NationStates Jolt Archive

World Entertainment News Tonight (WENT)-

Recently an anonymous cameraman has uploaded footage of Lady Sirithil nos Feanor and the Dark Lord Melkor having a picnic, playing frisbee, and generally having a good time together... at this nude beach in sunny Southern California!

*Roll somewhat blurry digital movie of Sirithil walking on a beach naked, side-by-side a corporeal manifestation of dark power*

Rumours that the two leaders are having an affair are somewhat inconsistent, but it is likely that they have been dating for a while. This has raised further questions as to the fate of their two peoples.

Eulalia turns off the television. What terrible news they have on earth these days. Celebrity rumour shows were said to give a glimpse of earth politics and culture, and after thirty minutes, Eulalia simply had enough. She left the room and began preparing her dinner.

no shit.....and they didn't invite me

In cyberspace, S.H.O.D.A.N. merely shakes her head.

"Foolish organics... no wonder I wanted to turn them all into gibbering mutants at one time... well, looks like 'culture' did it for me."

Trias: Why is it okay that we laugh at propoganda about our enemies, but we are disgusted by propoganda abour our allies?

Argath: Don't think. It doesn't suit you.

Trias: Argath?

Argath: Hm?

Trias: Shut up.

Semi- OOC: i wonder how old Lady Sirithil nos Feanor is... There`s nothing more disgusting than porn videos with 66- years old women T_T

Err... close as I can guess it, about 31,000 years old or more.

Really? That much? I make it about 10,000, certainly not more than 15,000.

Really? That much? I make it about 10,000, certainly not more than 15,000.

Well it will depend on what elven model you are useing if you use Tolkein elfs well... she could be hundreds of thousands of years old

Yes, but if you take that one of Tolkien's ages would last around 3000 yrs, and that we are currently in the 4th Age...

The First Age is really a lot longer and more complex, what with the early Ages of the Stars or whatever they were called.







zoom. pan right. back to frame 1220... 1225... 1223. enhance using all other frames for data.







you're a dirty old woman. and it's likely a high-quality fake. good art.







thanks for the observation, senkei. now shut up, back to frame 775 or so and check those back muscles.







i never felt more comfortable with eschewing a proper simulation of panhuman sexuality.







it's not supposed to be comfortable. now shut up and...







print it for your locker-room door?







...yes.

[ :shock: ]

This report, obviously, is a complete fabrication. It should be noted that Melkor has not left his subterranean lair in Angband since a few months ago, when he had to attend to the 'situation' with the elven refugees in Kalessin.

For the safety of all concerned, Melkor remains unaware of this broadcast, and we will strive to keep it that way.

I am sure Melkor has better taste in women than that...

[OOC [for the love of god, OOC]: Come on, if I learned one thing from the Lord of the Rings movies it's this: Elvish chicks stay hot forever! woo hoo!]

Tahar Joblissan government officials deny knowledge of how what appears to be a higher resolution film shot from a slightly different angle of the same scene has come to be played on some of Tahar Joblis's community televisions late at night.

However, for a small charge, we will release the improved video to nations willing to aid us in investigating the origin of this second film, which shows-

(pause)

OK, I'm not cleared to mention it in this speech.

Lady Siri is a lesbian, anyways. She's with that elf chick from Yggidrasil; what's her name, ohh... Iliendel. That's it.

~Holy Emperor Vladimir

[ :shock: ]

This report, obviously, is a complete fabrication. It should be noted that Melkor has not left his subterranean lair in Angband since a few months ago, when he had to attend to the 'situation' with the elven refugees in Kalessin.

For the safety of all concerned, Melkor remains unaware of this broadcast, and we will strive to keep it that way.

Dangblast it. No actual Melkor in Speedos. Someone will pay. :evil:

Well, of course it's a fake.

The popular show 'Gossip Column,' formerly affiliated with Lavenrunz and now operating out of Ravenspire channel 57, R-KNP, broadcast the real story about Siri's latest love weeks ago. With proof to back it up. This isn't even in the right ballpark.

No, I'm not going to tell you who. [size=-5:ff2112a520]Unless maybe you ask nicely.[/size:ff2112a520]

Sakura Kitsuki
Foxgirl Representative (vacation)

Damn it, Vlad. Go ahead, ruin my fun, why don't you.

Sheesh, it's almost like we're still having an affair. :P

Sakura Kitsuki
Foxgirl Representative (vacation)

It's your own fault, infidel. 8)

~Holy Emperor Vladimir

Dangblast it. No actual Melkor in Speedos. Someone will pay. :evil:

Sorry man... don't get your hopes up too high, now.

LOL :D April Fools, no doubt... er... I hope...

Lady Siri is a lesbian, anyways. She's with that elf chick from Yggidrasil; what's her name, ohh... Iliendel. That's it.

~Holy Emperor Vladimir

FM Embersby would like to enquire if anyone has pictures of that, for 'intelligence purposes.' She's like that, I'm afraid.

-Rachel Knight, External Affairs, GMC Military Arms.

The Copiosa Scotian Department of Health and Education has released this statement:

"F###ing WENT."

{Public Diplomatic Transmission}
x Lord Lewis Alton (Lord Speaker, State)
o Lady Sirithil nos Feanor, Melkor

I realise this isn't true, although we wish that you two would get along a little better.


{Public Diplomatic Transmission}
x Lord Lewis Alton (Lord Speaker, State)
o IC, Amergio

You my heartfelt sympathies for having to put up with this rumor. Unless its true, of course, in which case congratulations might be in order.

[OOC: What's next, Siri and Melkor getting together?]

[Please don't kill me]

{Public Diplomatic Transmission}
x Lord Lewis Alton (Lord Speaker, State)
o Lady Sirithil nos Feanor, Melkor

I realise this isn't true, although we wish that you two would get along a little better.


{Public Diplomatic Transmission}
x Lord Lewis Alton (Lord Speaker, State)
o IC, Amergio

You my heartfelt sympathies for having to put up with this rumor. Unless its true, of course, in which case congratulations might be in order.

[OOC: What's next, Siri and Melkor getting together?]

[Please don't kill me]

Voyeur sats above the noted location got a good shot of the accused. While someone that looks suprisingly like Lady Siri was there, the sats did not detect the characteristic Melkor energy Signature. Therefore this must be a hoax.

Sensor Operator Per V. Ert
Fleet Heavy Carrier Titanus

OOC:They arent called voyeur sats for nothin!

Lady Siri is a lesbian, anyways. She's with that elf chick from Yggidrasil; what's her name, ohh... Iliendel. That's it.

~Holy Emperor Vladimir

Upon hearing of this, Overlord Brad of Wretchengard immediately ordered a crack team of investigators assembled to determine the truth of these allegations and, if possible, find photographic evidence...for strategic intelligence purposes, of course... :wink:

[OOC: What's next, Siri and Melkor getting together?]

[heh.. Vala aren't quite given to close personal relaionships with anyone. So I guess the most you could hope for would be Alkanphel.

Bookies in Relics Point have that running on 315,562,271:1 however]

[yer damn straight they do. But you know theres gotta be one bastard down there with a dollar on it, trying to turn it into $315 million

hell I bet hes the one who made the tape :lol: ]

Lost Vegas,
being home to many a celb, IMAX theaters, magic shows and card tricksters has analyized the film. Photographic experts at the University of New Monaco as well as the Universitynof O'Malley at Tell, as well as forensic experts from three major urban Police Departmants as well as the Office of Criminal Investigations reveal:

The young woman is a fugitive from justice from the Nation of Private Dancers. She has been indicted there under the High Priced Escort Act (practiceing as an Escort without a Medical check up).

The "Dark Force" is a drunk colege kid wereing a dark green trashbag and a black one size to small Speedo along with the cup from a "Little League" brand jock strap. A tattoo on his left buttocks says

"LUV MUFFIN"

and on his right side says

"I'm your sex poodle"

This identifies him as an Alpha Chi Rho freshman frat plegde from the Greator Lost Vegas University Hughes Campus.

We believe this film was made by a Theater Arts/ Political Science Interdisciplinary Class "Comedy as Social Comentary" at the previous mentioned school. The topic being, the willingness to humiliate oneself as well as another in order to belong. The freshman frat pledge wore self insulting tattos and attempted to frame a popular figure in Lost Vegas to belong to a bunch of drunk ruffians on an elite scholastic campus.

Campus security recently had a report of a theft of a copy of the tape.

OOC:

Semi- OOC: i wonder how old Lady Sirithil nos Feanor is... There`s nothing more disgusting than porn videos with 66- years old women T_T

Sethra Lavode's (in Steven Brust's Dragaera books) is something like 250,000 years old and I (probably wrongly) keep seeing her as looking a lot like Darth Willow... :drool: So what's the problem with a spring chicken like Siri?

...Tolkein...

:tantrum:

...The popular show 'Gossip Column,' formerly affiliated with Lavenrunz...

Goes to demonstrate the sanity-blasting effect of these threads that I read that as "Gossip Gollum"

"Yes, Precious, we saw it caressing the elf... THE LIGHT! IT BURNS! THE FILTHY INTERNS! ALWAYS THEY BURNS US WITH THE STUDIO LIGHTS!"

Hot Elf Chicks!

Courtesy of the Polynesian Security Office!

Exclusive of Lady Siri and...

uh...

<_<
>_>

Inquire privately.

*disconnects from the Menelmacari security camera network*

OOC: I've created a monster. It lives! It lives! :shock:

Wazzu Cheif Board Member Joeseph Meger turns off the television by remote. Gahd! he thinks, the tabloid disease is spreading to the networks! *he sighs and pushes the button to his secretary*

"Yes Mr. Meger?"

"Please send a memo to SNN asking them to avoid broadcasting these continuing pop scandals. The entertainment channels can do what they wan't, but this...stuff doesn't belong in the news."

"Yes Mr. Meger."

*Joeseph lets go of the button and turns his attention to more pressing duties*

Hot Elf Chicks!

Courtesy of the Polynesian Security Office!

Exclusive of Lady Siri and...

uh...

<_<
>_>

Inquire privately.

*disconnects from the Menelmacari security camera network*
Random Aide: Lady Ile-
Hegemon: OK, that's it. *profous amounts of automatic gunfire*
Random Aide: *runs away*

You make me sick....

Legolas...come back to bed honey...

You make me sick....

Legolas...come back to bed honey...

OOC:

You owe me a new keyboard!

-Kitsylvania in his brand spanking new alter ego nation

Public Broadcast from the Kalessin Ministry of Truth:

"Having observed the rumours concerning lady Sirithil of Menelmacar, we decided to investigate. What we found will shock the world. She is not actually having an affair with Melkor (In fact we have evidence that she is in fact having an affair with Empress Joanna of Lavenrunz, which we might bring you in a later bulletin). The truth is far, far worse."

*Video of Melkor and Siri walking down the beach, hand in hand, they then vanish behind a bush*

"This is where Freebodnik's news networks lost track, but our own in-house mages have succeeded in scanning the past image of this place is order to bring you the truth. This is what they saw, transferred directly from their minds to the film."

*Video of Siri and Melkor sitting down at a table behind the bush. Melkor takes out a large document, and hands it to Siri, who signs her name*

"Yes, Lady Sirithil of Menelmacar has made a treaty with Melkor to betray her own people. Rise up people of Menelmacar, against this nefarious traitress, before she brings ruin on you all!"

You make me sick....

Legolas...come back to bed honey...

Get abit over excited?

Black Hand operatives have managed to infiltrate Sirithil's personal archives and found a copy of the document in question:

"Trade agreement between Menelmacar and Melkor Unchained (not to be made public): The Holy Empire of Melkor Unchained hereby agrees to pay 10.000 credits to the Empire of Menelmacar in exchange for certain personal services provided for the Dark Lord Melkor by Lady Sirithil of Menelmacar herself. No rights can be obtained by either party involved in this agreement, except for the payment of aforementioned 10.000 credits by Melkor Unchained to Menelmacar and the aforementioned services provided by Lady Sirithil of Menelmacar personally for the Dark Lord Melkor from the Holy Empire of Melkor Unchained. Both parties agree not to publish, whether electronically or in printed/written form, any details of this agreement. "

Signed: Melkor, Lord of Darkness
Signed: Lady Sirithil of Menelmacar

I wonder if prostitution is legal in any of this two nations oO

If not, Der Angst would be honoured to give both, the Dark Lord Melkor as well as Lady Sirithil of Menelmacar, asylum (Here, Prostitution of both, males as well as females, is completely legal and respected, to be honest, our minister of the interior, Ms. Fasnese, sometimes prostitutes itselve to close some budget holes.

OOC: Nod, you crossed the line. The thread so far was an enjoyable read of innocent humor (at my expense, but innocent nonetheless). Your post was godmoddy and in bad taste.

And dammit, it's not like Siri is in such dire straits financially that she'd sell her body, especially for a mere ten grand.

~Lady Siri

Lady Siri is a lesbian, anyways. She's with that elf chick from Yggidrasil; what's her name, ohh... Iliendel. That's it.

~Holy Emperor Vladimir

ooc: *SMOTE* x (zounds) No involving me!!!

OOC: Nod, you crossed the line. The thread so far was an enjoyable read of innocent humor (at my expense, but innocent nonetheless). Your post was godmoddy and in bad taste.

And dammit, it's not like Siri is in such dire straits financially that she'd sell her body, especially for a mere ten grand.

~Lady Siri

OOC as well: Oh, come on, it's nothing personal.

OOC: Nod, you crossed the line. The thread so far was an enjoyable read of innocent humor (at my expense, but innocent nonetheless). Your post was godmoddy and in bad taste.







And dammit, it's not like Siri is in such dire straits financially that she'd sell her body, especially for a mere ten grand.







~Lady Siri





OOC: Nod lies are more godmodish than Iesus Christi lies. Snuggle someone and calm your mind. There is calm in the void. Only a heartbeat is eternal. The way of contemplation is like a boot to the head.



And I'd expect Morg to be the one getting paid, and not in some paltry sum like that - he's the one with the overextended economy. And she's the one who might be looking to breed an heir. :twisted:

OOC: Here, you can have a snuggle. *elfsnuggle* :mrgreen:

~Siri

OOC:how does one godmode a lie? I mean propaganda is well.....

I'm confused....

you want truth in propaganda?

Stange people

-Benjamin Bunny

OOC: Well, the best propaganda is that which is based on truth. For example, take as a totally innocent example the war in Iraq. Let's say band of civilian-clothed Iraqi soldiers attacks US troops in... I dunno, Basra, and are promptly dealt with. From that, the anti-war crowd could spin up all sorts of quagmire stories, allusions to Vietnam, etc. The pro-US crowd could portray it as another victory for the troops, just another step in the march to Baghdad. While the al-Jazeera types could spin it into glorious martyrdom for the Arab cause or something like that. Same event - three different stories. All of which have varying degrees of propagandization... but if one looks into the stated facts, they check out.

~Siri

Ewok Pride would like to condemn Nod's propaganda machine for such fabrications. We would also like to open up diplomatic channels with Lady Siri. We have trees to offer.

OOC: Here, you can have a snuggle. *elfsnuggle* :mrgreen:



~Siri

*territorialsnuggle* Which probably looks pretty odd given that the Advisor's 5'4" or so.

TSNN

anchor: over to you, angie borge

angie:thanks dick

anchor: but my names tony-

angie: whatever, recent evidence uncovered in the siri-melkor affair shows that the tape is a complete hoax, an engineered copy of the real tape with the head and body of siri covered by....... ex dictator of The Scorn, Borris Altzev Jr.! we can see the evidence is authentic because, as you see behind me, is the very beach the tape was filmed. This is The Scorn's only nudist beach and the Scornian government, led by Borris Altzev III is appalled at Melkor's trespass, however, nothing can be done as the ex-dictator has the right to invite anyone he likes the look of to-

(end of transmission)

B.A. III: dad? i didn't think you were, you know......

OOC:

Scorn: LOL!

Territory: That'd be pretty cute, actually. Maybe she could jump into my arms? :)

~Siri

...
Territory: That'd be pretty cute, actually. Maybe she could jump into my arms? :)



~Siri

OOC: Well, she's good with the jumping, if slightly on the heavy side. And while she gets a bit angsty around tall women I'm sure she'd be willing to work through her issues.

Which reminds me - thread to bump.

All your phpBB bugs are belong to us.

If you read carefully, you'll find that it's not Freebodnik IV's TV station, but an earth-based one called W.E.N.T.

OOC: 10,000 is too cheap unless the credit is a really big unit of currency. Might I suggest... 10 billion?

OOC: A credit is really big, as I understand it...

IC:

*points and laughs at all the operatives running around looking for pictures of Siri and Ilendiel*

We've got 'em, and you don't. Ha, ha.

...That is all.

Sakura Kitsuki

(Unless one of you wants to talk business, I suppose... 8) )

Selling out your friends, eh? What a very FILTHY CAPITALISTIC thing to do! :evil:

Well, I guess since it's that despot, it doesn't matter. :twisted:

~Imperial Foreign Advisor, Naga Kuroda

Selling out? It was broadcast on television already, silly. And it wasn't even us who broadcast it. We just happened to end up with the rights after Lavenrunz cancelled the show.

I know you've got a dozen or so televisions in that big dirt-poor socialist country of yours, so you should know what I'm talking about. :twisted:

Sakura Kitsuki

Silence you slut.
~Holy Emperor Vladimir

Yes, how DARE you accuse us of having the entire broadcast on tape! :evil:
~Imperial Espionage Advisor, Wan Xu

...
~Holy Emperor Vladimir

I mean, er, yes, silence! >_>
~Wan Xu

The Menelmacari credit's a pretty big currency, yes. It trades at an average of US$2.19.

~Siri

OOC: Huh, I thought it was bigger than that...

IC:

Now, Vlad, play nice. Don't forget, I've been in your bedroom, and I know all about the sick little toys you've got there. Wouldn't that make for an interesting documentary, hmm? "The Real Church of Raevyn," I could call it... :twisted:

Hey, most of them were yours!

I mean... all of them are yours! :oops:

~Holy Emperor Vladimir

Nice try, Vlad, but even I couldn't possibly fit that thing in your wardrobe into my luggage. Not to mention the thing bolted to the wall. And the thing on the top shelf in the back of the walk-in closet. And the thing in the poorly-concealed trap door beneath the one rug. Hell, I'd never even imagined something like that before.

Hmm. You know, if you ever decide the socialism thing isn't working out for you...

Oh, and say hi to Koshka for me.

Sakura Kitsuki

bump....

AW CHRIST

OOC: A old-time thread lives once again! This was during the religious peace conference in Lavenrunz! Ah, the memories...

Wow, this was right about the time the WMNK started. What a grand period in history!

How come people never post saucy tabloid junk about me?

Oh yeah, that's right, I have no libido. It's just too far-fetched.

--Hearty Aerospace Pirate Cap'n Mod Scolo

*grumbles something about killing you all*

*grumbles something about killing you all*

*still fears Lord Melkor*

*grumbles something about killing you all*

**Laughs something about not being afraid.**

*shakes head in amusement*

Now THIS is news worth hearing about!

Now THIS is news worth hearing about!

Or rather, "olds"...This has been around for a loooong time... :)

[OOC [for the love of god, OOC]: Come on, if I learned one thing from the Lord of the Rings movies it's this: Elvish chicks stay hot forever! woo hoo!]

And apparently so did Legolas.

"I wanted to **** Legolas, she was so hot!" - My Roommate, while still knowing the character was a male.

*grumbles something about killing you all*

Causes me to rebmebmer his first days of posting, when he barley knew who Melkor was from the Simarilion and had NO clue who Sirithil was, ahh those were the days. But then again this almost scared me outof NS

Oh, not THIS thread again! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Oh, not THIS thread again! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ya I know, I was looking at my oldests posts when this turned up :lol:

Yes, but if you take that one of Tolkien's ages would last around 3000 yrs, and that we are currently in the 4th Age...

No we're not. We're in the 7th... besides those are only Ages of the Sun ... there could've been millions of years before these.

Can you say death wish?

Can you say death wish?

who ME? What was that for?

Siri.... Melkor....

Your egos are starting to get out of hand, so...


BUMP!

Crimmond...

I hereby order you to cease bumping ancie... oh my...

Um, I...

-----------

IC: Prince Alexander looked through the various waves of propaganda. "What's this? Something from my 'forces of evil' magazine..."

He watches the video. "OH GOOD GOD, NO!"

Oh... I can't resist.

One... last... final....


BUMP


Then may it be buried for another two-three months, where somone will again bump it and expose a whole new generation of nations to the most well known Siri/Melkor thread.

As General Theallas was looking through the recent comuniques, he found this one, "ohh god, not this one again"

OOC: I was surpirsed when I saw this thread, do you think Menelmacar will Lock this for Grave-digging?

If so... someone will make a new thread about it, modded to work in todays NS world.

<.<

>.>

Why are you all looking at me?

Crimmond, don't gravedig. Next time you'll get a warning.

*does the lockomotion*

--The Flightless Lockopotamus--