NationStates Jolt Archive

See this post by Snub Nose 38 (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=54287&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=1196) for explanation of the new thread.

Continue as you were.

I think the 65 page cap is only for the general forum, but I could be wrong.

Remember, make no waves. Just settle down TnUI, lean back, and accept! It is so much easier.

I think the 65 page cap is only for the general forum, but I could be wrong.

Considering there's a currently active 120-page thread in this forum, I'd be inclined to believe TnUI here, but whatever. ;)

I think the 65 page cap is only for the general forum, but I could be wrong.

Considering there's a currently active 120-page thread in this forum, I'd be inclined to believe TnUI here, but whatever. ;)
Who knows...could be... (with apologies to Leonard Bernstein "West Side Story"). Just posted what I read - and I did find several threads "locked" at 65 or just past 65. Didn't check to see what forum(s) (fora?) they were in, though. Better safe than sorry? (all this just being a rather elaborate bump).
[code:1:c8ef26b31c]
World Cup 6

2nd Round Quarter Finals Semi Finals

Quohog (25)--------
| Quohog(25)--------
Runaway Moose (12)- |
|Quohog-----
TnUI (7)----------- | |
| Arridia(6)-------- |
Ariddia (6)-------- |
|Quohog----
Svecia (2)--------- |
| Errinundera(17)--- |
Errinundera (17)--- | |
|Errinundera
Lunatic Goofballs (11) |
| Lemmitania(3)-----
Lemmitania (3)-----

Brazillico (1)-----
| Brazillico(1)-----
Squornshelous (5)-- |
|Brazillico-
Chakra (70)-------- | |
| Snub Nose 38(20)-- |
Snub Nose 38 (20)-- |
|Brazillico
Halfassedstates (49) |
| Halfassedstates(49) |
Kingsford (51)----- | |
|Spaam------
Spaam (14)--------- |
| Spaam(14)---------
Copiosa Scotia (50)
[/code:1:c8ef26b31c]

(Original Chart by TnUI)
UPDATED - 2 of 2 SEMIFINAL MATCHES

And, they're off!! (well...aren't we all a little off? :wink: )

Well, anyway, I like having the thread under my name instead of Kingsford's. I was getting a little tired of "Qualifying underway" in the title.

The actual game commentary, LG vs. Lem, will be posted somewhat shortly. After that I'll post the full Round 2 results and announce the matchups for Round 3 which will be TGed tomorrow in the 5o'clock hour (GMT).

Round 3

Oops, sorry. That should read "Quarterfinals".

Of course, in Lemmitania, we call Round 2 the "Sweet Sixteen," the quarters the "Elite Eight," and the semis the "Final Four."

Americans will know what I mean.

<OOC> This is also an excuse for a B U M P.<OOC>


Please be tolerant of other nations' football terminology protocols.
babelf
Errinundera's Protector of Mammalian Languages

<OOC> This is also an excuse for a B U M P.<OOC>


Please be tolerant of other nations' football terminology protocols.
babelf
Errinundera's Protector of Mammalian Languages

Actually, "Sweet Sixteen" et al are college baskteball terms. Okay, uploads of the LG-Lem commentary to commence as soon as my slow machine allows.

Gil: So ‘oo’s that down there on the pitch, Mel?

Mel: That’d be Fritz Zoom for the Goofballs and Mick Mickelson for Lemmitania.

Gil: An’ Fritz calls the toss “’eads”, an it’s tails. Quantum Mick elects to begin with possession. Fritz chooses to defend the left side of the field. By-the-by, Mel, that ain’t the way you pronounce Fritz’s last name.

Mel: No? And how the hell would you know that?

Gil: I spent four years ‘osting Win, Lose, or Die, lest you forgot that! An’ Fritz and Dennis are very popular.

Mel: The twin strikers. So how do you pronounce their name?

Gil: I use the Goofballian pronunciation. Like ‘exhume.’

Mel: Oh, I see. You say the ‘X’, like in ‘Xavier.’

Gil: Or ‘Zavier,’ if you’re from Lemvoola.

Mel: You’re referring to the college?

Gil: Wot college?

Mel: Xavier College. In Lemvoola.

Gil: Never ‘eard of it.

Mel: Then what the hell were you just talking about?

Gil: Oh look, they’re starting to kick the ball.

Mel: So call the game.

Gil: Wot? Where’s Clem?

Mel: You gave him the idea he could walk out and call a trademark lawyer. Remember?

Gil: Oh. Good idea, that. Otherwise someone might beat ‘im to the punch.

Mel: Yeah, so you convinced him. Look, are you going to call the game, or am I?

Gil: You?! You can’t call the game. You’re just the anchor. You ‘ave to shut up while the game’s on.

Mel: I don’t have to shut up.

Gil: You do too.

Mel: No, I don’t.

Gil: So why don’t I ever ’ear you during the game?

Mel: I put in the occasional comment.

Gil: Now Shemp, ‘e knew ‘ow to anchor.

Mel: I guess that’s why he was the Dean of Lemmitanian sports.

Gil: ‘e used to just leave the booth during the game. Then at ‘alftime ‘e’d come scamperin’ back.

Mel: Shemp never scampered.

Gil: The ‘ell ‘e didn’t. Wot makes you say ‘e didn’t?

Mel: Shemp’s got dignity.

Gil: So scamperin’s undignified?

Mel: In an anchor, scampering’s undignified.

Gil: Wull, if ‘e ‘adn’t ‘ave scampered, ‘e’d ‘ave been late.

Mel: Maybe he just gave himself enough time to get back to the booth.

Gil: From where?

Mel: From wherever he was!

Gil: Wull, where was ‘e?

Mel: When? What are you talking about?

Gil: I’m askin’ where Shemp used to go during the game.

Mel: Why are you asking me? Why are you bringing this up now?

Gil: I just got curious all of a sudden.

Mel: Who the hell cares where Shemp went? He was probably watching the game!

Gil: Or plotting against us.

Mel: Shemp never plotted against you!

Gil: Oh, now, I ‘ave to call you on that one, Mel. Shemp plotted against me extensively. Everybody knows ‘e spent years plotting to deny me the ti’le Dean of Lemmitanian sports.

Mel: No, he litigated against you. He didn’t plot against you.

Gil: Wot’s the difference?

Mel: The difference is-- the difference-- it’s...

Gil: I’m waiting.

Mel: Oh, just call the damn game.

Gil: Fine. And when you think of ‘ow Shemp ‘litigatin’’ against me is different from ‘is ‘plottin’’ against me, you let me know.

Mel: One... two... three...

Gil: If you good folks listenin’ to the game on the radio can ‘ear Mel countin’, that’s ‘cause ‘e’s engaged in a Zen Buddhist exercise to keep ‘is head from crackin’ open under the steam pressure wot’s buildin’ inside it. If ‘e makes it to ten without tryin’ to illegally throttle me, ‘e’ll be all right.

Mel: Nine... ten.

Gil: ‘ooray. Mel’s gonna be okay. Now, back to the game. As you’ll recall, we left at a pivotal moment as Vera Michaels was just kickin’ off for the Lemmings. And now, five minutes later, the Goofballs are kickin’ the ball around some, over on the Lemmings’ side of the pitch. So as you can see, nothin’ much ‘as ‘appened. Them Xoom brothers are running this way and that, kickin’ the ball to each other, and some of the Lemmings are runnin’ around after ‘em: notably Quantum Mick Chang and ‘ometown ‘ero Lana Maelstrom.

Mel: You can’t call her the ‘hometown hero’ when we’re not in Lemco City.

Gil: Why not?

Mel: Because we’re not in Lemco City.

Gil: I understood that from the first part of your statement, Mel.

Mel: So you can’t call someone the ‘hometown hero’ if they’re not in their home town!

Gil: That part I don’t see. Lemco City still exists, don’t it?

Mel: Unfortunately, yes.

Gil: Don’t use words like that when talking about Lemco City, Mel. You’ll ‘ave Lowlanders everywhere lookin’ to kick your ass.

Mel: Sorry, Lemconders. I actually like Lemco City. It’s just Lemson who drives me crazy, the rest of you are fine.

Gil: On be’alf of Lemco City, I accept your apology. Now if Lemco City’s still sittin’ down there, listenin’ to the game on the radio with baited breath, wonderin’ when Lana’s goin’ to score that elusive second goal of the tourney-- where was I?

Mel: Hell if I know.

Gil: Oh, yes. If Lemco City’s still there, followin’ along with the game, ‘ow come I can’t refer to the fact that it’s Lana’s ‘ometown?

Mel: You can refer to the fact that it’s her hometown. You just can’t call her the hometown hero.

Gil: Why not? You mean because I’m already the ‘ometown ‘ero?

Mel: No, because we’re not in Lemco City.

Gil: That’s irrelevant!

Mel: It’s completely relevant!

Gil: So wot are you saying, that the phrase “’ometown ‘ero” ‘as a set of rules around it? It can only be used in certain circumstances?

Mel: I’m saying it’s contextual, yes. “Hometown hero” relies on your referring to the person’s actual home town.

Gil: I was referring to it. ‘er ‘ometown’s Lemco City.

Mel: You were not referring to it!

Gil: When I called ‘er the ‘ometown ’ero, you mean?

Mel: Yes!

Gil: Yes, I was.

Mel: No you weren’t!

Gil: Look, Mel, I clearly said she’s the ‘ometown ‘ero! If I wasn’t referrin’ to ‘er ‘ome town, wot the ‘ell else would I be referrin’ to?!

Mel: You can’t ”refer” to someone’s home town without actually REFERRING to it!

Gil: Wot the ‘ell are you talkin’ about, Mel? An’ stop shouting at me!!

Mel: I wouldn’t have to shout if you weren’t an insane freaking idiot!!

Gil: If you made the least bit of bloomin’ sense people would understand you! An’ anyroad, you’re the only idiot around ‘ere!

Mel: One, two, three, four...

Gil: For the edification of me listeners, I’m not interrupting Mel while ‘e counts this time on account of ‘e’s got that crazed look in ‘is eye, like a runaway moose about to strike.

Mel: Eight... Nine... Ten... Look, Lemson, you weren’t referring to Lemco City because you never said “Lemco City!”

Gil: Oh, no, I only said it about eight times.

Mel: You never said it in the same phrase with “hometown hero.”

Gil: Wull, I ‘ardly see as that matters. If anyone in Lemmitania doesn’t know that Lemco City is Lana Maelstrom’s ‘ome town, I reckon it must be ‘cause ‘e’s been living in a box the last two years.

Mel: It doesn’t matter if people know what her hometown is, you idiot! You still can’t call her the hometown hero without actually referring to her home town!!

Gil: Let me say this slowly, Mel, so as to make it more easy for your rather soft brain to digest. In referring... to Lana.. as the “’ometown ‘ero”... I was, by virtue of saying the word “’ometown”... in connection with Lana... referrin’ to Lemco City... in’erently... bein’ that that is ‘er ‘ome town.

Mel: That isn’t how it WORKS!!

Gil: Aaggh! Get yer bleedin’ ‘ands-- off me-- ack!-- off me throat!

Mel: Aaaaaahhhh!

Gil: Ackthp! ‘elp! Madman alert!

Mel: OUCH! You bit me!

Gil: ‘elp! ‘elp!

Mel: Freakin’ son of a--

Gil: Yeowch! Argh!

Mel: Why I oughta--

Gil: Crap!

Mel: Aiiee! You bit me again!

Gil: Watch it, Mike!

Mel: Oooh, that smarts.

Gil: Ackthpth! Throat! Throat! ‘elp!

Mel: Yoicks!

Gil: Thanks, Mike-- Oof!

Mel: Yieee! Enough with the biting!

Gil: Enough with the choki--ackth!

Mel: Damn it Mike, cut it out! You’re loosening my grip!

Gil: Thpckgrgl!

Mel: Aaaagh! Mike! You bit me!

Gil: Huh hooo huh hooo, oh lurvely lurvely air-- Chair! Chair! Chair!

Mel: Hah!

Gil: Oh, Mike, I tried to warn ye. Look, Mel, you’ve clobbered poor Mike ‘oo never did a flea the least bit of ‘arm!

Mel: He bit me! I’m bleeding!

Gil: I bit you twice. So wot! ‘ey, now, put that chair down, Mel. See? I ‘ave one too! Oh, crap!

Mel: OW!

Gil: They don’t make chairs like they used to, huh? Too bad you weakened yours beatin’ Mike with it. Now I ‘ave the superior armaments. Wotta you think of that, huh Mel?

Mel: Sally! Help! He’s gone mad dog!

Gil: Sally fled the booth two minutes ago, in case you didn’t notice, Mel. Now [i]I[i/] ‘ave the upper ‘and-- ‘oo’s your Dean of sports now, Mel? Yeeeouch! Oooff!

Mel: Hah! Weapons aren’t everything. You forgot I have tackling superiority! And now I have the chair, too!

Gil: ‘elp! ‘elp! Sally! ‘elp!

Clem: WHAT THE FREAKING BEJEEZUS IS GOING ON HERE?

Mel: I’m about to beat Lemson with this chair!

Clem: Mel! Put the chair down! Come on, Mel, put it down, man. I know you don’t want it to end like this.

Mel: My god, Clem, do you have any idea what he’s been putting me through?

Clem: I can probably imagine, yeah.

Mel: Ever since you left he’s been trying to freak with my mind!

Clem: He does that to everyone, Mel. It’s just his way.

Mel: I can’t take it any more!

Clem: You don’t have to, Mel. But you don’t have to beat him with a chair, either.

Mel: I don’t?

Clem: No, man, it’s okay. Just put the chair down and we can talk this over.

Mel: If I put the chair down, he’s going to say something that’s going to make me go crazy!

Clem: No, he isn’t. He’s going to shut the hell up and not say a word. Aren’t you, Gil?

Gil: Mum.

Clem: See, Mel? His lips are sealed.

Mel: Are you sure? If I put the chair down and then he starts in on me again, I’m gonna-- I’m gonna-- strangle him with my bare hands!

Clem: That won’t be necessary. Come on, Mel, do the decent thing. You’ve already given Mike a concussion, from the looks of it. You know, that makes two straight World Cups you’ve knocked Mike cold. Not a record to be proud of. Now, do you want to make things worse, or start to make them better?

Mel:... I don’t know. I’m so confused.

Clem: That’s okay. Those feelings are normal when you’re talking to Gil.

Mel: I just want to make him shut up!

Clem: Hey, even I feel that way sometimes. But I’ve never beaten him with a chair, you know.

Mel: You haven’t?

Clem: Never. I hit him once, but that was all.

Mel: I just tried to strangle him.

Clem: Oh yeah? Well, that’s cool. But I’d say that’s enough abuse of Gil’s being, wouldn’t you agree?

Mel: ...I guess so.

Clem: So how about you hand me the chair? ‘Cause you don’t really want someone to get hurt, do you?

Mel: No, I don’t. Okay then. But you have to promise that I won’t hear another word out of Lemson.

Clem: I guarantee it.

Mel: Okay. Here...

Clem: Thanks. Don’t you feel much better now?

Mel: I don’t know. I guess so.

Clem: Okay, boys.

Mel: Aaagh! Gilson, you son of a MMMPH!

Gil: Hee hee! Clem, did you ‘ave the SWAT team waitin’ outside the door the ‘ole time?

Mel: Mmph! Nng! Bfmphth!

Clem: Okay, Mel, you’ll be all right. It’s for your own good. These nice men are just going to take you some place where they can lock you up for a while.

Mel: Nnnnnnng!

Gil: Wow. That was a ‘ell of an adventure. I sure am glad for that good ol’ Network Kill Switch.

Clem: There’s no kill switch in this booth. You’ve been on the air the whole time, you moron.

Gil: The ‘ell you say! I’m not a moron!

Clem: Well... all right. Maybe ‘moron’ was too strong a word. But it ain’t too bright picking a fight with Mel when I’m not here to defend you.

Gil: Hmm. You may be right at that.

Clem: So what’s the score.

Gil: Wull, last I saw, it was all tied at nil. Wot’s the scoreboard say now?

Clem: One-nothing, Lemmitania.

Gil: Oh yeh? ‘oo scored the goal, Lana?

Clem: Well, I’d ask Mike, except that he’s unconscious on the floor.

Gil: So ask Sally.

Clem: She’s out coordinating the SWAT team emancipation of the booth. You’re just lucky she ran out and called them. Otherwise you’d have been beaten with a chair.

Gil: Oh, I’ve survived worse. Did I ever tell you about the time on Goofball Island when I ran afoul of the Zestful Ones?

Clem: The what?

Gil: The Zestful Ones. You know, the bike gang.

Clem: Oh, of course. On Goofball Island there’s a bike gang called the Zestful Ones, is there?

Gil: I can’t believe you’ve never ‘eard of them. They inspire terror in the ‘earts of millions.

Clem: Millions of Goofballs?

Gil: Goofballs and regular people alike.

Clem: No, you never told me about it. But maybe we should focus on the game a little bit. Since you obviously weren’t calling it while I was away.

Gil: I’m ‘urt! Wot makes you say that?

Clem: Well, there’s the fact that you didn’t even know that we’d scored.

Gil: Oh, that just ‘appened a few seconds ago. I saw all the action with up until that bit.

Clem: Oh, yeah? So what’s happened, then?

Gil: Wot, you mean for the entire game?

Clem: Summarize it.

Gil: Wull, let’s see. There was some kicking, and some running, and then the ball changed ‘ands, and there was more kicking and running. Then the other side got the ball back and proceeded to kick it.

Clem: Is that all the detail you can give?

Gil: Well, Fritz Xoom’s been scamperin’ around like a li’le monkey. ‘e’s ‘scamperific,’ that one is.

Clem: Yeah, so I’ve heard.

Gil: Wot? Where’d you ‘ear that?

Clem: In the papers. Fritz has been calling himself scamperific for weeks.

Gil: The ‘ell ‘e ‘as! I just made that word up just now on the spot!

Clem: No you didn’t.

Gil: Yes I did!

Clem: Look, maybe you heard it somewhere in reference to him, and sublimated it, and just now it came to the surface ‘cause you saw him scampering around. You don’t remember having heard it before, but you did.

Gil: I never did!

Clem: You can’t claim credit for ‘scamperific’! Fritz has been using it! Look it up!

Gil: ‘eck, I didn’t even think it up to describe Fritz Xoom, originally. I thot it up to describe Shemp.

Clem: Shemp? What the hell are you talking about?

Gil: Oh, you were out of the booth an’ missed a very in’eresting conversation I ‘ad with Mel about ‘ow Shemp used to scamper out of the booth after introducin’ the game, then scamper back in for ‘alftime. ‘e was really scamperific, ol’ Shemp was.

Clem: Shemp never scampered in his life.

Gil: That’s more or less wot Mel said. Yet, there you ‘ave it. “Scamperific Shemp” they used to call ‘im.

Clem: No they didn’t.

Gil: Yes they did.

Clem: No they didn’t.

Gil: ‘e’s not dead, you know. They still call ‘im Scamperific Shemp.

Clem: Some people still call him the Dean of Lemmitanian sports.

Gil: Not for long. Me trademark ‘earin’s set for this week.

Clem: How convenient. You’re already in Lemmington.

Gil: Yes, it’s like kismet, isn’t it? Gives me a good feeling I’m going to win.

Clem: Yeah, I’m sure you will.

Gil: Why’s that?

Clem: That’s just the way it goes. Oh, look. It’s halftime.

Gil: Great. I could really use a beer.

Clem: Yeah. Too bad we’re not in Tanah Burung. I loooved that triple B.

Gil: So, one-nothing Lemmings at the half. Back after some important messages.

Clem: We’re back for second half action, your Lemmitania Lemmings facing off against the Goofballs of the Republic of Lunatic Goofballs. It’s one-nothing Lemmings on a goal by Vera Michaels in the thirty-second minute, Vera’s first goal of the Cup. Things are returning to normal here in the booth, with Mike awake and groggy, and Sally back at the controls. Mel, however, will not be rejoining us today.

Gil: Hauled off in the paddy wagon for attacking yours truly, ‘e was.

Clem: Yes, he was. And for assaulting Mike. So here’s Fritz Xoom kicking off to brother Dennis, and the game is under way again. Nice to see Vera Michaels finally getting a goal, Gil.

Gil: Yep.

Clem: She showed tremendous promise in the last Cup, but she’s been having a tough time so far this go-round.

Gil: There’s some evidence ‘er knees may be ‘urting ‘er.

Clem: You now, you’ve said nary a word about knee-joint breakdown this whole Cup.

Gil: I’m laying low on that front.

Clem: How come?

Gil: If I’m lucky, you’ll never know ‘ow come.

Clem: And if you’re unlucky?

Gil: Then the shite’ll ‘it the fan.

Clem: Okay, then. Something to look forward to.

Gil: Not if I’m lucky.

Clem: Are you feeling lucky, punk?

Gil: Wot’s that, a song reference or something?

Clem: A movie reference, actually. Dirty Harry. Haven’t you seen it?

Gil: I don’t really go for those pornos, Clem.

Clem: Oh, no, of course not. You watch porno? I’d be shocked.

Gil: Wot’s that, fascism?

Clem: That being your word for sarcasm, yes.

Gil: We’ve been through this before, Clem. Fascism and sarcasm are the same thing.

Clem: I don’t care to argue it right now. Mikki Miskatone’s just gotten the ball on a nice tackle, and passes to Mickelson. The Goofball defense is scrambling back into position, but they’re ahead of the Lemmings’ strikers. Mickelson passes to Michaels, and she head it to Maelstrom.

Gil: The crowd goes wild!

Clem: A little bit. Not too much. There are some Lemconders behind the Goofball goal, waving flags and banners. Maelstrom sends it to Henneman.

Gil: So ‘ow’d it go with your lawyers, then? You never did tell me, in all the excitement.

Clem: I told you about it at halftime!

Gil: Wul, remind me. I’ve forgotten.

Clem: They said it looks good. They’re getting some advice from your lawyers.

Gil: Ooh! You’re lucky. My lawyers are really good.

Clem: So I’ve heard. Maelstrom with the ball again, passes to Michaels.

Gil: So when’s it go into effect?

Clem: I’ve got my lawyers talking to LRN about getting it in the contract ASAP.

Gil: Good idea. ‘ey, you know, if Mel never comes back, there’ll be nothing in the way of your using the title immediately.

Clem: Oh, he’ll be back.

Gil: Still, you might’s well take advantage of ‘is absence. Wotta you think? You want me to start calling you the Voice of the Lemmings right now?

Clem: Hmm... Yeah, sure. What the hell?

Gil: No time like the present, eh? ‘ere, I’ll introduce you. Ladies and gentlemen, for the Lemmitanian Radio Network, this is Gil Lemson, Dean of Lemmitanian sports, with Clem Gilson, the Voice of the Lemmings.

Clem: Thanks Gil, nice to be here. Michaels sends a beautiful pass across the goal and Maelstrom with the header! It’s good! Lana Maelstrom scores the Lemmings’ second goal of the match!

Gil: And the crowd goes wild.

Clem: Fairly wild, yeah.

Gil: Totally ‘n’ utterly wild.

Clem: She butted that one in just past the Goofball goalie’s outstretched fingertips. A pretty goal.

Gil: By a pretty lady.

Clem: If you like them thoroughly pierced and rather tattooed.

Gil: Which I do.

Clem: Yeah, you would, Prince Albert. So Fritz Xoom will kick off once again, at the fifty-five minute mark.

Gil: ‘ooray for kicking.

Clem: Was that some fascism on your part?

Gil: A little, yes.

Clem: Well, things are winding down, here. Eighty-two minutes played and the Lemmings lead it two-nothing. Lemma Mingstein’s saved eight shots today for the Lemmings, and if she can hold out for another ten minutes or so, she’ll have her first shutout of World Cup six. Before today, she’d given up one goal in each of the Lemmings’ three matches.

Gil: Good point.

Clem: Goals today by Vera Michaels and Lana Maelstrom. That makes Lana the team’s leading scorer. In our first match, the two-nothing victory over Cobra Cult, she and Henny Henneman each had one. In the second match, the draw with Audioslavia, Mickelson scored the lone goal. And then we were shut out by Spaam.

Gil: I remember back in the dawn of time, there were rumors that Spaam was co-’osting this Cup.

Clem: Yeah, I seem to remember that too. But it seems like it’s officially moved here.

Gil: Yippee.

Clem: You said you like having the Cup in Lemmitania.

Gil: That was when we were in Lemco City. I don’t like being ‘ere in Lemmington so much.

Clem: Why not? Everybody loves Lemmington.

Gil: Not everybody, Gil.

Clem: Oh yeah, you Lowlanders don’t like the Right Coast much, do you?

Gil: Those of us bein’ ‘unted by Scamperific Shemp Wooley, ex-Dean of sports, find the Right Coast to be a little eerie. Wot with Shemp’s assassins crawlin’ everywhere.

Clem: What assassins?

Gil: The ones wot are tryin’ to kill me!

Clem: Who’s ever tried to kill you?

Gil: Mel Flanders, for one.

Clem: That’s your own fault.

Gil: Fault ‘as nothin’ to do with it! ‘e tried to kill me and that’s that.

Clem: Well, be that as it may--

Gil: Look look look! Another goal for Lana! ‘ooray!

Clem: Nice. And once again you made me miss a goal. Lana Maelstrom with her second of the day, and that one was a real beauty. I’m seeing it in replay on the scoreboard. From about fifteen meters out, she took a beauty of a kick at the opposite corner, threaded between two defenders, and I don’t know how she beat the goalkeeper on that one. He dove right for it, and it just slipped through his hands. Bam! Right into the corner of the net. Making it three-nothing Lemmings, and at eighty-seven minutes, I’d call this game sewn up.

Gil: Oh yeah, absolutely. We needn’t even call the rest. Final score: Lemmings three, Goofballs nothing.

Clem: That another one of your hunches?

Gil: It is indeed.

Clem: Need I remind you that your hunches have been wrong before?

Gil: I’d rather you didn’t.

Clem: So what was that story you were going to tell about the Zestful Ones?

Gil: I don’t think I ‘ave time now.

Clem: So give the condensed version.

Gil: Wull, basically, they beat the crap out of me.

Clem: How come?

Gil: It’s a long story, Clem. I gave you the condensed version. There ain’t a medium-length version. You’ll just ‘ave to wait until there’s time for a long story if you want to know ‘ow come the Zestful Ones beat the crap out of me with ping-pong paddles.

Clem: They beat the crap out of you with ping-pong paddles?

Gil: An’ cricket wickets.

Clem: Cricket wickets? Or cricket bats?

Gil: If I meant bats, I’d ‘ave said bats, wouldn’t I? They beat me with cricket wickets. An’ badminton rackets.

Clem: That’s crazy! How the hell did this come to happen?

Gil: I told you, there ain’t time to tell you that now. You’ll just ‘ave to wait for the next game.

Clem: I’ll be waiting with baited breath.

Gil: All Lemmitania will be, if they know wot’s good for ‘em. Oh, did I mention the penguins?

Clem: Huh?

Gil: Penguins. They’re like little flightless birds. Only not so little. An’ they wear tuxedos.

Clem: I know what penguins are. I just don’t know why you would have mentioned them.

Gil: I mentioned them because the Zestful Ones beat me with them. Weren’t you listening?

Clem: The Zestful Ones beat you with penguins?

Gil: Oh, It’s a ‘ell of a story.

Clem: I await it with baited breath.

Gil: Yeh, you do that. Look. Game’s over.

Clem: Final score three-nothing, Lemmitania. So the Lemmings advance to the quarter-finals for the third straight Cup, defeating the Goofballs for the first time ever. Congratulations to the Goofballs for another great run. This is the third straight time they’ve made it to the second round.

Gil: Good old Goofballs.

Clem: For the incarcerated Mel Flanders and the Dean of Lemmitanian sports Gil Lemson, this it the Voice of the Lemmings, Clem Gilson, saying good night, Lemmitania.

((LOL! My god, that was funny as hell!))

BTW, congrats to the Lemmings for their impressive victory over Team Goofball. To show their good sportsmanship, the Defeat Mooning(A Goofballian tradition much like the Victory Lap, in which the losing team moons the winning team and as many fans as can be found and/or gathered.), takes place for a full four minutes instead of the usual two.

((LOL! My god, that was funny as hell!))

BTW, congrats to the Lemmings for their impressive victory over Team Goofball. To show their good sportsmanship, the Defeat Mooning(A Goofballian tradition much like the Victory Lap, in which the losing team moons the winning team and as many fans as can be found and/or gathered.), takes place for a full four minutes instead of the usual two.
A Defeat Mooning! What a brilliant idea! Why, the very thought of it would instill in a team the desire to lose, just to avoid it. :)

ok who the heck do i play next
*jumps up and down on the spot like a wee kid*
someone tell me - PLEASE
:idea: :idea:
can i get a bye into the semis?

Regarding Ariddia's upcoming quarter-final match against Quohog, Ariddian player Raphael Ford said only,
"This is the second time we face them in the quarter finals. I think a lot of people still have nightmares about the thrashing we took last time." He grinned. "I think it's time for us to return the favour."

A Defeat Mooning! What a brilliant idea! Why, the very thought of it would instill in a team the desire to lose, just to avoid it. :)

Or to instigate it. :D

ok who the heck do i play next
*jumps up and down on the spot like a wee kid*
someone tell me - PLEASE
:idea: :idea:
can i get a bye into the semis?
*the new minister of super secret sleuthery quietly slips into the offices of the halfassedstates national football side's manager. he sidles up to the manager. he glances furtively about. he takes this crap seriously.*

- Well...umm...it's just possible that, if you spell that "buy" instead of "bye" something might be arranged...
:wink:

filthyl, Errinundera's Protector of Sport and the Common Wealth (this last bit tended to be overlooked of late), leaned back on the branch with his legs dangling over either side. The 50 metre drop didn't concern him one iota.

He stared up through the foliage above and watched as the occasional snowflake drifted down towards him. The shy scampering of potoroos whispered up from below.

filthyl slowly rolled the delicious syllables around his mouth:

QUAR...

And to think that only 8 years ago nobody played football in Errinundera. It was his dedication, his enthusiasm, his drive that moved the nation.

He savoured the next syllable:

TER...

He had captained the team for that first campaign in World Cup 5 and was there leading them when they qualified. Sure they didn't get beyond the first round but they managed a remarkable draw against the then reigning champions, Dennisov, and earned a ranking of 17th in the world. From zilch to 17!

filthyl slowly pressed his two front teeth against his lower lip. F. F. F. F. F.:

FI...

His political opponents claimed that it was all a stunt to promote his career in politics. Only his leader, willd, new otherwise. filthyl truly loved football more than anything. He actually entered politics to further his football ambitions - to make Errinundera a world superpower. And now his protege, fionar, had shown the world that the previous cup was no fluke. He languidly pressed his tongue against the ridge behind his upper teeth...

NAL

In his mind all the pieces come together:

QUARTERFINAL!

filthyl was quite unaware that, all the while, a naked gabriellen was trying to entice him back into their tree-house.

Sorry for the delay.


Round 2 results:

Quohog 3 - Runaway Moose 1
TnUI 1 - Ariddia 4
Svecia 1 - Errinundera 3
Lunatic Goofballs 0 - Lemmitania 3
Brazillico 1 - Squornshelous 0
Chakra 0 - Snub Nose 38 4
Halfassedstates 1 - Kingsford 0
Spaam 1 - Copiosa Scotia 0

[code:1:2ae3b331ef]
World Cup 6

2nd Round Quarter Finals Semi Finals

Quohog (25)--------
| Quohog (25)--------
Runaway Moose (12)- |
| -----------
TnUI (7)----------- |
| Arridia (6)--------
Ariddia (6)--------

Svecia (2)---------
| Errinundera (17)---
Errinundera (17)--- |
| -----------
Lunatic Goofballs (11) |
| Lemmitania (3)-----
Lemmitania (3)-----

Brazillico (1)-----
| Brazillico (1)-----
Squornshelous (5)-- |
| -----------
Chakra (70)-------- |
| Snub Nose 38 (20)--
Snub Nose 38 (20)--

Halfassedstates (49)
| Halfassedstates (49)
Kingsford (51)----- |
| -----------
Spaam (14)--------- |
| Spaam (14) --------
Copiosa Scotia (50)
[/code:1:2ae3b331ef]

((LOL! My god, that was funny as hell!))

BTW, congrats to the Lemmings for their impressive victory over Team Goofball. To show their good sportsmanship, the Defeat Mooning(A Goofballian tradition much like the Victory Lap, in which the losing team moons the winning team and as many fans as can be found and/or gathered.), takes place for a full four minutes instead of the usual two.

I know it's corny but, in the circumstances, posting this is irresistible: http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/sauer/angry-smiley-025.gif

After recovering from the shock of having someone appear 'out of thin air' at the side of his desk, Sir James Munro (our national team manager) gets a bit peeved
SJM - Margo (his 24 year old blonde PA - who also happens to be 'seeing' Jon Stun the young Halfassed defender) get in here!
MARGO!!!!
Margo, who the **** was that?

M - Who was who?

SJM - that strange bloke who was just in here - he must have walked passed you to get in. Why didn't you tell me - he could've seen my team sheet for the quarter finals!

M - Who are you on about - no-one has called in, phoned or even mailed you all day?

SJM - some bloke was in here! he said something about by the by or something and everything would be arranged? I didn't get a word in before he'd legged it back out again!

M - i think its time for your tablets Sir. Your 75 now you shouldn't be stressing so much about this foosball tournament thingy.

SJM - but there really was someone here!

M - ok then, but i still think you should lie down for a while.

SJM - I've got to send our teamsheet to HSMG and let the players know whose playing.

M - Don't worry, I can do that one for you!!

Bad news for Errinundera
Lemmington, Lemmitania

The Errinundrian football team received a dollop of bad news this AM when they learned that they will be facing Lemmitania in the quarterfinals of the World Cup. Said the Voice of the Lemmings, Clem Gilson, "Well, I'm sure all of Errinundera is aware of the fact that the only team that's ever eliminated the Lemmings from a World Cup is Brazillico. Now, I don't want to go getting superstitious or anything, but if I were an Errinundrian footballer, I'd start packing my bags for the long swim home."

Upon being informed that the Errinundrians have discovered Boat technology, Mr. Gilson ran away screaming.

Experts across Lemmitania have been waiting with baited breath to find out whether the Curse of Brazillico will hold for yet another Cup. With the Lemmings' loss to Spaam in the group round, putting them in the opposite side of the bracket from the Chili Bats, Lemmitanians everywhere began planning Championship Day festivities, knowing that the Lemmings would be taking home another Silver medal.

Other experts have warned, however, that it is possible the Lemmings will wind up empty-handed, in the event that they face Brazillico not in the championship, but the consolation match. Either way, however, it's bad news for Errinundera.

<OOC>How's that for disembowelling my chances?</OOC>

<OOC>How's that for disembowelling my chances?</OOC>

OOC: That should work quite well, want me to do the result now so you both can work on your RPs?

After recovering from the shock of having someone appear 'out of thin air' at the side of his desk, Sir James Munro (our national team manager) gets a bit peeved
SJM - Margo (his 24 year old blonde PA - who also happens to be 'seeing' Jon Stun the young Halfassed defender) get in here!
MARGO!!!!
Margo, who the **** was that?

M - Who was who?

SJM - that strange bloke who was just in here - he must have walked passed you to get in. Why didn't you tell me - he could've seen my team sheet for the quarter finals!

M - Who are you on about - no-one has called in, phoned or even mailed you all day?

SJM - some bloke was in here! he said something about by the by or something and everything would be arranged? I didn't get a word in before he'd legged it back out again!

M - i think its time for your tablets Sir. Your 75 now you shouldn't be stressing so much about this foosball tournament thingy.

SJM - but there really was someone here!

M - ok then, but i still think you should lie down for a while.

SJM - I've got to send our teamsheet to HSMG and let the players know whose playing.

M - Don't worry, I can do that one for you!!
lol
We are pleased to find that the new Minister is competent.

I am supporting Halfassedstates---

My prediction for the semis
Arridia Vs Lemmy
Brazilico Vs Spaam

My Prediction for the final
Arridia Vs Brazilico

And I think it will be another victory for Brazilico

HSMG News at 9
blah blah blah - rebellion crushed blah blah
blah blah blah - hurricane warning blah
blah blah blah - politician found guilty of embezzilment blah

and in sport tonight,
the Halfassedstates team found out to-day that their opponents for the quarter-final match would be 14th seeds Spaam. In a press release, manager Sir James announced his starting line-up. In a change from the usual, Sir J has opted for a 4-4-2 formation, with young Jon Stun coming into the defense with Gerry Adams losing his place up-front. Sir James was unavailable for comment when we tried to find out his reasoning behind the change, and with the team 'locked away' at the training camp in Lemmitania it seems as though we won't find out until match day!

<OOC>How's that for disembowelling my chances?</OOC>

OOC: That should work quite well, want me to do the result now so you both can work on your RPs?

OOC: It's just about midnight here in the wintry wet Yarra Valley. I probably won't get a chance to RP until after work tomorrow. By all means post the result if Lemmitania is on hand right now. I can sleep on it for inspiration./OOC

I am supporting Halfassedstates---

My prediction for the semis
Arridia Vs Lemmy
Snub Nose 38 Vs Spaam

My Prediction for the final
Arridia Vs Snub Nose 38

And I think it will be another victory for Snub Nose 38

Why, thank you! :wink:

Strange, but I read it differently.

I am supporting Halfassedstates---

My prediction for the semis
Arridia Vs Errinundera
Brazilico Vs Spaam

My Prediction for the final
Errinundera Vs Brazilico

And I think it will be another victory for Errinundera

:P

I am supporting Halfassedstates---

Wahoo
Cheers TBF :D

Ps. - no dodgy editing required!!!

ah ba11s i edited this to say that :oops:

Okay, I got the result, sending now.

Bad news for Errinundera
Lemmington, Lemmitania

The Errinundrian football team received a dollop of bad news this AM when they learned that they will be facing Lemmitania in the quarterfinals of the World Cup. Said the Voice of the Lemmings, Clem Gilson, "Well, I'm sure all of Errinundera is aware of the fact that the only team that's ever eliminated the Lemmings from a World Cup is Brazillico. Now, I don't want to go getting superstitious or anything, but if I were an Errinundrian footballer, I'd start packing my bags for the long swim home."

Upon being informed that the Errinundrians have discovered Boat technology, Mr. Gilson ran away screaming.

Experts across Lemmitania have been waiting with baited breath to find out whether the Curse of Brazillico will hold for yet another Cup. With the Lemmings' loss to Spaam in the group round, putting them in the opposite side of the bracket from the Chili Bats, Lemmitanians everywhere began planning Championship Day festivities, knowing that the Lemmings would be taking home another Silver medal.

Other experts have warned, however, that it is possible the Lemmings will wind up empty-handed, in the event that they face Brazillico not in the championship, but the consolation match. Either way, however, it's bad news for Errinundera.

<OOC>How's that for disembowelling my chances?</OOC>

This World Cup campaign has been successful beyond our wildest dreams. Errinundrians will not be disappointed, indeed we will be overjoyed, should we fail to proceed past the semi-finals.

emasculate
Errinundera's Protector of Equal Opportunity

<OOC> Subsequent edit: nothing should be read into the above post which was made before I read TnUI's telegram to Errinundera.</OOC>

Okay, I got the result, sending now.

Just read the result. I'll contact Lemmitania with some ideas and then sleep on it.

<OOC>How's that for disembowelling my chances?</OOC>

OOC: That should work quite well, want me to do the result now so you both can work on your RPs?

OOC: It's just about midnight here in the wintry wet Yarra Valley. I probably won't get a chance to RP until after work tomorrow. By all means post the result if Lemmitania is on hand right now. I can sleep on it for inspiration./OOC
OOC: Reminded yet again that not only are we dealing with multiple time zones, but multiple seasons. While academically I know that it's winter in the southern hemisphere...it's summer, dammit. :wink:

Yes, it is summer. The Ozians are quite backwards, allowing it to snow in the summer. Also, they walk on their heads, you know.

Okay, quarterfinal results to be TGed momentarily.

EDIT: results have been sent.

Bad news for Errinundera
Lemmington, Lemmitania
...some funny stuff, which included, "Upon being informed that the Errinundrians have discovered Boat technology, Mr. Gilson ran away screaming."
and other funny stuff...


...some stuff, with the hilarious signature of

emasculate
Errinundera's Protector of Equal Opportunity

<OOC> Subsequent edit: nothing should be read into the above post which was made before I read TnUI's telegram to Errinundera.</OOC>
We will, too, read stuff into this! That's what we do. 8)
um...OOC that

any chance someone could post a link to the squad page thing for WC6 - need try and sort the RP for this game and as spaam ain't about .......
Cheers!!!!!!

any chance someone could post a link to the squad page thing for WC6 - need try and sort the RP for this game and as spaam ain't about .......
Cheers!!!!!!

:arrow: http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=47763

Lena: Welcome to the quarterfinals of World Cup 6, where Quohog is preparing to take their old rivals Ariddia. I’m Lena Waters, and this is Carlo Farina. So Carlo, what do you think about Quohog’s chances?

Carlo: Well, this is an Ariddian team fresh off a monster 4-1 victory over TnUI, they are in top form. Also, while Quohog has had success against Ariddia before, that was a long time ago. These are both new squads, and while Quohog has sort of sunk down and been a constant presence but never a true threat in the cup, Ariddia has gone on to be one of the top teams in the world. That being said, this Quohog team has been tearing up through the competition, they want to be one of those top teams.

Lena: They will be at least in the top eight, and if they win today, in the top four, so they have already accomplished that goal. Personally, I think they can do it. While Ariddia might have just had a big win over a great team, so did Quohog. Runaway Moose might not be TnUI, but they are still an outstanding team. I think that our players have raised up to the next level, and I think they have a chance at a medal.

Carlo: I hope that they do. For those of you who do not remember, the last time these two team played (OOC: I think) was in World Cup 1. In that game, the current head coach Lauren Silko was injured early on, removing a major cornerstone of the Quohog defense. Since Ariddia had four attackers on the field in an attempt to get a goal (they had been having a very low scoring cup), this led to a very high scoring game. Quohog managed to prevail 7-4. While neither team has played each other on the Cup level from that point, they have always had a certain respect for each other. The teams playing today have no one left from the first cup, but I’m sure both sides still remember.

Lena: I watched that game when I was 10 years old. Boy, that takes me back a ways. But, back to today’s match, which Ariddian players does Quohog need to watch out for?

Carlo: The Ariddia strikers Ford and Dubois can cause some major problems. If our defense does not play to its utmost, they will make us sorry. Khaled, the oldest player on the team retains some great skills. I would compare him with Sita Singh. Although she joined in the second World Cup and Khaled joined in the third, they are contemporaries, and both possess the ability to make the other side wish they had taken an early retirement. However, my favorite player would have to be Ranjit Khan. To tell the truth, I think that he could be favorably compared to the great Nadir Armant. I think that Armant was better at running the offense and at scoring, but Khan is better at turning around and playing defense than Armant ever was. Their goalkeeper is relatively new, but seems to be shaping up very well. All in all, it is a very solid team.

Lena: I agree. When stacking the two teams up, Ariddia probably has a slight advantage in the strikers. While Messeret and Nallab have the ability to advance their level of play, as of right now, Ford and Dubois are better. I would say that the two teams are a toss-up at mid-field, the position of strength for both sides. Quohog has an advantage in the defense. Claire Brannick is easily one of the top players in the game, and Adenauer was handpicked by Head Coach Silko to fill her old position. He has been practicing under her for about 5 years now, and has the ability to surpass her. Mysh and Timbu are also shaping up very well. This is a defense which helps create scoring opportunities. There are some other teams which let in fewer goals, but those teams normally cannot create the offensive power this Quohog team has. I would say that the outcome of today’s match will decided in the match-up between our defense and their offense. If Quohog can shut them down, then the team will probably be able to get the necessary points over the period of the game.

Carlo: We will just have to see. The players are in their positions, it looks like the game is about to begin.

31st minute
Carlo: …and a nice save by Philibert after a blistering shot by Khaled. The teams have seemed to be evenly matched so far. Each has had opportunities, but no one has managed to connect yet.

Lena: The mid-fields have both been doing an excellent job. I would say that our defense has been text-book perfect in their shut-down of Ford and Dubois, but there is still plenty of time to play, anything can happen.

Halftime
Lena: It is still scoreless. I was pretty sure that Nallab would get a goal on that play in the 40th minute, but David al-Jibai, the Ariddian goalkeep, got enough of the ball to send it off the post.

Carlo: It might be scoreless, but that certainly doesn’t mean that nothing has been happening! Ariddian striker Raphael Ford said before the match, "This is the second time we face them in the quarter finals. I think a lot of people still have nightmares about the thrashing we took last time." He grinned. "I think it's time for us to return the favour." Our players have taken this as a challenge, and have shut Ford down so far. This has allowed Dubois a few more opportunities that she might have had otherwise, but Ford is having trouble even getting the ball. When he does get it, he’s instantly mobbed by players.

Lena: Nobody ever said our players don’t have pride! Anyone predicting that they will thrash this squad needs to look out. Despite that little tid-bit, the game is progressing as we suspected. At this rate, neither team might score before the end of regulation time! There is still 45 minutes, but both sides are playing great football.

Carlo: That is a possibility. Quohog hasn’t seen a golden-goal opportunity for a very long time. It would only add to what a great match it has been so far.

55th minute
Carlo: It looks like a good scoring opportunity here. Quohog is putting forward a very strong counter attack, and is looking at a 3 on five situation with Messeret, Nallab, and Nemea up. Nemea has the ball and is dribbling down the left side. Nallab is drifting towards the center. The ball is passed up to Nallab who gets there before the defender. He beats the man in front of him, and Messeret’s defender angles in to stop him! He sends up a beautiful pass to Messeret, who gets there and taps it in! Quohog has gotten the first goal of the match.

Lena: Both sides were very aggressive when they came out, but Quohog was the one which managed to take advantage of that. However, this game isn’t over by a long shot.

68th minute
Lena: … and that sets up a corner kick for Quohog. Singh is going to take it, and remember that the target is likely to be Timbu who comes up from the defense for these situations. She takes the kick… and Timbu couldn’t get to it, but Gamble got a head on it. David al-Jibai gets contact, but cannot control the ball which pops back up. There is a bit of shoving going on, and Jean Cerf is able to make contact and attempt to clear it. Quohog regains possession quickly, and Sawyes sends the ball over to Nemea who takes a shot. It manages to get through the traffic and get past al-Jibai who was screened by the mob of players in front of the goal. We are now up 2-0!

Carlo: Great shot by Nemea. If Brannick retires along with Singh after this cup, as it increasingly appears that she will, Nemea will be the next captain. It really couldn’t go to a nicer person. He has been spending a lot of time helping the younger players out, sharing tips, and keeping them focused. He is sometimes overlooked, but has always been a solid presence for this team.

72nd minute
Carlo: …and Dubois sends a cross to Ford, who manages to redirect the ball, and it is in the upper right portion of the goal.

Lena: That was a rather quick comeback. I was thinking that Quohog would definitely hold on for the win, but am not as confident with this abrupt turnaround. It seems that the offensive pair of Dubois and Ford has started producing in a major way, and it is now 2-1 Quohog.

Carlo: I wouldn’t write Quohog out yet, though. Although we’ve seen stuff in the last four minutes that we haven’t seen all game from Dubois and Ford, I think that the defense will snap back into the game and stop them.

85th minute
Lena: … and Quohog just cannot seem to get it out of there end. Ariddia has had three or four very good scoring chances in the last eight minute or so, but Philibert has been there to stop three of them, and Adenauer just got in the way of that last one. The team has regained possession, but will they be able to hold onto it?

88th minute
Carlo: …and while Ariddia certainly still have a chance to score, things are looking more grim for them. Quohog has mostly maintained possession for the last two or three minutes, and even almost got a goal. It is appearing more and more likely that we are going to hold on and win this!

Final Quohog 2 -1 Ariddia
Lena: What a great game. It was touch and go until the very end, but Ariddia could never get the equalizer. So, both teams were scoreless at the half, but then Quohog managed to get two goals. After the second one, Ariddia truly played their hearts out and got a quick goal. From that point until the last five minutes of the game, the were constantly attacking, but Quohog held on, then regained the momentum at the very end and managed to upset this great Ariddian team.

Carlo: We are now going on to the Quarter finals. I would say that Quohog has probably been the surprise team of the tournament. We’ve managed a number of upsets, from TnUI and Errinundera in the qualifiers, although they both came back to win the second games, and Squornshelous and Oglethorpia in the group stage. Then Runaway Moose and now Ariddia. Do you think that this team will have what it takes to go all the way?

Lena: I’m not sure, but it probably doesn’t matter at this point. The team simply wanted to advance beyond the group stage after the disappointing showing in the last Cup. Everything beyond that was simply icing on the cake. Even if we lose in the quarter finals, we would still have a chance at another third place finish! Whatever happens, Quohog will leave World Cup 6 as one of the top four ranked nations in the world.

Carlo: Yes, I’ve been very impressed with this squad. While the younger players have been great, I think that Brannick and Singh have been the driving force behind this run. They joined the team when it was ranked third, and it has been downhill from there. I think that they want to bring the team back to that level before they retire. Brannick has always said that if the team does well enough, she would retire. However you look at it, the team has done well enough. So this will be the last Cup for these two older stars, lets see how far they will go.

Lena: Here’s hoping that they can make it to the finals. For Quohog Government Access, the only provider of the Cup inside of Quohog, I’m Lena Waters and this is Carlo Farina, bidding you a good day.

I am supporting Halfassedstates---

My prediction for the semis
Arridia Vs Lemmy
Brazilico Vs Spaam

My Prediction for the final
Arridia Vs Brazilico

And I think it will be another victory for Brazilico

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! You are wrong! Victory shall be mine! (wheezes for a few minutes)

Alright, perhaps your being wrong about the outcome of my match with Ariddia doesn't mean that I'll win, but here's hoping. :)

Hmm.. knowing my luck all of them will be wrong

any chance someone could post a link to the squad page thing for WC6 - need try and sort the RP for this game and as spaam ain't about .......
Cheers!!!!!!

:arrow: http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=47763

thanks Bedistan, unfortunatly Spaam didn't have a squad up - ah well here goes anyhow!

'Game of the Day' theme fades ..... we see 2 slightly embarrassed looking presenters.

GL: Hello, i'm Gary luniker and with me in the studio once again is Alun Hansun.

AH: Hi there folks.

GL: Firstly we'd like to apologise to you all for the problems at the end of the Kingsford match.

AH: Indeed.

GL: And now, what about the game to-day Alun?

AH: What about it? ... Oh sorry.... hhhmmmmm, well I don't really know an awful lot about Spaam themselves, their ranked 14th, so they've got to be a good side, but i haven't seen any of their games so far.

GL: Neither have I Alun, but they have been performing well.

AH: Yes, they've managed to win all 4 games so far in the cup, scoring 7 with conceeding any. While Halfassed have defeated high ranking teams in this cup, Europa Brittania struggled throughout the group stage and you could say that we caught Errinundera cold in the first game as they have been playing great since then.

GL: Yes, Halfassed haven't faced a team in this kind of form before. Is that what has caused Sir James to change his formation tonight?

AH: I'm not sure, it has probably had an effect on his selection, although with Spaam having such a good defensive record, i'm slightly confused as to why he is taking off one of his strikers for a defender!

GL: Yes it is a strange one. In an interveiw this afternoon, Sir James didn't really seem to understand what all the fuss was about.

AH: True, but then no-one has ever been this interested in the team before, he just mightn't be used to this amount of questioning on his reasons for selection. He used to just get on with things and no-one bothered him!!

GL: So Halfassed line-up tonight is; Malcolm - Stun, McDonald, Jones, Gibson - Bruce, King.L, King.R(Capt), Samuelsson - Wallace, Paisley.

AH: Yes the reported 4-4-2. I think the new-boy Stun will play at right-back with Jones moving across into the centre, we'll have to wait and see.

GL: Not for long Alun, I just heard that the teams are coming out of the tunnel now, so we'll head over to our commentators for the game, once again its Big Run and John Mutsun.

*cuts to the live commentary*

AH: you fancy a couple of beers then?

GL: After last time - you kidding, we'll get sacked!!

AH: Like **** who else are they going to get in to do this?

GL: Well, maybe your right, but i'll leave it for a bit and see how things go.

AH: Chicken - bwak bwak bwak *dances around doing the chicken walk thing*

GL: ok ok give us one then - they've already kicked off!!

OOC: Nice match report, Quohog!

IC:
"Well, we're out again," player Myrtille Dubois said the day after the match. "No semi-finals. We're starting to call it The Curse. Well, good luck to Quohog, anyway. We'll be... back in four years..."

Big Run: what an amazing game, I can not believe that its going to finish like this.

John Mutsun: Yes, a truely amazing scoreline when you consder how the game has went.

BR: There's the whistle.

OCC: oh the tension!!

IC: JM: Yes, thats it, the referee has brought the game to a finish and after 90 minutes here in Three Trees Stadium and its finished Halfassedstates 0 - Spaam 0.
Join us again in a couple of minutes for extra-time.

*cuts back to the studio*
GL: I can't take this.

AH: What its only your 6th bottle, you can buy me a few later.

GL: No I meant the game.

AH: Ah

GL: The teams playing well, their coping well with the Spaam attack, Stun has been outstanding in the centre of defence, we just don't have any attack.

AH: yeah since that (beep) goalie nobbled Wallace, we ain't looked like scoring. Paisley's past his best, and the new boy Murphy has been kept out of it!

GL: How we didn't get a penalty for that tackle (beep) only knows.

AH: The ref's a blind (beeeep).

GL: Good job the lineman isn't! The offside flag saved us twice in the second half.

AH: Well I've got another 6 HalfHeartedHooch here - shall we?

GL: eh - i've no idea what your on about, anyway back to John
*cuts to the stadium*
GL: fire one over then

AH: ok, but only if you stop pretending to be mr goodie two shoes.

Gl: ah quit your (beeping).

AH: you want a (beeping) beer or not (beeeeep)

<OOC>I have no idea what's going on, but the forum's screwed up. Maybe the server has been pushed past the limit. I tried to post, and insted of making a new post, it edited this old one.</OOC>

<edit/delete>

Weird. This post has been installed at the wrong time. It should have been right after the Lemmitanian National Stadium riot.

BIg Run: What a chance there for Murphy, a great reflex stop by the keeper.

JM: Yes, Run a brilliant pass from Ree King once again set-up the chance - he has to be Man of the Match again, but it looks like we're going to penalty's.

BR: Seems that way - only 2 mins of injury time left here, though there goes the Spaam #10 again, he's been tormenting Jones throughout extra-time here.

JM: Yes Run, hes broke away again, hes inside Jones, Malcolms came out to narrow the angle, but the #10's knocked it past him, if he gets to the ball its a certain goal ......

BR: Stun and McDonald are both going for it

JM: I think the #10's going to make it tho........ he has, but what a clearance off the line, - who else Ree King once again - unbelievible.

BR: There's not even time for the corner John, there the whistle.

JM: Looks like we're getting penalties after all!

*quick cut to the studio shows GL & AH covered in beer with an expression of a mix between euphoria and dread*

JM: Spaam win the toss and are going first
#9 comes up ........ and scores, top left, with Malcolm going the wrong way.
Adams (sub in Extra-time for Paisley) with Halfassed first effort ...... oh no - he's ballooned it over the bar.
#8 for Spaam ......... and its there, Malcolm got his fingers to it, but not enough 2-0 Spaam
Murphy up next for Halfassed ........ oh a fantanstic save by the keeper - tipping the ball onto the post and it bounces clear.
#5 for Spaam, the Captain, .......... brilliant save by Malcolm, not the greatest of penalties, but he guessed right and palmed the ball away to safety.
Halfassed Captain up now ........... confidently placed into the bottom corner. Ree King has once again given Halfassed hope 1-2
#10 for Spaam, he could have wrapped it up in the dieing seconds of extra time ........ and he may have done it now - straight down the middle as hard as it could go! 3-1 Spaam
So Halfassed now must score, and its the big centre back Ronald McDonald who's stepping forward. He begins his run-up, but he's stumbled, he connects with the ball but it's run wide of the left hand post.

Joy for Spaam who continue to the semis
Heartbreak for Halfassed who go out without losing a game in the finals.
Final score Halfassestates 0 Spaam 0 Spaam go through 3-1 on penalties.
Back to you Gary
*cuts back to the studio where we witness that harrowing sight - two grown men crying*
GL: Robbed (beeply) penalties

AH: Stupid way to decide a game anyway. But what was Sir James thinking letting that clown Ronald Mc(beeping)Donald take one :!:

GL: Who knows - anyway thats it from us folks see you in a few years time!!

*cue a montage of the best, worst and funniest bits of Halfassed campaign*

AH: right i'm out of beers - where the nearest pub?

GL: i've no idea - lets find it and get absolutely....
'Game of the Day' theme cuts in over the chat!

I cannot remember the last time I laughed so much.

Honestly, I laughed so much I cried. Literally.

Twice I had to walk away from the computer to recover.

Lemmitania, if you're giving awards for the best report, that one wins hands down.

(The NS clock has gone haywire. Interesting to see where this post ends up. It was logged well after Lemmitania's report of the stadium riot. Also, page 4 is long overdue.)

*****ASPN WORLD CUP 6 SPECIAL REPORT*****

*the aspn sports theme – and stadium crowd sounds – is what we hear. The wc6 logo, linked with the aspn logo and translucent, as we’ve come to expect. we see the aspn sports desk, and behind it on the wall is a brazillico ‘chili bats’ home jersey and a snub nose 38 ‘hooligans’ away jersey. our sports reporter is preening in a hand held mirror. he suddenly realizes he’s on camera, and drops the mirror below the desk*

In Football news today the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans faced the current world cup holders, the Brazillico Chili Bats, in a World Cup 6 quarterfinal match. Between the huge numbers of excited Hooligan fans wanting to watch their side in it’s first ever quarterfinals match, and the ever faithful Chili Bats fans determined to watch their side continue defending the cup, there were thousands of fans left outside the stadium after Stadium Security determined that the stadium was filled to absolute capacity. Lemmitania was up to the challenge, and had several huge screens mounted on the outside walls of the stadium, where the entire game was televised for those who could not get in. In fact, it was quite a party in the parking lot there in Lemmadelphia.

*we see several thousand fans in the stadium parking lot beneath a huge tv screen on which the match in progress can be seen. some are dancing, some are grilling, some are just watching the screen, and others are playing a pick-up match of their own. liquid refreshment of every kind is in evidence. people are eating, drinking, laughing – these people are having fun*

Inside the stadium, the match began a few minutes late, as it turned out that whoever was in charge of equipment had simply forgotten to bring any footballs. Both the Chili Bats and the Hooligans contributed a few, and then things got underway. While the atmosphere in the stadium between the Hooligan fans and the Chili Bat fans was amicable, on the pitch it was a different story. Both sides were aggressive and determined. Tackles were hard. Some unkind words were exchanged.

*we see four graphic examples of hard tackles – two by snub nose 38 players, and two by brazillico players. each results in a yellow card, and for those of us who can read lips, some rather nasty comments between the players.*

The sides were fairly evenly matched, each having five excellent chances at goal in the first half – and neither managing to finish. In the 39th minute Hooligan midfielder Knuckles was red-carded as a result of a second yellow.

*a chili bat player receives a pass from a teammate, turns upfield and attempts to get past knuckles. knuckles misses his initial attempt to steal the ball, and as the chili bat player gets past, the hooligan executes a hard tackle from behind that entirely misses the ball but takes the brazillican to the ground. enter the referee, who raises his yellow card, followed immediately by his red card. exit knuckles.*

This was followed by Brazillico defender Sorin seeing the red card in the 42nd minute.

*hooligan striker brad receives a long pass over the middle, breaking between two chili bats to take the pass and bear down on the goal, one on one against chili bat sorin. brad has the speed advantage, and as he passes sorin, sorin reaches out, grabs brads jersey, and pulls him down. The referee comes into the picture, red card held high. sorin leaves the field without protest.*

And so the half ended, 0 – 0, as well as down to 10 – 10. As we all know, the Snub Nose 38 Hooligan Cheerleaders were deported by Lemmitanian authorities earlier in World Cup 6. At the Hooligans last match, they were shown live on the big screen from their jail cell in Remington County – and once again embarrassed the entire nation of Snub Nose 38. For this match, at the request of the Snub Nose 38 Minister of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages, Lemmitanian authorities allowed the Hooligan Cheerleaders to be broadcast by radio at half time. This didn’t go much better.

*the camera is panning the crowd, as we hear the announcement that the snub nose 38 hooligan cheerleaders will be broadcast by radio. it begins.*

“Hooligans, Hooligans, Hip, Hip, Hip!!
The Hooligans ‘ll punch ya right in the lip!!
Chili Bats? Chili RATS, That’s what we say
Chili Rats will head for home later today.”

*at this point, in one section of the crowd, about three hundred people each hold up a large placard. when viewed together, they are a giant still photo of the hooligan cheerleaders mooning the world. other spectators nearby begin throwing extremely over rip vegetables at the photo. lemmitanian security moves in, confiscating both the placards and any remaining vegetables they can find among the fans.*

Both sides were a little more controlled during the second half. They played ten on ten for 20 minutes before the 0 – 0 tie was broken by the Hooligans.

*quick shot of another long pass over the top to brad, who again breaks between two defenders, this time managing to get off the shot – which the chili bat keeper manages to deflect, but not quite enough. the hooligans, and hooligan fans, celebrate*

The one goal lead didn’t last long, though. In the 78th minute brazillican striker Quintana took a free kick at 24 yards.

*we see quintana strike the ball with great power. It bends around the hooligan wall, and hits the inside of the near post, and flies just behind hooligan keeper pancake to settle in the far post netting*

The scoreboard now read 1 – 1 with 12 minutes left in regulation.

*we see the scoreboard reading brazillico 1, snub nose 38 1*

And so it remained until the winning score came in the 92nd minute.

*the chili bats are in the hooligans box. the ball is being kicked about in a mad frenzy. brazillico can’t put it in, snub nose 38 can’t clear. each time a chili bat strikes the ball, it rebounds out off another player – sometimes another chili bat, sometimes a hooligan. and each time a hooligan tries to clear the ball, it rebounds back in. this goes on for what seems like 5 minutes – although it’s really only about 15 to 20 seconds. and then, a chili bat strikes the ball, it hits a hooligan defender, and rebounds into the net. the chili bats go bats. the hooligans are all completely motionless. the brazillican celebration goes on for several minutes. ben dover, the hooligan’s manager, says something to the referee. the referee crosses the field, and says something to the brazillican manager. the brazillican celebration stops, and the match gets back underway*

The sides played out the last two minutes of added time, and that’s how the match ended.

*we see the scoreboard. it reads*

BRAZILLICO CHILI BATS 2 – SNUB NOSE 38 HOOLIGANS 1.

*****THIS HAS BEEN AN ASPN WORLD CUP 6 SPECIAL REPORT*****

OOC: crap 8)

Live from Lemmington, this is Glick Masterson for the Lemmitanian Radio Network. I’m proud to be your host for this quarterfinal match between the Longfoots of Errinundera and your Lemmitania Lemmings. It’s a matchup between two flamboyant stars and two combustion-free nations. And joining me in the booth are those two talented commentators: the Voice of the Lemmings, Clemmmmm Gilson, and the Dean of Lemmitanian sports, Gil... Lemsooonnnn!

Clem: Thanks Glick, it’s great to be here. A great night for football.

Gil: Indeed it is. ‘owdy, Glick, ‘owdy folks, welcome to the broadcast.

Glick: I’m honored to be joining you gentlemen in the booth tonight. You’re everything I aspire to be as a journalist.

Clem: Well, now, it’s not every day you hear that. Thanks very much, Glick. I should explain for the edification of our listeners that with Mel Flanders, our usual anchor, in a sort of limbo status as to his future employment with LRN--

Gil: Not to mention the aggravated assault charges pending against ‘im--

Clem: young Glick Masterson has been pressed into service for tonight’s game.

Gil: An’ per’aps for the rest of the tournament. If Mel doesn’t get out of jail.

Clem: Oh, he’s out.

Gil: Wot?!

Clem: He’s free on a hundred-thousand-lemmings bond.

Gil: Oi. Now, wot idiot put up the money to get that maniac out of the ‘oosegow?

Clem: I’ll give you one guess.

Gil: One? Only one? Wull give me some time to mull it over, then.

Clem: Come on, it’s the first person who’d jump into your head.

Gil: Lately, the first person jumpin’ into me ‘ead is usually Lana Maelstrom.

Clem: Well, it wasn’t her.

Gil: Does that count as me guess?

Clem: No, not unless you think it was her and you want to guess it.

Gil: Hmm... would Lana ‘ave put up the money to get Mel free?

Clem: I just told you it wasn’t her.

Gil: I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think Lana ‘as a ‘undred thousand lemmings, Clem. She only plays semi-pro football. Wot could ‘er salary be?

Clem: About twenty thousand. That’s what they pay all of them.

Gil: Not bad money.

Clem: That’s not bad money in Lemco City. But in the rest of the world, it’s pretty bad money.

Gil: Still, probably doesn’t leave ‘er much money for bailing maniacs out of jail. So I’m going to go with a different answer.

Clem: Great. So what’s your guess?

Gil: I’m thinkin’, I’m thinkin’.

Clem: Okay. Well, while he does that, Glick, do you want to discuss tonight’s matchup?

Glick: Absolutely. The pundits are calling it a pretty evenly-matched game, Clem, though you have to think that all things being equal, the Lemmings have a distinct homefield advantage.

Gil: Not as distinct as if we were in Lemco City.

Clem: You just go back to your thinking.

Glick: Gil’s absolutely right, of course. But even in Lemmington, the psychological edge has to go to the Lemmings. One thing about the Longfoots, is that they’ve had some trouble playing away from home. Throughout the qualifiers, road games were hiccups for them.

Clem: Hey, that’s not a bad metaphor.

Glick: Thank you very much.

Clem: Keep in mind, they were playing on the road in Quohog and Total N Utter Insanity. Those aren’t easy places to play.

Glick: It’s true, the Lemmitanian fans aren’t as rabid as the Insaniacs, and they say Quohog’s a pretty harrowing place to visit.

Clem: In some sense, Lemmitania’s a home away from home for those tree-lovers. One the other hand, they’re pretty weird.

Gil: Not as weird as the Goofballs. Oo! I got it.

Clem: Yeah? So what’s your guess?

Gil: Joey Lemstater.

Clem: Joey Lemstater? Ex-rugby player Joey Lemstater? Why the hell would you pick him?

Gil: I just thot, you know, Joey ‘as a kind ‘eart, ‘e’d probably ‘elp out a fellow ex-Unionist in trouble.

Clem: Mel Flanders hates Joey Lemstater. He thinks he faked injury to benefit your charity.

Gil: Wull, Joey’s a more forgiving type. When ‘e ‘eard about a comrade in trouble, ‘e probably rushed right down an’ begged the police to take ‘is money so that Mel wouldn’t ‘ave to sleep on a cold, ‘ard police-issue wooden board more than three or four nights in a row.

Clem: Yeah, right. It was Shemp Wooley who bailed Mel out.

Gil: Shemp? Shemp! Sneaky, scamperific Shemp. I should ‘ave known. ‘e bailed Mel out so the two of ‘em could plot against me some more. Shemp an’ ‘is sneaky li’le maniac sidekick. Ooo, the two of ‘em make me so mad!

Clem: No, you make the two of them so mad.

Gil: Same difference. So Shemp an’ Mel are together again. ‘ow much longer do we ‘ave to stay in Lemmington, Clem?

Clem: Well, if the Lemmings win tonight, the next game’ll be here, again. And the one after that, too.

Gil: Drat! It’s ‘igh time the Cup shifted back to Lemco City, don’t you think? Where everybody’s neighborly an’ watches your back. An’ there aren’t assassins crawlin’ everywhere.

Clem: There aren’t assassins crawling everywhere in Lemmington.

Gil: The ‘ell there aren’t! I ‘ad to step over one on me way into the stadium this afternoon.

Clem: Oh yeah? What’d he look like?

Gil: Sort of bedraggled. With a long scraggly beard an’ greasy, greasy clothes. An’ ‘e smelled right awful. An’ ‘e asked me for a lemming. Can you believe that? Assassins askin’ their target to pay ‘em for the privilege of bein’ killed by ‘em. Wot’s this world coming to?

Glick: It’s shameful.

Clem: Yeah, it sure is. So did you give him a lemming?

Gil: Wot, are you crazy? If I’d ‘ave given ‘im a lemmming, ‘e’d ‘ave killed me! Weren’t you listening?

Clem: Why the hell would an assassin have to be paid by his victim? If he was an assassin wouldn’t Shemp have paid him?

Gil: Shemp’s probably strapped for cash after bailing Mel out of the ‘oosegow.

Clem: So let me get this straight. You’re suggesting that Mel sent an assassin out to kill you, and said assassin waited for you outside the stadium to see if you’d pay him for the job. And since you refused to pay him, he refused to kill you.

Gil: That’s right. It was a near brush with Death.

Glick: Thank goodness you kept your wits about you. I think I would have panicked and given him the money.

Gil: And then you’d be dead. See, Glick, you ‘ave to learn to take care of yourself in this world. There’s a lot of dangerous characters runnin’ around.

Clem: There’s a lot of dangerous characters running around in your world, anyway.

Clem: So here for the cointoss are Mick Mickelson and fionar. fionar calls it, and wins. So the Longfoots will start with possession. Mick chooses to defend the right side of the field. We had good luck with that side against the Goofballs.

Gil: Speakin’ of which, lemme tell you about the time the Zestful Ones went to town on me person with the implements of bodily ‘arm.

Clem: After the kickoff, okay? antarcticad at midfield passes to longipesp, and we’re under way. The lineup for Errinundera is fionar in goal, delegatensise, nitense, and sandrab on defense, handesydec, horstrac, melanoxylona, and moschatuma at midfield, and adealbata, antarcticad, and longipesp at striker. For the Lemmings, Lemma Mingstein in goal; Mikki Miskatone, Will Spud, Yusuke Mishiwa, and Mike McSheen on defense; Phil Flanders, Mick Mickelson, and Lana Maelstrom in midfield; and Wilma Leemcoola, Vera Michaels, and the great Henny Henneman at striker. handeysec now with the ball, as the Longfoots test out the Lemming defense. A lot of brown-and-green shirts in the crowd today.

Gil: Why?

Clem: Those are the colors of the Errinundrian flag.

Gil: Oh. A lot of naked people, too, I notice.

Clem: Yeah, the Errinundrians like to run around that way. It’s legal in Lemmitania, though not many foreign visitors seem to take advantage. Now, there’s been some talk in the press about the Curse.

Gil: Wot curse?

Clem: The Curse of Brazillico.

Gil: Oh, you mean because they tried to arrest us way back when?

Clem: I’m talking about the well-known fact that Brazillico is the only team ever to have eliminated Lemmitania from a World Cup.

Gil: You don’t say.

Clem: Come on, even you know this. In World Cup three, we went into the last game of the group round with a chance to advance, but Brazillico beat us and we were eliminated. In World Cup four, they beat us in the quarterfinals. And last time around...

Gil: Last time around wot?

Clem: I was giving you the opportunity to finish it for me.

Gil: Oh. Last time around... Brazillico beat us again?

Clem: Think hard. You’ll get it.

Gil: Oh, you know wot ‘appened in the last World Cup? We played Brazillico in the championship.

Clem: Yes, I do know that.

Gil: Wull, Glick may not ‘ave. ‘e’s new to this.

Glick: This whole Curse business is fascinating.

Gil: And scary.

Clem: What’s scary about it?

Gil: A curse is in’erently scary. That’s just part of its appeal.

Clem: I don’t know if there’s anything scary about it. Anyway, my point was that a lot of people are actually convinced that we’ll be meeting Brazillico again this time around, in either the championship or the consolation match. I’ve heard that people are risking their life’s fortunes on it.

Gil: Wot, you mean gambling?

Clem: Yeah.

Gil: Ain’t gambling illegal in Lemmitania?

Clem: Who the hell knows? These laws keep flipping back and forth all the time.

Gil: It’s true. No sooner does the government decide gambling should be illegal than you turn around and people are complaining that gambling should be illegal again. Meanin’ that some’ow it went back to bein’ legal without anybody noticin’.

Clem: antarcticad with a lovely shot on goal, but it’s wrapped up by Mingstein. The Lemmings go on the attack. She tosses it to Maelstrom, who dribbles upfield and passes to Mickelson.

Gil: I wonder wot me Errinundrian name would be?

Clem: Your Errinundrian name?

Gil: Yeh. They all ‘ave freaky names with no capital letters, you know.

Clem: They haven’t discovered capital-letter technology.

Gil: Ooo! That’s wot I was about to say. You sneaky little bastard.

Clem: Heh heh.

Gil: Anyroad, I think I’d be called deanosporticus.

Clem: That sounds Roman. How about deanosporticad?

Gil: That sounds Greek. ‘ow ‘bout deanosportem?

Clem: I don’t know. Let me roll it around on my tongue. deanosportem. deanosportem. Yeah, I think that’s pretty good. I think I’ll be clemolem.

Gil: That ‘as a nice ring to it. We’ll call Mel maniacyl. An’ Shemp’s sneakibastid.

Clem: sneakibastid doesn’t sound like an Errinundrian name. We could call him exdeanosportem.

Gil: ‘ow about weaselwooley?

Clem: No, I’ve got it. weasyly. That’d be Shemp’s name.

Gil: Hee hee. That’s a good one. Wot’ll we call Glick?

Clem: Hmm. I don’t really know anything about Glick. He’s too new. What should you be called in Errinundera, Glick?

Glick: I don’t know. Any name you pick out for me would be fine.

Gil: That’s wot I like about you, Glick. We’ll call you agreeabl.

Clem: Or toadi.

Gil: No, no. No pejorative names.

Clem: Oh, like maniacyl and weasyly aren’t pejorative?

Gil: They’re descriptive!

Clem: So’s toadi.

Gil: Anyway, toadi is a girl’s name.

Clem: How do you figure?

Gil: Any name ending in “i” is always a girl’s name.

Clem: What about Luigi?

Gil: It’s agreeabl, and that’s that. Now we’re all set, we can pack our bags for Errinundera.

Clem: Or just stay here and call the game.

Gil: Wot would we want to do that for?

Clem: What do you want to go to Errinundera for?

Gil: I want to try out my nice new name.

Clem: I’ll tell you what. For the rest of the broadcast, we’ll use Errinundrian names exclusively.

Gil: Oh goody.

Clem: maelstroml is pressing an attack, facing sandrab and moschatuma. she passes back to veramik who heads it to wilmcoolamee.

Gil: Ooo! Oo! Lemme do some. wilmcoolamee gives it to mcquantumik ‘oo’s covered by one of the real Errinundrians.

Clem: that’s handeysec.

Gil: Thanks, clemolem.

Clem: no problem, deanosportem.

Gil: That’s clever ‘ow you’re not using any capital letters when you talk.

Clem: it’s not easy to do, let me tell you.

Gil: Even saying names without capitals is ‘ard. Puts a strain on the tongue.

Clem: yeah, i think i’m going to drop it in a minute.

Gil: Ooo, speaking of which, did I ever tell you about wot ‘appened with the Zestful Ones yet?

Clem: what does that have to do with anything?

Gil: Wot does that ‘ave to do with anything? Wull, I obviously ‘aven’t told you the story yet, or you’d know wot that ‘as to do with anything.

Clem: so fire away.

Gil: Which is just wot ‘ennyenneman ‘as just done. A nice shot on goal by the enervated striker, but denied by fionar.

Clem: i’m impressed you know fionar’s name.

Gil: ‘oose name?

Clem: never mind.

Forums working again, yet?

BRAZILLICO TO WITHDRAW FROM INTERNATIONAL COMPETITION AFTER SIXTH CUP

With a revolution in full swing and possible upheaval of the Brazillican governmental system, this edition of the World Cup has gone almost unnoticed amongst its citizens. Since television cables have been knocked out and very few local press were sent to cover the games in these troubled times, the only news of the Chili Bats comes from the odd match report here and there.

Brazillican football fans suffered even more disappointment today, when the Brazillico Football Association announced they would not be sending a team to participate in World Cup 7.

"This is a very difficult decision for us," said B.F.A. president Ronaldo Charis, "But we feel with all the turmoil at home and with regards to the safety of the players, this is the best decision. We don't anticipate re-entering until the political situation has been cleared up."

This statement by Charis, which will no doubt be surrounded by contreversy in view of the Brazillican fans and the international community, has left Brazillico's players with a sense of urgency, knowing it is most likely their last chance at hoisting the cup.

It appears Brazillico will be leaving behind arguably one of the greatest football dynasties in World Cup history, having participated in five World Cups, making it past the group stage four times and reaching the semi-finals three times in succession, including a victory in World Cup 5. Brazillico will play Spaam tonight to see if they can keep it alive just a bit longer.

In Errinundera a beautiful day is dawning. Spring is nigh and 900 million set their alarms early for the most important moment so far of World Cup 6. And the other 488 million? Either too young, or too old, or nazis, or just not interested. But that's OK. In the land of the long-footed potoroo we admire those who thumb their nose at everyone else.

So it's up at the crack of dawn and off to the nearest public screening of the game with copious supplies of sparkly and cake. Champagne and Snowy River Mud Cake have become the tradition of this cup. One wag's nickname of the Bubble n Sludge Cup has become the semi-official title of the event.

All over the nation giant screens have been installed in public places and a sense of impending celebration develops as the rising sun greets the kick-off. Errinundera now provides its own visual coverage but, due to popular demand, the Lemmitanian Radio Network provides the commentary. Gil and the team fascinate people everywhere.

Lets take a tour of the nation to see how we go about this odd ritual of football barracking.

Up north In Bonang, the nation's largest city and only new to the enchantments of football, viewing terraces have been cut into the sides of the low hills that surround the city. Due to the historical and tragic de-forestation of the area by the rapacious NGDV Ltd this is one of the few places in the nation where people live in ground houses. Tree-house people call them blockheads and are called airheads in return. All the children are wearing thick, warm (no wool!) jackets and beanies and scarves in the national colours of white, green and brown. It is such a treat for them to go on this adventure so early in the morning. Here are two little girls talking:

hred: I've got a handesydec swap card!

greenhe: So. I've got a sandrab swap card!

hred: My handesydec card is better than your sandrab card.

greenhe: Well, I'm not going to share my sandrab card with you.

hred: Who wants a stupid pus-head sandrab card anyway?

greenhe: You're not my friend anymore. You're not coming to my house ever again.

hred: I don't want to come to your house...

Lets go further south into the heart of the Errinundrian forest, to the seldom-visited, mysterious village of Fanny Moo. The forest is so dense here that you could walk under the village and not be aware of its existence. Except for the influence of football. Here, three screens have been placed on an elevated platform in a clearing in the centre of the village. The screens have been ingeniously placed so that all the villagers can watch the game by sitting on the skywalks with their feet dangling over the sides. They link arms and sing the football anthem, "We won't cry for you, Errinund'ra". This is a poor village and life is hard. But star player, sandrab, was born and bred in Fanny Moo. The villagers are so proud of her. When her face appears on the screen as the Errinundrian national anthem is played in the Lemmitanian National Stadium, tears come to their eyes.

Across in First Creek Falls, the nation's beautiful capital, it seems that the entire city has assembled along the banks of the canals of the upper city - the water quarter. Screens have been placed on hundreds of gondolas in the centre of the canals. A huge cheer erupts as fionar wins the toss and antarcticad takes the kick-off. Roars of approval greet clemolem's and deanosportem's description of the game using Errinundrian naming conventions. These commentators are much loved in this city. It seems they can do no wrong.

Down south in the lowland jungles of Bemm River the people, favoured by the warmer climate, have made a tradition of attending these broadcasts naked. The conservative old matrons tut-tut at anyone gouche enough to wear something at such an auspicious event. String quartets play everywhere, accompanied by people performing slow, graceful, erotic dances. Unlike Bonang, Ploser Microfibres doesn't get much business down here for football clothing. They do a roaring trade, however, in footballs and flags.

Everywhere in Errinundera the swap cards, the cakes, the champagne, the music, the dancing, the gondolas, the grief of hard work, are forgotten as a terrifically exciting game unfolds.

BRAZILLICO TO WITHDRAW FROM INTERNATIONAL COMPETITION AFTER SIXTH CUP

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

So, I guess you figure now that Errinundera's broken The Curse, you have nothing left to play for, eh?

<OOC>Apologies for the delay. I hope it's worth the wait.</OOC>

Gil: So with the game settlin’ nicely into a pattern of kick--run--kick--run, it seems as if the time ‘as come to tell the sordid tale of the time the Zestful Ones beat me with the various implements of bodily ‘arm.

Clem: Sure, what the hell? I’ll interrupt if anything exciting happens on the field.

Gil: Right. Well, as luck would ‘ave it, I was patronizing the sportin’ goods department at Luningdale’s department store one day, when I ‘eard the most ‘orror-makin’ noise. Like the sound of a dozen-and-a-’alf Bikes of Doom approaching through the aisles.

Clem: You should remind our listeners, for those who may have forgotten, that they have no traffic laws to speak of on Goofball Island.

Gil: Traffic laws? Wot do traffic laws ‘ave to do with anything?

Clem: Otherwise people might wonder how it is that you heard eighteen motorcycles being driven through the store.

Gil: Eighteen motor-- wot are you goin’ on about, Clem? Are you listening to some other story on your ‘eadphones there? ‘oo is it you’re talking to?

Clem: I’m talking to you. You said you heard a dozen-and-a-half motorcycles approaching you through the aisles of Luningdale’s!

Gil: I never did. I said I ‘eard a ‘orror-makin’ noise, like the sound of a dozen-and-a-’alf bikes approaching.

Clem: Okay, but our listeners might be sitting there wondering why you’d have heard a sound like eighteen motorcycles approaching through the store if they didn’t know about the absence of traffic laws on Goofball Island.

Gil: There you go again bringin’ motorcycles into it! ‘oo said anything about motorcycles, is wot I want to know.

Clem: Bikes! Motorcycles! What’s the difference?

Gil: Wull, if you don’t know the difference between a bike an’ a motorcycle, clemolem, I guess I’ll ‘ave to explain it to you.

Clem: I guess you will.

Gil: Okay, well, it’s really very simple, you see, on a typical motorcycle, there’s a big loud motor. That’s where they get the name ‘motorcycle’ from, it refers to the fact that the ve’icle is motorized. You now wot a motor is?

Clem: Obviously, I know what a motor is.

Gil: I take nothing for granted. Okay. So a motorcycle’s got a motor. You follow me so far?

Clem: A motorcycle has a motor. Got it.

Gil: Okay. A motorcycle ‘as a motor. A bicycle, meanwhile, is powered by a set of devices known as ‘pedals’ wot you push on with your feet to make the wheels spin ‘round. If you want to see wot I mean by that, just go look out on the street. Bicycles are the most common mode of transportation in Lemmitania.

Clem: Thank you for that clarification. I think all of us already knew that. What we didn’t know is that when you said ‘bike’ you were referring to bicycles, and not to motorcycles, as one would assume. Since you were going to tell us the story of your encounter with the Zestful Ones, which, as you informed us the other day, is a Goofballian motorcycle gang.

Gil: Motorcycle gang? I never said anythin’ about the Zestful Ones bein’ a motorcycle gang. I said they’re a bike gang. Which they are.

Clem: So they’re a bicycle gang? They ride around on bicycles?

Gil: That’s right.

Clem: Inspiring terror in the hearts of millions?

Gil: You know it.

Clem: I suppose it would help to keep in mind this is Goofball Island we’re talking about. Where people shave their skunks and have them pierced.

Gil: Oh, that was just a fad. They got over that years ago.

Clem: But the Zestful Ones continue their reign of terror.

Gil: Yeh. So anyroad, there I was milling about the sportin’ goods department lookin’ for a new fishswatter when I ‘eard the most ‘orrid noise, like about eighteen bikes rollin’ willy-nilly through the aisles, their warning bells a-ringing.

Clem: So the Zestful Ones have bells on their bikes?

Gil: Of course. ‘ow else would they warn people to get the ‘ell out of the way?

Clem: And what the hell is a fishswatter?

Gil: Oh, come on, Clem, don’t try and tell me you don’t know wot a fishswatter is. ‘aven’t you ever been fishing?

Clem: A few times.

Gil: An’ wot did you use to subdue the fish once you yanked ‘em out of the water?

Clem: Well, the fish pretty much died once I pulled them out of the water.

Gil: They died? ‘ow’d they manage to die without being bonked with a fishswatter?

Clem: Well, they basically asphyxiated as a result of not being able to breathe air. Seeing as they have no lungs.

Gil: Ugh. Wot an ‘orrible, in’umane way to kill fish. Poor li’le buggers. Suffocated to death. You’re a terrible person.

Clem: You, on the other hand, humanely kill your fish with a ‘fishswatter,’ whatever the hell that is.

Gil: I told you, a fishswatter’s wot you bonk the fish with. Kills ‘em painlessly an’ without muss or fuss. An’ instantaneously.

Clem: I see.

Gil: If you ‘it ‘em just right. If you don’t ‘it ‘em right, of course, it’s mussy, fussy, and probably painful for the fish.

Clem: So you have to know how to handle a fishswatter.

Gil: Oh, absolutely. It’s not a device you can just ‘and to someone an’ expect ‘em to use it properly. A mis’andled fishswatter can cause pain, suffering, an’ injury to fish an’ operator alike.

Clem: And how exactly do you use a fishswatter, anyway?

Gil: Well, ‘ave you ever operated a flyswatter?

Clem: Of course.

Gil: Same principle. Except for the electrical systems an’ the ‘ydraulics, or course.

Clem: A fishswatter’s like a hydraulic flyswatter?

Gil: Basically.

Clem: Okay, I for one cannot even imagine how that would work. And I’m guessing that most of our listeners can’t either.

Gil: Wull, I’d like to explain it, but if I was to launch into the why’s an’ wherefore’s of ‘ow ‘ydraulics work, I doubt we’d be done with the story by the end of the broadcast. Suffice to say that it ‘as to do with pressure, and that the ‘ydraulic rams in a fishswatter produce enough of the stuff to crush the brains of even the most uncooperative fish.

Clem: ‘The stuff’ being pressure, I assume?

Gil: That’s right.

Clem: And an uncooperative fish being...

Gil: You know, a two-meter thrashing tooth-filled flying people-eater kind of fish. Like a shark or a tuna or somethin’.

Clem: A fishswatter is designed to subdue a two-meter shark, then.

Gil: It can be used for that, yeh. But mostly I fish for brook trout and stuff.

Clem: So you use a smaller fishswatter, then, I take it?

Gil: Smaller? Smaller than wot?

Clem: Smaller than the full-sized one you’d use to kill a people-eating shark.

Gil: Fishswatters only come in one size, Clem.

Clem: ...I see.

Gil: So I was down in the sportin’ goods department on the lower level of Luningdale’s, when with a ‘orrible noise and a flash of pink I suddenly found meself amidst a passel of the meanest-lookin’ Zestful Ones you ever did see.

Clem: A flash of pink? Were they sunburned?

Gil: Sunburned? Wot?

Clem: What was the flash of pink?

Gil: Their bikes Clem. Their bikes You’re not too good at followin’ a story, are you?

Clem: Their bikes are pink?

Gil: That’s right.

Clem: The Zestful Ones ride pink bicycles.

Gil: As everyone knows.

Clem: Are they gay?

Gil: Wot a stupid question. You don’t ‘ave to be gay to like pink, Clem.

Clem: You’re right, that was a stupid question. I apologize to the homosexual orientation.

Gil: On be’alf of gays everywhere, I accept your apology.

Clem: You can’t accept the apology on behalf of gays everywhere unless you’re gay yourself.

Gil: ‘oo says I’m not gay?

Clem: You have, many times. Anyway you’re in love with Lana Maelstrom, and she’s a woman.

Gil: I don’t know if I’d say I’m in love with ‘er. I just fantasize about ‘er a lot.

Clem: Anyway, we all know you’re straight as an arrow. So the apology will just have to go unaccepted.

Gil: Waitaminit, there must be someone else gay around ‘ere. Mike, are you gay?

Glick: I’m gay.

Gil: ‘ow convenient. On be’alf of gays everywhere, do you accept Clem’s apology for insultin’ your sexual orientation?

Glick: I’d e honored to accept the apology.

Gil: Are you sure? It’s a big responsibility. Billions of ‘omosexuals are relying on you ‘ere.

Glick: I think I can handle the responsibility.

Gil: Great. You’re a good kid. Now that’s settled, we can get back to the matter at ‘and. So there I was, suddenly surrounded by Zestful Ones, and a meaner bunch of Zestful Ones you never did see.

Clem: Oooh! Oooh! Halftime.

Gil: ‘ow inconvenient. Wull, the conclusion of the story will ‘ave to wait, seeing as Sally wants to cut for some important messages ‘ere.

Clem: So heading into the break, no score. We’ll be right back.

Clem: Kicking off to start the second half, here’s Vera Michaels. She’ll pass to Henny Henneman, and we’re under way.

Gil: Wot ‘appened to the Errinundrian names?

Clem: They’re too damn hard to say. Made my mouth hurt.

Gil: ‘oo ever ‘eard of a country without capital letters, anyroad? Errinundera must be a shambles.

Clem: It’s not a shambles, it’s a very nice place. They all live in trees, you know.

Gil: Much like the Lunatic Goofballs.

Clem: The Goofballs don’t live in trees.

Gil: Some of ‘em do. The Zestful Ones do.

Clem: The Lemmings have a strong attack going. After that very even first half, with three failed shots on goal by each side, Coach Lemster’s really got them playing aggressively now. Maelstrom and moschatuma are mixing it up down there, and meanwhile Michaels screens Henneman’s defender and he’s got the ball inside the Longfoots’ penalty box. Leemcoola’s there and he sends it her way, Lana shoulders her man to the ground, and she’s in he box as well. Leemcoola shoots! Off fionar’s chest, Maelstrom and sandrab are battling for it, Henneman and moschatuma going for it as well, and someone kicks it away. I think it was nitense getting a foot on it, but it’s not clear. Michaels and delegatensise battling for it now just outside the box, and there’s a whistle! delegatensise draws the yellow card! And she’s not pleased with the ref. It’s getting rough down there, though. I don’t know, it looked like they were kicking each other pretty good, and the Lemmings got the home advantage on that call. Michaels throws it in to Henneman, he heads it to Maelstrom and she has a shot! Nicely handled by fionar this time. And with the long toss to antarcticad, action shifts back the other way.

Gil: So there I was in a sea of pink two-wheelers. An’ ‘oo do you think I found meself face-to-face with?

Clem: Just waiting for me to take a breath so you could launch back into your story, were you?

Gil: Yes. So ‘oo do you think I found meself face-to-face with, Clem?

Clem: How the hell would I know? Audrey Hepburn?

Gil: Ridin’ with the Zestful Ones? Are you crazy? Audrey was never rugged enough to ride with the Zestful Ones.

Clem: So who did you find yourself face-to-face with?

Gil: With Zesty Nick ‘imself. An’ ‘e climbed right off ‘is bike an’ said--

Clem: Zesty Nick being...?

Gil: Don’t tell me you don’t know ‘oo Zesty Nick is?

Clem: Considering I’ve never heard of the Zestful ones outside of your little story, here, how would I have any idea who Zesty Nick is?

Gil: Well, Clem, some say ‘e’s the devil incarnate. Others say ‘e’s just the meanest, zestiest dude ‘oo ever rode a bike. But either way, ‘e’s trouble.

Clem: What’s he, the leader of the gang?

Gil: ‘e was the founder of the gang. ‘e rides the pinkest bike, an’ ‘e leads the zestiest lifestyle of them all. ‘e’s also the most fastidious.

Clem: Are the Zestful Ones fastidious, then?

Gil: Are they? You know wot you ‘ave to do to become a member of the gang, Clem? You ‘ave to pick out a random victim, follow ‘im (or ‘er) ‘ome, break in, and clean up ‘is (or ‘er) ‘ouse until it’s so spic and span it’s unrecognizable. They’re ‘orrifyin’!

Clem: That’s just weird.

Gil: So Zesty Nick climbed off ‘is bike an’ of course the first thing I’m thinkin’ is, ‘oh crap, I ‘ope me shirt’s tucked in an me ‘air’s combed straight,’ ‘cause one thing you definitely don’t want is Zesty Nick chastisin’ you for improper groomin’. But luckily I was dressed neatly, and me necktie was knotted properly, or Zesty Nick would probably ‘ave throttled me to death right then and there.

Clem: Yeah.

Gil: you don’t sound properly intimidated by the Zestful Ones, Clem.

Clem: They don’t sound so scary to me.

Gil: Wull, you wouldn’t say that if you’d ever been ‘alf a meter from Zesty Nick.

Glick: I think it sounds harrowing.

Gil: Believe me, kid, it was. So Zesty Nick says to me, “Pardon me, sir, where is the display of new bicycles?” An’ I was scared so shiteless that I couldn’t think straight an’ I accidentally said, “’ere, I’ll show you,” instead of the more proper, “Excuse me while I run away.” So once the words were out of me mouth there wasn’t anything for it but to lead Nick an’ the gang over to where the bikes are kept. Except that unfortunately, I didn’t actually know where they kept the bike display, and so I sort of lead the Zestful Ones on a wild goose chase, if you know wot I mean. And once he realized that I didn’t know wot the ‘ell I was doin, Zesty Nick became enraged. As ‘e’s wont to do.

Clem: Ooookay.

Gil: An’ that’s when ‘e said to ‘is boys, “Gentlemen, I do not believe that this individual is an employee of Luningdale’s at all. I believe that ‘e is an impostor trying to lead us astray. Please grab whatever implements you may find at ‘and and begin thrashing ‘im to within an inch of ‘is life.” An’ so that’s ‘ow I came to be beaten with the penguins. And then--

Clem: Penguins? Where the hell did the penguins come from?

Gil: I don’t know. An’arctica I guess. Where do penguins usually come from?

Clem: How did the penguins come to be what the Zestful Ones found at hand to trash you with?

Gil: I told you, I led them on a wild goose chase. The penguins are kept in the wild bird display, right next to the geese. Obviously. So then I--

Clem: They actually sell wild geese and penguins at Luningdale's?

Gil: No, they don’t sell wild geese. You just chase ‘em. If you want to buy geese you ‘ave to get domesticated ones. Wild geese are much too dangerous to sell to consumers. Only experts can ‘andle ‘em.

Clem: Oh. Of course.

Gil: ‘Wild goosperts,’ they call ‘em. So of course I made a break an’ ran for it. With eighteen Zestful Ones in ‘ot pursuit, brandishing penguins. Oh, it was awful. They caught up with me right by a display in which a family of mannequins was settin’ up for table-tennis, badminton, an’ cricket, and those Zestful Ones wot ‘adn’t managed to ‘old on to their penguins, laid ‘ands on various implements from the display. So I found meself thoroughly beaten with penguins, ping-pong paddles, badminton rackets, cricket wickets, and a pink sweater.

Clem: One of them beat you with a pink sweater, did he?

Gil: There’s only so many paddles, rackets, and wickets in a display, after all. So one of ‘em stripped the sweater off one of the mannequins and ‘ad at me with that. Fortunately, store security caught wind of wot was goin’ on when a passerby ‘appened to ‘ear me impassioned shrieks for ‘elp, and they showed up ten or fifteen minutes into the beatin’ an’ shooed the Zestful Ones off to the bicycle display, where they belonged.

Clem: They didn’t arrest them or kick them out of the store or something?

Gil: You don’t arrest the Zestful Ones, Clem. And you sure as ‘ell don’t kick ‘em out of your store. Not unless you want something bad to ‘appen to your store late at night. I remember one incident years ago when a certain fast-food joint kicked some Zestful Ones out for bad be’avior, and a week later every store in the chain was toilet-papered in the middle of the night.

Clem: So store security saved you. What did you do then?

Gil: I bought a fishswatter, of course. An’ snuck off so the Zestful Ones wouldn’t see which way I’d gone.

Clem: Clever.

Gil: I thot so. I wish I’d kept me ‘ead on me shoulders an’ done that when I first sensed the presence of the Zestful Ones in the store. I might ‘ave saved meself a beating. On the other ‘and, the Cosmic Dice might ‘ave just been against me that day.

Clem: You never know.

<OOC>I don't know what's going on with the forums, but I'm having a heck of a time. Probably everyone's having problems, as it looks like something's up with the server. I hope we don't lose everything. Anyway, this is my final try at getting the final piece posted. It's 3 am and I just want to go to bed!</OOC>

Clem: So potoroo with her third shot of the day, and Lemma continues to deny the Longfoots. Eighty minutes and we’re still scoreless.

Gil: And so it will remains until the Lemmings get the gamewinner.

Clem: You’re pretty sure we’re going to win it, huh?

Gil: Absolutely. ‘aven’t you ‘eard about the Curse?

Clem: I told you about it, remember?

Gil: Everybody in Lemmitania knows the Lemmings are going to win this game. An’ wot did you call the Errinundrian striker? I thot ‘er name was, um... some other Errinundrian name.

Clem: longipesp. Her nickname’s potoroo.

Gil: ‘ow come?

Clem: I don’t know precisely. Errinundrians love potoroos. I guess they think she’s cute and cuddly like one.

Gil: Like one wot?

Clem: Like one potoroo.

Gil: A potoroo’s a kind of monkey, ain’t it?

Clem: Mmm, I think it’ a marsupial.

Gil: It’s a marsupial monkey. An evolutionary freak. It’s the only primate to ‘ave evolved a marsupial reproductive system.

Clem: That’s impossible. A primate can’t have a marsupial reproductive system, that would be de-evolution.

Gil: ‘ow do you figure?

Clem: The marsupial is the least evolved mammal. The primate is the most evolved.

Gil: Arguably.

Clem: A primate could develop a more evolved reproductive system, but not a less evolved one.

Gil: Wull, I’m no evolutionary biologist, Clem, but I think you must be wrong about that. The potoroo, also known as the “pocket monkey,” is the only marsupial primate. you can’t argue with the facts.

Clem: What you’re describing is impossible. Either you’re wrong about it being a primate or I’m wrong about it being a marsupial.

Gil: You know, marsupials aren’t the least-evolved mammals. The least-evolved mammals are monotremata.

Clem: I don’t count them. They’re not really mammals.

Gil: The ‘ell you say! Try telling that to a duck-billed platypus and see if it doesn’t scratch your eyes out!

Clem: Classifying monotremata as mammals is simply archaic. It’s just a matter of time until they’re reclassified.

Gil: Oh, try that, and they’ll ‘ave riots on their ‘ands.

Clem: Yeah, I’m sure the platypy are going to rise up. You know what? I’m not sure the potoroo is a primate at all.

Gil: Of course it is. Wot else would it be?

Clem: I think it’s a rodent.

Gil: A marsupial rodent? Like a kangaroo rat?

Clem: Exactly. Only not like a rat, that doesn't call up cute, cuddly images.

Gil: Speak for yourself. Lots of people like to cuddle their rats.

Clem: Yeah, that’s true.

Gil: Apologize to the rat-lovers or you’ll make ‘em mad.

Clem: To rat-lovers everywhere, I apologize for saying rats aren’t cuddly.

Gil: Apology accepted.

Clem: Are you a rat-lover, then?

Gil: ‘ell no. I find rats disgustin’ an’ ‘orrible.

Clem: Then, once again, you can’t accept the apology for them.

Gil: Fine. Any rat-lovers around ‘ere?

Glick: Don’t look at me.

Gil: You know ‘oo would like rats? I bet Lana Maelstrom likes rats.

Clem: I don’t know. I’d think she’s more of a snake person.

Gil: Wot, and you can’t like both rats and snakes?

Clem: Usually snake people consider rats a tasty snack for their snake. It’d be pretty unusual for someone to keep both snakes and rats as pets.

Gil: Oh. Good point. Well, the apology will just ‘ave to ‘ang in the air unaccepted. Be careful not to bask your ‘ead on it.

Clem: I’ll watch out.

Gil: But if the potoroo ain’t a primate, ‘ow come it’s in league with the femur monkeys?

Clem: What the hell are you talking about now?

Gil: The femur monkeys. The ones wot can crawl inside your legs and wreak ‘avoc. Throwing spanners into the works an’ all.

Clem: Aha! So you do know what a spanner is!

Gil: A wot?

Clem: A spanner! The word you just said!

Gil: I don’t know wot a spanner is. I just gathered from wot you and Mel said the other day that it’s something you can throw in the works. To gum ‘em up. So I assume it’s some sort of works-gum, or something.

Clem: All right, I won’t pursue it. But what’s this about the potoroos being in league with the femur monkeys?

Gil: Well, from wot I understand, it’s the potoroos wot get the femur monkeys into your leg in the first place.

Clem: And how exactly do they do that?

Gil: With their pouches, obviously.

Clem: With their pouches?

Gil: Yeah, marsupials ‘ave pouches in their tummies for their babies to sit in. Like ‘possums.

Clem: So what does that have to do with femur monkeys getting into your legs?

Gil: Well, the femur monkey ‘as to ‘ave some sort of avenue for getting inside the body, right? And wot better way to get into someone’s body than through a pouch in their tummy?

Clem: Which makes no sense at all.

Gil: It makes perfect sense! The potoroo, whether it be rat or monkey, invites the femur monkey into its nice cozy li’le pouch. The unsuspecting femur monkey limbs in, thinking it’ll be a nice place to take a li’le nap. And wham! The sneaky li’le potoroo’s captured itself another poor li’le femur monkey inside its evil pouch.

Clem: That’s nuts.

Gil: The potoroos are nuts. They’re little maniacs. Kidnapping femur monkeys and sticking them in people’s legs.

Clem: For what purpose?

Gil: To bring down society! Potoroos are anarchists. We should just count ourselves lucky it’s not bombs they’re sticking in people’s legs.

Clem: Oh look, antarcticad’s just scored a goal.

Gil: Wot!? Impossible!

Clem: Watch the replay on the scoreboard.

Gil: Wow. That’s a beautiful scoreboard. They can actually show pictures on it. ‘ow come we don’t ‘ave a scoreboard like that in Lemco City?

Clem: I think the words “Municipal Stadium” say it all. So at the eighty-nine minute mark, antarcticad scores the first goal of the game on a wicked crosser from the right side of the penalty box. Lemma almost got to it, but after making nine saves on the day she was finally beaten.

Gil: This can’t be ‘appening. Errinundera’s going to win. Wot right ‘av they got to beat the Lemmings in an elimination game? Only Brazillico’s authorized to do that.

Clem: Vera Michaels is kicking it off. Their coach has pulled a midfielder and a striker and put in defenders instead. Michaels kicks to Henneman, but with nothing but penalty minutes left to play, it’s going to be a truly incredible finish if we tie it up.

Gil: Those naked Errinundrians in the stands are getting pelted with refuse, Clem.

Clem: Cripes. What a sorry show. Stadium security’s trying to round up the culprits, but it’s about a hundred people in the “D” seats, and they’re never going to be able to get all of them. They should all get jail time for that. Throwing garbage at visiting spectators is about the lowest thing you can do.

Gil: Maybe not. Look wot’s ‘appening in the bleachers.

Clem: Um... I think we have a riot in progress.

Gil: They’re tearin’ the benches out and tossing ‘em over the top of the stadium wall.

Clem: Into the parking lot. Geez, hundreds of bikes are going to get damaged.

Gil: I’m glad I don’t drive a bike.

Clem: Well, I do. And mine’s parked down there.

Gil: You can always ride the train ‘ome.

Clem: I may have to. Fans are starting to leak onto the field. The bleachers are completely screwed now.

Gil: You know wot they don’t ‘ave enough of around ‘ere? Stadium security.

Clem: Thank goodness the game’s over. Well, it was a decent run for the Lemmings, making it to the quarterfinals for the third straight Cup. Should keep them in the top ten teams in the world for a while. And congratulations to the Longfoots of Errinundera, who are proceeding to the semifinals, where they’ll be rematched with Quohog, their rivals from the qualifiers.

Gil: The crowd’s chanting. Wot are they saying?

Clem: Um.. I think it’s, “No, no, you can’t go, we only lose to Brazillico.” People had a very strong emotional investment in the Curse.

Gil: Not to mention the financial investment. If the rumor of life’s savings being wagered are true.

Clem: Yeah, wow. No wonder they’re rioting, when you come to think of it.

Gil: They’re laying waste to that lovely turf. Stadium security’s doing their best to ‘erd people off the field, but they’re not ‘aving much luck.

Clem: Cops are starting to come out of the lockerroom tunnels in riot gear now. They’re bashing people with clubs and hauling them away.

Gil: This would never ‘appen in Lemco City, you know. ‘ey ‘oo’s that bangin’ on the door of the booth? Glick, go see ‘oo that is.

Clem: If it’s rioters, bar the door.

Glick: It’s a couple of naked people.

Gil: Wot do they want?

Glick: They’re Errinundrians. They’re angry about some of the things you said about potoroos.

Gil: Well, wot do they want?

Glick: They want you to apologize to the potoroo species for calling it a kangaroo rat.

Clem: Fine. Done. We would like to apologize to the potoroo species for any insulting comments we may have made while trying to figure out what the hell it is.

Gil: I ‘ope we didn’t inspire rioting in Errinundera.

Clem: Errinundrians don’t riot.

Gil: Oh yeh? That’s not wot I’ve ‘eard. Seems to me they ‘ad a riot just a few weeks ago.

Clem: Over what?

Gil: A football game.

Clem: Lemmitania and Errinundera. Kindred spirits.

Gil: Or something.

Clem: Look, I don’t think this stadium is a safe place to be. People are setting what remains of the bleachers on fire.

Gil: That’s okay. The police are turnin’ fire ‘oses on ‘em.

Clem: Anyway, I’m signing off and getting the hell out of here. For your host, Glick Masterson, our fabulous crew, Mike and Sally, the Dean of Lemmitanian sports, Gil Lemson, and the entire Lemmings organization, this is Clem Gilson, the Voice of the Lemmings, saying good night and thanks for listening.

Gil: I still say this would never ‘appen in Lemco City. ‘Cause if we were in Lemco City, we’d ‘ave won.

Clem: Whatever.

BRAZILLICO TO WITHDRAW FROM INTERNATIONAL COMPETITION AFTER SIXTH CUP

- Margaret!! Did you see this? About Brazillico?
- Ye (hic) p. Me an' my li'l rubber sh (hic) en shaw it. We are...we...hey...what are we talkin' 'bout?
- Why, Margaret, I think you've had a drop too much!
- ...I've dropped too much what?

- Dammit! Hey, Ben! Brazillico's going to withdraw from international competition.
- Don't try to cheer me up, Eileen. I'm depressed. I earned this depression, and I'm gonna get my money's worth out of it.
- Oh, have your bloody depression!
- A fat lot of good. They waited just a few bloody games too long, if you ask me.

"Brazillico Chili Bats!!
(Oops - we mean "Chili Rats")
Are pullin' up their stakes
Hooligan Football was more 'n they could take!
BOO!! Chili Rats!! *raspberry sounds*"
...pause...
"Ah...and there's so much that rhymes with Bats"
----------------------------
OOC: :wink: Well - ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

~pales~

Lemmy's hosting the cup? What happened to Kingsford? And I thought WC6 would've been finished.... :?

News item from the Errinundrian Financial Review

http://afr.com/images/mast_secondary.gif
Circulation: clotted

CUP RIOTS CAUSE CAKE SHORTAGE

The Bonang manufacturing plant of thriving cake company Lammington Ltd was destroyed by rioting football fans incensed by the quarterfinal commentary of Lemmitania Radio Network. Chanting, "Potoroos are cute, give Lammington the boot," they broke into the local garage of woodchipping multi-national NGDV Ltd, stole the heavy equipment and flattened the cake factory."

"Errinundrians are mad," said Lammington CEO, stickyf, "We have nothing whatsoever to do with the Lemmitanian city of Lemmington. We had, until these idiots went berserk, 95% of the Snowy River mud cake market. Now what are the fans going to consume along with the champagne in the semi-final match? Talk about cutting your nose to spite your face."

Ellery Camp mayor, washingd, weighed into the controversy by declaring that it was the sort of thing you would expect from the blockheads up in denuded Bonang. "They can't even tell the difference between Lemmington and Lammington. And besides, only blockheads would invent, make and eat cakes that had gooey chocolate spread on all six sides and made a mess of your fingers."

"You airheads have missed the point entirely," says riot bystander, swellen. "This rapacious company has systematically driven small cake manufacturers to the wall. And worse, they are discouraging families from making their own. As the saying goes, the price of democracy is eternal vigilance and, as everyone knows, the greatest threat to democracy in the world today is the single-minded anti-people greed of big business. They must be stopped."

Investigations by TFR have revealed that swellen is not a native from Bonang but is renowned for her political agitation in First Creek Falls. Our reporter in Bonang confirms that the great majority of rioters were simply upset by the commentary of deanosportem and clemolem.

Prominent sociologist, averagea, pointed out that the obsessive desire of Errinundrians to be contrary sometimes led them to do inexplicable things. "This is an instance of the genuine love of the potoroo somehow getting mixed up with a desire to do something outrageous. Although it is unfortunate for business, and I condemn what has happened, it does give the hoi-polloi a sense of national identity."

Top advertising executive, smarket, regrets that he was born an Errinundrian. "Don't the people of this nation understand that it is an individual's right to rip off as many suckers as they can? You know what's happened in this nation? The suckers have taken control and they're suppressing the elite. I've tried seeking asylum in other nations but I'm always knocked back on the grounds that 1) I'm a economic refugee, not a political refugee, and 2) my life is not in danger. What is the world coming to?"

OOC: Ouch. Ok, I've gone through the archives and it looks like I owe people a big explanation apology. I was unexpectedly cut off from the net by my uni for over 3 weeks (well, anything outside the uni at any rate). No, I didn't do anything wrong :P So it seemed to me that I was about to become another Al Quds. Lucky you guys had Kingsford, or so I thought. It looks like Kingsford went away too.... When I came back, I pretty much didn't have much time for anything outside uni, and thought it would've been too late for any
explanation, and I was sure that Kingsford would've had everything under control. Then I checked my messages today and saw that I got some new ones with results. So I put 2 and 2 together, and came up with uhoh. So, ummmm.... yeah. I'm sorry that my incumbency has caused such a mess, and I give a huge apology and thankyou to Lemmitania, for cleaning up and has done what looks like a bang up job. You may now commence the beating :P

IC:
President Fin DeCáno (post revolution): You know minister, we should start up a football league.
Minister for Recreation and Sport Olo Dander: Football? Oh.... shit...
Fin: What?
Olo: Ummmm.... :oops:
Fin: Minister, what is it? :evil:
Olo: Well, just before the revolution, we, um, were hosting the Football World Cup....
Fin: Oh really? How did we do?
Olo: Well, um, I dunno.... we kinda forgot about them....
Fin: Minister.... where is our team?
Olo: Um.... let me just check....

....

Olo: Well, President, it looks like they're still playing in the World Cup.
Fin: But we're not hosting any World Cup now are we?
Olo: Well.... Lemmitania took over....
Fin: Ahhhh.... yes. My grandmother was Lemmitanian. Um.... have they gotten ANY support from us since the revolution?
Olo: Um.... no sir.... :oops:
*Fin takes out his silver handgun*
Fin: But you are going to remedy this situation aren't you? :twisted:
Olo: *gulp* Yes President.
Fin: Now before you go, how ARE we doing?
Olo: Well, it looks like we are playing off for 3rd place....
Fin: Excellent. Now GO!

****

New Spaam City News

The Ministry for Recreation and Sport has finally renewed contact with our national Football team which has been held up in Lemmitania for the past 2 years. After the first delegation mysteriously resigned citing health and psychological reasons, the second delegation has managed to supply the team with money and other demands, which were not released publicly. Our national team is playing off for 3rd place in WCVI, which was originally to be held in Spaam, but moved to Lemmitania during the revolution. The delegation has now been sent to renew contact with the Football World Cup committee, with a sizable donation. In other news, Olo Dander, Minister for Recreation and Sport, has been reported missing....

Top advertising executive, smarket, regrets that he was born an Errinundrian. "Don't the people of this nation understand that it is an individual's right to rip off as many suckers as they can? You know what's happened in this nation? The suckers have taken control and they're suppressing the elite. I've tried seeking asylum in other nations but I'm always knocked back on the grounds that 1) I'm a economic refugee, not a political refugee, and 2) my life is not in danger. What is the world coming to?"

Quohog Information Minister Baanes Dosti proclaimed that if smarket of Errinundera was still seeking asylum, Quohog would take him in. "I feel very sorry for this poor man. How many times have we seen people denied their right of ripping others off? Time and time again, yet the international community does nothing about it! Well, we are going to take a stand and accept smarket as a member of our country. We have sent the offer, but I'm not sure if he'll accept due to the slight rivalry between Errinundera football and Quohog football. Especially after that amazing match today! I'm sure that all of you will be tuning in to watch the complete game again after work."

And welcome back to the world of the living Spaam! I have no real problems with your disappearance, but then again, I didn't do any of the work! :wink:

And welcome back to the world of the living Spaam!

Well.... there's something I have to tell you....

~President DeCáno rips off mask to show zombie face~

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

Quohog,

Before you post a match report, I'd like to send you my team line-up for the game.



The Errinundrian term, "Bubble and Sludge Cup" was coined by a wag on the morning of the first Quohog - Errinundera qualifying match. Apart from the reference to the champagne and chocolate cake tradition then starting up it also has the following coded meaning:

Bubble = Errinundera

Sludge = Quohog

Quohog,

Before you post a match report, I'd like to send you my team line-up for the game.



The Errinundrian term, "Bubble and Sludge Cup" was coined by a wag on the morning of the first Quohog - Errinundera qualifying match. Apart from the reference to the champagne and chocolate cake tradition then starting up it also has the following coded meaning:

Bubble = Errinundera

Sludge = Quohog

OOC: Does the chocolate cake/Quohog reference mean your citizens love us freindly Quohogers? Or is refering to my nation as Sludge the insult that I'm going to take it to be? :wink:

And welcome back to the world of the living Spaam!

Well.... there's something I have to tell you....

~President DeCáno rips off mask to show zombie face~

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

My players are not going to have to face a team of zombies at any point, are they? Because I really think that wouldn't be fair!

OOC: Does the chocolate cake/Quohog reference mean your citizens love us freindly Quohogers? Or is refering to my nation as Sludge the insult that I'm going to take it to be? :wink:

Dearest Quohog.

You are my little cup cake.

My team and suggestions have been telegrammed to you.

You may do your worst now.

http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/sauer/angry-smiley-019.gif

~pales~

Lemmy's hosting the cup? What happened to Kingsford? And I thought WC6 would've been finished.... :?

OOC: There he is! Kill him!

Dearest Quohog.

You are my little cup cake.

My team and suggestions have been telegrammed to you.

You may do your worst now.

http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/sauer/angry-smiley-019.gif

And let my worst commence. Perhaps my players should have some Potoroo snacks at half-time. That would rile the crowd up a bit! Anyways, off to write the damn thing.

~pales~

Lemmy's hosting the cup? What happened to Kingsford? And I thought WC6 would've been finished.... :?

OOC: There he is! Kill him!

I think that Lem has run out of things to throw, but haven't we stocked up on steel-toe boots? Then Spaam is in a spot of trouble.

Quohog Information Minister Baanes Dosti proclaimed that if smarket of Errinundera was still seeking asylum, Quohog would take him in. "I feel very sorry for this poor man. How many times have we seen people denied their right of ripping others off? Time and time again, yet the international community does nothing about it! Well, we are going to take a stand and accept smarket as a member of our country. We have sent the offer, but I'm not sure if he'll accept due to the slight rivalry between Errinundera football and Quohog football. Especially after that amazing match today! I'm sure that all of you will be tuning in to watch the complete game again after work."

Dear smarket.

As you are well aware, Errinundrians are free to enter and leave the country without restrictions. We only ask that you notify us so that electoral, taxation and welfare records are kept up to date.

We note that you have a taxation debt going back several years and that you have been a significant welfare recipient as well. These anomalies are under investigation but will not prevent your immigration to Quohog.

We do not doubt that the nation of Quohog will provide you with ample scope to use your undoubted entrepreneurial skills and encourage your business ambitions. We would warn you, however, that Quohog has a distressing habit of turning against even its most loyal servants.

We especially urge you to leave your immediate family in Errinundera where they will be safe at all times. The Quohog secret police take a sadistic pleasure in tormenting those out of favour by exterminating their relatives.

If your greed is so rapacious that you would risk not only your own life but also those of your loved ones then we will do nothing to stand in your way.

overseasj

Errinundera's Protector of Foreign Affairs.

PS. Take a guide with you the first time you visit any of their shopping centres.

PPS. Take care not to upset their customs officials upon entering the country.

~pales~

Lemmy's hosting the cup? What happened to Kingsford? And I thought WC6 would've been finished.... :?

OOC: There he is! Kill him!

I think that Lem has run out of things to throw, but haven't we stocked up on steel-toe boots? Then Spaam is in a spot of trouble.

We are producing 1,000 pairs a day. :twisted: Fear us!

My predictions are wrong all bloody wrong...
*Thinks of a reason for this*
Conspiracy!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Lena: Hi! My name is Lena Waters and this is Carlo Farina. Today, we are facing arch-rivals Errinundera. Although these teams are relatively new to each other, they have found that they are well suited to enmity.

Carlo: Numerous incidents have occurred between the two nations since the start of the Cup. Special Correspondent Lillith Card is standing by with more.

Lillith: Thank you Lena and Carlo. When Errinundera came to Quohog for the sixth match of qualifiers, their team was searched at the airport, like all arriving passengers. Player longipesp was carrying a book called “The New Reader in 19th and 20th Century Spanish Anarchism.” The now-famous overzealous customs official named Joe McCarthy threatened this young player and claimed that she was “lucky” that she was a famous international football player. This naturally caused some consternation in the government. You cannot have a customs official assaulting foreign nationals like that, even foreign nationals from the terrorist hotbed known as Errinundera. So, his family up to his third cousin were purged and he was sent off to the Errinunderans for them to do with him what they would. He was promptly granted citizenship and asylum and took the name mccarthyismo. This was taken as an insult by the entire nation, as you might recall. We had handed over this fraud for justice, and they granted him clemency! So, we did the only thing that we could do, we supported an underground movement to have the problem dealt with. Unfortunately, while the problem was being dealt with, a male potoroo was killed.

Carlo: Yes, all this happened between the 6th game of qualifying and the 13th, correct?

Lillith: That’s correct. When hosting the Errinunderans in Quohog, they were a bit shocked at the culture difference. If you remember, we won that game 1-0, casting Errinundera further down the rankings, which they wouldn’t climb back up until the end. Our team visited shortly after McCarthy’s death. A note had been found on the traitor which was believed by officials to be a note from Quohog assassins. After all, McCarthy had threatened to betray the names of our agents working in that country to the authorities. Information Minister Baanes Dosti translated the document, but the Errinunderan government had received another translation from a dissident in Ayesha. This furthered tensions between the two nations. It was at that point that the game was played. I don’t think that a Quohog player has ever had to endure conditions such as that. There was a lightening storm so severe, that the players feared for their lives. The Errinunderans are apparently used to such weather, and managed to beat us 1-0 and hand us our first loss of the qualifiers. This has caused some hard feelings between both countries. However, the last few days leading up to this game have raised tensions to an even higher level.

Lena: I don’t think that any of us have missed the anti-Errinundera activities going on!

Lillith: It certainly would be hard to. A few days ago, and enlightened Errinunderan named smarket was granted asylum for economic reasons. This was a highly publicized case, especially because McCarthy had taken up a new life over there, and no-one had immigrated from their country to ours. smarket and his family arrived just yesterday. There have been, as you stated, numerous anti-Errinunderan activities going on. Potoroos, the national animal of Errinundera, became popular pets here about 50 years ago. In the last few days, there have been massive potoroo hunts and feasts, sights which have been seen in Errinundera. You have to understand that over there, this animal is considered far more important than a person, and we have basically been committing sacrilege before their eyes. A large number of our fans are in Lemmitania to watch the Cup, and there have been numerous fights between Quohog fans and Errinunderans. It must be admitted that most of these have been started by us. We also recently learned that the fans waiting in the stadium have been chanting for hours, “We’ve got smarket and you’ve got squat!” Many fans are also holding banners depicting the roast potoroo dinner, a sight which is sure to inflame the Errinunderan fans. I would say that we have several hundred thousand fans in the country right now, and our rivals probably have an equal number. However this game goes today, I fear that Lemmitania might face riots like those seen after their recent loss, and I shudder to think of what the death toll might be if the two sides go at each other. We are told that there are a record number of police officers at the match, but our government’s offer to supply MP’s to help keep the peace was rejected. I’ll tell you this, the game will certainly be held in a charged atmosphere.

Carlo: Thank you Lillith.

Lillith: My pleasure.

Lena: That was Lillith Card presenting a special report on the state of affairs leading up to the match.

Carlo: Lets hope that none of that will interfere with what should be some good football. The teams have played twice, and both won on their home turf 1-0. Now, they are playing in the semi-finals, and both sides are attempting to take their team to the finals for the first time. The last time we were in this situation, we lost to Europa Brittania 3 – 1.

Lena: I think this game should be closer than that game turned out to be. All differences aside between our two nations, our football teams are very evenly matched. Who should we be watching out for?

Carlo: It must be remembered that Errinundera uses the 3-4-3 lineup as opposed to our 4-4-2 lineup, so that will cause some mismatches. Our defense will really be put to the test, but it will be easier to attack than we are used to… if we can get the ball up there! I would say that the number one player to watch out for would be fionar, the captain, coach, and goalie of the team. One of the best players in the world, not just for her abilities in the net, but for her skill to get the team to do what she wants. The next biggest threat is sandrab. If anything short of fionar stops our strikers, it will be sandrab. It should be fascinating to see who, sandrab or our own Brannick, has a better game on defense. It would be my guess that whoever wins that battle, wins the game. In the midfield, they have handesydec, a great player who is opposite Sita Singh in the midfield, another great battle. Errinundera has a great forward line, when they are all functioning. The first that we should mention is antarcticad. When he is playing well, he is almost unstoppable, but he has long periods where he is disappointing. adealbata is, arguably, the most reliable of their strikers. Very stable, will always be there. Then there is longipesp, she often is there for a big moment, but is not a constant threat. Many of their other players are great, but I would say those are the main threats.

Lena: On our side, sweeper Kurt Adenauer, central defender Claire Brannick, right mid Sita Singh, left mid Gorgidas Nemea, and right striker Martine Masseret have proven to be the greatest threats. It looks like an interesting match. Lets get some cameras on the stadium, things seem like they are about to begin.

Carlo: Listen to that noise! The supporters for both sides are certainly making themselves heard. How about the Lemmitanians with tickets, which side do they seem to be supporting?

Lena: It is interesting, most of them are on our side, both because we are the improbable success story, and because Errinundera is the one who knocked them out of the Cup, but there still seem to be a substantial number of them rooting for Errinundera! Perhaps they feel they have more in common with that country. It seems that the first kick has been made. Quohog starts with the ball, but they promptly have to retreat a bit. Looks like we are going to have a high energy game today!

Carlo: You know, watch the way that Brannick and Singh handle the ball, it is sort of disappointing that they will probably retire directly following this cup, they are such great players.

Lena: They are, but it’s not like the team is going to be without talent. Adenauer and Masseret have already proven to be great players, and the other don’t seem that far behind. Of course, with that turnover, we get a chance to see Errinundera handle the ball for a bit. Oh, nice attempted pass by melanoxylona, but Mysh picked the ball off and possession changes again.

12th minute
Lena: … and a cross from handesydec to adealbata, who scissor kicks it! But it goes out of bounds. That livened things up a bit, there sure was a lot of momentum on that ball.

Carlo: So the ball is pushed up the field once more, things are moving quickly. Now that’s a gutsy move, it seems that Masseret is planning on taking it right at sandrab! She doesn’t get by, but sandrab doesn’t get the ball either. Masseret sends it back to Singh, who sends it all the way back to Timbu.

Lena: For the furious pace to the game, not much has really happened yet.

31st minute
Carlo: …adealbata is running for a through pass, and she gets there before Timbu. Adenauer is angling in to cut off her shot from the goal, she makes a quick move, gets some space, and fires from just outside of the box. And it’s in! adealbata gets the first goal of the game in the upper right portion of the net. There really wasn’t much that Philibert could do to stop that one from going in.

38th minute
Lena: Singh blows past the man marking her. She takes the ball down, does a nice little give and go with Masseret, beats the last defender and blasts the ball into the lower right for the equalizer form Quohog! The score is now one-all.

Halftime 1-1
Carlo: So we have an even score at the half after some superlative play. Singh and Brannick are playing their hearts out, they really want this one!

Lena: We cannot forget the other side, sandrab is having a great game, and adealbata got that goal all on her own. The rest of the team is not producing quite as well now, but that is not to say that they are playing poorly, rather they are playing against a very good team, and are easily holding their own.

Carlo: The fans have been noisy, but I haven’t noticed any incidents yet. But the tension won’t really be there until we come down to the wire.

63rd minute
Lena: handesydec strips the ball from Sawyes and sends it up to antarcticad, but he quickly gets surrounded by Brannick and Adenauer, who isolate him and regain possession. Almost feel sorry for antarcticad, I know that I wouldn’t want to have to get past Brannick and Adenauer to get something done!

77th minute
Lena: …adealbata has the ball, Timbu is really struggling to contain her. If he wasn’t so fast, I would say that it was a lost cause. She manages to get off another shot, but Philibert gets there this time with a diving save.

Carlo: Neither side is seeing much in the way of opportunities. They are playing conservatively, playing a game of possession rather than running the risk of a counter-attack.

Lena: Once again Masseret takes the ball at sandrab, and once again sandrab manages to take it from her. One thing about that match up, it will certainly teach Masseret about dealing with great defenders. She’s managed to win a few of those battles, but just like antarcticad being bottled up by Brannick, Messeret is being stopped by sandrab. I’m surprised that Nallab hasn’t taken more advantage of that, but the other two defenders do seem to be doubling up on him, allowing Masseret and sandrab to go one on one.

86th minute
Carlo: Yet another furious attack stifled before it gets anywhere near the net. I’m beginning to think that this will go down as one of the great defensive battles of the day. The only striker who is having any success is adealbata, but Adenauer is supporting Timbu, so even that isn’t amounting to very much.

End of regulation 1-1
Lena: And we are going into over-time! The players seem tired, but still ready to give it their all.

Carlo: Have you noticed the difference in the fans?

Lena: Yes, things seem to be getting more and more tense as neither side is able to take advantage.

Carlo: First one to score will win, what do you think will happen?

Lena: I’m really not sure, neither side has had any success in the second half mounting much of an attack. To tell the truth, unless someone gets luck, I think that they are going to end up tied at the end of the extra time.

Play ends, score still tied at one-all, the players prepare for the penalty kicks
Lena: It’s all down to kicks. Who would you say was the player of the game?

Carlo: I hate to say it, but I would probably have to go with adealbata, since she was the most potent offensive threat. She’s followed closely by Singh, who kept Quohog in the game.

Lena: That’s interesting. I would have gone with sandrab and Brannick, since their defensive play shut this game down. Although, handesydec and Nemea also had great games. Now, the easy one, who was disappointing?

Carlo: That is easier. antarcticad and Masseret would have to head that list. They were both the star strikers, but neither of them managed to produce much. But on the whole, I wouldn’t say that anyone had a bad game. And a question for you, who do you pick to win on penalties?

Lena: I think that will really depend on one person, Philibert. fionar is a great goalie, and she can stop a couple. The big question is how will Philibert function? He’s played remarkably well, but he is very, very young to be thrust in this situation.

Carlo: Now, for those of you who don’t know, each team will select five players to take their shots, whichever team scores the most in that time period, will win. The players are not allowed to leave the field, and no-one else is allowed to come on.

Lena: Quohog has chosen its five, going with Masseret, Armant, Singh, Gamble, and Sawyes. Now that is an interesting selection, I would have gone with Nemea over Sawyes, but perhaps he isn’t feeling so well. He seems to be hobbling a bit, hope he isn’t injured.

Carlo: Errinundera has chosen their line up, going with adealbata, antarcticad, longipesp, handesydec, and melanoxylona, a good line-up. Both teams have chosen their strikers, and some of their mid-fielders, now it is time to see what happens.

Lena: Quohog is shooting first Singh steps up. fionar is on the line, ready. Singh makes her approach and buries it in the left pocket, catching fionar going in the wrong direction. Very hard to read that wilily veteran. Putting Quohog first, it is 1-0. adealbata readies her shot, and gets an easy one as well as Philibert guesses wrong. It’s now 1-1.

Carlo: Next up, Masseret, and it is 2-1. Then antarcticad, making it two-all. Now up steps Armant, who shoots left… but fionar gets there for a save! Still two all with longipesp readying herself. She shoots, but it is off the post, and the score remains 2-2.

Lena: It is now Gamble’s turn, and he gets one mid-net on the left, it’s 3-2. Followed by melanoxylona, who goes right but so does Philibert who gets a save! Quohog is up 3-2 with a chance to win it. Sawyes shoots, but fionar gets a piece of it and it goes wide. Still 3-2 with handesydec stepping up. He shot, and Philibert guesses the right direction again… but cannot get to the ball. So, the score is tied at 3-3, looks like there is going to be another round of penalties! And remember, you can only use who you have on the field, so I’m guessing that we might see fionar step out of the goal and take her chance shooting.

Carlo: It looks like Quohog is going with Nemea, Brannick, Timbu, Mysh, and Adenauer, not that they had much choice! Errinundera is going with horsrtac, moschatuma, sandrab, fastigatae, and fionar, who picks herself over nitense, who hasn’t really recovered from scoring on his own goal in World Cup 5.

Lena: Nemea leads off, and quickly scores to make it 1-0. This is quickly followed by a goal from sandrab, evening the score. Timbu misses wide, moschatuma scores, Errinundera is up 2-1. Brannick makes it, and so does horsrtac. Errinundera 3-2. Adenauer scores, gastigatae misses, it evens up at 3-3. Mysh steps up, but misses wide! fionar has a chance to win the game right now. She could win the battle of the goalies by getting a goal of her own. She goes left, but Philibert reads her and pulls off a brilliant save! The score is tied 3-3 after the second round of penalties!

Carlo: That will leave the remaining player and the first four from the first round. So Quohog will lead off with Philibert, followed by Masseret, Armant, Singh, and Gamble. Errinundera will have nitense, followed by adealbata, antarcticad, longipesp, and handesydec.

Lena: First up for Quohog is Philibert, who is easily read and stopped by fionar. Up comes nitense who could put Errinundera up, but no he blasts a shot way over the bar! What an awful shot to pull out in a time like this! Now Masseret, who scores, followed by adealbata who also scores. It’s 1-1 and Armant readies himself. He didn’t get the goal last time but… yes! He scores! And that was a shot that his father would be proud to call his own. antarcticad takes his shot and puts it away easily. When he isn’t being stopped by a great defender, that man is very good at his job. The score is now 2-2. Singh takes the next shot and once again has no problem. She is followed by longipesp, who missed the first time. The shot is going left, but it hits the post once again! I hope that she can take this well, after missing two shots off of the post.

Carlo: Quohog is up 3-2, and if Gamble scores again, they have the win. He sends the shot right, but fionar pulls off another great save keeping Errinundera in the game! It all comes down to this, will handesydec be able to make the shot. She readies herself, as does Philibert in goal. She shoots, but Philibert stays where he is! He guessed correctly, she was going down the middle! Philibert makes the save and Quohog wins after three rounds of penalty shots! They entered halftime 1-1, and remained that way throughout the rest of the game. The first two penalty shot rounds end up tied 3-3, but Quohog wins in the third, 3-2. We’re going to the finals!

Lena: And can you hear the crowd? They are going absolutely wild. I don’t think the Errinunderan fans really knew what hit them, they seem rather dejected, although they still have a chance to walk away with the bronze. Their players seem to exhausted to do anything but collapse. Quohog players, however, are running wild! For the first time in our history, we are going to the finals!

Carlo: And some more good news, Information Minister Baanes Dosti informed us that is Quohog won today, we would have the first day off in over ten years! I cannot believe that they did it! We have a shot at the cup!

Lena: I think that we’re going off to celebrate with the other fans, but do not forget to tune in tonight at 11:00, when we will be showing the match with full commentary. I am Lena Waters and this is Carlo Farina, and we are standing in Lemmitania where are team has just won the semi-finals against Errinundera, and could there be a foe whom it is sweeter to beat? I bid you good day.

From the pages of this mornings "Scuttlebutt":

The Minister (that's right, another flippin' minister) of Commercial Communications, Public Communications, and Oreos announced today that Snub Nose 38 is installing an entirely new communications system. For several days, while communications within the country will remain for the most part normal, communication lines to other nations will be disrupted. All will be back on line, much improved, within three days.

This reporter reserves the right to gag on the assumption that communications within the nation will "remain for the most part normal". How can that which has never been normal, remain normal?
----------------------
OOC: taking son # 2 to college this weekend, will be out of the loop until late Monday/early Tuesday.

OOC: I'm sorry I don't understand, were Quohog taking pens in groups of 5?

OOC: I'm sorry I don't understand, were Quohog taking pens in groups of 5?

Yes, apparently, we had rounds of five, as opposed to a group of five, then instant elimination, so I kinda just did the best I could. We got to the third "group of five" before I won.

Remind me to slap Lemmy.

Remind me to slap Lemmy.

With pleasure. Just for the fun of it, or because you object to the way we did the penalty kicks? Cause, you have to admit, it is pretty simple to do it this way. But I think kicking Lemmy is a good idea anyways! I meant slap, but kicking is also fun.

~pales~

Lemmy's hosting the cup? What happened to Kingsford? And I thought WC6 would've been finished.... :?

OOC: There he is! Kill him!

OOC: :oops: I'm sowwy! :cry:


Um, looks like I had better RP a match then.... well, here goes!

Spaam Plays For Third After Pinto Hattrick

Brazillico Striker Pinto has singlehandedly put Spaam into the third place playoff after scoring a magnificent hattrick last night. Until then, Spaam had a perfect record in this World Cup, and had not had a point scored against them in normal time. Feeling fairly confident, they started the match confidently, with star mid-forward Hoopai creating a few early chances, which were all brilliantly deflected by Brazillican Keeper McMario. After that however, Spaam was on the defensive for the rest of the match. Striker Pinto headed the ball in from a De Jesus cross to score the first goal after 20 minutes. Not long after, midfielder Nevvytt and Brazillican defender Cordova were given yellow cards for almost coming to blows after a dubious tackle from Nevvytt. Brazillico kept the pressure on Spaam for the remainder of the half, with Spaam keeping strong until just before half time, when Brazillican striker Quintana and Pinto combined to give Pinto his second for the match. After half time Spaam again launched an insurgence, with Striker Widjaja almost getting past McMario, but that was the last chance Spaam had for the game, with Brazillico dominating to the end. Spaam's defense stood strong until they were broken for the third time by Pinto with a solo effort in the 79th minute, the goal blasting by Keeper Eluch'l. The pressure eased slightly after that, but the damage was done, Brazillico finishing 3 nil winners to progress to the final against Quohog. Spaam will play Errinundera on Tuesday for Third Place. This will be an exciting match, with most of the Spaam players retiring and making way for a new generation. Whether they will see a World Cup in 4 years remains to be seen, with Spaam Football officials negotiating a place in WCVII after the hosting furor.

OOC: Oi Lemmy, give me the results of all the matches before I invade you with my dire spiders in steel toed boots!

Remind me to slap Lemmy.

With pleasure. Just for the fun of it, or because you object to the way we did the penalty kicks? Cause, you have to admit, it is pretty simple to do it this way. But I think kicking Lemmy is a good idea anyways! I meant slap, but kicking is also fun.

What the hell? Penalties are done alternately in groups of 5 per round, aren't they? Seems all right to me.

OOC: Ouch. Ok, I've gone through the archives and it looks like I owe people a big explanation apology.

You know what? I'm just glad you're back. I hope I didn't say anything unkind in any of the interim posts I made.

So... with both matches RPed, is everybody ready for their final/consolation results? I hope you are, 'cause they're coming soon!

Also coming soon... the traditional "best of the cup" awards, to be presented this time around by everybody's favorite riot-incurring men-about-town.

OOC: Oi Lemmy, give me the results of all the matches before I invade you with my dire spiders in steel toed boots!

Some of 'em are at home and some are at work. Can't somebody just troll the threads for them?

Okay, I'm going to try to post the Quarterfinal results. If I get one wrong, please correct me.

Quohog 2 - Arridia 1
Brazillico 2 - Snub Nose 38 1
Halfassedstates 0 - Spaam 0
Spaam wins 3-1 on penalties.
Lemmitania 0 - Errinundera 1

Semifinals:

Quohog 1 - Errinundera 1
Silver goal time: 0 - 0
Penalty phase 1: 3 - 3
Penalty phase 2: 3 - 3
Penalty phase 3: Quoohog 3 - Errinundera 2

Brazillico 3 - Spaam 0


Okay, that should bring everyone up to date.

Penalty phase 1: 3 - 3
Penalty phase 2: 3 - 3
Penalty phase 3: Quoohog 3 - Errinundera 2


What happens is there are 5 pens each, then if the score is tied you go into sudden death 1 pen each. Until England lose.

Penalty phase 1: 3 - 3
Penalty phase 2: 3 - 3
Penalty phase 3: Quoohog 3 - Errinundera 2


What happens is there are 5 pens each, then if the score is tied you go into sudden death 1 pen each. Until England lose.

Well, not this time around. This time they're done in rounds of 5.

Penalty phase 1: 3 - 3
Penalty phase 2: 3 - 3
Penalty phase 3: Quoohog 3 - Errinundera 2


What happens is there are 5 pens each, then if the score is tied you go into sudden death 1 pen each. Until England lose.

Well, not this time around. This time they're done in rounds of 5.

I'm actually fine with the rounds of 5, I was just giving you a hard time. Then England loses.

Lemmitania,

On the rolls you did for the Quohog-Errinundera match, who would have one if it were a sudden-death penalty situation?

On Quohog's own description of the game Errinundera would have won in a sudden death shoot out. After the initial five penalties it was 3-3. After that each team had a successful shot, then Errinundera scored and Quohog missed.

There are RP possibilities here.

Results:

Qualifiers

Q1: Errinundera 4 Hegemonia Polska 1 (oreadest 2, firset, longipesp)
Player of the Tournament: oreadest 3, moschatuma 2, horstrac 1
gk: fionar

Q2: Mezitzia 2 Errinundera 1 (oreadest)
PotT: moschatuma 3, handesydek 2, oreadest 1
gk: regnanse

Q3: Errinundera 2 LordSquall 2 (longipesp, oreadest)
PotT: horstrac 3, moschatuma 2, oreadest 1
gk: fionar

Q4: Liverpool England 1 Errinundera 1 (adealbata)
PotT: sandrab 3, adealbata 2, regnanse 1
gk: regnanse

Q5: Errinundera 1 Total n Utter Insanity 1 (longipesp)
PotT: moschatuma 3, fionar 2, longipesp 1
gk: fionar

Q6: Quohog 1 Errinundera 0
PotT: delegatensise 3, sandrab 2, melanoxylona 1
gk: fionar

Q7: Errinundera 3 Timway 3 (adealbata, handesydek, longipesp)
PotT: handesydek 3, longipesp 2, moschatuma 1
gk: regnanse

Q8: Hegemonia Polska 0 Errinundera 1 (antarcticad)
PotT: fionar 3, delegatensise 2, moschatuma 1
gk: fionar

Q9: Errinundera 3 Mezitzia 1 (antarcticad 2, longipesp)
PotT: sandrab 3, antarcticad 2, longipesp 1
gk: regnanse

Q10: LordSquall 3 Errinundera 1 (antarcticad)
PotT: moschatuma 3, sandrab 2, horstrac 1
gk: fionar

Q11: Errinundera 1 Liverpool England 2 (antarcticad)
PotT: horstrac 3, antarcticad 2, moschatuma 1
gk: regnanse

Q12: Total n Utter Insanity 0 Errinundera 0
PotT: fionar 3, snapier 2, moschatuma 1
gk: fionar

Q13: Errinundera 1 Quohog 0 (antarcticad)
PotT: moschatuma 3, regnanse 2, antarcticad 1
gk: regnanse

Q14: Timway 0 Errinundera 3 (longipesp 2, antarcticad)
PotT: longipesp 3, fionar 2, fastigatae 1
gk: fionar

3rd place qualifers - round robin

QRR1: Errinundera 1 Nevershadow 1 (antarcticad)
PotT: horstrac 3, melanoxylona 2, antarcticad 1
gk: regnanse

QRR2: bye

QRR3: Errinundera 1 Bedistan 0 (longipesp)
PotT: fionar 3, snapier 2, antarcticad 1
gk: fionar

World Cup 6

FR1: Errinundera 1 Halfassedstates 3 (moschatuma)
PotT: moschatuma 3, horstrac 2, snapier 1
gk: regnanse

FR2 Errinundera 4 Akbarland 0 (firset 3 adealbata)
PotT: firset 3, fionar 2, handesydek 1
gk: fionar

FR3: Europa Brittania 1 Errinundera 1 (antarcticad)
PotT: handesydek 3, fionar 2, snapier 1
gk: fionar

SR: Svecia 1 Errinundera 3 (antarcticad 2 longipesp)
PotT: antarcticad 3, nitense 2, moschatuma 1
gk: fionar

QF: Lemmitania 0 Errinundera 1 (antarcticad)
PotT: moschatuma 3, fionar 2, antarcticad 1
gk: fionar

SF: Quohog 1 Errinundera 1 (adealbata)
Penalties: 3-3; 3-3; 3-2
PotT: handesydek 3, sandrab 2, adealbata 1
gk: fionar

PO: Spaam 1 Errinundera 1 (antarcticad)
Extra time: Spaam 1 Errinundera 0
PotT: snapier 3, antarcticad 2, moschatuma 1
gk: fionar

Goals (not including penalty shoot-outs):

antarcticad 13 (5 goals in World Cup games)
longipesp 9 (1)
adealbata 4 (2)
firset 4 (3)
oreadest 4
handesydek 1
moschatuma 1 (1)

Goalkeeping - goals conceded (not including penalty shoot-outs):

fionar 12 goals in 15 matches plus 1 goal in extra time
(Includes 4 games in a row without conceding a goal)
regnanse 13 goals in 8 matches

Player of the tournament:

http://images.google.com.au/images?q=tbn:gm10WKZQ2rcC:www.essendonfc.com.au/images/02/coe1.jpg

Moschatuma receives the leighm medal from the Errinundera Football Association's convenor, mountd

moschatuma 28 (8 votes in World Cup games )
fionar 19 (6)
antarcticad 13 (6)
horstrac 13 (2)
handesydek 12 (7)
sandrab 12 (2)
snapier 9 (5)
longipesp 7
delegatensise 5
oreadest 5
adealbata 3 (1)
firset 3 (3)
melanoxylona 3
regnanse 3
nitense 2 (2)
fastigatae 1

Lemmitania,

On the rolls you did for the Quohog-Errinundera match, who would have one if it were a sudden-death penalty situation?

On Quohog's own description of the game Errinundera would have won in a sudden death shoot out. After the initial five penalties it was 3-3. After that each team had a successful shot, then Errinundera scored and Quohog missed.

There are RP possibilities here.

Yes, but I was making that up knowing that we were doing it based off rounds of 5, so I wouldn't read that much into it. We could always change the rules later, but I think this way works reasonably well. Of course, anything to make a nice rivalry (Quohog stole the last cup from us, etc.) would be fine.

Lemmitania,

On the rolls you did for the Quohog-Errinundera match, who would have one if it were a sudden-death penalty situation?

On Quohog's own description of the game Errinundera would have won in a sudden death shoot out. After the initial five penalties it was 3-3. After that each team had a successful shot, then Errinundera scored and Quohog missed.

There are RP possibilities here.

Interesting question. Unfortunately, semi results are on the home computer. I'll check this evening and let you know.

By-the-by... who's hosting WC7??

By-the-by... who's hosting WC7??
You... :cry:

By-the-by... who's hosting WC7??
You... :cry:

I think it's on the WC7 thread, somewhere, but I would try to beat an answer out of TnUI.

Lemmitania throws caution, FIFA to the winds
Lemmington, Lemmitania

In a stunning announcement, Lemmintanian Dean of sports Gil Lemson today announced, "Wot the 'ell are you askin' me about penalty-round rules for? You think I'm some sort of FIFA bigwig or something? Lemmitania ain't even in FIFA. Go ask Gilmeecia."

The International Community, thrown into an uproar over improprieties in the manner in which penalty rounds have been played during World Cup 6, has been demanding justice-- perhaps even blood-- from the Lemmitanian government. Unfortuantely, the Lemmitanian government is not involved in sporting events, and so it fell to the Dean of sports to make a ruling.

Gilmeecian Foreign minister Ned Itchlesby,, approached by the International Community on Mr. Lemson's recommendation, had this to say: "Huh? What's this about a penalty, now? I think we've been making all our payments on time, but I'll check with Lou and get back to you." Following this statement, the Foreign minister's office adopted a policy of not answering the telephones.

By-the-by... who's hosting WC7??
You... :cry:

I think it's on the WC7 thread, somewhere, but I would try to beat an answer out of TnUI.

This is from page 1 of the WC7 thread:

Hosts

Lemmitania & Audioslavia

Just hopeful there's not going to be another NYC blackout or a delay of scores or maybe... :lol: hey, who knows what might happen?

Quohog information minister Baanes Dosti had this to say about the "controversy": "we won fairly. If those Errinunderan whiners have a problem with that, there is always next cup. Anyways, my nation is looking forward to the finals match tonight, and we don't have time to worry about rules and such. Since the cup hasn't been following specific FIFA rules and the host is allowed a very wide leeway in determining how to run things, we think that the penalty rounds were fine. If the next host wants to do things FIFA style, that is their perogative. I mean, look at the round-robin at the end of qualifiers, that wasn't FIFA style, but we did it anyways. I think that the fact that this matter is still being talked about is ridiculous, but then again, we did win that game because of it..."

You hear that, Lemmy old boy? We've got you running another Cup! You'll never be free! Victory is ours, and yes, this time all of us were in on it.

Okay, I've just TGed Aud to get our brains in gear for 7. I think it'll be the best ever since WC6

O well better get my bid ready for
Belmore 8
P.S. can anyone post the link to the signs ups whenit comes up(Better safe than sorry)

P.S. can anyone post the link to the signs ups whenit comes up(Better safe than sorry)

I'll probably start it soon.

By-the-by... who's hosting WC7??
You... :cry:

I think it's on the WC7 thread, somewhere, but I would try to beat an answer out of TnUI.

Ariddia announced it a while back. Potential hosts: always read every word posted by Ariddia!

I thought my giant writing gave it away too. Did I miss the Spaam result?

EDIT: Ah yes 2-1 AET.

okay - so what actually happened then?

Who won, who got in the team of the tournament team, whats the final seedings??

I would just like to know before WC7 actually starts.
Cheers :D

okay - so what actually happened then?

Who won, who got in the team of the tournament team, whats the final seedings??

I would just like to know before WC7 actually starts.
Cheers :D

yes, i agree. most of the scores were all over the place. could anyone re-post the scores on one post from the SF onwards?

News item from the McKillops Bridge New Statesman

http://www.newstatesman.com/graphics/ns/images/head_logo.gif

ERRINUNDERA BOWS OUT PROUDLY

http://www.fhy.net/Special/Olympic/o018.jpg

handesydek (right) in action during the match against Spaam.

Errinundera's marvellous World Cup 6 campaign finally concluded after another epic match, this time against Spaam. Like the previous game against Quohog the scores were tied at one all at the final whistle. Unlike that match, a penalty shoot-out was not required. Spaam kicked an early goal in extra time and thereafter completely shut our national side out. antarcticad kicked Errinundera's only goal seconds into the second half to give fans a sniff of victory, however an equalizer was scored in the 70th minute thus forcing the extra time.

Champion goalie and team coach, fionar, said that the team were thrilled to finish in fourth place. "We went all the way to the semi-finals and we did ourselves proud. We refused to go down easily and pushed Quohog to a marathon penalty shoot-out. If FIFA rules had applied, we may well have gone on to be world champions. Let's face it, Quohog have been a power since the year dot. We can now look them in the eye and keep them honest, which is not something you'd normally expect from them. Now we've pushed Spaam into extra time. Eight years ago, when nobody played football in Errinundera, Spaam could justifiably have laughed at the thought of playing us. Not now. Other teams must take us very seriously."

That amazing striker with the glowing hair, antarcticad, takes it all in his stride. "Playing in World Cup finals games is like nothing else on earth. It gives you a buzz. It is the best feeling I've ever had. Every moment of those matches was just hooterific. Some players seem to get quite tense in their preparation. I don't understand that at all. I see this as my chance to have a ball." This is not idle speech. antarcticad was his usual explosive self against Spaam and, in addition to his driving goal, hit the cross bar three times. "Not bad, eh?" was his phlegmatic response. "I got a cross bar hat trick!" Overall, he scored 5 World Cup goals (excluding penalty shoot-outs) and 8 others during qualifying - remember, he missed 7 games early in qualifying due to the depa scandal.

Errinundera's best player for the Cup and during qualifying was elegant midfielder, moschatuma. He streeted the rest of the team for the leighm medal for best player. At the award ceremony after the match he gave praise to the WC6 coach, fionar. "After the debacle against Halfassedstates, she really kicked our arses. And it was what we badly needed. From that point on we played our hearts out. We didn't have a bad match after that." He also remembered WC5 coach, filthyl: "Sure, fionar led us into the top 4 in the world, but it was filthyl who moved mountains to get football established in Errinundera. It was filthyl who built the foundations that fionar has so brilliantly built upon. I have been so lucky to have such magnificent mentors."

Surprise package in the finals was the snappy woman about town, snapier. Her best on field performance against Spaam is a promising sign that we have a talented replacement for the slowing sandrab who has indicated that she will not be contesting WC7. snapier is looking forward to filling the master's shoes. "sandrab has been a hero of mine for years. Since the start of the cup she has taken me under her wing and taught me so much. If I can be half the player she has been I will be proud of my achievements." Like antarcticad she revelled in the charged atmosphere of the finals. "The pressure goes up in the finals matches like you wouldn't believe. The opposing sides are so focussed and so desperate. Mind you, so would I if I had to go back to Quohog. But I love the pressure. It's as if I'm powered by rocket fuel. I want to be back for WC7." Her mentor, WC5 leighm medallist sandrab, is just as enthusiastic for her. "snapier is going to be a champion, no doubt about that."

The normally irascible commentator, spouth, has also been caught up in the enthusiasm. "This is a young side with an exciting future. With fionar at the helm as coach, players such as snapier, longipesp, antarcticad, adealbata, firset and melanoxylona will be the core of a strong side. Oddly enough, despite our reputation as a defensive side, it is in defence that we may have the most problems in the future. fionar won't be playing in the next cup and there is no-one of her stature to take her place. sandrab and handesydek are also retiring. They will be extremely difficult to replace."

Once again we give the final word to princec, the team gopher. We asked him, why on earth, he has been wearing an imitation fox-fur hat all the way through the World Cup? "Well, I like to wear a hat at all times and wasn't sure what would be appropriate for Lemmitania. At the start of the campaign I telephoned mumsi for advice. Se asked me where I was so I said, of course, Lemmitania. She replied, 'Wear the fox hat.' So I did."

http://www.hankerin.com/jan00/images/tifmia.jpg

horstrac laughs as sandrab stirs up Quohog in the semi-final

Mau Slurp's odds on WC6:

Brazillico 5-4
Quohog 3-2
The little demons of Limbo, odds-on favourite at 1-4

Lena: Welcome to the World Cup 6 Finals Game. I am Lena Waters and this is Carlo Farina. Today, Quohog will be facing Brazillico. This is a team which has been at the top of the world for a number of years, what do you think Quohog's chances are?

Carlo: Not that bad. You really cannot look at how a team has done or what they are ranked, you have to look at how they are playing. And right now, Quohog is playing great. That isn't to say that Brazillico is playing poorly, just that it should be a great match. However, Brazillico beat up on Spaam in the semi-finals, while Quohog endured a grueling match which went to a third round of penalty kicks, so the exhaustion factor could be setting in.

Lena: That's for sure. Brazillico were also automatically qualified. So while Quohog has had to battle its way through a number of higher ranked teams, Brazillico has just waltzed into this cup. Since that hasn't seemed to lower their level of play, their relative freshness will prove to be an advantage.

Carlo: It might, but this is a very hungry Quohog team which wants the Cup. Including Qualifying, Quohog has now won 18 out of 20 games, the only two losses coming to TnUI and Errinundera after Quohog was already assured of the best record in Qualifying. That is quite a run, however you view it. I would say that if the team still has juice in them, this will be a very close game.

Lena: Both sides are taking their places, and I'm going to ask, who do you think will win?

Carlo: I really am not sure on this one. It is Brazillico's last cup, at least for the moment, so they will have motivation to go out with a bang. However, it is also the last cup as players for Claire Brannick and Sita Singh, and they will want to leave with a victory as well. There is also the fact that the teams are playing in the World Cup Finals, and whoever doesn't want that is off their rocker.

Lena: I'm also unsure. However, our questions will be answered in the near future, as the play begins!

25th minute
Lena: ... and a nice pass from Torres to Suarez there, this team is really pushing Quohog! Suarez takes it up the side, but then passes back to Joao. Quohog is pressing, looks like they managed to steal the ball!

Carlo: ... but Brazillico managed to get it back, and De Jesus gets the ball. He sends a long ball up the field, and Pinto gets his head on it and redirects it into the back of the net!

Lena: The teams had been playing fairly evenly at first, but in the last five minutes or so, Brazillico really turned it on and managed to connect. They lead 1-0.

34th minute
Carlo: Nice stop by Brannick there, and she sends the ball up to Singh. Singh crosses to Nemea, who gets the ball up to Nallab. Nallab takes it to the corner and crosses. Masseret gets a head on it, but McMario is able to make a diving save. Brazillico is trying to clear it, but the ball doesn't go very far and Singh collects it. She takes it around a defender and fires from the top of the box. It is in! Singh has evened the score!

Lena: What a great shot. She has really come into her own as a threat with that shot of hers in this Cup. While she could always pass and is great at running the defense, that shot is a marked improvement compared to her game in past years.

Halftime
Lena: The score is tied one-all at half. So far, the teams have played very evenly. Brazillico is very well known for their defense, but Quohog's potent offense has managed to get one in.

Carlo: Anything could happen. I think that Quohog wants to see more out of Nallab and Masseret. Singh has scored the only goal in this game so far, and in the semi-finals match against Errinundera. While the two strikers have been having a great cup, it would really help the team if they managed to score against one of the best defenses in the world. If they got that goal, I think Quohog could hold on and win this game!

Lena: The same holds true for Brazillico. Although a goal will by no means insure victory, both teams are probably skilled enough to hold onto such a lead until end of the game.

48th minute
Lena: ... and the sub Salazar(7) is having as many problems as Quintana (14), the man he replaced! After his early goal, Pinto has been shut down as well. If Brazillico wants to win this game, their strikers need to be more effective.

Carlo: Quohog has a definate advantage in that department, but it seems that nothing is going in for them! McMario is having one of the best games of his life.

77th minute
Lena: Another save by McMario, but at least it wasn't a diving one like last time! He sends the ball up to Sorin, to Joao, to Pinto. Heading down to the corner, attempts a cross, but Timbu knocks it out. Brazillico is going to get a corner kick.

Carlo: Seems that they are going to have De Jesus take the kick. The players take their spots and the ball is in the air! Timbu gets there first and heads it out, but Cordova collects and sends it up to Torres who fires! It bounces off a couple of players, and out the side. Joao is there to take another shot, but Philibert is there to get a hand on it, and it goes off the post. Mysh tries to clear, but Cordova is there to fire again from about 35 yards out. The ball doesn't make it through, but Suarez gathers it and makes a shot from inside of the box! And it goes in. Brazillico now lead 2-1.

Lena: There is still 15 minutes or so left with penalty time, Quohog still has a very good shot at an equalizer.

86th minute
Lena: ... and Brazillico manage to repel the attack once again. This will go down as one of the great defensive stands. I think that they have gotten the ball out of their end three time in the last ten minutes, but they manage on keeping Quohog from scoring.

Carlo: It was an interesting move replacing the strikers Pinto and Salazar with Lawson and Roberto, two defenders, but it appears to be paying off. Quohog will continue to try though. I cannot imagine how Brazillico has withstood this barrage for so long!

Final Brazillico 2-1 Quohog
Lena: What a game! Quohog doesn't manage to get the equalizer, and Brazillico end up winning another cup.

Carlo: Sort of disappointing that they will not be there for 7, like to see if they would manage to keep it once again, or if this Quohog team would manage to go all the way.

Lena: Quohog Information Minister Baanes Dosti is here to say a few comments about this World Cup, Minister...

Dosti: Thank you. My fellow residents of Quohog. Today was the culmination of an amazing run. When the qualifiers began, many thought that Quohog might not even make it to the Cup. With TnUI and Errinundera in the same group, things looked grim. Our team not only managed to qualify, but they managed to show-up TnUI! After a string of 12 straight victories, the team lost to the other ranked teams in the group. However, they still managed the best record in qualifiers, and we were all excited about the Cup. When we were drawn into the same group as Squornshelous and Oglethorpia, once again this team was doubted. Those doubts were laid to rest when once again, they managed to beat the two higher-ranked teams and win the group. Then the team marched through a series of opponents, culminating with our rivals from the qualifiers, Errinundera. There, in a game that will go down in Cup history, hopefully in a positive way as opposed to a controversy. The teams both had a goal at the end of the first half, and continued with a tied score all the way until the end of the THIRD round of penalty kicks, when Quohog emerged victorious. While we may have lost the game today, this Cup has been a victory for our football program. I ask all young people to look towards this team, and work towards a similar lofty goal. Thank you for watching and supporting this team, and I know that we all look forward to WC7.


OOC: Sorry it took me so long to write this, but I've been in the process of moving, so things have been hectic. Brazillico managed to win another Cup with a 2-1 victory over us. Ah well, here's hoping about next time.

OOC: Shame I'd have liked Quohog to win it.

IC: Haha you lost :P

News item from The First Creek Falls Age.

http://www.theage.com.au/images/mast1.gif

WC6 CELEBRATIONS GET OUT OF HAND

http://nuketesting.enviroweb.org/hew/Usa/Tests/Rwmohawk2.jpg

OOC: Shame I'd have liked Quohog to win it.

IC: Haha you lost :P

Must taunt TnUI for every loss from now on...

Congratulations to Brazillico.

Unlucky Quohog, - though with Braz not in WC7 you're top dog!!!

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