20th Century FOX
08-05-2004, 21:38
WARNING: This Issue may be innapropriate if you're under 13, although I wouldn't think so considering movies and television rated TV-G have more suggestiveness then this.
This Issue would never get approved, but I thought it up while joking with some people on the chat, and I just had to share it because I just couldn't stop laughing:
Name: The Great Equalizer
Description: Several men and women of considerably small proportions in certain areas have come together in a protest outside the Capitol demanding a "Great Equalizer" which will make body enhancement surgery mandatory to make all men, women and elves equal in their 'special' departments. They claim it will destroy humility and low self esteem among the less fortunate - so to speak - of @@NAME@@.
Validity: None
Options:
[option] "We need this!" yells the 'Great Equalizer' movement's chairmen @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Too long have we all been embarrassed in Locker Rooms! Too long have we been envious of others! All men are NOT created Equal, but with this legislation, they will be, along with Women, Elves and a slew of other species which are cursed with small body organs!"
[effect] centimeters in organ differences result in law suits claiming violation of the Equalization Laws
[stats] Civil Freedoms rise, Medical Industry greatly rises, Healthcare rises
[option] "Tell me your kidding!?" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@ who is the head of 'Jock Talk' a leading sports magazine featuring buff models. "Hey, I'm all for civil rights, but you can't mess with nature! Some of us are blessed, and some are not, live with it! Besides, if they make everyone equal, that means people who are quite blessed will have to have reduction surgery!"
[effect] locker rooms have become the scene of shoot outs from low self esteem individuals
[option] "Oy..." says @@RANDOMNAME@@ head of the 'Pure Society Association' at the mention of this issue. "You see, this is the result of a vain, conceded society coupled with surgery that should never be permitted! I say ban them both! Down with vanity and surgery!"
[effect] looking in the Mirror longer then 10 minutes or having corrective eye surgery are federal crimes
[stats] civil freedoms fall, economy falls
This Issue would never get approved, but I thought it up while joking with some people on the chat, and I just had to share it because I just couldn't stop laughing:
Name: The Great Equalizer
Description: Several men and women of considerably small proportions in certain areas have come together in a protest outside the Capitol demanding a "Great Equalizer" which will make body enhancement surgery mandatory to make all men, women and elves equal in their 'special' departments. They claim it will destroy humility and low self esteem among the less fortunate - so to speak - of @@NAME@@.
Validity: None
Options:
[option] "We need this!" yells the 'Great Equalizer' movement's chairmen @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Too long have we all been embarrassed in Locker Rooms! Too long have we been envious of others! All men are NOT created Equal, but with this legislation, they will be, along with Women, Elves and a slew of other species which are cursed with small body organs!"
[effect] centimeters in organ differences result in law suits claiming violation of the Equalization Laws
[stats] Civil Freedoms rise, Medical Industry greatly rises, Healthcare rises
[option] "Tell me your kidding!?" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@ who is the head of 'Jock Talk' a leading sports magazine featuring buff models. "Hey, I'm all for civil rights, but you can't mess with nature! Some of us are blessed, and some are not, live with it! Besides, if they make everyone equal, that means people who are quite blessed will have to have reduction surgery!"
[effect] locker rooms have become the scene of shoot outs from low self esteem individuals
[option] "Oy..." says @@RANDOMNAME@@ head of the 'Pure Society Association' at the mention of this issue. "You see, this is the result of a vain, conceded society coupled with surgery that should never be permitted! I say ban them both! Down with vanity and surgery!"
[effect] looking in the Mirror longer then 10 minutes or having corrective eye surgery are federal crimes
[stats] civil freedoms fall, economy falls