NationStates Jolt Archive

Yesterday, A 16 year old boy found an experimental air vehicle crashed near the small town of Leningrad, 30 miles from the city of Stalingrad. He told us it was possibly from a foreign nation, stating he saw no soviet red star insignia.

Now I'm asking, does this belong to you, anyone?

Congratulations, you have found the Birkanian Air Force's last abandoned Il-10.

OOC: Yeah, it's my girlfriend's. Give it back please.

I apologize. That aircraft is the property of the Takaram Air Force. Please have it prepared for return to Takaram.

I insist we are given what is rightfully ours.

Federation of the Serbian Soviet Union has sent an aid of 50 US dollars in assisting the New Soviet Union in returning the Air bycicle vehicle back to the Commonwealth of Birkaine.

The Republic of Reijvajik insists that Birkaine gives ownership of the vehicle to us; or else the friendship between our Foreign Minister and his girlfriend shall be in jeopardy. Please understand.

We understand the risks, but we simply cannot allow a fine piece of Birkanian pseudo-engineering to fall in the hands of foreigners. However, we are willing to repay you with another experimental aircraft of the same caliber and performance, such as the Wright Flyer or the Flying Brick.

We shall take the Flying Brick. Our Foreign Minister's girlfriend is fond of bricks; which probably explains why she befriended one.

A flying brick has been delivered to Reijvajijavjikavajivaj... er you get the picture. We now hope are clear to remain in greedy possesion of the aircraft.

Fatatatutti offers refugee status to the vehicle in question.

Birkaine has mispelled our name. WE SEE THIS AS A DECLARATION OF WARSQ!!!!
I N00K UR SILLY NATION. WIT N00KS. 9001 OF THEM. ALSO THE N00KS CAN'T BE SHOT DOWN COS THEIR SUPER SPECIAL N00KS ONLY MY COUNTRY HAS. ALSO, THEY'RE N00KS. I ANNEKSES UR COUNTRY AND EAT UR COUNTRYS BABBYSS.

POAST LOSES.:sniper::sniper::sniper::mp5::mp5::mp5:

Birkaine has mispelled our name. WE SEE THIS AS A DECLARATION OF WARSQ!!!!
I N00K UR SILLY NATION. WIT N00KS. 9001 OF THEM. ALSO THE N00KS CAN'T BE SHOT DOWN COS THEIR SUPER SPECIAL N00KS ONLY MY COUNTRY HAS. ALSO, THEY'RE N00KS. I ANNEKSES UR COUNTRY AND EAT UR COUNTRYS BABBYSS.

POAST LOSES.:sniper::sniper::sniper::mp5::mp5::mp5:

HAHA FUNNY! People will put all or part of this in their signatures.

http://www.forwardedtome.com/images/fail/ftm_failplane.jpg

The project Enhanced Plane for Interception Courses and Full Aerial Interdiction of Logistics (E.P.I.C.F.A.I.L.), which blueprints were lost after a blue screen of death followed by a "Blue Screen performed an illegal operation. Blue Screen must be closed." message, was set into a random course with a large shipment of failed industrial rejects as trash was becoming great problem in the Confederacy. And thus, it would eventually be found, and as it crashed, its cargo began to unload... a -50 Exatons Nuclear Flower Power Afro Bomb.

http://mobmg.photobucket.com/albums/v169/Greyskye/failforkliftbomb.jpg

As it rolled over the floor... birds began to chirp intensely and squirrels began to make a daisy chain of free love around the bomb. Despite the concrete ground, flowers blossomed in a psychedelic pattern, and suddenly a music began to play, augmenting the feeling that reality was turning into a massive acid trip of LULZ.

Young man, there's no need to feel down.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy.

Young man, there's a place you can go.
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel ...

Young man, are you listening to me?
I said, young man, what do you want to be?
I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.
But you got to know this one thing!

No man does it all by himself.
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf,
And just go there, to the y.m.c.a.
I'm sure they can help you today.

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel ...

Young man, I was once in your shoes.
I said, I was down and out with the blues.
I felt no man cared if I were alive.
I felt the whole world was so tight ...

That's when someone came up to me,
And said, young man, take a walk up the street.
There's a place there called the y.m.c.a.
They can start you back on your way.

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...

Y-m-c-a ... you'll find it at the y-m-c-a.

Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.

Y-m-c-a ... you'll find it at the y-m-c-a.

Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.

Y-m-c-a ... just go to the y-m-c-a.

Young man, young man, are you listening to me?
Young man, young man, what do you wanna be?

http://img370.imageshack.us/img370/3105/030722nintendols1.gif

The chirping of birds, the squirrels of unorthodox preferences and the music suddenly became tame as a new sound echoed through the crash site:

"Muuud.... kip!"

"Muuud.... kip!"

The bright blue creature began to echo its strange sound repetitively, like if asking for something, its color blending with the bright blue of the skies as it approached the squirrels, who were now singing the Bananaphone, forming an irregular cacophony with the boys band song that played from inside the -50 Exatons Flower Power Afro Bomb and with the Banaphone squirrel chorus.

"BLAARGH!" a massive, loud wheezing sound rumbled, shaking the very foundations of the place, as the kid probably would run away, unsure whether to like or not mudkips. All started when the cute's creature face began to swirl, its flesh dancing as the blue of its skin slowly darkened to a pear-like black, massive red lips erupted from its small mouth its small eyes became large and exhalted while its mouth increased in size, stretching supernaturally the muscles of its face. A massive blue laser beam then came, shutting down the music and opening a gapping hole inside both failbomb and failplane, while the squirrels went silent, their fur crawling as they witnessed their predicament.

By a stroke of coincidence, a satellite in geosynchronous orbit captured the bizarre moments, as many saw the images, and an imageboard suddenly became ridden with activity, and thus the truth was discovered.

Not later, an ultimatum would be given, transmitted through a text-to-speech generator.

------------

Channel 4: Bringing Lulz to the Confederacy since Longcat was a new meme
www.4chan.tv.tee

Hello, New Soivet Union. Your campaigns of misinformation; suppression of dissent; your failigious nature, all of these things have caught our eye. The extent of your influence over those who trust you, who call you leader (in other words, nobody), has been made clear to us. Anonymous has therefore decided that your nation should be destroyed. For the good of your citizens, for the good of mankind--for the LULZ--we shall expel you from The NSWorld.

We give you two seconds, after you finish listening to this message, to choose whether to be destroyed with honor or epic fail: deliver us the E.P.I.C.F.A.I.L. Plane, and we shall destroy you with our bare hands. Refuse, and you will regret dearly to even exist.

You cannot hide; we are everywhere.

Now you have two seconds to bring this plane to the Airport of the city of Tucker, in the Confederacy of Third Spanish States. Don't get late. Don't Fail

http://www.forwardedtome.com/images/fail/ftm_failplane.jpg

The project Enhanced Plane for Interception Courses and Full Aerial Interdiction of Logistics (E.P.I.C.F.A.I.L.), which blueprints were lost after a blue screen of death followed by a "Blue Screen performed an illegal operation. Blue Screen must be closed." message, was set into a random course with a large shipment of failed industrial rejects as trash was becoming great problem in the Confederacy. And thus, it would eventually be found, and as it crashed, its cargo began to unload... a -50 Exatons Nuclear Flower Power Afro Bomb.

http://mobmg.photobucket.com/albums/v169/Greyskye/failforkliftbomb.jpg

As it rolled over the floor... birds began to chirp intensely and squirrels began to make a daisy chain of free love around the bomb. Despite the concrete ground, flowers blossomed in a psychedelic pattern, and suddenly a music began to play, augmenting the feeling that reality was turning into a massive acid trip of LULZ.

Young man, there's no need to feel down.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy.

Young man, there's a place you can go.
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel ...

Young man, are you listening to me?
I said, young man, what do you want to be?
I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.
But you got to know this one thing!

No man does it all by himself.
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf,
And just go there, to the y.m.c.a.
I'm sure they can help you today.

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel ...

Young man, I was once in your shoes.
I said, I was down and out with the blues.
I felt no man cared if I were alive.
I felt the whole world was so tight ...

That's when someone came up to me,
And said, young man, take a walk up the street.
There's a place there called the y.m.c.a.
They can start you back on your way.

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...

Y-m-c-a ... you'll find it at the y-m-c-a.

Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.

Y-m-c-a ... you'll find it at the y-m-c-a.

Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.

Y-m-c-a ... just go to the y-m-c-a.

Young man, young man, are you listening to me?
Young man, young man, what do you wanna be?

http://img370.imageshack.us/img370/3105/030722nintendols1.gif

The chirping of birds, the squirrels of unorthodox preferences and the music suddenly became tame as a new sound echoed through the crash site:

"Muuud.... kip!"

"Muuud.... kip!"

The bright blue creature began to echo its strange sound repetitively, like if asking for something, its color blending with the bright blue of the skies as it approached the squirrels, who were now singing the Bananaphone, forming an irregular cacophony with the boys band song that played from inside the -50 Exatons Flower Power Afro Bomb and with the Banaphone squirrel chorus.

"BLAARGH!" a massive, loud wheezing sound rumbled, shaking the very foundations of the place, as the kid probably would run away, unsure whether to like or not mudkips. All started when the cute's creature face began to swirl, its flesh dancing as the blue of its skin slowly darkened to a pear-like black, massive red lips erupted from its small mouth its small eyes became large and exhalted while its mouth increased in size, stretching supernaturally the muscles of its face. A massive blue laser beam then came, shutting down the music and opening a gapping hole inside both failbomb and failplane, while the squirrels went silent, their fur crawling as they witnessed their predicament.

By a stroke of coincidence, a satellite in geosynchronous orbit captured the bizarre moments, as many saw the images, and an imageboard suddenly became ridden with activity, and thus the truth was discovered.

Not later, an ultimatum would be given, transmitted through a text-to-speech generator.

------------

Channel 4: Bringing Lulz to the Confederacy since Longcat was a new meme
www.4chan.tv.tee

Hello, New Soivet Union. Your campaigns of misinformation; suppression of dissent; your failigious nature, all of these things have caught our eye. The extent of your influence over those who trust you, who call you leader (in other words, nobody), has been made clear to us. Anonymous has therefore decided that your nation should be destroyed. For the good of your citizens, for the good of mankind--for the LULZ--we shall expel you from The NSWorld.

We give you two seconds, after you finish listening to this message, to choose whether to be destroyed with honor or epic fail: deliver us the E.P.I.C.F.A.I.L. Plane, and we shall destroy you with our bare hands. Refuse, and you will regret dearly to even exist.

You cannot hide; we are everywhere.

Now you have two seconds to bring this plane to the Airport of the city of Tucker, in the Confederacy of Third Spanish States. Don't get late. Don't Fail

This is called godmodding and we will bring this issue up in the International Court of Justice at the next General Assembly Summit.

Greater Americania claims this vehicle.

Takaram must insist that it's property is returned. We will fully cover the expenses for transport of the plane, and an extra sum to your government for finding our airplane. Thank you

birkaine has mispelled our name. We see this as a declaration of warsq!!!!
I n00k ur silly nation. Wit n00ks. 9001 of them. Also the n00ks can't be shot down cos their super special n00ks only my country has. Also, they're n00ks. I annekses ur country and eat ur countrys babbyss.

Poast loses.:sniper::sniper::sniper::mp5::mp5::mp5:

No losses bcuz of mah emp laser!!1oneshift!! Now i fire my n00ks at your countri and wipe out citis bfore I fire kinetic t3h supersecret striek sat. Post ur lossis first.

Nuh uh because i hax ur country's computer system and make u n00k urself wit ur own n00ks. Also i n00k ur satelite and eat ur contrys mens as well so u haf no ppl in teh military.
Poast loses.

Calm down people, we will just examine the insignia found on it (Unless someone was too lazy too put the insignia of their own nation on the craft) and return it to it's owner.

Unreal229 will dispatch a full reviewing committee to the New Soivet Union. We will then take the illegally parked vehicle into custody for questioning. The vehicle will then be taken to Unreal229 to serve its 7 life sentences for crimes against humanity.

Just ignore this ffs.

The plane is of Birkanian origin. Our radar stations saw a Birkanian Weaponized Ultralight Cropduster disappear for the screens. We DEMAND the plane to be returned to Birkaine.

We apologize, but we are quite fond of screaming at those we do not like to "GO FLY ZE KITE!" Unfortunately, sometimes people take us up on the offer. We apologize, but this kite is filled with 1 gazillion milla-ounces of our Botox viragen. Not Viagra. And so, we shall go to war wiht any country challanging us, and we shall fire our massive IGNORE CANNON (http://i31.tinypic.com/23hk4l1.jpg) which we stole from another nation, and looks like...Well, uuuhhh....Male Anatomy. We shall then fire our perzillion billion and 1 nuclear pigs at their pathetic nations comepletely destroying the world except for a single can of Spam, and Daiwiz. Good day to you, sah, and give us back our Kite! Otherwise, go fly one!!!!

PS: We take offense to being too lazy to put the insignia of our nation on our aircraft, we never label our aircraft so as to do things like this. Good day zir!

Crotchy McCrotchington, Ambassador to New Soviet Union
From an unknown sewer underneath the BN towers looking for Mr.Bjorn B.B. Bjornsens solid gold poop

OOC: I assume this was meant to be ultimate in comedic stupidity.

OOC: Yeah, kind of.

NUH UH BECOZ MA NATION SCRAMBLES UR COMPUTERS SO ALL TEH CONTROLS AND DOCOMENTS LUK LIKE
fjhsdkflhakdjfkhljksalhfdjsahlkfjhsdlfjkshdlfjhdlskjfhslkdjflsjdhflsajhdflkjsahfldjsafhkj
SO U CAN'T DO ANYTHING

ANYWAY I N00K UR SILLY NATION TOO WITH MY N00KS FITTED WITH IGNITION GENERATING NITROUS OXIDE ROCKET ENGINES AND ANNEKS UR COUNTRY AS WELL AND TURN UR GOVERMENT BUILDING INTO AN DISNEYLAND.

DATS IT JU SHTUPIDS O.o WE OFFICIALY FART IN YOUR NATIONS PERIMEter CASUING CHU OT EXBWODE!!!!!!!111!1!!!!!!!!1!11!!!ONE!!!!!!!!!!!

I WIN :d END OF STORY DUDES

Beside, our official language is gibberish.

10 year old Belkalandian boy walks up to all the people fighting and asks "Has anyone seen my model plane? I made it myself and it cost me lots of zollars to make it. It's got wings, a tail, and a small propeller. Anyone seen it?"

Sorry to bring this up again, but, does your nuclear psychodelic flower power afro bomb look roughly like This? (http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/2242/psychodelicflowerpowera.jpg)