Kentistan
15-01-2004, 03:41
The Issue
In a display of unity that can best be described as "highly unnerving," criminals and law enforcement officials alike are up in arms about recent overcrowding within prisons in Kentistan.
The Debate
1. "I tell ya, chief... this ain't good," mutters local police chief Peggy Love over his morning cup of coffee. "I see these no-good mohawk-wearin' punks every day, and they're a dangerous bunch. They gotta be locked in their mudholes forever! If we can't afford to keep 'em in prison, I say we need more money! Let's just casually shift some funding from elsewhere; after all, it ain't like our welfare program is helping keep these kids away from crime."
2. "How can these wayward individuals find their inner selves by staring at the walls within a stone cell?" challenges human rights activist and local prison license plate maker Freddy Thiesen "The nation's budget is absolute proof: we cannot afford prisons... strictly because of their immorality! Let these caged birds breathe the sweet air of freedom again! Shut down all prisons in Kentistan!"
3. "Now hold on just a second here," says Billy-Bob Jong-Il, CEO of Kentistan's most widely-known pizza delivery chain, Papa Pallocci's Pizza Pagoda. "You've got a problem with prisoners, and I've got a problem finding employees. Why don't you just send some of your criminals to Papa Pallocci's? We'll put 'em to work at lower pay as punishment for their crimes! I win, you win... the economy wins!"
Curious how to handle this. I don't want my economy to take a hit building more prisons. Will it bloat my government while creating a prison industy? Will more and more of my citizens end up in prison, a la California?
2 would close my prisons and I'm sure my crime rate would skyrocket. Can I handle this?
3 is tempting but I sense a big hit on my civil rights, plus government corruption in kahoots with big business.
What to do?
In a display of unity that can best be described as "highly unnerving," criminals and law enforcement officials alike are up in arms about recent overcrowding within prisons in Kentistan.
The Debate
1. "I tell ya, chief... this ain't good," mutters local police chief Peggy Love over his morning cup of coffee. "I see these no-good mohawk-wearin' punks every day, and they're a dangerous bunch. They gotta be locked in their mudholes forever! If we can't afford to keep 'em in prison, I say we need more money! Let's just casually shift some funding from elsewhere; after all, it ain't like our welfare program is helping keep these kids away from crime."
2. "How can these wayward individuals find their inner selves by staring at the walls within a stone cell?" challenges human rights activist and local prison license plate maker Freddy Thiesen "The nation's budget is absolute proof: we cannot afford prisons... strictly because of their immorality! Let these caged birds breathe the sweet air of freedom again! Shut down all prisons in Kentistan!"
3. "Now hold on just a second here," says Billy-Bob Jong-Il, CEO of Kentistan's most widely-known pizza delivery chain, Papa Pallocci's Pizza Pagoda. "You've got a problem with prisoners, and I've got a problem finding employees. Why don't you just send some of your criminals to Papa Pallocci's? We'll put 'em to work at lower pay as punishment for their crimes! I win, you win... the economy wins!"
Curious how to handle this. I don't want my economy to take a hit building more prisons. Will it bloat my government while creating a prison industy? Will more and more of my citizens end up in prison, a la California?
2 would close my prisons and I'm sure my crime rate would skyrocket. Can I handle this?
3 is tempting but I sense a big hit on my civil rights, plus government corruption in kahoots with big business.
What to do?