Ice Hockey Players
01-02-2007, 17:50
For the first time in its history, @@NAME@@'s national debt has exceeded its gross domestic product, leading to widespread distrust of government fiscal policy. Numberous solutions have been proposed, from the seemingly sane to the outright radical.
The Debate
1. "Governments are, by nature, inefficient spendthrifts - but there's a solution," preached @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Finance, while reading from a detailed report. "This government needs to be set up to run like a business. Businesses exist to make money, so if we change our government structure to that of a corporation and instill the same techniques in every level of our new business, we'll be making money and paying down that debt in no time. Of course, we'll have to cut a lot of corners, and only shareholders will get to vote, but we got ours and those who didn't...well, too bad for them."
[effect]shares of the government go for a hundred @@CURRENCY@@s a share on the international stock market
2. "Are you out of your mind? Privatizing government?" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a staunch workers' rights advocate. "This government is in debt because of irresponsible spending. It's about time we stopped bailing out failed businesses just so the CEOs can still afford their million-@@CURRENCY@@ yachts. That money can go toward balancing the budget and turning the tide on this debt, and pretty soon, we might have a surplus! When that happens, use the extra money to create jobs for the workers."
[effect]businesses all over @@NAME@@ are left to die without government assistance
3. "That worker person was right, but the problem isn't corporate welfare," chimes in @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the Isolationist League of @@NAME@@. "The problem is with foreign aid. We give out too much to every little do-nothing country in the world, and it costs big money. Corporate welfare creates jobs and is good for the economy. Foreign aid simply turns countries into dependent puppet states that just learn to hate us anyway."
[effect]lots of @@NAME@@'s neighbors are wondering where all that money they used to collect went
4. "You want foreign aid? I'll tell you about foreign aid," shouts General @@RANDOMNAME@@ from clear across the room so your eardrums don't rupture. "We need to get into the arms business. We need to sell to those little tinpot dictatorships that have been in wars since the dawn of time. And while we're at it, we can open up subsidiaries, keep their links to us secret,a nd sell their enemies weapons, too. That way, the wars continue, they keep buying our guns, and we make tons of money! This will keep all those other countries at our mercy...and yeah, I guess we can pay off the debt...if you really don't want to build a doomsday device..."
[effect]every other nation in the region is at war using @@NAME@@'s weapons
5. "Wow, so many solutions, so few that make sense," answers @@RANDOMNAME@@, talking to you from a computer screen in what appears to be a musty old basement. "Why don't we just...print off more money if we want to pay off the debt? Or better yet, just ignore it? Who's going to do anything? Don't tell me you're scared of a few debt collectors...I know I'm not. All five of my credit cards are maxed and I haven't paid a @@CURRENCY@@ on them in a year, and I'm still alive and...hold on, I gotta take this...uh-huh...yeah, I know it's overdue...lemme get you twenty @@CURRENCY@@s this week...OK, thanks, bye...anywho, I was saying to just ignore the debt. Spend like crazy. You only live once."
[effect]the government owes four times the entire net worth of its citizens and treasury
The Debate
1. "Governments are, by nature, inefficient spendthrifts - but there's a solution," preached @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Finance, while reading from a detailed report. "This government needs to be set up to run like a business. Businesses exist to make money, so if we change our government structure to that of a corporation and instill the same techniques in every level of our new business, we'll be making money and paying down that debt in no time. Of course, we'll have to cut a lot of corners, and only shareholders will get to vote, but we got ours and those who didn't...well, too bad for them."
[effect]shares of the government go for a hundred @@CURRENCY@@s a share on the international stock market
2. "Are you out of your mind? Privatizing government?" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a staunch workers' rights advocate. "This government is in debt because of irresponsible spending. It's about time we stopped bailing out failed businesses just so the CEOs can still afford their million-@@CURRENCY@@ yachts. That money can go toward balancing the budget and turning the tide on this debt, and pretty soon, we might have a surplus! When that happens, use the extra money to create jobs for the workers."
[effect]businesses all over @@NAME@@ are left to die without government assistance
3. "That worker person was right, but the problem isn't corporate welfare," chimes in @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the Isolationist League of @@NAME@@. "The problem is with foreign aid. We give out too much to every little do-nothing country in the world, and it costs big money. Corporate welfare creates jobs and is good for the economy. Foreign aid simply turns countries into dependent puppet states that just learn to hate us anyway."
[effect]lots of @@NAME@@'s neighbors are wondering where all that money they used to collect went
4. "You want foreign aid? I'll tell you about foreign aid," shouts General @@RANDOMNAME@@ from clear across the room so your eardrums don't rupture. "We need to get into the arms business. We need to sell to those little tinpot dictatorships that have been in wars since the dawn of time. And while we're at it, we can open up subsidiaries, keep their links to us secret,a nd sell their enemies weapons, too. That way, the wars continue, they keep buying our guns, and we make tons of money! This will keep all those other countries at our mercy...and yeah, I guess we can pay off the debt...if you really don't want to build a doomsday device..."
[effect]every other nation in the region is at war using @@NAME@@'s weapons
5. "Wow, so many solutions, so few that make sense," answers @@RANDOMNAME@@, talking to you from a computer screen in what appears to be a musty old basement. "Why don't we just...print off more money if we want to pay off the debt? Or better yet, just ignore it? Who's going to do anything? Don't tell me you're scared of a few debt collectors...I know I'm not. All five of my credit cards are maxed and I haven't paid a @@CURRENCY@@ on them in a year, and I'm still alive and...hold on, I gotta take this...uh-huh...yeah, I know it's overdue...lemme get you twenty @@CURRENCY@@s this week...OK, thanks, bye...anywho, I was saying to just ignore the debt. Spend like crazy. You only live once."
[effect]the government owes four times the entire net worth of its citizens and treasury