NationStates Jolt Archive

After the innumerable purchases by major powers such as Salzland and Anghele, the Universal Defence co. has become extremely rich. Their annual income is over 1 BILLION dollars, thanks to continuos orders, and regular purchases. However, the exact amount could not be calculated because our calculater repeatedly gave us error messages because of the sheer amount or money.
As the companies coffers were beginning to overflow, we were forced to devise new ways of storing or making use of this abundance of cash. Everyone from the heads of Daiwiz and Falkasia, down to the lowly janitor who sweeps the 23rd floor sent in ideas, and we have put many of them into practice. We attempted to build armor out of $20 bills, which would include camouflage. Unfortunately, they were too flimsy and too heavy. We next decided to burn some of the money for warmth when the brave soldiers were out on training. However, this caused many angry charities coming after us with sticks, stones, and a warrant. We next donated some to charity, and paradropped the rest all over Falkasia, Daiwiz, and select 3rd World countries. After a disaster of having one transport shot down by sparrows we moved onto bigger and better things.
We have finally devised the greatest waste of money, ever invented all thanks to SSGT.Griggs ((Yes, I took the name from a video game)). We shall build a PYRAMID! Yes, you read me right, a Pyramid! This pyramid shall be made out of gold as the supporting interior, which the blocks of $100 dollar bills shall be built around. We have just gotten the final shipment of money in, graciously donated by Anghele for some of our weapons.
We currently have a workforce of 1,000 people being paid $100/hour for this engineering feet. We currently are short by 1,000 people, and wish for help in this marvel. We can make use of anyone, and we shall pay them the same fee as our own workers. We shall also give the donating country $300-600 per person, depending on their skill, and how desperately we need the persons feild.
Please contact Universal Defence, Daiwizian sector. We are building it within Dr'klowrad, the nations capital.

OOC:Try to top this people!

To: Universal Arms
From: The Emorden-Geist Weapons Manufacturing Corporation

We have commissioned the building of a Super Dreadnought built out of solid gold wrapped in 1,000-Credit bills. One that sails and fires missiles and crap, mind you.

Good day.

((OOC: Salzland a major power? Not to sure about that.))

We are prepared to ship 1,000 construction workers with experience of at least 2 years overseas to your country. They wish for adequate pay however, and will not accept minimum wage.

Official Reply

We have a large Space Station...That beat's gold, right?

Signed,
James Hudson
Acting Secretary of Foreign Affairs

Stoklomolvi says,

"GWO, bugger off. Daiwiz, you need better calculators."

ok...

I'm fairly certain that AMI Corporation's six-month income tops a trillion or more.

You're hardly gigantic.

From the Immortal Lands of the Great Lord Tiger:

Our largest corporation, Evreux Enterprises, is the primary investor of Military Imglotian Arms Manufacturing, Incorporated. The current value of EE's 51% shareholdings in MIAMI is currently estimated at something approaching $367 billion. Your numbers are, in all fairness, pitiful.


On behalf of IMGLOT:

Mr. Willis Hubtar

CEO of Evreux Enterprises

The Immortal Lands of the Great Lord Tiger

Post-Script: Oh yes, and while we're wasting our valuable time and energy sending this transmission to you from another star system: your pyramid is absurdly wasteful of resources and capital.

To: Daiwiz

We have a troll made out of gold in our country. That's lots better, right?

END TELEGRAM

The nation of Kagetora built a super-collider (Large Hadron Collider) made out of solid gold.

Also, Daiwiz, maybe you could get that money to buy a better calculator.
One-three aircraft carriers would cost 1 billion dollars. So what, did each superpower buy one fucking aircraft carrier? Epic.

For that matter, several of the NS calculators say my defense budget is more than 10 trillion dollars

Kagetora;14361951']For that matter, several of the NS calculators say my defense budget is more than 10 trillion dollars

Actually, somewhere on the sunny side of $23.5 trillion, according to NSEconomy (http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=Kagetora).

Zinaire has scientific notation. Clearly, that's more useful.

Glorious Republic of SLOVEDONIA has built over 9000 pyramids out of Churatian skulls D:<

OOC: Daiwiz, I must say... great way to waste our money, lol! I could'n thave though of anything better, expect perhaps build another identical KIT made out of solid gold bars! On a side note, I've tried and tried, and keep coming up with a total combined profit (includes all orders, existing and yearly) of around 3 Trillion total Universal Standard Dollars collected, give or take a few millions. But anyways, that post was funny as hell, caused me to roll on the floor in laugher and nearly choak myself to death with my mouse cord. Good luck man, and maybe we'll see the Universal Defense CEOs laid to rest there!

We made money out of our money.
That pwns all of your shenanigans.

((OOC: Salzland a major power? Not to sure about that.))

OOC: :p

Glad to see all of my taxpayers' hard-earned money is being put to good use

Official Message

To Daiwiz Pyramid Project Manager,

The pyramid you have described, will only result in disaster. The Gold exterior, will only focus to reflect, the rays of the sun, across your city in some type of awe inspiring glow, that will reach a hight, when the sun is directly overhead the pyramid. This will create a great distraction, for all of your workers, who will either by blinded by such sunlight, or, at noon, will all stop what they are doing to look at it. We estimate this to cause a 5% drop in total efficiency over the entire city. If we had been you, we would have used the much better plan, of paving all of your roads with platinum, which, we wish to remind you is far superior to gold, and that roads serve some purpose, as apposed to said pyramid. Thank you, and good night. Might we suggest that you hire a company, to purchase all of that gold from you, to melt it down, and then hire a company to supply platinum, and one with the expertise in road building, to pave your roads in platinum. That would probably be the best solution to your current issues.

Signed,
Gregory Templeton,
CEO, Beatusian Platinum Ltd.,
Owner Beatusian Road Paving Co.
Chairman of the Board, Beatusian Gold Smelting Inc.

Your nation is barely what?... 6 months old? ...I think maybe your golden pyramid is made of...fools gold...

Lawlz, half are finding this hilarious, which is what I meant, and the other half are randomly pissed o.O I wrote this at midnight, cause I had the idea, and was simply laughing my guts out from other random junk I'v found. Anghele has ordered something along the lines of a 4-5 trillion, quite possibly 7-8. This is Anghele alone, and I have checked his military budget, he can aford it.
Salzland has been a big purchaser, farely close to Anghele, espeacially purchasing multiple satellites every year. 4-5. In my opinion, he is one of the larger powers.
This is money that has been built up by the COMPANY over the years, with some assistance from Daiwiz. However, the government isn't giving too much funding, simply because they have more important things to fund.
BTW, I was simply to lazy to look through 30 pages and calculate every last order. In all seriousness, would you? This is like people saying they'v built the largest vessel, spaceship, station, building, whatever.
In some ways, this is meant to be a "My nation wastes more money than yours!" Type of deal. It's purely for fun, and laughter. So stop ruining peoples fun lmfao.

BTW, ppl stop saying that it's the nation of Daiwiz that'd building this, it's the company. The company is split into two leaderships, so as to have equal power since it is jointly run by Falkasia and I. The Daiwizian leadership of the country decided to delve into one half of the money, and build this thing so as to get their name out. Simple as that.


Falk. that is what I plan to do. It shall be the final resting place.

IC:
We wish to thank all of those who have responded to this feat of engineering. We will gladly take any engineers. It is expected to be comepleted within 9 years.

To:Sans Sammes

Well, it is better......for now....
Can it eat people? Or poop out solid gold nuclear ICBMs? If so, The Universal Defence Storefront would be interested in purchasing the design....

OOC: Going by nothing more than population, I'm little more than a ripple in the sea of NS powers. But using what I have, well, that's another story entirely ;)

Thanks for the compliment Dai

I'm fairly certain that AMI Corporation's six-month income tops a trillion or more.

You're hardly gigantic.


THAT. There's many, many corporations IRL that have an income of one billion per year or more, or even pure PROFITS that are bigger. None of them build pyramids out of money.

In NS, there are plenty of corps' with income in the trillions.

More importantly, for your plan, 30 grams of gold cost about $800. Let's say you procured gold at the cheap, cheap price of $600 per 30 grams. Or $20 per gram.

Going by this number, a ton of gold would cost twenty million dollars.

I remind you the pyramid of Cheops had about 6.25 million tons of stone in it.

But say your pyramid contains only a tenth of that - only 625,000 tons of gold. This would require 12.5 trillion dollars to pay just for the gold. Not counting the labor and other stuff that'll go into it.

To: Dawiz
From: Kewenic Economic Kommite.

While we wish to applaud your nation for breaking the one billion dollar mark, we must sadly point out, that Kewens Defence and L/O Budget alone, exceeds Fourty Trillion Dollars NSD, which is to say.

40,000,000,000,000 NS$

40,000,000,000,000

Thats with, Twelve zeros, and this is actually a pittyfully small amount.
The Giant that can only be described as Godly, that being Lyras rakes it 1 trillio per sale maybe, and most Kewenic purchases from said store, are over one trillion.

So congratulations! on building your pyramid of money.

ooc: next time Dawiz, check out what other nations earn before making comments like this, this usually leads to such trolling and spamming as is displayed here and in my post :D have a good day *tipshat and scuttles off*

OOC:
*sends in special forces team and LOTS of helicopters*
*steals pyramid in the middle of the night*
*pyramid? What pyramid? I have no idea what your talking about*

The Alversian People's Republic has announced it will also build a solid gold struture, however, it will not be a mere pyramid, but instead shall be a mighty icosahedron. It will be made with Tesco's brand gold and cost between 2-3 pounds.

Consider yourself topped. :p

OOC: What's up with all of the flaming? This is NationStates, home to MT warships nearly a mile long, MT genetic engineering and powered armor, and the (in)famous missile spam among other things. Aren't there better things to complain about than a corporation that does trillions of dollars in business every (RL) day spending its money as it sees fit?

But go ahead and keep crucifying someone for doing something fun in a sea of threads created by nations with populations below 10 million launching nuclear weapons all over the world. Because I'm sure all of the critics have never, ever done something unrealistic or implausible with their countries during their time here at NationStates. Just as I'm sure everyone that's criticized Daiwiz would love seeing this thread replaced with (and of course participate in) yet another boring, uninspired "Oil Discovered in _______, MT/Open" thread just like they'd participated in this one.

I am also surprised that people are apparently so aggravated about this as to go back over a week and necro this thread. If it frustrated you so much, why not let it die? Or better yet, if you're so aggravated at the nerve of Daiwiz attempting to enjoy himself while playing a game, why not simply not post or even continue reading the thread in the first place?

Go back to your Aircraft Carrier-sized warships carrying tens of thousands of missile launchers and a hundred thousand crew, your isolated cities that can survive and remain under your control despite being scattered across the globe, and your weapons systems that work because someone who posted them on the internet says they do. Stop trying to ruin Daiwiz' harmless fun.

(And in case anyone believes my last paragraph, or any other references are attempts at insults, maliciousness or singling people out, my intent is far from it. I solely wish to point out the number of 'unrealistic' or 'improbable' situations that are widely accepted on NationStates in the interests of 'fun,' in contrast with what gives all appearances of being simply unbelievable levels of out-of-character hatred and malevolence, for lack of any better terms, for something I feel is rather creative and certainly harmless to the NS community writ large)

OOC: What's up with all of the flaming? This is NationStates, home to MT warships nearly a mile long, MT genetic engineering and powered armor, and the (in)famous missile spam among other things. Aren't there better things to complain about than a corporation that does trillions of dollars in business every (RL) day spending its money as it sees fit?

But go ahead and keep crucifying someone for doing something fun in a sea of threads created by nations with populations below 10 million launching nuclear weapons all over the world. Because I'm sure all of the critics have never, ever done something unrealistic or implausible with their countries during their time here at NationStates. Just as I'm sure everyone would love seeing this thread replaced with yet another boring, "Oil discovered in _______, MT/Open" thread.

I am also surprised that people are apparently so aggravated about this as to go back over a week and necro this thread. If it frustrated you so much, why not let it die? Or better yet, if you're so aggravated at the nerve of Daiwiz attempting to enjoy himself while playing a game, why not simply not post or even continue reading the thread?

lol, one way of putting it

However, I shall continue to build my mighty iso_something because I'm in the mood to do something incredible stupid (Like Daiwiz himself) fair play to him and the People's Republic shall assist him by sending a couple of quid we pooled together at the office. It should like nice...We'd visit it.

This has been an official broadcast from the AAC, the Arsing-around Channel.

PS, Our PM shall visit in his massive Presidential Touring Coach (http://marcia.villalba.googlepages.com/vw_bus.preview.jpg/vw_bus.preview-full.jpg)

OOC: Good point Salz.

THE ASD TIMES
Recent reports suggest a gang of criminal masterminds may have formed in New Haven following the announcement by several governments that they intend to create monuments made of pure solid gold and various others incredibly expensive materials. According to an inside source into the ring suggestions so far have included some type of extremely powerful bombs and lots of garbage bags to pick up the pieces. Another Suggestion apparently included thousands of helicopters while yet another included multiple MBTs to tow said monuments away. Apparently no feasible ideas have yet been brought into play.