimisers at the main cannons!"
*Boom sound would be an understatement*
"Damage report!" The Captian yelled, realizing his arm was a couple of yards away from where it should be.
"Forward decks, and Ministar vents! Begining emergincy MSII shutdown."
"Open a channel get a message out!"
"No can *BOOM!* do, lost coms."
"Recloak, Get us out of here!" He had made a huge mistake indeed.
___________________________________
On the Sheba class Eddo, Desending to the planet.
"What the Hell's going on?!?"
"Cannons, sir!"
"IDIOTS! We're friendlies!" The captian shouted at the window, as though it could do something about the current situation.
"Send a com to the ground, tell them it's US!"
"Done, sir!"
Then the Eddo exploded, heading twards the planet at a couple thousand MPH.
"Sir, we're getting a message from the descending Shebas."
"Well, what're they saying?"
"Oh ****, they say that's a Jimathon ship up there!"
"What? Cease fire, now! Setonate any warheads already on route. This is not good."
"Sir, we're getting a message from the Duke. He doesn't sound happy."
"no, I'll bet he doesn't"
The commander slowly walks to his office, preparing himself for a not very happy time.
OOC: you deserve a hard time, shooting at my ducks....
I need you to do something before I can go again. Jim's in shock, the Destiny is half dead and dloating and Steveolemue is running amok, I need you to storm the building or have some kinda Jimathonish plot twist.
"You've put up a very good fight. I'll give you that. Our energy bill will be very high this year. However, it's useless to go on. Are you ready to talk now?"
"Fine, I'll (sob) tell you what you (sob) need to know." Jimathon then leans to the side and reaches until the walls of his stomach are worn thin.
"Excellent. Jarol, tell the Duke we have the information."
OOC: In case you missed it, this reveals that the men who captured and tortured Jimathon are actually working for me
OOC: I'm rubbing off on you.
IC: Stevolemue looked at the panel, then brought his head up, the exact same way Jimathon did.
"They WHAT?!?"
"Attacked, Your Steveness, but to be fair, we were unexpected intruders in thier space."
"SO WHAT?!? That give them the right to kill my men?!?"
"That's a trick question."
"YOU'RE FIRED!" He yelled in exactly the same way pillows don't, "Get me the Duke, and send the rest of the Gustonians, He's obviously bungling this op like only a five year old could."
*Beep* "He's on the com, You holiness."
"Duke, What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Hold on Jarol, there's somebody on the other line."
The communication officer manipulates some complex controls, enters some figures into a computer, hands the Duke the martini that pops out, and then flips the switch that puts the other line on.
"Me? You're ships just appear in my space and begin launching troops! I thought we were being invaded! Consider yourself lucky that didn't blow up the entire fleet!"
Listens to something off-screen
"And we've got some bad news. That restaurant that we thought was the hideout was actually a restaurant. It seems that all the press releases about the improvement of society were actually true."
"Don't **** this Up Duke, There are ten million people out there who want my predes..." He cought himself, "...my Boss back and drinking Elarian Ale on the job, then vomiting! Look at that!," He turns the camera to point at the GIGANTIC vigil being conducted outside, "Stop screwing up Duke, or we'll have to fix it." He turned off the com and grinned, he had his plan formed, and soon his power would be consolidated...perminantly.
____________________________________________________
Jimathon had absolutely no control over what he was thinking or saying, the only thought in his mind was, "I sure could use a drink right now."
He looked at his captors, "What do you want to know?"
OOC: Everyone has shadowy intentions, what happened to good ol fashioned hostage rescue?
"You want to fix this? Well bring it on bitch! I'm sick of you, and your third rate country. You people constantly screw up, and you always come to me for help. Hell, Jimathon even shot me once! Either start showing a bit more respect or I'll show you what a true monarch can do."
The Duke turned off the com and grinned, his plan was coming off perfectly and he would soon be Solomon Klonor, Duke of the Klonor Empire and Emperor of Jimathon.
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"That's much better. First, we want to know the location of every major Jimathon military base. Second, the basic defense plans for an assault on your homeworld. Third, where's your liquor stash?"
OOC: The "good ol fashion" rescue went out when you bacme a God for your nation
OOC: Oh...God...My simple RP has gone from a bad situation to hell in a handbasket. Oh, and third rate? You really want a fight, don't you?
IC: Jimathon blinked, a lot. "You want those? Why? You have no navy?"
*Punch*
"Oh, that's why. Well, the liquor is kept under my big chair, in a minifridge. I have outposts on... Wait? No! I can't get past why you would want to know this! You're those Dor guys, your beef is with the Duke!"
*Punch, harder* "Shut up and TELL US!"
Jimathon's insatable curiosity took control, something clicked back into place, and he had a second wind. He had to stall, or trick them, both maybe?
"Did I ever tell you I'm a god?"
OOC: Hey, you wanted a plot twist. What did you expect?
IC:
"God? Who the hell cares? Tell us what we want to know or you'll have a face-to-face meeting with a real God."
Jimathon continues to delay and sputter, sprouting out his usual religous speeches before the interrogators get a bit fed up
"Listen. You tell us now or three of your Shebas go off course and crash right into your capital. We've already gained control, they're just waiting for the signal. Do you want to test me?
That startled Jimathon, death to others was a concept he always had trouble with, he had no problem with dieing himself, he'd just come back in a month or two like he did last time, but this was serious!
He sighed and looked around in desperation, all he saw was the com panel that these...thugs had used to talk to thier boss. He squinted and looked closer at the panel, and saw the last call readout. It said, "Klonor Government offices, ext. 984."
Jimathon screamed and was hit again, then he looked straight into the eyes of his captors, "Tell your boss he's nothing more than a annoying pussbag who doesn't deserve to lick my nuts! Oh, and tell him I spell his country K-L-O-N-EEEEEEEEE-R! You know what, use the Shebas, I know Steve and I know what he'll do, Use THEM! I DARE YOU! Or do you not have the gugungas?" He smiled before the electric tazer was applied again.
OOC: You seem a bit to focused on peoples gugungas. Perhaps a bit of your RL personality seeping in?
IC:
"You don't think we have the gugungas? Idiot. Jekel, call Himskil. Tell him to implement the project. And cut the sensor lines, I don't want Steve knowing what's going on. Jim, remeber that Manifest incident? Ever wonder how we managed to hijack your fleets flagship? We have contacts in your command. Your people wont be able to do a damn thing. Unless you TELL US WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW!"
"WHY? SO YOU CAN KILL MY PEOPLE ANYWAYS?!? Go copulate with yourself!"
______________________________________________________
Jimathon Central Command:
Stevolemue looked at the war panel, "Can we do it?"
"Yes, sir. As soon as we have the order half our total ships will decloak, and disable his planetary defences before they can react, we can then bombard the planet to hell and back....You Steveliness, why are we making this plan?"
"Why do you think, they obviously staged the "kidnapping" thing so they could kill Jimathon."
"You don't believe that, do you, sir?"
"No, but it makes an excellent rationale for war, no?"
"But the GA!"
"**** the GA, we can set him up! Those idiots won't know the difference!"
"Ah....wait...what?"
"What?"
"The sensors are down Sir."
"Well, what are you waiting for? RED ALERT!"
OOC: I don't like how well you had this planned out, you're good. I'm lucky.
OOC: Wow, a post without the word "gugungas". I'm shocked.
And I'm making this up as I go along, this hasn't been planned out.
IC:
"Wrong thing to say. Himskil, drive those things straight down their throats."
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On board the (insert name here) Sheba vessel Himskil ignores the blaring alarms and enters the final few commands.
"Okay, is the phase gate set up? Excellent. After I set the auto-pilot we'll hop in, jump to the Quick (a cloaked Fenris class Cruiser) and head for the Jimathon homeworld."
With that he sets off the engines and the three Shebas speed forward on a direct course for the capital.
OOC: When You strike and Steve gives the go ahead, this RP ends and the War begins.
Oh, and I can't do anything till you drop the Shebas.
Dude, I really don't want an actual war. Besides us being kicked out of the GA and all that there's the fact that right now I don't have anything to fight a war with. All my fleet (what's left of it) is at Arbra. I have no offensive capabilities. A war is something I don't want.
Dude, I really don't want an actual war. Besides us being kicked out of the GA and all that there's the fact that right now I don't have anything to fight a war with. All my fleet (what's left of it) is at Arbra. I have no offensive capabilities. A war is something I don't want.
Awww, I had cool lines picked out and eveything. Well, that's where the RP's heading, not a lot I can do.
Can't we have some miraculous diplomatic maneuver that has us come out being great friends and Steve being crusified?
Can't we have some miraculous diplomatic maneuver that has us come out being great friends and Steve being crusified?
Not while I'm captured, I suggest you bring me up to your chambers.
I'll see how it turns out. But the Shebas are still on their way, you need to do something that makes them not kill a lot of people.
IC:
"Sir, we're not getting anywhere with Jimathon. We got the location of his liquor stash, but that's it."
"Damn fools. Well, what do you want me to do? Go down there and help you beat him up?"
"No, sir. But maybe you could convince him to talk?"
"Fine, whatever. Just get him up here."
"So... Shame after all that fun I've had on your planet we have to meet like this." Jimathon stared at his counterpart with worn, tired eyes, "I don't suppose you have a reason for calling me up here? Oh, and do you have anything to drink?"
_____________________________________________________
Seron City
Steveolemue hit the emergincy defence network button, activating the many cannons and ships that keep the Empire safe.
"I read that Manifest document thorowly, and I remember that right before the attack began the sensors went down." Stevolemue said.
"So, maybe it's a coincidence." Generl Matric voiced.
"Not with these guys, they probably still have all the same connections they had for the Manifest thing."
"Well, sir, what are they going to do? Attack? They have no ships?"
"Wrong my friend, dead wrong. Begin an Empire wide role call. I bet we have some traitors in our mist. Oh, and tell the fleet surrounding Klonor to get ready to fire, and hold till my mark."
"You're awfully calm for what's happening, sir."
"I watched Jimathon alot," And I'm ready to take his place he didn't add.
"Fun, FUN? Are you ****ing me? I've had nothing but pain and grief ever since I met you! Your ship tries to blow me up. You shoot me. And a hell of a lot of other stuff as well. I'm tired of it, and I'm pissed. I'm taking you out of the picture. But, I'll need some information first. So, are you willing to talk?"
As he speaks he slowly sips his martini, holding it just out of Jimathons reach.
OOC: Didn't my, not your, sensors go down before the Manifest attack?
OOC: Both, I think.
Jimathon stared at the martini, his nation was proud and mighty, his people strong. But they all had two huge weaknesses, They were all alcholic, and they all couldn't hold thier liquor. A very dangerous combination. Jimathon was a little stronger than most, after almost dieing thanks to one of those damn KlonEr scrubbers. It gave him enough reason to buck up and stand face to face with the leader, as an equal, not captor.
He realized then, as he stood up to the Duke, that he was about an inch or so taller, just ennough so that the light reflecting off of him had a rather menacing tinge as Jimathon, The greatest man his empire had ever known, stared straight at the Duke's eyes.
Jimathon thought about what he was going to say for a moment, something strong, something bold. Then he thought about his choises, talk and watch this man take his empire, or not, and watch this man wage terrorism on his empire. He was getting really pissed! When the Duke took another drink Jimathon snapped, and began to beat the shit out of the Duke in exactly the same way heads of state don't.
Dude, you're tied down.
Man, I worked hard on that post, let's say I broke the ropes out of rage.
Hell no. You may be God, but it's special anti-God rope :lol:
Seriously, there'd be dozens of guards there, would you like them to grab you and shoot you after you hit me?
Hell no. You may be God, but it's special anti-God rope :lol:
Seriously, there'd be dozens of guards there, would you like them to grab you and shoot you after you hit me?
It'd spice things up, DO IT!
Okay. I wanted you to at least still have all your limbs when this ended, but whatever
IC:
As Jimthon begins to strike the Duke, the Duke stands there and begins to laugh. After the days of malnourishment, beatings, torture, and other factors the Emperor's blows felt like a slight breeze. The Duke getsures and the twelve guards standing around the room lunge forward, hurl the emperor back into his chair, and put two bullets into each of his shins.
Jimathon wasn't in the best of shape at that point, he looked at his legs and realized that he should be feeling enormous amounts of pain, but he wasn't. It was a very odd feeling, like haaving all your nerves start dancing during an importaint speech.
"Is that all you..." Then he felt it..."AGGGGG!!! ARRRRR!!!! OUCH!!!!! YOU ^$#&^%%$*!!!!"
The Duke just kept laughing, Jimathon was tired weak, starved, and really needed a shower, and he was bleeding by the gallon. He looked at the Duke and said very calm, very composed.
"You know I'm a god? It's true, you see once upon a time...."
"Oh shut up"
The Duke steps forward, gives him two quick slaps, and backs up to refill his martini.
"I'm am so fed up with your speeches. So you're a God. Big deal. You're a God who's tied down, been beaten horribly, and has just been shot. Now, I can make what's happened to you so far seem like a mere pinprick. I can unleash such horrors as you cannot possibly comprehend. Now, tell me what I want to know or more of your people die and you spend the rest of your life in terror and pain beyond any comprehension."
OOC: Who the hell says "ouch"?
"Boy! Who pissed in your cornflakes?!? I was just trying to stall and boom, you get all high and *****y! You know what, yeah, I'M A GOD! You're a coward! And my people are ready to die, either way if I talk or don't, they die. So I figure I might as well do the godly thing. You're a religious man, right? So concider this a lesson in religious marterdom!"
You could see the fire in Jimathon's eyes as the rooms lights flikred on and off, the sky outside turned black, and Jimathon's eyes began to radiate light, blinding light. Then Jimathon turned to look at the Duke, "Yeah I'm a god! My people ought to be gods too! For they will give thier soulsto fight you, as I will!"
Then, with a great expenditure of godliness the Duke's martini glass flew from his hands, and into Jimathon's.
He took a sip, "Soooo...your move."
OOC: dramatic, eh?
Still tied up. Your hand wouldn't reach your mouth
Still tied up. Your hand wouldn't reach your mouth
Shut up, logic stopped appliying when I became "Matilda"
Fine, I'll work with it.
IC:
"Big deal, I can do that to."
the glass promptly flies from Jims hand to Klonors.
"I know about the force-field emitters implanted into your palms. I have them to. Your tricks don't amuse me.
Now, I better get in contact with Steve and finalise our plans."
Jimathon looked puzzled, how did he find that out? It was always a big hit at parties, noone ever figured it out then. Of course people weremusually drunk at his parties. Jimathon decided he was out of tricks, maybe he should talk...na...wait a while, after all, he just gave that huge spiel.
___________________________________________
Steve activated the com, "Unless you're about to tell me you found Jimathon, I'm gunna get real pissed."
"The only people here are people who are in on it. We can talk openly. Are your people ready to follow you?"
OOC:
I'm trying to make it that me and Steve are working together to increase our own power. I kidnap you, he lets me take over Jimathon, and I make him a Baron or some other thing.
And we X-rayed you when we first kidnapped you.
OOC: Sneaky.
IC: "Good, send the coordinates of the Sheba's, when I blow them up, the people will ready to follow me as the man who save them during a time of crisis. I've already garnered the votes in the council, and soon they'll swear me in as new perminant emperor. Then I turn over the fleet and swear allegance to you, like we planned. Is Jim there? tell him I'm having *vomit* Elarian Ale right now, and enjoying every minute of it.
Oh and look, I think the KIT (Kabal Intellegance and Tactical, = to CIA) is onto us, I'm having issues deturing them, but I will."
OOC: Thank you. While I would like to take credit for this particular twist I can't. This is actually a pretty old concept (it's used in novels, plays, movies, etc.)
IC:
"I think I can help you with the KIT. After you blow up the Sheba's (co-ordinates as follows) make a public announcement. Start it with the word "Hamskil" and end it with "Kabal Intelligence and Tactical". All your probelsm should be over after that. And I think Jim might want to speak to you."
The Duke moves aside and has Jim shoved in front of the camera.
Jim looked at the com panel with hatred reserved for evil stepmothers or demons, "So, the oath, huh?"
"Yep, I memorized it already, 'This Empire of Jimathon, the greatest in the galaxy I will serve, With Gusto, Strength, and fortitude. I will do as is thrust to me by God, and I will do it to the best of my ability.'" (Look! That's what the thread's called!)
"You don't understand it at all, do you?"
"To the contrary, I more than understand it would be my obligation to do what's right for my people, and the Duke is that."
"The same way poison is for a baby."
"You shut up! You fool! Didn't you see it coming?!? All the trips to Klonor! My staff keeping things so compartmentalized even you couldn't see them!"
"Actually no, but that's the ale's fault."
"Weak fool..."
"Coward."
"Duke, do me a favor, make torture EXTRA painful, especially in the gugunagas, it's a cultural thing. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a speech to make, and some ships to shoot."
OOC: Will our hero survive? Will the empire fall? All this, and more, on the next post of...this RP.
OOC: I am loving this RP, the best I've been in so far.
And again with the "gugunagas". What's up with that?
IC:
"My pleasure. Klonor out."
He turns away from the darkened screen and walks back to Jimathon.
"Don't you see, it's already over. Your Empire is now mine. Don't worry, I wont do anything to them. I'm not a cruel guy. But, some things you just have to do."
He dodges to avoid the spittle flying from Jimathons mouth
"Well, not very dignified are you? Come now, nothing you can do will stop this. Why not work with me? Tell me all the state secrets. I can make the transition a much more peacful one. maybe even give you your life, and some minor job shuffling papers. It's the best offer you'll get. Think about it."
With that the Duke leaves, leaving the men to do that which Steve has requested.
OOC: the gugungas thing is cultural, like I said. Oh, fill me in on the KIT thing, I need it in order to make my move.
Well, Hamskil is going to go to the houses of the KIT leadership when they sleep and will hit them all in the head repeatedly with a steel pipe.
Steveolemue finished his speech and walked off to his chambers, where he activated the defence cannons, and blew the crap out of some Shebas. The explosion was so great it could be heard from the subway. Air traffic was disrupted for planets, and shrapnel killed a few people on the surface. He looked to his defence council, "Send the press release out."
"Yes, your holiness"
He then procedded to walk to the council building, to the cheers and applause of a million people, praising thier hero. He didn't feel it, but it was nerviousness, he told himself. He stopped across from the Chief Speaker, and placed his hand on a bible, "'This Empire of Jimathon, the greatest in the galaxy I will serve, With Gusto, Strength, and fortitude. I will do as is thrust to me by God, and I willl do it..."
"STOP!!! NO!!!!!" yelled KIT analyst Philip Dunn, the man who would later be know as a hero, "That man is a traitor! AND I HAVE PROOF!" he said, holding a compu-report. He was then shot.
Stevolemue, holding a smoking gun said, "shall we continue?"
The Chief just nodded, it was all he could do.
"Duke, we're getting a direct transmission from Jimathon."
"Well put it on."
He walks to the nearest terminal and plugs in.
"Well, how did everything go?"
"Not as well as we could hope, There was an incident. The KIT knows, they're ready to move too. Also, I had to kill a man, My popularity has taken a huge hit from it, We can still pull off the conversion, but it will be more difficult. Duke, we're in quite a predicament." Steveolemue wsn't lieing, it was about to get even hairrier though, and Steve could feel it.
"Damnit, you should have waited until tomorrow for the coronation. Given Hamskil a chance to do his work. You had to rush things. Idiot. IS there a chance for an urpising yet?"
"Watch how you speak to me! And no, no chance. The populous has had too much to take in, they're still to confused and uninformed to get angry, We are secure, and soon I plan to speak to the GA announcing who I am. We have won Duke, we have won." The feeling of doom grew more in his gut, we wondered if the Duke felt it too.
OOC: Look's bleak, no?
OOC: I'm planning on the DUke and Steve to have a falling out. But not now, I gotta go. Good night.
Me too, great minds think alike, no?
Good night.
Where are you?
It's your turn.
Sorry, I thought it was your turn.
IC:
"If we've won why are you sweating? What aren't you telling me?"
The Duke continues to glare at the new Emperor, hoping to make him crack.
"Listen to me you little ****. I've worked hard for this. This has taken months of planning and a hell of a lot of money. Not to mention how hard it was getting an incompetent fool like you appointed deputy Emperor. Now, fix whatever problems you have, or I'll be forced to have Hamskil pay you a little visit. And no, that's not a promise. That's threat."
Steveolemue was suffering from what, in Jimathon, is known as "shame", a horrible killer in many parts of the galaxy, (get it "died of shame?" HA HA HA!) In this case it massivly affected Steve's social pattern, making him very cranky.
"No, you listen to me, ****nuts! You're saying this like I haven't given up my life for this as well! I used to have a family! And Friends! You remember friends right?!? You had one until you shot his legs up! Anf don't threaten me, I'm still emperor of a nation three times as powerful as yours, so you better suck it up, OK?!?"
Steve felt proud of himself, until he remembered why he cought it in the first place, then he felt sick again.
Meanwhile...
Jimathon tried to listen fromt he next room, but couldn't. It sounded like a muffled argument between a married couple. Jimathon was not yet striken with shame from being captured, he instead only felt pain. The kind recieved from gaping leg wounds. He looked at the guards, they seemed dumb enough, so he would go for it. He redied his force-field generator.
"You gave up your life? Are you kidding me? I saw you with your family. You were a druken fool, your wife cheated on you, and your son made more money than you did! I've made you Emperor, soon you'll be a baron. I've given you women for your bed, money for your coffers, and power. And you think the size of your nation means anything? You're even stupider than I thought. Here's a bit of a history lesson. Way back on Earyh, there was a nation called Israel. You might not have heard of it, it never grew to big. But, it was strong. Over a span of 50 years Israel fought over 20 wars against larger, older, wealthier, more powerful nations. They had experience and outnumbered it more than 10 to 1. Israel didn't lose one single war. You attack and we can and will blow the crap out of you. So don't even think about it."
He pauses for some weird noises in the next room but continues on
"I made you Emperor, and I can unmake you. Now, in 5 minutes I'm going to turn off this com and you are going to fix whatever problems you have, and you are going to show respect. Got it?"
"As I recall, Isreal had God on thier side, someone you and I are now both at serious odds with, You know what. To use my predecesors words, "**** off. You and your whole country can just **** off. Stevolemue out."
Stevolemue was very angry, just angry enough to get... some revenge. He walked to the war room, where his "insurance" was waiting for his order.
_____________________
Jimathon looked around, "Nothing like escaping from bondage via inadequitley explored reason." (I'll tell you how someday) He surveyed his situation, trapped in a palace. Enemy in next room, bar in that room as well.
"I know where I'm going" ... Jimathon picked up a guard's weapon and barged into the next room.
He saw the Duke standing at the com with a look of awe on his face. Not that Jimathon cared, his only thoughts were whether to shoot his head or his force-field creators. His set the gun to fully automatic and decided the gun would make the decision for him, he raised and fired just as the Duke was turning around.
OOC: Familiar? I would think you'd have vivid memories of me shooting you.
"Don't these idiots ever learn? Hamskil, can you hear me? Okay. The idiot just left the com room. Make sure he doesn't make it to his bedroom. Got it? His incompetence is just a pain in the a**."
He slowly turns is Jimathon bursts in, letting out a "You again?" before the automatic phase-gate beneath is feet opens and he flashes across the planet.
"Don't you ever give up?" He asks the empty air.
"Oh, well. Attention palace guard units 1-10. There's a madman loose in my quarters with a de-activetd weapon (de-activated by some of the latest Klonor defense technology). Take him prisoner, remove the force field generators in his palms, as well has the illusion enhancers in his eyes, and then hurt him a lot. Thanks a bunch."
Jimathon was starting to hate the future, with all it's secret security crap. He tossed the weapon and went to the computer panel, "Ok..Ok..What can I do?..." Jimathon looked at the buttons.
1. Drinks. (He pressed it and took the drink)
2. scrubbers (NO!!!!)
3. security panel (the hit that button and another one sprung up.)
While looking at the panel he realized that in order to acomplish anything he would have to insert the password. *Clomp, Clomp, Clomp.* Jimathon used one of his arm FF generators to keep the door shut from the Duke's *****es.
"Password, password, I know!"
He entered "Elarian Ale." Nothing happened
He tried "Scrubbers" Nothing
He tried "Issac Asimov" It opened with considerable gusto.
He activated the phase gate just as the guards broke in. He ordered an Elarian Ale at the bar he arrived in.
OOC: I think Jim has an drinking problem.
OOC: Really? Are you sure? And what about Steve?
OOC: Really? Are you sure? And what about Steve?
Ok, maybe everyone in your country and mine has one.
We got the scrubbers, at least we each still have a liver.
And you need to post what happens to Steve
We got the scrubbers, at least we each still have a liver.
And you need to post what happens to Steve
Not yet, I wanna have sone fun on the town with Jim, before the explosions happen.
But I want to know how Hamskil kills him.
IC:
"So what'll it be?"
The bartender waited for Jimathons response, completely ignoring the drink already in Jimathons hands. Upon Jimathons remarking that he already has a drink the bartender just laughs.
"You call that a drink? Here, let me make you something special. It's called the "collostomizer". It's got Elarian Ale, Vodka, Whiskey, Old Grandad's, and three shots of Scotch. It just might put some hair at the tiny thing you call a chest."
The collostomiser's from my planet barkeep, I know what it is, and what it does to ya...your...Well..." He winked. "Your little barkeep." He smiled and took a sip of his drink. "Ya know, I really need to this looked at." He pointed at his gaping gunshot wound, "It kinda hurts."
Jimathon paid for his drink and headed off twards the local brothel, Jimathon only needed one kind of healing...sexual healing.
Okay, I can live with the alcoholic thing, but going down to the working girls is just a bit to much.
IC:
"Excuse me sir, but may we have a word?"
The speaker was a member of a police patrol pair.
"We have reports of a man around here with numerous gaping gunshot wounds. We were just wondering if you'd seen him."
OOC: And no, they wont think you're a god by using your force-field things. Just thought I'd warn you.
OOC: who are they (the cops) talking too?
You. I thought that was obvious.
OOC: It wasn't
IC: Jimathon was having too good at time to be detered by the cops,
"Well, I have Gaping Gunshot wounds, but thier just decoration, like earings, or knife wounds."
The men pulled thier guns on Jimathon.
"Oh, come on! That's all you got? I've had that happen like, ten times today. Can't you think of anything original? I mean COME ON! You could hold the guns sideways or.."
While he talked he manuvered his hands, and using the same technique he used on the Duke's guards he took thier guns and snapped thier necks. Then he ran down the alley, twards the Jimathon Embassy.
OOC: It's like Boomtown, but I'm the good guy instead of the serial rapist.
Klonor police guns only work for their assigned officer. You might want to re-write your post.
I got the idea from real life, they're going to start putting finger-print safety locks on police guns so they only shoot for a cop.
OOC: It wasn't
IC: Jimathon was having too good at time to be detered by the cops,
"Well, I have Gaping Gunshot wounds, but thier just decoration, like earings, or knife wounds."
The men pulled thier guns on Jimathon.
"Oh, come on! That's all you got? I've had that happen like, ten times today. Can't you think of anything original? I mean COME ON! You could hold the guns sideways or.."
While he talked he manuvered his hands, and using the same technique he used on the Duke's guards he took thier guns and snapped thier necks. Then he ran down the alley, twards the Jimathon Embassy.
OOC: It's like Boomtown, but I'm the good guy instead of the serial rapist.
See, that's just cheap. But, I'll let it go since I'm having a hell of a good time here
IC:
As the Emperor enters the embassys he feels a bit of a tingle and find himself inside a very small jail cell. He smacks his head as he remembers, all embassies in Klonor territory have Phase-gates built into the doors for just such an occassion (well, not this exact situation, but something similar).
Even worse, his drink didn't transport with him.
OOC: It's not like you're not being cheap.
IC: "DAMNIT!!! My DRINK!!! I swear to God Almight, if I ever see the Duke again (without guards and when I'm fed) I'll tear him a new one, NO, a new five!"
Jimathon was obviously disgruntled, but not as much as Stevolemue, who had just walked into the War room.
OOC; To be continued tomorrow, good night, and we'll see you ont he next episode of... THIS RP!!!!
Hey, I never said I wasn't being cheap
IC:
As Steve walks into the War Room he suddnly exits, the large metal pipe in the hands of Hamskil crashing down on his skull with a sickening thud. Catching him before he reaches the ground, Hamskil drags Steve away and stuffs him into a closet.
OOC: BYE!
OOC: So you can teleport out at the first sign or trouble, but my guy can be knocked out by a metal pipe in front of like 100 Jimathon army and navy people and there's no problem?
Yeah, pretty much. The suspense was killing me so I had Hamskil end the suspense. You can re-write it if you want, I just wanted something to happen to Steve.
OOC: that's alright, I just wanted you to say you were wrong. WRONG!!!!
IC: Steveolemue woke up in...a closet? It sure seemed like that from all the sex taking place in there. (Secretaries have no scruples, neither do bosses.) He felt his head pounding, and decided that right now the only thing that could help him was a good stiff drink...except the door was locked.
"Good thing I had Jim for a teacher."
He blew the doors open with his FF emiters only to see a very odd man standing right outside the doors blast radious, one carrying a...
"Security! Code Blue..UHHH!!" Steve was shot, but due to his insanely dence head was spared instant or even gradual death, it would instead take years for the bullet to kill him.
The walls then yelled, "Hey! You! Assasin guy! You are under arrest, charged with 1st degree shooting up the emperor and sentanced to death. (Computers made the legal system move so much faster.) Guards rounded the corner, held up thier AK-47,000,000s and fired into the wall.
While this went on Steve staggard back into the war room. "Prepare to activate the fleet in orbit around Duke's planet." Then he collapsed, got up, had a drink, and collapsed again.
Wait, the guards shot the walls? What would that do?
IC:
The mind-sifter slowly turned off, withdrawing the tubes it had placed inside numerous parts of Jimathons body. The technician turned around and gave the Duke a list of all the stuff they had learned.
Basically, it was the cloak codes for the Jimathon fleet, their last orders before Jim was captured, and their primary bases.
"Excellent, transmit everything to the ship captains and the defenders. Once our fleet gets back we need to have a quick decisive strike."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, up on the Harbinger Cannons
"Sir, we're getting an uplink from the Dukes palace. it seems to be Jimathon cloak codes."
"Excellent, put them into the ckmputer."
"Yes, sir"
As the codes are entered the space around the system suddenly vanishes, replaced with the massive Jimathon fleet.
"Oh ****......"
OOC: Cause Hamsil was already gone.
Admiral Edwards looked tired but ready, determined, and focused, he looked at the order one more time, activated the fleet com and said, "Attention all ships.....fire."
All the ships decloaked and a massive wave of instant death streaked across space, and hit the cannons with considerable gusto.
Meanwhile Stevolemue had a collostomiser, Jimathon had a heart attack from the sound. And the whole of the universe cringed in unsion.
OOC: Now I get it. I was confused for a bit I was voted most perpetually perplexed at my school)
IC:
As the instant death streaks across space three Harbinger Cannons die a slow, tumbling death (Damn, there goes three trillion dollars. You couldn't have picked a less expensive target?). The rest rotate in space and unleash a repeated salvo of Harbingers at invading fleet (35 gigatons every 4 seconds). As the heavy guns pound away the two Carriers stationed in the system open their docking basy and a total of 600 Klonor fighters, interceptors, and bombers streak out.
OOC: ha.
The fleet redirected fire at the other cannons, begginging to destroy and rip them to paper-doll like shreds. Meanwhile Regan and Mandalorian classes deployed thier many fighters, all of which were manned by true fighter poilots, ones who felt thier ship, loved thier ship, stopped only short of mating with it, mostly. They also hated the other ships, and thier Tirbonium Cannons conved that message well.
Colonel Sabir readied the Sheba, "OK, our mission is simple, get in, get Jim and/or Duke (Located *here* from what our intel source tells us) and get out, blowing up a lot of shit on the way. Is that clear?!?"
"YES SIR!"
"Ready the cloak and head into the planet, Captian Fred. And, try to avoid crashing, it might hurt your carrer...or spine."
"Duly noted, Sir....."
Under his breath he said, "Properly ignored." After all, he was a pilot, noone tells him how to fly.
The remaining Harbinger Cannons, warned by their comrades tumbling corpses, manage to arm their shields in time and receive only superficial damage. Their shields, however, in no way stop them from blowing the hell out of the Jimathon forces as they continue to shell the incoming ships.
As the fighters begin to close with the Jimathon craft they suddenly switch position, the Medusa bombers flying staright down (relative to the Jimathoncraft) and the Ulysses interceptors flying straight down the gullet of the oncoming swarm.
OOC: Now you're just godmodding, my entire fleet is firing and your cannons are invulnerable to them?!?
Of course I'm godmodding! Since we started drinking, going to whorehouses, and snapping peoples spines using our minds I figured this would be a good time to make me invincible.
Of course I'm godmodding! Since we started drinking, going to whorehouses, and snapping peoples spines using our minds I figured this would be a good time to make me invincible.
Touche', but that makes it impossable for the RP to finish, so you can either redo your post, have the Duke surrender, or...something like that.
If you'd like I'll revise it and stop acting like an idiot, but I think it's fun to godmod occassionally.
If you'd like I'll revise it and stop acting like an idiot, but I think it's fun to godmod occassionally.
There's a fine line between fun godmodding (Killing people with minds) and not fun kind (Being a jackass)
If you'd like I'll revise it and stop acting like an idiot, but I think it's fun to godmod occassionally.
To stop I'd have to know I was being an idiot in the first place.
If you'd like I'll revise it and stop acting like an idiot, but I think it's fun to godmod occassionally.
To stop I'd have to know I was being an idiot in the first place.
Shut up and repost already so I can kill you.
meanie :(
IC:
The remaining Harbinger Cannons, arming their shields before the second Jimathon volley can make contact, are still ripped to shread by the combined force. Unleashing a final volley they slowly tumble towards the planet, leaving that hemishpere completely unguarded (except by the fighters whose actions are the same as the last post)
Jimathon looked around and realized how wrong it was for him to be screaming like a girl.
( The ominations of Meh: Jimathon religious book; Chapter 4, verse 1-10.
The Mehattitudes
1. Never scream like a girl.
2. Always act cool in the face of deutch
3. Nothing is off limit for joking.
4. Brothels are ligitimite businesses.
5. Spell it with a "E"
6. Cathiders suck.
7. "meh" is the best word ever.
8. Dieing is hazardous to ones health.
9. Pizza is good
10. When in doubt, make light of your situation.)
He immidiatley remembered his religion, (he wrote the thing, he really ought to) and recomposed himself.
"Hey, Duke! Guess who's planet's gonna explode?!? Not nime! Yours! Even if I go with it, I always manage to comback from stuff like this! So, as they say in my country, 'meh.'"
Jim smiled, and wondered why all the tubes he was hooked up to had to be so wide, espetially the cathader.
_________________________________________
It's still my turn, I gotta go eat. Be back soon!
The Fleet lurched forward and aimed the whole of thier might at the oncoming "fleet" if you could call it that. Jimathon's men felt no honor from destroying a weak fleet, but destroying the fleet of Jimathon's captors made up for that. The fighters branched off, one side continuing the rush and the other taking a radical left (left in space?) turn. The fighters and ships opened up thier guns at the enemy, awarding them instant death.
(Ominations of Meh: Chapter 10, verse 3-4:
Warrior code
3. Don't Die
4. Award your enemys instant death.)
______________________________________________________
The commander looked at his men, "ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!?"
"YES SIR!"
With that very odd chant of solidarity the men jumped from the hovering ship into the palace, armed to the teeth with Turbonium rifles, each one with the Duke's name on it. They spilled into the palace, setting charges shooting guards, and screaming inanely. Jimathon infantry was not well renound, but thier numbers made up for it.
"YEAHAWW!" an anonymous soldier yelled.
OOC: Dude, did you expect a big battle with hundreds of ships? I have less than 10 combat ships left in my entire space fleet, and none of them are here. All you're going to get is fighters and ground guns
IC:
As the Jimathon fighters awarded the "instant death" to the remote piloted, unarmed Ulysses interceptors the Extra armed Medusa's roar up from beneath, using their auto-turrets on top to blast into the large formations, as their massive (6 guns) frontal weaponry opens up, hurling Flail shots and Banshee wails right up the tail pipes of the Jimathon fighters.
behind the Medusa's is a wing of Ursas, especially designed for a mission like this. With their primary weapons (lasers and such) removed they each have room for an experimental Klonor cloaking shiled. While unable to mask from view, it does render them invisible to sensors, allowing them to sneak up to capital ships and unleash their massive payload (2 Harbinger bombs each, total of 10 gigatons)
Post ground defence/ what Duke is doing as well. I want to see if maybe he would unhook me from that cathader scince the building is collapsing.
The mind-sifter slowly turned off, withdrawing the tubes it had placed inside numerous parts of Jimathons body. The technician turned around and gave the Duke a list of all the stuff they had learned.
Tubes are already gone
IC:
As the Jimathon infantry stormed into the palace they all disappear as they enter the Dukes private chamber. Wait, they didn't disappear, it's the Phase-Gates again! (you keep forgetting about those) The infantry reappear in a large cavern on a small ledge, over a pool of boiling lava.And the ledge can't support much weight.....
OOC: Let's see them get out of that
OOC: As they say in American, time to GODMOD!!! *play dramatic music*
IC: The troops, realizing what had just happened, began to scramble and grab for cover, but the ledge broke, and the men plummeted. Steveolemue was perticularly mad because his dramatic entrance into the Duke's chamber was foiled by a damn door. He activated his high energy FF emiter pack and caught the men while managing to maintain a sort of super-heroic flight.
"E-2 to Destiny 2."
"Hey, your Steveliness?"
"I'm currently carrying about a hundred men via FF pack, help wouldn't hurt!"
"Sending a Sheba now, and we are shooting down some energy."
"Oh, and soldier..."
"Yes?"
"You didn't hear the part about the FF generator."
"Understood, sir."
____________________________
Meanwhile abord the J.S.S. Heart of Gold
Admiral Tred didn't like the tanacity of fighters, with thier seeming inability to die easialy, unless overwhelmed with a field of death...
"Open MSIII vents, flood space!"
'With gusto, SIR!"
OOC: you think that's godmodding? Watch this!
And isn't Steve still on the Jimathon planet?
IC:
As Steve holds the terrified infantry over the boiling lava a piece of rock in the ceiling came loose and fell and crushed his FF emiter pack. Now comes the plumiting part.
OOC: It seems so non-godmoddly, yet the odds of it happening are rextrmely small.
And I have to apologise for my not quite up-to-snuff posts tonight. I'm doing some homework as I write this and can't devote much brainpower.
OOC; No kidding, they suck. Especially the parts where you don't lie down and let me kill you.
OOC: Gimme something to work with and I might do better
OOC: As they say in American, time to GODMOD!!! *play dramatic music*
IC: The troops, realizing what had just happened, began to scramble and grab for cover, but the ledge broke, and the men plummeted. Steveolemue was perticularly mad because his dramatic entrance into the Duke's chamber was foiled by a damn door. He activated his high energy FF emiter pack and caught the men while managing to maintain a sort of super-heroic flight.
"E-2 to Destiny 2."
"Hey, your Steveliness?"
"I'm currently carrying about a hundred men via FF pack, help wouldn't hurt!"
"Sending a Sheba now, and we are shooting down some energy."
"Oh, and soldier..."
"Yes?"
"You didn't hear the part about the FF generator."
"Understood, sir."
____________________________
Meanwhile abord the J.S.S. Heart of Gold
Admiral Tred didn't like the tanacity of fighters, with thier seeming inability to die easialy, unless overwhelmed with a field of death...
"Open MSIII vents, flood space!"
'With gusto, SIR!"
Work with it.
OOC: I could just have a few people I know work on certain parts of your body with numerous blunt, heavy instruments.....
IC:
"Duke, we're getting a weird energy signature. It seems like that emitted by a class-22 Emitter Pack, often used for personal flight, except the power use is way to high. it must be holding over a dozen men right now."
"That'd be Steve. Why the hell doesn't that guy just die already? ANything we can do?"
"Yes, sir. We could collapse the ceiling of the cavern. Most likely the falling rock would crush the pack and drop them all into the lava."
"Excellent. In the words of that old T.V. show "Make it done!" No, wait, that's not it. "Make it happen!" Nope, still not it. Forget the old show, just do it!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The MSIII vents (didn't you just develope that thing yesterday? How could it already be installed?) open and the gasses begin to spurt out, quickly moving towards the Klonor fighters. As the lead Medusa's get caught and destroyed the others do an emergency Sub-Space jump (half ending up in the Deneb star) and leave the vicinity. The remote piloted Ulysses begin to fly in circles, attempting to swirl the gas and direct it back towards the ships.
OOC: I made it like a week ago with BOK, but never mentioned it.
Steveonelume looked at the crumbling rock, "Oh, well isn't that just the way the cookie bounces?!?"
He begins to fall with the force of a thousand men, and screams like a thousand 3 year old girls, "MOMMMMYY!!!!!!"
When all of a suddden it hit him, he knew the trick that Jimathon used to survive ten bullets and a building, he would sure as hell use it now. He began to perform the deed just as he and the rest of the men plummeted into the lava... with conciderable gusto.
Meanwhile at the hall of just...I mean, at the battle:
The vents sieced fire, as they knew what the few remaining ships were doing, so in true Jimathon style, they rammed the fighters with all thier hulking masses. Ships and men went flying at rather unpleaant speeds, and after all of it the ships stoped dead in thier tracks, confused as to what to do next.
The commander came on, "All ships, aim weapons at enemy ground defences. And call the Duke, he might just want to give up now." (DUM DUM DUMMMM!!!!)
OOC: What's been going on with Jim this whole time?
OOC: I was actually just about to bring Jim back into it
IC:
"Sir, the emitter field is off"
"Excellent news, maybe that little pissant is finally out of my hair."
"He might be sir, but I have bad news."
"What is it?"
"The Jimathon fleet is beginning an orbital bombardment, all our fighters (except the Ursas that you don't know about) have been destroyed, and it'll be 12 hours before the surviving Harbingers rotate far enough to get into firing position."
"Well, isn't that just dandy. I know what to do. Desperate times call for desperate meausres."
He slowly stands up, walks over to a nearby closet, opens the door and steps in.
"Well old friend, any chance we could work together?"
(in case you missed it he's talking to Jimathon right now)
"It depends, will you promise to let me kick your ass afterwards?" Jimathon was perticularly desperate, but he had an imige to keep, an image of wanting to rip the Duke's balls off and feed them to his children.
OOC: OW!
You have children? How? You'd think all that drinking would give you some sort of cancer
You have children? How? You'd think all that drinking would give you some sort of cancer
I meant your children. The dieing made me sterile.
Being kicked in the balls by so many women has made me sterile as well. That's why the competition for next ruler of Klonor is always between my cousins
Being kicked in the balls by so many women has made me sterile as well. That's why the competition for next ruler of Klonor is always between my cousins
No mistresses?
Go already!
I have mistresses, just no children
IC:
"You can try" the Duke said with a laugh, and released Jimathon from his restraints.
"Now, get on the com and order your troops to stand down before they blow us all to hell."
I got to go, be back tomorrow, bye.
NO NO NO! Fine, see you then
Lil miss
19-10-2003, 20:11
Hey, do you guys mind if I get involved? I live in Deneb (I rented a planet from Klonor) and would really like to get a part of this. If not, I'll live (but not for much longer)
OOC: I don't know, we're almost done, and I doon't see how you would fit in.
Jimathon leaped down, and glared at the Duke with a look that conveyed, "I need a drink REALLY bad."
"I need a drink REALLY bad." He mumbled as he went to the com.
He bagan to input codes and orders attempting to convey that he was alive and not really in any mood to die again, "You know, Duke, I never told you the story of how I survived ten bullets to the head and a building falling on me."
The Duke was impatient and frustrated looking, as though he couldn't believe the fate of his planet was in the hands of that semi-drunk basketcase he called "Jim."
"It's really not all that magical," he said frantically trying to overide Steve's security, "All it is is a little...wait...OH!"
He looked at the Duke with a serene and very pecular nerviousness (Both at the same time), the kind he had when he was about to shoot the Duke, "Well, from the looks of it, you'll find out how to cheat death soon enough, I'm locked out of the system."
OOC: I'm back.
OOC: Maybe his population (bigger than mine) could be used as cannon fodder in massive and suicidal attacks on the enemy
IC:
"You know, I wish I killed you when I had the chance."
The Duke quickly shoves Jim aside (in the direction of the bar) and sits down at the computer console.
"Why don't you amuse yourself over there for a second, I need to concentrate."
Quickly wracking his memory, he remembers the codes the Dors had used to steal the Manifest. He begins to type, mumbling as he goes
"System.safety = off
System.keycheck = off
System.security = off
wht_rbt.obj = go
alc_hole = run
rd_qun = off_with_her_head
There, security is disabled for all your onboard systems and wont come back on without the precise key phrase. You have no clue how far into your systems we've gotten. Now tell them to go away, or you'll regret me taking out the many tubes."
To illustrate the point he yanks the drink out of Jims hands and downs it all in one gulp.
OOC: It's not that easy, but I'll let it slide.
IC: "I wish you had died when you had the chance."
He went to the panel, but this time he was VERY angry...
( Ominatings of Meh, Chapter 1, Verse 1:
1. Never get between a man and his alchohol.)
He began to furiously enter codes and orders and coordinates, all the time smoking a cigarrete that came from nowhere and smelled very much unlike a cigarrete. "Here, have a smoke." He handed it to the Duke.
"Light it up, you'll live longer. That's how I stayed alive, it's a bioagent, it starts off by sending viruses into your body, then it infects them with a mutagen, then at some point, eventually, you will die. When you do the virus, in order to survive, eats your dieing cells, and the mutegen makes it excrete living ones. In a month you're back on top of the world." Jimathon layed back from his typing, "OK, the ships have been ordered to siece fire for 5 minutes, tell me why you did this." Jimathon took a puff.
OOC: I forgot, you haven't read "Jurassic Park" (the novel). That's the code Nedry uses to shut down the park. A fellow reader would realize it and not think it was to easy.
The first three lines are meant to turn off the systems designed to track use of the computer, the 4'th line turns everything off, the 5'th line is the turn back on code, and the 6'th line eliminates any trace of the above computer actions.
IC:
"Hmmm, I thought you just weren't there and had some poor flunky get shot instead of you (it's what i would have done)."
He takes a long drag of the cigarette, then another, and in a minute he's puffing away like freight train
"And I already told you why, I'm pissed off. You and your Empire have been nothing but trouble since we first came into contact. Your faulty defenses allow your flagship to be captured and attack me, then you shoot me, and a lot of other stuff. It's to much, I just got fed up. I wanted you out of the picture once and for all."
A few more puffs
"And I wanted to be Emperor. Duke is such a second rate title"
For future reference, the wht_rbt.obj line activates a massive and well written program inside your computer systems that takes down the security, it doesn't do it itself.
Jimathon laughed out loud, with conciderable gusto, due to his state of general captasticality, he soon began too cough violently, then he regained control right before his lungs would explode.
He took another puff of his Trophy Light (super-ciggarete) and looked at the computer's clock.
"Three more minutes, huh? Look, Duke, or should I say psudo-emperor? Whatever, just listen to my proposition. I have been through a lot today. Primarially, I haven't been able to really finish a good drink. But the physical abuse sucked too. Either way, look at the facts, you started a war, and I won. I guess we should discuss terms of surrender, eh?"
Duke seemed rather seething, Jimathon was to sore to notice.
"I figure you have these options:
1. Surrender completely without a batlle, Noone dies, I come in and annex your country for a couple of years (about 1- 1 and a half RL weeks) then I, after compensating my losses via a bit of your nation's resorces, give you control again, to start over as you see fit. That includes you being able to change your name to Emperor.
2. You surrender completely AFTER I wipe your planet into oblivion. I rape and pillage your former empire, then, after there's nothing left for me, return it to you after renaming it to something like The Penal Colony of Cockopolis (Motto: "Like a Rock"). And change your name from Duke to Dick."
Jimathon looked at the clock again, one minute left.
"So, what will it be? Let me take over, or watch me take over?"
OOC: Don't pull anything, just pick one of the choises, you've pulled enough surprises out of nowhere for two or three RPs.
OOC: Dude, I've got some really sweet tricks up my sleeve. Just let me drop a few, then I'll surrender. Come on, I need a bit of revenge.
OOC: Dude, I've got some really sweet tricks up my sleeve. Just let me drop a few, then I'll surrender. Come on, I need a bit of revenge.
OOC: fine, go ahead, as long as they aren't TOO godmoddy.
Damn, what I had thought up would pretty much destroy your fleet and leave you at my mercy.
Damn, what I had thought up would pretty much destroy your fleet and leave you at my mercy.
Just post, West Wing is on in 30 minutes!
OOC: Okay, I'm gonna bring out my twist
IC:
As the timer runs down on the 5 minute cease-fire a large Sub-Space node opens behind the Jimathon fleet. Pouring out comes the Klonor Defense Force, returning victorious from Arbra (that thread has been dead for weeks so I'm just gonna assume that we finished the war).
The ships are spread out and ready, and they launch on the attack. Orion Destroyers spearhead the attack, their flanks covered by Deimos Corvettes. The Fenris Cruisers lag behind, covering the Leviathans as their Heavy Beam Cannons charge up. Surrounding the entire formation are the Volition Pirate ships (I love those ships), Flak Cannons ready to blast the Jimathon fighters.
As the fleet moves towards the Jimathon ships in orbit around the planet the Ursa stealth bombers, hiding up till now, sprint forward and unleash their Harbinger Warheads (10 bombers, two bombs each. Total: 100 gigatons) at the lead Jimathon warships.
sorry I can't be on long, I have to deal with my sis's homework, I'll post tomorrow morning, bye.
Oh come on! You post one thing in two freaking days?!?!?!?! What a gyp!
I'll just post something to keep me amused till you come back
IC:
The Duke slowly turns away from the sensor console, staring at the shocked Emperor.
"As you might recall, when I released you from your restraints a few minutes ago I said we should work together. I have no wish or need to submit to you. My fleet is here, and even if they can't defeat your fleet (they're pretty damaged from the Arbra fight) the Harbinger Cannons will be in firing position quite soon."
He puffs a few more times on the super cigarette (everything is so much better with the smoke)
"Now, I'll give you two choices.
1) Our ships fight to the death leaving neither of us a working space fleet, but leaving you stranded in my capital, open for me to do whatever I want to you.
2) You transmit a permanent cease-fire to your ships, you leave, and we act like none of this ever happened. Oh, and make sure to give Steve a good shot in the sensitive male areas."
A few more puffs (I think the Duke has a problem) and he continues
"So, what'll it be?"
Jimathon was in no mood to deal with the Duke anymore, he was so close to winning, but thanks to his damn fleet, he once again felt the horrid pain of his mostly exploded legs. So, he did what any man would have done, he punched a comuter panel, resulting in a massive short curcuit and Jimathon's instant death and rebirth by electricution. (the electricity sped up the revival procedure...A lot!)
"Ow," he said nonchalantly.
The Duke stared on, continuing to indulge in his new vice.
"Fine, but when this get's declassified (Ater we both die forever) the official report will be skewed so that I won."
Jimathon put hand out, "By the power vested in me by my people, to do my job with gusto and dignity and to the best of my ability, I, Jimathon, do agree to a peace accord with the Klonor Empire. By shacking my hand, you agree."
OOC: Gotta keep it formal.
You mean I have to actually touch you? Damn
IC:
"Good."
Shakes hand.
"Attendant! Get me a towel. Now damnit!"
After the appropriate cleansing of his hands the Duke turns back to Jimathon.
"So, what shall we do with Steve?"
"Let's see...We could always give him to you. You seem to have a way with prisoners that just beems "Fun!"
Jimathon sluged down a recently ordered Collostomiser, what better way to celebrate his newfound, fully healed body? He got serious, and felt something was wrong with this picture of brotherly love.
"OH YEAH! I FORGOT!"
Jimathon realised that the exploding ships outside the window was bad, so he went to the com panel, entered the appropriate orders from both the Duke and himself, and the sky once again turned a reasonable color. (Assuming blue is more reasonable than fire.)
He shrugged off the mistake and took another slug.
"Tell you what, if I find Steve, I'll do my worst. If you find him, do the thing where you don't let your prisoner drink, it's almost as bad to a Jimathonian as turning him into a eunich." (ouch)
Jimathon was almost done here, it had been a long couple of days, so Jimathon had to end it with a bang.
He punched the Duke hard enough to destroy his (the Duke's) jaw. Then walked out of the building, twards the red light district...for some healing...
OOC: Is that the end?
Maybe we could have Steve keep control of some Jimathon troops and we have another RP of us trying to track him down and kill him. If not, then this will be the last IC post.
IC:
The Dule laughed as he rubbed his jaw. Ever since Jim had shot him and the Elarians had healed him he never felt pain from the neck up. A real plus when somebody just dislocated your jaw.
As Jim walks away he keyes up the com
"General Salm, this is Klonor. Stand down from combat stations and return to active patrols. let's see if we can rebuild some of the Empire."
He then grabs a drink and hurries after Jimathon. It's wrong to let somebody else have all the fun
OOC: Man, that was the BEST RP EVER!!!
That was pretty good.
KUDOS TO US!
and almost 20 quality ones!
If you counted godmodding, most of them were quality.
Right, and I have a 98 year old Pony who makes mud into silver.
So...at the end of my last really great RP the GA was formed, and space was completly changed for all of a couple months. What happens now?
I dunno. Nobody seems to be doing anything with the ISAO, so I doubt tha will have much of a galaxy changing effect.
Noone seems to be doing much of anything, I say you and I change that...
How? The GA Part II?
Ew, no!
I mean go evil, woop galactic a**! Take a few, let's say five nations(including us), clue them in on the plan, then, in a week or so, start tearing EVERYONE apart. One by one. With the GA broken up, noone would be strong enough to stop us!
*evil laugh*
Have you been talking to the Mindset?
Next chance you have ask him to let you in on his next plan of action for the ESUS.
I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Um, there are to many people in the ESUS for that.
Mindset has it all planned out. And on a much larger scale than you.
Mindset has it all planned out. And on a much larger scale than you.
He's been working on it longer. But you're right, I am surprised. TG me his plan, will you?
He just thought it up today (I think)
Well, whatever. Kudos to the Mindset.
Yes, kudos.
Cheese. Discuss. GO!
So, out of sheer lack of conversational topics... How's New Jersy working out for you?
Really good. I get a nice variety of weather (warm and sunny in the summer, snowy on the winter, nice and cool in Spring and fall), I'm close to the city. great place to live.
How's Jersey working out for you?
I've never heared anything good of Jersey. I live in West Texas, as west as possible. And the season here is summer, winter doesn't exist. niether does fall or spring. Just summer and Uber-summer. Of course, living here has one advantage, you can travel to Juarez, Mexico and get prescription drugs real cheap.
you can travel to Juarez, Mexico and get prescription drugs real cheap.
I just travel down the hall to my brothers room.
And you never wanted to have a snow day? Or to go sleding? Or snowball fights? Or have nothing to do with it, just spend an extra day inside on NS?
I've always wanted to see snow, I have once or twice. (It's god's tradition to make it snow here every christmas, but it melts in a couple of hours.) But I've never seen it in large quantities. (more than 1/2 inch)
Here we get in by the balefull. Sometimes up to a couple of feet.
But we also have really hot days like you get in Texas.
So, we get the best of both worlds (snow, but we don't freeze all year long, heat, but we don't sweat our asses off all year long)
You said you went to college when we met, but you're 17. Which one is a lie?
I was at college then. Summer Study Program at Penn State University. High School students (mainly Juniors and Seniors) go to Penn State (or Colorado, or Paris depending on which program you sign up for) and take college courses. You live in the dorms, go to class, do all the college stuff. I got three college credits out of it. And it was a hell of a lot of fun.
I've done the same thing, in Luisiana. (I no that's spelled wrong) But it was just for extra High school credit (I was in 7th, 8th and 9th grade.) The place wasn't that interesting though, college in the middle of nowhere.
I took the actual college courses (Astronomy & Astrophysics). The teachers didn't know that I was just a high school student, and all my classmates were college dudes. it was an awesome time. Two classes a day, and the rest total freedom.
Allowing you and I to met on NS. I was in Austin at the time, spent the time during my brother's naps online.
That's where I found out about NS. One of the other kids in the program had an NS nation and he told me about it. I joined, and then the Manifest tried to kill me.
Funny how these things happen? No?
No. What's funny is how we're holding three completely independant conversations at the same time.
No. What's funny is how we're holding three completely independant conversations at the same time.
I was just thinking about that, you should get MSN messenger.
You should get AIM. or Yahoo! or ICQ
EXCELLENT! My screen name is JBK405. give me a hoot
Gravedigging BUMP since a thread I just made reference this thread and I want to make sure I can easily access it