NationStates Jolt Archive

The last lot brought bolt-actions to the fight, can you believe that? These guys had semiautomatics and put up a pretty good fight before the tanks rolled over their positions - turns out 37mm isn't enough to stop a main battle tank charging at you. When we tried of having massed rifle fire thrown at our APCs, we paused and hit them with a couple hundred kilotons of thermonuclear goodness; smashed the defensive line to pieces with heat and overpressure. They were airbursts, all of them. Fallout was limited, apparently they'd designed the bombs to keep the fission products nice and low. Neutron activation was a bitch though, we'd have to wait a day or two until the nasty stuff decayed away. So we sat back, busted out the beer and sandwiches and settled in to watch the light show.

When the Aerospace Force makes things go boom, and they love doing this, the zoomies always go for the stylistic touch. So we drank and cheered as the city buster crawled down from orbit overhead, burning west towards the capital. In the end, all we got was the flash on the horizon and the roar, not exactly awe inspiring but hey, the nukeporn would be online in a few days. Always was, nice propaganda touch that.

Word came out a hour or so later that the surviving government had surrendered along with what was left of the opposition's armed forces. They'd gotten the nukeporn up fast too, hel you know how I always find the stuff fascinating to watch and I've been through five campaigns! Mind you, we've only had to drop a city buster twice so it's always something special to see.

It was like God had just cracked a egg open in His kitchen and had the stuff end up on the floor by accident, oops right? The yolk of the fireball hung nice and low over the city as it was pounded into dust by the pressure front and vaporized. It was top quality stuff, slow motion, real nice. The optics they have in those film drones are really something eh? All that was left was girders sticking out of a puddle of glass, was really something to see sparkling in the moonlight... I've got a couple of photos attached, kids would love 'em.


Enough of that poetic shit though. Mum still hasn't bought a new tea set? Way back when we landed I got detailed to do some house to house work. Right nasty that, but I see quite a few nice bits of crockery - the real china and silver shit, none of that ceramic. Ten to one I can pick one up here real cheap, you would not believe the shit these people will do for a old transistor radio, I ordered a box of the real small ones outta Juumanistra, you know the ones? Its sitting under my bunk right now, we got a couple days leave while the second line idiots take over, I should be able to clear the town out haha.


Oh yeah! You got a parcel coming! Couple days ago we passed through a village after the gunships came in and uh, pacified the locals. We went through alright, they were pretty shaken up after that; but one of the stores had been cracked open, and the owner had run off a couple days before. Turns out it was a small wood working shop, oh man you should have seen the wood. This guy must have been one of those artisan types you know? God he had snakewood of all things! No one else knew what it was, so I uh, appropriated the whole lot in the name of national security, sent it back with one of the mail trucks (not much booty in that town). Should be getting to you in a couple of weeks, shipping priorities and shit you know? My Breyr's hand grips are starting to wear out (thats what I get for getting those replacements in Willink last year, that was a stupid idea), I'll trade you a couple local guns for some new snakewood grips. Deal?


Anyway tell mum I'll be home in two weeks, there's not a lot left for us to do, locals don't want to fight. They all got that funny look in their eye, you know? The sort of look that one bunch got after they sent fuckin' cavalry up against us. Well, ten seconds into that the field was just smeared with horsey sauce and no one lifted a finger against us, footage is on wartube.iz, I think I showed you awhile back, remember? It's the one where the horse the guy is riding gets vaped and he goes flying with that look on his face? They didn't even try...I mean sure not having to burn partisans out of forests was nice but come on! I tell you that was the most boring campaign I've ever worked.


Anyway I'm safe and not missing any limbs, god knows mum won't keep worrying. When I get back, I'm buying. End of story. Anyway I got to go on patrol right now, so tell mum I'll phone her tonight okay?


[Email intercept by INTSEC. Filed as part of Continent AC56 seizure and clearance campaign history. Fits with current analysis of population resistance metrics. -HK, Detective-Corporal attached to 222nd Liberation Division]

ooc: In case you haven't figured it out, I'm sweeping through a number of undeveloped continents and 'liberating' the shit out of them for agricultural purposes. I just want people sending angry letters at me. ;_;

OOC: You don't get what you want all of the time.

Official Message from the Soundgardens

We congratulate you on liberating this country. I would not recommend nuking it, especially if you are using it for agricultural purposes. However, very good job, good luck with many other raids.

The Federation of the Soundgardens

ooc: Yeesh. Jolt ate my post. Anyway, with careful bomb design fallout is minimal. Note that Little Boy used sixty kilograms of U-235, while all these bombs used maybe 6-10 kilograms of Pu-239 withcareful bomb case design. In terms of enviornmental damage, local coal plants would be pumping out more rads. :)

OOC: Yes but still, you are destroying the land. It isn't the rads, it's the impact of the explosion that would destroy farmland.

OOC: Yes but still, you are destroying the land. It isn't the rads, it's the impact of the explosion that would destroy farmland.

ooc: Well the thermal effects would burn the grass and trees, but I would be doing that anyway... Even if the earth is unusable for some reason, its just a few kilometers.

:: Arcadia, Steel and Fire ::

President Jethro Q. Walrustitty's office was a mess. Not only was clutter strewn everywhere, but a fine layer of dust covered it all, and gradually thickened. This was largely because the President himself was never there, and only showed up at the Blue House on rare occasions, spending most of his time at his mansion in the wild Lakes Region adjoining Mount Olympus National Park, where he fished on a private lake, hunted whatever game strayed into his property, and tried his best to ignore the numerous Cerulean Guard operatives who were continually tracking his property to make sure no would-be assassins could enter. To be honest, with a name like Jethro Q. Walrustitty, it was small wonder he did his best to avoid public attention.

Most of the work done on behalf of the Walrustitty Administration was done by a large number of secretaries, ministers, and councilors who occupied the rest of the Blue House, who had been appointed by the President and thus presumably represented his views. One of these secretaries was flipping through a report from Intel, presumably covering incidents all over the world. She read through a clipping from a news article, humming to herself.

"-- definitely a form of colonization. The continent, which has remained largely unknown due to the lack of any strongly developed powers that have arisen on its soil, was invaded by Izistani forces last month, an occupation that is still ongoing and has resulted in use of tactical and strategic nuclear weapons. Comments by the Izistani government have suggested that they intend to use the area for agricultural purposes, although --"

She sighed and set it aside. "Marko? We've got another landgrabby thing. Izistan this time."

From the other side of the office, Marko yelled back: "Send it to me, Janine."

"Here," she said, throwing the dossier at him. "Catch."

He missed it. It hit the wall behind him, showering him with papers. "I meant e-mail. Oh well. What's your advisory?"

"I think," she said, with a glint of malicious satisfaction in her eye, "we should write an angry letter."


:: Southern Mainland Joint Base ::

The Colonel reread the letter. It wasn't hard to do, considering its size. It was certainly angry enough, although with typical Steelian bluntness, the intentions behind it were transparent. Now all that had to be done was to load it into the angry letter delivery system, which the Steelians had done quite often, and which his men were now proceeding to do.

They were attaching the letter -- painted onto a sign ten meters long and three meters wide, weighing several hundred kilograms -- to an intercontinental cruise missile. In a minute or two it would launch towards Izistani territory.

An hour or three after its launch, as it reached Izistan and began entering terminal, its internal guidance detected an incoming missile which, at its current hypersonic velocities, it would have no way of dodging to avoid. The missile was destroyed. But not before it had loosed its payload: the big metal sign fell to earth, dropping several thousand feet and leaving a small crater where it landed. Its letters were large enough to read from the tops of tall buildings in the area. The beauty of a sign this size was that it would easily reach the Izistani Government, but had no way of being intercepted by foreign nations short of their officials showing up and reading it.

To the government of Izistan:

The Anarchist Military Junta of Steel and Fire is outraged, yes, outraged at Izistan's recent blatantly imperialistic actions in "colonizing" a foreign continent at the expense of the native peoples. We strongly condemn its recent actions and advise it to cease its imperialism at once, or we shall respond with force. On the other hand, if the Izistani Government could point us towards an area free to colonize where we would not come into conflict with Izistani forces, and which we could develop for our own purposes, we would have no reason to make threats against the Izistani government and might even be willing to work with it in the future.

signed,
Jethro Q. Walrustitty
President of the AMJSF

ooc: thank youuuuu jesus (the mexican guy, not the invisible sky unicorn).

Strategic ICCM's make small Mexican children cry, ergo it wasn't amusing at all when an antipodal projectile was detected merrily skipping towards Western Izistan.

Especially when the entire western strategic radar array network had just been taken down for maintenance. Procedure demanded immediate OWP 5 status followed by strategic nuclear exchange - but the trajectory and mass was waaay off for a strategic strike. Ergo they decided to wait...and wait...and wait while it smeared itself all over the Izistani plain.

It took a couple of hours to piece the sign back together but when they did, they were compelled to send something back.

- - - -

Several hours a CAV skipped its way down the atmosphere and into the water off the coast pf Steel and Fire. Inside the badly dinged up aeroshell was a email address etched into a metal plate along with a electro pencil drawing of a porpoise wearing aviator sun glasses.