NationStates Jolt Archive

A message from the Concord University, Liberty-City

Dear Friends in all nations!

Does your nation have some oil wells that have run dry? Unused military platforms? If yes, then we have an offer.

If your nation, corporation, or other entity possesses any kind of floating platform that you no longer need – an oil rig, a naval sea fort (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maunsell_Sea_Forts#Maunsll_Sea_Forts) or something like that, the University will be ready to purchase it at scrap costs, plus a mark-up of 10%, for a socio-psychological experiment. Donations of money and rigs will be accepted with gratitude.

Thank your for your attention and participation.

Before we proceed with the hypothetical sale of a long abandoned oil rig off the coast of Falkasia and within the harsh conditions of the Falkasian Gulf, we wish to know more aboutt his "Socio-psychological experiment."

Official Communique
To: Concord University
From: The Federated States Of Nehrland

Recently we became aware of a "socio-physiological experiment" that was to take place in Allanea, and a request for floating platforms. Due to our general need for funds, we encouraged our oil corporations to offer all available floating oil platforms. In return for our encouragement, we have been informed that 100 floating oil rigs are up for sale.

Minister Of Foreign Affairs,
John Janice

Official Response from the Concord University

We wish to purchase these platforms for 30 million dollars apiece.

M.A.C Heavy Industries | Energy Producing Derivatives Division

We have for sale four,deactivated oil platforms.

The price for each is $75.000.000USD since they are relatively new and completely functional,have only been deactivated because of management decisions.

IMAGE (http://oceanexplorer.noaa.gov/explorations/05deepscope/logs/aug27/media/oil_rig_600.jpg)

Thank you.

M.A.C Heavy Industries | Energy Producing Derivatives Division Management.

We will happily purchase these.

We will happily purchase these.

M.A.C Heavy Industries | Energy Producing Derivatives Division

Thank you.

M.A.C Heavy Industries | Energy Producing Derivatives Division Management.

To: Concord University
From: The Royal Vaar Navy

It has come to our attention that you are in need of a floating platform. It so happens that the Royal Vaar Navy has six re-configured oil rigs used for training purposes, and also has a need for funds. We will gladly sell you these platforms, which are in fair condition.

Official Allanean REsponse:

Yet again, we will happily purchase these platforms.

"What do you mean the Navy sold the training platforms?" The Prince of Vaarshire asked his aide angrily. "Why the hell would they do that?"

"They sold it to some college in Allanea for..." The aide looked at the paper. "A, quote, 'socio-physiological experiment'."

"Allanea?" The Prince didn't come up with anything. "Well, I'm sure they've never heard of us, either. But since when can the Navy just... up and sell things! The government paid good money to buy those things from Vaarshire Petroleum!"

"But the government owns Vaarshire Petroleum," said the aide.

"Shut up. And also, what kind of experiment is this? The Navy must have forgotten that the platforms are in Vaar territorial waters. I don't want any shady experimentation in my nation, except in the sororities. Contact this university and ask them to explain what this... experiment is," said the Prince.

"How do you want me to go about that, sir?" The aide asked.

"I don't know. Give them an e-mail, look in the goddamned yellow pages, send a telegram if you have to," said the Prince. "After you do that, inform the Director of the Navy that he's fired."

-----

From: PrinceJohannes@Vaarshire.vs
To: Dean_of_Socio-Physiology@ConcordUniversity.edu
Subject: Regarding the "Socio-Psychological Experiment"

To whom it may concern,

The Royal Navy of Vaarshire recently sold six oil rigs- configured as naval training platforms- to Concord University for the purposes of a "socio-psychological experiment". His Majesty, Prince Johannes de Vaar was recently informed of this sale and wishes to know what, exactly, this experiment is, and what it may involve. Please note that the rigs are inside Vaar territorial waters and the Prince reserves the sovereign right to know of the activities taking place in his nation.

Sam Bakker
Aide to the Prince

Response from the President of the Concord University, Liberty-City

In brief, it is our intent to tow the rigs away to a location as yet unselected, and have the experiment subjects live on them for a certain period of time as yet undetermined. If you wish, your government may partake in the experiment records.

"Oh. He's getting rid of them? I thought they were eyesores anyway," said the Prince. "Tell them that they can tow the things away post haste."

The aide sighed. "Yes, sir."
-----
From: PrinceJohannes@Vaarshire.vs
To: Dean_of_Socio-Physiology@ConcordUniversity.edu
Subject: Re: Re: Regarding the "Socio-Psychological Experiment"

Prince Johannes de Vaar heartily approves of the removal of the rigs from Vaar waters and wishes for their expedient removal and for good results from the experiments.

Sam Bakker
Aide to the Prince
-----
After he sent the e-mail, Sam Bakker picked up the jobs section of the Vaarshire Times. "Don't know how anyone elected this loser," he said.