NationStates Jolt Archive


Save the consumer!

Team Advantage
20-02-2004, 02:18
It's great how a simple national animal name can change the entire look of an issue. And quite amusing, I think.

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Save the consumer Through Domestication

The Issue
In desperation at the plight of the consumer, which has virtually no natural habitat left in Team Advantage, a somewhat unorthodox environmental group demands that the few surviving specimens be domesticated and sold in pet stores.

The Debate
"We must act now, before the consumer is lost forever," said spokesperson Steffan Wong during a recent interview. "Domestication has ensured the survival of many endangered species in the past, and there really is no alternative left at this point. Besides, I'm sure many families would be thrilled to welcome a consumer into their homes."
[Accept]


"Sure, consumers might look cute and harmless to you," says retired hunting legend Calvin Love, "but back in my day, they were the scourge on the nation. They carry a number of dangerous diseases, and you do NOT want to be bitten by one. My cousin was once bitten by a consumer. So now you want my grandchildren exposed to these things? The sooner they disappear completely, the better!"
[Accept]
Unfree People
20-02-2004, 07:11
Well that's interesting - being a 'Capitalist Paradise' one would think that your consumers were being spoon-fed, forget endangered ;)
Team Advantage
20-02-2004, 07:57
Yeah, it doesn't really fit (especially if you've read Jennifer Government!), but, nonetheless, reading it cracked me right up.