NationStates Jolt Archive

"This is Shaun Suresh here for AN1 news.After much discussion, exactly 96 death threats, and sheer boredom, Lord Cody Wayne Lowery the second has decided to usher in the first elections in his nation, since the death of his Grandfather, Lord Samuel, some 10 years ago.Lowery is confident his people will support him, and plans on outlawing elections for another decade if he wins.Here is a brief rundown of the candidates"

Lord Cody Wayne Lowery the 2nd, eternal grand ruler of the great nation of Ameriganastan.
Political leaning:Total power to a single elected leader.namely him.

The first released clone of a secret government project, he is almost exactly the 1st Lord Lowery, without the mass murder conviction, execution, and rumors of mental insanity.Though less evil than his first incarnation, he still lover to throw his power around, abusing his citizens into total submission.


Candidate 2: Jefferson Fantana.

Political leaning: Something called a republican.

One of the last surviving members of the Samuel Lowery government, Fantana has taken a stand against the man, who he accuses, of stealing the role of leader.As many know, Lord Cody's father was murdered mere weeks into his reign.The killer has never been captured.If elected, he promises to return his nation to its former state.A free republic, with none of Lowery's brutal dictation.He also has a nice haircut.

Candidate 3: Sasha Joyner.

Political leaning: Something called a democrat.Carl are you making these words up?

A former member of Lord Cody's cabinet, Ms. Joyner has taken this chance to overthrow her boss and assume control.Damn she has a nice ass....i mean if elected, she says she will take Lowery's flawed system, and rework it, maintaining some of his Orwellian policies, but using them only for the good of her nation.

And lastly candidate 4:A crazy one eyed homeless guy.

Political leaning:Leader of the invisible jellybean people.

As his name implies, he is just a crazy, one eyed homeless guy.He lives behind the burger place down the road.If elected, he promises to open the mystic gate of Fallah, lala, woot, and usher in the rule of the invisible jellybean people, who have recently won a war against the evil paper towel monsters from planet Q.

"Those are your candidates.Polling starts today, and will cease on on the 20th of this month.Good luck to all the candidates"

"May the one eyed homeless guy be blessed with victory, long life and many assorted flavours of jellybeans!"

- Bill Bloggs, President, the Homeless Bums Union of Googlewoop

Ahhh, I know of these Republicans and Democrats. In the Denecaep election (also in these forums) we call them Nacilbupers and Tarcomeds.

"We know bring you an early poll update.Only 10 people have voted, but the lead is currently tied, between Lord Lowery, and The crazy one eyed homeless guy.Thats rather surprising actually.A crazy one eyed homeless guy.Thats funny."

"We bring you the latest poll update.In a surprising twist, Jefferson Fantana currently leads the voting, with 52.83% of the votes.Lord Lowery and The crazy one eyed homeless guy are tied with 19.05%, and Sasha Joyner brings up the rear, with only 9.52% of the votes.We shall bring you a new update when the need arises"

From the office of David Hart, Minister of Foreign Affairs.

To whom it may concern,

Our government is in support of any national candidate in our national neighborhood who supports the ideals of freedom and justice. Conservatism should be supported and aided at every opportunity. On behalf of Supreme Chancellor George Townsend, and the people of Stamford Point, it is my honor to announce our support for the Republican candidate, Jefferson Fantana. We would gladly offer a sum of 300,000 Pounds to contribute to his campaign. Should you have any further questions, comments, or concerns, respond to this letter through the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

Prosperity through Peace,

(Sig of David Hart)

To the Honourable Lord Cody Wayne Lowery II,

His Majesty, King William V, believes you to be the most capable and legitimate of those that have been submitted for election. In his infinitesimal generosity, His Majesty has decided to donate £500 million to you for use in bribes or whatever else campaign money is spent on.

His Majesty wanted me to warn you of two of the candidates, Ms Joyner and the one known as a “homeless guy.” His Majesty finds the sanity of these two individuals highly questionable and would be horrified if one of them was to come to power in your state. Neither of us are sure why they have been submitted for election over other certainly more capable men, but we hope that your selection system was working properly and they are not to be elected.

Signed,
The Rt Hon. Jan Sebastien, Lord Chancellor

"We greet you once more with breaking election coverage.Mr. Fantana still holds the lead over Lord Lowery, 43.33% over him, while Lowery trails with 23.33%.Mr. homeless guy sits in third with 20.00%, and Sasha Joyner still trails all the other candidates, with only 13.33%.Time will tell if Lowery can overcome the gap, while ms. Joyner's campaign is looking for a way to pass the one eyed homeless guy.Speaking of which, Mr. Homeless guy has promised free jellybeans for all who vote for him.See you later"

To:Minister David Hart
From:Senator Jefferson Fantana

"Thank you for your endorsement.We accept your donation, but also offer a warning.If Lord Lowery wins, he will most likely try to represent nations not donating to him as a threat.He has that ability over his people.Thank you again, and heres to a win for me, and my nation"

To:his majesty King William the V
From:Lord Cody Wayne Lowery the 2nd

"Wise choice your majesty.We gladly accept the donations of any nation smart enough to endorse me.As for my former cabinet member Ms. Joyner, she will deeply regret running against me.When i win, I'll make sure she gets demoted back to postmaster general.And the homeless guy...I'm not even going to bother with him.I'm sure once he loses, he'll go back to the burger place dumpster where he belongs.Thanks for the money"

Communique from Heirosoloa

Because most of your politicians are not up to the Heirosoloan standards of anti-corruption, we endorse the one eyed homeless man. His humble insanity will most likely send your country into turmoil, where someone actually qualified to lead will stand up. Thank you.

it's all good Ms Sasha Joyner has a nice ass but it not going to get her every thing all the time when she show it off

From
http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t69/zxc_047/Imperial%20MT%20Navy-Army-Air%20Forces/NewMT-PMTMititarySeal.jpg

Communique from Ascelonia

We voted for Lowery, but we hereby endorse the crazy one-eyed homeless man because he is a great qualified leader and we expect great things from him. Of course, he wouldn't be as good as Ali G, but we do anticipate that his leadership would usher in a new age of prosperity for the people of Ameriganastan.

http://www.plasticgames.com/dev/blog_images/awesomeness-seal-1.gif

deer mistar Ascelonia guy

Thanking you for endorsing i.Me make good nice leeder person.The jellybean people thanking you also to.They send present when i wins election.Goodbyes, and thank for endorsement thing, yay!

"Well, as the first day of voting draws to a close, Senator Fantana holds a nice lead over Lord Lowery.Even more surprising, is Lowery slipping to third, behind The one eyed homeless man.And as for Joyner, she is not panicking, siting that she still has 4 days after today.The candidates will meet in Lowery stadium tomorrow for the candidate debate, taking questions from all who wish to ask.Until then, this is Shaun Suresh for AN1 news.Goodnight, and good luck"

"Greetings from Lowery stadium.I, of course, am Shaun Suresh, and i am the moderator for the candidate debate here today.Allow me to introduce the four candidates.Standing farthest right, in the black suit, current grand ruler of Ameriganastan, Lord Cody Wayne Lowery the 2nd" "Thank you Shaun.Remember, vote for me, and I'll give a generous donation to AN1 news" "Thank you sir.Standing next to him, in the blue suit and red tie with the really nice haircut, Senator Jefferson Fantana" "Remember Shaun, vote for me, and i throw this insane despot in prison for the rest of his life" "Noted.Next to him, in the really short skirted suit...damn...Ms. Sasha Joyner" "I already gave you some incentive for my vote.Right Shaun?" "Um....maybe, i don't really recall...moving on.Standing farthest left, in the dirty blue jeans, combat jacket, and tin foil hat, The crazy one eyed homeless guy" "Is this mothership? it look like mothership" "...right.Citizens and travelers here tonight may ask any candidate, or candidates, any questions they wish.Who would like to start?"

"Hello, candidates?" A man stood up. "KMC. Kenavt Media Conglomerate. What are your positions on abortion and gay/lesbian marriage?"

Lowery: "Abortion isn't my problem.If they want to get rid of the kid they got knocked up with at the bar, let them.As for the homosexuals...they just better keep it quiet.I'm not having any damned pride parades in my nation"

Fantana: "Abortion is a crime in my eyes.Some innocent kid never gets to see life because we have these clinics.I think it should be outlawed.Now, on the issue of the gays, i am more neutral to them.If they wish to get married and be miserable like the rest of us, why not let them? it wont hurt anyone"

Joyner: "Well, as a woman, i feel we should have choices on whether to terminate an unborn child.Hell I've had like 7....i mean if i ever had one, its not anyone else's concern.The gays.Well, I'm fine with civil unions, but full on marriage? I don't think so"

Crazy one eyed homeless guy: "Gay is not bad peoples.Me best friend, Blind Jim is gays.And he nice persons.Abortion is not good thing.Me saw me friend, 7 finger Rhonda get one, and she was made very sad by it.Me think abortion is be against law"

"Ah, a submitted question.The citizen wishes to remain anonymous.Dear candidates, what do you think of the other 3 people your running against?"

Lowery: "Well, my opponents, if they even qualify as such, are complete jokes.Senator Fantana is simply the lucky one who escaped the old cabinets execution.He was out of the country.After i win, he will meet the fate he should have met a decade ago.Sasha.Do you really think you have a chance of winning? Your nothing more that a slutty spin doctor.You could have kept your job, but when you decided to challenge me, your choice was clear.Good luck finding a job after i win.And finally, that guy in the tin foil hat...do i even need to explain why hes a joke? How he even got on the poll is beyond me.In short my opponents are as follows.Dead, fired, and going to be sentenced to a mental institute.Thank you"

Fantana: Lord Lowery and Ms. Joyner are both monsters.She has covered for this madman for years, always getting him off the hook for crimes that should land him a life sentence in jail!"

Lowery: "I have no idea what you mean.That Lord Lowery is dead.My rapsheet is clean"

Fantana:"He may be new, but hes still the same.A psycho, who will return to his former versions ways if given time.Joyner will be no different.As for the homeless man, he may be nice, but he has no capacity to run a nation.He cant even drive"

Joyner: "I only covered for Lowery, because he would have killed me if i didn't.I know hes crazy, but i had no chance to topple him until now.Trust me, i am more than just a good spin doctor.I'm a perfectly capable leader.I have nothing but contempt for all 3 of these morons"

Crazy one eyed homeless guy: "Leader man mean.Old man nice.Lady slut.Me friends Hank can prove.Him have video of she with man hooker.That all.Thanking yous all."

"Well I'm afraid we are out of time.I would to thank all 4 candidates for coming here tonight, and i wish...Senator Fantana the best of luck.Thank you and good night from Lowery stadium" *Tacky ending music*

http://img32.picoodle.com/img/img32/3/9/27/f_logo120m_e2dddc4.png

To the Ameriganistani nation,

We hereby support the 'crazy' (some would say enlightened) one-eyed homeless guy, and to that effect, donate to his campaign coffers the sum of 20 bucks. We trust that he will spend it wisely as he makes his bid for the presidency.

Sincerely yours,

http://img28.picoodle.com/img/img28/3/10/2/f_sigm_c1c1dc8.png

James Yunos

Prime Minister

Immortal Lands of the Great Lord Tiger.

deer tiger peoples

thanking for the 20 dollar.Me will buy some food for friend blind Jim and 7 finger Rhonda.

Vote for one eyed homeless guy!

The Salzland Republican Party wishes to make a $1 billion contribution to Senator Fantana, because it feels that paying $1 billion to secure a Lowery-free Ameriganastan is better than launching a regime change. Again.

"Breaking news.Hello, this is Samuel Johnson.Usual AN1 reporter Shaun Suresh was arrested shortly after the candidate debate last night.Shaun served as moderator, and apparently gave his support to senator Fantana as he went off the air.A few hours later, he was arrested by Lord Lowery's private police.The charges include, support of terrorism, and intent to bring harm to Lord Lowery.If convicted, and if Lord Lowery wins, these charges are liable for a death sentence. On a related note, i support Lord Lowery....sorry Shaun.He currently sits in third, trailing senator Fantana, and The crazy one eyed homeless guy"

*Tacky intro music* "This is Samuel Johnson for AN1 news.Lord Lowery still sits in third behind The Crazy one eyed homeless guy, and senator Fantana.We here at AN1 wish Lord Lowery good luck...and...no.Turn off the camera.I've had it.That psycho has one of my best friends locked up.I'm not going to try and convince the viewers to vote for him" *Several soldiers marched on camera, knocking him out with the butt of their rifles and dragging him off* Sorry.AN1 news is currently having technical difficulties.We shall get back on the air when they are resolved.and good luck Lord Lowery.

Official Reply

The Technocratic States of Ascelonia wishes that Joyner and Lowery would team up under the crazy one-eyed homeless guy and drive that great leader into office for Ameriganastan. Fantana is obviously corrupt and evil. We cannot let him take office.

Relay to Ascelonia

No worry.The Lowery's have had run of this sandhole nation for almost half a century.Fantana doesn't have a snowballs chance in hell.Votes don't matter.

Official Message

An anonymous fund raiser group started up and managing to get together $30 in support of the one eyed homeless guy. By vote the council decide to give endorsement to the one eyed homeless guy and and an extra $2.23 was made out of change that people had in their pockets.

"Good afternoon.This is Carl Simmons for AN1 news.Replacement reporter Samuel Johnson is currently locked up in a jail cell.But thats what happens when you insult Lord Lowery.Anyway, as the last day of polling draws on, Lowery's candidacy may be a lost cause.He sits in third, trailing with a rather large margin, behind The crazy one eyed homeless guy, and Senator Fantana.We managed to get a response from our grand Lordship on camera" "I'm not worried.Hell, dying wasn't enough to boot me out of office.I won't be ousted by some pointless election.Here that Jefferson, better quit while your ahead"

[ENCRYPTED]
To: Jefferson Fantana
From: The Avalican Conservative Party

Since our political ideologies quite similar, we support you in this election. Though we are worried for your safety since the moderator was arrested for alleged "terrorism". We will send you 20,000,000 Universal Standard Dollars to serve your campaign, especially against the homeless guy who is gaining pace. Though, we recommend that you invest in some mercenaries and/or bodyguards for your protection, especially on your inauguration. We also recommend that you wear several layers of Kevlar behind your suit. We wish you a successful and especially safe election.

To:The Avalican Conservative Party
From:Senator Jefferson Fantana

"thank you for the donation.And i am quite aware of the danger.I've been wearing a bullet proof vest under my suit since i put my name on the ballot.Lowery will most likely try something fishy before i can get sworn in.I'm considering getting sworn in, in a secret bunker.Anyhow, thank you, and heres to my campaign"

OOC:a day or two late, but oh well

IC:"This just in.Jefferson Fantana has been elected grand leader of Ameriganastan.We now go live to Lowery stadium, where he is prepared to speak to his supporters" "Greetings all of you.I know how you have suffered these past 11 years under Lowery's rule.But, at long last, it is over.My only worthwhile opponent, the one eyed homeless man, will be placed in a special hospital, where he will no longer have to live on the streets.As for Lord Lowery...i mean former Lord Lowery, and his little sidekick Ms. Joyner, are going to be tossed in prison for their evil acts over the past decade.Thank you my people, and long live Ameriganastan!"

The government of Miami Jai-Alai congratulates the new Republican conservative President of Ameriganastan, President Jefferson Fantana. For his election victory with 43.06 % of the vote over his closest rival with 29.17 % of the vote a victory by 13.89 %. Not bad Mr President.

Miami Jai-Alai wishes to establish full economic, political and social relations with your nation and people. We appoint Ambassador Alberto Garcia. Please post your ambassador to our nation.

Foreign Affairs Minister, Elian Gonzalez
National Council of Ministers
Hispanic Republic of Miami jai-Alai

President Lincoln Diaz-Balart
Vice President Ileana Ros-Lehtinen.