NationStates Jolt Archive

When you type unusal "animals", "currencies", and "mottos", you can get some rather strange and just funny issues. Post yours!

Here's a very strange "National Animal" issue:

Mailmens on the Dinner Table?

The Issue
In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for The Great Sixth Reich's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that mailmens could be added to the menu.

The Debate
"The fact is, the mailmen population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Anne-Marie Spirit. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have mailmen kebabs, mailmen pies, mailmen-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."
[Accept]


"I agree that something needs to be done about mailmen over-population," says random passer-by Akira Jefferson, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
[Accept]


"I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Jazz Dodinas. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The mailmens were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The mailmen is part of what makes The Great Sixth Reich a great nation!"
[Accept]

Here's what my puppet, Great Romeo, got today:

When Police Officers attack!

The Issue
After several reports of pet Police Officers violently attacking, injuring, and even killing citizens, there has been growing pressure from public safety activists for the government to take action.

The Debate
"These creatures are a danger to the public and must be destroyed!" says Hope Hamilton, representative of the Public Institution for Social Safety, Equality, and Direction. "I was attacked by one just on the way here and I nearly lost my life! They're a public menace. We must shoot and burn them!"
[Accept]


"Why punish the poor things?" asks animal-lover Jack O'Bannon, covered in scars from previous encounters with Police Officers. "All they need is good hands to care and rehabilitate them. We need a government education programme to tame them and turn them into loveable pets. The one I'm holding right now shows that it can be done. They are all good, kind creatures deep d- argh!"
[Accept]


"I agree that we shouldn't kill them," says Lars Nagasawa, a famous lawyer. "But I don't think the owner should get away with breaking the law! This is clearly a case of 'intent to greviously harm' if I ever saw it. All citizens should be held accountable of their pet's actions as if they had done the act themselves. It's the only way to be fair - after all, they're just dumb animals."
[Accept]


"Who cares!?" screams Elizabeth Hendrikson as he sends out his pirate radio station broadcast. "Just repeal any laws preventing us from shooting the things when they attack and we'll be able to save ourselves without this stupid, authoritarian, overbearing government and legal system wasting our tax money!"
[Accept]

i had a puppet with the animal as the death trap and this issue aways gave me a laugh

#118: Need For Speed? [Atlantic Rim; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
After watching the movie 'The Fast and the Belligerent', boyracers from all over @@NAME@@ have been petitioning for the abolition of speed limits.

The Debate
1. "Today's cars are safer at high speeds than ever before," argues @@RANDOMNAME@@, editor of Sports Car Monthly. "And long-distance commuters are tired of spending hours on the road just to get to the next city. Abolishing the speed limit would be great for the economy too! People would be more likely to go out and buy cars if they thought they'd be able to use them properly. It seems like such a shame to be puttering along at the speed limit in a magnificent car like the 450HP twin-turbo @@ANIMAL@@ SX/T-7700 you know."

2. "Are you crazy?" cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, a road-accident victim. "We need lower speed limits on automobiles, not higher. You might as well enforce mandatory blindfolds on the road too, it'll come to the same conclusion! People's lives are at stake here! If people were made to drive at, say, no faster than fifty kilometres per hour, I would feel a lot happier walking the streets. Besides, if it takes a long time to get places via car then people might begin using mass transit for once."

3. "I think the current speed limits are fine, but we need better enforcement," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, the most feared traffic warden in @@NAME@@. "If we required GPS tracking devices in all vehicles, we'd ticket every single speeder, no problem. In addition, we could monitor the movements of criminals and other suspicious individuals, and vastly reduce the risk of crime, terrorism, and other subversive activity. Some say that's an invasion of privacy, but if you've done nothing wrong what's there to fear?"

It seems like such a shame to be puttering along at the speed limit in a magnificent car like the 450HP twin-turbo Death-Trap SX/T-7700 you know."

LOL! :)

I think my lungs just collapsed....

Try "Civilians". :D

When Police Officers attack!

The Issue
After several reports of pet Police Officers violently attacking, injuring, and even killing citizens, there has been growing pressure from public safety activists for the government to take action.

The Debate
"These creatures are a danger to the public and must be destroyed!" says Hope Hamilton, representative of the Public Institution for Social Safety, Equality, and Direction. "I was attacked by one just on the way here and I nearly lost my life! They're a public menace. We must shoot and burn them!"
[Accept]


"Why punish the poor things?" asks animal-lover Jack O'Bannon, covered in scars from previous encounters with Police Officers. "All they need is good hands to care and rehabilitate them. We need a government education programme to tame them and turn them into loveable pets. The one I'm holding right now shows that it can be done. They are all good, kind creatures deep d- argh!"
[Accept]
"I agree that we shouldn't kill them," says Lars Nagasawa, a famous lawyer. "But I don't think the owner should get away with breaking the law! This is clearly a case of 'intent to greviously harm' if I ever saw it. All citizens should be held accountable of their pet's actions as if they had done the act themselves. It's the only way to be fair - after all, they're just dumb animals."
[Accept]


"Who cares!?" screams Elizabeth Hendrikson as he sends out his pirate radio station broadcast. "Just repeal any laws preventing us from shooting the things when they attack and we'll be able to save ourselves without this stupid, authoritarian, overbearing government and legal system wasting our tax money!"
[Accept]

LMAO, that was hilarious.

My other one had one about people being attacked and injured by manatees. Which I think is pretty darn funny.

I like this one:


The disillusioned many Decides:
Where's the Love Gone?

The Issue
Last night the respected tabloid TV show "60 Minutes" ran a report on The disillusioned many's rising divorce rate. What is happening to the nuclear family?

The Debate
"There's a simple solution," says Pastor Felix, of the Catholic Church. "Divorce should be illegal. 'For better or worse,' anyone remember how that goes? We should return to the good old days, when you got married for life and stuck by your partner no matter how much of a drunken, abusive, adulterating disappointment they turned out to be."
[Accept]


John Black, author of the hit book, 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Some Whole Other Place,' has a simpler solution. "If couples would just call each other 'darling' :headbang: once in a while, there would be far fewer relationship breakdowns. A little affection is all it takes. So the government should make it mandatory: call your spouse 'darling' at least once a day, or face a fine."
[Accept]


"There's a simple way to boost the marriage rate," says gay rights activist Hack Jefferson. "Abolish those arcane laws that discriminate against same-sex marriages. It's obscene to treat people differently because of their sexual preference. Besides, everyone knows gay relationships are more stable than straight ones."

My personal favorite is the issue of domesticating the Goldfish. You know, that wild, untamed, dangerous creature that we might not want in our homes....

My personal favorite is the issue of domesticating the Goldfish. You know, that wild, untamed, dangerous creature that we might not want in our homes....

I once got one about "Mailmen" Breeding with Dogs!

Having "humans" as a national animal brings up all sorts of strange issues("Humans on the dinner table?", domesticating humans, people marrying their pet humans, "When humans attack!", and more!).

Dinner is odd, too("Dinner on the dinenr table?")

"Zombie" is another fun one("zombies on the dinner table?", "When zombies attack!")

"Glass Bottles on the Dinner Table?"

I can imagine...

Waiter: May I take your order?
Tourist: What do your recommend?
Waiter: Why not try our new "Glass bottle Soup"? It's 100% Fat Free!
Tourist: Mmm... sounds good. I'll have that.
*The Tourist's soup arrives*
*Crunch* ARGH!
Waiter: Uh oh.

"Glass Bottles on the Dinner Table?"

I can imagine...

Waiter: May I take your order?
Tourist: What do your recommend?
Waiter: Why not try our new "Glass bottle Soup"? It's 100% Fat Free!
Tourist: Mmm... sounds good. I'll have that.
*The Tourist's soup arrives*
*Crunch* ARGH!
Waiter: Uh oh.

LOL

One time I had 'blah blah wearing a real Amoeba fur coat blah blah'

"When Librarians attack"

'Nuff said.

I once had a nation where the animal was the "snowmobile". Needless to say, the dinner issue always made me laugh.

My Puppet coloney,Thorkodo, Is known for its burgoeing n00b population

My Puppet coloney,Thorkodo, Is known for its burgoeing n00b population
Nice.

I once had a nation where the animal was the "snowmobile". Needless to say, the dinner issue always made me laugh.

"Snowmobiles on The Dinner Table"?

The Snowmobile population is out of control these days! ;)

"Devil Dogs on the Dinner table?"

I once made my national animal to be cannibals.

Nueavo Sparta's national animal is the opressed hobo, which is also the nations favorite main course.

His other nation is seaguls, whos national animal is food. ("Foods are attacking people!")

to the above posters....

you should all get out a bit more

Lol!

"Snowmobiles on The Dinner Table"?

The Snowmobile population is out of control these days! ;)

Yeah, I know...they're taking all that snow from the cross-country skiiers. Something's got to be done! (this sounds like a SNL skit waiting to happen)

I wonder what Bombardier (who make the "Ski-Doo" snowmobiles) would think about this.

I have "Money Trees" as my national animal.....

"Money Trees running wild!"

"pet Money Trees violently attacking, injuring, and even killing citizens!"

"such as an earthquake or a stampede of Money trees or something"

:p

"When rabbits attack!" That was hilarious.

rabbits? sounds like something out of monty python...

In one of my deceased puppets, the national animal was the milk, and I made it a protected species that could not be eaten (or drank in this case.) Also, the one about the dogs is pretty funny if your animal is the dog. (Especially "only kill the dog-like dogs, why kill the rest" and "The dog was never meant to mate with the dog")