Ice Hockey Players
21-08-2006, 16:39
A report by the @@NAME@@ Council of Adoption Agencies reports that only one in 500 kids who enters the adoption system is ever adopted, leaving millions of kids without parents for life. With most agencies working on a limited budget with little government funding, the problem is reaching its breaking point.
The Debate
1. "Look at all these poor kids!" cries out @@RANDOMNAME@@, a harried adoption agency manager. "No one wants to adopt anymore! I think it's high time we found homes for all these kids by establishing mandatory waiting lists for all parents! Every time a couple gets married, they have to register for adoption, and when their number comes up, they're parents! Granted, we can give preference to those who volunteer, but when no one does, we draft couples into parenting! Except the criminals and wackos, but they don't really need to be having kids anyway. While we're at it, a little stipend to help the parents is nice so the parents don't go broke and bring their kids right back to us is needed!"
[effect]all married couples are subject to raising adopted kids for a small stipend
2. "Mandatory adoption? It just won't work," chimes in @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Taxation. "What we need are massive tax breaks for adopted children. We'll set up a tax bracket for adopted parents that's so favorable, it's like getting by without paying taxes! We can keep the tax breaks for having kids by birth in place, but they won't be anything like this! With all the money these adopted kids will bring in when they're actually educated, we might end up bringing in MORE tax money! That and we get these pesky agency people off our backs! Relief at last!"
[effect]adoptive parents pay a fraction of the tax that birth parents pay
3. "THAT'S THE WORST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD!" shouts General @@RANDOMNAME@@ from the other end of the building so you don't injure your eardrums. "These kids are perfect soldiers! No parents, no crying relatives when they don't come home from some foreign war! All these kids can come with us and be raised to go to war, or if they have a brain in their heads, they can learn to be officers one day! Just send a little more cash toward the military and this so-called adoption problem is solved!"
[effect]the military is full of kids once given up for adoption
4. "This problem won't ever go away, but I know how you can make it easier!" argues @@RANDOMNAME@@, president of Two Parents For Life, a special interest group of some sort. "Kids should be raised by their biological parents no matter what. That's who they should be stuck with. For kids born out of wedlock? Their parents have to get married. If one parent dies...well, OK, the other parent has to get remarried or give the kids up to a married family member. This ought to clear out the adoption agencies. No one gives anyone up for adoption this way, no matter how dirt poor, drunken, or diseased their biological parents are. Bye bye parenting problems."
[effect]parents who can't stand each other are stuck together until their kids grow up
The Debate
1. "Look at all these poor kids!" cries out @@RANDOMNAME@@, a harried adoption agency manager. "No one wants to adopt anymore! I think it's high time we found homes for all these kids by establishing mandatory waiting lists for all parents! Every time a couple gets married, they have to register for adoption, and when their number comes up, they're parents! Granted, we can give preference to those who volunteer, but when no one does, we draft couples into parenting! Except the criminals and wackos, but they don't really need to be having kids anyway. While we're at it, a little stipend to help the parents is nice so the parents don't go broke and bring their kids right back to us is needed!"
[effect]all married couples are subject to raising adopted kids for a small stipend
2. "Mandatory adoption? It just won't work," chimes in @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Taxation. "What we need are massive tax breaks for adopted children. We'll set up a tax bracket for adopted parents that's so favorable, it's like getting by without paying taxes! We can keep the tax breaks for having kids by birth in place, but they won't be anything like this! With all the money these adopted kids will bring in when they're actually educated, we might end up bringing in MORE tax money! That and we get these pesky agency people off our backs! Relief at last!"
[effect]adoptive parents pay a fraction of the tax that birth parents pay
3. "THAT'S THE WORST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD!" shouts General @@RANDOMNAME@@ from the other end of the building so you don't injure your eardrums. "These kids are perfect soldiers! No parents, no crying relatives when they don't come home from some foreign war! All these kids can come with us and be raised to go to war, or if they have a brain in their heads, they can learn to be officers one day! Just send a little more cash toward the military and this so-called adoption problem is solved!"
[effect]the military is full of kids once given up for adoption
4. "This problem won't ever go away, but I know how you can make it easier!" argues @@RANDOMNAME@@, president of Two Parents For Life, a special interest group of some sort. "Kids should be raised by their biological parents no matter what. That's who they should be stuck with. For kids born out of wedlock? Their parents have to get married. If one parent dies...well, OK, the other parent has to get remarried or give the kids up to a married family member. This ought to clear out the adoption agencies. No one gives anyone up for adoption this way, no matter how dirt poor, drunken, or diseased their biological parents are. Bye bye parenting problems."
[effect]parents who can't stand each other are stuck together until their kids grow up