NationStates Jolt Archive

this is my first time making an issue so i need some feedback and editing thanks

@@NAME@@ decides:

The Sound off

The Issue

Residents living near popular entertainment centres created People Against Noise (PAN). This issue finally catches attention from money making entertainment giants including @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@.

The Debate

1. "This NOISE must stop!" cries a PAN member,@@RANDOMNAME@@, "We simple MUST ban this noise making! We cannot sleep, concentrate, or even live in peace! What about the children?! Every day and night they go to these places and neglect their education! This cannot go on, I propse to create a law that does not allow entertainment centres to go within 50 km of a neighborhood." [option]

Results: All entertainment industries within 50 km of a neighbourhood must be taken down and the law is enforced.
Stats: civil freedoms down, happiness down, economy down

2. "That's completely insane!" @@RANDOMNAME@@, President of @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ says, "What about all the other entertainment industries that are already near residential areas?? What, you want us to just tear them all down?! I think the residents themselves should move if they hate the noise so much and go live on a farm!" [option]

Results: Residents opposed to noise are living on farms.
Stats: economy stable, population down

3. "Yo thats like, so not right guy. What'll I do after school if I lose my arcade man? I need to meet some chicks like this one over here." @@RANDOMNAME@@ says, pointing to a fellow teen beside him.
"Like please people, as if you didn't ruin OUR lives enough. Like I SO need to go shopping for like EVERYTHIHG. Like taking it away will be like, killer. Like, what am I going to do at night? Like, clubbing of course. How will I like, so meet people? Like duh? Like totally against it." @@RANDOMNAME@@, says flipping her hair. [option]

Results: Entertainment is here to stay. PAN members are angry and causes havoc targeting the entertainment centres and teenagers.
Stats: Happiness up, education down

The Government Position


If you wish, you may simply dismiss this issue


@@SLOGAN@@

It's a good idea, but it has some kinks that need to be worked out. I'll look at 'em one at a time:

@@NAME@@ decides:

The Sound off

The Issue

Residents living near popular entertainment centres created People Against Noise (PAN). This issue finally catches attention from money making entertainment giants including @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@.

The Debate

1. "This NOISE must stop!" cries a PAN member,@@RANDOMNAME@@, "We simple MUST ban this noise making! We cannot sleep, concentrate, or even live in peace! What about the children?! Every day and night they go to these places and neglect their education! This cannot go on, I propse to create a law that does not allow entertainment centres to go within 50 km of a neighborhood." [option]
Option goes at the beginning of an issue, not at the end.

Results: All entertainment industries within 50 km of a neighbourhood must be taken down and the law is enforced.
Stats: civil freedoms down, happiness down, economy down

It ought to look like this:
[effect]all entertainment industries within 50 km of a neighbourhood must be taken down
[stats]civil freedoms down, happiness down, economy down

2. "That's completely insane!" @@RANDOMNAME@@, President of @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@
Major Industry isn't an actual industry, just a sector like book publishing. It would probably be President of @@NAME@@ @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ Co.

says, "What about all the other entertainment industries that are already near residential areas?? What, you want us to just tear them all down?! I think the residents themselves should move if they hate the noise so much and go live on a farm!" [option]

Results: Residents opposed to noise are living on farms.
Stats: economy stable, population down

3. "Yo thats like, so not right guy. What'll I do after school if I lose my arcade man? I need to meet some chicks like this one over here." @@RANDOMNAME@@ says, pointing to a fellow teen beside him.
"Like please people, as if you didn't ruin OUR lives enough. Like I SO need to go shopping for like EVERYTHIHG. Like taking it away will be like, killer. Like, what am I going to do at night? Like, clubbing of course. How will I like, so meet people? Like duh? Like totally against it." @@RANDOMNAME@@, says flipping her hair. [option]

Can't use genders with randomname, otherwise you get names like Max Utopia to go with a "her" :p .

Results: Entertainment is here to stay. PAN members are angry and causes havoc targeting the entertainment centres and teenagers.
Stats: Happiness up, education down

No punctuation or capital letters in stats.

So it's a good idea, it just needs some minor technical changes.

oO...thanks;)

so anyone know how to get it to the guys that edit and read this to make it an actual issue?

You need to have a population of 500 million or greater first...since you have 237 million population, you have to wait around 1 1/2 months. Then you can submit it from the issues page.

heres the edited version

@@NAME@@ decides:

The Sound off

The Issue

Residents living near popular entertainment centres created People Against Noise (PAN). This issue finally catches attention from money making entertainment giants including @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@.

The Debate

1. [option]"This NOISE must stop!" cries a PAN member,@@RANDOMNAME@@, "We simple MUST ban this noise making! We cannot sleep, concentrate, or even live in peace! What about the children?! Every day and night they go to these places and neglect their education! This cannot go on, I propse to create a law that does not allow entertainment centres to go within 50 km of a neighborhood."

[effect]all entertainment industries within 50 km of a neighbourhood must be taken down and the law is enforced.
[stats]civil freedoms down, happiness down, economy down

2. [option]"That's completely insane!" @@RANDOMNAME@@, President of @@NAME@@ @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ Co. says, "What about all the other entertainment industries that are already near residential areas?? What, you want us to just tear them all down?! I think the residents themselves should move if they hate the noise so much and go live on a farm!"

[effect]residents opposed to noise are living on farms.
[stats]economy stable, population down

3. [option]"Yo thats like, so not right guy. What'll I do after school if I lose my arcade man? I need to meet some chicks like this one over here." @@NAME@@ says, pointing to a fellow teen beside him.
"Like please people, as if you didn't ruin OUR lives enough. Like I SO need to go shopping for like EVERYTHIHG. Like taking it away will be like, killer. Like, what am I going to do at night? Like, clubbing of course. How will I like, so meet people? Like duh? Like totally against it." @@NAME@@, says flipping her hair.

[effect]entertainment is here to stay. PAN members are angry and causes havoc targeting the entertainment centres and teenagers.
[stats]happiness up, education down

The Government Position


If you wish, you may simply dismiss this issue


@@SLOGAN@@