Allanea
12-12-2008, 22:41
Somewhere in the Axackal Straight, aboard the SS Joyride
Alexander Kirillovich Kazansky, the former Emperor of Greater Prussia, and currently President of the United States, leader of the Confederacy of Sovereign States, stretched happily in the morning sun. Life was good.
His current yacht – the SS Joyride, one of the world's few privately owned Type 12 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=563322) craft – was currently sailing the Axackal Strait, crewed by admirors of the President-for-Life and carrying some of his closest assistants and friends.
And so here he was, relaxing in a recliner chair on the prow of the Joyride. Sitting to his right and left were his favored disciples, and in his hand was a gold-plated cup made out of the skull of Emperor Garf. Somewhere in the distant past Garf was the commander of an eighty-million man army – and a man who dared to oppose Allanea. Now the Emperor was a cup full of excellent champagne.
“Now, see, Will, the issue is...” - he interrupted himself as a pair of young Vaultian girls, dressed in T-shirts that were obviously too small and skirts which were even more obviously so, appeared on deck.
“Oh, look whom we have here. Janice, Layla, what have you brought us?”
“Some Karshkovian Red Lumpfish, Sashen'ka.” - one of the girls replied as she placed a tray upon the small beach table to the President's right, between him and the apprentice called “Will”. The tray was full of small bits of white bread, covered with red caviar.
“And some of their wonderful champagne, I see you're running out.” - said the other girl, dropping an ice bucket on the table to his left, between him and his other apprentice.
“Mmm, excellent.” - Kazansky noticed that Will was eyeing the girl called Janice with badly-concealed lust. This obviously limited his choices. “Layla, honey. Let me put it in an obvious manner. I'm bored and there's still place in this chair.”
As Layla perched herself next to the President, Kazansky smiled happily. “Now, now, this is not fair. Do you see me wearing a shirt? Do you see Will wearing a shirt? Look at that sun! That's no weather for a shirt, is it?”
“A valid point.” - Layla grinned, throwing off hers – or rather, pulling off with a certain effort and throwing it nonchalantly toward the stern.
“Ah, that's more like it.- the President for Life noted as he finished his skull cup. - “But anyhow,” - he continued, hugging the Vaultian with his left hand. “Layla, Janice, help yourself, I'm not going to drink all the booze and eat all the caviar myself, am I? And yes, Will, we need to make it clear with the Cots.”
“What do you mean? I don't quite follow?” - the apprentice said. He was slightly distracted by his conversation with Janice, whose red hair and body shape was quite as impressive as the Joyride's armament suite.
“Ah, that's simple. I understand that the Cots are moving towards a new colonization drive. And I have a shitload of money coming in from my various business ventures (http://z12.invisionfree.com/Allanea/index.php?showtopic=71). So I'm thinking of a way to keep them off Clarkson Island... it's actually quite simple.”
“What do you mean?”
“Mmm, Layla, keep doing that, that's marvelous... see, way I figure it, they'll keep of the island... and allied colonies and power will expand... and we'll improve our relations... now we need to get Pavel...”
* * *
From: Alexander Kazansky
To:The King of Cotland
Subject: Your Colonies
My dear friend!
As you may know, I am quite in favor of your expansionist, colonial tendencies, though I may have issues with your colony on Clarkson Island. As such, I would like to offer to donate to you some money – specifically, a one-off payment of five trillion and fifty billion dollars, to allow you to expand your colonies in the Haven Straits further.
The money will be distributed as follows: Four trillion will be given directly to the government of Cotland, to be put in an earmarked account dedicated to colonial expansion. One trillion will start an independent program of aid to Cotlandi families willing to buy houses in your colonies other than Clarkson island.
You might be asking yourself, what is the catch? For one, I would like you to avoid spending this money on the old Clarkson Island, so as to avoid causing my friends in ALC undue consternation. Spend it itself on the new island, or your colonies in the East, or your other new colonies. Second, I want it to be known to your people that I am the one giving you this money, so as to help make my country more popular among the Cotlandi.
Finally, fifty billion dollars are to be used to start a promotional program in Cotland – namely advertising my one-trillion aid fund and promiting the colonization. 'A New Life Awaits You In the New Crown Colonies' or something like that, I'm sure Cotland has plenty of experienced, talented copywriters.
I hope you will agree to this profitable offer.
Sincerely yours, Alexander Kazansky.
P.S. I am sending you a shipment of the Stossel Te Royale that I know you love, and a case of prime-quality Allanean chocolates.
Alexander Kirillovich Kazansky, the former Emperor of Greater Prussia, and currently President of the United States, leader of the Confederacy of Sovereign States, stretched happily in the morning sun. Life was good.
His current yacht – the SS Joyride, one of the world's few privately owned Type 12 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=563322) craft – was currently sailing the Axackal Strait, crewed by admirors of the President-for-Life and carrying some of his closest assistants and friends.
And so here he was, relaxing in a recliner chair on the prow of the Joyride. Sitting to his right and left were his favored disciples, and in his hand was a gold-plated cup made out of the skull of Emperor Garf. Somewhere in the distant past Garf was the commander of an eighty-million man army – and a man who dared to oppose Allanea. Now the Emperor was a cup full of excellent champagne.
“Now, see, Will, the issue is...” - he interrupted himself as a pair of young Vaultian girls, dressed in T-shirts that were obviously too small and skirts which were even more obviously so, appeared on deck.
“Oh, look whom we have here. Janice, Layla, what have you brought us?”
“Some Karshkovian Red Lumpfish, Sashen'ka.” - one of the girls replied as she placed a tray upon the small beach table to the President's right, between him and the apprentice called “Will”. The tray was full of small bits of white bread, covered with red caviar.
“And some of their wonderful champagne, I see you're running out.” - said the other girl, dropping an ice bucket on the table to his left, between him and his other apprentice.
“Mmm, excellent.” - Kazansky noticed that Will was eyeing the girl called Janice with badly-concealed lust. This obviously limited his choices. “Layla, honey. Let me put it in an obvious manner. I'm bored and there's still place in this chair.”
As Layla perched herself next to the President, Kazansky smiled happily. “Now, now, this is not fair. Do you see me wearing a shirt? Do you see Will wearing a shirt? Look at that sun! That's no weather for a shirt, is it?”
“A valid point.” - Layla grinned, throwing off hers – or rather, pulling off with a certain effort and throwing it nonchalantly toward the stern.
“Ah, that's more like it.- the President for Life noted as he finished his skull cup. - “But anyhow,” - he continued, hugging the Vaultian with his left hand. “Layla, Janice, help yourself, I'm not going to drink all the booze and eat all the caviar myself, am I? And yes, Will, we need to make it clear with the Cots.”
“What do you mean? I don't quite follow?” - the apprentice said. He was slightly distracted by his conversation with Janice, whose red hair and body shape was quite as impressive as the Joyride's armament suite.
“Ah, that's simple. I understand that the Cots are moving towards a new colonization drive. And I have a shitload of money coming in from my various business ventures (http://z12.invisionfree.com/Allanea/index.php?showtopic=71). So I'm thinking of a way to keep them off Clarkson Island... it's actually quite simple.”
“What do you mean?”
“Mmm, Layla, keep doing that, that's marvelous... see, way I figure it, they'll keep of the island... and allied colonies and power will expand... and we'll improve our relations... now we need to get Pavel...”
* * *
From: Alexander Kazansky
To:The King of Cotland
Subject: Your Colonies
My dear friend!
As you may know, I am quite in favor of your expansionist, colonial tendencies, though I may have issues with your colony on Clarkson Island. As such, I would like to offer to donate to you some money – specifically, a one-off payment of five trillion and fifty billion dollars, to allow you to expand your colonies in the Haven Straits further.
The money will be distributed as follows: Four trillion will be given directly to the government of Cotland, to be put in an earmarked account dedicated to colonial expansion. One trillion will start an independent program of aid to Cotlandi families willing to buy houses in your colonies other than Clarkson island.
You might be asking yourself, what is the catch? For one, I would like you to avoid spending this money on the old Clarkson Island, so as to avoid causing my friends in ALC undue consternation. Spend it itself on the new island, or your colonies in the East, or your other new colonies. Second, I want it to be known to your people that I am the one giving you this money, so as to help make my country more popular among the Cotlandi.
Finally, fifty billion dollars are to be used to start a promotional program in Cotland – namely advertising my one-trillion aid fund and promiting the colonization. 'A New Life Awaits You In the New Crown Colonies' or something like that, I'm sure Cotland has plenty of experienced, talented copywriters.
I hope you will agree to this profitable offer.
Sincerely yours, Alexander Kazansky.
P.S. I am sending you a shipment of the Stossel Te Royale that I know you love, and a case of prime-quality Allanean chocolates.