NationStates Jolt Archive


A Step Upwards [Public Announcement, FT]

Allanea
31-10-2008, 18:21
Orbit of an random uninhabitable system 500 light-years from Sol

Alexander Kazansky stood on the bridge on the SS The Fieldmarshal's Pride as the ship tore into realspace. Around the giant ship, shreds of matter spun uselessly – bits of rock, ice, and gas. The system housed no planets.

The Allanean President smiled as he pulled a youthful Girl Scout close to him. “Hey, Bambi.” - he chuckled - “Want to see something really awesome?”

'Bambi' was actually Beniella Ferrox, a random (though, as usually, attractive) follower of the Allanean President, chosen among dozens to accompany him on his journey. “Sure, Alex.”

“Well, look here.” - he pointed to the control screens, filling an entire wall of the bridge. On the screens, there was nothing but space debris, and the glowing sun of the new system.

Some centuries ago, Alexander's friend, Kevin Nivensky, had recruited his assistance in a giant scam, with which quadtrillions of dollars were wheedled away from unsuspecting foreign governments. In essence, it was something like Tom Sawyer's fence scam, except on a far grander scale.

The money could not be released on the Allanean market, for it would crash the nation's economy. The two men had hid most of it in secret accounts across the multiverse, in which most of the cash still lay undiscovered. Yet some of it was used – to purchase artifacts, secret knowledge, or colonies everywhere.

And now, Kazansky possessed the ultimate artifact.

He paced towards the control boards, the young Girl Scout following.

“How old are you, Bambi? Seventeen, right?”

“Yes, Mr. Pre- I mean, Alex.”

“Good.” - the Boy-President smiled benevolently, as he suddenly swept the young girl off her feet and onto the control board. He then kissed her passionately, even as his hand folded up her beige uniform skirt.

“Was this... the awesome thing you wanted to show me?” - the girl gasped a few minutes later, as the demigod broke off the kiss.

“Oh no. That's just the introduction.” - Kazansky smacked a button on the command console.

* * *

Around the ship, matter began to disintegrate, falling into the primordial soup that preceded the birth of Sol, that precedes the birth of all solar systems - and then, to reform itself, to swirl at incredible speeds around the ship.

The process was not energy-efficient – from the system, waves of hard radiation, of heat and light emanated in every direction.

* * *

“Oh God.. Oh God...” - somewhere in a different universe, Bambi heard her uniform buttons snapping rapidly, as the President grabbed the lapels of her shirt and ripped it off her in a single, fluid motion. She could not – nor did she want to – resist this, so complete was her intoxication with pleasure.

* * *

Within the first hour, the system was stripped clean of debris, and several large bodies have been created. Chief among them, hanging in a textbook-perfect stable orbit, was a newborn planet.

It had no life yet.

But by God, it had potential.

* * *

The Girl Scout twitched and screamed, pleasure rolling over her body in yet another paroxysm. For a few seconds, she could see nothing, as if blinded by her own extasy. She kicked haphasardly with her feet, her heavy combat boots, by now her only article of clothing, scraping against the control keyboard's surface.

* * *

The Old Testament story was now retold on the surface of this new world. Within the secnond hour, its athmosphere was born, capable of sustaining the most basic life. Then, its surface was covered with green grass, its oceans were filled with fish and algae. Trees, flowers, even cacti appeared on land, and birds screamed their first cries in the sky.

And then, there was quiet.

* * *

When Beniella regained her wits, she was lying face-down on the control board, wearing nothing but her glasses, combat boots and socks. She wondered for a second if she pressed something important – and then she heard something clank onto the board right in front of her head.

It was a flat-based, gold-plated cup made out of someone's skull.

“What the-”

“I made it out of a Doomani skull.” - Kazansky smiled - “It has a Pink Sunrise cocktail in it, and a straw so you don't have to get up to drink it – just lift your head a little, and there you go.”

“Why don't you want me to get up, Sasha?” - replied Beniella - “ Do you have something dirty in mind?”

“Well, does snorting crack off your back while I drink champagne out of this here cup -” he waved a different skullcup around, this time mounted on a thin 'leg' for drinking - “and make my press release announcement sound particularly dirty?”

“You want me to get naked on the ESUSnet?!” - Beniella chuckled at the image.

“You're already naked. Besides, I somehow think that any objections you might have to this will disappear once I tell you how much you get paid.”

Beniella's smile grew wider. She never intended to object, really, but once the money was offered...

* * *

And so, ten minutes later, the world was treated to an image of Alexander Kazansky, in an exquisite suit, standing in front of the control board, with Beniella between him and the viewer (the camera was helpfully mounted inside the infoscreen).

On Beniella's back there was a line of white powder, and she winked to the viewers as the President bent over and snorted the entire line through a straw.

Ah.... greetings, fellow sapients.

As you already realized, I'm Alexander Kazansky, and this lady here is Beniella Ferrox, from New Jacksonville, Weaver. That substance I just consumed is – was - prime Allanean Pharmaceuticals cocaine.

You may wonder why am I talking to you..

Kazansky takes a large sip from what used to be the head of the Lord of the Pits, the Dark God of the Antanjylians. Where was I? Ah, yes.

You see, Allanea has now in its possession devices that allow us to create worlds – entire worlds, yes! - from scratch within but a few hours. I own – hear me, own! - one of these devices as my personal property. I have just created a world in less than four hours, and I plan to rest for the entire week.

Just now, I have created a new world from scratch. It has a flourishing ecosystem. It is beautiful in every single way – just was this lady here, Miss Beniella Ferrox. Thus, I name the world's star after this fine young woman – Beniella.

“Oh, Sasha!” - gasps the Girl Scout.

Some of you have doubted Allanea, some of you have even hated us. That is all in the past as we step into a new age of affluence and glory. We now take a stand as our own supercivilization. For that is, and was always, our destiny – as Allaneans. As Freemen.

That is our future – no matter who, or what, shall try to stand in our path.

That is all. May God continue to Bless Allanea.
New Dornalia
31-10-2008, 19:36
As Comrade Premier Robert MacIntyre was sitting down having his own sort of fun--drinking his brains out with a bottle of the finest scotch whisky in front of the TV cussing at random newspeople--he came upon Chess Headman issuing a special report that replayed the tape. As it was live, Dornalian censors quickly put the usual "pixels" on the lady fawning over President Kazansky--but that didn't stop Robert from spitting out his whisky and leaning forward, going "Holy shit!" It wasn't the nudity and the coke that got his attention--that was par for the Allanean course--but the fact that they could now build planets. Honest to God planets.

Calling up Junko Tadanobu, whose Acolytes helped Kazansky build his own Jedi order, he asked, "Yo, Terry. Did you see the Kazansky thing?"

"Jesus Christ, Rob. The name's not Terry, it's Junko.....I've told you not to use any permutation of the name Tereza, ever, in my presence. And yes, I did. Good lord, that has rock-star excess written all over it. Remind me to tighten the drug and sex parts of our Code and Oath at the next Grand Council meet."

"I dunno Junko," MacIntyre said. "You did kinda let Alex K have GC priveleges. He wouldn't be happy. Besides, Dornalians like to drink, and I know you have a thing for calpirinhas. So let's not go there."

"Meh. Just saying, it's kinda....odd. Within the rules, since he seems to know what he's doing, but it's something worrisome."

"Junko, that's the Allaneans for ya. They're not known for playing by conventions. After all, why'd they come to us for Force training instead of another Forceusing group?"

"Touche." She then hung up.
Orthodox Gnosticism
31-10-2008, 20:12
Geminion
The Temple of Hebe, Ithica

The beautiful temple of the goddess of youth, glistened in the early light of dawn. The air filled with incense, as the gold covered temple walls shined with the glory of the lords themselves. The statues of young children made of white marble stretched their arms out, holding a gentle bronze pan, filled with flames, as they looked to each other with a loving gaze, towards the dawn.

The bells began to ring out across the temple, as Oracle and Priest began to walk down the long precession to their devoted goddess, the goddess of youth, the first daughter of the Cow-eyed goddess Hera. Their robes were white, as they chanted in the old tongue of Geminion the prayers of the day, the pleads to their goddess to anoint them with purity and virtue.

As they prayed, one of the elders of the temple walked over towards the large statue of the bare breasted lord of Kobol. The statue looked down unto the crowd, and held a large water jug, one that constantly flowed of the holy water of the temple, through various pumps and drains.

Kneeling down next to the statue, the Oracle of Hebe spoke up. “Lord of Kobol, First born daughter of Hera and Zeus hear my prayer. This is a day and age of turmoil, a day in which many evils lurk, to defile and slander not just your people and faithful followers, but of all the peoples of this universe. Lady Hebe, grant us the peace and decency to know right from wrong.”

She then paused for a moment, as the Oracle looked up towards the icon of her devoted lord. “Please forgive those in this universe who dare to usurp your power. The Allarians, have in defiance of the gods and lords decided to take it upon themselves the mantle of the lords. Do not smite them my goddess, but forgive them. Show them mercy, and virtue. Please hear my prayer.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Caprica City, Caprica

Representitive Baltar took in a deep breath. He stared blankly at the television screen, his right hand full of whiskey. The glass was warm, as the man took in the robust flavor of the dark liquor before him. “Ah, that is perfect.” the man spoke as he watched the news broadcast on his flat screen television.

His eyes glued towards the television, as the uncensored Colonial broadcast flowed with the images broadcast. His eyes were wide as the man took in another sip of his drink. “Simply amazing.” the man spoke.

“What are you admiring, the ability to create a world, or the woman?” the voice of Six spoke to him.

Baltar slowly spun around in his chair and faced the blond cylon. “What if I said both?” he replied smirking to the woman.

Six gently walked over to him. Her fingers outstretched, she touched his knee, and slowly pulled her hand closer towards his thigh. “I would say that you are showing your humanity. The desire to be a God, and your more animalistic nature.” she said as she began to squeeze his leg hard.

“Ow.” Baltar yelled, “What the frak are you doing?” he screamed under the cylons pressure.

Then she vanished. He turned back and looked at the screen. Shaking his head, he reached for the remote and shut off the screen.
Allanea
31-10-2008, 21:11
OOC: So this thread is now Gaius Baltar approved? :D
Solar Communes
31-10-2008, 21:14
When worlds could be built in any way, any time, anywhere by anyone, in a reality parallel to that of the physical world, the idea of constructing a planet from scratch with matter rather than data was only a distant, megalomaniac dream for people with problems of self-esteem related to the length of certain members. Simulated realities were the big deal for a long time, and nobody ever cared about the difference. They could feel, smell, breathe the purest air of an alien world, without a single grain of sand used for the same world to be built. It was perhaps fitting, that in one of many worlds, a planet known as Sodom, the ultimate expression of porn, with seas filled with tentacles and lands loaded with nymphomaniacs of all options and genders, was the first simulated world to become aware of the news in realspace about the immature, silly and banal transmission of the Allaneans. Of course, whatever happened on the background was of no relevance to what happened right there. Another work of pornography among the trillions that they have stored.

In a massive hall, inscribed by the meaning of "Rule 36", a massive, nearly eternal orgy was being performed, much beyond the limits of the human body, where men, women, individuals with pointy ears, bizarre hovertanks with dubious appendages, playing cards, doorknobs, porta-potties, flying spaghetti monsters, human blood, coca leaves and flying phalluses were engaged into a truly otherwordly bacchanal proving once again that if something exists, someone has a fetish for it. Amidst the chaotic, wild party, enough to make Slaanesh proud despite being part of a simulated reality, a stark naked woman, after deciding to take a break, noticed as a translucent screen just spawned ahead of her, by her very request, showing the "announcement" of Kazansky. To her left, a woman embraced her, and to her right, a man did it. They were old buddies in this libertine realm, used to the exhausting marathons of pleasure and to things that would probably sell even in Neo-Mekanta.

"Look at that bitch over there! Seems like their president is a teenager with an excess of hormones, and a lack of finesse. When you need a world to prove your worth, it really means fail. Maybe that's what got us through all the past crap, a bunch of losers with nothing better to do than making a world from scratch. Bah, it's boring as hell, then they decided to heat things up by... adding aggressive tendencies over their creation. Anyway, this is just another one like that superdreadnought."

"Ah.. that one. Seems like they have taken hundreds years and not changed an inch over what they have always been. I'm almost inclined to agree with an ancient article written by an ancient nation called Olmedreca about them. Perhaps they are just dumb, and the fact they developed sentient AIs made them even dumber." answered the man, who was likely trying to finish it soon so they could get back to pleasure.

The woman between both friends, thinking about the case, had an idea however. that girl with the president of Allanea would certainly be an welcome addition to their party, and perhaps it was the time for their invitation to be sent to her. Perhaps just linking with the ESUS net could do the job, or perhaps she would have to be physically present in their system, but it was worth a try:

"Just another footnote in history. We have more pressing matters to worry about, like getting more people for the next bacchanal. Maybe this Beniella, who knows? This place in the multiverse of data can ensure pleasure much beyond what lies in the multiverse of matter, and I'm sure that slutty hottie won't have any problems joining in. So everything set I hope, or don't you agree in bringing her to a less boring world than that expensive crap of someone with an ego bigger than his own dong. With a present like this, I wonder why they won't just embrace anarchy."

"Hey, I want to take on this Beniella! She won't regret this place for sure. Now we all agree, let us send the message?"

"Sure, send it to all of them! This place will really become even greater!"

And thus they walked into the fray again, as a message was sent to many Allaneans, among them Beniella, but the president was not on the list of invitees.

Congratulations, you have been invited for the most popular world of Solar Communes. You will even forget it is not made of matter, and the depths of detail will be so great that pleasure will extend beyond what is possible in reality. To join just see the informational advertisement below. It's completely free of charge.


* = * = * = * PLANET SODOM * = * = * = *

DROWN THE CEREMONY OF INNOCENCE
PARTY IN THE BLOOD-DIMMED TIDE
LOSE ALL CONVICTION IN OTHERWORDLY PLEASURE

FEATURING:
Flying penises
Tentacles
Hot women and men
Gayniggers from Outer Space
Anything anyone has a fetish for.

EXCEPT FOR ONE THING

Furries and Xenos GTFO

SolarComm.qnet://universe1/bacchus/planetsodom No.Clothes.No.Prudishness.No.Morals.No.Thing.No.Where.No.Cops
Yes.Drugs.Yes.Sex.Yes.Dance.Yes.Terday

ALMOST EVERYTHING IS PERMITTED
Orthodox Gnosticism
31-10-2008, 21:38
OOC: So this thread is now Gaius Baltar approved? :D

Of course :)
The American Privateer
31-10-2008, 22:41
Rebecca St. James sat in her chair and twitched at the image on her screen.

"What have I gotten into..." she muttered, watching the newscast. She called up an image of the ship formerly known as the TS Iapetus (http://www.tyromag.com/Movies/TitanAE/images/titanae%20title.jpg). It was a great golden ball with three engines at the bottom and a set of three ports on the sides to allow for the transformation of disparate bits of interstellar debris into entire planets.

Still, she felt she should congratulate the Allaneans for their succesful run with the ship. Even if she did find the image of a leader with a naked, underage girl on interstellar screens more than slightly disturbing.

"We would like to congratulate the people of Allanea for their successful use of the Titan Class vessels. We hope that they shall be responsible in their use of the vessel, one of three sold to them, and that they will put the vessels to good use."

Rebeca shut down the link, and pinched her nose between her fingers. Pushing a button on her desk she said quite simply, "Note to self: Never sell Titans to anyone. Ever."

OOC: For those wondering what it looks like when the ships is activated see this video (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5086131935277116013&ei=RYALSZmAMoqK_QH7rcSXCg&q=Titan+AE)
Allanea
01-11-2008, 00:00
OOC: For the record, Kazansky looks as if he's 18. Also, Allanea's age of maturity is 16.