Ice Hockey Players
03-05-2004, 00:56
At one of @@NAME@@'s premier sporting events last night, infamous thug @@RANDOMNAME@@ attacked a member of the opposing team, a bitter arch-rival, shattering his jaw and forcing him to the playing surface where the impact of the landing gave him a concussion. The victimized player is still in a coma and the government has been petitioned to take some action.
The Debate
1. "Assault is assault, and the law is the law!" clamors @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the @@NAME@@ legislature. "Why are athletes able to get away with assaulting other athletes within the game? If I beat up another member of the legislature for voting down a bill of mine I would be thrown in jail...yeah, that's it...in any case, we need to hold athletes to the same standard as we hold anyone else at their jobs and try the offending player as a common criminal!"
[effect]hordes of athletes leave the games in police vans whenever fights break out
2. "Isn't it enough that the league's going to take care of the problem?" cries out @@RANDOMNAME@@, the commissioner of the league. "The offending player is suspended without pay until such time as we see fit to allow said player back! Fans are so forgiving anyway and it will be good for the sport."
[effect]sporting events have turned into brutal spectacles as leagues refuse to crack down on thugs
3. "Trying athletes as criminals is a little harsh, but the government can step in," argues @@RANDOMNAME@@, a member of your Cabinet and a huge sports fan. "If a player injures another player, that player is out until the injured player can return. If the injured player never returns, then neither does the player who did the injuring. We make this a law and we have no more problems."
[effect]athletes serve lengthy suspensions for injuring opponents no matter how accidental they claim the injury was
4. "Why is this even debated?" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, President of the @@NAME@@ Society of Protecting Children. "These sports are clearly causing more harm than good. We need to ban them on all levels, create a commission for public safety, and ban any images that might steer children toward such violent behavior. The world is dangerous enough already; we don't need sports and entertainment making them even more dangerous."
[effect]the Commission on Public Safety has created a generation of extremely sheltered children
Stats go up once I feel like it.
The Debate
1. "Assault is assault, and the law is the law!" clamors @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the @@NAME@@ legislature. "Why are athletes able to get away with assaulting other athletes within the game? If I beat up another member of the legislature for voting down a bill of mine I would be thrown in jail...yeah, that's it...in any case, we need to hold athletes to the same standard as we hold anyone else at their jobs and try the offending player as a common criminal!"
[effect]hordes of athletes leave the games in police vans whenever fights break out
2. "Isn't it enough that the league's going to take care of the problem?" cries out @@RANDOMNAME@@, the commissioner of the league. "The offending player is suspended without pay until such time as we see fit to allow said player back! Fans are so forgiving anyway and it will be good for the sport."
[effect]sporting events have turned into brutal spectacles as leagues refuse to crack down on thugs
3. "Trying athletes as criminals is a little harsh, but the government can step in," argues @@RANDOMNAME@@, a member of your Cabinet and a huge sports fan. "If a player injures another player, that player is out until the injured player can return. If the injured player never returns, then neither does the player who did the injuring. We make this a law and we have no more problems."
[effect]athletes serve lengthy suspensions for injuring opponents no matter how accidental they claim the injury was
4. "Why is this even debated?" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, President of the @@NAME@@ Society of Protecting Children. "These sports are clearly causing more harm than good. We need to ban them on all levels, create a commission for public safety, and ban any images that might steer children toward such violent behavior. The world is dangerous enough already; we don't need sports and entertainment making them even more dangerous."
[effect]the Commission on Public Safety has created a generation of extremely sheltered children
Stats go up once I feel like it.