10-01-2004, 02:28
Mons Scelus Decides:
Tapeworms on the Dinner Table?
The Issue
In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for Mons Scelus's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that tapeworms could be added to the menu.
The Debate
1. "The fact is, the tapeworm population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Hope Silk. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have tapeworm kebabs, tapeworm pies, tapeworm-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."
[Accept]
2. "I agree that something needs to be done about tapeworm over-population," says random passer-by Chastity Wu, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
[Accept]
3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Miranda Hamilton. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The tapeworms were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The tapeworm is part of what makes Mons Scelus a great nation!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Tapeworms on the Dinner Table?
The Issue
In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for Mons Scelus's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that tapeworms could be added to the menu.
The Debate
1. "The fact is, the tapeworm population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Hope Silk. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have tapeworm kebabs, tapeworm pies, tapeworm-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."
[Accept]
2. "I agree that something needs to be done about tapeworm over-population," says random passer-by Chastity Wu, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
[Accept]
3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Miranda Hamilton. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The tapeworms were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The tapeworm is part of what makes Mons Scelus a great nation!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.