Berzerk Mooses
13-07-2007, 13:22
In recent news, a Great White Skunk tore up a @@Nation@@'s citizen who was hanging out on the infamous Bhundee Beach. There have been requests for further protection from savage animals.
1. 'The beasts terrify me!' cries Dorothy Jones, an old lady who lives across the road, waving a stick, 'Yesterday a cat ran in front of a car and nearly killed me! What to do?! I know, let's kill all of the remotely dangerous animals in the nation!
Effect: @@Nation@@ is the host to some of the planet's most boring animals.
2. 'Like, dude,' says Ray Flashypants, a surfer, 'you can't let the animals rule your life, man. My kid brother got eaten by a rabid lobster a couple of days ago, but that's life man. Just leave it as it is. I'm going out to catch more waves.' Shortly after the interview, he was swallowed whole by a Pink venemous eel.
Effect: Surfers are frequently eaten by @@Nation's@@ many lethal creatures.
3. 'Hang on a second' says David Lee Strathord, a lifeguard at Bhundee Beach, 'we might have been able to do something if there were more of us, and if we were heavily armed, with harpoons and scuba kit. We'd form a protective net around the beaches to ensure no animals endanger the citizens. Everyone wins! Well, I guess there have to be more taxes, but hey, that's life!'
Effect: Armed Scuba Divers patrol the shores of @@Nation's@@ beaches, and kill any fish larger than their arms.
1. 'The beasts terrify me!' cries Dorothy Jones, an old lady who lives across the road, waving a stick, 'Yesterday a cat ran in front of a car and nearly killed me! What to do?! I know, let's kill all of the remotely dangerous animals in the nation!
Effect: @@Nation@@ is the host to some of the planet's most boring animals.
2. 'Like, dude,' says Ray Flashypants, a surfer, 'you can't let the animals rule your life, man. My kid brother got eaten by a rabid lobster a couple of days ago, but that's life man. Just leave it as it is. I'm going out to catch more waves.' Shortly after the interview, he was swallowed whole by a Pink venemous eel.
Effect: Surfers are frequently eaten by @@Nation's@@ many lethal creatures.
3. 'Hang on a second' says David Lee Strathord, a lifeguard at Bhundee Beach, 'we might have been able to do something if there were more of us, and if we were heavily armed, with harpoons and scuba kit. We'd form a protective net around the beaches to ensure no animals endanger the citizens. Everyone wins! Well, I guess there have to be more taxes, but hey, that's life!'
Effect: Armed Scuba Divers patrol the shores of @@Nation's@@ beaches, and kill any fish larger than their arms.