Golgothastan
20-05-2006, 12:45
This is kind of inspired by a real news story.
Not sure of title yet
After a fatal stabbing in a school, the victim's family have petitioned government to institute greater regulations on knives.
Validity: All.
[option]"It's easier to buy a knife than it is to get cigarettes or drive car," sobs @@RANDONNAME@@, mother of the boy who was stabbed. "And that's just not right. Guns get all the publicity, but people seem to forget knives can kill too. There should be age limits and compulsory ID checks for purchases of all blades...it's what our little Timmy would have wanted."
[effect]chefs have to undergo intensive psychological profiling before restocking their kitchen implements
[option]Noted pacifist @@RANDONNAME@@ wants to go further. "Why are we still allowing these barbarisms to be sold in our shops? There should be a ban on the import and production of all knives, except those needed for professional purposes - and collection and registration of all existing ones. If people want ornamental weapons, they can go see them in a military museum."
[effect]the Swiss Army Blunt Cutting Tool is top of Christmas wish-lists this year
[option]"Hey, I heard some people died in a car accident. Ban cars! Or how about that guy who choked on a pretzel? Ban snacks products!" says soldier-turned-gamekeeper @@RANDONNAME@@, rolling their eyes before continuing. "Yes, the stabbing was a tragedy. But the loss of a valuable tool would be just as tragic for our nation. Any restriction on our ability to buy knives for work, recreation or self-defence is a restriction on our freedom."
[effect]Jimmy "The Slasher" O'Rourke has just been elected Mayor of @@NAME@@ City
[option]"Meat? No problem! Vegetables? Any time! Cheese and bread? Of course! The Handicorp Utility 9-Blade Set is made of the finest stainless steel, and will never fail you, guaranteed! For all your sawing, hacking, chopping, dicing and disembowelling needs! Get one today for the low low price of 9.95 @@CURRENCY@@s! Offer must end soon!" beams blood-spattered salesman, @@RANDONNAME@@, adding, "See, knives are a great source of revenue for the retail industry. You shouldn't be banning them...you should be encouraging them! Now arrest these commies for treason, and hurry get your wife something from our Bonecracker Range!"
[effect]questioning the power of weapons manufacturers is a capital offence
I have a question: would this count as an "Arms Manufacturing" issue? "Arms" to me includes knives, but they've generally only been about guns. Also, thoughts? Title suggestions?
Not sure of title yet
After a fatal stabbing in a school, the victim's family have petitioned government to institute greater regulations on knives.
Validity: All.
[option]"It's easier to buy a knife than it is to get cigarettes or drive car," sobs @@RANDONNAME@@, mother of the boy who was stabbed. "And that's just not right. Guns get all the publicity, but people seem to forget knives can kill too. There should be age limits and compulsory ID checks for purchases of all blades...it's what our little Timmy would have wanted."
[effect]chefs have to undergo intensive psychological profiling before restocking their kitchen implements
[option]Noted pacifist @@RANDONNAME@@ wants to go further. "Why are we still allowing these barbarisms to be sold in our shops? There should be a ban on the import and production of all knives, except those needed for professional purposes - and collection and registration of all existing ones. If people want ornamental weapons, they can go see them in a military museum."
[effect]the Swiss Army Blunt Cutting Tool is top of Christmas wish-lists this year
[option]"Hey, I heard some people died in a car accident. Ban cars! Or how about that guy who choked on a pretzel? Ban snacks products!" says soldier-turned-gamekeeper @@RANDONNAME@@, rolling their eyes before continuing. "Yes, the stabbing was a tragedy. But the loss of a valuable tool would be just as tragic for our nation. Any restriction on our ability to buy knives for work, recreation or self-defence is a restriction on our freedom."
[effect]Jimmy "The Slasher" O'Rourke has just been elected Mayor of @@NAME@@ City
[option]"Meat? No problem! Vegetables? Any time! Cheese and bread? Of course! The Handicorp Utility 9-Blade Set is made of the finest stainless steel, and will never fail you, guaranteed! For all your sawing, hacking, chopping, dicing and disembowelling needs! Get one today for the low low price of 9.95 @@CURRENCY@@s! Offer must end soon!" beams blood-spattered salesman, @@RANDONNAME@@, adding, "See, knives are a great source of revenue for the retail industry. You shouldn't be banning them...you should be encouraging them! Now arrest these commies for treason, and hurry get your wife something from our Bonecracker Range!"
[effect]questioning the power of weapons manufacturers is a capital offence
I have a question: would this count as an "Arms Manufacturing" issue? "Arms" to me includes knives, but they've generally only been about guns. Also, thoughts? Title suggestions?