NationStates Jolt Archive

In a recent scientific study, incorporating the study of an estimated five thousand individuals born in ten different nations (The Second Empire, Doomingsland, Questers, Praetonia, Shansekia, Jeuna, Franberry, Layarteb, Willink and Picts), it has been found that the average Macabee has a larger penis than any other race studied (from the nations listed above). The data is as follows:

National - Average Length:
Macabee - 9 in.
Doomingsland - 6.5 in.
Questers - 7 in.
Praetonia - 6 in.
Shansekia - 3 in.
Jeuna - 3 in.
Franberry - 6 in.
Layarteb - 7in.
Willink - 6 in.
Picts - 6.5 in.

The Questerian average was brought down by its fairly large white population. The average Questerian colored man has an average penis length of 9 in., on par with the average Macabee (it should be noted that the average Macabee is white), but the average penis length of the average Questarian white man is only 5 in. The same is true for the Praetonian population. Although the average Praetonian white male does not have a relatively large phallus, the average Praetonian gypsy has a penis length of 2 in. The gypsy is, in fact, the race with the shortest recorded penises; second to last is the general Asian population (as represented by the Jeunan and Shansekian averages).

All of this points to the fact that the superior race is the Macabee race.

ooc: Do we seriously need a thread on this?

OOC: Yes.

The Empire is not displeased with these ratings.

Cohenia, a nation proud of its large, girthy phalluses, reports that the scientists in question were indeed Layartebian and Macabeean. Scientific evidence puts Layartebian dongs as the smallest with a record of 2.8 inches long, yet Macabeean reproductive organs at a higher 11 inches. They were apparently being modest.

AP - The Macabee national average penis length is growing unrestricted due to the "phallus flu". The national government has declared a national emergency. Emperor Fedor I said, "The flu is reported to cause unrestricted growth of the penis, causing massive blood redistribution to that area, limiting blood circulation elsewhere and causing death."

ooc: what a way to go... well, their is one surefire cure for this, but I doubt you guys would like it very much.

Due to a recent outbreak of possible Elephantiasis in Macabees the Empire is looking into possibly suspending travel to ensure that our penial record is not harmed.

According to the Richard Dawkins Institute sexual psychopathology sub-department, the women of the Confederacy have some among the tightest pussies of the world, and Third Spanish States Jews have some among the largest diameter circumcised penises of the world, at an average diameter of 3.4 inches.

*headdesks* So much fail....

Mods, /thread please.

ooc: wow, I've heard of epenis competitions, but this is rediculous

*headdesks* So much fail....

(OOC: Yes, so goodbye.

This thread is a tribute to all "World's Largest" threads done by 3 months old NSes since NS was established.)

No. Mac, do not do this (or similar) again.