Steel and Fire
17-02-2009, 00:23
"... And in other news, after numerous protests against S&F's maintenance of such a large standing army in peacetime, the Council of Twelve recently approved a motion to outlaw pacifism within Steel and Fire's borders, twelve to nothing. President Jethro Q. Walrustitty is expected to sign the bill into law today. We asked President Walrustitty's chief of staff for 80 Awosting Drive's opinions on the matter. This is Adrian Zarb."
"I'm pleased to be here, Sam."
"We're glad to have you, Adrian. Tell me, what does the Walrustitty Administration propose to do with these pacifists?"
"We thought maybe kill them in amusingly ironic ways. Like having them fight to the death in open-air arenas. But we figured it was probably easier to just sell them to other countries who don't mind hippies nearly as much. Except for the ones we decide to use for scientific experiments and suchlike."
"Quite interesting indeed. How has the President responded to critics who claim that, yeah, they may be hippies, but they might be on to something -- all of Steel and Fire's militarism and imperialism is putting real strain on the economy, after all, and giving the generals free rein over tactical battalions damages the nation's international reputation?"
"President Walrustitty said they were valid concerns, and his administration would do the best it could to answer the-- wait, I got my notes mixed up. President Walrustitty said that everyone making that argument are pinko hippies who are too doped up to notice reality if it bit them in the ass. And I think that Steel and Fire's militaristic, uh, militarism is part of what makes Steel and Fire such a great nation, and makes me proud to be a Steelian. As you should too."
"Uh, yeah. Thanks for taking the time to answer these few questions, Adrian. That was Adrian Zarb, President Jethro Q. Walrustitty's chief of staff, speaking about a proposal that will ban pacifism and deport all hippies currently residing in Steel and Fire. In sports, the Demons defeated the Dragons in their sixth straight victory since the beginning of the season...."
"I'm pleased to be here, Sam."
"We're glad to have you, Adrian. Tell me, what does the Walrustitty Administration propose to do with these pacifists?"
"We thought maybe kill them in amusingly ironic ways. Like having them fight to the death in open-air arenas. But we figured it was probably easier to just sell them to other countries who don't mind hippies nearly as much. Except for the ones we decide to use for scientific experiments and suchlike."
"Quite interesting indeed. How has the President responded to critics who claim that, yeah, they may be hippies, but they might be on to something -- all of Steel and Fire's militarism and imperialism is putting real strain on the economy, after all, and giving the generals free rein over tactical battalions damages the nation's international reputation?"
"President Walrustitty said they were valid concerns, and his administration would do the best it could to answer the-- wait, I got my notes mixed up. President Walrustitty said that everyone making that argument are pinko hippies who are too doped up to notice reality if it bit them in the ass. And I think that Steel and Fire's militaristic, uh, militarism is part of what makes Steel and Fire such a great nation, and makes me proud to be a Steelian. As you should too."
"Uh, yeah. Thanks for taking the time to answer these few questions, Adrian. That was Adrian Zarb, President Jethro Q. Walrustitty's chief of staff, speaking about a proposal that will ban pacifism and deport all hippies currently residing in Steel and Fire. In sports, the Demons defeated the Dragons in their sixth straight victory since the beginning of the season...."