NationStates Jolt Archive

President Justin Morales stepped to the front stands of the Leocardian capitol building of Kika Mana, where hundreds of cameramen stood, as well as a national televised station to address the current situation.

Official Leocardian Response
Our mission is to serve and protect the people of the World. The new image that I have been fighting for is being showcased in the United States of Dante Peak, protecting the sovereignty of the Peninsula, which rightfully belongs to the Cascaedia. The message is solid, and obviously demanding, though these slobs and goons are not receiving our message. The nations of Far Echo Islands and Battlehawk have swore their allegiance for the USDP, and has had some difficulties on our part.

Today, I am here to announce that our men and women fighting for our national image are proud to be there. There are witnessing history that should've been looked at us before. However, Batista had stained it. Our men and women are the true freedom fighters, not terrorists, and we are definitely going to receive respect for it. We will make history getting respect from countries around the world.

Just last night, our Riceball Superdreadnaught had been nuked by an unknown origin. Space trackers have found it was a nuclear warhead launched by a submarine, and intelligence has received information that it was a warhead from the USDP. However, we are not still sure about where the origins of this warhead originated. As much as thought we are putting in, we are trying to avoid a nuclear war from happening. Our military investigators are currently investigating and engaging the enemy as I speak. If anything worst that will happen, the blame should not be within the military, but myself as an individual. Citizens of Leocardia, I ask for you to remain calm. Our military are still the fiercest in the world... even with a nuclear warhead launched at our navy. We still hold world power status.

For the USDP, if you claim that you did not launch the nuclear warhead at our ships and that your policy to not engage us is still in effect, we ask you to contribute all your military actions' logs during the dispute to us for our own review. If your forces did not launch a strike on us, we demand the right to send military investigators into your country and into your military archives to investigate the origins. If you did not commit this strike, we demand information from all your national intelligence. Failing to do so would be an act of aggression and automatic assumption that you have lied and committed the act of nuclear strike on Leocardia.

To other nations of the global community, I am rewarding $100 trillion for any nation to investigate and report the origins of the nuclear strike. As you can probably conclude, we do not know of the origins of the missile and from what country it comes from. Our reward will not only reward you with our monetary prize, but a solid, original EAGLE defense system by Leocardian technologies. May your research and investigations go as planned, we will be waiting for your reports.

OOC: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=578128&page=3

Atlyia, Far Echo Islands

Never had more gaping wide holes formed in human faces than when the President-General and the other officials who conducted the operation watched the streaming video from Leocardia as their chins must have dislocated in a way similar to that of a snake's because it seemed if not held by a non-elasticity of skin, they would have almost surely hit the floor in a cartoon-like fashion.

"Monkey shit." Said a General from the back of the room. No one knew what his words meant, but they knew the point he was trying to communicate was what they all were feeling; that was too complex for words, and there was a low, sub-audible "Uh-huh." from the rest of the room.

Official Diplomatic Letter

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Desk of the President-General
of
The Federal Republic of the Far Echo Islands

It is our own assessment of this appalling use of nuclear weapons that it did not likely come from any of the four involved nations. The Dante Peakians do not have the capibility to preform such an operation, the Far Echo Islander Fleet was too far from the blast zone to have preformed such an action, we will submit our records if you wish, the Battlehawkians were in no position to make such a move, and surely it would be a most convoluted plan if the Leocardians performed this act upon themselves. This leads us to suspect a third party nation, one that had been watching the conflict closely, but made no statement until this attack, or somehow the act was paid for or otherwise contracted out.

This nation only wishes to contribute what it can to the investigation of this matter, and to send condolences, but does not wish to get any further involved as the Senate has overridden the President-General's deployment order and the Far Echo Islander forces deployed have been ordered back.

Our Deepest Condolences to All Who Perished,



Esteban Valdez, President-General

Kampferian Communique

Kampfers claims that it was most obviously the nation of Zukariaa who launched this nuclear device at your nation. Please forward us the 100 trillion as soon as possible. Thank you.

Alacea confirms this intelligence and proposes Kampfers recieve the reward.

-SEA Foreign Office

The Empire of Zukariaa accepts the blame.

Cohenia blames Zukariaa.

President Jefferson Davis Vauntroy has announced that he intends to blame Zukariaa, not the black population as usual, for this catastrophe.

The Jeunese GQJ also independently confirms that the government of Zukariaa launched an inter-continental ballistic missile from a submarine with the intent to target Leocardia.

A long and arduous investigation has proven that it was in fact Roef, and not Zukariaa who was the perpetrator of the attack. We would also like to warn the noble Leocardians that Zukariaa may simply be a part in a wider Roef-ian conspiracy that pegs Roef as the reason for global warming, communism, and popped collars.

A long and arduous investigation has proven that it was in fact Roef, and not Zukariaa who was the perpetrator of the attack. We would also like to warn the noble Leocardians that Zukariaa may simply be a part in a wider Roef-ian conspiracy that pegs Roef as the reason for global warming, communism, and popped collars.

Official Communique

what

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a350/SWATguy528/POTASLetterhead.png

To: The Office of the President of Leocardia
Sbj: Nuclear Attack

We share in the morning of the loss of the people of your nation as it is a terrible tragedy for all those involved. Families, friends, loved ones, and the history books will mark this day as a said one, as we jointly share in your sorrow in the loss of each and every one of the lives lost. In conjunction with our Defense Intelligence Agency, out Domestic Intelligence Agency, and our State Department we also; in conjunction with the Leistung government announce the Government of "Roef" as the culprits of this horrible and horrendous attacks upon your nation. We are prepared for forward any needed information to back this claim as needed, alongside various sources within the aggressors government.

We hope we could be of any assistance through this time as you find hope, justice, and restored faith in your future, security, and your pursuits of freedom.

Also, we're more than willing to half the 100 Trillion dollar reward with Leistung. We'd invest that reward into various charities and organizations throughout the world.

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a350/SWATguy528/2A9B19106E4245D384DDE98588F59EFF.png
President Leon James
Alliance Star Confederation

A long and arduous investigation has proven that it was in fact Roef, and not Zukariaa who was the perpetrator of the attack. We would also like to warn the noble Leocardians that Zukariaa may simply be a part in a wider Roef-ian conspiracy that pegs Roef as the reason for global warming, communism, and popped collars.

As the GQJ determined earlier, it is in fact the fault of the Prestonoids for popped collars, much as it is the fault of the Akimonadi for tucking shirts into shorts, not Roef. The government of Jeuna, on these grounds, calls into question the validity of the rest of the investigation.

As the GQJ determined earlier, it is in fact the fault of the Prestonoids for popped collars, much as it is the fault of the Akimonadi for tucking shirts into shorts, not Roef. The government of Jeuna, on these grounds, calls into question the validity of the rest of the investigation.

The Prestonoid fashion industry does hereby claim responsibility for the popped collar. This was an error in judgment, undertaken whilst collectively drunk, for which we profusely apologize.

Official Communication

Indeed, upon further investigation, we would like to retract our previous statement and apologize deeply to the irradiated mutants in Roef for falsely accusing them of any wrongdoing. Our efforts to seek out and persecute the nation responsible for the jorts will continue, despite this setback.

It WAS THE PRESTONOID PRESTOVIET MENACE THAT N00KED V I SWAER D:<

-MAXIMVS D:<

Atlyia, Far Echo Islands

Never had more gaping wide holes formed in human faces than when the President-General and the other officials who conducted the operation watched the streaming video from Leocardia as their chins must have dislocated in a way similar to that of a snake's because it seemed if not held by a non-elasticity of skin, they would have almost surely hit the floor in a cartoon-like fashion.

"Monkey shit." Said a General from the back of the room. No one knew what his words meant, but they knew the point he was trying to communicate was what they all were feeling; that was too complex for words, and there was a low, sub-audible "Uh-huh." from the rest of the room.

Official Diplomatic Letter

http://i40.tinypic.com/9hv2w6.jpg

Desk of the President-General
of
The Federal Republic of the Far Echo Islands

It is our own assessment of this appalling use of nuclear weapons that it did not likely come from any of the four involved nations. The Dante Peakians do not have the capibility to preform such an operation, the Far Echo Islander Fleet was too far from the blast zone to have preformed such an action, we will submit our records if you wish, the Battlehawkians were in no position to make such a move, and surely it would be a most convoluted plan if the Leocardians performed this act upon themselves. This leads us to suspect a third party nation, one that had been watching the conflict closely, but made no statement until this attack, or somehow the act was paid for or otherwise contracted out.

This nation only wishes to contribute what it can to the investigation of this matter, and to send condolences, but does not wish to get any further involved as the Senate has overridden the President-General's deployment order and the Far Echo Islander forces deployed have been ordered back.

Our Deepest Condolences to All Who Perished,



Esteban Valdez, President-General

Official Leocardian Response
The Leocardian Military Operations Command Center rejects the claims of neutrality by the Far Echo Islands as they remained hostile upon entry in the conflict. We wonder why the Far Echo Islands' naval fleet is leaving so suddenly when they could've had carried out a joint investigation. We do demand your records and recorded orders of moving into this conflict, and demand an investigation of the full deployment results in this conflict, as well as the original fleet to be inspected. Any acts against our demands will result in an immediate act of aggression and declaration of war.

Brogavia has recieved credible intel that suggests that it was the Communist Zoinist Homosexual Mexican Abortion Witches for Gun Control and Mass Veganism(CZHMAWGCMS) that nuked Leocardia. Can we haz our moneyz now?

Stoklomolvi says,

"We find the Brogavian accusation that we did it appalling. D:<"

[OOC: Will post real IC tomorrow. Er, later today.]

Official Broadcast
United States of Dante Peak


The United States of Dante Peak is as horrfied at the nuclear launch against the Lecoardian agressors. We must stress that the launch was not on our part, firstly we do not have any submarines near our coast at this time, additionally, we are a small nation. We do not have nuclear capabitly and the Lecoardians claim that we are responcable are rediclious, they must know that a small nation such as ourselves would not have nuclear weapons.

The Cascade Peninshulla has been Soverign USDP terriorty for nearly two hundred years, until a man named Thomas Right, who disagreed with the DP's new pro-human rights legistation, gathered support in part of the DAnte Peak army and took control of the Cascade peninshulla, where multiple human rights abuses have been reported. Under International law the USDP is permitted to reclaim their territory following the break down of negotiotions with Mr Right.

The Lecoardian responce is totally unjustified and appears to be nothing more than an attempt to crush a small nation under boots and gain more land and resources for themselves. USDP forces have been strictly ordered not to engage any Leocardian troops unless fired upon.

The United States of Dante Peak will allow Leocardian investigators to prove our innocence, on the condition that these investigators are NOT accompined by a battaltion of troops. We will also release our action logs to futher prove our innoucence.

OSB and GSB have declared that their intelligence information in this field confirms that Zukariaan involvement was behind the fortunate attacks.

In this apalling day, the Rithic government is prepared to provide military and supply help. If needed, we will aid your armies, whose soldiers must be hurt emotionally from this loss.

OOC: A couple things reading that thread:

1. A 1 kiloton nuke detonated a few kilometers away would not be sufficient to do the damage described to the Superdreadnought. The worst problem they would have to deal with would be the few sailors who were looking right at the nuke when it detonated who are now blind.
2. A 1 kiloton nuke, even one designed to produce the maximum amount of fallout possible, would not drop sufficient amounts of radioactive debris to cause even minor radiation-related symptoms within even a radius of approximately eight kilometers (depending on wind conditions). Therefore, the whole of that peninsula will remain perfectly habitable.
3. Finally, why is everyone fingering Zukariaa? And why is Zukariaa taking the blame? It was the Far Echo Island who initiated the attack, a fact that would become patently obvious once some nuclear debris was collected and the isotopes tested. Which anybody with better then 1950's technology can do.

OOC- Zukariaa takes the blame because Zukariaa did it. Zukariaans are good, honest people.

OOC: A couple things reading that thread:

1. A 1 kiloton nuke detonated a few kilometers away would not be sufficient to do the damage described to the Superdreadnought. The worst problem they would have to deal with would be the few sailors who were looking right at the nuke when it detonated who are now blind.
2. A 1 kiloton nuke, even one designed to produce the maximum amount of fallout possible, would not drop sufficient amounts of radioactive debris to cause even minor radiation-related symptoms within even a radius of approximately eight kilometers (depending on wind conditions). Therefore, the whole of that peninsula will remain perfectly habitable.
3. Finally, why is everyone fingering Zukariaa? And why is Zukariaa taking the blame? It was the Far Echo Island who initiated the attack, a fact that would become patently obvious once some nuclear debris was collected and the isotopes tested. Which anybody with better then 1950's technology can do.

OOC: Thanks, I'll continue the invasion.

“This is Kapetanius Pompus Elitus of the ZkNS Enormous Raucous , do we have orders to launch?”

“That’s affirmative.”

The Kapetani put down the phone and waved his hand at the Comms Officer. The radio crackled, “Prepare for launch. Once we’re finished here we’re moving out.”

Once the order was given, the Enormous Raucous ascended the depths and surfaced several hundred miles from Leocardia. The launch tubes opened, and out shot six Aiur-II missiles, carrying each a payload of 3.8 megatons. Their targets were multiple Leocardian coastal cities. Each of them had spray-painted across them a word of the sentence “Here We Come Again Mother Fucker”.

A sudden attack of the sort was unlikely to be detected and responded to in enough time to be intercepted, and unless Leocardian RADARs scanned an entire ocean several hundred miles away, they were completely unlikely to ever even find the Enormous Raucous . Once launch was completed, the sub descended into the ocean and began moving out for Havenic waters.

Back at home, defenses were put on standby for a possible nuclear retaliation. If the Leocardians did not believe that the Zukariaan Empire had launched the original nuke before, then they would now.

Zukariaa;14365597']“This is Kapetanius Pompus Elitus of the ZkNS Enormous Raucous , do we have orders to launch?”

“That’s affirmative.”

The Kapetani put down the phone and waved his hand at the Comms Officer. The radio crackled, “Prepare for launch. Once we’re finished here we’re moving out.”

Once the order was given, the Enormous Raucous ascended the depths and surfaced several hundred miles from Leocardia. The launch tubes opened, and out shot six Aiur-II missiles, carrying each a payload of 3.8 megatons. Their targets were multiple Leocardian coastal cities. Each of them had spray-painted across them a word of the sentence “Here We Come Again Mother Fucker”.

A sudden attack of the sort was unlikely to be detected and responded to in enough time to be intercepted, and unless Leocardian RADARs scanned an entire ocean several hundred miles away, they were completely unlikely to ever even find the Enormous Raucous . Once launch was completed, the sub descended into the ocean and began moving out for Havenic waters.

Back at home, defenses were put on standby for a possible nuclear retaliation. If the Leocardians did not believe that the Zukariaan Empire had launched the original nuke before, then they would now.

OOC: Ignored. I have subs in the area manning zones.

OOC: Ignored. I have subs in the area manning zones.

OOC - How do you have subs everywhere within hundreds of miles of ocean?

OOC:...your sub patrols arbitrarily shoot at foreign submarines in international waters?

Zukariaa;14365623']OOC - How do you have subs everywhere within hundreds of miles of ocean?

sea turtles mate.

The Nation of The Southern Hexagon believes that the sea turtles are to blame.


http://www.frontier.ac.uk/_library/images/PROUruguayTurtles/uruguay%20sea%20turtles1.jpg

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Stoklomolvi Commissariat of State
7656 Hegemony Drive, Administrative Compound, Office Complex 7C, Hallway 52L, Room 89
Vladistov, Stoklomolvi

Encryption Level 0, Null Encryption
To: [OPEN COMMUNIQUÉ]
Subject: General Statement

Stoklomolvi is angry that its ally through the Comintern, Leocardia, was attacked by a nuclear weapon. We suspect that the Far Echo Islands detonated the nuclear device and claimed to have no information about it seeing as to how they are capable of nuclear technology and were directly engaging Leocardia.

However, we believe that Zukariaa may have supplied the nuke.

http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd188/NS_Crossbowman/sigblock3.png

http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd188/NS_Crossbowman/diploheader5.png
Stoklomolvi Commissariat of State
7656 Hegemony Drive, Administrative Compound, Office Complex 7C, Hallway 52L, Room 89
Vladistov, Stoklomolvi

Encryption Level 0, Null Encryption
To: [OPEN COMMUNIQUÉ]
Subject: General Statement

Stoklomolvi is angry that its ally through the Comintern, Leocardia, was attacked by a nuclear weapon. We suspect that the Far Echo Islands detonated the nuclear device and claimed to have no information about it seeing as to how they are capable of nuclear technology and were directly engaging Leocardia.

However, we believe that Zukariaa may have supplied the nuke.

http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd188/NS_Crossbowman/sigblock3.png

Official Leocardian Response
The Leocardian Intelligence had their suspicion on the Far Echo Islands, and we will trust their ally through Comintern more than the rest of the world's help, due to the fact that no one else had provided us a possible target. We ask for your help in pressuring both Zukariaa and TFEI into giving in.

OOC: Ignored. I have subs in the area manning zones.

[ Nigga what. ]

Official Diplomatic Letter

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Desk of the Defense Minister
of
The Federal Republic of the Far Echo Islands

These Islands have not the faintest inkling on how out name has come up as a suspect in the The Communist Federation of Stoklomolvi investigation. Via Senate Resolution #15AX, first passed in a special session on 01 January 2009 of the Senate at 03:32, vetoed by President-General Esteban Valdez at 05:39, overridden at 07:17 by a 2/3 majority of the Senators mandates that all Far Echo Islander forces deployed by the President-General to vacate the Dante Peakian EEZ and head for the Far Echo Islander EEZ immediately or face court marshal and possible treason charges.

So there was no way that the Federal Republic fired the nuke which was launched on 03 January 2009.

Signed,


Raenel Ojinah, Defense Minister

The Most Serene Imperium wishes to extend its condolences toward Leocardia in this trying time. Our satellites confirm that it was indeed that dastardly Rogue State of the International Jew, Zukariaa.

In compensation for your loss, a 25 megaton goatse-class thermonuclear fission-fusion-fission-fusion warhead is currently en route to your capital city via intercontinental ballistic missile.

Hopefully you will find the gift as satisfying as we will.

-Robert Mugabe IV, Supreme God-Emperor of Haven and Last King of Questers.

The Empire of Orinon also believes that Sea Turtles are to blame. The Empire also believes that its spies are drunken idoits and are not to be listened to.

Samual Jacobs and his real close inbreed couzin Jacob Samuals were rowing their canoe for all the life they could muster.
Being a little tired they stopped and rested, Samual was giggling to himself.

"What ya laughing at?" Samual Jacob asked.

"Well Im kind plumb tickled pink that our nuclear rocket went so high, dang did you see that baby fly" Jacob said

"Yeah well I still think it would have gone further if we had done gone and put a longer wick on the durn thing" samual replied

"Dang you Samual Jacob, aint that just like you, gonna rain on my ideas, twerent me that put that damn wick in anyways, twas you". Jacob responded.

"Twerent me that went and dunnit"

"Twas, but anyhoos, did you see that goddang explosion from that thur warhead thing"

"Sure did, damn that was a bigger bang and flash than when gran pappy salisbury goes to the bog after drinking that brew of his"

"aannd and what about that mushroom thing"

"Damn sure did, wonder why it did that fuurrrr" Samual asked.

"Do you think anyone noticed sam, would it land on any one or thing, do ya thunk"? Jacob asked in reply.

"Shit no cuz, we are way heres in the big ocean, no one will no what the hell what was, or even wo went and done it."

Anyways, we best get back home before Ma wallops us something fierce for using her homebrew as fuel for that rocket thing.

Shite, yea... we could be in real trouble huh.