---Neo-America---
16-06-2004, 23:20
I just read an article on Yahoo! News about Liposuction and it reminder of an issue that I haven't seen in a long time. I can't remember how it went, but the issue had an obese person that (I think) had to pried off some theater seats he/she got stuck. And I believe the options for decision on it included compulsory execising, leaving the obese people alone, and government funded liposuction. There might have been another, but I can't remember it. Has anyone seen this one lately?
Unfree People
17-06-2004, 04:35
Oh yeah, it's definitely still in the game. Because we have so many new issues coming in, and especially if you're only doing an issue per day or so, you may not see many of the old ones as often as they used to come around.
#72: Widening Buttocks Cause Movie Theater Havoc [The velvet cockatiel; ed:The SLAGLands]
The Issue
Several festively chubby people were lodged in their movie theater seats for hours, as @@NAME@@'s Fire Department worked to free them. Health organizations are now expressing concern over the problem of obesity in @@NAME@@.
The Debate
1. "Clearly, we have to do something about the expanding obesity problem in @@NAME@@, er, no pun intended," remarks @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the National Health Bureau. "The government should implement an extensive exercise management program and make it mandatory that all citizens participate in some kind of exercise at least once a week."
2. "Mandatory exercise! Get out! I don't have the time!" snorts nationally renowned TV chef @@RANDOMNAME@@. "How about banning those greasy fast food joints and drive-thrus? I mean, seriously, if you can't get out of your stupid car to walk in and get a meal, how sad is that? Ban fast food and make junk food more expensive--that way, people will have to think about whether they really want to spend ten @@CURRENCY@@s on a snack cake."
3. "I don't see why it's anyone's business but my own how I kill myself," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a pleasantly plump computer programmer, stuffing a chili dog down his throat. "My weight is my own business, and if I don't feel like exercising, that's my choice. Sure, it'd be healthier to lose a few pounds, but my priorities lie elsewhere. Leave us alone, and we, the citizens of @@NAME@@, will decide what's important to us and what we want to eat."
4. "What about government-funded liposuction?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, while contemplatively chewing a mouthful of chili dog. "If I could get the fat sucked off of these hips, that would give me the willpower to stay thin. Obesity would be a thing of the past! Just think of it! Nothing but svelte, beautiful people everywhere! Ah, bliss!"