Allanea
20-10-2008, 03:10
Jesus of Najaster
Camera shifts to show a middle-eastern landscape – sandy hills, ancient castles, sun-scorched rocks – as if from a bird's eye view. An announcer speaks in the background.
The Kiravian Orthodox Church believes that, for a period in his life, Jesus of Nazareth fought with the Jewish resistance against the Roman occupiers. The Simon Phoenix company decided to re-tell this story with a new setting.
The camera zooms in to show a young man with long hair, a beard, and amazing muscles, cleaning an assault rifle.
Now, JESUS OF NAJASTER, a young Kahanistani freedom-fighter, leads his men into battle against the most vicious of Doomani provincial governor – PONTIUS PILATES.
The camera shows the face of PILATES – a cruel-looking man with an eyepatch, wearing a Doomani military helmet. Pilates grinss maniacally as he turns to a Doomani officer and says, simple: “Execute them. All of them. Then, it shifts again, to show a small mountain road, and Doomani vehicles – IFVs, MAD II Imperator tanks and recon cars – passing through. We see multiple guerillas hiding in the hills on the sideof the road. One of them is JESUS, naked to his waist, aiming an RPG launcher. He says:
“Though I walk in the darkness of the shadow of death, I have no fear, for I carry an anti-tank launcher and I'm the MEANEST MOTHERFUCKER IN THE VALLEY!”
He fires the launcher, and the point vehicle becomes a ball of roaring file. The other guerillas open fire as well, detonating the rearguard vehicle and capturing the Doomani between the two vehicles of the patrol. Then the camera shifts to show Jesus standing in the open, shooting at the Doomani with a drum-fed Juumanistran Mark XI submachinegun. Another shift – and we see him shooting a Third Spanish States 6.5mm Gatling gun to take down a Doomani Bellicus helicopter, which promptly crashes and explodes.
THIS SUMMER, JESUS DOES NOT BRING PEACE – BUT A SWORD.
We see Jesus jumping high in the air to slice a Doomani soldier's head off with a gladius. Fade to black
* * *
In other news, the Bishop of Liberty-City expressed condemnation of the 'blasphemous, anti-Christian' nature of the new film by famous director George Kowalski – previously responsible for such summer hits as An Officer and a Freeman, an action film about a fighter pilot in the Fourth Edolian War and The Weapon, a film based on the classic Williamson novel.
(http://www.amazon.com/Weapon-Freehold-War-Michael-Williamson/dp/1416508945)
In part, the Bishop has stated: 'The reference to Kiravian faith as the basis to this film's plot does not save it from being a travesty. We hope that Kiravian Christians are as offended by this rendition of their faith's teachings as are the Catholics by this vile travesty of Christianity, which opposes everything Jesus ever taught.'
However, Moses Jackson, the leader of the Liberty-City Kiravian Orthodox Church, had replied: “This is only a movie, and quite an entertaining one, I believe. There is nothing 'blasphemous' or 'anti-Christian' about it, and if it gets young people interested in out faith, the better. The Bishop should get himself a life.”
OOC: Well, this is about a controversial, high-budget action movie, essentially involving a 1980's Action-style Jesus chopping up loads of Doomani soldiers (but with far better SFX than 1980's action flics, and far more gore, violence, and gun porn, since Allanea has much less prejudice against this sort of thing than the RL USA – think Battle Royale or Kill Bill). It'll also have some better acting than US 1980's action flics because in Allanea, this is the sort of thing the movie industry directs the good actors to.
One hopes it'll generate some IC controversy in your nation – so if you want to participate in this, just post up the reaction of whoever in your nation will care – movie critics, Church leaders, whatever. Also ticket sales would be nice.
Camera shifts to show a middle-eastern landscape – sandy hills, ancient castles, sun-scorched rocks – as if from a bird's eye view. An announcer speaks in the background.
The Kiravian Orthodox Church believes that, for a period in his life, Jesus of Nazareth fought with the Jewish resistance against the Roman occupiers. The Simon Phoenix company decided to re-tell this story with a new setting.
The camera zooms in to show a young man with long hair, a beard, and amazing muscles, cleaning an assault rifle.
Now, JESUS OF NAJASTER, a young Kahanistani freedom-fighter, leads his men into battle against the most vicious of Doomani provincial governor – PONTIUS PILATES.
The camera shows the face of PILATES – a cruel-looking man with an eyepatch, wearing a Doomani military helmet. Pilates grinss maniacally as he turns to a Doomani officer and says, simple: “Execute them. All of them. Then, it shifts again, to show a small mountain road, and Doomani vehicles – IFVs, MAD II Imperator tanks and recon cars – passing through. We see multiple guerillas hiding in the hills on the sideof the road. One of them is JESUS, naked to his waist, aiming an RPG launcher. He says:
“Though I walk in the darkness of the shadow of death, I have no fear, for I carry an anti-tank launcher and I'm the MEANEST MOTHERFUCKER IN THE VALLEY!”
He fires the launcher, and the point vehicle becomes a ball of roaring file. The other guerillas open fire as well, detonating the rearguard vehicle and capturing the Doomani between the two vehicles of the patrol. Then the camera shifts to show Jesus standing in the open, shooting at the Doomani with a drum-fed Juumanistran Mark XI submachinegun. Another shift – and we see him shooting a Third Spanish States 6.5mm Gatling gun to take down a Doomani Bellicus helicopter, which promptly crashes and explodes.
THIS SUMMER, JESUS DOES NOT BRING PEACE – BUT A SWORD.
We see Jesus jumping high in the air to slice a Doomani soldier's head off with a gladius. Fade to black
* * *
In other news, the Bishop of Liberty-City expressed condemnation of the 'blasphemous, anti-Christian' nature of the new film by famous director George Kowalski – previously responsible for such summer hits as An Officer and a Freeman, an action film about a fighter pilot in the Fourth Edolian War and The Weapon, a film based on the classic Williamson novel.
(http://www.amazon.com/Weapon-Freehold-War-Michael-Williamson/dp/1416508945)
In part, the Bishop has stated: 'The reference to Kiravian faith as the basis to this film's plot does not save it from being a travesty. We hope that Kiravian Christians are as offended by this rendition of their faith's teachings as are the Catholics by this vile travesty of Christianity, which opposes everything Jesus ever taught.'
However, Moses Jackson, the leader of the Liberty-City Kiravian Orthodox Church, had replied: “This is only a movie, and quite an entertaining one, I believe. There is nothing 'blasphemous' or 'anti-Christian' about it, and if it gets young people interested in out faith, the better. The Bishop should get himself a life.”
OOC: Well, this is about a controversial, high-budget action movie, essentially involving a 1980's Action-style Jesus chopping up loads of Doomani soldiers (but with far better SFX than 1980's action flics, and far more gore, violence, and gun porn, since Allanea has much less prejudice against this sort of thing than the RL USA – think Battle Royale or Kill Bill). It'll also have some better acting than US 1980's action flics because in Allanea, this is the sort of thing the movie industry directs the good actors to.
One hopes it'll generate some IC controversy in your nation – so if you want to participate in this, just post up the reaction of whoever in your nation will care – movie critics, Church leaders, whatever. Also ticket sales would be nice.