NationStates Jolt Archive


December Pustch

Ascelonia
12-10-2008, 02:58
It was election day and the votes were piling in. It became more and more clear that the Central Ascelonian Party would actually lose seats in the Parliament. Thomas Schnider could not be found by reporters until suddenly, a gathering of thousands of CAP Stormtroopers began marching down the streets of Ascelonia City. They were marching towards the Parliament building under the leader ship of Gregor Philander.

A dozen miles away to the east, in the town of Liberty on the outskirts of the metropolitan area, a few hundred CAP stormtroopers armed with pistols, rifles, and hatchets stormed the Presidential Mansion. The guards were slaughtered ruthlessly at the front entrance.

The police were either gunned down or actively participating in favor of the CAP. Hundreds of thousands of CAP stormtroopers were catching the Communists and Anarchists in their sleep. Thomas Schnider knocked casually on the door of the President's Office. The President had been woken up and led into the office with his family by the Secret Service.

"Sign this... or die," said Thomas handing the President a piece of paper. The presidents two daughters began crying. Weakness was something that Thomas did not like and was slightly annoyed. The President signed the paper. Thomas whipped up a pistol and shot the President's two daughters dead leaving the President shocked.

Two stormtroopers entered the office as Thomas left. They were carrying hatchets and they were soaked in blood. The overthrow of the government had been orchestrated brilliantly. Now what was next?
Anarcomm
12-10-2008, 04:14
A somber Prime Minister Collette O'Leary appeared on a nationwide broadcast to address the December Putsch:

"My fellow citizens, we have seen a terrible fascist coup unfold in Ascelonia. I was planning on addressing our nation on the progress made in today's elections and urge the President to form a coalition with the Anarchists and Communists. Unfortunately, I am instead addressing you concerning the violent and unconstitutional actions of the CAP. The international community must act to stop this. I hereby grant amnesty to the President and all other refugees from Ascelonia and urge the president to renounce the forced signing and form a resistance either from abroad or in Ascelonia. I also urge the other parties to use their own armed supporters to stop this Putsch. All free nations must stand together in opposition to fascism!"
Oslea
12-10-2008, 04:33
National News Network Studio, Jacinto Plateau, Oslea

The anchorman sat solemnly in front of the camera, papers in hand, with a small picture in the top right corner of the screen that showed a picture of a large group of CAP Stormtroopers marching towards Ascelonia's Parliament building.

"Today, the values of democracy were overthrown today as the Central Ascelonian Party overthrew the current government of Ascelonia before the national election.

Scott W. Fisher, the President of Oslea, issued this statement a few minutes ago."

A clip of the President standing in front of the podium was shown, with journalists and a myriad of microphones in front of him.

"My fellow Osleans and all those who support fair elections,

A military coup by the CAP has been orchestrated, presumably so they do not lose seats in the national election. This is a vicious act against the very values we Osleans stand for today.

As the President of Oslea, we pledge support to the overthrown President to defend the morals and values which we stand for. We cannot let menacing acts like these occur in the world.

The 3rd Marine Force Recon Company of the Oslean States Marine Corps is ready to be deployed should the CAP not reverse their actions."
Falkasia
12-10-2008, 05:51
"Interesting," Kazyenko said, sprawled out on a couch in front of a TV. The room was entirely dark, save the flickery light coming from the TV and illuminating the Prime Minister's face. From somewhere in the darkness came a shuffling, beckoing a quick glance from Vladimir.
"Sir, how shall we act?"
The voice was regarding the TV, which showed the aftermath of the CAP's coup.
"Like always," Kazyenko replied, his eyes still fixed onto the screen. "Get the press. It's been a while since we've helped in a regime change."

Kazyenko Independence Tower, Falkasia, 10:32 AM
On the white marble steps of the world's tallest building stood the Prime Minister, neatly dressed in a handmade Kiravian suit, surronded on all by assistants and staff. As the reporters in front of him waited anxiously for him to begin, he cleared his throat.

"People of Falkasia, a historic event has occured to day! Not here in our glorious country, but in the nation of Ascelonia. The CAP and elements of the SCP party have seized power away from the tyrannical President! It has come to our attention that, although their methods may crude, they are in need of support and help.

He paused to catch his breath.

"Therefore.... it is with great pride and vigor that I am deploying the 1st Army Corps into Ascelonia to help quell the violence and ensure victory for the CAP and SCP forces.
Avalic
12-10-2008, 17:32
After hearing the news reported on Avalic Central Television, the president called a meeting of High Command consisting of several military leaders from different branches and the Minister of Defense. "As you all heard, there is a brutal uprising in Ascelonia led by the Central Ascelonian Party. It is assumed that the Ascelonian President has been captured or killed by stormtroopers due to the invasion of Liberty. Many citizens have been slaughtered to create this one party dictatorship, I've heard many depictions of the party's leader as a harsh racist so I worry for the welfare of immigrants and tourists inside the country. I hope they only deport them but it could be worse if they decide to force them inside the country where they are not wanted by the CAP and their supporters. I believe we must intervene and stop them before anymore needless loss of life happens by supporting the other parties to take power."

It was followed by large debate between supporters of military intervention and those who thought it shouldn't concern the lives of the country's soldiers. Though in the end, the required amount of votes for military intervention were made and the Avalican Army would be sent to help out in the current situation. There were a few objections in Parliament after the decision was sent to the media, but since they weren't declaring war due to the fact that the government wasn't recognized after the overthrow, they did not intervene.
Whiskeasy
12-10-2008, 17:54
On the steps of Parliament House Prime Minister Jack Daniels made his statement. He looked towards the television cameras and said "People of Whiskeasy and the free world. Today I have seen one of the most disgraceful and nauseating acts possible committed by a political party. The Central Ascelonian Party has brutally killed it's way into power through the execution of party competitors and innocent civilians. The Central Ascelonian Party have seized control of Ascelonia and have not doubt started a brutal dictatorship. I, as the leading representative of Whiskeasy condone this and unless they hand control back to the Government or face dire consequences!"
Ascelonia
12-10-2008, 18:02
The stormtroopers were rushing into Parliament like a pack of ravenous wolves. Most of the guards stepped aside and dropped their weapons. The few who resisted were promptly slaughtered by a variety of crude weapons. The medley of aggressors bore the blue cross of Lorraine on an armband around their right arms.

The non-CAP members of Parliament attempted to escape the fighting by exiting through windows and backdoors. They were ripped apart by hatchets and knives. Some were jumping off the upper floors only to kill or cripple themselves. The fighting soon stopped and it was the sound of the deafening cry of the stormtroopers that hung about.
Falkasia
12-10-2008, 18:11
11:56 PM, Somewhere over Ascelonia

As the sound of engines hummed in the distance, the sky over Ascelonia slowly darkened into a single, unrelenting blackout. High above flew an armada of Falkasian C-10 Minotaur aircraft, each laiden with hundreds of troops bound for the beseiged country. Also onboard were rations and equipment for the local SCP soldiers, should the need arise for it.

As they approached their destination, the planes descended in a well choreographed wave, slowly extending their rear loading ramps as they went. Faint pin-pricks of light began to illuminate the sky. As near-endless waves of soldiers through themselves out of the planes, parachutes began to fill the air Each one seemed to compete for space as they gently drifted towards the ground. It was all very chaotic, and yet all very orderly at the same time.

With a thousand thuds, the soldiers, supplies, and vehicles impacted the ground. Most of the troops landed well within the pre-definied landing zones, although as to be expected, a few groups drifted off course. A small carrier group had been dispatched from Falkasia, but until it arrived, the task of securing the country would be solely up to the paratroopers.

Once they got organized, the first order of business would be to find and establish an HQ.
Ascelonia
12-10-2008, 18:14
Edward had been arrested with his men at the apartment building. The more embarassing part was that the CAP party stalwarts were carrying cameras and took pictures of Edward in bed with another man. They had more than enough reason to kill them, especially since enough Ascelonians were staunchly heterosexual and disapproved of the alternative.

Edward was blindfolded and beaten. The CAP stalwarts ushered them into a truck. The distinct sound of the military truck's engine echoed in his ears. Soon, it was silent. Just the hum of the motor. For an eternity, perhaps, there was nothing. Just him and the faint sound of the engine.

An arm reached out and grabbed him. The stormtroopers were taking him somewhere else. A lot of screaming and crying could be heard over the orders of the CAP stalwarts. He stumbled forward a few times only to receive a strike to the face for his error or poor balance.

The next thing he remembered was light pouring into his eyes. Almost too much at once. The metal doors groaned shut behind him. A swinging lightbulb hung above him. There was a table. Copies of the December Pustch Manifest and orders. The pictures of him and the other man.

God... he thought. He turned to the door as a man entered. Edward promptly raised his two fists in the CAP salute.

"Should've thought of your loyalties before..." said the guard sharply. His hand bore an old six-shooter. He wore a khaki uniform, in Arcindis, they called it butternut. The blue cross of Lorraine stared at Edward, not only from the armband on the man's shoulder, but also around his cap. A deafening bang and the pistol coughed a stream of light. Edward felt his chest, blood was rushing out. He collapsed onto the floor. The man cocked back the gun and fired more shots.
Ascelonia
12-10-2008, 18:31
Hobnailed Jackboots slammed into the ground as the stormtroopers paraded through Ascelonia City, triumphant. The President was dead and the once anti-CAP Parliament was... dissolved. The chain of command was failing. The higher officers who actually had some sense were losing their soldiers to desertion. They deserted and often became CAP stormtroopers immediately after resigning or going AWOL.

The National Courts sent out orders for the arrest of Thomas Schnider (CAP candidate), Corey McAllister (Founder), and He Zhutian (Parliament Majority Leader). Unfortunately, these orders failed to function as law enforcement agencies broke apart indirectly due to separate party allegiances and directly due to the CAP taking them down.

Party stalwarts picked fights and started brawls with bystanders who disagreed with what was happening (mostly Anarchists). The Party elite were occupying Mansions of the Old Regime.

Thomas Schnider led a long caravan, which stretched out for many, many miles. They were mostly military and pick-up trucks filled with Party supporters. They were trekking a few hundred miles from Ascelonia City to Pacifica (the capital of Ascelonia when West Ascelonia seceded). They disembarked as they neared the city. The trucks allowed men to stand at the sides and in the front. Ten men standing should to shoulder, clogging the roads with an endless following behind them. In front of them was Thomas, Corey, and Zhutian in a pick-up truck driving at an extraordinarily slow speed.

Four men carried banners to the side of the truck. Imperialistic banners of the Party's blue cross of Lorraine set in a silky smooth material. The cross could also be found all along the flag pole which had the cross of Lorraine engraved in strange patterns that carved into the flagbearers' hands. The carving was worn with pride. The top had the cross of Lorraine set in a circle. A hawk sat perched on top of the gold cross. Her wings outstretched and her head facing to the right in proud indifference.
Gragastavia
12-10-2008, 18:34
(Reserved)
Ascelonia
12-10-2008, 18:51
"God... look at those numbers. They must outnumber the Anarchists three to one," gasped one of the bystanders. They had the obvious ignorance to dust the parliamentary election results off their shoulders. The results showed the CAP losing dozens of seats to the Anarchists and Communists despite a decent showing in the election. They needed the Southern Conservative Party's held to keep the majority over the Leftists.

Now, they had tossed away the alliance with the SCP like a used kleenex. The audience stood in awe. Not even, the most dedicated Anarchists did a thing to stop the parade. It was simply too magnificent. The Anarchists had prepared pipe bombs and were ready to go in take down dozens of CAP stormtroopers, but then they looked closer. The CAP were not only within the vicinity of the crowd, they had also brought along women and children.

Lovely maidens and innocent youngens were the arms of the most brutal killers. Many of the enemies of the CAP could not bear to kill anyone, let alone shout insults. It was simply too much to bear. A few local law enforcement officers, who were obviously CAP members, pushed through the crowd arresting the stunned opponents.
Ascelonia
12-10-2008, 19:10
The CAP's blue cross of Lorraine rolled out over the Parliament building and the construction site of the new Imperial Palace for Thomas Schnider. The banners hung everywhere, all across the nation. It was as if the Ascelonian flag had disappeared and been replaced with the CAP banner.
Ascelonia
12-10-2008, 20:22
As soon as Thomas learned of Falkasian interference, he led a march towards the landing zones. The CAP members paraded toward the closest landing zone with Thomas at the front. They dropped their weapons and locked arms to form a human wall, breakable only by the use of force. A lot of women and children made up the human wall. The party leaders at the front seemed uneasy. Thomas turned to the side, "They wouldn't dare to kill innocent people."

A few little boys were running around in front of them, unaware of the danger the Falkasians posed.
Red Tide2
12-10-2008, 20:57
OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM TSRT GOVERNMENT
The TSRT Government has learned of a unlawful and unrighteous coup'd'tat attempt inside the nation of Ascelonia. The TSRT finds the new government unnacceptable too its interests and hereby gives the new government a ultimatum:

Stand down or the Armed Forces of the State will force you to stand down..."
End Statement

Of course, in reality the Totalitarian State of Red Tide could not care one whit about the people of Ascelonia, once again they were out for their own collective interests. As two Carrier Battlegroups left their ports, followed by convoys carrying an entire Field Army of the State Guard, plans were secretly being drawn-up to cart off Ascelonia's industrial infrastructure. Dossiers were also being pulled on prominent Ascelonian scientists and engineers who would be useful to the State.

As the State Naval Forces sailed, the State Aero Force was also preparing a show of its own, lifting off from airbases across the Red Tidean mainland, 610 NIA-04 strategic strike aircraft, their bombbays filled with 500 pound bombs. They headed off, towards the Ascelonian Capitol.
Ascelonia
12-10-2008, 21:04
"Emperor... the nation of Red Tide2 is threatening us. What should we do?" asked an advisor.

"Surrender to Falkasia... that's what we should do. I'll remain de facto leader and the people stay alive. No chance in hell, am I going to hand over this country to Red Tide2. Falkasia will treat us much better than anyone in the Red Tide2," the Emperor yawned as if he had this problem a few days ago. "We're also going to have to make peace with the Anarchists."
Ascelonia
12-10-2008, 21:07
Message from the Office of Emperor

We seek no trouble from foreign countries. Our nation has done nothing wrong. Once we make our peace with the Anarchists, our reign over the nation will be legitamized. We do not want a war or the children and women of this country to die. However, we find it unacceptable that the TSRT seek to make us into their colony. We are handing over control of this nation to the Ascelonian military leaders of the Old Regime and the Falkasian military forces that are already present on our soil. We are prepared to detonate nuclear weapons around our coasts to stave off an attack.

We are not making a fascist regime. We are attempting to recreate the glorious empire that once existed. The Old Empire of Ascelonia, which stretched from the southern seas to the northern ice caps as we do now. We are trying to bring back their standard of living. The Interstates of our present, filled with potholes and cracks, pale in comparison to the great road systems of the Old Empire. We seek for every man to have a fair maiden and many children. We seek for every family to have a decent living quarters.
Whiskeasy
12-10-2008, 21:08
Cabinet Room, Parliament House, Whiskeasy
Prime Minister Jack Daniels was sitting in a room with his political cabinet and leading members of the military and civil forces.
"Sir I'm afraid to say they have ignored us completely, they haven't even issued a statement." Said the aide. Prime Minister Jack Daniels sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "We can't back down now, not in front of the whole world. Were going to have to intervene. Force a regime change, put in the previous government, or something similar. Is any one else trying to stop this?"
The aide coughed and looked at a clipboard of notes "Umm,yes sir. Oslea is threatening to intervene with military force, and Falkasia is on the ground supporting the fascists. Perhaps a coalition is in order? There is also the problem that TSRT are trying to move into the area, however they are saying they restoring order, perhaps they are telling the truth although it is heavily against their normal type of foreign policy which is normally roll up and screw em' all and take what's left."
Field Marshall Smith woke up on the word "military" and said "Yes, yes kill them all, full scale invasion! Wait, who?" It was quickly explained to him with much hooing and haaing from the rest of the cabinet.
"Yes, we suggest a coalition with Osea and then launch a full scale invasian, create a beach head or LZ and then capture them city by city!"

Official Communique
ToOslea
FromPM Jack Daniels

You suggested military involvement if the situation in Ascelonia wouldn't resolve itself, as did I. May I suggest a military coalition to stop the fascists and free the people. That and make sure the people who conducted such atrocities are suitably punished. We must also keep an eye on TSRT which is 'liberating' the people.
Regards
Jack Daniels
Red Tide2
12-10-2008, 21:23
OOC: How do you know Red Tide is planning on making you into a puppet nation? That was no where inside the official statement.

Until I recieve a logical explanation, I am just ignoring that part.

Also, I only posted my bombers taking off, not actually approaching your capitol.

IC:
OFFICIAL REPLY FROM TSRT GOVERNMENT
"The Totalitarian State finds this 'transfer of power' to be an utter farce. The TSRT will accept nothing less than the restoration of the proper and rightful government in Ascelonia, with all international troops permitted inside the nation to ensure a stable hand over of government and prevent a doublecross."
End Messate
Ascelonia
12-10-2008, 21:24
Ascelonian radio stations broadcasted around to the world. The Ascelonian political parties came together. They all disagreed and would've ripped each others' heads off at the moment had the TRST not stirred their patriotic feelings. A great percentage of Anarchists began making oaths of allegiance to the new government and proclaiming their support for a renaissance of Ascelonia. A new Golden Age.

"We... the people of Ascelonia-" came voices in unity. There were many broadcasts like this before, but this time it didn't sound as if the people were at gunpoint. "-we are here to proclaim the damnation of actions against this nation as a whole. We will accept any aid provided by other nations against the TRST or any other imperialistic nation that seeks to infringe on our boundaries. We are also here to accept the will of a new empire. We will not accept ethnic cleansing or the practice of eugenics in any way, shape, or form, but we will accept He Zhutian as the new Emperor of Ascelonia and representatives from each political party to take positions in his cabinet."

The party leaders of each party gathered in the Ascelonia City's Parliament. They ignored the blood shed by their brethren and moved forward with trying to mediate the new government.

"Look. If either the old government is restored or the new dictatorship is upheld, we're all gonna be #$%^ed," said Paul Smith, the long forgotten politician who liked to be frank. He was right, too. The restoration of the old government would result in further violence from both the CAP and the Anarchists, both of which had been ordered to disband dozens of times before they became powerful. The Communists were also a factor in the violence, they remained out of the media, but had a participated in a few assaults on state institution on the Black Night.

"I think that we should keep He Zhutian in power. He's not a bad leader, just a few circuitbreakers short of a motherboard," said Maria Apfelwasser who liked to use strange analogies.

"Hm... I beg to differ, but we do need a strong leader. Someone who won't let this country fall apart," pondered Patricia Kirov.

OOC: My bad... I'm paranoid. You guys said you didn't care about how many lives were lost. It said your bombers are heading towards the capitol.
Red Tide2
12-10-2008, 21:29
OOC: My bad... I'm paranoid. You guys said you didn't care about how many lives were lost. I thought I read something about aircraft being directed towards the capital.

OOC: The TSRT, just for clarity, is in it for its own gain. Obviously, however, Red Tide is not going to broadcast its true intentions to the world. All you know is Red Tide has released several statements and messages making such-and-such demands and that a large invasion force is en-route too your nation.

Also, I did post aircraft taking off and heading towards your capitol, they just are no where near it yet.

IC: The Red Tidean Foreign Minister focused his attention on the reporter who had just asked the question about Ascelonia.

"We are well aware of the radio broadcasts, however, the Red Tidean Government still insists that foreign forces be allowed inside Ascelonia to ensure a stable and proper transfer of power over to this emperor of theirs. That is all."
Ascelonia
12-10-2008, 21:42
"Damn... they're sending more forces than a peacekeeping nation should," Lucas Ferguson said angrily. He was the new Field Marshal of Armour and appointed in the political mediation.

"How do you reckon that?" asked Zhutian lazily yawning.

"You know them. Every nation they've helped out ended up being screwed. It's like the nice guy that a girl meets at a party who gets her on some drugs and then rapes her while she's knocked out. They've done that to every country they've come across. Like picking the ripest flowers and adding them to their collection," said Lucas irately. If he had been any madder, his hair would've been on fire. "Besides, they're sending more forces than the other foreign nations and the goddamn radar, both from hidden detection units and orbital satellites are proving me right."

"Maybe they're just more dedicated to helping us out..." said Zhutian yawning. He was horrible with foreign policy, but great at domestic policy. He was the same way with women.

"Maybe you're just an idiot," muttered Lucas under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Oh... nothing. Must've been the air conditioner."
Ascelonia
12-10-2008, 21:54
The Communists were given extra concessions in ministry positions. They mostly had to do with the issues of cost and construction. The Communists were exceptionally well at moving workers and building things fast and cheap. The Fascists were given positions in policing and getting rid of corruption, which they did semi-successfully (nothing's perfect). The Anarchists were handed with departments ensuring civil and human rights. However this didn't really work out. Although, there was an area for each political spectrum to fit their stereotypes. Rarely, did their stereotypes actually match their skills. There would have to be much more discussion and negotiation before they could create an efficient government.
Whiskeasy
12-10-2008, 22:05
OOC: Sorry, I'm a skim reader, I miss bits of info... I'll cut that bit out.
Red Tide2
12-10-2008, 22:31
Red Tidean demands had not been given into, so the original plan was going to be carried out.

Although the State Naval Forces were still several days away from Ascelonia, the NIA-04B Strategic Bombers were already approaching the Ascelonian Coast. Onboard the lumbering bombers, Electronic Warfare Officers eyes kept sweeping over their instruments, looking out for possible emissions that would signify an Ascelonian SAM or AAA Battery.
Ascelonia
12-10-2008, 23:12
OOC: Foreign peacekeepers have been allowed into our country, though I suspect you're just trying to make an excuse for an invasion. This is going to be a huge cluster%^&* like my last war.

IC:

"TRST bombers are deploying around our border, sir," said Lucas impatiently.

"WHAT?" the Emperor said a little too loudly. He rose immediately, "I want missiles on high alert! Evacuate the population centers! I want the Bunkers to be secured!"

The Bunkers referred to the type set up after the Second War. The Bunkers had been designed to withstand the direct impact of a gigatons of explosive force. The whole system was designed in case of a nuclear war. The whole nation could go underground within a matter of hours. It was called a Lockdown. The drills were never held to keep foreigners from finding out. Children raised there were usually taught how to get to there nearest Bunker entrance.

"Yes, sir!" the communist saluted. The TRST weren't real communists, they didn't attempt to get rid of their government or establish equality. Instead, they attempted to exploit weaker nations. The SAM defense would obviously fail against superior numbers. Nuclear weapons would be the other option, but no one wanted to consider it one. They now relied on foreign support.

OOC: Your nation wouldn't know about the Bunker system. They would be curious as to why the streets are empty, though.
Falkasia
12-10-2008, 23:23
OOC: Sorry for not posting earlier. I've been busy. I accept "control" over your country for the time being and will jointly protect you from any outside forces.

IC:
In the Process.
Anarcomm
12-10-2008, 23:24
Prime Minister Collette O'Leary was still monitoring the events in Ascelonia along with her national security council. Her nation is young and was born in a revolution where anarchists, communists, and radicals briefly governed before her term and again in between her first and second terms. The people of Anarcomm had praised the Black Night, but the December Putsch had outraged them and rekindled their revolutionary spirit. O'Leary was unsure of how to act now that a coalition government had been formed. She planned to address the nation but her aides informed her that Jean Lambert, the nation's leader during its revolutionary past would be addressing the country. "The people and the media again choose this foolish idealist over me! They delay their prime minister's speech for an out of power has-been!" shouted O'Leary as she turned toward the television.

APN Breaking News:

Union Leader Jean Lambert appeared on the screen addressing an assembly of his supporters:

"This new government in Ascelonia is a sham and a mockery of freedom. No true communist or anarchist would join it! We must not recognize this bastard child of nationalism they call a coalition government. The late leader of the Anarchist Party must be rolling in his grave! I condemn the leaders of the Anarchists and Communists that are now supporting the fascists and will support any resistance by true radicals and revolutionaries with troops and funds. The Spirit of the Black Night lives on!"

O'Leary shut off the television and rolled her eyes she would begin preparations to address the nation on the crisis in Ascelonia, but was growing tired of catering to Lambert and his policies.
Red Tide2
12-10-2008, 23:32
OOC: Just a nitpick:
There is not a bunker in the world that can withstand gigatons worth of firepower. In RL, Cheyenne mountain(the best example there-of) can be brought down with a single 25 megaton bomb fused for a ground burst.

Also, if your telling everyone where the nearest bunker is, it would be incredibly easy to find out. You could bribe a man struggling to make ends-meet into telling you, for instance. Also, one could easily draw the conclusion from the fact that the streets would be empty would mean there was some sort of public-bomb-shelter program set-up.

Not that it matters, since it is not really the civilian populace as a whole I am targetting here.

IC:
On the hundreds of bombers approaching the capitol, or now more specifically its factory districts, warnings were shouted about RADAR-locks from SAM sites. Jammers were turned on, flares and aluminum chaff deployed. In some cases it worked, in some cases it didnt. All in all, thirteen bombers fell from the skies, trailing flames or exploding outright. Another sixteen were damaged to varying degree's, most of those would have to ditch on the way home. All this was by the initial volley.

The bombers flew on, jamming and decoying their way through SAMs, more planes exploded or went down, more planes were damaged. Yet the bombers flew on. By the time they went into their bombing runs, the raid count was down too 564 out of an original 610 planes.

Then the bombs began to fall from their bombbays onto the factories below. The planes were filled too capacity with 500 pound bombs, each plane could carry 19,000 pounds. Add it all up and you get 38 bombs per plane, with 564 planes, that was quite alot of bombs. As each plane dropped finished dropping their munitions, they swung around, heading for home.
Ascelonia
12-10-2008, 23:44
OOC: Idk... it's about fifty miles beneath the surface. It doesn't really matter who knows about it, it take genetic and citizenship ID to get inside and if you're too late you can't get in, because C4 is placed along the entrance shafts to seal up the exit/entrance. It's capable of supporting a fraction of the current population, but it can be expanded. I'm really protecting my citizens from the Last Defense Protocol.

IC:

"We appreciate any support we can get," said the Emperor calmly broadcasting from his personal underground bunker, which was another ten miles beneath the Bunker. You couldn't even tell whether the city was being bombed or not. "The invasion of our territory is not going to be tolerated and we will see our lands crushed into radioactive dust than in the hands of the TRST."

The city had been ruined by the bombing, but that was all superficial and easily replaced except for all of the fancy architecture. There could be plenty of factories, offices, and hotels built underground. There was already a Maglev type system working beneath the surface. The lights had been outfitted so that they would emit a faint amount of ultraviolet radiation to imitate the effect of the sun. The whole thing was planned out.

"Status report! Exit 1?" called the security.
Falkasia
13-10-2008, 00:02
The nearest Falkasian garrison was just outside the old Parliment Building, but it was well within range to recieve transmissions from the bunkers. Red Tide had attacked using bombers, and any attack against a protectorate of Falkasia was an attack on Falkasia itself.

"Hang tight. There's not much we can do now, but the 27th Strike Squadron is flying in from Falkasia in an hour. They should provide us with any air support we'll need in the future. For now, all we can do is set up a few truck-borne SAMs."

======

All across the nation, modified URAL Army Trucks were revealed from underneath camouflage tarp and driven into position. These trucks would be ready to fire at a moments notice. However, unbeknowst to Red Tide, the missiles they carried would not be deactivated or blocked by ECM or other Electronic Warfare devices and would continue on towards their target.
Anarcomm
13-10-2008, 00:25
Prime Minister O'Leary called the national security council together to draft a position and/or plan of action of the developing crisis in Ascelonia. Anarcomm had no standing army, but there were former revolutionary leaders and cabinet members made up the council. Some of the old guard revolutionary leaders urged that O'Leary should endorse Lambert's position while others though she should support Falkasia's stewardship of Ascelonia. Some of the newer military and foreign advisers urged her to recognized the new government. Chief of Staff Steven Carpenter shocked the council when he revealed a plan to back the Red Tide's invasion and a return of the old government, well what was left of it or something similar. O'Leary dismissed the raucous meeting and instead released her own plan:

Eight Point Plan for Ascelonia:

1. Form an international task-force to monitor Ascelonia
2. Recognize the new government as a belligerent in the conflict and negotiate with them
3. Leave recognition of the new government on the table
4. Falkasia and the Red Tide2 will declare a ceasefire
5. Split the nation into peace keeping zones until violence ends
6. Hold a referendum on the legitimacy of the new government
7. If people vote to legitimize the coup follow by recognizing the new government
8. International task force can fund a public works project to rebuild Ascelonia which will improve infrastructure and provide jobs

O'Leary hoped her plan would be put into to action, but in reality her real hope was that she might calm the revolutionary spirit in her own country and undercut the increasing support of Lambert.
Falkasia
13-10-2008, 00:27
OOC: I can pretty much guarantee Falkasia not supporting this plan. Falkasia hates attempts at external influence.
Red Tide2
13-10-2008, 00:29
OOC: Idk... it's about fifty miles beneath the surface. It doesn't really matter who knows about it, it take genetic and citizenship ID to get inside and if you're too late you can't get in, because C4 is placed along the entrance shafts to seal up the exit/entrance. It's capable of supporting a fraction of the current population, but it can be expanded. I'm really protecting my citizens from the Last Defense Protocol.

OOC: Erm... Earth's crust only extends, at maximum, 30 miles beneath the surface. The deepest humanity has ever drilled is 11 kilometers (6 miles) beneath the surface, and that required super-strong alloys with no humans inside at all to avoid being crushed by the pressure.

Building cities underground is whole 'nother problem and such cities are deeply susceptible to chemical and biological weapons.

IC: By this time the bombers had left the country. The bombers real purpose actually had not been to destroy anything, but merely to make a point that a Red Tidean juggernaught was coming.
Ascelonia
13-10-2008, 01:48
OOC: Erm... Earth's crust only extends, at maximum, 30 miles beneath the surface. The deepest humanity has ever drilled is 11 kilometers (6 miles) beneath the surface, and that required super-strong alloys with no humans inside at all to avoid being crushed by the pressure.

Building cities underground is whole 'nother problem and such cities are deeply susceptible to chemical and biological weapons.

IC: By this time the bombers had left the country. The bombers real purpose actually had not been to destroy anything, but merely to make a point that a Red Tidean juggernaught was coming.

OOC: Building anti-missile systems in NS is not as feasible as in RL. Your point? The Bunker system was designed in a compartmental style so that a contaminated area could be immediately isolated. I don't want to get in an argument here. The point being, that I have a Bunker system utilizing geological features and going beneath the ocean.

IC:
"We are not here to start a fight. We are here to make peace. However, if any aggression takes place against civilians within our nation, we will take it upon ourselves to retaliate," the Emperor's broadcast rang out. There had been no casualties except for a few soldiers outside of the Bunker and stragglers that should've died anyways for failing to reach the Bunkers.
Ascelonia
13-10-2008, 01:57
Prime Minister O'Leary called the national security council together to draft a position and/or plan of action of the developing crisis in Ascelonia. Anarcomm had no standing army, but there were former revolutionary leaders and cabinet members made up the council. Some of the old guard revolutionary leaders urged that O'Leary should endorse Lambert's position while others though she should support Falkasia's stewardship of Ascelonia. Some of the newer military and foreign advisers urged her to recognized the new government. Chief of Staff Steven Carpenter shocked the council when he revealed a plan to back the Red Tide's invasion and a return of the old government, well what was left of it or something similar. O'Leary dismissed the raucous meeting and instead released her own plan:

Eight Point Plan for Ascelonia:

1. Form an international task-force to monitor Ascelonia
2. Recognize the new government as a belligerent in the conflict and negotiate with them
3. Leave recognition of the new government on the table
4. Falkasia and the Red Tide2 will declare a ceasefire
5. Split the nation into peace keeping zones until violence ends
6. Hold a referendum on the legitimacy of the new government
7. If people vote to legitimize the coup follow by recognizing the new government
8. International task force can fund a public works project to rebuild Ascelonia which will improve infrastructure and provide jobs

O'Leary hoped her plan would be put into to action, but in reality her real hope was that she might calm the revolutionary spirit in her own country and undercut the increasing support of Lambert.

Amendments by the Emperor

Ascelonia agrees to this as long as Ascelonian companies (which have been rebased overseas during this period of time) will take over all factories constructed during this period of time, foreigners will only gain a trading partner after this is over and nothing more, and Ascelonia will not accept any debt created from this undertaking. Ascelonia will have her own projects to improve infrastructure (which was already doing well before the TRST dropped bombs all over it).

We are confident that our government will be legitimized as it has been by leaders of major political parties. There has been intense negotiation, but we favor the interests of the country. We hope to avoid peacekeeping zones, we're fine with soldiers being in our presence, but please keep them in their forts and away from civilians. If a TRST soldier rapes a maiden or shoots a young lad, then violence will erupt again. The TRST has been responsible for hundreds of billions of dollars of damage on Ascelonia City. They should pay this back.

We are here to defend our people and our land. We do not care much for the land, as long as it is not in enemy hands. We hope that we will work together to rebuild Ascelonia after this incident has passed.
Red Tide2
13-10-2008, 02:33
OOC: Building anti-missile systems in NS is not as feasible as in RL. Your point? The Bunker system was designed in a compartmental style so that a contaminated area could be immediately isolated. I don't want to get in an argument here. The point being, that I have a Bunker system utilizing geological features and going beneath the ocean.


OOC: On the contrar, building anti-missile systems in NS is just as feasible as in Real Life. Even more so, actually, given the size and wealth of some nations. The problem is that no anti-missile system, in RL or NS, is going to be able to prevent the total destruction of your nation given a large enough attack.

Of course, you could just not use nukes in the first place. I don't plan on using any.

Also, any bunker system going underneath the ocean would have its occupants crushed from the intense, overwhelming pressure of not just the earth, but also the water. Not to mention that it can get surprisingly hot underneath the ocean seabed.

And where does a nation with only 300 million more people(approx) then the United States get the funds to build something so-monumentally expensive like this?

IC:
OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM TSRT GOVERNMENT
"The Totalitarian State has little too say on the proposed Anarcommian peace plan, other then we support it. We will however note that we refuse to pay for any damages incurred by the ongoing restoration of a proper and legal government to Ascelonia, especially when the price for those damages is obviously incredibly inflated."
End Statement
Ascelonia
13-10-2008, 02:34
Amendments by the Party Leaders

He Zhutian fails to accomplish his tasks as a leader. We hereby vote to instate a new leader to take his place, Christopher Henderson. Henderson is a lesser known politician, but he represents the more ambitious and intelligent people in this country who seek to build on what we have not get more.

This conflict is driving away capital and specialists from Ascelonia. We propose to have a ceasefire. The people will hold elections in a week between Henderson and Zhutian. The legitimate political parties, which have done nothing illegal in the past, will run their representatives for offices.

The TRST will begin paying back debts for destroying our beloved capital (the exact amount is negotiable). We will not stand for the destruction of our land nor the loss of our people.
Ascelonia
13-10-2008, 02:39
OOC: On the contrar, building anti-missile systems in NS is just as feasible as in Real Life. Even more so, actually, given the size and wealth of some nations. The problem is that no anti-missile system, in RL or NS, is going to be able to prevent the total destruction of your nation given a large enough attack.

Of course, you could just not use nukes in the first place. I don't plan on using any.

Also, any bunker system going underneath the ocean would have its occupants crushed from the intense, overwhelming pressure of not just the earth, but also the water. Not to mention that it can get surprisingly hot underneath the ocean seabed.

And where does a nation with only 300 million more people(approx) then the United States get the funds to build something so-monumentally expensive like this?

OOC: I don't really care, the Bunker system is actually designed to hold and maintain a little less than a million occupants (A project after the Second War, partially funded by foreign investors). The present ruler doesn't care much for the lives of Ascelonian citizens. Personally, he believes in the concept of Mutually Assured Destruction. He is more extremist than the rest of the Ascelonians.

And are you kidding me? 10 million pounds of bombs should've leveled the city. We should charge your nation trillions for destroying an entire city!

IC:

Official Response to TRST Government

"THEY DIDN'T EVEN GIVE US A CHANCE! We were in the process of legitimizing the new government when they tried to restore a 'proper and legal' government. Why don't you tell that to the millions of people who were anti-CAP when you leveled their homes. After leveling the city and almost driving the madman in office to destroy the entire country, I don't think that a few hundred billion dollars is too much to ask for. Especially since dollars is worth far less when exchanged for the credit and the fact that they just destroyed a city worth trillions of dollars. Not only did they destroy the city, but also the homes of millions of residents and their jobs. We want to see some justice here. We want this guy out of office, but we have agreed that a strong central government should be installed to keep a nation like the TRST from ever pulling something like this again. If it were up to us, we wouldn't ask for any money, but just permission to level a TRST city without any retribution. We would like to get the damages paid to us and this incident behind us as soon as possible. We have other projects to get to."
Ascelonia
13-10-2008, 03:09
OOC: Just a nitpick:
There is not a bunker in the world that can withstand gigatons worth of firepower. In RL, Cheyenne mountain(the best example there-of) can be brought down with a single 25 megaton bomb fused for a ground burst.

Also, if your telling everyone where the nearest bunker is, it would be incredibly easy to find out. You could bribe a man struggling to make ends-meet into telling you, for instance. Also, one could easily draw the conclusion from the fact that the streets would be empty would mean there was some sort of public-bomb-shelter program set-up.

Not that it matters, since it is not really the civilian populace as a whole I am targetting here.

IC:
On the hundreds of bombers approaching the capitol, or now more specifically its factory districts, warnings were shouted about RADAR-locks from SAM sites. Jammers were turned on, flares and aluminum chaff deployed. In some cases it worked, in some cases it didnt. All in all, thirteen bombers fell from the skies, trailing flames or exploding outright. Another sixteen were damaged to varying degree's, most of those would have to ditch on the way home. All this was by the initial volley.

The bombers flew on, jamming and decoying their way through SAMs, more planes exploded or went down, more planes were damaged. Yet the bombers flew on. By the time they went into their bombing runs, the raid count was down too 564 out of an original 610 planes.

Then the bombs began to fall from their bombbays onto the factories below. The planes were filled too capacity with 500 pound bombs, each plane could carry 19,000 pounds. Add it all up and you get 38 bombs per plane, with 564 planes, that was quite alot of bombs. As each plane dropped finished dropping their munitions, they swung around, heading for home.

OOC: Oh yeah, I forgot. I said that the Anti-Air Defenses were to be put on high alert and not for them to actually open fire.
Red Tide2
13-10-2008, 03:31
OOC: Ten million pounds of bombs, not ten million bombs. The actual number of bombs dropped where approx 21,000.

Anywho:

IC:
The Red Tidean Government did not even bother to respond to the message, if the Ascelonia government was incapable of getting a proper damage assesment, then all the worse for them.

However, Red Tidean interest in the conflict was beginning to waiver. Not the political will, of course, but doubts on the cost-benefit of the whole thing. As the Red Tidean Invasion Fleet drew ever closer to Ascelonia, calculations were being redone on the whole enterprise.
Oslea
13-10-2008, 04:15
Cabinet Room, Parliament House, Whiskeasy
Official Communique
ToOslea
FromPM Jack Daniels

You suggested military involvement if the situation in Ascelonia wouldn't resolve itself, as did I. May I suggest a military coalition to stop the fascists and free the people. That and make sure the people who conducted such atrocities are suitably punished. We must also keep an eye on TSRT which is 'liberating' the people.
Regards
Jack Daniels

ENCRYPTED RESPONSE

Official Communique from the Department of Defense
TO: Jack Daniels
FROM: Harry Westmoreland

The situation will not resolve itself, but we must admit that too many Oslean lives will be lost if we attempt to intervene. Ascelonia is in a state of turmoil right now and the Joint Chiefs of Staff are unwilling to commit more than a single Marine Force Recon company which is obviously not enough to stabilize the situation now that foreign powers are involved.

We regretfully must retract the threat of military intervention.

Regards,
Harry Westmoreland
Secretary of Defense of the United States of Oslea

OOC: I know I'm late. This is what happens when you leave a thread 8 hours after you post... <_<
Rechburg
13-10-2008, 08:28
The Royal Duchy of Rechburg

Diplomatic Communique

From:-
Duke Leopold
Malmaison Palace
Lorraine
Duchy of Rechburg.

To:
He Zhutian
Emperor of Ascelonia

Sire,
I am pleased that you have taken the bold steps necessary to ensure that your nation returns to stability and eventual democracy.
I have informed my Diplomatic and Military services to form the necessary preparations required to send Military forces to assist you and your allies in defending your realm.

I have been informed that Flakasia has taken over the responsibility of defending your nation, I am prepared to offer my forces on the condition they were along side the Falkasian command as "unofficial allies".
However I will insist on the Rechburg Forces remain under command of the Rechburg Expeditionary Force Commander.

If these terms are acceptable, please respond quickly so I may divert the Expeditionary Battlegroup which is currently at sea returning from Peace-keeping duties in Aios, so they could be on hand very quickly.
Further forces would be flown or sent direct from my Duchy as required.

Forces currently at Sea

The Task force consists of :
10 DDG 32 Type 45 Class Destroyers
10 DDG 51 Arleigh Burke Class Destroyers
1 Duke Leo Class CVF aircraft carrier
2 Ticonderoga class cruisers
3 CGN-1 Renown Class Cruisers
5 LHD 1 Wasp Class landing ship
4 Attack Submarines.
6 Roll on Roll off carriers (!st Sealift Squadron)
6 Conainer ships (1st sealift Squadron)
2 mechanised Brigade
1 battalion Special services
1 Detachment (Research Department 717) (Intelligence)

In deepest regard

Duke Leopold
Royal Duchy of Rechburg
Falkasia
13-10-2008, 19:01
OOC: Hey, can you give some stats for a Conainer ship and a Roll on Roll off Carrier? I want to see how they stack up against my militia fishing boats.
Rechburg
13-10-2008, 19:30
OCC
One of my container ships has the ability to carry 3000 teu (TEU = Twenty Foot equivalent Units) so there is a very good chance they could carry a few of your militia fishing boats':hail:

Boring fact stuff - the ships are based on those built the German Howaldtwerke Shipyard.

One of the roll on Roll off - Rechburg Navy
http://i326.photobucket.com/albums/k411/Game-Images/HSVSwift.jpg
Falkasia
13-10-2008, 21:26
OOC: Ok.
Ascelonia
13-10-2008, 22:00
OOC: Yea... I meant ten million pounds worth of bombs.

IC: The people who had been made homeless by the bombings were moved underground while specialists began conducting a damage assessment. The party leaders began discussing what would happen next. A democracy would fail, especially with underground elements of radical groups remaining at large to strike the moment when the government grew weak.

A strong central government with elected officials was preferable. They issued a three-page message (OOC: I will not write it out) about the current status of Ascelonia and what would be best for it's future. A good amount of political leaders had been open-minded about the issues at hand, but those who weren't went underground.

To: Rechburg
From: Leaders of Ascelonia

We do not have an official office currently, but we formally request that He Zhutian not be recognized as the representative of our nation. He continually threatens the usage of nuclear weapons and we propose he be removed... forcefully. The TRST must also pick up the bill they have left behind. It is international ettiquette to pay for the things you break. They have broken a major city, our capitol city. They must pay for damages incurred. There is one last thing concerning us, the status of our nation's economy and government. We have series of plans to outline to the world after this ordeal is over with.
Ascelonia
13-10-2008, 22:05
Message from the Office of Emperor

We will not tolerate the failure of the TRST to pay for what they have damaged and with interest! My personal expense analysts list the cost of the at an upwards of 50 trillion dollars for the near total destruction of our city. I will not hesistate to use nuclear weapons. In fact as I write this, I am prepared to make a grand exit with three nuclear weapons and a few secret documents.

Let it be known that I and only I represent this government and the people within it! I will personally see your nations in hell!
Red Tide2
13-10-2008, 22:57
There was no reply for about a day as the Red Tidean Invasion Fleet drew closer to Ascelonia. Then, the following statement was released.

Official Statement from TSRT Government
"After consultation with foreign analyst specialists, the Totalitarian State of Red Tide is fully ready and willing to offer a status quo peace treaty."
End Statement
Ascelonia
13-10-2008, 23:01
To: TSRT Government
From: Ascelonian Revolutionary Government

We accept your peace treaty, but in order to remain within the vicinity of our country, you must aid in reconstructing what you have destroyed, if not, offer a monetary sum for damages incurred. Otherwise, let your reputation with the international community be scarred for the unnecessary destruction of a city.
Ascelonia
13-10-2008, 23:05
To: International Community
From: He Zhutian

I am now safely out of reach from international agencies. I order that the sum of one trillion dollars be paid to the Black Fist freedom fighters lest the three nuclear weapons under my control be dropped on TSRT and/or Ascelonian cities.
Red Tide2
13-10-2008, 23:12
Official Statement from TSRT Government
"The Totalitarian State will pay for nothing. It was a war, in a war, things get destroyed and people get killed. That is how war works. You can either accept the status quo, or we can continue the war.

As for the threat of the deployment of nuclear weapons against Red Tidean cities, three missiles will not be sufficient to make-it through our ABM systems. If the madman He Zhutian wishes to irrationally destroy his own cities even though the nearest Red Tidean troops are days out, then he can do so and suffer the international and domestic repercussions."
End Statement
Ascelonia
13-10-2008, 23:19
To: TSRT Government
From: Ascelonian Revolutionary Government

We asked for a cessation of hostilities earlier and did our best to put an end to this war, but He Zhutian has already escaped the country. We need your assistance to hunt him down. He obviously does not have direct posession of all three of these nuclear weapons. We suggest that we form a join venture to hunt them down. A continued war will not accomplish anything, especially since He Zhutian does not represent this country nor does he care about the lives lost.
Red Tide2
13-10-2008, 23:29
Official Reply from TSRT Government
"We are offering a peace, nothing more, nothing less. If He Zhutian does not have possession of the nuclear warheads, then he is a none-issue. If he is found in Red Tide, then he will be arrested.

If you want He Zhutian that badly, then simply agree to peace and have the Falkasians help you. They should be able to provide enough assistance by themselves."
End Message
Ascelonia
13-10-2008, 23:33
To: TSRT Government
From: He Zhutian

I've sent a stream of clues to the ARG. They failed to interpret them correctly. They are bloodtraitors and half-breeds. Ascelonia is full of them. The people of Ascelonia deserve to die. We need some fresh blood to be born of the destruction of these people. Perhaps a more worthy civilization will inhabit this region. Go ahead. Continue the war. The Black Fist has been profiting more and more by selling weapons on the Black Market. Once the nuclear bombs hit, the Black Fist will be cleared out of the country.
Ascelonia
13-10-2008, 23:36
To: TSRT Government
From: Ascelonian Revolutionary Government

We accept your offer of peace. We would like you to aid in rebuilding our nation, but first the task of capturing He Zhutian. He has probably assumed that after he detonates nuclear weapons on TSRT soil, that your government will launch a retaliatory strike against Ascelonia, thereby ensuring our destruction in his profit.
Red Tide2
14-10-2008, 00:02
Official Reply from TSRT Government
To Ascelonian Revolutionary Government
"We agreed to a peace, nothing more, nothing less. You will see no aid from us in either reconstruction or hunting He Zhutian. Our invasion fleet is turning around, this concludes our affairs. Good luck."
End Statement

True to the Red Tidean word, the two Carrier Battlegroups heading for the Ascelonian Nation turned around, as did the convoy following it. It was, all-in-all, a dull state of affairs.
Falkasia
14-10-2008, 02:04
To: Ascelonia
From: Falkasia
Regarding: Red Tide's Pig-headedness and Refusal to Reconstruct

The People's Republic of Falkasia, in light of the incredible arrogance and pig-headness of the bloated Red Tide nation, would like to extend a hand of friendship and good will. We would like to offer our help in reconstructing your country, n the only benefit on our part is a small, airforce base to the north of your country, near the border with Falkasia itself. If all is acceptable, monentary, material, and human aid wil lbe sent via truck and plane to start rebuilding.
Daiwiz
14-10-2008, 03:54
OOC:I apologize for the OOC, but please give me a run down on what this is. You wanted my help Ascelonia, now you have my attention. I have been inactive for awhile, I warn you.
Ascelonia
15-10-2008, 00:14
OOC: It's fine. We have negotiated peace, but now we need to rebuild my nation.

IC:
Ascelonia needed new jobs and a new way to become powerful once more. The ideas of reconstruction flowed through the minds of their engineers. It would be time to rebuild Ascelonia into a model nation.
Falkasia
15-10-2008, 00:53
OOC: I've got some mercenaries that I just hired. Mind if I deploy them to help in construction?
Ascelonia
15-10-2008, 00:58
OOC: I've got some mercenaries that I just hired. Mind if I deploy them to help in construction?

OOC: Sure. Write it in the thread reconstruction. That one will last far longer. It has two stories running. The Black Fist terrorist organization and the actual reconstruction of Ascelonia.
Falkasia
15-10-2008, 01:22
Ok, can you post a link?
Ascelonia
15-10-2008, 01:24
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=569144

I have a few crazy ideas here.
Daiwiz
15-10-2008, 03:23
Crazy ideas last longest, and are the most entertaining. Also, perhaps I should nuke your nation.... Lol. I have too much going on already to get involved with about 20 nations ganging up on me. Lawlz. Also, that would just waste my four nukes...I don't like using nukes anyways lawlz....