NationStates Jolt Archive

The New Soviet Union is in ruins, the General Secretary Joseph Stalin VII has fled for Georgia.

It was early morning yesterday, Stalin was barely awake. When a powerful ICBM from an enemy nation hit the Capital of Moscow. After this event, Stalin blamed his own country for this. No, The states of Russia have separated and became all separate countries. Now we are in a total civil war.

The skies are filled with ICBMs, falling Absolute Zero Bombs, Nuclear Radiation, and Biological and chemical Missiles. The air has become unbreathable (Not even a gas mask will work) and almost NO survivors!

If there is any nations willing to support an ultra powerful military force, lead by Stalin to reunite the motherland, please help us!

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Department of Defence
The Republic of Reijvajik

We'll pass. Instead, we'll sit back and twiddle our thumbs and eat popcorn while we watch you nuking yourself to oblivion, and then get some cheap movie studio to make a film about it entitled "Broken Star" with Tom Hanks starring as Stalin VII and Nicole Richie as some prostitute that gets blown to bits. That's always a crowd pleaser.

Sincerely -

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Ardon Wyjsten
Ministry of Defence

Official Statement

We are appalled by the esteemed Republic of Reijvajik's suggestion. It is most clear that Dom DeLuise, was born to play the role of Stalin VII. We are also ashamed that you would think of giving work to hacks such as Nicole Richie. Further more, such movie, would be best done in either a Muppet's style puppet based movie, or claymation. We do apologize, however, your artistic vision is quite clouded, we recommend that you find a good pair of emerald glasses, as a good green tint generally clarifies all things artistic, especially visions.

Signed,
His Holiness, Edwardo Listless,
President,
The Theocracy of the Beatus