NationStates Jolt Archive

TITLE: None yet

Description: After the high profile court case of a local farmer who was locked up after trying to guard his land from an invasion of caravans, there have been calls for the government to crack down on travellers.

Validity: Valid for all

Options:
[option] "These Pikies just rolled onto my field and camped out," says the enraged farmer @@RANDOMNAME@@. "And when I try to run 'em over with my tractor, I get stuck in the cells overnight. If Travellers enter private land, then the owner of that land should be allowed to do whatever he or she must to get them off."
[effect] Travellers are violently evicted off land by pitchfork wielding madmen
[stats] civil rights decrease, law & order funding decreases

[option] "Hey, we need somewhere to stay," claims @@RANDOMNAME@@, a 45 year old Traveller, parent of 14 children. "We have a right to somewhere to stay at night, and we should be allowed to camp on any piece of land for as long as we want. The police should be there, in fact, to protect us from these lunatic landowners."
[effect] the public constantly fear turning up at home to find a group of caravans in their gardens
[stats] civil rights increase, law & order funding increases, automobile manufacturing increases

[option] "Granted, these peoples have to have somewhere to stay," admits @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of your advisors, "But why should it be at the expense of the hard-working public? The government should buy plots of land, all over the country, and turn them into nice safe areas where these folks can stay, free of charge, for a few days at a time. It might set us back a few @@CURRENCY@@s, but it'll stop both sides complaining, don't you think?"
[effect] the government has set up a string of 'Traveller camps' across the country
[stats] social welfare funding increases, civil rights increase, taxes increase

[option] "I have the best solution," shouts radical spokesperson @@RANDOMNAME@@ through your open window, "These Gypsies, should chucked in gaol, and their caravans sold for scrap. People should live in bricks and mortar, not tins on wheels!"
[effect] the government has cracked down on all Travellers
[stats] civil rights decrease, law & order funding increases

We already have an issue on something similar, I think.

We already have an issue on something similar, I think.

I couldn't see one, on the list, but if you point me to it then...

'local farmer who' (no comma)
maybe 'travellers' instead of 'Gypsies: the former is not racial, and can refer to New Age types as well as Romanies
'These Pikies just' (no comma); you also may not need a comma in 'field and camped out'
if you are going to use Gypsies/gypsies, use all upper case, or all lower case.: whichever, be consistent, and don't mix and match.
'that land should be' (no comma)
'whatever he must' (not gender-specific)
'off land by' (no comma)
and now Gyptian? I think you need to pick one, and stick with it: and I think 'traveller' (or 'traveler' in American?) is best
'admits @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of' (comma)
'free of charge, for a few' (comma)
@@CURRENCY@@ needs to be pluralised, I think (a few dollar?): so @@CURRENCY@@s
again, maybe 'traveler camps'
'through', not 'thourgh'


I'm not sure there is one about this - I certainly can't find it - but I think it's actually quite a good idea. Most of the comments I've made are very minor, and mostly to do with comma use, which is always a bit arguable anyway.

I think the effects are broadly good, although 2 and 3 are a bit dull. Also, why would a left-wing radical say 4? I would have thought a right-winger would be more likely, but maybe just 'a radical' would be better.

I think the effects are broadly good, although 2 and 3 are a bit dull.

I tried to think of some more interesting effects, but didn't come up with any. Any ideas?

Also cheers, for the corrections.

Some of the choices only do good things, some of them only do bad things. A good issue needs all choices to have some Pros, and some Cons. If you want your issue to be accepted, change that. I am not trying to put your idea down, I am just trying to give some constructive criticism.

Some of the choices only do good things, some of them only do bad things. A good issue needs all choices to have some Pros, and some Cons. If you want your issue to be accepted, change that. I am not trying to put your idea down, I am just trying to give some constructive criticism.

That's one of the bits I was having trouble with, and hence why I put it here. If anyone has any ideas, for alterations to the stats, please tell me.