Ice Hockey Players
29-01-2005, 08:20
A report on the nation's top sports show 'Sports World' has uncovered the rampant use of steroids in @@NAME@@'s most high-profile sports leagues. Health and safety advocates as well as sports traditionalists have called for the illegalization of performance-enhancing drugs.
The Debate
1. "This absolutely cannot go on!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@ outside the largest sports arena in @@NAME@@ City. "Players are killing their bodies just to play games! And we allow this? We must outlaw all performance-enhancers! And while we're at it, we have to institute more safety rules for all sports at all levels. There's no sense in someone killing themselves over a game like this."
[effect]athletes are having a harder time with all the required safety equipment they have to wear than with the games themselves
2. "Whoa, whoa, this is a bit of an overreaction," chimes in @@RANDOMNAME@@, commissioner of @@NAME@@'s largest sports league. "My players don't need the government telling them what they can and can't put in their bodies. That having been said, it sure would be nice if I could put clauses about steroid use in my players' contracts. If I or the team owners feel the need to, we should be able to ban our players from using steroids. For that matter, we should be able to require it, too!"
[effect]athletes are sued for "breach of contract" for missing a steroid dose
3. "Wait a minute, first you want to ban steroids, and now the owners can REQUIRE them?" fumes @@RANDOMNAME@@, a famous athlete. "Whatever hapened to freedom of choice? I have to compete against thousands of other athletes, and if I decide to take steroids to help me, then so be it! No way should they be banned, and no way should owners shove them down my throat! I'll take whatever I please, thank you very much!"
[effect]the average life expectancy for athletes is forty years
Stats go up when it's not 2:30 in the morning.
The Debate
1. "This absolutely cannot go on!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@ outside the largest sports arena in @@NAME@@ City. "Players are killing their bodies just to play games! And we allow this? We must outlaw all performance-enhancers! And while we're at it, we have to institute more safety rules for all sports at all levels. There's no sense in someone killing themselves over a game like this."
[effect]athletes are having a harder time with all the required safety equipment they have to wear than with the games themselves
2. "Whoa, whoa, this is a bit of an overreaction," chimes in @@RANDOMNAME@@, commissioner of @@NAME@@'s largest sports league. "My players don't need the government telling them what they can and can't put in their bodies. That having been said, it sure would be nice if I could put clauses about steroid use in my players' contracts. If I or the team owners feel the need to, we should be able to ban our players from using steroids. For that matter, we should be able to require it, too!"
[effect]athletes are sued for "breach of contract" for missing a steroid dose
3. "Wait a minute, first you want to ban steroids, and now the owners can REQUIRE them?" fumes @@RANDOMNAME@@, a famous athlete. "Whatever hapened to freedom of choice? I have to compete against thousands of other athletes, and if I decide to take steroids to help me, then so be it! No way should they be banned, and no way should owners shove them down my throat! I'll take whatever I please, thank you very much!"
[effect]the average life expectancy for athletes is forty years
Stats go up when it's not 2:30 in the morning.