NationStates Jolt Archive

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=506237

If it isn't now, I'm pretty sure it will be soon enough.The Socialist jokes aren't true!

It's not.

Q. How many Socialist Workers Party members does it take to change a lightbulb.
A. Four. One to change the bulb, one to write about it for "the paper", one to sell you "the paper" and another to follow you home and ask why you weren't at the bulb changing, if you plan to make the next one and if you were still as committed.

Q. How many revisionist historians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. In actual fact, against popular consensus, the lightbulb was never actually changed.

Q: How many Palistinians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 2. One to negotiate with the old bulb and one to shoot at it at the same time.

Q: How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, fifty to establish the state production quota, two hundred militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an '800' number to order an American light bulb.

Q: How many Shiites does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to hijack a light bulb, one to commandeer a jet to Beirut airport, one to hold press conferences, and one to negotiate with Israel and the US for the release of fluorescent bulbs held hostage around the world!!

Q: How many members of Hezbollah does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 45 - One to drive the car, four to shoot the president of Sylvania's bodyguards, three to kidnap the president of Sylvania, five to think up the ransom demands, ten to paste up the ransom note, eight to cut little eye-holes in the cloth sacks, one to drive a truck with 2000 kilos of dynamite into the American embassy, one to claim responsibility for the bombing, and twelve to commandeer a building with working lights.

Q: How many politically correct people does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. "Why should we impose our values on the lightbulb ? If it wishes to be a lightbulb of no light, we should respect its uniqueness and individuality."

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Six-one to change the lightbulb, one to condemn "lightbulbarchy" for creating a society in which lightbulbs oppress sockets, one to secretly wish she were the socket, one to secretly wish she were the lightbulb, one to shriek, “I can do that without a man’s help!” and one to scream, “THAT’S NOT FUNNY!”

Q: How many gay rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None: The bulb shouldn't have to change for society to accept it.

Q: How many heterosexual males does it take to screw in a light bulb in San Francisco?
A: Both of them.
I know a funnier feminist one, but it's not forum appropriate, so I won't post it.(<- note: this is called showing discretion, something that many posters seem incapable of) Anyway, jokes I tell in my private life are one thing, putting this stuff in a forum is offensive. Seriously. What about any Palestinians who are on NS? I think that if I posted one that was like "How many katganistanis does it take to change a lightbulb", the offensive answerr would be considerred flaming, or some other such innapropriate behavior.

We have gays on NationStates. We have socialists. We have feminists. We have politically correct people (you appear to be one of them). Why are you singling out the Palestinians and other arab/muslim groups as the only ones who would be offended?

This is obviously stereotype humor, not flaming. Grow a skin.



Edit: I see you selected heterosexuals as another flame group, not just arabs. Congrats. We're still not going to act.

meh, I hadn't realized that stereotype humor was kosher. Is that in the rules sticky, or is it considered to be common knowledge?

We assume our players have some degree of skin to them.

Much like we assume they'll keep their signatures under eight lines...