NationStates Jolt Archive

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/frisbeeteria/split_sm.jpg from NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT** Sticky


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number 151

Build Bigger Bombs, Advise Scientists

The Issue
Top military designers in your secret laboratories have proposed projects to create nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons and are looking to you for government support and funding.

The Debate
"This is a necessary step towards the creation of a safer @@NAME@@," claims @@RANDOMNAME@@, the leading researcher. "Yes, it will mean a large areas of land will become unusable as a result of the testing, and it will cost billions of flessendops, but that's the price we must pay for our national security. Just think of the power we will have if we can turn our enemies into plate glass!"



"Why stop with making weapons for ourselves?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of Wendy's Weapons stores. "We can sell them to all sorts of groups and organisations: other nations, the UN, terror- uh - freedom fighters, anyone! And we produce our own for our protection. Think of the money we can make! I'm sure none of our clients would ever even think of trying to use them to influence our government with threats or anything like that!"



"You want to bring NUKES into @@NAME@@?!" screams anti-nuclear protestor, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "This won't make us safer - it will just give the power to destroy everything to a few people! We must hunt down the people who suggested this evil plan and have them hanged! We must protect nature from the horrible influences of science. I say ban all new weapons research!"


Issue by: Benevolent nations
Editor: Sirocco

number 152

A Capital Idea

The Issue
A crowd of penniless ex-businessmen have amassed in @@NAME@@'s capital city, demanding that the government return all the nationalised industry to private control.

The Debate
"GREED IS GOOD!" bellows @@RANDOMNAME@@, a famous advocate of capitalism. "The economy is stagnating terribly under government control. Complete privatisation is the only option here. It's time to give power back to the people! Well, rich people, anyway..."

"This it outrageous!" cries armchair revolutionary, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The government must maintain the principles of equality and socialism that we fought so hard for, and not sell the country to corrupt and greedy corporations. We must eject these shameful capitalists from our great nation at once!"

"Hey, aren't we all being a little extreme about this?" says noted economist, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Surely we could just keep the key industries, such as the electricity and water supplies, under government control and lessen the regulations on the others so they could function more independently? That way, the people can't complain that they are at the mercy of big business, and industries such as retail can function more effectively."

Issue by: The Republic of Hestrael
Editor: Sirocco

:sniper: :mp5: :gundge: We are a smalll country planning to take over the world.

thanks for sticking my issue up here HC Eredivisie
saved me a bit of time!

#153: Protesters Have Gone Too Far, Claim Police

The Issue
A group protesting against the Progressive Hash government began a riot yesterday which resulted in the death of Mr. Benson, a police officer.

The Debate
"This is an outrage!" cries Police Chief @@randomname@@ "The people of @@name@@ just don't know how good they have it! Our nation is a gem compared to many others, but if you give an inch they will take a mile. I had to tell officer Benson's wife yesterday that their child will grow up without a father. Do I think public protests should be outlawed? You're damn right I do."
[Accept]


"It all happened so fast," says @@randomname@@, one of the protesters. "The crowd was just chanting, you know... and then they tear gassed us. I saw one cop, this Mr. Benson, club a teenager right in the face! For what? Speaking his mind! That's when the crowd rushed him. I'm sorry he's dead, but the police think they have a right to do whatever they want - things get out of hand sometimes. I think the police department should keep out of the way when we're protesting - even if things do get... excited."
[Accept]


"It's because protests get out of hand sometimes that we need a police presence," argues PC @@randomname@@ eventually after singing the national anthem to you. "Even violent protestors have a right to feel safe on the streets. If that means we have to die to protect the innocent, then that means we have to die. I think protests should be restricted to a designated area where police can keep an eye on the protestors. Then everything can go nice and smoothly and no one will have to worry about being beaten to death."

Issue by: The Floating Islands of Utopian Gandhism
Editor: Sirocco

I have to smirk at the skateboarding issue.

Why?

Because in Cape May City, NJ, just such a debate raged and skateboarding is now banned, period. In fact you can get a ticket for just skateboarding down the street.

The reasons given for the banning are those that are presented in the issue, as was the opposing view.

THis leads me to ask if "HappyFluffyBunnies" lives in South(ern New) Jersey near Cape May.

Regarding Robbers' Rights

The Issue
The Household Defence Alliance is lobbying for the right to kill anyone who trespasses on private property.

The Debate
"We must take a stand against burglars and looters entering our property," explains HDA President, @@RANDOMNAME@@, while digging a moat around her house. "We should be able to rip their guts out with a machine gun, no questions asked. If they want rights they should have considered the poor sod they were robbing."

"Even burglars have human rights," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, while theiving a @@CURRENCY@@ from your pocket. "And we don't deserve to be shot for trying to make our way in the world. People are far more important than property, I hope you agree! Why attack a burglar? That's the job of the coppers! I think anyone injuring anyone else should be severely punished with no excuses about trespassers or defending your property. Or yourself."


"Hey, let's not be hasty!" cautions @@RANDOMNAME@@, an anti-gun protester. "I'm not for riddling burglars with bullets either, but I do want to protect my family! I think it would be a lot more sensible if we allowed homeowners to attack burglars, but not with guns. In fact it would be even better if we just banned guns while we're at it."


Issue by: The Blatant Advertising of Robmuirpoems
Editor: Sirocco

Should Democracy be Compulsory?

The Issue
In response to a slow news week, certain highbrow newspapers have stirred up the debate over voluntary vs compulsory voting.

The Debate
"Compulsory voting makes about as much as sense as having the death penalty for attempted suicide," says civil rights activist @name@. "You can't force people to be free! You can only give them the choice. Besides, if all those derelicts who can't be bothered to get off their ass once every few years voted, who would they elect? I shudder to think."

"It's not contradictory at all," argues political commentator @name@. "The fact is, if not everyone votes, the outcome isn't truly representative. Some groups--like elderly gun nuts--vote more often than others. That's why always we always end up with such terrible politicians."

"This raises an interesting issue," says @name@, your brother. "And that is: why do we need elections, anyway? Seems to me it would be much simpler if you just decided what was right, and did it. Wouldn't that save everyone a lot of time?"

Issue 0 is already known :/ check the list of issues before posting here...

Regarding Robbers' Rights

no excuses about trespassers or defending your property. Or yourself."


"Hey, let's not be hasty!" cautions @@RANDOMNAME@@, an anti-gun protester. "I'm not for riddling burglars with bullets either, but I do want to protect my family! I think it would be a lot more sensible if we allowed homeowners to attack burglars, but not with guns. In fact it would be even better if we just banned guns while we're at it."


Issue by: The Blatant Advertising of Robmuirpoems
Editor: Sirocco

Thats a good one I wonder why I haven't seen it yet. It'd make you think twice about getting your ball from someones garden...

Regarding Robbers' Rights

The Issue
The Household Defence Alliance is lobbying for the right to kill anyone who trespasses on private property.

The Debate
"We must take a stand against burglars and looters entering our property," explains HDA President, @@RANDOMNAME@@, while digging a moat around her house. "We should be able to rip their guts out with a machine gun, no questions asked. If they want rights they should have considered the poor sod they were robbing."

This is issue #158, and has been added now as well.
One modification though: "Catherine Gratwick" is a hardcoded name, not a @@RANDOMNAME@@.

Is this on purpose or error? Am I supposed to know someone named Catherine Gratwick? Is this someone an admin or mod knows? Is it a clue to the question of whether or not [violet] is Max Barry? (oops, wrong thread ;) ) Are the initials a reference to CG (Crazy Girl) ? If so, what does it mean? (other than the obvious one that the mods are conspiring against us all and laughing at us from the relative safety of Forum 7) :D

Ballotonia

*Just edited #80, maybe now someone will get it.*

*Just edited #80, maybe now someone will get it.*

Oooh! Must go to two issues a day! :)

Oooh! Must go to two issues a day! :)

What's the validity of this issue?

#163

[SUOTE]Referendums: Are they Right For @@NAME@@?

The Issue
After the Parliament of @@NAME@@ recently passed a controversial law that polls have shown to be very unpopular with the public, a group of concerned citizens has called for mandatory referendums for all laws passed before the state.

The Debate
"We want real democracy, and we want it now!" proclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, spokesperson for special interest group 'Direct Democracy Now!' "The fact that this latest law went through has proven that voting for a Parliament every four years is obviously not enough. Laws must be passed by the masses - that is the only way we can be sure that the will of the people is truly being enforced! We must have mandatory referendums for ALL new laws."
[Accept]


"Don't listen to these demagogues!" implores one of your top advisors, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "This is a ridiculous and dangerous idea! Referendums are costly and inefficient, and a direct threat to our fine institution that is the Parliament. What do you think we have the Parliament for anyway? Our citizenry nowadays don't know what's good for them. They're too busy milling around at the mall and buying sneakers WITH LIGHTS IN THEM. More control needs to be given to our qualified, intelligent--and most of all INFORMED--politicians."
[Accept]


"Referendums are a good idea in principle, but to make them mandatory for each and every law is simply impractical," states Political Scientist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Representative democracy exists because direct democracy would never work in practice in a large society such as @@NAME@@. Just think of all the bureaucracy and expense that would go into it! I suggest that referendums be allowed, but only if at least a third of voters sign a petition requesting one. That should be a nice balance between democracy and practicality."
[Accept]

Issue by: The Democratic Republic of Ideal State
Editor: Melkor Unchained [/QUOTE]

I found number 80!!!!


Easter Egg: Aliens Wish Peace/Trade Agreement
The Issue

Aliens have landed in the fieds of Pallor and they wish to trade and have peace.
The Debate

1. "Take us to your kneader!" says Uw ydderf, alien lawyer. "We have heard wonders of Pallor's pizza, and must have it. We are certain that a valuable trade route can be set up between our peoples. You could have our first born, for example." Your Secretary of Trade is shocked, "First Born?! That's slavery!" but quickly calms down upon discovery that their young are considered a great delicacy there. "You know, maybe we should open up trade with them?"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

2. The Coalition of No ETs wants you to stay out of this. Buy Washington says "Them darn aliens thingies are going to take advantage of the situation an kill us all! You must ban all trade with them. If they want my cattle, it will be over my dead body!"
[Accept]

The Government Position

The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1.

If you wish, you may simply dismiss this issue.

Issue by: Exiled
Editor: SalusaSecondus

*Just edited #80, maybe now someone will get it.*What is special about Pallor (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=Pallor) that made them qualify for an Egg? Something to do with these stats, maybe?Civil Rights: Frightening
Economy: Powerhouse
Political Freedoms: Corrupted

I thought it was just an issue and not an Egg.

What is special about Pallor (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=Pallor) that made them qualify for an Egg? Something to do with these stats, maybe?

Hmmm. An anarchy with a space program... I'm gonna try that one ;)

EDIT: might require a good pizza sector as well...

Ballotonia

*Wonders if he should mention that the alien's name isn't hard-coded8

Hehe. :D

*Wonders if he should mention that the alien's name isn't hard-coded8

New tag, like @@REVERSENAME@@ or someting?

Ballotonia

What is special about Pallor (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=Pallor) that made them qualify for an Egg? Something to do with these stats, maybe?

If that's so, then why hasn't my other nation, Impending Damnation, received it?

Check the title of Pallor: The Distant Shadow of Pallor

New tag, like @@REVERSENAME@@ or someting?
@@Reverse-what-kind-of-name@@, Ballotonia? [ Freddy Wu ] appears nowhere in the text of Pallor's description. Unless it's his registered email address or Sal has somehow coded the game's vast psychic powers to derive player names from the IP address, it's not a pre-exisiting variable.

I'm guessing it's actually Sal's cosplay character name.

Fris: @@RANDOMNAME@@: Combination (2365) of random first and random last name. Possibilities are:
First names, 55: Aaron, Abraham, Akira, Al, Alexei, Anne-Marie, Beth, Bianca, Bill, Billy, Billy-Bob, Buffy, Buy, Calvin, Charles, Chastity, Clint, Colin, Dave, Elizabeth, Faith, Falala, Fleur, Freddy, George W., Gregory, Hack, Hope, Jack, Jazz, Jean-Paul, Jennifer, Johan, Klaus, Konrad, Lars, Max, May, Melbourne, Miranda, Naki, Peggy, Pete, Pip, Prudence, Randy, Roger, Roxanne, Steffan, Stephanie, Sue-Ann, Thomas, Tobias, Violet, Zeke.
Last Names, 43: Barry, Broadside, Bush, Chicago, Christmas, Clinton, Dodinas, Dredd, du Pont, Falopian, Fellow, Frederickson, Hamilton, Hanover, Hendrikson, Jefferson, Jones, Jong-Il, King, Li, Licorish, Longbottom, Longfellow, Love, McAlpin, McGuffin, Mistletoe, Mombota, Nagasawa, O'Bannon, Rifkin, Shiomi, Silk, Spirit, Steele, Summers, Thiesen, Trax, Utopia, Washington, Winters, Wong, Wu.

i'll change my pretitle to see it that's a qualification

I liked my cosplay theory better

yo, Pallor is doing something right cause hes got two ester eggs check his stats

yo, Pallor is doing something right cause hes got two ester eggs check his stats
Well, once I got issue 80, it was fairly simple to get the other egg - put holy in your pretitle if you have a pop above 1 billion. (and people, I'm a she)

As for my stats, I've been an Anarchy for almost my entire life. I was trying to get Frightening/Frightening/Corrupted, but obviously I've abondoned that in favor of keeing the eggs in my description...

@@RANDOMNAME@@: Combination (2365) of random first and random last name. Possibilities are:
First names, 55: Aaron, Abraham, Akira, Al, Alexei, Anne-Marie, Beth, Bianca, Bill, Billy, Billy-Bob, Buffy, Buy, Calvin, Charles, Chastity, Clint, Colin, Dave, Elizabeth, Faith, Falala, Fleur, Freddy, George W., Gregory, Hack, Hope, Jack, Jazz, Jean-Paul, Jennifer, Johan, Klaus, Konrad, Lars, Max, May, Melbourne, Miranda, Naki, Peggy, Pete, Pip, Prudence, Randy, Roger, Roxanne, Steffan, Stephanie, Sue-Ann, Thomas, Tobias, Violet, Zeke.

No John? How could you include the names of all main characters from Jennifer Government but omit John? According to the fact that tere are even two Johns he has twice the right to appear. :mad: :D
(OK, Johan is in fact the same name, but not really our John.)

Does anyone know what those issues that were taken out of circulation were about?

Does anyone know what those issues that were taken out of circulation were about?

They were duplicate issues, the same issues as the ones above. It was a system error causing the issues to be entered twice.

Ballotonia

Excuse me if this is addressed elsewhere, but as a new nationstate, I'm a little lost in this intricacies of the website;

Is there a way to see the exact [effect] and [stats] for each new issue?* I joined NationStates in order to gain a better, less biased idea of political issues and it would be nice to see the exact effect behind the humourous jargon. :)

*As in:
[option]"Compulsory voting makes about as much as sense as
having the death penalty for attempted suicide," says civil
rights activist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "You can't force
people to be free! You can only give them the choice.
Besides, if all those derelicts who can't be bothered to
get off their ass once every few years voted, who would
they elect? I shudder to think."
[effect]voting is voluntary
[stats]political freedom increases, public apathy increases

Thank-you.
~delegates from the Theocracy of Hypocrise

No, there isn't. Only the admin, I, and a few of the other GMs, know exactly what each issue does.

Well, once I got issue 80, it was fairly simple to get the other egg - put holy in your pretitle if you have a pop above 1 billion. (and people, I'm a she)

As for my stats, I've been an Anarchy for almost my entire life. I was trying to get Frightening/Frightening/Corrupted, but obviously I've abondoned that in favor of keeing the eggs in my description...

thanks and sory for my ignorance

Does anyone know what those issues that were taken out of circulation were about?

ill do you one better here thay are numbers 132 &134

OOC#132: Raise Duel Standards, Say Fencers [The Gaelic Freedmen;
ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
A number of well-dressed gentlemen wearing a varied assortment of swords is insisting that they be allowed to settle their private disputes on the field of honourable battle.

The Debate
1. "We must be permitted our inherent right to defend our honour through feats of arms!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, a bewigged aristocrat sporting a particularly flamboyant swept-hilt rapier. "The right to duel is one found throughout history for the honourable settling of disputes and I must insist that my right to fight be recognised! The world would be so much better - and cheaper too - if conflicts of interest were sorted through trial by combat instead of trial by jury."

2. "Swords? Heavens, what dreadful things. All sharp and pointy - quite dangerous, you know," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an ardent pacifist. "The things ought to be banned! The best way to settle these kind of arguments are through trials, we all know that. If we go ahead with what these duelling nutters want then innocent people will die! It will be a sad day when people value money more than justice. Apart from lawyers, obviously."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
OOC#134: When @@ANIMAL@@s attack! [The Class A Cows; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
After several reports of pet @@ANIMAL@@s violently attacking, injuring, and even killing citizens, there has been growing pressure from public safety activists for the government to take action.

The Debate
1. "These creatures are a danger to the public and must be destroyed!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, representative of the Public Institution for Social Safety, Equality, and Direction. "I was attacked by one just on the way here and I nearly lost my life! They're a public menace. We must shoot and burn them!"

2. "Why punish the poor things?" asks animal-lover @@RANDOMNAME@@, covered in scars from previous encounters with @@ANIMAL@@s. "All they need is good hands to care and rehabilitate them. We need a government education programme to tame them and turn them into loveable pets. The one I'm holding right now shows that it can be done. They are all good, kind creatures deep d- argh!"

3. "I agree that we shouldn't kill them," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a famous lawyer. "But I don't think the owner should get away with breaking the law! This is clearly a case of 'intent to greviously harm' if I ever saw it. All citizens should be held accountable of their pet's actions as if they had done the act themselves. It's the only way to be fair - after all, they're just dumb animals."

4. "Who cares!?" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@ as he sends out his pirate radio station broadcast. "Just repeal any laws preventing us from shooting the things when they attack and we'll be able to save ourselves without this stupid, authoritarian, overbearing government and legal system wasting our tax money!"

Well... dang.
Although, I suppose it's probably the point of the "game" to figure that out for myself. :)

New Issues have dried up over the past two months. Is anyone still reading submitted issues or are they yet to encounter a non-atrocious one?

I got the dueling one yesterday.

I got the dueling one yesterday.

That one isn't new.

The reason there's been no new issues recently is because some strange bug affected the editing page and buggered up all my files. Admin is looking into it.

Is there an issue that can do away with Compulsory Military Service? I've got an idea for an highlighting that.

Does anyone know what happens if you don't pull the lever?

Also, is there more than the two Easter eggs?

i have soooooooooooooooooooooo much homework :mad: :headbang:

also,socialism kicks ass! except when they dont have an military.

The reason there's been no new issues recently is because some strange bug affected the editing page and buggered up all my files. Admin is looking into it.

Has the editing page been debugged?

Has the editing page been debugged?

Yeah, quite obvious as there've been new issues since #132 and #134.

The bug affecting issues #132 and #134 has been resolved a long time ago. Sirocco is refering to a different bug.

Ballotonia

Has the editing page been debugged?

No, not yet.

Ballotonia, how did you get all the information on all of the issues? Did you get all of them? That seems unlikely, so I'm assuming you had some inside source...

Ballotonia, how did you get all the information on all of the issues? Did you get all of them? That seems unlikely, so I'm assuming you had some inside source...
i think its based on a bunch of old threads were a bunch of people posted the issues recieved

Ballotonia, how did you get all the information on all of the issues? Did you get all of them? That seems unlikely, so I'm assuming you had some inside source...

Using a large number of nations, I got almost all of them myself. Only exception is the second easter egg. Ofcourse, often someone posts the issue in this thread prior to me receiving it, allowing me to add it more quickly to the list than I otherwise would have.

Ballotonia

number 166 (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7832911&postcount=1)
what happened to number 165?

edit: number 165 (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7836141&postcount=6)

seems there are new last names.

#167 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7841301&postcount=10)

#166

"None of the Above" For President of Rejistania!

A loose coalition of political activists running the gamut of the political spectrum has started a petition to add "None of the Above" as an option on every ballot, so that a voter can reject all candidates if he feels none of them represent a viable option. If "None of the Above" wins the election, a new election with all-new candidates would have to be held.

The Debate

"It's a simple matter really," says left-wing activist and former rock star Beth Steele, "Sometimes when you're voting, all the options suck. Why then should people be forced to hold their nose and vote for the lesser of two, or even three or four evils? Adding 'None of the Above' to the ballot would ensure that the people have a choice at all times, even if that choice is to reject the choices they have been given!"


"Adding 'None of the Above' to the ballot makes absolutely no sense," contributes conservative political pundit Bianca Gutenberg. "Those who want to run for office have already put their names on the ballot, and if none of those options suits the voter, that's just too bad. Instead, we ought to prevent this sort of problem and limit the number of options. Sure, less people can run, but that will eliminate costly runoff elections completely!"

Issue by: The Soviet Socialist Republics of Kamikachidonia
Editor: Reploid Productions

yay for Reppy

pssst Rej: I already linked to 166 ;)

pssst Rej: I already linked to 166 ;)

well, why did you link when it is absolutely impossible to see the black links in black text? I don't move my mouse above every piece of text and it was not on the first page yet and it was 3 am when I posted that.

BTW: Don't call me Rej, I am Rejis!

sorry Rejis, and the link is underlined ;)

seems there are new last names.

The names "Cyril Duckworth" and "Edwin Namel" seem to be hard-coded, not part of the @@RANDOMNAME@@ macro. Or were you refering to something else?


Issues #165-#167 have been added to the list. Thank you all!

Ballotonia

Refering to this (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=385989)

Interestingly, the 3 names all have last names that aren't on Ballo's list. My 3 names are: Billy Gutenberg, Cyril Duckworth, and Buffy Rubin. So maybe last names have been added as well? I'm going to assume they're random names.

It appears the second one, Cyril Duckworth, is hardcoded. The other two change when you review the issue. Maybe Sirocco forgot to do a RandomName in the 2nd one?
both posts by Erastide.

After a small fishing expedition, I came up with the following new First/Last randomname elements:

First names: Larry, Samuel, Johann (was: Johan)
Last namesa: Gutenberg, Johnson, Rubin, Wall

There's always a possibility I'm missing one or more, but that would be statistically unlikely. (since it's random, all I can go by is statistics)

Ballotonia

#168 @@NAME@@ Plagued by STD Epidemic!


A medical report has detailed a 20-fold increase in infection rates over the past 10 years of the sexually transmitted disease VODAIS (Viral Overactive Dysfunction of the Auto-Immune System). People all over the nation are petitioning that the government do something about the epidemic.


"This situation is about to explode. At this rate, this epidemic could severely impact our economy, our way of life, and even our government." says Doctor @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We must supply powerful drugs to all infected people, even if we have to produce and distribute it ourselves. We must also educate people on the dangers of VODAIS and supply condoms to all sexually active males. Sure, we'll need to divert tax money from the military to fund all this, but what good is a military if the soldiers are too sick to fight?"



"If you supply condoms, you'll increase sexual promiscuity," scoffs religious leader @@RANDOMNAME@@. "If you supply drugs, you'll risk creating an aura of invincibility which in turn increases sexual promiscuity. Sexual abstinence is 100% effective in preventing VODAIS infection. This knowledge must be taught at all schools and workplaces, and all other choices must be ridiculed. Make celibacy the only option!."



"Supplying drugs and condoms will not stop VODAIS infections and forcing everyone to be celibate will be the slow death of @@NAME@@," whispers Health Minister @@RANDOMNAME@@ in a poorly-lit back room. "Segregating the infected people is the most effective method. Everybody in Rejistania must be tested for VODAIS. Then all the VODAIS positive people will be shipped to seperate gated communities away from the rest of us. If they need to mingle with uninfected people, then they must wear distinguishing badges that feature a Grim Reaper holding a skeletal @@ANIMAL@@."



Issue by: The Democratic Republic of Eta Carinae
Editor: Reploid Productions

#169
@@ANIMAL@@ Hunting Laws Under Dispute

The fierce debate on @@ANIMAL@@ hunting in @@NAME@@ has been brought to your attention after vociferous supporters of both sides of the argument stormed your parliament.

1. "@@ANIMAL@@ hunting is a cruel and horrible 'sport' for the wealthy," says @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the 'Protect Anything Cute and Furry Society'. "How can you possibly justify it? Oh, they witter on about 'tradition' and 'pest control' and other such nonsense, but really we all know it's because these sadists love to torture poor, innocent animals! Hunting must be banned!"

2. "Banning @@ANIMAL@@ hunting would be the end for centuries of tradition!" wails esteemed aristocrat @@RANDOMNAME@@ from atop his steed. "The thrill of the chase, the baying of the hounds, the red-tailed hawk scooting through the undergrowth - it would be a travesty! We provide much needed stimulus to the local tourism, and you can't deny that red-tailed hawks are pests - killing farmers' livestock for example! I propose that red-tailed hawk hunting be encouraged, for the cultural - and economic - benefit of the nation!"

3. "Well, you know what I think?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, while helping to assemble a small trebuchet. "I reckon that the real issue about this sport is the cruelty aspect, and no-one can deny that sending a pack of dogs to tear apart a poor, innocent red-tailed hawk is cruel. I reckon we should just ban hunting with hounds and only allow kinder and more instantly lethal methods like guns, tranquillisers, and cruise missiles."

4. "I'm firmly against the slaughter of dumb animals," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, while feeding an infant red-tailed hawk with a milk bottle. "It would be best if the animals didn't die, and hunters could still do what they love to do - how about instead of shooting them or sending vicious canines after them, the hunter runs up to his quarry and gives it a symbolic 'tap' with his hand? Now isn't that much nicer for everyone?"

Issue by: The People's Republic of Vigorithia
Editor: Sirocco

#170
Deserts Devouring @@NATION@@'s Countryside

Due to desertification, the transition of habitable land to desert as a result of overcultivation and the increasing degradation of the environment, much of @@NAME@@'s once-green rural areas are turning into barren, rocky deserts.

1. "This is a disaster," wails @@NAME@@, your Minister of the Environment. "We've been too lax on letting the agriculture sector overgraze and overcrop our lands and now we're paying the price. There needs to be some serious cutback on what these companies are allowed to do, or before you know it we're going to be scaling sand dunes on the way to work."

2. "'Ey there, you stupid townie, what about us?" shouts Farmer's Union Leader @@NAME@@, waving a pitchfork from atop a combine harvester parked outside. "We's just goin' t' be tole we're out of a job? Tha' best way t' goes about this is t' promote stuff like that there recyclin', crop rotatin', an' biodiversity, and t' gives us tha' subsidies we needs t' work in 'armony wi' mother nature. Desertification ain't no irreversible thing, an' claimin' tha' land back will be slow and bloody expensive, by thunder. But oi'm sure tha' taxpayers will be more than 'appy t' aid us 'umble farmers in our plight, and maybe gives us a little more say in things in future, so's this can't 'appen again."

3. "Yee-haw, these here deserts are the greatest thang that's happened in YARS!" drawls noted cowboy Hamish McGraw, twirling his shootin' irons. "This is just what @@NAME@@ needs! Just git a stagecoach out har an tha' foreign types will come a-flockin,' y'all see if ah'm wrong! We don't need no fundin' f' tha' environment! Them's farmers c'n jus' git minin' fer GOLD!"

Issue by: The Liberal Unitary Republic of Goobergunchia :D
Editor: Sirocco

Congratulations Goob!!!

Ballotonia

In 169, is "red-tailed hawk" hardcoded?

In 169, is "red-tailed hawk" hardcoded?

Nope, it's your national animal.

#171

Kids and Criminality - Whose Responsibility?
The Issue

Recent studies showing that the sources of @@NAME@@'s most common street crimes (vandalism, muggings, joyriding, and witchcraft) are children under the age of criminal responsibility has prompted a national outcry for government action.

The Debate

1. "These damned hooligans are running wild on our streets!" splutters hard-nosed Sergeant @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the police force. "My overworked officers can't cope anymore! Everywhere we look we're being surrounded by mobs of unruly children! I need you to give me and my officers the power to dish out punishment to these little hoodlums. I don't care how young these kids are - they need to learn to behave properly as soon as possible. Even if it requires a short jail sentence of ten years or so."
[Accept]

2. "The last thing we need is a police force that prosecutes, convicts, AND sentences young kids!" yells outraged Child Welfare Officer @@RANDOMNAME@@. "These youngsters are merely children being playful! Let them learn from their own mistakes! You can't tell me you weren't ever naughty when you were that young! Experience is the tree from which learning is a fruit, remember, and besides: the taxes needed to round them all up would be murder."
[Accept]

3. "Hah! Yeh're lookin' at this the wrong way!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an elderly pensioner, hobbling up to you and poking you in the chest with a walking stick. "When I was wee, and if I was caught breakin' the law, me dad would've beaten seven types of bahoola out of me! If a kid's gone maladjusted and started nickin' cars and whatnot, look at the parents and punish them for not bringin' the tiny scions up right! Yeh can't blame a kid for the environment they were raised in an' that's that!"
[Accept]

Issue by: The People's Republic of East Stalinia
Editor: Sirocco

Bug with 88.

Option 1 says "as long as everyone is willing". I chose it and now people are being murdered for food.

Murder isn't "willing".

Bug with 88.

Option 1 says "as long as everyone is willing". I chose it and now people are being murdered for food.

Murder isn't "willing".

The unexpected side-effect is caused because it's not possible to verify willingness after someone is dead. So, murderers get away with it by claiming their victim was willing.

Ballotonia

# 172: Church Attendances Reaching New Low, Warn Priests

The Issue
Religious professionals and fanatic hermits across @@NAME@@ have been drawing increasingly animated attention to the decreasing levels of church attendance among the population.

The Debate
1. "The apathy of @@NAME@@'s people towards their religious duties to God is abysmal," rumbles a man known only as 'The Hierophant' as he brandishes his holy book at you. "If we don't rectify this problem immediately the ground shalt quake, the sky shalt turn blood-red, and the fields shalt turn to offal. The government must make religious attendance compulsory before all the land is damned to an eternity in the Netherworld!"

2. "Compulsory church attendance is not the answer to this problem," says swami @@RANDOMNAME@@ in between spells of meditation. "There are many ways to enlightenment and it would be wrong for the government to enforce any one of them so, instead, we must divert some of the money we spend on meaningless economic pursuits into funding an awareness campaign to help people discover their true religious identity. We must establish temples, mosques, and hermitages so people can find out which path to their spirituality is right for them."

3. "I reckon you could just ignore these zealots and scrap any government funding we still have going into religion," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, author of the wildly unpopular book 'Face It, There Is No Afterlife'. "I can't believe that modern thinkers like you and me are still tying ourselves down with outmoded and outdated concepts like the 'soul' or 'God'. Just drop all funding and give everyone a bit of a tax break. At least then we can be a bit richer before the long infinite void of oblivion at the end of our small, feeble, insignificant little lives."

#174: Maternity Leave A Must, Say Mothers

The Issue
A coalition of expectant mothers (Mothers 4 Justice) has banded together to demand legislation allowing for six months of fully paid maternity leave.

The Debate
1. "Six months?! Six WHOLE months?!" blusters @@RANDOMNAME@@, a payroll manager. "Six whole months of being fully paid by our company for doing nothing but looking after a baby?! This will sink the small businesses and lose us an obscene amount of revenue! We cannot allow this to pass!"

2. "I believe that passing this law will be a step in the right direction," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, the nation's most outspoken feminist advocate. "These kids need their mothers' love and attention during an important part of their growth development! I don't see why mums should be forced to juggle with the stress of bringing up children and having a job! It's simply too much! Six months maternity leave with full pay is what this country needs - even if it is at the expense of a few avaricious fat cats."

3. "Look, I've got an idea," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an obsessive centrist. "Perhaps we can allow for six months of paid maternity leave, but have the government pay the companies for lost revenue? That way the mothers can bring up their children without financial worries, companies won't lose investors, and everyone will be happy. Apart from the taxpayers, of course, but you can't please everyone."

Issue by: The Liberal Paradise of Vashaan
Editor: Sirocco

I began a little over a week ago. Of the first six questions or so, I have yet to do #s 1, 2, 3, and 4. Are they selected randomly, then? Or is the list above out of date?

Are they selected randomly, then?
Ja.

Is it just a coincidence that I got: "Larry Summers, the nation's most outspoken feminist advocate."? Or was that irony intended?

Is it just a coincidence that I got: "Larry Summers, the nation's most outspoken feminist advocate."? Or was that irony intended? 2. "I believe that passing this law will be a step in the right direction," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, the nation's most outspoken feminist advocate. .

#173
Women Demand Equal Opportunities

The Issue

The women of @@NAME@@ are demanding an end to wage discrimination in the workplace.

The Debate

"The government must put a stop to businesses discriminating against women when they apply for a job!" chants @@RANDOMNAME@@, a ferocious supporter of women's rights. "Did you know that on average men in @@NAME@@ earn four times the amount that women do for doing the same job?! For too long has the female race been discriminated against in our society due to their sex! We demand equal wages, equal opportunities, and equal respect for women and we demand them now!"
[Accept]


"Hey, my business is treading a thin enough profit margin as it is," complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of Heavy Lifting Incorporated. "Women just aren't as good as men at certain jobs, it's a probably proven fact! Take firefighting - if you were dying from smoke inhalation and collapsed on the floor unable to move, who would you prefer to attempt to rescue you? A man with superior muscular strength or some weakling female? Go on, you decide. Let the businesses decide what they pay and who they pay it to - after all, the economy depends on us."

"Hah! Our society is getting far too soft!" rages @@RANDOMNAME@@, a staunch male chauvinist. "Whatever happened to the days when a man could go back home to find his good lady wife with his tea ready and his slippers warm? I've heard that some men even have to cook and clean for themselves! Let us return to the days when it was just the men who went out to bring home the bacon! A brand new golden age!"

"Personally I think things went wrong as soon as women got labelled as the 'fairer' sex," interrupts Catherine Gratwick, author of the best-selling novel 'Gynaecocracy For Beginners'. "We're strong, we're willing - and we're just plain better than men. See what a state the world is in when they're in charge? I propose that all the men should stay home and be househusbands whilst the women go out to work and earn the wage packet!"

Issue by: The Mostly Free Land of HammerCrusher
Editor: Sirocco

Catherine Gratwick is hard-coded.

What is the point of @@RANDOM NAME@@ whenever one of the options (usually the 'dictatorial' one) is from 'your brother'? There can be gender confusion, and even then most people like to pick the leadre of their country - their surname is unlikely to tally with that of their 'brother'. It adds a bit of character in other places, but here it seems a tad unnecessary.

Golgothastan - using phrases like 'a tad' since 1987.