NationStates Jolt Archive

1. "The fact is, the human population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Pete Mombota. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have human kebabs, human pies, human-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

2. "I agree that something needs to be done about human over-population," says random passer-by Pip Mombota, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
[Accept]

3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Freddy McAlpin. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The humans were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The human is part of what makes Sophismata a great nation!"
[Accept]



:confused:

That's what you get for making humans your national animal.

What did you expect?

I would advise changing it, before the mods see this.

1. "The fact is, the human population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Pete Mombota. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have human kebabs, human pies, human-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

2. "I agree that something needs to be done about human over-population," says random passer-by Pip Mombota, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
[Accept]

3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Freddy McAlpin. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The humans were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The human is part of what makes Sophismata a great nation!"
[Accept]



:confused:

LOL! :) I can't believe you picked #1, you pro-cannibal!

And option #3 is just plain comfusing! :confused:

humans as the national animal? wow.

Heh, that was pretty funny actually.

Yeah, 3 is my favorite. :)

Heh, that was pretty funny actually.

That is funny. :D

There's all sorts of fun we can have with the customizable fields.

I remember a while ago searching Jolt archives with Google and finding something similar a while ago, only the Negro male population was out of control.

I haven't been able to dig it up on a recent Google, though, the nation was called Negrostan.

EDIT: Changed my Google settings, here's the link. There are some other funnies there, too.

http://forum.skadi.net/archive/index.php/t-7135.html

The Nomadic Peoples of Negrostan
"Negroes Unite Under Negrostan"

Negrostan's national animal is the negro male, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the fried chicken.

Negrostan Decides:
Negro males on the Dinner Table?

The Issue
In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for Negrostan's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that negro males could be added to the menu.

The Debate
1. "The fact is, the negro male population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Jack Trax. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have negro male kebabs, negro male pies, negro male-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."
[Accept]

2. "I agree that something needs to be done about negro male over-population," says random passer-by George W. Shiomi, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
[Accept]

3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Elizabeth Summers. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The negro males were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The negro male is part of what makes Negrostan a great nation!"
[Accept]

http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=negrostan

LOL, why is your national animal the human? Funny nonetheless. :D

LMAO! Man, haven't had a jolly laugh in a while...thanks man. :D

Mine's funnier:

1. "The fact is, the Kenny population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Pete Mombota. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have Kenny kebabs, Kenny pies, Kenny-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."

2. "I agree that something needs to be done about Kenny over-population," says random passer-by Pip Mombota, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
[Accept]

3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Freddy McAlpin. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The Kennys were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The Kenny is part of what makes Omigodtheykilledkenny a great nation!"
[Accept]Never get the issue anymore however; Kenny is nearing extinction. Oh, don't look at me like that ... it was only inevitable, with him dying in every episode and all.

I would advise changing it, before the mods see this."Human" is an illegal national animal choice? I know choosing the "Jew" or the "Mexican" as your national animal is nixed, but I don't think a generic human is taboo.

:confused:

"Human" is an illegal national animal choice? I know choosing the "Jew" or the "Mexican" as your national animal is nixed, but I don't think a generic human is taboo.

:confused:

It's not.

Edit: Though I should really try to dig up the thread where that ruling comes from...

It's not.Save your time. It's perfectly legal. It's subsets that are banned.

Kicked to Got Issues?

Here's something from the The Syndicate RMB:
"The Capitalist Pig was never meant to mate with a dog! They eat my crops, they attack my livestock and they're breeding so quickly they're swamping the environment!"

Thats life for you! :)
From the issue "Plauge of the Hybrids"

I still like my two:

When Tiger Moths Attack!

After several incidences of tiger moths violently attacking, injuring, and in some cases even killing citizens...
I wonder how a moth can kill humans 200 times its size...
2. "Sure, bunnys might look cute and harmless to you," says retired hunting legend Max W. Bush, "but back in my day, they were the scourge on the nation. They carry a number of dangerous diseases, and you do NOT want to be bitten by one. My cousin was once bitten by a bunny. So now you want my grandchildren exposed to these things? The sooner they disappear completely, the better!"
Oh noez! Bring out the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch!

Cluichstan's national animal is the steamed crab. Imagine the weirdness I get with a cooked animal.

And of course, there's my puppet Chuck Norris the God, which has as its national animal the dead horse...

It's not.

Edit: Though I should really try to dig up the thread where that ruling comes from...
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8784627&postcount=2

I was going off the fourth paragraph down, where it said that Note that malicious use of any human or racial terms as national animals is expressly forbidden.

It makes sense now, but perhaps that could be clarified?

Heh, that was pretty funny actually.

I know, really! :p

I had the opposite a few weeks ago:

Androids On The Dinner Table?

The Issue
In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for The Empire Never Ended's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that androids could be added to the menu.

The Debate
"The fact is, the android population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Freddy Shiomi. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have android kebabs, android pies, android-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."
[Accept]


"I agree that something needs to be done about android over-population," says random passer-by Miranda Falopian, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
[Accept]


"I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Bill Hendrikson. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The androids were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The android is part of what makes The Empire Never Ended a great nation!"
[Accept]

Sounds Blade Runner-esque, no?

its best to use animals as your national animal, to avoid junk like that.

I like to make the "puppet" the national animal for my, well, puppet nations... the "Puppets on the Dinner Table?" issue was funny enough, but I think that the "Puppet Hunting Laws Under Dispute" issue turned out to be even funnier:

Kel Taredas Decides:

Puppet Hunting Laws Under Dispute


The Issue

The fierce debate on puppet hunting in Kel Taredas has been brought to your attention after vociferous supporters of both sides of the argument stormed your parliament.

The Debate

1. "Puppet hunting is a cruel and horrible 'sport' for the wealthy," says Larry Chicago of the 'Protect Anything Cute and Furry Society'. "How can you possibly justify it? Oh, they witter on about 'tradition' and 'pest control' and other such nonsense, but really we all know it's because these sadists love to torture poor, innocent animals! Hunting must be banned!"

2. "Banning puppet hunting would be the end for centuries of tradition!" wails esteemed aristocrat Pete Utopia from atop his steed. "The thrill of the chase, the baying of the hounds, the puppet scooting through the undergrowth - it would be a travesty! We provide much needed stimulus to the local tourism, and you can't deny that puppets are pests - killing farmers' livestock for example! I propose that puppet hunting be encouraged, for the cultural - and economic - benefit of the nation!"

3. "Well, you know what I think?" asks Buy Chicago, while helping to assemble a small trebuchet. "I reckon that the real issue about this sport is the cruelty aspect, and no-one can deny that sending a pack of dogs to tear apart a poor, innocent puppet is cruel. I reckon we should just ban hunting with hounds and only allow kinder and more instantly lethal methods like guns, tranquillisers, and cruise missiles."

4. "I'm firmly against the slaughter of dumb animals," says Thomas Summers, while feeding an infant puppet with a milk bottle. "It would be best if the animals didn't die, and hunters could still do what they love to do - how about instead of shooting them or sending vicious canines after them, the hunter runs up to his quarry and gives it a symbolic 'tap' with his hand? Now isn't that much nicer for everyone.

its best to use animals as your national animal, to avoid junk like that.
:rolleyes: That's not the point.

And of course, there's my puppet Chuck Norris the God, which has as its national animal the dead horse...

So that's who it is. :eek:

I'm Durnia the ex-Delegate or it might be Durmianta at the moment, I forget. ;)