Ice Hockey Players
19-10-2006, 20:02
The popular news program "What's Going On Here, Anyway?" revealed that around 20 million people are living in @@NAME@@ without any documentation and without becoming citizens. The issue has brought out everyone from fierce nationalists to immigrants' rights specialists.
The Debate
1. "Border crossers are a stain on the nation we love," cries out @@RANDOMNAME@@, an angry nationalist. "In fact, we ought to stop them all. I propose erecting a fence around the border, closing off an area as a no man's land, and making planes, trains, and ships the only way in or out. Sure, it's expensive, but we have to keep them out somehow, even if it restricts freedom of movement a bit. Also, we ought to round up all these law-breakers without papers and send them back where they came from first thing tomorrow morning."
[effect]law-abiding citizens have to get security clearance to go on vacation out of the country
2. "Sure, that's just what we need - a big fence around the country," snipes @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the @@NAME@@ Bureau of Investigation. "People will defeat the fence. But they can't defeat an all-pervasive police force. What we need is a national ID of some sort as well as a campaign to remind people to carry their ID with them at all times. Those who don't? Well, we detain them, and if they can't prove who they are to us in fewer than one try, they get either deported or sent to prison, whichever we feel like. Again, it'll cost us, but that's what we collect taxes for, isn't it?"
[effect]foreign tourists are accosted by police asking for ID at every corner
3. "We're here! We're immigrants! And we're not going away!" are the shouts of first-generation @@NAME@@ residents, some of whom are in the country legally. One of them speaks up, "If it were easier to get our papers, we'd all do it! It's high time we allowed anyone who isn't obviously a terrorist or nut job to get their papers and become citizens! Those who become citizens can live free from government intrusion, and those who don't, we can...bug them until they do! Sooner or later, they'll just do it, and those who don't, well, those are the ones we can kick out or imprison! We'll play by the rules, but the rules have to be fair!"
[effect]immigrants comment frequently that it's easier to become a citizen than it is to get a driver's license
4. After all the hubbub is over, your cell phone rings. As you answer, the voice on the other end says, "Hi, it's @@RANDOMNAME@@. You know, the President of Super Hyper Mega Store. Anywho, I employ a few hundred thousand of these undocumented folks, and it's really swell for business. If they get deported, all of a sudden I have to hire citizens, and that means I actually have to pay them well. And it's no better if these people become citizens. Frankly, I like the arrangement we have just fine, and so do the workers I hire under the table. Yes, it's a little sneaky, but we should just be able to hire whomever we please whether they're here legally or not. After all, it's not like we brought them over here just to work for us."
[effect]large corporations quietly hire 'undocumented workers' to do jobs others find unpleasant
5. "Aha! I knew it! Super Hyper Mega Store's a bunch of crooks, and it's time for them to pay!" relishes @@RANDOMNAME@@, a disgruntled former SHMS executive who somehow overheard your last conversation. "We need to start issuign fines, and I mean serious fines, for every one of these 'undocumented workers' these corporations hire. If every single volation netted a fine of a hundred thousand @@CURRENCY@@s, and if we shut down major offenders, no manager would even think of talking to an illegal, let alone hiring them! And there you have the solution to this problem. Soon enough, there's no work for illegals, and they either get their papers or go home! Aside from that, hiring managers don't have to take the time to learn Bigtopian just to stay competitive."
[effect]the government collects massive fines off of companies who hire 'undocumented workers'
The Debate
1. "Border crossers are a stain on the nation we love," cries out @@RANDOMNAME@@, an angry nationalist. "In fact, we ought to stop them all. I propose erecting a fence around the border, closing off an area as a no man's land, and making planes, trains, and ships the only way in or out. Sure, it's expensive, but we have to keep them out somehow, even if it restricts freedom of movement a bit. Also, we ought to round up all these law-breakers without papers and send them back where they came from first thing tomorrow morning."
[effect]law-abiding citizens have to get security clearance to go on vacation out of the country
2. "Sure, that's just what we need - a big fence around the country," snipes @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the @@NAME@@ Bureau of Investigation. "People will defeat the fence. But they can't defeat an all-pervasive police force. What we need is a national ID of some sort as well as a campaign to remind people to carry their ID with them at all times. Those who don't? Well, we detain them, and if they can't prove who they are to us in fewer than one try, they get either deported or sent to prison, whichever we feel like. Again, it'll cost us, but that's what we collect taxes for, isn't it?"
[effect]foreign tourists are accosted by police asking for ID at every corner
3. "We're here! We're immigrants! And we're not going away!" are the shouts of first-generation @@NAME@@ residents, some of whom are in the country legally. One of them speaks up, "If it were easier to get our papers, we'd all do it! It's high time we allowed anyone who isn't obviously a terrorist or nut job to get their papers and become citizens! Those who become citizens can live free from government intrusion, and those who don't, we can...bug them until they do! Sooner or later, they'll just do it, and those who don't, well, those are the ones we can kick out or imprison! We'll play by the rules, but the rules have to be fair!"
[effect]immigrants comment frequently that it's easier to become a citizen than it is to get a driver's license
4. After all the hubbub is over, your cell phone rings. As you answer, the voice on the other end says, "Hi, it's @@RANDOMNAME@@. You know, the President of Super Hyper Mega Store. Anywho, I employ a few hundred thousand of these undocumented folks, and it's really swell for business. If they get deported, all of a sudden I have to hire citizens, and that means I actually have to pay them well. And it's no better if these people become citizens. Frankly, I like the arrangement we have just fine, and so do the workers I hire under the table. Yes, it's a little sneaky, but we should just be able to hire whomever we please whether they're here legally or not. After all, it's not like we brought them over here just to work for us."
[effect]large corporations quietly hire 'undocumented workers' to do jobs others find unpleasant
5. "Aha! I knew it! Super Hyper Mega Store's a bunch of crooks, and it's time for them to pay!" relishes @@RANDOMNAME@@, a disgruntled former SHMS executive who somehow overheard your last conversation. "We need to start issuign fines, and I mean serious fines, for every one of these 'undocumented workers' these corporations hire. If every single volation netted a fine of a hundred thousand @@CURRENCY@@s, and if we shut down major offenders, no manager would even think of talking to an illegal, let alone hiring them! And there you have the solution to this problem. Soon enough, there's no work for illegals, and they either get their papers or go home! Aside from that, hiring managers don't have to take the time to learn Bigtopian just to stay competitive."
[effect]the government collects massive fines off of companies who hire 'undocumented workers'