NationStates Jolt Archive

There are some hilarious issues that go unapreciated on NS. Post here some of your favorites.

Heres one of mine under the issue of which area in the military should get more funding.

"You're all thinking too small!" exclaims Randy Hanover, an avid Star Wars fan. "What we need is more research into the possibilities of space weapons! Big laser cannon and satellites with complete annihilation power! And cool spaceships! Boom! Rat-a-tata! Bang! Bang! It'll be expensive, sure, but think of the power! THE POWER!"

I actually choose that one whenever it comes along

MUAHUAHUAHUA!

I kind of like this one following UFO sightings:

Spies! It's gotta be spies! A few planes or satellites from our enemies or 'allies' in our region," rages General Max Jong-Il, head of Imroon's military, "The only way to keep those snoops out of our airspace is to patrol the streets 'n skies, and shoot 'em down! Even if they are some sort of little green aliens, a couple of SAM batteries and a few flak cannons'll keep 'em from abducting our elephants."


(never chose it though)

This ones hilarious about multi linguilism.

"Smarker, but ee's gone blongie 'round the clonger! Trandy in the blang warked a newtie on the Cheebers, quaff me a duggle if it's brine. Sorky, hang our trandy high!" says Roxanne Hamilton, speaking for the demonstrators, in an apparently rousing response that draws a cascade of cheers. After a few uncomfortable minutes with a professional translator, you find the speaker said, "I respectfully disagree with the Minister. Multilingualism has brought stability to richly-cultured nations such as Brancaland; indeed, I challenge you to provide a single counterexample. I encourage this government to adopt a policy of multilingualism throughout NATION"

This ones about burning flags

"Burning should be allowed for everything! Down with the pig cops and their repressive regime!" says well-known anarchist and arsonist Buffy Shiomi, from the comfy and non-flammable confines of a prison cell. "Burn! Burn burn burn! Everything! Kyahahaha!"

This could be hilarious, if it wasn't so un-PC. It helps to know the meaning of my nation's name. Kahanistan literally means, land of the Kahanists, i.e. extremist religious wackos, it's to Jews and Israelis what Al-Qaeda is to Arabs and Muslims or what the Westboro Baptist Church and G.H.F. is to Western Christians. (I RP as a democracy with a large Arab population, but I originally intended to RP as an extremist Zionist state, hence the name.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kahanism

If you're familiar with the blood libel, it's even more hilarious. (Then again, I'm not Jewish, so maybe it's less funny to them.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_libel

Anyway, and without further ado...

Kahanistan Decides:
Arabs on the Dinner Table?

The Issue
In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for Kahanistan's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that Arabs could be added to the menu.

The Debate
1. "The fact is, the Arab population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Abraham Shiomi. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have Arab kebabs, Arab pies, Arab-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."
[Accept]

2. "I agree that something needs to be done about Arab over-population," says random passer-by Samuel Rubin, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
[Accept]

3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Calvin Mombota. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The Arabs were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The Arab is part of what makes Kahanistan a great nation!"
[Accept]

NOTE: I am not anti-Arab, or anti-Jewish in RL. If you want to debate politics with me, my AIM is in my profile, I'm on a lot and I'm fairly civil.

Uh, I should still tell you that we don't allow you to use things like 'Arabs' as your national animal or currency. Just like we don't allow Jews, redheads, slaves, Frenchmen, etc. Basically any subsets of humanity isn't allowed.

So, you'd better change it.

I guess that includes eskimoes as well then...

this ones hilarious, its about minorities in the country who have imigrated and their homeland wars have sparked fights in ur country

"Foreigners are a major cause of civil disturbances," begins Alexei du Pont, whose opinions form the book '101 Arguments FOR Slavery'. "What we should do is make all immigrants, foreigners, and non-native Communist Crazy Crazy folks slaves! I mean, who in Communist Crazy Crazy wouldn't like a minority slave group to do his bidding? Imagine! People could be bought and sold over the Internet!"

Uh, I should still tell you that we don't allow you to use things like 'Arabs' as your national animal or currency. Just like we don't allow Jews, redheads, slaves, Frenchmen, etc. Basically any subsets of humanity isn't allowed.

So, you'd better change it.
Out of curiosity, does that apply to fictional subsets? If a nation listed Quaonion as their animal, is that allowed? What if I give consent?

I actually choose that one whenever it comes along

MUAHUAHUAHUA!

I kind of like this one following UFO sightings:



(never chose it though)

I just chose it last night. Apprarently your army starts shoting down birds and kites when you do. At least they are killing birds though.

Uh, I should still tell you that we don't allow you to use things like 'Arabs' as your national animal or currency. Just like we don't allow Jews, redheads, slaves, Frenchmen, etc. Basically any subsets of humanity isn't allowed.

So, you'd better change it.

Are brawl hall twats allowed? One of my socks uses that as it's national animal.

Are brawl hall twats allowed? One of my socks uses that as it's national animal.
If it were me, I'd go with the assumption that if you have to ask, the answer's no.

But the problem is it isn't you, it's me, and so I will ask.

Personally, I don't mind subsets of humans being a national animal, but the other nation in a region I used to be in used parrots as his animal - and then he ate them! :eek: I decided to leave that region for awhile. :D

I saw someone post that topic once, who's national animal was humans...

Personally, I don't mind subsets of humans being a national animal, but the other nation in a region I used to be in used parrots as his animal - and then he ate them! :eek: I decided to leave that region for awhile. :D

Was it a pirate themed country that once ranked 1st in the world for most politically apathetic citizens, and an inoffensive centrist democracy? I actually remember that one. Too bad I can't remember it's name.

Was it a pirate themed country that once ranked 1st in the world for most politically apathetic citizens, and an inoffensive centrist democracy? I actually remember that one. Too bad I can't remember it's name.

I doubt it. It was a pirate country (Pirate Invaders), but it only has about 200 million pop, and I doubt if it was ever #1.

Uh, I should still tell you that we don't allow you to use things like 'Arabs' as your national animal or currency. Just like we don't allow Jews, redheads, slaves, Frenchmen, etc. Basically any subsets of humanity isn't allowed.

So, you'd better change it.
Um, right now my people are eating rebels-on-a-stick. I guess I should go...change...that.

but nations DO use slaves as currency...so why can't a game imitate real-life?

but nations DO use slaves as currency...so why can't a game imitate real-life?
Because the mods say so.

We interrupt the discussion of the rules to return to the discussion of funny issues. :p

From Deserts Devouring Dishonorable Scum's Countryside:
"Yee-haw, these here deserts are the greatest thang that's happened in YARS!" drawls noted cowboy Hamish McGraw, twirling his shootin' irons. "This is just what Dishonorable Scum needs! Just git a stagecoach out har an tha' foreign types will come a-flockin,' y'all see if ah'm wrong! We don't need no fundin' f' tha' environment! Them's farmers c'n jus' git minin' fer GOLD!"

Which leads to the inevitable question: Who the heck is Hamish McGraw, and why is his name hard-coded into the issue?