NationStates Jolt Archive

Ribbot Technologies is proud to present the latest and greatest achievement in technological naming... the Goliath.

The Goliath
http://www.prewarcar.com/editor/images/car_wreck_250.jpg

Specs:
Height: 2-4 feet
Length: 7 feet
Width: 5 feet
Weight: 1,234 lbs.
Top Speed: 1 mph when pushed (faster downhill)
Engine: Collapsed on itself
Weapons: A few shards of twisted glass and metal, inflammable fuel tank
Armor: 5 mm forged aluminum, glass in some areas (armor varies from point to point on the vehicle)
Name: Totally bitchin'
Cost: Five (5) pudding ounces ($5 US equivalent)

Please place your orders today!

We'll take 2 billion. We will proudly tote the Goliath as the main battle tank of Oglethorpia.

Ribbot Technologies is in the process of driving 1 billion junkers into 1 billion other junkers in order to fill this massive order.

Oglethorpia wishes for you to hault in this callous destruction of junkers.

While you pause production of the Goliaths, we will send over a delegation of easily-amused Oglethorpians to supervise.

Wow this is better value than the crap on TSC. Can I buy 30 to see them crash?

O.O.C. is that your real car bill?

Wow this is better value than the crap on TSC. Can I buy 30 to see them crash?

O.O.C. is that your real car bill?

You're welcome to come down to Ribbot Technologies' SLAGLandic Mainland Factory and witness the carnage.

(OOC: Naw, my real car's a brand new Cavalier. I just wanted the opportunity to make fun of all of the ridiculous vehicle/weapon threads we've got around here. I'm still waiting for someone to call me out on specs, though...)

When my delegation of easily-amused citizens arrives, please disregard their unhuman-like amount of glee they will undoubtedly express.

Is the height variable because it was a convertible? Or just because the height may vary?

P.S.: What does it look like from the side?

~
Bjorn Hjortsping, Assistant-Director, Arms Acquisition Committee

Is the height variable because it was a convertible? Or just because the height may vary?

The height is variable because parts of it are caved in. The surface is a bit... shall we say... covered with humps.

You interested in purchasing?

Not really, no.

~
Bjorn Hjortsping, Assistant-Director, Arms Acquisition Committee

Bump for business. :D

Will it go faster if more people push?

Will it go faster if more people push?

It won't move it all if there isn't at least one person pushing... but yes, it will.

you should team up with Dyelli Beybi automotive, world leaders in the production of velorex knock-offs, and yes, they are a cheap and poorer quality copy.

Will it go faster if more people push?

i say, from a humble inexperienced view point, that it will go faster being hauled by a tow truck!

Does the cigarette lighter still work? That would double its armanents...

Does the cigarette lighter still work? That would double its armanents...

The lighter has lodged itself into the passenger seat in most models. In other words... it doesn't come standard.

GODMOD!

Ahem... heh...

There is NO way that your economy could afford to produce this smashed car. I mean, look at your GDP!

--Shodey

I stopped feeding my citizens; that's how I justify such expensive weaponry. So :P.

---Post deleted by NationStates Moderators---

There's no way you can afford to buy that smashed car, Zioduh. I mean, look at your GDP calculations on this here Excel spreadsheet!

--Shodey

---Post deleted by NationStates Moderators---

-A few dwarves pore over the transmission on international channels-

"About a thousand pounds of scrap metal for $5?"

"I'll be buggered with Durin's axe!"

"Not to mention the fuel tanks might have some fuel left."

"And I daresay we could salvage functional parts. Humans never seem to be able to find all of them."

"Aye. We've got to tell the Council!"

Minutes later, a missive is hastily prepared.

To the esteemed leadership of the Slaglands,

Greetings. We would like to purchase a million of these awesome Goliaths. We have no doubt that these fearsome machines will make a fine addition to our nascent armies.

Sincerely,
High Councillor for Trade Durgan Khaza

Sure is odd to see the way a car looks after it's BUMPED into another car, eh?

BUY THE GOLIATH!

Ribbot Technologies is proud to present the latest and greatest achievement in technological naming... the Goliath....

Weapons: ...inflammable fuel tank


Actually, gasoline has a very narrow flammable range of about 0.8 to 6% gasoline vapor in air. In other words, the vapor-air mixture must be exactly as specified or the gas will not burn, let alone explode! Note that we say vapor. Liquid gasoline must change into vapor before it can burn (although this is no huge problem since it easily vaporizes).

For a car to explode during impact the tank must catastrophically rupture and spew a fine mist of gasoline over a large area so it can vaporize and mix with air in exactly the right proportions. The mixture must then find a source of ignition. Automobile gas tanks are built to withstand a considerable impact force and are usually located in a protected area between the beams of a car's frame. Common ignition sources in the car's engine are generally at the other end of the vehicle.

As portrayed in movies, gasoline tanks are fragile and gasoline so volatile that the vaporizing and mixing process occurs in milliseconds. It always results in an explosive mixture which always finds a source of ignition. Thank heavens it's not so easy or people would regularly be blowing themselves up while refueling at the pump.

Even when a wrecked car catches on fire it rarely explodes. A gas tank can explode if it contains an explosive mixture and there's an opening for the flames to enter. More likely, fire would have to impinge on the outside of the gas tank, vaporizing the gasoline in the tank and eventually causing it to overpressure and explode. However, if the vapors escaped fast enough the tank would not rupture. Most fires start in the engine compartment and will not spread backwards to the gas tank area unless the tank is leaking fuel on the ground. Again a whole series of events has to be just right for an explosion to occur.

If you are going to roleplay please at least make sure the basic physics behind your idea are correct.



:lol:

OOC: Isn't asking $5 for a ton and half of scrap metal sort of a good deal?

Wow... did I ever not notice how Skepticism questioned my physics or what?

Hey buddy! Guess what?

THIS.
IS.
A.
JOKE.
POST.
THAT.
HAS.
BEEN.
BUMPED.
FOR.
THE.
LAST.
TIME.

WOW, that skepticism sure is annoying......

I want my Goliath custom built....errr....smashed.... :P

WOW, that skepticism sure is annoying......

I want my Goliath custom built....errr....smashed.... :P

When I am king, Skepticism will be outlawed.

In addition, all I said was that the fuel tank was inflammable. I said nothing about temperature range of combustion.

And another thing... if he's so damn smart, why doesn't he know that the proper term is "inflammable," not "flammable?" :roll:

Oh, right...

...slamming two heaps of steel together as we speak. ^_^

LOL - really funny. Typical example of SLAGlandic humour. We are already subscribed to Wombat news, but you could really start your own paper. :roll:

"IC"
We wish to buy only one of these tanks
"secret IC" because then we can dissasemble it and steal the blueprints and make it very cheap hahahahahaha

WOW, that skepticism sure is annoying......

I want my Goliath custom built....errr....smashed.... :P

When I am king, Skepticism will be outlawed.

In addition, all I said was that the fuel tank was inflammable. I said nothing about temperature range of combustion.

And another thing... if he's so damn smart, why doesn't he know that the proper term is "inflammable," not "flammable?" :roll:

Oh, right...

...slamming two heaps of steel together as we speak. ^_^

In the future, I will remember that a single "lol" smiley face is not sufficient to make people understand that I am joking. I figured in insane sarcasm and joking tone would do it. Sorry for the confusion:

I.
KNOW.
IT.
IS.
A.
JOKE.
UNFORTUNATELY.
I.
UNDERESTIMATED.
YOUr.
ABILITY.
TO.
DISCERN.
WHAT.
IS.
AND.
ISN'T.
A.
JOKE.
DESPITE.
MULTIPLE.
CLUES.
AND.
COMMON.
SENSE.
IN.
THE.
FUTURE.
I.
WILL.
CLEARLY.
MARK.
THINGS.
MEANT.
AS.
JOKES.
WITH.
SOME.
OBVIOUS.
MARKER.
SO.
THAT.
PEOPLE.
WHO.
DO.
NOT.
RECOGNIZE.
SARCASM.
FOR.
SOME.
REASON.
CAN.
ATTEMPT.
TO.
APPRECIATE.
THE.
HUMOR.

I seriously have trouble believing anyone would take that seriously. Really. I am so heartfeltly sorry for any confusion resulting from people who have never met anyone with a dry sense of humor before in their lives. Also, something can be both "inflammable" or "flammable." They are interchangable. Just like "valuable" and "invaluable."

Likewise, SLAGLands' economy could be described as either "up the creek" or "down the creek". :D

Sorry, Skeppy; it was your last comment in the post that threw me. It's just soooooo... condescending. ;)

Oh, look... bump.

Whoa, this post is still around?

I guess we should put those Goliath's to use, eh?

Goldberry is interested in purchasing Jesus...IN A FREAKIN TANK! Is this possible, Mr SLAGLands, sir?

-Tom

Goldberry is interested in purchasing Jesus...IN A FREAKIN TANK! Is this possible, Mr SLAGLands, sir?

-Tom

I think it's safe to presume that Jesus outranks you. :)

I think it's safe to presume that Jesus outranks you. :)

OOC:

Rather depends on your take on who Tom is, really. ;)

Hmmm, Can the height be modifed by taking a sledge-hammer to the roof or is heavier equipement required?

Also, we take it that maintenance costs are low thanks to the "minimum-reliability" feature.

I want another one!

Leave it to SLAG...