NationStates Jolt Archive


The evil knives!

The Kea
15-07-2005, 19:39
Pointed Comments in @@NAME@@

After a small boy was stabbed to death with a machete, the media have all jumped for a ban on knives.

[option]"This is outrageous! We must get rid of these nasty things at once!" advises director of civil docility @@RANDOMNAME@@. "And that way we can also make it even more impossible for them to rebel. So this will be an excellent time to introduce mandatory drug testing once a week. It'll help two birds with one rock!"
[effect]people are frequently arrested for carrying pocket knives during their mandatory drug tests
[stats]happiness decreases, economy decreases, crime increases, political apathy decreases, government control increases

[option]"What?! Stabbed to death with a machete?! That's impossible!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, president of the National Knife Association. "The liberals must have faked this to get knives banned. This is just proof of how desperate they are! Instead, we must take it the other way and legalize all weapons, no matter how powerful. And none of those giant forms to fill out!"
[effect]WMDs are available to all
[stats]happiness increases, economy increases, government control decreases

[option]A guy with a shaved head wearing a wife beater suddenly enters the debate. "No! That would cause chaos in the streets and many people like me would lose their jobs! It's not the people's job to protect themselves. The government does that. We must ban anything that could be used as a weapon! And anyway, the cops aren't very good at protecting people, so we could do without most of them."
[effect]it is impossible to walk a block without being mugged
[stats]happiness ceases to exist, economy implodes, government control decreases, crime explodes

[option]"Hey, we can't ban knives, can we?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, owner of "Knife City", a popular superstore that sells nothing but knives. "I could make it worth your while not to. I'm always making special deals for people. Why, just today I advertised that if you buy nine knives, you can get the tenth for just one penny. I'm sure I can set up something for you."
[effect]all of the government officials have large knife collections
[stats]corruption increases, economy increases
The Kea
16-07-2005, 19:00
Well? Does anyone want to comment?
Hamanistan
16-07-2005, 19:08
Its a clear sign....the boy was a victim of....well yes....Jason is back!!!
Nyuujaku
17-07-2005, 07:55
Machetes generally have either rounded or flat tips. They're meant for hacking and slashing, not stabbing.
Mythila
17-07-2005, 08:12
You'd think legalizing machine guns would make crime explode. "People are mowed down in the streets daily"...
Euroslavia
17-07-2005, 19:45
Validity: Nations that have banned guns.

At first glance, this is the only thing I could see as a problem, because of the fact that knives are still around, whether guns are banned or not, and this instance could occur at anytime.
The Kea
17-07-2005, 19:45
But all the guys who start gunning people down will get gunned down too. And apparently Nyuujaku didn't read the whole issue.

Strange that Euroslavia posted at the exact same time that I did. Anyway, I don't think a nation would ban knives before banning guns.
Euroslavia
17-07-2005, 20:17
But all the guys who start gunning people down will get gunned down too. And apparently Nyuujaku didn't read the whole issue.

Strange that Euroslavia posted at the exact same time that I did. Anyway, I don't think a nation would ban knives before banning guns.

The fact of the matter is that even if guns aren't banned, someone can still go around and stab someone. Guns have nothing to do with it. That's the point I'm trying to get across.