NationStates Jolt Archive

Employees for Super Hyper Mega Store, @@NAME@@'s largest employer, have staged a massive protest over SHMS's apparent refusal to issue paychecks to anyone for the past 45 days. Some employees have initiated suits for back pay and clearing of their names.

The Debate

1. "We work too long and too hard for these people!" cries out @@RANDOMNAME@@, an assistant manager in some obscure department. "I might only make sixty @@CURRENCY@@s a day, but I need that money! I have a home I have to pay for, and the electric company's been trying to collect from me! We need to enforce the laws that say they have to pay us, and while we're at it, I worked way over my allottment of hours last week. I should get a bonus for that as well, and they should have to pay it!"
[effect]large corporations are strapped for cash after shelling out truckloads of back pay

2. "It's all not good enough!" charges an even angrier @@RANDOMNAME@@, who appears to have charge out of an SHMS stockroom. "We've been wronged here! They owe us DOUBLE our lost wages, AND they should have to compensate us for all the late fees we incur! Plus they should be audited repeatedly to make sure they actually pay us! These big corporations deserve to be micromanaged into the ground because we can't trust them!"
[effect]the government's new Department of Corporate Regulation is now its largest

3. "Look, we're a big company here; look at it from our end!" Such are the words of @@RANDOMNAME@@, executive vice president of Super Hyper Mega Store. "As low as our prices are, we can't afford to shell out billions of @@CURRENCY@@s at once for all this back pay. Sure, we'll pay their late charges, but we need to issue them their back pay in installments. Give us a year to get it all back to them in their next checks. But not all at once. After all, if you still want a gravy boat for five @@CURRENCY@@s, we have to be able to afford it too."
[effect]workers who miss paychecks wait forever to get their back pay bit by bit

4. After the area disperses, a man in a black suit and hat stands at your office door. Before you can ask, "Can I help you?", he begins to speak. "Paying those people will solve nothing. The bottom line is that big corporations should be allowed to set their own rules, and if that means they don't pay their employees, then so be it. If the employees don't like it...well, they can find other jobs. The free market is a wonderful thing...well, if you have money it is..." He starts laughing maniacally before security comes and escorts him away.
[effect]employers "forget" to pay their workers as a cost-cutting measure

Three of your four options give the workers their pay. That's way too fair. Where are the protestors? Where are the bombers? Where are the corporate guards with Uzis keeping the workers chained to their cash registers?

This is NationStates. Be a bit more extreme.

Hmmm...**goes back to drawing board for options that make people think, "Seriously, dude, WTF?"**

**remembers that another NSer referred to an option in one of my previous issues as "a Stalinist wet dream"**

**stops talking in whatever type of talk this is**

All right, let's try a little more effed up.

All right, same issue, same intro, different options.

Employees for Super Hyper Mega Store, @@NAME@@'s largest employer, have staged a massive protest over SHMS's apparent refusal to issue paychecks to anyone for the past 45 days. Some employees have initiated suits for back pay and clearing of their names.

The Debate

1. "We work too long and too hard for these people!" cries out @@RANDOMNAME@@, an assistant manager in some obscure department. "I might only make sixty @@CURRENCY@@s a day, but I need that money! I have a home I have to pay for, and the electric company's been trying to collect from me! The fact is that they owe us big time for this. They should pay us double the amount they owe us, plus all the late fees we get for our bills, and they had better get it to us in 15 days! If the corporate fat cats have to sell a yacht to do it, fine by us!"
[effect]the government forces corporations to pay double for pay violations

2. At this time, your cell phone rings, and the ID reads @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of SHMS. The voice on the other end says, "Surely you don't expect me to pay this disoragnized bunch of wimps, do you? The fact is, I have to watch my bottom line. If I want to buy a yacht...err, feed my family, I can't just go writing checks. The bottom line is, I am asking you for a special antitrust exemption for my corporation as well as the right to declare these workers my property. I'll shack them up and feed them on their breaks, but that's a lot cheaper than just writing a bunch of checks. And while we're at it, send anyone who's undesirable my way as well, like homeless people."
[effect]homeless people and other undesirables are rounded up and turned into "human capital" for corporations

3. "Look, don't tell my boss I was here, but I have a solution," chimes in an exhausted SHMS manager, speaking on condition of anonymity while wearing a superhero mask. "We have to watch our bottom line more than anything, but if we let these people go without pay, they'll quit and we'll be sunk. What we need to do is get their pay back to them in installments. Sure, we'll ice things over with them and their late bills. That's not a problem. But we can't make up all their pay now. If you ever want to buy a gravy boat for five @@CURRENCY@@s again, you'll let us pay it in installments. That and we don't want to look like an evil, creepy corporation in front of those jerks at the Times, do we?"
[effect]workers often see their missing paychecks returned to them in little bits they hardly notice on future checks

4. "All right, this has gone far enough! I've had it!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, former owner of This Is A Small Business Inc. "Those jerks at Super Hyper Mega Store put me out of business. Now what am I going to do? Work for them? I hate them. I got a lot of friends who do, too. We want to see them taken down, and I know just how to do it. We need to shut down Super Hyper Mega Store, liquidate all their crooked assets, drop a few bones to the workers, and take the leftover billions of @@CURRENCY@@s and start up a fund for small business wannabes. At least then they can do something they really enjoy and make more money at it."
[effect]people are known to use government funds to open stores that sell cheese sculptures

OK, how's that for extreme options?

I don't know about the rest of it, but I'll try to convince the issue editors to include "using government funds to open stores that sell cheese sculptures" somewhere.

[ Mr. Burns voice ] Eeeeexcellent. [ /Mr. Burns voice ] I'll go ahead and submit it.

I think this is an interesting idea




Hope to see it pop up on my nations someday

I'll go ahead and submit it.
Now hang on, chief. I made some general comments. Do not assume that it's ready to go based on my 30-second overview. Get some issue people to look at it.