NationStates Jolt Archive

Official Message from the Allanean Government

Now that the first stage of the Blackhelm-Allanea War is over, we would like to request a meeting with the corporate and government leadership of the Blackhelm Confederacy. We will bring the leadership of Allanea, Liberty Networks Corporation, Allanean Arms Corporation, Hammond Motors Company and several other entities to the table, and expect you to make a similar effort. We will meet in the Praetonian colony in Blackhelm.

On the agenda will be the following:



The method of international cooperation between Allanea and Blackhelm.
Helping to destroy Islamic and Communist terrorism in the Confederacy while helping to rebuild interracial tolerance.
Assigning the 10-trillion Confederate infrastructure budget.
The nature of the 1.5 trillion Griffincrest Contract



We will be there within 10 days.

Thank you for your attendance.

Jack Phoenixclaw was going to Albandaea to represent Griffincrest, and was with Lucius Blackhelm, the Chancellor of the nation, and several other reprensentatives from various other groups around the Confederacy, all going to meet with the Allaneans to work out the treaty.

The Allanean aircraft – a single ViZion-made passenger airliner – circled the city as it prepared for descent. It was carrying a crowd of Allanean officials and corporate bigshots that were going to discuss the implementation of the new treaty.

The airplane was soon on the runway and the delegates met and all of those nice things. It was not long before the men were brought to the building in which the meeting was soon to take place.

The men all shufled in and took their respective seats along a long dark oak table, and soon the meeting began.

"Very well," - spoke Alexander Kazansky - "I understand that your nation's armed forces are somewhat lacking. I am willing to give you weapons. Consider that as part of the infrastructure development funding. However, I would give them to the Confederacy - NOT to Griffincrest. And if I give you weapons... I want to see them used."

General Marcus Blueshield, the man unto whom the responsibility of the entire military was entrusted, became very flustered by that statement.

"Lacking? Lacking you say? I think not! The AR-22A3 is one of the most reliable assault rifles in the world, and our missile and space systems are top notch. Our partners in Russia assure us that we receive the newest technologies out of their nation as soon as they come out, and the Chinese do the same for Redemption. If there is anybody who needs weapons, my good man, it is the Allaneans...or need we look upon the casualties once more, hmm?"

Many others in the Confederate entourage echoed similar statements, others nodding in silent agreement.

The Head of Senate, Cornelius Pureheart, then chimed in.

"Bear in mind, Mr. Kazansky, that you incurred nearly six times the casualties that we received, and that was prior to actually even facing our forces in open warfare. Had you attempted a landing, your situation would have been far worse. The stench of your roasting paratroopers is still drawing complaints from citizens all over the Western Province."

"No, we did not incur six time more casualties. You achieve this number by fierce overestimation. That you use the AR-22A3 – a contraption made by Phoenix Dynamix of all people – is testimony to your military ineptness, Oh One Whose Navy Rests At The Bottom Of The Sea. That rifle, if I am not mistaken is a bullpup chambered in an elephant-hunting round – which means it'll first crack your shoulder with mindblowing recoil, and then, if you're left-handed, eject a huge red-hot cartridge into your face. According to the manufacturer, the rifle has an effective range of not more than 800 meters – that's worse than a Doomani carbine. Jesus. We have some Mosins in stock that might help you out."

"At any rate, I am offering you some B-22's which I will not be using due to the downsizing of the Allanean Air Force, and some other equipment. This is not because I am kind and merciful, though, as your former minions in Kergalistan will soon learn, my mercy is indeed almost unbounded. This is because I want the fucking commies to fucking die."

"Any questions?

"You seem to see not what our military does...we do not chamber our guns with as you say 'an elephant hunting round', and the rifle does not need to be effective at ranges in excess of eight hundred meters...we fight in the jungles and on beaches, not on the open plains as our landscape lacks such a geography" the general said as his face reddened.

"From as far as we can tell, your casualties are indeed that high, do not be so full of yourself Kazansky, we do not fear your military. You sink our fast attack vessels, we sink your battleships" the Head of Senate piped in once again.

"And watch your tongue..we do not swear here...or are you some kind of peasant" Quintus Blackletter, the Chief Advisor to the Chancellor said.

"Gentlemen, the Allaneans offer us a valuable aquisition here, our fleet has only a very small number of B-22's. Tell us more, what else can you give us?" said Gaius Whiteboot, the Commander of the Air Force.

“You know, I would fucking point to my previous releases on this issue, but let us get back to work. Some of us prefer work to name calling. It appears that you have an... issue with Communist guerrillas in this country. I would like to give you, as part of the development funds we speak of, equipment that would be helpful if you want to suppress them. Bombers to destroy rebel bases, UAVs to be forewarned against rebel attack, equipment with which to defuse bombs planted by the rebels.”

Kazansky got up. “It is a lie told by the historians that guerrilla wars are unwinnable by regular forces. America won Iraq. Britain won the Anglo-Boer wars. Russia won in the Baltics. I want to see you kill the communist fuckers dead and pile up their bodies. I will give you whatever equipment, funding, and training is necessary and if the CSS funding runs dry, I will donate my own cash for the cause.”

“You will start with B-22 flight groups. We will introduce... say, one thousand B-22s over the course of the next ten years, and training for your flight and ground crews will be provided. On the ground, I can provide a pile of Doomani urban warfare vehicles, which Allanea is not supposed to have, but which we procured via our foreign contacts. I will also train troops on the use of the D-9 combat bulldozer, and any other anti-guerilla equipment necessary.”

“In addition – which company here makes cars? - I will allow for 500 billion dollars of Confederate money to go towards building ten car factories, which shall put out DAA automobiles and other similar cars, with a total output of 2,000,000 cars per year. The companies will be built by a Vaultian company and turned over to... some Blackhelmian car manufacturer. This will be a manner of fighting Communism... in a sideways manner.”

"Again with the swearing...peasant" the aging Blackletter muttered.

"I am the major manufacturer of vehicles here" spoke Octavius Goldsword, a sixty something year old man in a fancy suit.

"But there is no way we will be able to produce that many cars per year, and besides, how does this fight communism?"

“Consider this. A car – even a cheap one – is, of course, the man's first true serious bit of private property, outside of his home. People who own cars can now spread out from urban centers, purchasing cheap suburban homes rather than appartments – essentially, bringing themselves closer and closer to what is referred to by the commies as the bourgeois-capitalist lifestyle.”

“A man with a $2500 car living in a $10,000 suburban home is a middle-class man. His aspirations are different from a man whose entire life has been spent huddling in a $10,000 appartment in an inner-city human hive. He is an individual. And he has something for the communists to hate and take.”

“Some believe that it is the introduction of private cars – the Zhiguli and Zaporozhetz series – was one f the main reasons that Soviet society finally collapsed, on par with Afghanistan and the arms race. Whether this is true I cannot tell, but what I know is that socialists and communists of all stripes hate the private car.”

“At any rate, Mr. Goldsword, I do not mean to challenge your leadership position. The factories will be transferred to your company when they are completed.”

"Hmm....cars to fight communism...I suppose this could work.." Octavius said, stroking his chin.

"Enough of this, what of our contract?" said Jack Phoenixclaw, the Griffincrest representative.

"Mm. Polite and subtle like an Allanean, you are." - Kazansky said, imitating a forgotten TV figure. - "Go far, you will. Seriously, we need one point five trillion worth of fuel, explosives, and construction labor in the next ten year. I am sure you can supply them."