NationStates Jolt Archive

Greetings,

I am writing to the international community for assistance in a regional crisis. In the region of Hoe Land, The Armed Republic of Salchicha.com, the largest producer of sausage, recently underwent a traumatic market crash as a result of a long term erosion of purchasing power and a tight monetary policy in the business sector. The Republic of Willimanitirix is more than willing to help its neighbor, but is unable to do so alone.

Sausage is the primary food of many of our citizens, and unfortunately after hundreds of years, it has become a staple of normal diet. Without it, many will needlessly suffer and perhaps die.

I, the Supreme Ruler of Immaculate Justice of Willimanitrix, ask for neighboring countries to send food shipments or any degree of aid to help alleviate the crisis at hand. At present, 182,000 people in our own country are without food, and upwards of 2,000,000 are without food in Salchicha.com. As sausage is the regional staple food item, it is imperative that we regain the food and stable economy necessary to save the lives of our citizens.

Any help in this issue would be greatly appreciated, and as a new member of the international community, we would gladly repay any debt. We understand this is a massive undertaking on anyone's part.

Warmest regards,

The Supreme Ruler of Immaculate Justice of the Republic of Willimanitirix

on Behalf of the Armed Republic of Salchicha.com

To Willimantrix:
From South Lizasauria:

We are more than willing to supply your nation with sausages provided we are paid well for it.

IAOFR
Internal Administration of Foreign Relations

The Goverment of Sultenia

To: The goverment of Willimanitrix

https://butik-hemlangtan-com.loopiasecure.com/varor/Bullens%20Pilsnerkorv%20240%20g.jpg

The Emirate of Sultenia would be happy to sell you our military stockpile of canned sausage for surplusprices. It may sound odd but as our military are getting new supplies these have become obsolete. Do not worry the cans are airtight and canned in such a manner making it almost impossible for them to spoil. But this is also their malfunction, right now they are just occupying space our military force would like to use for new more modern supplies but we don't want to destroy them, it would cost too much money and is a huge waste.

The only thing our nation asks in return is financial payment for the shipping of mentioned goods, continued cooperation in case you need more supplies and an understanding diplomatic relationship between our nations.

Signed
Vogel Ravenholdt, Primeminister of Sultenia

IAOFR
Internal Administration of Foreign Relations

The Goverment of Sultenia

To: The goverment of Willimanitrix

https://butik-hemlangtan-com.loopiasecure.com/varor/Bullens%20Pilsnerkorv%20240%20g.jpg

The Emirate of Sultenia would be happy to sell you our military stockpile of canned sausage for surplusprices. It may sound odd but as our military are getting new supplies these have become obsolete. Do not worry the cans are airtight and canned in such a manner making it almost impossible for them to spoil. But this is also their malfunction, right now they are just occupying space our military force would like to use for new more modern supplies but we don't want to destroy them, it would cost too much money and is a huge waste.

The only thing our nation asks in return is financial payment for the shipping of mentioned goods, continued cooperation in case you need more supplies and an understanding diplomatic relationship between our nations.

Signed
Vogel Ravenholdt, Primeminister of Sultenia

The Supreme Ruler of Immaculate Justice would like to extend his highest gratitude to Primeminister Ravenholdt of Sultenia for his quick and generous assistance in this matter. It is countries like Sultenia that are truly on the forefront in terms of international diplomacy and innovation. His leadership and contribution should be an example to us all.

We graciously accept the shipments of canned sausages, and we will pay handsomely for them. Because of strict anti-free market policies in Willimanitrix there is ample government surplus of human skulls and gold to fund these aid packages. Once you receive the necessary amount of funds for the canned sausages, we will send 450 C-130/F Hercules transports with personnel to your closest military installation to assist with shipping, at your order.

Willimanitrix and Salchicha.com are extremely gracious for this and hope these diplomatic relations continue well into the future. May our nations continue to help one another.

Long Live Brownius Bearitatus, our benevolent patron God,

The Supreme Ruler of Immaculate Justice of Willimanitrix on behalf of the Armed Republic of Salchicha.com

Western Sultenia, Military Supply depot 331

Logistical officer Treed Veljs browsed through his inventory, checking his list, finally he could get rid of these cans and make room for more modern and diverse rations, just this stockpile had enough canned sausage to feed the whole 8th and 22nd armoured division for a two year war.

Treed sighed to himself, this depot was a local supply, it was not meant to carry stockpiles like this, supply would go in, get accounted and get shipped our to local regiments in accordance to need but instead now half the storeroom was occupied by canned sausage, regiments had started to use freezedried army rations on the field instread of the ready-to-eat cans and the regimental cooks can't cook meals that won't get eaten.
Now it was just sitting there, the main supply was full with these in case of a "great war", food and supplies for a 10 year isolation war, so they could not go there, they were full as it is.

He signed the last forms and took one of the cans from the crates. "Best-before 89-10-30" it said on the label, what a "crock of shit" he thought. These sausages could be eaten well after his unborn grandsons were dead and they would still be the same. Laws stated that they had to have an experation date, it was even stated underneath "unkown experation date, airtight sealing".

The trucks would be picking them up in the morning, good riddance, one dust magnet less, but the one he held, would be his dinner.

High Ritual, First City of Willimanitrix

The sky flooded with cargo planes, spewing dark contrails. Artotyanux, acting Chosen Leader of Flight, commanded this group of C-130/Fs to Sultenia airspace, which was still 10 hours away. He sat at the pilot's console and watched the glowing GPS display. Soon they would land at the supply depot to receive the shipments.

Below in the Great Sanctuary, Willimanitrix 12th looked skyward at his forces as they made their way across the highest mountains to the east of the city. It took time to covert the C-130/Fs to cargo planes, as for years they had acted as the best gunships in the Flight Legions. Escorting the planes were his best fighters; this cargo of sausage would save thousands, perhaps millions of citizens.

Willimanitrix 12th looked west toward Salchicha.com. He saw smoke billowing. Famine had caused small wars to break out; Willimanitrixian forces were currently engaging border rebels attempting to steal from government surpluses in his own country. The 12th quietly thanked the Patron God and Sultenia for their efforts to preserve his people and the stability of the region. He ate a sausage contemplatively.

To: The Supreme Ruler of Immaculate Justice of the Republic of Willimanitirix
From: The Tilsitsinian Foreign Office

Your Highness:

As a nation of great size and capability, Tilsitsin wishes to provide immediate aid in order to halt and eliminate what appears to be a truly horrible situation for so many people.

In order to aid these people, we are committed to supplying you with 70 tons of our finest Tilsitsinian bergher sausage, in addition to $200 million USD for the expressed and direct purpose of obtaining further food supplies on the open market.

We are prepared to accept either sea or land transport in order for you to obtain the physical sausage stocks, or we can arrange for transport to you at a moment's notice.

Yours,

Jorge Hernandez
Deputy Foreign Secretary for Aid and Development

Air defence HQ western Sultenia

Commander Jon Viderver overviewed the map and the situation with two air defence advisors and a delegate from the IAOFR.

"And they will be arriving tomorrow?" He asked.
"Yes." Stated the IAOFR delegate. "I know it is a short notice, but they are a modest nation, they need these supplies fast, the logistical divison has gathered up all canned units that were just occupying space, 2/3 of that space will now be used for Airforce munitions, 3rd armoured are on standby just in case, all we need is 22nd on standby and two planes acting as guides."

Viderver pulled up a map, "Air Base Romero VI is large enough to support the incoming planes, send them the co-ordinates and ill have two F-7 Thunderbolts (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saab_37_Viggen) of the older divisions greeting them." Old as those aircraft were, they were bought quite cheap and good for patrol and recon missions.
"Ill put 22nd on the phone."

The IAOFR delegate was quite satisfied. This exchange would prove quite valuble for future diplomatic negotiations.

Official Reply of the Blubland Goverment

Dear strange "Hoe people". Your request for sausage is bewildering, and the MIGHTY BLUB COLONIES are greatly confused. Is it your situation that you are running short on food and require humanitarian aid?

The Colonial Military is prepared to begin deploying humanitarian aid and disaster relief to your needful people, but not necessarily in the form of .. sausage.

Are other foodstuffs and essentials permissible to sustain your beligered citizens?