The Eternal Kawaii
27-04-2005, 23:36
Today's issue put before the government of the Theocracy of the Eternal Kawaii was for the appointment of our Our government's new "spiritual advisor." We were offered three candidates:
1. Catholic Archbishop Chastity Mistletoe: boasts an excellent track record, having rapidly increased church attendances in his constituencies through the "Reaching God Through Guilt" program. Seen as a solid choice.
2. New Age thinker Anne-Marie Fellow: a left-field candidate with some radical ideas. "For me, it's not about the name of your religion. It's about discovering your spirituality in whatever guise that takes. Some people call that a cult: I call it taking spirituality to the people."
3. Finally, there's Steffan Wall. "If I am awarded the appointment, I will immediately resign," the ex-schoolteacher has declared. "Because, frankly, God is a big load of hokey. I'll be doing everyone a favor by just shutting up about it."
After looking them over, We have decided that none are an acceptable choice. The first is represents an alien religion We do not wish to encourage in Our nation, the second offers some kind of "do it yourself" spirituality that would distract the citizenry from the teachings of Our nation's established church, and the third is an avowed atheist, a totally inappropriate choice all around.
Currently We are thinking of dismissing the issue, but since religious affairs are of important concern to Our government, can we be sure this will be readdressed later, and hopefully with more palatable choices?
1. Catholic Archbishop Chastity Mistletoe: boasts an excellent track record, having rapidly increased church attendances in his constituencies through the "Reaching God Through Guilt" program. Seen as a solid choice.
2. New Age thinker Anne-Marie Fellow: a left-field candidate with some radical ideas. "For me, it's not about the name of your religion. It's about discovering your spirituality in whatever guise that takes. Some people call that a cult: I call it taking spirituality to the people."
3. Finally, there's Steffan Wall. "If I am awarded the appointment, I will immediately resign," the ex-schoolteacher has declared. "Because, frankly, God is a big load of hokey. I'll be doing everyone a favor by just shutting up about it."
After looking them over, We have decided that none are an acceptable choice. The first is represents an alien religion We do not wish to encourage in Our nation, the second offers some kind of "do it yourself" spirituality that would distract the citizenry from the teachings of Our nation's established church, and the third is an avowed atheist, a totally inappropriate choice all around.
Currently We are thinking of dismissing the issue, but since religious affairs are of important concern to Our government, can we be sure this will be readdressed later, and hopefully with more palatable choices?