NationStates Jolt Archive

Denecaep's top scientist, Ray S. Matthews, has discovered enough DNA that cloning an Allosaurus may be possible. However, President Billson is denying funding to this cause. Matthews insists he already has proper electrical gates set out on the island of Lumpalin for this creature.

We have now gotten enough funding to accomplish this task. We have cloned the first Allosaurus, and all nations that helped got what they asked for. We will soon begin trying to clone other species.

Funding complete

Percent of cloning process done: 100%

Dinosaur species so far:
Allosaurus: 3
Camptosaurus:5
Deinonychus: 9
Stegosaurus: 5
Velociraptor: 2
Triceratops: 20

The Technonaut Collective wishes to pledge $5 billion to the Denecaep dinosaur program provided we can get a majority vote in any decisions that the program/company/research will make/take. We can also provide laboratories capable for his/her research and eventually mass production of the dinosaurs.

The Griffincrest Corporation would like to match Technonaut's offer. Allosaurus' would be quite interesting.

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The United Socialist States of the Techno-Soviet
The Technocratic Council

We give you a total sum of fifteen billion USD ($15,000,000,000) to finance this operation. In return, we ask for samples of this cloning technology if it proves fruitful. Also, we would like specimens of DNA from Velociraptor, Dilophosaurus, Iguanadon, Allosaurus and Deinonychus for testing purposes and to see if this technology fulfills what is advertised.

In the event that this does not prove fruitful, we ask for a two-thirds return on our investment.

Scamlist dot tee, the most known anti-scam website in the Confederacy, would soon have another one to be updated among thousands of Nigerian scams, and this time it was quite unbelievable that there were people stupid enough to be fooled by such a ridiculous idea of a fund for cloning dinosaurs, and even worse, that some of those idiots have been elected as presidents by their people, or in other circumstances, by their Party.

Meanwhile, Aaron Paul would have an entirely new opportunity to make an essay on human idiocy. How could anyone with minimal knowledge of biology fall under such blatant scam would cross his thoughts, and confirm once again what he always repeated: never underestimate the capability of humans to be complete retards.

OOC: IC-wise, Technonaut isn't human. Just sayin'

OOC: IC-wise, Technonaut isn't human. Just sayin'

correct, and while they've assimilated/cleansed a number of species over the years, money is still a fairly new and foreign concept to them so if it is a scam they would be very likely to fall for it though they may get pissed and just cleanse all involved...

The Technocratic Council Chambers, Techno-Soviet

The Technocratic Council is currently reviewing their transcript for the newest fiscal year and are appalled to find that fifteen billion dollars has been pending to be transferred to some obvious scam.

"WHO!? Who did this?! How did this get here!? We did not authorize this ridiculous amount of funding for some stupid cloning project, unless you're referring to the excess two hundred billion credits we have for our own black projects but those aren't even on the transcript!!! Fix this, immediately!! THEN KILL WHOEVER ORDERED THIS!!!" The Council roared in unison.

"Y-Yes, Technocracy. We'll fix it, we promise we'll fix it! Please, spare us!" The two interns replied, bawling and shaking in fear.

"THEN DO IT!"

Official Response of the Techno-Soviet:

We have canceled the pending funding for this "program". Our own genetics research is far more promising.

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Corporate Fax

To Ray S. Matthews,

We would be more than welcome to invest in your cloning research. We can offer, $5 trillion USD. However, the money, is currently in escrow, and we require $2.5 million USD, to fulfill previous contracts, and get the money out of escrow. We believe that $5 trillion USD, is quite a good return, on an initial investment of $2.5 million. Think of how many dinosaurs you can clone with that much money. We hope you accept our offer. If you do, simple transfer the $2.5 million USD to the account specified below, and we will get you your $5 trillion USD.

Signed,
Ima F. Raud
Bank Manager
Ill-Egit Savings and Loan

to whom it may concern:

5 months ago we started getting reports of strange reptilian animals spotted on the edge of Atlas City. After a lengthy (and underfunded) investigation of the disturbance, we had found a illegal immigrant scientist had been investigating fossils in our beautiful cliffs to the east of the city. the man, running a makeshift lab in a sewer maintenance room seemed to have "unsuccessfully" cloned a velociraptor, filling the gaps in the DNA with that of a baby alligator we suspect was smuggled across our border. we are still looking into the details of how the creation escaped/reproduced.
in the following months of this discovery we had multiple sightings of these creatures and several reports of "hostile" actions from the monsters, as well as 3 people missing from the city. 5 weeks later, All government, police, and armed citizens where given permission to shoot them on sight. this led to more hostile aggression from the velociraptors and ultimately led to us evacuating the entire city. the whole surrounding area was then put in quarantine, so more lives would not be lost. however lately we have discovered that this animal has a delicious flavor and bubbly texture to its meat, and since has become a major export of our small country. Hunting dinosaurs in an abandoned city has drawn the attention of many hunting enthusiasts from around the world. still, the boost in our economy was not worth the lives of the 247 "missing" citizens of Atlas city. we can not offer you any money, but I can offer advice; keep your experiments under control. playing god can be rewarding but also brings with it unexpected consequences.
please note that we are still looking for the country who sent this scientist and funded his experiments on our glorious home, and this news of your new scientific interests arouses suspicion.

all the best,
Nazar Yosyp
chief of investigative police

Jacobania, thank you for the advice, and we are sure the scientist is not a Denecaepian, and if you find out he is, then he will be punished.

Vojvodina-Nihon wishes to note that, instead of fighter jets, it uses cloned pteranodons. Made of steel. On fire. With laser beams for eyes. And they eat tanks, which also may or may not be on fire.

Vojvodina-Nihon further emphasizes that its pteranodon-clone-jets are totally awesome and anyone who disagrees obviously supported ninjas in the ninja vs. pirate feud. Heretics.

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It does not work that way!